Separated

karenkate_kitty

Rating: G
Genres: Angst, Drama
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 09/09/2003
Last Updated: 09/09/2003
Status: completed

I wasn't really sure If you guys will appreciate this fic... Anyway this is done in Ron's POV and his reason why things didn't work out. Do check this out and tell me what you think. R/R

Chapters

1. Separated

1. Separated

Title: Separated

Author name: karenkate_kitty

Author email: karenkate_kitty@yahoo.com

Category: Drama

Subcategory: Angst

Summary: Ron's POV of his relationship with Hermione and why things didn't work out. R/R.

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey I love h/h a lot but this song fic seem to fit my story and Ron's the perfect character for it. Read and find out why. The song is really lovely, well, a bit sad but lovely…

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|* If love was a bird then we wouldn't have wings
If love was the sky, we'd be blue
If love was a choir, you and I could never sing
'Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar, you and I could never win
'Cause we could never act out our parts
If love is the bible then we are lost in sin
Because it's not in our hearts

(So) why don't you go your way and I'll go mine
Live your life and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well and I'll be fine
'Cause we're better of separated

If love was a fire then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport, we're not on the same team
And you and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean then we are just a stream
'Cause love isn't for me and you

(So) why don't you go your way and I'll go mine
Live your life and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well and I'll be fine
'Cause we're better of separated

Girl I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Girl you know I love you, I can't deny
Can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I

I know it hurts so much but it's best for us
Somewhere along this winding road we lost the trust
So I'll walk away so you don't have to see me cry
It's killing me so why don't you go

(So) why don't you go your way and I'll go mine
Live your life and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well and I'll be fine
'Cause we're better of separated

(So) why don't you go your way and I'll go mine
Live your life and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well and I'll be fine
'Cause we're better of separated

So much better of separated *|

-Separated/ Usher-

It's been a year since we separated ways. The same year we had graduated from Hogwarts. It was the same year Harry returned after he had defeated the Dark Lord, Voldemort. The same year when I realized that I was clinging to someone that never had been mine. I remembered those days as if it were yesterday. I never regretted what I did although it meant giving up that one person I loved so much but then again my sacrifice had made two of the most important people in my life happy.

In our seventh year at Hogwarts we had spent the first part of the school term helping Harry train as he was preparing to face the Dark Lord. Hermione and I were a long side him all the time. We were his friends, we we're his family. At that time Hermione and I were a couple, we have been for a year at that time. I finally had the courage to ask her after those years of hiding it inside me. That Halloween on our first year when she was almost killed by a troll because of me I couldn't stop thinking about her. At first it was guilt but she made me feel that it didn't matter then and that we were to be good friends and we had been ever since, we were the trio, Harry, Hermione and me, we were inseparable. They called as the dream team because of all our adventures together.

Harry had been my best friend and Hermione was too, and then I realized I was falling for her. I liked her since we were on our third year, we did fight a lot. I think if it weren't for Harry we wouldn't be friends because we just couldn't get a long. She was too smart. She knew everything and I hated the fact that she could answer almost everything you ask her. And the hate grew into love. I learned to appreciate what she was. But even before, I knew she cared for Harry a lot. She always spoke about him. She was always worried about him. There were times that I would actually go into an argument with her so she would focus some attention on me. Then she would run to him and he'll comfort her and he would tell her that we'd soon make up and we always did. Harry was our link but the truth is I wanted to establish something more than a friendly link with her.

Our forth year was the worst, when Viktor Krum entered the picture. It was bad enough that I had to compete with the attention she was showering Harry and now I had to give more attention to her than what Viktor had shown her. How was I to level with those well-known men to win her heart?

The summer after our fifth year made me realize how much I really loved her because Voldemort took her so Harry would come after her. The Dark Lord succeeded in luring him because of her but they were able to escape. I was badly injured then so I didn't get to help in rescuing her, good thing the order of the phoenix arrived and helped them. The same year I noticed how Harry had changed. I knew him to well and from what I was seeing from him I could say that he was falling for her too. I had to do something before it was too late. I know that if Harry asked her out she would openly oblige. It would have been easy for them to be together but then like I said I knew Harry to well. I knew that he already figured out I had feelings for her and if I made a move he would give way and as expected he did. I remembered that day when we told him. It was in the burrow when we told him our secret.

“Harry, we need to tell you something. We know we should have told you earlier but we didn't know how,” I said as I held Hermione's hand, they were soft and delicate. From the look on Harry's face I figured he already understood but we had to say it anyway. He had been awfully quiet.

“We…we've been dating Harry and we just wanted you to know,” Hermione said awkwardly. She couldn't look him straight in the face.

“I…I'm really happy for the both of you…” he said and he gave as tight hug before he left to go up to my room.

That day, I didn't know whether I was happy or if I was even proud of what I did. Hermione chose me or maybe she just didn't know her other choices. “I was the one gutsy enough to ask her out so I shouldn't feel guilty,” I tried to convince myself. When I got up to my room that night, Harry was already under the covers of the top bunk of my bed. He never slept covering his face before but I knew him to well, he was probably crying his heart out. It wasn't a sign of weakness; he in fact was man enough to shed tears.

My relationship with Hermione was really going well. At least I thought it was. Hermione had always told me that we shouldn't let Harry feel like the third wheel. We were still the three best friends. Our sixth year was spent like that. We didn't have that much time a lone, Hermione and me because she always made it a point to include Harry. It's not like I didn't want him there because he's my best friend after all, but the fact that I still see him as a threat to my relationship with Hermione had been tearing me up inside. He was my best friend and I was having doubts about his true feelings for her. Or a lot worst I feared the fact that she might still have those feelings for him that Harry never knew about. These things brought about many fights between Hermione and I.

I deliberately tried to push Harry into a relationship with Ginny my younger sister. I knew she had feelings for Harry and I tried many ways to get them together but it didn't work out. She ended up with Draco. I was against it at first but Harry talked sense into me. He told me that Draco has changed and that he wouldn't let anything harm my sister. I felt guilty back then, I tried so many times to get her with Harry knowing that it wouldn't really make her happy because I knew he didn't love her. I tried so hard to keep the relationship. Hermione had her own share of struggles also. Harry was there, watching by the sidelines telling us to work things out and that we shouldn't take our relationship for granted. It had been like that till our seventh year. Harry was busy training and Hermione and I were busy fighting. I was jealous and I showed it. I knew she was in the brink of telling him. He would face Voldemort soon and if it meant anything it was a wake up call for Hermione and for Harry. He had been fighting his urge to tell her and she was doing the same but I knew that they would both give in eventually.

The night before Harry left we had the talk. It was in the Gryffindor common room. It was Harry, Hermione and I. He wanted to talk to me first so Hermione left to get something from her dormitory.

“Ron, I have a confession to make,” he started. From the tone of his voice, with his stammering I already knew what was coming.

“I…I love Hermione and I know that by doing so I have betrayed your friendship,” He muttered as he looked down on his hands. From the looks of it, he really didn't want to say anything about what he felt for her but the thought of not being able to return gave him enough courage to confront me.

“Believe me Harry, I already know. I've known even before Hermione and I got together. And I don't blame you, even I fell for her remember,” I told him. I was acting stupid. I was trying to make things seem cool when in fact it was getting at me hard, straight in the face. “Harry, you could have told her so many times before when she went to you after we fight. Why didn't you tell her then?” I thought it was a stupid question because I already knew the answer but I wanted it to come from him.

“Because I know she would be safe with you. The fact that you're associated with me already put your lives in danger what more if they found out about my feelings for her,” he reasoned. “I know you'll take care of her. I know you love her as much I do and I couldn't betray the trust you have given me. No matter how much I love her, I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship we have.”

“I know Harry. I was selfish. I knew you loved her and she loved you,” he looked up to me bewildered. I guess what I said got his attention. “Yes, Harry. She loves you. I'm not blind. You think I was just jealous because I was insecure. I was jealous because no matter what I do, even if I'm the boyfriend and you're not the fact still remains that she cares for you so much and that she had always loved you even more that she could love me. I've been lying to myself thinking I could make her love me as much as she does for you. I know she's trying so hard to love me as much as I love her but it's too evident that even I could figure it out. And I don't hold it against the both of you, to fall in love with each other.”

“Ron I don't know what to say,” that's all he said. I couldn't make out what the look on his face meant. “Thank you for telling me.”

I didn't really know if I was happy with what I did but it surely made me feel like I have released a big secret that had been inside me for ages.

“Tell her Harry, before I change my mind,” there I said it. I went up to the stairs leading to the dormitory and I heard Hermione descending from the stairs.

“Where did Ron go?” she asked him. “Is there anything wrong? What happened?”

I was still by the stairs I hid myself so they wouldn't see me. But from where I was I could still hear them talk. I knew staying there would cause me a lot of pain. But I had to hear it. I had to face the truth eventually.

“He went up to go to bed. He said sorry he didn't say good night,” Harry told her. They were both in front of the big roaring fire at the Gryffindor Common Room. Harry and Hermione was head boy and head girl. They had their own rooms but they still like staying with the rest of the Gryffindor in the common room.

“Harry, I wanted to give you this,” I heard her say to him then she placed what seemed to me was a gold necklace with an emerald pendant. “I've been meaning to give it to you but I was afraid Ron might get…” she tried to say.

“I know he wouldn't like the idea,” Harry interrupted her. “Why do you want to give this to me?”

“I just had to. It was the present my mom gave my dad in their first anniversary. Dad gave it to me this year. He said I should give it to someone special, and I thought of you,” she said. She was looking at him intently. My heart was aching very furiously. It's like being stabbed over and over. I was hearing the truth and it made perfect sense.

“But I thought you loved Ron?” He asked her.

“I do. I love him, but not as much as I love you. I know what I'm doing now is wrong. I'm cheating on Ron by saying all this to you. By confessing to you that I have feelings for you when in fact I'm still with him,” she muttered under her sobs. “But I've tried so many times to forget about you. I had to remind myself that I'm Ron's girlfriend and that I shouldn't fall for you but it's too late. I had been in love with you even before I had realized it. You may think I'm miss know it all but I'm no good in matters of the heart.” She held his hands intently, “I want to ask you Harry before you go and face Voldemort. Tell, me if you never felt anything for me, tell me if I'm making a big fool out of myself by jeopardizing my relationship with Ron by telling you the things I've said?”

“The truth is…I love you too but I know that it just might not work. I don't even know if I'd ever come alive after facing Voldemort,” he answered. He was now looking at her with longing eyes. I couldn't believe myself, I was able to contain myself even after all the things that was unfolding just under my nose.

“I know this is wrong but I want to hold you and kiss you even for the last time. After I leave tomorrow, I don't know if I'll ever see you or Ron ever again,” He confessed. From the sound of his voice I knew that he was crying. The only times I saw him cry was when he got back from the Triwizard tournament when he had to face Voldemort and when Hermione was taken by the death-eater and now for the last time he longed to hold her in his arms. Something that he could have done before if only I hadn't got in the way.

I saw her come to him. She wrapped her arms around him. They were both crying. They stayed like that for what seemed to me, a whole hour. Then I saw them kiss. The most passionate kiss I've ever seen, Hermione and I never kissed that way. She never even let me touch her the way he was touching her that moment. They seemed to hunger for each other and it was killing me. I had to run to my room and hide behind the curtains of my four-poster bed. I told myself that tomorrow he would be gone and Hermione would be mine again. I thought that I was being a good friend to him by letting him be with her even for the last time, but then again she was never really mine, and tomorrow I might lose my best friend.

I couldn't sleep that night. I just couldn't, the sun was almost up when I had the urge to go down and see if Harry and Hermione were still fast asleep in the couch by the hearth. I saw Harry stroking her hair. Her head was on his shoulder and he was holding her.

“Ron…I” Harry said trying to stand up but he didn't want to wake Hermione up.

“Don't explain,” I said. “I understand.”

“I have to leave any moment now,” he told me. I could see the sadness in his face.

“Ron, please take care of her,” he said. “I'm sorry if I had to fall for your girl.”

“No Harry, she had always been yours,” I answered him. I knew deep down inside that it was the truth and I was through denying.

“Promise me Ron, if I don't come back, you'll take care of her. I know you love her.”

“Okay, but Harry if you come back to us, I'll step down so you can be together. That's the least I could do,” there I told him. I was uncertain about his return but I knew that if he did come back I would keep my word.

He didn't say anything. He got up and gently moved Hermione. He kissed her forehead for the last time then he gave me a hug. Then I saw him as he got out of the portrait hole.

It had been three months since he left. Remus and the others had been successful tracking down death-eaters. We on the other hand had no news as to Harry or Voldemort's whereabouts. I could see the gloom in Hermione's eyes when I looked at her. I never asked her about the night before Harry left. I knew it would just bring out memories. We both tried to move on. I promised Harry that I would take care of her while he's gone and with the looks of things at that time, there was no sign of him. I felt like I was living a lie. I knew she didn't love me but I had to be there for her. I thought maybe I was doing it because of our friendship.

When Harry left school I was appointed Captain of the Quidditch team and we played every game whole-heartedly for Harry. Draco was made head boy because he was Harry's deputy.

Three days before the N.E.W.TS, Dumbledore called for Hermione and me to meet him in his office. He said it was urgent.

When we got there Hermione and I were surprised with who we saw. It was Moody, Remus, and Tonks, and with them was Harry. He survived. He was after all the-boy-who-lived.

I just saw Hermione ran up to him and she flung her arms around him, just like what she did in our second year when she was finally unpetrified. Harry didn't want to tell us what happened with him and Voldemort but he was certain that the reign of Voldemort is over and that flesh or spirit there was nothing left of the Dark Lord.

Harry surprisingly took the N.E.W.TS with us. Hermione helped him study and he did fairly well, he got the highest grades next to Hermione. Draco didn't mind giving back the Head boy position to Harry. I was on the other hand had suffered from that inner struggle again.

The day of our graduation came. Harry and Hermione still weren't dating. I knew that it was all up to me now. I had to set her free. We had to move on our separate ways. I never told her why. I just told her that day when we rode the train back to kings cross that she was free that she can finally be with the person she truly loves.

When I got out of the train I didn't want to look back. I didn't want her to see me cry. I couldn't cry in front of her or Harry. I knew that the road a head of her was made for her to travel with someone else and that someone wasn't me, it's Harry.

That year had broken me and made me into the person that I am. Just today Hermione and Harry called me about their new baby. They're naming it after me, Ronald James Potter. They're both happy now and believe it or not I'm happy for them too. I made the right choice a year ago. And now I'm making another very important decision, I'm finally asking Luna Lovegood to marry me….

---The End---

Author's note: hmm…. Hope you'll like this one… please review… check out the my other stories if you have time…thanks… I'm still problematic but writing stories makes me feel a lot better.