Closet truths
by ardelis_fari

Rating: PG13
Ship: Harry & Hermione
Canon: Books 1 - 5
Genre: Humor, Romance
Status: In progress
Length: 939 words in 1 chapter
Published: 10 Dec 2005
Last updated: 10 Dec 2005

Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Luna and Neville are all hiding inside the closet in Snape’s classroom, trying to overhear
his plans of sabotaging the upcoming mission of the Order of the Phoenix. Just a humoristic take on very serious events.
R&R!

From the Unofficial Portkey Archive: https://portkey-archive.org/story/5487/

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1. Closet Truths

Closet truths

Author: Ardelis_fari

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers
including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is
being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Classification: Humour/Romance

Pairing: H/Hr

Rating: PG-13

Author’s notes: This is just something I wrote on a spur of the moment, and it’s probably not that well thought through.
But I hope you will enjoy it anyway. R&R! And I really am working on The coparceners! The next chapter will be up soon,
I promise!

Summary: [one-shot] Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Luna and Neville are all hiding inside the closet in Snape’s classroom,
trying to overhear his plans of sabotaging the upcoming mission of the Order of the Phoenix. Just a humoristic take on
very serious events.

~~~~

“Budge up, you lot,” Ron hissed.

“Hey, you are standing on the hem of my robes, you dolt!” Ginny grouched.

“Just shut up, you two!” Harry muttered discontentedly. “He might come in any moment now.”

Silence resumed inside the stuffy closet, sometimes interrupted by groans and angry whispers. Neville, who never
excelled at Potions, was curiously looking through Snape’s supplies of venoms and antidotes. Ginny was critically
observing her coral nail varnish. Luna was staring intently at a spot right above Neville’s head.

The boy gulped nervously. “I hope there are no Nargles there,” he whispered, his voice trembling.

“I don’t know,” Luna shook her head. “They usually don’t come out this time of year.”

“Oh, come on,” Ginny snorted, tearing her gaze away from her nails. “There is no such thing as Nargles. They are just a
figment of Luna’s imagination.”

Luna shrugged. Neville looked very relieved and went back to studying the inscriptions on vials and bottles on the
shelf.

“Is he coming yet?” Hermione asked hopefully.

“Nope,” Harry replied, trying to see anything though a keyhole.

“Great, we’ll miss dinner. I’m starving! I bet they have treacle pudding for desert,” Ron complained and everyone could
hear his stomach rumbling.

“All you think about is food!” Ginny huffed, trying to find a comfortable position on the floor of the closet.

“That’s nice,” Luna chimed in, “boys who eat a lot get sturdy and very fanciable. I like that.”

Now a very awkward silence reigned in the closet. Though it was relatively dark, everyone avoided looking at one
another. Ginny was trying to stifle her giggles by means of burying her face in the black mass of Neville’s school
robes. As usually, Luna seemed unperturbed and completely unembarrassed by her own words. Ron on the other hand felt his
colour rising and was extremely grateful for the darkness that enveloped them.

“Hush! I think I can hear something!” Harry whispered suddenly.

Everyone moved slightly forward to see what was going on.

“But I can’t see anything! Let me see!” Neville whined.

“You are buying me new robes, Ron!” Ginny gave her brother a push. “Start saving up!”

“Stop arguing you two!” Hermione reprimanded them. “And Neville, you are pouring that dodgy liquid down my shirt!”

Neville saw that he had indeed upset one of the bottles with vile green potion in it. He was unsuccessfully trying to
reverse the damage done to Hermione’s shirt, but instead pushed a few more bottles off the shelf. The commotion was
going on for a few minutes, where everyone was trying to help, poking each other in the dark and eliciting curses and
squeals. Then everything became quiet again. Ginny hummed a catchy tune she had heard on the Wireless the night before
and everyone else just sat there, waiting patiently for Snape to finally grace the classroom with his presence.

“Harry, why is your hand on Hermione’s thigh?” Luna asked serenely.

Harry jerked his hand away, blushing to the tips of his ears. He somehow managed to leave his hand on Hermione’s leg
when he was trying to help her with her shirt, together with the others. She didn’t object and even slightly encouraged
him by moving closer to him. They were both enjoying that intimate moment, their hearts palpitating, wishing they were
alone in that closet. A number of possibilities of what they could be doing raced through Harry’s mind as his hand moved
up Hermione’s leg. Hermione closed her eyes, willing herself not to moan out loud for the pleasure Harry was causing
her, when Luna so rudely interrupted their idyll.

“My both hands are in my pockets, Luna. You are delirious,” Harry said in a thick voice.

“Oh, I could swear that I saw your hand move up Hermione’s leg,” she murmured. “Or was it Ginny’s leg?”

“You are touching Ginny?!” Hermione screeched.

“I’m not touching her!” Harry replied hotly.

“Somebody please light a wand!” Ron muttered angrily.

“We can’t light a wand,” Neville said nervously. “Snape will see us. He’ll hex us.”

“I’ll hex Harry first!” Ron barked. “What does he think he’s doing groping my sister?!”

“Don’t be daft, Ron!” Harry hissed.

“Oh, shut up you lot! No one is touching me!” Ginny grunted. “I wish! This whole thing is so boring! I’m out of here!”

She made an attempt to get to her feet, but Neville and Hermione tugged at her robes from both sides.

“No! Stay here,” Hermione ordered. “Snape’s going to come soon!”

“Oh, to hell with Snape!” Ginny grumbled. “What’s he going to do to me anyway?”

“Let’s see, Miss Weasley,” said a cold voice above their heads. “How about a detention first?”
