Rating: R
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 29/09/2003
Last Updated: 12/10/2003
Status: In Progress
hermione has to make a choice
Love is a precious thing; don’t let it fall out of your grasp once you catch it
~?~
Walking a lonely dirt road Hermione took one look back at the lake and then continued her walk back to the castle called Hogwarts. She was so confused on what to do. She had to choose between a life as a witch or going back to the muggle way, no magic, she sighed out of frustration.
She wanted to stay a witch there no doubt about that plus her friendship with Ron and Harry, but going back to be a muggle would make her parents less worried about her safety. They had told her this summer that they were as worried as can be about her this year, and didn’t want her going back to Hogwarts and she would have to choose between magic or being a muggle.
The worst part about it was that if she chose to be a witch her parents wouldn’t support her any more; she would have to leave them and never come back. This magic world is getting to crazy for them they said, they were getting tired of it.
This was going to be a hard decision though Hermione to herself. Hermione walked to the common room and took a seat in front of the fire and just stared into the burning red flames. She thought deeply not knowing what to think. She was surprised that her parents had said those words to her. She loved her parents dearly she did, but Harry needed her.
All of the magic world did. She had the highest grades in Hogwarts and just couldn’t walk out when they needed her more then ever. And if she left she would be losing harry and Ron’s friendship for good and letting harry down more then ever. And she hadn’t ever left any one down before not ever.
Hermione heard footsteps and she knew who they belonged to.
“Hello Harry what are you doing out of bed” she said
“I should ask you the same thing” he answered back
-If you must know I was thinking-
-About what-
-Things-
-What sort of things-
Should I tell him he thought to herself. No I can’t at least not right now, maybe before I make my decision.
“Just studies, which reminds me have a you study for your N.E.W.T.S. yet Harry.”
He sighed and said “No” as he thought about studying harder to become an Auror
“Harry how are you ever going to become an Auror if you don’t study” said Hermione
Harry looked at her and shocked and said “How did you know I wanted to become an Auror”
“I just know” said Hermione quietly
“But how I never told you or Ron” he said
“I know because after what you have been through the last few years, losing your parents Hermione paused for a second “and then Sirius and plus last night when I came up to get you for dinner and I saw you looking through your photo album and the mirror Sirius gave you. You want to protect every one harry, from getting hurt because of you. But the truth is that we care about you all of us do and we want to protect you, where here for you by your side the whole way. Up till the very end when Voldemort will be defeated.” said Hermione with tears falling from her eyes while looking deep into Harry’s green emerald eyes.
“Hermione can I tell you something” asked harry
“Yes” she answers back
“Dumbledore told me the night the prophecy smashed that only one person can live and the other dies so I have to defeat voldemort before he tries to kill me”
Hermione was silent for a moment then said “I will always be here for you Harry promise”
“You will”
“Yes harry until forever and always end” said Hermione heartily
“Thank you Hermione”
“What are friends for, goodnight harry”
“Good Night Hermione”
Hermione leaned over and gave harry a comforting and warmth inning hug. Hermione walked up to the girl’s dormitory but she stopped at the third step and said to harry
“Remember Harry you not alone” and then she quietly went back up to her dormitory, leaving harry to think.
I know I’m not alone but I feel like it. I wonder what she ment by it though. Could something of happened to her? Then he went up to bed still in curiosity of that question.
The next day Hermione just walked around enjoying her evening in Hogsmeade. She really didn’t want to think about the future right now, she just wanted to relax for the day and think about all her stress tomorrow.
She had not seen Ron or Harry all day. Well actually since they got to Hogsmeade. Ron said that he was going to spend the day with Lavender and Harry said he wanted to go and get something done. So she was on her own for the day.
Hermione saw a little jewelry store at the corner. She walked toward thinking to have a look around. As she walked into the store and the door opened with a ding from the bell above it and she saw Harry. She was surprised she thought she would never find him in here. Harry spun around and looked at Hermione and said
“Uh hi Hermione”
“Hi what are you doing in here” she asked with curiosity in her voice
“Nothing, nothing at all” he said just a little to quickly
“Harry how long have I known you”
“Five years”
“And you’d think by then your friends would always tell when you knew that you aren’t always up to nothing” she said with a smile on her face
“I was just picking up a watch for Ron” he said and quickly too a black case from the counter and muttered “I’ll see you later” and then quickly passed her and he got a suspicious look from her
Hermione walked up to the counter and saw through the clear counter was beautiful jewelry which looked like they were very expensive.” She turned her back from the counter and looked at the door through which Harry had exited.
A man that looked like he was in his late fifties came out from the back and said to Hermione
“That harry potter is a good boy, but every one just cares about cares about is his fame and fortune”
“I now no one looks at the boy behind the scar. That is what hides who he truly is.” Hermione turned toward the man and asked
“What was it that Harry had bought from you?" I didn’t see anything in the glass window that had been bought”
“People will find out thing they want to have knowledge of all in time. Don’t let that desire eat away at your thoughts. But I will tell you that he said it was for some one special he cared about with all of his life”
“I wonder who that is. I mean he’s over Cho and Ginny s over him and they would probably tell if they were together”
“Sometimes the person that wonders who it is, is right in front of them” he said
clatter, clatter Hermione turned toward the window it had started to rain hard
“Thank you sir” Hermione said still in curiosity as she pulled up her hood
“My pleasure Ms. Granger” the old man said
Hermione was at the door when she turned around and asked “How do you know my name”
“You’re the cleverest to come upon Hogwarts how wouldn’t now your name Ms. Granger” he answered
“Oh” she replied rather surprised by this little bit news
And then she turned and left through the front door into the cold rain and winds and the darkness that had fell upon Hogsmeade.
The old man watched as she exited the store and then a phoenix flew to his shoulder and he said to the phoenix “Through a persons eyes it is so clear, but not to those who are the ones that in the deepest care for another”
#@#
Christmas was soon coming, in one week for the matter and Hermione had gotten Ron something, which she had given to him before he left to go to the Burrow (He had invited her and Harry to come but she and harry said they wanted to stay at Hogwarts. Hermione not wanting to go because she didn’t want to think about her family and her decision and harry because of not wanting to think of Sirius), but she couldn’t think of anything for harry. She spent the whole day trying to think of something but couldn’t.
Hermione was walking from the library to dinner when it hit her. What she could give Harry for Christmas. She smiled in delight.
She quickly rushed to dinner and ate quickly and then went to Professor McGonagall and asked if she could travel to 12 Grimmaud Place were she knew she would find what she was looking for.
And to a little of her surprise Professor McGonagall approved of her travel.
Probably because of what Harry has been through. When she got into the common room no one was there. Thank goodness she thought it would have been a lot harder to get the information she needed. She walked up to the fireplace said a spell to get rid of the burning flames and then stepped into it and said “12 Grimmaud Place” and a few seconds later she was in the house of what was now Harry’s.
It had surprise her that Lupin was sitting at the end of the table like he was expecting her arrive.
“Sit down Hermione I think I have the right thing you’re looking for” he said
&*&
Hermione woke up early the next day. Maybe I’ll go for a ride thought Hermione to herself. So she got her broom and went out to the Quidditch field. She jumped onto her broom and flew into the air.
She had gotten over her fear of heights right before the summer ended and now she loved flying, though no one knew that she had gotten over it. Not even Ron or harry.
Hermione looked down at the ground beneath her and to her shock Harry was leaning against one of the Quidditch poles with his arms and legs crossed. She did a sharp turned that lead her towards Harry and in no time she was in front of Harry.
She got off her broom while Harry said “So I see you have gotten over your fear of heights.”
“I guess you could say that” she answered in return “I was going in, in
a few minutes but I guess I’ll go in now. Besides it’s getting a little cold out here anyway”
“Maybe you should try out for Quidditch. Your quiet good on a broomstick” He suggested
“No thanks I’ll stick with just for fun”
“Alright but I’ll save ya a spot when ya want it. Hey could you help me with the essay snape through at us the other day”
”Yeah sure”
They walked up to the Gryffindor common room and Harry went to go get his books and Hermione went to put her broom away and change into warmer clothes. A few seconds later they were both down in the common room.
“Ready” asked Hermione
“Yep” he said
So they started and about 3 hours later they were finished. Hermione sat in the arm chair deeply in thought about her decision and she still didn’t now. She didn’t want to lose her family, but still didn’t want to lose the magic world either.
“Hermione”
Harry’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts.
“What”
“What are you thinking about” He said
“Nothing” she said quietly
“Hermione don’t even try it, like you said before we’ve known each other 5years and I can tell when your thinking about something important, now please tell me”
Hermione sighed in defeat and then laughed a little for in fact she had said that to him just very recently.
“I have to make a decision”
“About what”
“My parents don’t want me to come here any more and if I refused their offer to become a muggle they would support me any more and I don’t want to lose the magic world either or my friendship with you and Ron”
“Hermione you seem to me to love the magic world and if your parents don’t see that then you should just stay in the magic world. You know you always have The Weasleys and me. But that is just my advice do what you feel is right for yourself”
“Thanks Harry”
“Anytime Hermione” he said and walked off towards the boys dormitories. Hermione watched him and she felt a little less stressed and worried about her decision.
!&!
Hermione woke up and remembered it was Christmas Eve today. She got up went down to breakfast. As she walked through the common room she saw Ron (he had decided to come back and spend Christmas at Hogwarts with Harry and Hermione) and Harry. She was about to go over and say good morning but she stopped about five feet away when she heard
“You have to tell her Harry” said Ron
“I can’t and I won’t besides what if she doesn’t feel the same way”
“Harry you have to at least give it a chance”
“I’m not going to and you can’t force me”
“That’s what you think. If you don’t tell her Harry I will”
“You won’t” Harry said
“I can and I will if you don’t tell her by tomorrow night on Christmas in Hogsmeade”
“Ok fine you win”
Hermione wondered so much who the girl was that captured Harry’s heart.
You can always have a family, but the catch is you have to find that family
$^$
Hermione woke up to the soft following music of the wind. Like a low playing flute, it reminded her of her mother soft humming voice. She always loved to hear her but know she didn’t know what she wanted to hear or think.
As she got up and ready an owl flew onto her open window sill. She walked over and took the note wondering who it could be from. She did not recognize the silver and white streaked owl. When she opened it she recognized the writing as her mothers. Strange she thought. She started to read the letter.
Dear Hermione
Please forgive me for not seeing how much this magic world means to you. I will follow you in everything you believe in. I am still trying to convince your father to see it also. To show that I am truly sorry this owl is yours as a Christmas gift and the owl is a girl.
Everyone in the family still thinks it is stupid of you to have become a witch but no matter what I will support you with all my will and for all those reasons your father is getting mad and we are arguing every day. I don’t know how to say this but I think your father and I are getting a divorce because he still won’t understand everything about you and the magic world.
He wishes you wouldn’t have gone and that is what I thought at first to but I have had a slight change in my thoughts.
One last thing that may be hard for you to here is that I have had cancer the past 2 years and it is getting worse and I am sorry I wasn’t the best mother I should have been. My cancer is growing rapidly and I don’t if I am going to survive much longer. I didn’t want to tell you to worry you. I’m sorry.
Love,
Your mother
p.s. Merry Christmas and I will try to work through with your father and if I do convince him we may still get a divorce, but we will talk more about it when you get home for the summer
Hermione couldn’t believe she had just read those words. In fact she had read it several times before it finally got through to her. She had tears in her eyes when she finished for the last time. She had totally forgotten it was Christmas today and the best part was her mother wanted her to choose what she wanted. She loved her mother she finally understood but the bad part was her father and he wasn’t that persuasive. Her mother had cancer for the past two years and she is still alive. Hermione felt horrible she wasn’t there with her mother.
What is going to happen Hermione asked herself and on top of that her parents were fighting about her and other things which she had no knowledge of. But all she knew is that she had someone behind her in all of this.
She got dressed and went down to the common room were she found Harry and Ron opening there presents. She walked over to them and sat down next to harry on the couch.
“Happy Christmas Hermione” Harry said to her
“Yeah Happy Christmas” said Ron who was looking through a book on Quidditch
“Merry Christmas to both of you too” Hermione said and threw Ron his present (sack of candy and Quidditch cards)
Then said “I’ll be in the library” and she got up and left
When she was all they way out of the portrait Ron turned his head towards Harry who was reading a book and said “You have to tell her tonight in Hogsmeade”
“I’d thought you forget” said Harry with disappointment in his voice not looking away from the book he was deeply into.
“Nope I’m not that thick headed”
“Well I thought so. Thanks for ruining it for me”
“Anytime”
!%!
Harry Ron and Hermione walked through Hogsmeade for awhile then Ron said he was go hang with Lavender for awhile. Before he left he gave harry a look that said you better tell her and then walked away.
“Hey follow me I want to show you something” said Hermione
They walked in silence until they walked up to a cliff. Harry looked at the view it was spectacular.
“You can see everything from here” he said in amazement as he looked up into the bright light sky with the star and the moon.
Harry looked at Hermione the moon reflecting on her as she looked at the view below
“I know I come up here to think”
“What do you think about up here?”
“Things”
“What kind of things”
“Just things”
“Harry walked behind her on the edge of the cliff and wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered in her ear “tell me please”
Hermione melted in his arms and felt like she would tell him anything.
“I think about everything that happens in my life. My feelings, the decisions I have to make and what I should do with my life” she said still in his embrace
“Have you chosen?” he whispered in her ear once again
Hermione said nothing for a minute and then answered when harry tightened his arms around her
“I have”
“And”
Hermione spun around still in his arms and whispered in his ear “I have chosen to stay. So I can help you train to defeat Voldemort. Help you save our world and the muggle world”
As harry heard those words he hugged her as tight as he could and Hermione did the same. He was so happy Hermione was going to stay in the magic world with the weasleys, lupin, moody and him.
Hermione let go of him and then walked back to the edge of the cliff and Harry saw tears fall from her eyes.
“Hermione, what is it?”
“My mother saw how much this world ment to me and she said she would always support me and she has cancer”
“No Hermione”
“Yes”
“There has to be a cure the magic world can come up with”
“No there isn’t I looked up anything and everything I could on it but they have never heard of it” Hermione said as she let the tears fall freely now.
“Well what about the treatments the doctors can give her”
“She topped responding to them and the worse part is that I never knew and she might not live much longer and my parents are fighting not just over me but other things”
“I’m so sorry Hermione I wish I could do something to help you”
“It’s not your fault Harry”
Harry walked over to her and turned her around and hugged her as tight as he held a snitch when he had it in his grasp. She tried to pull away but he just continued to hold her firmly in his arms.
“Let me go Harry it’s all my fault I just want to run. I need to find a cure I can’t give up on her. She hasn’t given up on me but once and I will not give up on her” she said as she continued to cry
“No Hermione he said firmly “You are the cleverest witch ever to go to Hogwarts, but even when your are the smartest of all you still can not solve everything”
Hermione finally stopped trying to get out of Harry s grasp and cried and said “I just wish I could harry I wish I could make her better and she could live. She was the best mother I ever had and ever known and now that I know she is dying and she cares and supports me now. I just want her to be able to live and see what I can accomplish because of her and for her”
After that they were both silent and soon after they just sat there Hermione in between Harry’s legs, leaning into his chest and Harry’s arms around her waist and looked at the sky and the view below them.
“Magic can’t always solve everything hat our hearts desire it to accomplish, but it can help heal the pain we feel” harry whispered in Hermione’s ear.
“How” she whispered back
“By seeing what other can’t”
“What do you mean?”
“Love, the magic brings the love that we feel for that person out and helps us realize that the people that love you always stay with you through the toughest time”
“Like now”
“Exactly” he whispered
The wind started to blow lazily and made the tall tan grass move around them (they were surrounded by it) as Hermione turned around and straddled Harry and slowly pushed him onto his back. Hermione laid down on his chest looking at him in the eye only inches away and whispered
“Do you love me Harry?”
“If I had a century I would tell you every little detail Hermione. Ever since I first saw you and realized it just since school started. I love they way you smile every time you get out standing scores on tests, the way you worry when something bad is about to happen. You may nag me about my homework but that is what makes you, you. The way your eyes light up every time you read something and learn new things. The smell of you hair is like old books, the way you’re always happy when you can accomplish everything and anything, and how you don’t care what people think or say about you. You see me as a regular person who just wants to goof around and not have a care in the world”
“The things I love about you Harry Potter is how you always caring for there’s and when you are happy it’s like you’re just another wizard just trying to get through school. I love the way your hair is always a mess and you try to get it to look decent and your eyes, I could just stare into those eyes for as long as forever will last. When I look into them I see what I going through your mind and they way you look into mine a just see what I’m thinking and no matter what it is you always know what to say. You have always been there for me when even Ron hasn’t. You know me inside and out. I would never give up your friendship for anything”
Hermione leaned down and brushed her lips slowly upon his and Harry deepened the kiss by opening his mouth and begging for entrance to Hermione’s mouth and she gladly granted his wish and played with his tongue. Soon they were both out of breath, both panting and Harry said “You’re amazing”
“No you are the one who is amazing harry and I knew you weren’t a bad kisser”
Harry laughed lightly and whispered “You’re the one who is always right and still I see no flaw at anything new to you that you try”
Hermione blushed a little and whispered back “All your life you have never seen love. Of course you have but you were too young to remember it and Sirius was the closest thing you had to family and I will try my hardest to try and heal the pain you have felt over the years”
Harry had the biggest smile Hermione had ever seen on his face
“You are everything I need Hermione, you’re the best and probably the only one who can ease my pain. Sure I have the Weasleys they’re the greatest, but you have one thing that they can never have”
“What is that?”
“Answers to everything, you filled in the empty spot in my heart Hermione. Before it felt like something inside of me was missing and my mind said that I would never find it but my heart kept saying that I would soon find it and it was you Hermione and it will always stay that way”
Hermione had tears running down her cheeks
“And the only thing I worry about is losing you and if that ever does happen I would die I would never forgive myself”
“Harry no matter what happens between us I promise that I will always, always stay at your side for forever and I promise that nothing will happen to me” she said as she hugged him and then just leaned back enough to look him in they eye and gave him yet another deep kiss and said
“I will and always have loved you and I will never stop loving you”
“Do you know how much I look forward to waking up to that every day? To just see your sleeping form in my arms”
“I have an idea” she whispered in his ear
Harry just smiled