Women Translations
by Thats So Raven

Rating: PG13
Ship: Draco & Ginny
Canon: Books 1 - 5
Genre: Humor, Romance
Status: Complete
Length: 3,134 words in 1 chapter
Published: 20 Jan 2004
Last updated: 20 Jan 2004

Draco Malfoy learns a few things in the Langauge of Women. Comedy...R/R Plz! (One Shot)

From the Unofficial Portkey Archive: https://portkey-archive.org/story/1617/

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1. Woman Translations

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Summary: Draco Malfoy, husband of Virginia Weasley, learns a lesson in the translations of women.

Women Translations

Draco Malfoy apperated into Blaise Zabini’s office. His best friend was leaning over a thick book.

“What are you doing?”

Blaise’s head snapped up and he glared at Draco, “Don’t you have your own manor?”

Draco ignored him and took a seat in the chair in front of the desk, “Ginny’s not in a good mood…I needed to get out of
the manor.” He put his feet on Blaise’s desk, “What are you reading?”

Blaise raised an eyebrow at Draco’s feet before shoving them off, “A book on women, Pansy yelled at me for not
understanding women the other day. Today she came home and threw this book at me…” He looked up at Draco, “Women are so
complicated.”

“What does the book say?”

“It’s telling me that when a woman says ‘Yes’ to a question, she means ‘no’ and when she says ‘maybe’ she means ‘no’
also. Why can’t yes mean yes, and no mean no!?”

Draco shrugged, “No idea…”

“Blaise!”

“Shit…you better go.”

Draco smirked before wishing his friend good luck and apperating back home.

“Draco?” Came Ginny’s voice from down the hall.

“Hullo, luv.”

Ginny smiled and kissed him on the cheek, “I think we need to take a little trip to Hogsmeade.”

“Why?”

“Well, the manor is looking a little…dull. I think we should buy new drapes for the family room and our bedroom.” She
winked at him while thinking, ‘This goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics store, Madam Malkins, the
shoe store…I need a new purse…I hope he brings his check book.’

“Alright, get ready and we’ll leave.”

Ginny kissed him softly on the lips before turning around and going into their room to get dressed.

Half an hour later Ginny stepped into the living room and saw Draco’s eyes slowly closing. “Draco! Get up!”

He shot up off the couch, “Oh, you’re ready.”

She smiled and nodded, “Let’s go!” She pulled held his hand and they both apperated.

Draco held his hand in hers and walked towards Madam Malkins, “Gin, I’m going to go into Flourish and Blotts, I need to
pick up something.”

Ginny frowned, “…alright.” She gave him a small peck on the cheek before continuing on her shopping journey.

Draco walked into Flourish and Blotts, “Hello Mr. Malfoy, how may I help you?”

Draco looked around to see if anyone was listening, “I’m looking for a book on…women.”

“Women?” The clerk said loudly.

“Keep it down!”

“Sorry, sir. All the books on women are upstairs, on the back shelf.”

Draco nodded and made his way up the stairs. “Women…women…” He tilted his head to read the spine of one, “Translating
the Language of Women for Men.” He pulled it out and flipped through the book. He carried the book back downstairs and
paid for it.

“Have a lovely day, Mr. Malfoy.”

Leaving the shop he opened the book to a translation page and read over a few, laughing. How true was this! When he and
Ginny were getting married she had bought at least 12 pairs of shoes! All the others were…’the wrong shade of white.’

He opened the door into Madam Malkins, “Gin?”

“Back here Draco.” He heard from a dressing room. He smiled and made his way towards the door.

He opened it, “Are you nearly done?”

Ginny turned around, a pout showing on her face, “Does this robe make my butt look big?”

When asked, ‘Is my butt big’ a woman usually wants to be told she is beautiful.

“Gin, you look beautiful.” She blushed and turned back to the mirror, ‘The book actually works!’

“Thank you, Draco. But that’s not what I asked you.” His eyes locked with hers in the mirror, “Does this make my butt
look big?”

He shook his head, “Not at all.”

“Okay.”

Two hours later Draco’s hand was full of bags, and Ginny smiled happily as they exited the last store. “Well I’d like to
say we got a lot of good deals today!”

“Can we go home, now?” Ginny nodded and they apperated into Malfoy Manor, “Bloody hell…never going shopping again.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing luv, nothing at all.”

“I’m going to have Theresa get dinner started.”

He nodded and made his way towards his office. Draco put his feet on the desk in his office. He leaned back and opened
the book.

He read through the first chapter, learning about the many moods of women. Turning the page to chapter two, he read
on…finally understanding what Ginny really meant when she said, ‘You’re so manly!’ She actually meant, ‘You need to
shave…and you sweat a lot.’

That was not true! He was a Malfoy, and Malfoy’s do not sweat!

He read a little more before Ginny came into the room announcing that dinner was ready. They sat together and ate in
silence.

“I have a business meeting this weekend.” Ginny nodded, “I’ll be gone for a week.”

She sighed, “Again?”

He nodded, “I don’t need to go to it, it’s just rather important. If you want me to stay…I will.” She shook her head,
“its okay for me to go?”

“Sure…go ahead.”

Sure, go ahead means, ‘I don’t want you to.’

Draco rolled his eyes, “Really, Gin. If you don’t want me to go, then I won’t.”

“Its fine Draco, I’ll just stay with Mum.”

“This is you’re last chance…”

“It’s fine.” She glared at him

~*~

That night Draco sat in bed, Ginny snuggled closer to him when she sat up and looked around, “I heard a noise.”

When you are sleeping at night, and she says, ‘I think I heard something.’ It is just an excuse to get you to stay up;
she probably wants to talk to you.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as he put his hands on her shoulder and brought her body back to his, rubbing her back.

“Draco…” She put her head on his chest, “do you love me?”

When asked, ‘Do you love me?’ Your girlfriend/wife, no doubt, wants something expensive.

He laughed, “Of course I do.”

Smiling she took in a big breath, “Do you want to have a baby?”

His hand stopped moving, “You’re not…pregnant…are you?”

She shook her head, “No, I just think that since we’re 25 and 26, that it’s about time for us to have kids.”

Draco’s eyes stared into the darkness, his brain searching for the perfect answer, “I think we should wait…”

“Wait? How much longer do you need! I want to be able to run around, with my child, you know!”

“Ginny, I want to have a baby; I just think we should wait until everything is perfect.”

Ginny sighed, “I really want to though…either way it’s your decision.”

‘Damn you, woman.’ He ran a hand down her cheek, “My decision?”

“Yes, Draco…I can’t exactly climb on top of myself and get pregnant.”

Women often want you to feel bad when you don’t agree with them. When they tell you it’s your decision…they want you to
understand that the correct decision should already be obvious.

Draco closed his eyes, “Gin, can’t you wait a few more months?”

She pouted and moved away from him, “Don’t feel obliged to sleep on the couch.” Turning on her side she yanked most of
the covers on her side of the bed and glared at the wall.

“Virginia…” When she didn’t answer him he pushed the blankets off him and moved to the fireplace. He started up a fire
and sat on the couch in front of it, “Women.” Was the last thing he said before drifting off to sleep.

~*~

The next few days around the house were rough; Ginny continuously slammed doors wherever she went. One morning Draco
found her in the kitchen, eating breakfast that looked just cooked. He sat down at the table, only to notice there was
no plate for him. He looked at her, face blank. Ginny sat her fork down as she looked at him. She tilted her head to the
right and smiled, angelically.

“Are you still upset Gin?”

She shook her head, “I’m not upset.”

“That’s good. Because I’m leaving tomorrow and I don’t want to leave on a bad note.”

Ginny stood up, pushing her chair back, “Of course I’m upset you moron! How could I not be upset!?”

‘Damn! I should have finished that chapter last night.’ Draco put his head in his hands, “Gin…I’m sorry! I want to have
a baby too; I just want to make sure I’m home for the entire nine months. So please stop being emotional and
overreacting.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, “I’m not emotional! And I am NOT overreacting.”

…if she is seems emotional and overreacts it is probably that time of the month. Unless you are married to/dating a
Drama Queen.

“Virginia…” He warned in a dangerously low tone, “Sit down. We are going to talk about this, now.” She sat down and put
her hand neatly in her lap. “What is wrong with waiting?”

She shrugged, “Nothing.”

Nothing = Everything

“Ginny…”

“Alright!” She sighed, “I’m so jealous, Draco! All of my girlfriends have babies and I’m the only one who doesn’t! I
want to go shopping for baby clothes! I want to have sudden cravings for food late at night! I want you to say that
you’re not going to get it, but then you do anyways! Draco…that’s what I want. So if you want to know what’s wrong with
it…everything is wrong.”

Everything = her PMS is acting up.

Draco stood up and walked to her chair, “Do you really want a baby.”

“I want one if it’s what you want too.”

“As I said, I want a baby…just not yet.” He lifted her chin up, “okay?”

She nodded, “I’m sorry.” She put her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder.

“I’m not going to be sorry for this later, am I?” He asked, remembering what he read in the book.

“No, why?”

“Just…wondering.” He stood and picked Ginny up with him. “How about we go in the bedroom and start saying our
farewells?” Ginny grinned and kissed him on the lips. She unclasped his robe and it fell to his heels on the floor.

~*~

Draco sat a cross from Ginny as they had lunch.

“How much do you love me, Draco?”

She did something you’re not going to like.

“How much do you love me?” She asked when he didn’t respond.

He took his hand in hers, “More than you’ll ever know…”

“Good.” She smiled, “because I invited ‘Mione and some of the girls over to help me re-decorate the manor.”

“What!? What’s wrong with my manor? I like it just the way it is.”

“Our manor seems really dark and gloomy-“

“That’s how I want it…and it’s going to stay that way.”

“Draco,” She whined, “We’re just going to change the guestrooms and the living room.”

“No pinks, purples, blues, reds, yellows, oranges…basically no colors besides black, white, grey or green.”

“Burgundy?”

“No.”

“Please, please, please!!”

She stuck her bottom lip out, pouting, “Fine, just don’t ask for any of my help…I just get the last say in what
happens.”

“Okay.” She smiled and continued eating.

~*~

Hermione, Fleur, Lavender, and Luna sat in the living room of Malfoy Manor.

“Okay so Draco said we can do anything…it just has to be approved by him.”

“Well then we can’t do anything…he’ll shoot any ideas down because he thinks their too, ‘girly’.”

“No he won’t! If he does…he’ll be lacking a certain happy partner.” Ginny smiled, “Let’s get to work!”

They took out the black leather couches and brought in a burgundy set of sofa’s.

“Draco!” Ginny screamed.

She waited for him to show up, “What?”

“Can you please take that picture out of here?”

“Excuse me?”

“The picture of your father…”

“No.”

“Well can you move it into his old study? I wanted to put one of our wedding there.”

“I told you not to ask for any of my help.”

“But…But…Please? It scares me.” She pouted and was about to stick out her bottom lip.

“You keep that lip right where it is, Virginia! Have one of your little girlfriends do it…I’m busy.” He glared at her
and walked out the room.

“He was against this whole thing from the begging.” Ginny turned towards the smirking picture of Lucius Malfoy, “Damn
you…” After conjuring up a blanket she levitated it over the picture and made sure it stayed in place. She moved it over
to the far side of the living room wall. “That’s much better!”

Later when they were all done Ginny called Draco back into the room to look over it. As he surveyed the room Ginny bit
her lip.

“It’s fine.” He said finally, as if it were no big deal.

“That’s it? No, ‘Great job girls!’?”

Draco smiled, “Nive job ladies.”

“Thank you.” They all replied.

“Now Gin, if you don’t mind I’m going to get dinner started.”

“Do what you want,” She rolled her eyes, ‘Mr. Smartarse.’

You’re going to pay for whatever you did later.

And he did pay…he had to sleep on the couch…again.

~*~

Ginny walked out of the bedroom in Draco’s shirt to see him napping in the sofa. She walked over to him, “Draco…” She
shook him awake.

“Hmm?”

“We need to talk.”

She needs to complain.

“What’s wrong?”

“I know you said you wanted to wait…but it’s been two months…” She sat on the couch next to him.

“It’s fine Gin. If you want to have a baby now, I’m all for it.”

She smiled eyes wide, “You mean it?” He nodded, “Oh my god that’s great! Because I just took a pregnancy test and it
came out positive!”

“You sneaky little witch.”

“You know it.” She kissed him on the cheek, “But let’s not get our hopes up, I think we should see a doctor to make
sure.”

“Okay…do you want to go today?”

“Can we really!?” He nodded again, “Great! I’ll be ready in a minute.”

I’ll be ready in a minute…she’s telling you to sit back and find something entertaining to do.

She grinned and clapped her hands, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She turned around and started to walk out the room
when she felt his eyes on her. She slowly turned back, “You were checking me out weren’t you?”

She smiled as he licked his lips and winked at her, making her giggle.

~*~

~*~One Year Later~*~

Ginny poked Draco on the back as he kissed down her cheekbone, “Are you listening to me?”

“Hmm.”

“You need to learn how to communicate!”

She wants you to agree with her.

“Alright Ginny, you can paint the room blue, just stop yelling.”

“I’m not yelling!” Draco pushed himself up and paused his kissing, raising an eyebrow.

She is yelling because she thinks it is important.

“Okay! Yes I am yelling because we need to talk about this!”

‘Thank God for Blaise and that book!’

“And we will…just…later.” He kissed her on the lips. She kissed back and her hands went around his neck.

“I told mum about us spending Christmas at The Burrow. She said it would be fine.”

He nodded and kissed his way down her neck, “Everyone’s going to be there and I expect you to get even Ron to receive a
gift from you.”

“Mhmm.” He hummed against slightly round stomach.

“Well…you’re certainly attentive tonight.”

She thinks sex is all you ever think about.

Draco smirked, “Well I can’t argue with that.”

“At least be romantic…turn out the lights, will you?”

If she wants the lights off during sex, she probably thinks she has flabby thighs.

“Gin…you look beautiful. And if you think you gained wait…it’s because you just had a baby, not but three months ago!”

She frowned, “I know…I’m just dying to get back into shape.”

“You are in shape. You just have the curves of a mother.” She smiled.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime, love.”

~*~

Ginny turned around and faced Draco in bed, “Was that the baby?”

She wants you to get out of bed and stay with your child until he/she goes to sleep.

He sat up and sighed, “Fine...fine…I’ll go put him back to sleep.”

She grinned as he stood up, “I love you.”

“Love you too.” He walked out his own room and into Ryan’s. He walked to the crib and picked him up, “Good morning to
you too.” He kissed the soft hair of his four month old. “Daddy loves you but…in all honesty…you have to stop waking him
up this morning. He still needs his beauty sleep.” Ryan made a soft gurgling noise.

Draco bounced the baby and walked to the rocking chair. He slowly rocked back and forth, “You know Ry…I’ll never
completely understand women. I used to think I was the…what would you call it? Well you could call me The Master in The
Art of Wooing.”

“But now that I know why they get angry…it just confuses me even more. I think I’ll put that book to some good use.”
Draco smiled when he looked down and saw his son was sleeping. Not wanting to part with him, or wake him up he slowly
walked back to his room and placed Ryan on his stomach between he and Ginny. Ginny, though sleeping, moved closer to
Ryan and Draco put an around the two. “I love you.” He whispered before joining his family in a peaceful slumber.

~*~

Christmas at The Burrow was exciting though Ginny was upset that Draco had not given Ron a present…but what Ginny didn’t
know…wouldn’t hurt her…right?

Draco made his way towards Ron, “Hey…” Ron glared at him.

“I bought you a present…and you didn’t give me anything in return. I am appalled.” He joked.

“That’s the meaning of Christmas you dolt.” Draco smirked, “but I did get you something.” He reached a hand in his robe
pocket, “you can’t tell Gin or any of the girls for that matter.”

Ron nodded and took his present, slowly unwrapping it. He looked at the title of the book, “Translating the Language of
Women for Men.?” He opened it up and skim read.

Draco grinned as their wives walked over. “Ronnie! We need to go into Hogsemeade to buy some new soap dishes…that’s
all.” Luna said, taking Ginny’s advice.

‘Now where have I heard that before?’ Draco patted Ron on the back, “Good luck to you with that!”

~*~ Fin ~*~

This was a…spur of the moment kind of fic! Sorry if it’s confusing or seems rushed! I hope you liked it and please do
review! Tell me what you think…I’m working on another D/G One Shot at the moment also!

*Betta-Ing Outtakes*

And he did pay…he had to sleep on the couch…again.

Poor Draco, he can sleep with me! ^^ lol. Sorry, couldn’t reisit

Woah…shh don’t tell I told you but she’s and under cover kind of freak ;) Heh, kidding! Gwenia, I love ya!

http://kendal.bloodymongrel.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=109

That’s where I got the idea for this fic at! It just lists all of the things for translations! I used those to make a
story. I’m not sure who posted that because they said it was moved…but if by chance you’re reading this, thanks! Also
check out this new fanfiction site! www.fictionised.net It’s new and more people should join! The lay outs nice! I like
it! Well what are you waiting for? Review!! Happy MLK JR Day! Oh the Remember the Titans movie is on! I love this!

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