The Castle

SilverMuse

Rating: G
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 11/09/2003
Last Updated: 11/09/2003
Status: completed

The Seventh years at Hogwarts are finally leaving to face the outside world. Harry doesn't want to go.

Chapters

1. The Castle

1. The Castle

The Castle

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this whatsoever.

Spoilers: Books 1-4.

Pairing (if any): H/Hr

Author's Notes: Another shot at showing the H/Hr relationship.

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Seven years ago I stood here, watching the evening clouds passing over the distant horizon, glimpsing at the castle from behind their setting sun. The castle, a safe house, a harbour in a sea of torrential storms and now…now we were leaving to carve our destines into a stone of creation.

And I don't want to go.

Hogwarts is my home; it's the only place I could call a loving home. When I'm here, I have no reason to be afraid of anything out there. I'm protected within these walls, surrounded by the stones that many great witches and wizards have walked upon, looked upon and schooled under.

The first glimpse of the stars is appearing in the blue canvas above stretching out over the castle. Seven years I have been standing here, watching out for the day it would all be stripped from me. This is day that I'd been guarding myself from.

“Are you still waiting?”

It's her again. She's stood in the dark shadows watching me watching the sunset. She walks forward revealing herself, showing me that she's not afraid of the outcome of it all. I know she's not afraid, I know that she has nothing to fear from what's arriving. She has a home, she has a family, and she has a future…she has a life paved out for her already. I'll have to forge my own.

“I've got nothing else to wait for,” I reply, turning back to the sunset and watching the sun slowly disappearing behind the orange hills.

She stands by my side, watching the sunset beside me, as if punctuating my point that I didn't have somewhere else to be.

“We finished dinner without you,” she says crossing her arms over her chest, shielding herself from the night's whipping wind. “Dumbledore wanted you to be there, Harry. The last dinner we'll have here.”

Dinner? Is dinner all I have to worry about? I'm going to be leaving the only home I've ever known. No celebratory dinner is going to make this situation any better.

I shrug, “I'm not all that hungry.”

“Oh,” she replies, still with her never-ending air of confidence hidden behind her gentle exterior. “Loss of appetite…not unusual in your situation.”

“I'm in a situation?” I throw back jokingly; running my hand through my wind whipped hair, sticking it up even more.

She laughs a little but the replies seriously, “You're leaving your home.”

And she knows. She knows exactly what I'm feeling or thinking all the time. Her eyes tell it all, all the nights she's watched me, studied me like I'm going to explode any second. “Yeah.”

“And I'm guessing you don't want to talk about it,” she concludes.

All I can do is shake my head. She knows what I'm thinking, every thought that runs through my head. I look over at her and know what I've known for years. The moon's bright and cascading gently over her small nose. Her eyes are bright, full of hope, and much brighter than mine will ever shine. Poetic nonsense has never been my strong point.

She smiles and bites her bottom lip. She knows I'm watching her. She knows what I'm feeling like she always has.

“Nice night, huh?” she asks looking up at the full moon bearing down upon the castle.

I nod in return and lean on the railing surrounding the tower. “Makes me wish I'd seen all this long ago.”

“I tried to show you,” she chuckles. “All the nights I've spent up here, watching the stars. I even dragged you up here, pointed out the constellations but you weren't bothered.”

It's my turn to laugh this time when I look at her again. “There's a lot of things I never noticed.”

“Go figure,” she replies with her happy smile. “So, what made you come up here tonight?”

I shrug, “Thought I owed it to the old castle, to see the sky from it's highest point.”

Just as we're talking, we can see the lights go on in Gryffindor tower. The other students are going into the common room for the last time. The lower years have already been sent home for the holidays while we have our last meal within the castle.

“Ron will be back now,” she says, wringing her hands together nervously. She thinks I'm still sore about their relationship. I am, but it's been a year now. It's awkward around the both of them…Ron more than Hermione. Hermione understands me, Ron doesn't. Simple.

“Go down to him,” I say, motioning to the door. “It's your last night in Hogwarts. Go. Celebrate.”

It's hurting to say the words. I know that she's going to go downstairs to him, to hold him, the kiss him, to do everything with him that she should be doing with me. I'm really not jealous though. I know Ron deserves happiness, I know he deserves someone who'll love him completely. I just know that that person isn't Hermione.

She shakes her head though. “We've been talking it through.”

She has me confused now and I raise my eyebrow, showing my confusion. She grins and laughs. “It's…it's complicated.”

“Wanna talk about it?” I ask, leaning against the railing again.

“I suppose I have to,” she says. “If I don't Ron will and that'll just make it even more complicated than it has to be.”

The lights have gone on in Ron's Head Boy bedroom. He's in there, packing up his belongings to take them all home with him tomorrow.

“We've broken up,” I hear her say, but I'm still watching Ron taking his posters down. He's rolling each of them up and putting them in his trunk, wiping small tears from his eyes.

I turn back to Hermione, finally realising what she says and why Ron must be crying.

“It just didn't feel right,” she continues still looking nervous, but leaning on the rail like me. She's watching Ron in his bedroom. “You should say it now.”

“Say what?” I ask, knowing what she means. I'm not in the mood for playing around though.

“Say `I told you so',” she answers as we watch Ron pack away the moving photographs on his desk. “You said it back then, that it wouldn't end like we wanted it too. To be honest, I didn't think it'd end this way.”

I smile to myself, a little at the thought of Hermione being in doubt about anything. “How did you think it'd end?”

She chuckles, “With a lot more screaming and a lot less understanding.”

“How did it end?” I ask, wanting to know the answer but somehow, already knowing.

“We…it…I just didn't want to live like that,” she replies. “Knowing that I didn't care about him much more than I would a brother. He said he felt the same, which fit perfectly and then there was just this…this understanding. No more needed to be said. That's when I came up here.”

“To regale the story to me?” I laugh, griping the railing softly.

She shakes her head with a smile. “No. I came up here to get away from the questions they were throwing at me. And since you were already up here, I thought I might try to cheer you up a bit.”

I sigh contentedly, making the smallest sigh I can. “I'm cheered. Job well done, Hermione.”

She sighed this time, loudly, not caring whether I heard her or not. But the sigh wasn't content; it was a sigh of unrest.

“Well…” she begins, edging away from the railing slightly, backing up towards the door. “I think I should be heading off to bed then.”

With the tiny steps she made, I felt like I was losing her. Why? I didn't understand myself but it took a small amount of my brain to function just to say…

“Stay.”

She looked back at me, her eyes piercing through mine, looking for a glimpse of my truth. She gave me a look, a look that meant a thousand words, a look that meant the world to me and yet nothing to anyone else. Her bottom lip was trembling; her eyes were welling up with the tears she hadn't shed over her break up.

I took a step forward and came within a foot of her. I reached out and took her hand in mine, rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand and felt a need to repeat my words. So, I said it, in a whisper.

“Stay.”

And that was it. That was all I ever needed to say. Two steps forward, one step back as they say.

She was in my arms and breathing into the crook of my neck before I could find the sense inside me to hold her, to run my hands over her back, to nestle my face into her hair and know that's where I belonged forever. I never was the fastest frog in the box.

That's how we stood for sometime. Just holding one another, neither speaking a word. What words needed to be said? There wasn't any. We were where we belonged at last. No more dancing around each other, no more avoidance, no more misconceptions, no more heartache, no more tears, no more sorrow, no more loneliness.

She smiled up at me. And I understood. Something that's been tearing my heart out over these past few months. I finally understood what it all meant all at once. She was the first to break the silence.

“Is there any need to tell anyone?”

I shake my head. “No one needs to know. Not until tomorrow.”

“I…” she tries but I press my finger against her lips.

She's trying to tell me that she loves me, that she's always loved me even when she was with Ron. She was always to blind to see that I knew, that I always knew. And I will always know.

“Hogwarts belongs to you and Ron,” I say. “The time you had was short lived maybe, but it was still time; something which you shouldn't forget so easily. If we proclaim it tonight, then that time will be gone forever. It won't be yours and Ron's…it'll be our lover's trial.”

She shakes her head with her smile. “Sometimes you're smarter than I give you credit for.”

I shrug, “Comes with Books and Cleverness for a best friend.”

She slaps my shoulder playfully. “I can't believe you still remember that!”

“How could I forget?” I say honestly. I'll never forget that night. It's burned into my memory like the scar is on my forehead. “And the hug! I'm telling you, that started something!”

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes, walking away from me and down the stairs.

Suddenly, I'm not so afraid to leave the castle now I know what's waiting for me when we get outside. Yeah, it'll always be home. But I've got someone I can call home now.

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A/N: Pretty crappy I know and exactly like every other one of my one time fics. I can't seem to get a good idea at the moment.