The Hell I Will!
by gphoenix51

Rating: PG13
Ship: Harry & Hermione
Canon: Books 1 - 4
Genre: Drama, Humor
Status: Complete
Length: 9,752 words in 1 chapter
Published: 6 Oct 2009
Last updated: 6 Oct 2009

What if? What if Harry had more contact with Sirius after his escape? What if Harry and Hermione made a new friend at
the World Cup? What if the Goblet of Fire scene played out differently?

From the Unofficial Portkey Archive: https://portkey-archive.org/story/8536/

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1. The Hell I Will!

Title: The Hell I Will!

Author: gphoenix51

Author E-Mail: gphoenix51@gmail.com

Category: Action/Romance/Humor

Rated: PG-13 for Violence and Naughty Language…lots of Naughty Language

Pairing: Primary - Harry/Hermione

Spoilers: Books 1-4

Warnings: Ron and Dumbledore Bashing

Disclaimer: All copyrighted products, movies, music, TV shows, comics, books, and any other Brand Names are the
properties of their specific companies. All Harry Potter characters and places belong to JK Rowling. All original work
and characters in this story are copyrighted by me, gphoenix51© 2008-2009.

Summary: What if? What if Harry had more contact with Sirius after his escape? What if Harry and Hermione made a new
friend at the World Cup? What if the Goblet of Fire scene played out differently?

“Harry Potter?!” Dumbledore said, giving his best attempt at sounding shocked.

The entire Great Hall sat in stunned silence for a solid ten seconds. Then, the silence was broken by a whizzing sound
cutting thorough the air, followed by a shockingly loud crash, making most of the hall jump in surprise.

“Harry Potter!” Dumbledore said again, louder this time. He couldn't see The Weapon through the throngs of people
surrounding its normal place at the Gryffindor table. He'd planned so carefully for this moment. 3 years of politicking
and maneuvering to get the Tri-Wizard re-instated. 2 years of building The Weapon's image up, since its first test
against Quirrelmort and the Stone. He inwardly smirked at that, the thought that people actually believed he took a
broom to London because he was eccentric. “The fools, I got all the way to the Hogs Head and sat out the hours in
Aberforth's backroom with a bottle of Ogden's finest and Abe's best goat…Ah, Billie.”

Dumbledore sighed. Unknown to the rest of the world, it was actually Albus, not Aberforth, who had been caught with the
goat those decades ago. A few quick and powerful charms fixed that and got everyone thinking his brother was the
deviant. After all, who would believe that the “Leader of the Light” would be philandering with a goat? And it served to
get Albus' troublesome brother out of the way and forgotten; so much so that people thought Albus was an only child.

“Enough reminiscing, where is The Weapon?” Albus thought. He wondered why The Weapon didn't stand and accept the “honor”
it had been “given”. One that would hopefully culminate in the resurrection of Lord Voldemort and the eventual
prophesized defeat at The Weapon's hands, that Albus would take all the credit for of course. All of it happening
according to his plans. That The Weapon had to be destroyed in the battle was insignificant, it would have served its
purpose after all. If it survived, it would be obsolete, and Albus would take the appropriate steps to put it away.

The suggestion he had implanted in Pettigrew before the end of term last year seemed to have taken. He was to find his
old master and do whatever it took to resurrect him. Crouch Jr. was impersonating Moody, who was safely locked away in
his own trunk. Crouch's own implanted suggestion had culminated in this moment, when The Weapon had become the Fourth
Champion. It had taken almost a solid year of planning to get to this stage. People constantly needed to be “fixed” so
they wouldn't buck so much. McGonagall was the most troublesome; she vehemently refused to help in anything that might
get any of her Lion Cubs in danger.

One would think that her actions at sending The Weapon and its friends into the forest in first year might be a huge
black mark on that record, unless they knew that it was another of Dumbledore's implants. The Weapon's cool attitude
toward her for the rest of the year had greatly confused the older woman, who couldn't remember sending her “cubs” into
the forest with only a Half-Giant and a crossbow to defend them against something that was strong enough, fast enough,
and evil enough to have murdered several unicorns. But, it was for the Greater Good (Dumbledore shivered a bit at just
the thought of his favorite phrase), that The Weapon be exposed to its target that night “Who knows, it could have
fulfilled its purpose that night, though that's highly unlikely.”

Just as it was again for the Greater Good (“Oooh, I love that.”) that The Weapon be further tested in this Tournament.
If all went according to plan, the entire school would turn against The Weapon, tempering it in the fires of adversity.
Even better would be if it's best friends would leave it, further driving The Weapon into Dumbledore's benevolent
influence. Albus was certain the Weasley boy would, his all encompassing jealousy and seething rage at the money and
fame The Weapon had would almost certainly guarantee a break in their relationship. Dumbledore was surprised that he
didn't even have to create these feelings of hate towards The Weapon. Not to say Albus didn't adjust the redhead at all,
in fact it took several compulsion charms and bribes to keep them together, so Weasley could hold The Weapon back.
Showing it, by example, that “proper” Wizarding boys didn't seek out information or attempt to better themselves by
trying too hard. He also kept The Weapon down by continually beating it in chess and gloating over it, further breaking
its spirit down. And of course, Weasley's mental defenses were so non existent, to even mention them as defenses were an
insult. As such, Albus was always able to read his mind and find out what The Weapon was up to.

The Granger Mudblood, on the other hand, was much harder to influence. She had the most powerful, and natural, mental
defenses Albus had ever encountered, even better than The Weasley Twins' shields. Every single compulsion charm,
implanted suggestion, even the Imperious Curse itself, was deflected quickly and easily, like water off a duck's
feathers. Even Dumbledore had to give credit to the young Mudblood, her mind was impenetrable, and it probably was what
led her to have such an organized and highly efficient mind. He'd been toying with the idea of using potions to control
her, but hadn't wanted to take that step just yet. Potions, after all, were traceable, though Arthur never found the
ones Molly slipped him every day. “The fool, just like the rest of the sheep, they're all fools.”

Instead, Albus had tried another track, keep her separated from The Weapon and together with Weasley. He had already
begun this last year, by denying The Weapon the ability of going to Hogsmeade, when, as its magical guardian, Albus
could have given it permission. Though the damn thing had found another way of doing it. He didn't know for sure, but he
thought the Weasley Twins were behind part of it. Albus wished every day that he had never given that Invisibility Cloak
back to The Weapon, but the Wizarding Oath James made him swear forced him to. Hopefully this year, they'd be separated
by what would be happening in a few seconds. And next year, he planned to force Minerva to award the Prefect positions
to Weasley and the Mudblood, further separating her from Weapon. But if The Weapon didn't move in the next moment or so,
Albus would have to go get it.

The Headmaster's lightspeed thoughts were interrupted by a loud THUMP that echoed throughout the hall. It rattled the
dishes on the Gryffindor table, and Dumbledore thought he saw some of the neighboring Ravenclaw dishes move as well.

THUMP!

THUMP!

THUMP!

THUMP!

And then…

“I DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS BULLSHIT!”

Scandalized gasps reached his ears from around the hall, but Harry didn't give a tinker's damn. Granted, he did care
about the gasp that came inches from his right ear, and figured he'd get a right chewing out by Hermione later for
cursing so loudly in public. His best friend didn't much care if he did it in private, though she did get disapproving
looks on her face if he did it all the time. She seemed to think that curse words should be reserved for the appropriate
moment. Harry had simply asked her when exactly the appropriate moment was for the phrase “Holy Fucking Moses!” Hermione
had just glowered, but he'd caught the small smile on her face as she turned away.

When he had seen the fourth slip of paper fly out of the cup, he just knew it had his stupid name on it. He had
unconsciously prepared for his reaction by getting a good grip on his plate. When his name was announced, Harry flung
the plate like a Frisbee across the room, and then slammed his head into the table, several times, hard. If ever there
was a time for a “colorful metaphor” as Luna put it, this was it.

God forbid he have a normal freaking year in this nuthouse. Sirius might have been an escaped criminal, but he still had
anonymous contacts he could trust, along with Remus. They had said that the Old Man had been campaigning for three
years, ever since Harry arrived at Hogwarts, for the Tri-Wizard Tournament to be held at Hogwarts. He hadn't believed
Sirius or Remus when they said that, but considering his last three years at Hogwarts, he'd probably get put in the
Tournament somehow. Frankly, he just wanted them to be wrong, but deep down; he couldn't look past the evidence.
Especially when his Godfather and Uncle brought to light their observations. But what really hammered it home was
Hermione. She'd told him of the few times she'd been called into the Headmaster's office, only to get pounding
headaches. That had scared him greatly and pissed off the Marauders. She'd been scared into several nightmares when they
had told her that headaches were the most common side effect of pushing away a mental probe or spell. Sirius had then
proved it by, first asking permission, and then hammering at her with a full powered Legilimens attack. Hermione got a
headache, and Sirius was knocked out for a solid day.

That had solidified it for Harry, the Old Man wanted something from him, and wasn't above mind raping his friends to get
it.

After that revelation, the four of them, later five at the inclusion of Luna, had taken steps to protect themselves and
each other, should the worst happen.

But quite frankly, if it wasn't for Hermione, Luna, Neville, the Weasley Twins, and the chance to taunt Snivellus and
The Ferret with his mere presence, he'd take up Sirius on his offer of hiring the best private tutors money could buy
and ditch Hogwarts for a white sandy beach and crystal clear blue oceans as far as the eye could see. Something that
Harry himself had never seen before last summer. Which was quite pathetic, considering he lived on a damn island. His
lovely “caretakers” had seen to that. Hell, the only times he had been “allowed” to leave the house when he wasn't going
to primary school or being a pack animal, had all been Hogwarts related.

But, he knew he couldn't leave his friends. They were the only ones he had and he'd do anything to keep them. Even
having to hang around Weasley, something that he'd been forced to do since First Year. Harry had quickly realized that
Ron was basically a taller, thinner, red-haired version of his cousin Dudley, right down to the massive amounts of food
they both put away. Harry shuddered; for one horrifying moment, he'd wondered what would happen if someone locked the
two of them into a room with no wands and only one mountain of food between them. “A Bloodbath most likely. Be funny as
hell though.” Harry snorted.

Harry's “friendship” with Weasley had been falling apart almost since it begun. First, he'd eaten most of the candy
Harry himself had bought during that first train ride. Yes, he had said he'd share it, but that didn't mean ripping a
chocolate frog out of his hands just because it was the last one. Or insulting everyone who came near them. He was just
thankful that Hermione was made of tougher stuff than that, was stubborn as hell to boot, and never stopped trying to be
his friend. The only reason Ron hung around is because he never got the hint that Harry and Hermione didn't want him
there, but weren't rude enough to say it directly to his face, even though that would probably be the only way it would
sink in.

Oh Hell, who was he kidding? The real reason Harry wouldn't leave Hogwarts was because he'd be leaving Hermione alone,
unable to help or protect her. And if he knew his genius best friend, and he knew her very well, she was currently
staring at him with a horrified expression in her chocolate brown eyes and her hands over her mouth. Catching her face
out of the corner of his eye, he saw that his mental image was spot on. Granted, this wasn't the best situation, but
seeing a shocked look on his best friend's face was almost as satisfying as being the one who put it there. Hermione
just knew so damn much that it was nearly impossible to truly shock her.

Harry smiled, the last time he'd seen Hermione this stupefied, they had just met their newest friend, Luna Celeste
Lovegood, at the Quidditch World Cup. Luna had been talking about a Crumple Horned Snorkack and, while Harry had been
listening attentively, Hermione had refused to believe they were real. She said it was, “Just rubbish that is printed in
that rag, The Quibbler”. After that, a truly and completely horrifying uncomfortable moment of embarrassment, that even
the rocks felt, occurred when it was revealed that Luna's father was the publisher and head writer of said magazine.

Luna, to her credit, didn't do any of the things that Harry expected she would. She didn't get mad, scream or even cry
at being insulted so thoroughly. She just turned her luminous blue-grey eyes on Hermione and told her in a serene voice
that she shouldn't be so close minded, and should take a few things on faith once in a while, or her life would be
dreadfully dull. And then had skipped off back to her father's tent like nothing happened. Harry had been stunned into
stupidity for a full minute, before he turned on his best friend and started berating her for being…well, for being such
a bitch to someone they didn't know and had only just met. He had confronted her and asked her how she'd feel if someone
came up to her and told her that everything she believed in was not only wrong, but rubbish too. After a five minute
argument, Hermione had finally agreed to go with him to apologize to Luna. They ended up having to ask Ginny where
Luna's tent was. Well, Hermione actually asked, because every time Harry spoke to Ginny, she'd squeak, blush and run
away. It had been cute the first time, sad the second, and just plain annoying since then.

Finally getting directions, Harry marched his best friend over to apologize. Finding Luna's tent hadn't been difficult,
and now knowing what he knew about her, he wasn't surprised at all when he finally saw it. Turns out, the Lovegood tent
was one of those that had been driving the Ministry Obliviators up the wall the entire day. It was a lurid purple and
silver contraption, covered in stars and every phase of the moon that flashed occasionally. It even had its own weather
vane that seemed to have a mind of its own and its own fully functional chimney stack. Luna had been sitting peacefully
painting in the “living room” of the tent. After a few false starts, Hermione begin apologizing to Luna for her remarks.
Luna herself looked startled for a few moments, before politely listening to the bushy haired one.

Harry had been off to the side, discretely looking around at the only other Magical Tent he'd ever been in. He had just
finished inspecting what looked like an empty cage and was about to give the kitchen a once over. Being a chef himself,
though not by choice (but he decided to piss his relatives off by enjoying it), he was interested in kitchens. How were
they designed and what equipment did they hold? Especially magical ones, he was really interested in how Magicals
cooked. But he was never allowed near the Weasley Kitchen; Mrs. Weasley was like a sitting mother dragon protecting her
domain.

And that's when he saw the cage move. It looked empty, yet when he gave it his full attention, it moved again. There was
something in it, and he couldn't see what it was.

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“Luna?” Harry asked, a distinct note of panic in his voice.

“Yes Harry?” The odd blonde replied, a knowing smile on her face when she saw what he was looking at.

“W-W-What's in that cage?”

“Harry, there's nothing in the cage. It's clearly empty.” Hermione said. Harry simply cocked his eyebrow and turned to
look at his best friend. He loved her to bits, but damn if she didn't annoy the hell out of him sometimes. “Fucking
Lockhart!” he snarled in remembrance.

Fixing a light glare at her and firing up the sarcasm to Full Snark, he said, “Mione, I just saw that “empty” cage move,
all by itself. Now unless it's one of those new fangled “wobbles all by itself” cages, or one of you is moving it with
an “invisible” wand, or someone who is “invisible” is in here doing it, then logic dictates that there is something in
that cage.” Turning his head, he gave Luna a wry grin. “Luna? Want to enlighten your new friends on what that might be?”

He expected an answer, an explanation on what the mystery was, or even a riddle about what it could be, Luna did that
sometimes. What he got was a shocked look and a rather scared sounding, “Friend? You…you want to be my…friends?”

A little concerned now, then recognizing what he himself had gone through during his First Year, he gave Luna a full
smile, one full of conviction and truth. “Yes Luna, I think you are a very interesting person, and I'd be honored to be
your friend.”

A bright smile met his declaration, and after Hermione said she'd also like to be Luna's friend, her smile increased so
much in its wattage, Harry was wondering if he'd need sunglasses soon. No sooner had he thought this, Luna had pulled
two pairs of sunglasses out of her jumper pocket. They looked for all the world to be 3-D glasses, but in solid
horn-rimmed frames, instead of those flimsy paper ones he'd seen Dudley playing with, before Vernon took it away and
screamed something about freakishness. “Honestly, after a while, all those “Freak Rants” start to sound the same.”

“Here, put these on and look at the cage.” Their blonde friend said happily. Slipping his own glasses off and putting
the 3-D ones on, Harry froze at the sight that greeted him. The creature was about the size of a rabbit, which was
appropriate because it looked like a larger version of a plain, ordinary field rabbit. Except this one had…what looked
like…electric blue fur. It blinked slowly at them from the cage, before hopping away to its bowl and began eating,
wholly unconcerned with the world perception it had just vaporized by simply existing.

“W-What…what the hell is that, Luna?!” Hermione gasped, one of the few times Harry had heard her curse when she wasn't
pissed off (usually at Ron for some reason, or Draco, for just being there). Harry, on the other hand, had a pretty damn
good idea what it was. “I mean, it's got a crumpled horn growing out of its forehead, the hell else could it be?” Harry
thought with a grin.

“That, my dear Hermione, is a Crumple Horned Snorkack. I named her Mina.” Luna said happily. Looking at her, Harry saw
she was fairly bouncing off the walls in her joy at finally being able to share something with her new friends.

Smirking enough to give Sirius fits, Harry turned to his shell shocked best friend and said, “Well Mione? What do you
think? That proof enough?”

It took the bushy haired genius a good ten minutes to finally re-boot her brain.

After that, Luna was buried in Hurricane Granger, but took it all in stride. Hermione was desperate to find out all she
could about Mina the Snorkack and how they had found her and everything else she could learn. Apparently, her mythical
creature database was woefully empty, and their new friend was only too happy to fill it. And she really wanted to know
if Mina was as soft as she looked, (she was softer). For the next few hours, Luna had told them all about Mina, her
father's expeditions and other creatures that The Quibbler reported on. Most of them were real; they simply couldn't be
seen outside of the proper circumstances. And because those circumstances were so odd, most people dismissed it
outright.

To Hermione, she had an entirely new facet of the Magical World revealed to her that she knew almost nothing about, and
that was definitely unacceptable. Her world views expanded greatly that day, and she was made the better for it. It had
awakened new possibilities and made her change her outlook on several things. To Harry, it was simply confirming
something he had long ago come to realize about the Magical World.

Never Dismiss the Impossible.

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That day had been one of the best in his opinion, and the days that followed were even better. Luna lived only a few
minutes walk from the Burrow, and she entertained her new friends in her home almost every single day. Luna had quickly
become one of Harry and Hermione's best friends, easily surpassing Ron and his angry, tiresome prejudices, particularly
the one about associating with people in other Houses. Ron thought you shouldn't talk to anyone outside of Gryffindor
House, which might explain why the Houses were so at odds with each other. The redhead simply stuck to them like glue
and never got the hint that Harry and Hermione had outgrown him.

“I can just imagine what being chosen for the Tri-Wizard is gonna do though, maybe one good thing will come of this.”
Harry thought, before pushing it away. Concentrating on his good memories of befriending Luna, Harry suddenly stood up.

“Ah, Harry, could you join your fellow champions please?” Dumbledore said, that maddening twinkle in his eye was visible
from all the way across the room.

Harry gave the room a quick look. Most of the room was in a state of shock, though that was quickly turning to anger.
Looking down to his left, Harry saw his “best mate” quickly on the way to a patented Ronald Weasley Meltdown. The tips
of his ears had gone past the color red and were somewhere beyond it, his face was a nasty shade of puce and Chudley
Cannon Orange. How exactly he managed those two shades, Harry had no idea.

To his right, his best friend Hermione was sporting that “Just Pantsed” look. A mixture of outrage, shock and fear. But
locking her eyes on Harry, she hardened her resolve and nodded at him, telling him that they'd beat this like every
other challenge they came across. Harry bounced his left eyebrow, which confused the bushy haired one, until he tilted
his head and smiled. Message received: Find Luna and get to the RoR. Harry thanked his Godfather Padfoot and Uncle Moony
for telling him about that wonderful room. Taking a deep breath, Harry walked to the center of the room, passing Luna on
the way and giving her the same message as she grabbed his wrist and squeezed it in support of him.

Squaring his shoulders, Harry charged forward, “No Headmaster, I don't think I will. Because I have absolutely no desire
whatsoever to compete in this insanity.”

Another shocked gasp echoed through the large hall, Harry could hear a flapping coming from the large Owl windows.
Without looking, he could feel his Familiar flying in and land on Hermione's shoulder. Hedwig was there to support her
Familiar and rain Hell upon those who would try to harm him.

“What do you mean Weap-Harry?” Dumbledore said, hoping no one caught his slip. It happened occasionally, considering the
fact that Albus didn't consider Harry Potter to be a human being; it was simply something someone had named his Weapon.
He didn't see a pair of chocolate brown eyes narrow in rage, nor the blue-grey eyes and large amber ones that matched
it.

“What I mean, Headmaster, is I will not compete in this farce, particularly since I did not enter my name and have no
desire to die for a tin cup and a sack of pocket change.” Harry said, staring into Dumbledore's eyes. He was just
waiting for him to make the mistake of trying to read his mind.

“Harry, your name came out of the Goblet of Fire. That constitutes a legally biding magical contract, you have no
choice. Entered on purpose or not, you must compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament.” Dumbledore said in his patented
grandfatherly voice.

“The Hell I Will!” Harry snarled. “I did not enter, that is not my signature and I will not compete!”

“I'm afraid this is your signature Harry.”

“Of course it is, and the fact that we are in a school where every single one of us signs our names on parchment,
several times a day, means nothing I take it?” Harry said. The looks around the hall told him that they only heard the
first words and ignored the rest of what he said. “Fucking Bastards.”

“I knew you were gonna do it Potter!” Ron Weasley screamed, startling Hermione and unseating Hedwig. “I knew the second
it was announced that you were gonna sneak your way into the tournament and cheat your way to more glory! Glory that
should be MINE!” Ron's face was now an unhealthy shade of dark red, most of the blood vessels in his head were probably
exploding.

“Eternal Glory huh? I'll tell you what Ron; name me a former winner of the Tri-Wizard Tournament.” Harry said to the
fuming redhead. He could tell his words hadn't penetrated his tree thick skull.

“Can't think of one? Oh, that's right, unless it's Quidditch, food, or chess, you have no idea what I'm talking about,
do you?” Harry turned to the rest of the room.

“Hermione, Luna, don't answer, I want to see how “eternal” the glory of winning this death trap is. So how about the
rest of you? Can anyone name me a former winner of the Tri-Wizard?” Harry looked around and saw a sea of dumbfounded
faces. Or ones of mounting anger, as shown on Dumbledore, Crouch and Moody's faces. Snape didn't count, anytime he
looked at Harry, it was always with unadulterated hatred.

“Wow, eternity sure as hell didn't last very long, did it? So, we've established that the “Eternal Glory” isn't worth a
damn, how about the pocket change?” Harry took a deep breath; he hated talking about how much money he had with
strangers.

“Every pureblood in this room, and most of the halfbloods, knows that the Potter Family is very old and extremely
wealthy. Unlike some poncey ferrety gits I could name, I do not go about flaunting it in people's faces. I have not
bought the entire Gryff team Firebolts, though I easily could. I don't dress in the most expensive of clothes, wear
precious jewels or anything else. Personally, I don't care about the money. I'm glad my parents were able to leave me
something, and I swear I will live up to the Potter Legacy and not squander my birthright, but a thousand galleons is a
pittance to me, especially when my life is on the line. I neither need nor want to risk my life for such a paltry sum.”
Harry would have continued, but was interrupted from the cheap seats again.

“Don't give me that bullshit, Potter!” Ron screamed “You've flaunted your money every time we go to Diagon Alley, or
Hogsmeade or any other time! Even the World cup! You bought whatever you wanted, without even giving a thought to me and
how I can't! You've even tried to give my family money several times, for accepting your unworthy halfblood ass in our
pureblood home!” Ron bellowed, rattling the silverware. Hermione was covering her ears, but Harry could see the tears
slipping from her eyes, and it made Harry angrier. Realizing your “best mate” is really a world-class asshole is shock
enough. Having it thrown in your face in front of 400 students was hurtful and humiliating.

“That's because, until this moment, I considered your family, my family Ronald. Some of them, I still consider family.”
Harry said, nodding at the Twins, who shot him a thumbs up each, saucy winks and sloppy kisses. Harry grinned ruefully,
“Christ, nothing can get those two down.”

Ron, of course, took it completely the wrong way.

“Stop laughing at me, Potter! I hate you! I've always hated you and that Mudblood whore!”

Ron quickly turned raised his hand, aiming to backhand Hermione in the face. Her eyes widening, she didn't even try to
get her wand out. Harry's snapped into his hand, a spell already on the tip of it. Stunner, Cutter or Reductor, he
didn't care. No one tried to hurt Hermione! But before he could get there, Ron violently pitched forward, smashing into
the golden plate. The shattering of glass almost covered up the crunch of his nose as it broke and began to
spectacularly bleed all over the table.

And behind him, her wand tip smoking from the amount of shear power she forced through it, stood Luna Lovegood. A look
of unbridled fury on her face, one that Harry thought looked both hauntingly beautiful and absolutely wrong at the same
time. Luna should never be forced to wear that look of anger. Making the normally happy go lucky Luna sad or angry
should be a capital offense. Moving quickly, Luna moved across the gap to comfort Hermione, wrapping her arms around her
and whispering soothing words to the weeping witch. The brown eyed young woman couldn't believe her former “best friend”
just called her a Mudblood whore, and then tried to hit her. And she was angry at herself for freezing up. Hugging Luna
back, Hermione openly cried into her soft neck.

Recovering from their shock, the Twins quickly bound and silenced their brother, before stopping the blood flow. After
all, if he died from blood loss, it would mean a great deal of paperwork for them all.

“Thank you Luna.” Harry said grimly, she nodded back, sending him a look he couldn't identify with her unusually dark
blue-grey eyes. He turned back to Dumbledore, seeing that the Headmaster wasn't about to do anything to punish Ron for
his attempted strike at Hermione, though McGonagall's lips had virtually disappeared and her nostrils were flaring in
anger. If Harry cared more, he'd feel sorry for Gryffindor and the massive amount of points they were about to lose.
Instead, he simply wanted to finish this insanity and either go back to the RoR or finally quit this cesspool of bigotry
and hate.

“Now that the entertainment is over, young Harry. Go and join the rest of your fellow champions.” Dumbledore said
sternly. He was quite tired of this trial.

“You don't seem to understand the Queen's English, Dumbledore. Perhaps if I spoke Parseltongue?” After many months of
practice, he could finally control the Snake Language and use it at any time. He figured it would come in handy one day.
Of course, what Sirius had said when he learned Harry could speak it also had its merits. “You realize snakes don't have
ears, right? They can only hear vibrations! A vibrating tongue?! It'll drive the witches crazy!”

Unbidden, an image of Hermione on a soft bed, obviously nude but wearing a strategically placed sheet, beckoning him to
her embrace, filled his mind. Smiling at the image, he pushed it away for later contemplation.

§“I will not compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Kingmaker.”§ Harry hissed. The entire hall flinched, except for two
people. Hermione Granger and Fleur Delacour. They shivered, and strangely enough, both witches had the same thought. “I
wish he'd use that tongue on me.”

“Enough Harry, you have been chosen by the Goblet of Fire. You are under magical contract to compete.” Dumbledore
started, but Harry broke in.

“Actually, I'm not. No such contract exists.”

Dumbledore gulped, but blustered on “I assure you it does. Your name came out of the Goblet, and that constitutes a
legally binding magical contract, no matter your age.” Again, Dumbledore was interrupted.

“No, I'm not. At no time did I ever sign a piece of paper or parchment with the intention of entering the tournament
with it. Magic, I've learned, is all about intent. Shame that's not taught here, you know, in this school. According to
the Goblins, who are the undisputed Masters of magical contracts, and you'd have to be to have a monopoly on the entire
worldwide Magical Banking System; a Magical Contract is only activated when the person who signs it intends for it to be
legal and binding. As in, they have to have at least the basic knowledge of what they are signing and what it means.
That way, no one can be tricked into signing their lives away by not knowing what it was they were “agreeing” to.
Otherwise,” here Harry smiled “All someone would have had to do was send Voldemort a disguised magical contract that
stated he would stop all his murdering, raping and thieving, or else sacrifice his magical core. Poof, no more Lord
Voldemort.” The flinching was really starting to annoy.

“And since the Goblet is a Master-made Goblin Artifact, it would certainly be subject to those laws. I learned all of
this during the summer when I claimed my Lordship over House Potter.” Harry smirked at Dumbledore, who'd gone pasty
white, and then shuddered visibly as Harry held up his hand so the Headmaster could see the Head of House Ring.

“A signed parchment in your name came out of the Goblet Harry, meaning you must have entered your name somehow, or at
least got someone to do it for you. You must compete, you were chosen!” Dumbledore pushed, sweating now. “Damn Black!
He's the one responsible for this! If those Dementors had just done what they were told and Kissed the bastard, none of
this would have happened! Why do people not understand all of this is for the Greater Good?! Everything I've ever done
is for the Greater Good! I AM THE GREATER GOOD!” Albus raged.

“I don't think I will, and I'll prove that I had nothing to do with this.” Squaring his shoulders, Harry lifted his wand
into the air.

“I, Harry James Potter, Lord of the House of Potter, Do hereby swear on my Magic and my Life that I did NOT enter my
name, or ask anyone else to enter my name, into the Goblet of Fire for consideration in the Tri-Wizard Tournament. So I
Swear, So mote it Be!" A burst of white light flared from his wand tip, sealing the magical vow.

Harry nodded in satisfaction as he finished. Looking around, he saw that several people were startled by the fact that
he didn't just drop dead. And apparently, Ron was one of those. Harry guessed the Twins woke him back up to see the vow,
not that it did any good. Ron's eyes burned with hate and still said that Harry somehow had cheated his way into the
tournament. Something that, in his mind, should have rightfully belonged to him.

“I don't know about the other champions, but I'd be rather concerned at how and why a name came out of the goblet that
has just been proven, beyond doubt or suspicion, to not have been entered willingly. And I would wonder greatly at what
would happen to anyone who might stand in the way of the person who tried to break the rules and traditions of the
Tournament.” Harry said, looking at the other champions. He was heartened that Cedric and Professor Sprout were nodding.
Fleur and Madame Maxime were nodding as well, though Fleur was still staring at Harry with some unidentifiable look in
her eyes. Krum was just glowering, as was the former Death Eater, Igor Karkaroff.

Unnoticed by Harry, two other witnesses were also nodding, planning to relate all of this to their relatives and
hopefully start an investigation. Susan Bones' Aunt Amelia was the Head of the DMLE and would certainly want to know how
and why someone tampered with an ancient magical artifact. Neville Longbottom's Gran, Augusta Longbottom was on the
Board of Education at Hogwarts, having replaced Lucius Malfoy at the end of his Second Year. She'd be very interested as
well.

“Enough of this Harry! I am you're magical guardian, along with every other Mud…Muggle Born or Muggle Raised in the
Castle. And I'm telling you that you must compete!” Dumbledore raged. His legendary control was slipping; he'd never had
anyone stand up to him the way this glorified penknife was.

Several of the aforementioned Muggle Raised in the castle were stunned. They had no idea that the Headmaster was their
Magical guardian, and his reactions were certainly not garnering him any respect in that area. Many were terrified at
what he could or would force them to do.

“No you aren't, Old Man, and you know it.” Harry glowered. The entire hall gasped again. No one had ever heard someone
treat Dumbledore with such disrespect before. “I am the Head of my House, as well as the Heir Presumptive of House
Black. Therefore, I am emancipated, free and clear of all guardians and controls. Did you really think the old laws
wouldn't have accounted for that? That it would have been made so easy to control the underage House Lord, by simply
being made their guardian? I know that there are several heirs of Great and Noble houses sitting around me,” Here Harry
looked at the gathered students again. “How do all of you feel? Knowing that the Headmaster would try to push you around
and control you, even if you were the Head of your House?”

Most looked scared, quite a few, Draco Malfoy in particular, looked pissed off. How dare a mere Headmaster, let alone
anyone, attempt to control a Head of House?!

“But you're right about one thing, Dumbles.” Harry said, and ignoring the disrespect, Dumbledore looked hopeful. Harry
smiled evilly, “Enough is enough. I've had enough of you, this school, your pet Snivellus, and all of your manipulations
and controls. I've had enough of you trying to control my friends' minds, and letting your pet run rampant over the
castle, terrorizing and bullying all who have the misfortune of being in the git's class.” While Snape stood to his feet
and bellowed at Harry, he shot his friends a desperate message. Both of the girls, still huddling on the Gryffindor
bench, recognized what he was trying to say without words. They nodded back, grim but determined, and Harry could have
wept with relief.

“Quiet Snivellus, I'm not finished yet.” Harry said, and surprisingly, Snape fell silent. Of course, it might have had
something to do with the double silencing and body binds sent at him from Professors McGonagall and Flitwick. Harry's
eyebrow quirked, but he sent them both a quick nod of thanks.

“It's a sad state of affairs when a student is forced to leave their school because of the machinations of one crazy old
tyrant. So, with that in mind, I'm taking my leave of this dump, in hopes that one day, when your influence is scoured
from the stones of this once respected castle, that Hogwarts will, once again, be the best school in the world. But it
won't be, so long as you still live, Old Man.” Harry stood tall, snapped his heels together with a sharp click and
turned. He made it only three steps before the rage filled voice of Albus Dumbledore stopped him.

“You walk out that door, Harry Potter, and your friends will suffer for your mistake! They will be expelled, their wands
will be destroyed, their magic will be bound, their memories forcibly wiped of any knowledge of the Wizarding World!”
Dumbledore yelled, pointing his wand at the students in question. The Hall gasped, and several people went pale.

“You'd never get that past the Board of Governors, Dumbledore.” Harry snarled.

“Why shouldn't I? All of them but Longbottom are in my pocket! They'll do whatever I tell them, along with everyone else
in this school!” Dumbledore's control had finally snapped. “The shear audacity of The Weapon! To talk to me that way!”
The hall's gasps had been noticed by Dumbledore, but he wasn't worried. “One wave of the Elder Wand, and they'll all be
put back into their worshipful follower state of mind. Like they should be. And the ones that don't, like that Mudblood
and those freak Twins, they'll just have to have a few…accidents.” Dumbledore smiled darkly.

“Perhaps, but I know something you don't, Dumbles.” Harry said, smirking now.

“Oh, and what's that, Weapon?!” Dumbledore said, finally showing his true feelings about Harry Potter. To his credit,
The Weapon didn't move or flinch, it just smirked wider.

“That Luna's standing right behind you…HIT IT!” Harry yelled.

Dumbledore whipped around, his ancient body moving faster than it should, but still wasn't fast enough to get a bead on
Luna, who had been moving before Dumbledore even spoke.

“Expelliarmus!”

Dumbledore's wand flew through the air, to land in the dainty hand of one Luna Celeste Lovegood.

And just like that, The Elder Wand had a new master.

She'd been moving around behind the Old Man since he threatened her and Hermione with the Elder Wand. She'd recognized
it from stories her father had told her about the Deathly Hallows. After seeing Harry's invisibility cloak and learning
its story as Harry knew it, Luna figured that he had the Cloak of True Invisibility. No other cloak had ever lasted for
generations like Harry's had. She knew that there was only one chance to get Dumbledore's “Unbeatable” wand away from
him. And after the threats, she took the chance.

“Nooo!” Dumbledore yelled, and in his anger, he made his second mistake. He spun round, tearing his backup wand from his
pocket and stared into the Killing Curse emerald green orbs of one Harry James Potter, and made the fatal error of
trying to rip into his thoughts.

“Legilimens!” Dumbledore screamed

Harry smiled as he felt the tendrils of Dumbledore's Legilimency probe hit his outer shields…and trip his offensive
wards.

The old man's twinkling blue eyes froze in shock, and then rolled up in his head as a fount of blood began pouring from
his nose and ears. Falling to his knees, Dumbledore managed one last gasp before collapsing into a bloody puddle on the
stone floor of the Great Hall.

Epilogue

Hermione sighed as she finished rubbing the tanning potion into her lightly browned skin. The sun was high, bright and
baking. Thankful for Sirius' private island and their elf friends to help them, they had everything they needed here.
Speaking of which…

“Winky.” Hermione said softly.

With a soft pop, Winky appeared near the foot of Hermione's beach lounger.

“Yes Mistress Mione?” Winky said happily. Hermione smiled at the nickname.

“Could you refill our pitcher of lemonade please?”

“Of course Mistress, Winky will be right back.” And in less than a few seconds, she was.

“Thank you Winky. Are you sure you don't want to catch some sun with Luna and me?” Hermione said hopefully. She might
have gotten over S.P.E.W. idea, but she still insisted that their Elves be treated well. All three teens had been
working to get the elves more relaxed around them, but it was still slow going. It would take a while to break the years
of indoctrination their little friends had suffered.

“Oh, no thank you Mistress. Winky still has much to do in our quarters.” The little elf said.

“How are you and Dobby settling in?” Luna asked from the beach chair under a huge neon green umbrella. She preferred
less sun than her best friend did.

“Just fine, Mistress Elle. Thank you for asking.” Winky nodded. Luna and Hermione were happy at how the two elves
language skills had improved, having a formal education now instead of picking the language up from their former
masters.

“Has Dobby asked you to be his mate yet?” Luna said, and smirked at the green blush that broke out on the little elf's
face.

“Not yet Mistress Elle, but he seems interested.”

“He is interested Winky, I've seen the way he looks at you.” Hermione said. “Just like how Harry looks at me.” She
thought, and sighed in pleasure that she'd found her Soulmate.

“I hope he does ask me.” Said Winky shyly.

“If he doesn't, you could just ask him.” Luna chirped

“Oh no, Mistress Elle, I couldn't! It wouldn't be proper!” Winky said, mortified.

Luna smirked and winked at Hermione. “Sometimes Winky, boys need to be given a push in the right direction. They're
silly that way sometimes.”

Winky blushed again and nodded. “If I need to, I will Mistress. Do either of you need anything else?” The girls shook
their heads and Winky popped away.

“Silly that way, huh?” Hermione said wryly.

“Well, he was. Most boys would have jumped at the thought of having a pretty girl wanting to jump him. Not pass out the
way Harry did.” Luna said straight faced.

“Considering that I was the first girl, much less person, to say that I loved him, was Harry's reaction really that
surprising?” Hermione said, a mixture of humor and sadness coloring her voice.

“No, and I still say we should have killed those bastards.” Luna said darkly.

“This way, they'll suffer for longer. And I want them to suffer for years for what they did to Harry.” Hermione said
angrily. She wasn't angry at Luna, but the Dursleys.

After their explosive departure from Hogwarts, many truths came out in the aftermath. Dumbledore's manipulations, his
sentencing Harry to Durzkaban, sealing the Potter will, blocking Sirius' attempts at a real trial, ensuring he'd be out
of the way and not contest Dumbledore's self appointment to Harry's Magical Guardian.

Both Susan Bones and Neville Longbottom had gotten their letters out. The resulting joint DMLE and School Board
investigation unearthed a great many more things. Snape had been thrown in prison for his continuing Death Eater
activities that Dumbledore had covered up. His almost two decades of abuse towards any non-Slytherin didn't garner him
any support either. His failure as a potions Professor was laid bare, Dumbledore unable to protect him any longer. Many
former students and parents came forward, offering evidence against the hated professor, how they had been forced to
give up their dreams because they couldn't stand Snape any longer, or were purposely failed out of the N.E.W.T. classes.

The false Moody was also discovered, as well as the plan made by Dumbledore to infiltrate a Death Eater spy into
Hogwarts, masquerading as retired Master Auror Alastor Moody. Barty Crouch Jr. and Sr. were both sent to Azkaban with
life sentences.

Hogwarts itself got an overhaul. McGonagall had been made Headmistress. After the discovery of Dumbledore's journal,
that Fawkes had led them to, before disappearing, revealed his frequent mind adjustments of the older teacher. It had
taken a few months at St. Mungo's to fully repair the damage, but she was back in time for the new school year. Peeves
and Binns had both been exorcised. Binns was discovered to still be drawing a salary, one that had coincidentally been
deposited into Dumbledore's account. The Muggle Studies teacher had been fired, and Mrs. Figg had been hired in her
place. Being a Squib, and having lived in the Muggle World for years, she knew more than enough to make her a proper
teacher for the subject. With McGonagall in charge, Divination was permanently dropped as a subject, and Trelawney ended
up being the new Horoscope writer for the Daily Prophet.

Originally, Ron Weasley was going to receive suspension and detention for the rest of the year for his actions that
night. But after Dumbledore's journal was exposed, the rest of the youngest male Weasley's crimes came to light. Abuses
towards younger years in all the houses, as well as sexual abuse towards several females. Apparently, Ron was paying
more attention than anyone suspected to the Fake Moody's Unforgivables lesson. Chronicled in Dumbledore's journal were
several instances of Ron casting the Imperious Curse on younger girls. Thankfully his control of the spell was weak and
not much more than kissing and fondling occurred, but it was bad enough. Each instance was covered up by Dumbledore, and
Ron was forced to stay close to Harry to report on all his actions. Since he was a minor, Ron wasn't sent to Azkaban for
his crimes, but he was expelled from Hogwarts and had his magic permanently bound, to live out the rest of his life as a
Squib. Since his crimes were sexually deviant in nature, and many victims were daughters of prominent Wizengamot
members, Ron was magically castrated, effectively making him a eunuch. Never again to feel lust or sexual attraction to
anyone, and keeping other girls from suffering the same fate. The rest of his family wanted disowned him for the shame
and dishonour he brought on the Weasley Clan, but in the end, decided to keep custody of him, if only to spare some poor
Non-Magical family the shame of caring for Ronald Bilius Weasley.

As for Dumbledore, his mind rape attempt on Harry ran afoul of one of the lad's mental trip wires, triggering a ward
that acted only as violently as the attack itself was. Since Dumbledore wanted to rip Harry's mind to shreds, that's
exactly what happened to the Old Man, effectively turning him into a vegetable. He was currently in the care of his
brother, Aberforth, who managed to weather the storm of the huge backlash of Dumbledore's downfall.

Over 300 students offered testimony, under Veritaserum from those with parental consent, and locked in the Master
Manipulator's fate. Since he was in virtually the same state as a Dementor's Kiss victim was, Amelia Bones considered
the case closed, with reparations being made to several people from Dumbledore's immense coffers.

Fudge and his regime had fallen at the same time Voldemort had. The Goblins had drawn the Horcrux out of Harry's scar
into another container, and using it as a divining rod; they tracked down and destroyed all the remaining pieces of
Riddle's mangled soul. It would have been an enormous price tag for their services, had a Horcrux not been discovered
inside of one of their own vaults. The goblins saw this and Voldemort's break-in 3 years earlier as a personal offense
and declared war on the Death Eaters and their allies. The mutated Homunculus form was kept for study for as long as its
body would sustain it, safely in a ritual circle, until the soul piece was finally destroyed. Pettigrew was kept alive
long enough to turn evidence, and then was shoved through the Death Veil, along with every other marked Death Eater,
including Fudge and his Undersecretary, Delores Umbridge.

Thanks to Pettigrew being captured alive, Sirius was cleared of all charges and given a huge reparation in payment of
his lost years in Azkaban. With Harry's advice and support, Sirius started a chain of Magical Orphanages, to make sure
what happened to Riddle and Harry would never happen again. Though, he still managed to call them “The Marauder's Home”

The Dursleys were destroyed, financially and socially. Doomed to live out their days on the streets of London,
scratching out a marginal living. Harry considered that part of his life over, but his girls kept tabs on them. If they
ever stepped out of line, their bodies would be found in dumpsters the next day.

Sirius had fulfilled his promise to Harry and the girls. After their departure from Hogwarts, he hired some of the best
instructors in the world to teach the three students. Remus gladly lent a hand, and his expertise was invaluable.
Hermione and Luna's parents were only a permanent portkey or House Elf Jump away, which they took advantage of whenever
possible. After meeting with Sirius and learning of his plans, were only too glad to allow their daughters to receive
private instruction. Even if they had grumbled some at not being allowed to pay Sirius for it. So, in a paradise of Sun,
Sand and Blue Ocean as far as the eye could see, three young Magicals continued their educations, at their own pace to
boot.

“I wonder why Harry hasn't found us yet.” Hermione mused, completely changing the subject.

“Because I warded off this section of the beach from males. Not that I don't trust Harry, Remus and Dobby, but I
wouldn't trust Padfoot as far as I could throw him.” Luna said slyly, and Hermione had to agree. Not that she didn't
want Harry to see her in her current states of undress sometime soon; it just wasn't the right time yet.

“Besides, this way, we have our own place. I mean, I love Harry to bits, but there are times when a girl has to get away
for a while.” Luna finished, and Hermione nodded.

“Well, I'm through sunning, want to go help me find my wayward boyfriend, Luna?” Hermione said, standing and holding out
her hand to her friend. The blonde nodded happily and stood.

They dressed and found Harry trying to learn how to surf from Sirius. His balance and skill as Gryffindor's former star
Seeker helped, more than poor Remus anyway, who was continually falling in the ocean. The three of them were laughing so
hard, it would have been impossible to stand anyway, much less stay on a surfboard.

Hermione smiled, her heart lifting at the sight of her Soulmate having so much fun. And as her brown eyes met his
emerald ones, they knew what it was to be truly free, to be truly happy.

Author's Note - I thought this little one shot up when a friend on a message board set off a What If Challenge. I hope
that, though this premise has been done before, that it was still enjoyable to read.

Anyone who also has my FanFiction.net account saved, will notice a different version of this story posted there. I hope
it doesn't offend anyone, I just thought it would be nice for Harry to have as much support as possible, and I'm also a
Lunar Harmonian, alongside my Harmony roots. The other fic is Harry/Hermione/Luna.

To those people still waiting around for Torchwood; first let me say thanks that you are. Second, I am still working on
it, but with Real Life and my muse gone missing, plus these plot bunnies biting my ankles, I've been distracted. I
promise that it will be completed eventually, and I will post it when it's done.

Thanks and I hope you enjoyed this little one shot of mine.
