My Last Breath
by seleene_paris

Rating: PG
Ship: Harry & Hermione
Canon: Books 1 - 6
Genre: Romance
Status: Complete
Length: 3,706 words in 1 chapter
Published: 9 Aug 2005
Last updated: 9 Aug 2005

In response to the challenge on Portkey and inspired by the song "My Last Breath" by Evanescence, a near death
experience Puts certain things into perspective.

From the Unofficial Portkey Archive: https://portkey-archive.org/story/4916/

------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. All Parts

"My Last Breath”

by S'Eleene Paris <seleene_paris@yahoo.com>

rated: PG (but may go up to PG-13 later.)

Pairing: Harry Potter/Hermione Granger

spoilers: books 1-6

synopsis: 

In response to the challenge on 

Portkey and inspired by the song "My Last

Breath" by Evanescence, a near death experience

Puts certain things into perspective. This is

A one shot fluff…I’m good at that…so why change

Now???

Disclaimer: 

J.K. Rowling owns all lefts, rights,

and eye lashes belonging to the Harry Potter 

series. I don't , but it is fun to mess around

with the characters isn't it? I also don’t own

the song “My Last Breath” or Evanescence. If 

I did, I hardly doubt I would be writing on the

Net. 

Author’s Notes:

For those of you still waiting for the sequel to

Harry Potter and the Girl Who Lived (Harry

Potter and the Onyx Spellbook.) I just wanted to

Give you some FYI. I have recruited some help to

Get the story flowing faster because I have

So much going on right now with my computer being

A pain and I am having to other peps to post even

This tiny bit. He’s debuting, so be nice. He’s 

Also a very big fan of the story, so I am inclined

To think it will be great.

“I’m strange, maybe even crazy, but there is never

a dull moment.”-(The t-shirt I bought at Target that

I am wearing as I post this.)

               *****

“Hold on to me love







You know I can’t stay long







All I wanted to say was







I love you and I’m not afraid







Can you hear me? 







Can you feel me in your arms







Holding my last breath? 







Safe inside myself







Are all my thoughts of you







Sweet rapture and life,







It ends here tonight.







I’ll miss the winter







A world of fragile things







Look for me in the white forest







Hiding in a hollow tree







I know you hear me,







I can taste it in your tears.







Holding my last breath







Safe inside myself







Are all my thoughts of you.







Sweet rapture and life,







It ends here tonight.







Closing your eyes







You pray your dreams will leave you here,







But still you wake and know the truth -







No one’s there.







Say goodnight, don’t be afraid







Calling me, holding me, as you fade to black.







(say goodnight) holding my last breath







(don’t be afraid) safe inside myself







(holding me) are my thoughts of you







Sweet rapture and life,







It ends here tonight.”

“My Last Breath” By Evanescence

                        *****

               Part One

Thunder crashed and the lightning slashed the green tinted ebony sky in two.

Rain pounded on the backs of four individuals as the wind whipped it across 

the country side. It was three against one and the three were having 

the same amount to trouble conquering as the one.

A black haired boy, no man, with green almond shaped eyes dodged 

yet another curse gracefully as one could. Harry sent his own spell 

toward his enemy after he heard his friend moan as the spell meant for him 

grazed his abdomen, knocking the wind out of him. Harry's head whipped 

around to check on his best friend and immediately Hermione was at 

Ron's side checking on his wounds. Ronald Weasley waved his 

hand at his friend to tell him he was going to be okay. 

When Harry's attention went back to the task at hand, he barley had enough 

time to dodge the next spell heading toward them. "Stand still boy and 

accept your fate!" Voldermort declared as the spell missed him and he grew 

irritated.

"I don't think so, Riddle. I think its your fate rather to die at my hands

instead." Harry sent a non-verbal spell in the Dark Lord's direction.

"There are some things after all that are much worse than death."

"Such as finding out you was the cause of your friends' death." the evil

 wizard smiled and a shiver went down Harry's spine. As a flash of lighting

 struck near by,  the wizard lifted his wand and flicked the Killing curse at the

where Hermione was taking care  of Ron’s wounds. From where Harry

stood he was certain she took the brunt of the hit. 

“Hermione!” Harry’s color drained as he literally had to stop himself  from

running over there to check on her condition. “Ron’s over there, he’ll take 

care of her for now. Right now you have to get rid of this guy once and

for all.”

“Don’t worry, Harry. She’ll be with your mudblood mother soon.” Voldermort

taunted. 

“No!” Harry raged as he pointed his want at the wizard. The laughter from 

Voldermort’s face drained. Determination filled Harry’s eyes as he quoted the

Dark wizard, but instead of the green light emitting from his wand the light

 Whizzed from behind.  Looking behind him at Ron and almost wanted to 

laugh, the spell the evil wizard had cast had ricocheted off something after 

killing Hermione. The dark Lord had been finally defeated by his own curse. 

The spell had hit the target and with out another word, the man who was 

once Tom Riddle fell limply on to the ground, dead.  Since he only had 

1/7 of his soul left after putting the rest of it in several miscellaneous items

and hid them around the world. It was only after Harry, Ron, and Hermione

had found them and destroyed them that  they were able to take the man

down. 

With out missing a beat, Harry raced over to were Hermione lay with her

Hair in the mud due to the rain. “Hermione.” Harry breathed as tears 

Formed in the corner of his eye. Harry gathered the witch’s lifeless

Body in his arms. “No! This can’t be! It’s not fair!”

As Harry rocked back and forth with the body of his friend, the tears he

Was trying to hold back fell down his cheeks and on to the lips of his

Best female friend.  “Harry. She’s gone.” Ron offered, trying to console

Him. “Do you think she would want you to be like this?”

“Go away and let me be!” Harry screamed hysterically as he 

continued to rock back and forth with her body.

“Harry, we have to take her body back to the castle so they can

inform her parents of what happened.” Ron tried to think logically,

which would have normally fell into Hermione’s responsibility, but

considering her recent death Ron felt to urge to try to fill the void

she had left for the both of them. 

“You’re right.” Harry said, distantly as he stood up and carried her

body back to the apperation point. The duo misted off and reappeared

just outside the castle’s grounds. Harry said nothing as he carried 

Hermione’s body up the castle steps and through the heavy wooden

Doors. 

“Here, Harry. Let me help you carry her.” Ron offered as he stepped

up the staircase before of the Great hall.

“No.” Harry stated plainly as they made their way down the corridors 

and arrived at the hospital wing. Ron opened the doors silently and

allowed Harry and the body to make their way through first.

At the sound of the doors swinging open, Madame Pomfrey looked up 

from where she was administering a calming draft to a fifth year. Obviously,

the girl  was stressing out from her O.W.L. examinations. The duo noticed 

the limp body in Harry’s arms and Madame Pomfrey rushed over to meet

them by the bed where Harry had laid her. “What happened?”

“She was killed by Voldermort.” Harry was blunt, but Madame Pomfrey

had a different opinion. She waved her wand over the former Hogwarts 

student as various currently enrolled students gasped at the use of the 

dark lord’s name. As the head of the medical wing waved her wand, 

various physical statistics could be read in a blue mist.

With out another word, the nurse ran to her office, grabbing various 

potions and administrating them. “What’s going on?” Harry asked

the question that was plaguing both Harry and Ron. “What are you

doing to her?”

As the witch continued to administer the treatments for the young

woman’s condition, she commented her personal thoughts

as to why the girl was in her current state. “I don’t know why, but

for some reason this girl survived. I take it that he-who-must-not-

be-named used the killing curse on her. By this reason she should

be very well dead, but I am registering brain activity, a very slow

heartbeat, and some breathing. I am going to try to stabilize her then 

send her to Saint Mungo’s. The will have the better facilities to deal 

with her condition there. Hopefully with some time they will be able

to revive her.

“But Madame Pomfrey, why isn’t she dead?” Ron asked as he claimed

the empty chair next to the bed.

The witch looked up briefly and gave them her honest medical opinion. 

“I don’t know, but the only other person who was able to survive the 

Killing curse is sitting right there.” She pointed at Harry with a gesture 

Of her head. “Now, if you will excuse me there is a lot to be done

Before I can send her to Saint Mungo’s. While I am doing this, why

Don’t you go and inform Professor McGonagall of her condition.”

With that, the duo were ushered out of the door by a very put out

Medically trained witch.

                                              *****

                                          Part Two

In Hermione’s world, everything went completely dark then went white

The only thing that wasn’t was a red headed form walking toward her. 

She wore a white wizard robes and she said nothing to her as Hermione

Walked closer. Hermione felt like she knew her, or at least her almond 

Shaped green eyes. It was at that moment, Hermione realized who this

Woman actually was. “Lily Potter?”

Lily smiled at the girl and continued to say nothing to the young woman

As she tucked a few strands of her long fire red hair behind her ear. At

This, Hermione began to grow irritated at the lack of response.

“Am I dead?” Hermione asked, hoping for some verbal communication

with her best friend’s mother. 

The older woman only shook her head. Hermione was beginning to wonder

If the spirit could talk at all. When the spirit finally did, Hermione was greeted

By an almost musical tone. “You’re mind is between states and its not 

Allowing your spirit to leave until it gets the answers you still seek. I was sent

To guide you to those answers your mind is trying to figure out.”

“You were sent. So there is a God.” Hermione asked and Lily only nodded her

response.  “How did I get here?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Harry, Ron and I finding the last of the horcruxes. The rest of it is kind of 

jumbled up or blank.” Hermione nervously picked at the skin around her

nails. 

Lily nodded and waved her hand to show her of what happened. The mists

 on the ground parted and the previous occurrences played before their 

 eyes.  “By all means you should be dead, but with the combination of your

unfinished business and the protection I placed over my son allowed you to

choose if you want to go back or not.”

Hermione looked at Lily as if she were crazy and had grown a second head.

“Of course I want to go back. Has being dead made you insane as well?”

“If you do go back you are in for a really rough life.” Lily informed her. “After

your body awakes from  your coma you physically won’t be able to be the 

same as you were before let alone emotionally.  Although I really can say 

from personal testimony of you’d be crazy and not to come with me to the

 afterlife.”

“What kind of problems are we talking about?”

“You’ll find out if you return, but for now, let me show you this.” Lily waved

her hand again and the mist closed and parted once more to be able to 

see the scene below.

“What’s going on?” Hermione asked as she took interest in the scene below. 

“When did this happen?”

“Actually this is what is going on now.”  Lily admitted pointing to the scene

below.  Hermione was horror stricken at the sight of her best male friend.

It had looked the boy had not slept, eaten, or groomed in several days. 

“Harry.” Hermione breathed as she noted the dark circles under his eyes. 

“How long have I been out?”

“About a couple of months.” Lily responded sadly. “Your body is in Saint

Mungo’s currently. Madame Pomfrey knew she didn’t have the facilities

To try to revive you at Hogwarts. If it hadn’t been for Molly and the rest of

The Weasleys, he probably wouldn’t have done anything other than sit 

There and waste away.”

Hermione sighed. “He would do that to himself wouldn’t he?”

“Not just for anyone, though.” Lily offered. “You are really special to him.”

“Of course I am special to him. I’m one of his best friends.”

Lily almost wanted to laugh at the young woman’s ignorance. “I don’t

Think he sees you just as a friend my dear. If he’s got anything of me

Inside of him he wouldn’t, anyway.”

“You mean he…”

The older woman smiled and nodded. “Perhaps.”

Hermione blushed. “Since when?”

“Sometime around third year is when the signs started showing

themselves. Sirius mentioned something about it when he came

and James made a bet on it. Its nice to know that everything is

the same old, same old with them.”

Hermione giggled. “That sounds like something Sirius would do.”

The young woman then turned silent for a moment as if she was

Trying to decide something. 

Lily watched the girl and knew what she was thinking. “You want

To go back?”

Hermione only nodded. “Even if it means I won’t be the same.”

Lily smiled. “That is what I thought you would say.”

“So how do I get back?” 

“Leave all that to me.” Lily answered as she stuck out

her hand. Gradually, the room grew darker and Hermione

closed her eyes knowing the next thing she would see

when she opened them would be Harry’s eyes.

                               *****

                         Part Three

The alarm clock buzzed and Harry James Potter unenthusiastically

Slapped the clock to shut it off. He sat there on the edge of his 

Bed in the dark his hands folded and his eyes closed. Praying had

Become a morning ritual as much had brushing his teeth. He had

Only asked for one thing for the past two months and that was for

Hermione to come back to him. 

The street light filtered through the window as Harry stood up and 

Went to his bathroom in his apartment to shower for his sift at 

Hermione’s bedside. He had been ordered away from her in 

The first place from Molly who had informed him under no uncertain

Terms he needed to at least sleep. 

Once in the bathroom, Harry noticed the dark circles under his eyes

And the bags that once hung there had begun to disappear, but even

With the sleep he was finally had been getting had done nothing for 

His appetite.  Hermione’s medi witch had ordered him to eat something

And to leave Hermione’s bedside to do so. 

Harry’s gaze went to his shower and decided he needed to at least

Shower.  (Shaving at this point had become an option.) Once he had

Stripped and turned on the shower, he stepped into his shower and 

Allowed the hot droplets of water to halfheartedly to sprinkle down 

Upon him.  He leaned his head against the wall with the shower

Spout and then he hit the wall with his fist. Harry ignored the pain

In his wand hand as he washed then toweled off. As He stepped 

Out of the bathroom, Harry heard the door to his apartment he

Shared with Ron and Hermione and knew someone had returned. 

Quickly Harry went to his bedroom and changed. He heard a knock 

On his door. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

After he finished dressing, he went to his door and opened it. Ron’s

Tall gangly form was behind the door. “Hey.” Ron greeted.  “How

Are you doing?”

Harry just shrugged, “I’m alright I suppose.”

“You going to the hospital tonight then?”

Harry nodded.

“Look mate, I know Hermione wouldn’t want you to stop living your

life now that she’s gone…” Ron knew when he said this, he said

the wrong thing. 

“SHE’S NOT DEAD, RON!” Harry shouted.

“I know, I know, but still she wouldn’t want you to stop living your

life because hers stopped for a moment.” Ron added quickly.

“Would you want her to stop living if you were like this?”

Harry was silent for a few moments before he responded. 

“Probably not.”

“So why don’t you and me go out with Luna and Ginny. They

were wanting to go and visit that new muggle club down the

street.”

Harry contemplated it for a moment. “Not to night. Maybe 

Tomorrow.  There are a few things I want to talk to her 

Medi witch about first.”

“Like pulling her feeding tube?” Ron sighed.  The medi

witch had suggested some muggle remedies for her 

lack of nutritional intake. Like most wizards, Ron thought

the idea of force feeding someone through a tube was

almost laughable. 

“No. I couldn’t do that.” Harry sighed. “There are some other

things  I read about that I thought we could try.”

Ron sighed. “Harry, look. I’ve already discussed some of 

What you told me last night with her. Madame Farr said there

Is nothing she really can do and we would have to wait. See

If she comes around naturally.”

Harry sighed. This news was definitely not something he

Wanted to hear. “You guys go ahead and go without me. 

I need to be with her.  I don’t want her to be alone one way

Or another.”

“Alright.” Ron agreed then he looked at his watch for the

time. “I’d better go and get changed. You want me to pick

something up for you to eat later?”

“I’ll get something on the way.” 

“You sure?”

“Positive.”  Harry said as he watched his best friend walk

 out of the room. As soon as Ron left, Harry grabbed his 

coat and his wand. He went to the fireplace and took some 

floo powder and flooed to the hospital. 

When he made it safely to the hospital, he made his way

Up to the spell damage floor where he checked in with the

Witch on duty.  “Back again, Mister Potter?” she asked.

“Hello to you too, Becca.  How is your family?”

“Fine. My aunt Melissa and uncle Paul finally tied the knot.

 It was really a beautiful ceremony.”

“I’m sure it was. How are your grandparents doing?”

“Better.” Becca stood up and guided Harry down the 

hallway to Hermione’s room. “You know the routine.”

Harry nodded and entered the room and noticed Tonks

Reclined on the seat next to Hermione’s bed and Lupin

In the chair across from her. He stood quietly and noticed

The two of them didn’t notice his entrance let alone full

Knowing their hands was interlocked.  They said nothing

To one another and they just stared into each other’s eyes.

Harry cleared his throat and the two broke apart. “Hiya,

Harry.”

“Wotcher Harry.” Tonks smiled. 

“Sleep well?” Lupin asked. 

“Not really.”  Harry ran a hand through his already messy

black hair.  “Why don’t you guys take a break. I wanted to

talk to her.”

“Okay Harry. “ Tonks stood up and Lupin joined her on the

 outside of the room. 

Harry claimed the chair Tonks now vacated and took her

Hand in his. Hermione moaned and Harry sighed. She

Moaned a couple of times before. Nothing exciting like

It had been for the first few times. Harry smiled down at

Her. “Hey. I’m back.”

She said nothing, obviously, but moaned again.  Harry

Continued. “I do hope you wake up soon. I really need 

You around. The doctor says the more you stay under

The more its more likely you’ll never wake up.  So I need

You to wake up, okay?”

As Harry leaned down to kiss her, Hermione’s eyes opened

Slightly.  “Harry?” she called.

“Hermione! You’re awake.” Harry pulled away. “Stay awake, 

okay?” 

Harry ran out the door to the nurse’s station and collected the

Medi witch and doctor. The trio ran back to the room and Harry

Was glad to find Hermione still awake. The doctor and the medi

Witch shooed Harry outside the room while they ran several series

Of test of the young witch.  By the time the doctor and nurse 

Returned from the room, Harry had flooed the Weasleys, Lupin, 

Tonks, and the rest of the Order back to the hospital.

“She’s going to be okay.” They announced to the group and everyone

who had collected outside the room  went inside to see her. Harry hung

outside of the room to discuss her condition in full detail. 

“So she’s going to be fine?”

“Well, not exactly. She’s going to have a few problems but it’s rather

expected considering what spell she just survived.” The doctor 

explained. 

“What kind of problems?” Harry asked as the nurse walked away. 

“She isn’t going to die is she?”

“Well, no, not for another 50 years unless she does something like

what she did to put her in here the first place again. What ever

spell had protecting her from that spell took a lot of magic out of

her.  She may or may not be able to perform magic ever again.”

Harry stood there, head bowed. “Well, considering the options, I 

Think she would rather live. How long until we will know for sure?”

“I’d say give it a few months, but for now just take things one day

at a time.” The doctor patted Harry on the shoulder. “Good luck.”

Harry turned around and went into Hermione’s hospital room. She

Was now sitting up in her bed and talking to the group. Once 

Hermione caught sight of him she smiled at him.  “Hi.”

“Hi.” Harry answered back. 

Ron didn’t miss a beat and motioned for everyone to leave.  “Hey,

I have to get going. Work and all tomorrow. We’ll be playing against the

Irish team. You coming Ginny? Luna?”

“Yeah. Come on Ginny.” Luna grabbed her arm and the rest of the 

group soon followed. “Good night, Harry.”

“Night.” Harry said over his shoulder. Once everyone in the

room left, the two of them fell silent. Harry sat down on the

chair next to her bed and retook one of her hands. “How are

you feeling?”

“Tired” Hermione almost laughed. “How are you?”

“I’m pretty exhausted too.” Harry offered. “Why don’t I let

you sleep and we can discuss things in the morning.”

“Sounds good.” Hermione smiled as she closed her eyes, but

while she snuggled with her pillow. Harry smiled at her, but before

he could cut off the lights, Hermione said. “I love you, Harry.”

Harry almost wanted to laugh. “I love you too, ‘Mione.” He whispered

Back as he shut of the light as he exited the room. 

                                              *****

End for now. I couldn’t decide where I wanted to end this, so I thought

This would be a great place to.  
