Cruel Summer

LilMizTake63

Rating: NC17
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 4
Published: 02/10/2003
Last Updated: 01/08/2004
Status: in_progress

Summer term after 6th Yr. Lily and James are told to spend 3 weeks together in the muggle world. 1 Prob: They despise each other! Plz Plz R&R!!!!

Chapters

1. A Long Three Weeks

2. Attack if the Gnomes

3. Alterations

4. Exasperations

5. Under the Influence

6. Maturity

7. A LoveHate Relationship

8. My Sweet Land of Dreams

9. Invisible Embraces

10. Dangerous Looks & Provocative Touches

11. Que Sera Sera

12. Nightmares & Daydreams

13. Boys Will Be Boys

14. Fairytales of White Horses

15. The Marauders Evil Plan

16. The Sheerness of Beauty

17. Things That Change

18. Settling of Scores

19. Curtain of Dreams

20. Warnings of Whats to Come

21. In The Zone

22. The Muggle Studies Day Trip

23. Sirius in Mission Impossible

1. A Long Three Weeks

A/N: Hey, I've decided to repost my HP story that was previously banned Wonder whether they'll do it again…oh wells, it's posted at Portkey.org I've made a few adjustments and will be adding a new chapter soonies. Much Love, Debs xxx

Cruel Summer

`I have to what?'

Lily's question of disbelief echoed thoughout Dumbledore's office and the headmaster looked at her calmly over his half-moon spectacles.

`Oh, no,' she started frantically, `no way! There is no way that I'm going to spend time with…with him!'

The Gryffindor girl pointed at the arrogant boy standing silent a few feet away from her. She could practically feel the conceit seeping out of his skin and clogging up the air.

`I'm sorry Miss Evans, but the other professors and I have agreed. We all think this is the right decision for both of you to grow…accustomed.'

Lily felt sick.

She hoped it was all just some terrible nightmare and that she would wake up at any second, but that second never came and when she opened her eyes both James and Professor Dumbledore were still there. Nothing had changed.

`I acknowledge the fact that you two don't get along,' Professor Dumbledore spoke softly, his hands coming together in front of him, `and if you are both to be Head Boy and Girl, you will have to learn how to be in the same room as each other at least.'

Professor Dumbledore turned to James and continued, `Plus, I feel it will also benefit your maturity Mr Potter. We all selected you for important reasons, however, if you are to be Head Boy, I feel that it would be best if we did some serious improvements over the summer…I believe Miss Evans can help you there.'

This comment brought James out of his dazed expression, and he looked at the headmaster's pointed look. He sighed in exasperation before retaliating.

`But, summer, professor? That's torture! I have to spend six weeks with her?'

James looked over at Lily, who was scrunching her fists together at her sides, visibly seething at him.

`No, Mr Potter, the last half of summer. That's why I've chosen to tell you your Head positions before you returned home.'

Dumbledore pushed his large wooden chair back and stood up from behind his desk, watching James absently run a hand through his scruffy black hair as he pondered the situation.

`It will be a good experience James. And it isn't all summer. I do think this is right for you both.'

He turned his attention to Lily, `I do hope you will be able to accept this, Miss Evans.'

Lily glanced quickly at James then back to the Professor. She nodded silently, afraid that if she said anything else, it would probably result in her screaming.

`Wonderful,' he beamed, moving towards them, `James will arrive at your place of residence in three weeks.'

Lily looked at Professor Dumbledore suddenly remembering, `Wait, aren't I at least allowed to tell my parents first?'

The headmaster laughed softly, `There's no need to worry. Both of your parents have been informed of the situation.'

Silence followed this information as the two students stood, processing this news. Whatever would come of this?

`Now,' Dumbledore spoke, bringing them back down to Earth, `the coaches will be arriving soon; you may go and pack for the journey home.'

Lily and James stepped out of the headmasters' office and began to walk back to the Gryffindor Common Room. Lily, knowing that James kept stealing sly glances at her, kept quiet as they walked back. Just looking at him made her want to smack that annoying smirk from his face.

Arriving at the portrait door, Lily muttered the password and they walked into the Common Room. Flopped on the couches were the people that Lily despised the most, and from the corner of her eye she watched James walk over to them. Lily couldn't believe she had to spend half of her holiday with that jerk. She had worked so hard to get the Head Girl title…It was just her luck that it had to come at a price.

`Come to think of it,' she wondered in disbelief, `how did he get that title? He's an idiot! What was Dumbledore thinking?'

She sighed and walked up to the stairs to the girls' dormitories, rolling her eyes as she heard Sirius say something unintelligent about her.

It was going to be a long three weeks.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

`I can't believe this is happening,' James groaned, slumping across the soft cushions in front of the fire.

Both Sirius and Remus had found James' predicament incredibly funny and had collapsed laughing after he'd grudgingly told them why he'd been called to see Dumbledore.

`You and Evans for three weeks?' Sirius laughed, hitting the side of the sofa for emphasis `Oh that's excellent!'

James folded his arms, `What's excellent about it? She so…'

`Prissy!' Sirius ended for him, pinching his face together like he'd just bit into a lemon, `Yeah good luck with that.'

`Come on guys,' James moaned, `you've gotta get me out of this! Break my leg or something!'

This only resulted in firing Sirius' laughter again and James turned to Remus to try and get some sort of sense out of his friends.

`How do I get out of this?'

Moony stood up and James looked at him knowing that a lecture was coming.

`I think it's a good idea,' he said confidently after some thought.

`Yeah me too!' Sirius chuckled, a silly grin plastered across his face, `I wanna see how it turns out.'

James stood up, annoyed, `You guys piss me off sometimes!'

Holding his hands up in a mock submission, Sirius leaned back on the couch, `Prongs look at it like this. What Evans lacks in social skills, she makes up for in body, and you get to spend three weeks with her. I'd say that's a pretty good deal mate.'

`Why don't you do it then,' James shot at him frostily, folding his arms tight across his chest, `three weeks with that stuck up bitch is gonna kill me!'

`You're exaggerating,' Remus reasoned at the black haired Seeker, `Lily's not that bad.'

At that moment, Lily Evans descended the stairs into the Common Room from the dormitories pulling a large brown suitcase behind her. She walked haughtily towards the group of them and they all looked up at her, expecting some sort of insult.

Glancing at each of them in turn, her eyes rested on James. She spoke bitterly, `When you come to my house, I don't want any of your stupid…marauder-ness! I'll tell you once James Potter, I excel in charms and I will not think twice of charming away some of the things that are very valuable to you, if you know what I mean!'

Lily glared at Sirius when she heard him snigger.

`And the same goes for you Sirius Black, if you decide to just apperate over for a nice `chat'!'

Sirius just looked at her, grinned and winked boyishly; earning a huff of exasperation and her storming from the room, bag in tow.

James collapsed onto the sofa again, groaning his protests into the red upholstery.

`There is one thing that I can say that might make this easier.'

James looked at Sirius hopefully but he just paused and looked back at James, `Good luck.'

James threw his head back into the soft cushions of the sofa as Sirius got up, followed by Remus and Peter and walked to the boys' dormitories.

`Ugh, Lily Evans!' he thought despairingly, sticking his face deeper into the cushions, `It's going to be a long three weeks.'

-->

2. Attack if the Gnomes

Cruel Summer

The first half of the summer went extremely fast to both James' and Lily's disapproval. Lily's mother had insisted on cleaning the house thoroughly against her daughters' orders not to.

`Lily, I'm not having the first wizard to enter this house seeing it as a t!'

`He's not royalty Mum!' she had shouted at her Mother, but the decision was fixed.

Lily's parents were delighted with the fact that James was staying with them. They knew that Lily was a witch, but this, they felt, would help them understand it a lot better. James was a pureblood and knew nothing really about the muggle life that surrounded the wizarding one. It would be a lesson for him as much as it would be for Lily's parents.

The one member of the family that despised the idea was Lily's sister, Petunia. Both sisters were completely opposite when it came to appearance and also mentalitly and values. Where Lily's features were delicate, exuding charm, Petunia's seemed constantly distorted in a way of a bull-dog chewing a lemon. This was most probably due to the fact that there was always something that she had a problem with. The number one thing being that Lily was a witch. They did not get along at all and it seemed that Petunia was also finding it hard that her younger sister was having boys over before her.

`You and that…that freak,' Petunia had barked, `will not go near my room or touch anything of mine! Do you understand?'

Lily rolled her eyes, `No I don't, but please tell me again because it was so captivating.'

Petunia boiled as her sister walked away from her into her own room.

James would be staying in the guest bedroom to the order of Lily's Father. He had tried to tell her the reason but she dodged the embarrassing talk quickly. The last thing she needed was her Father assuming that there was something going on between her and the biggest prat in the school.

Lily was glad that James was staying in the guest bedroom as it was right next to Petunia's and she thought it was wonderful punishment for both of them. He had been expected to arrive at the Evans household at 10 o'clock that morning but Lily wasn't that surprised when he didn't turn up on time. She had tried to persuade her Mother not to take it personally and that he would be here soon, but she secretly hoped that he'd conveniently forgotten or something else just as stupid.

It was just gone 8 o'clock that night when there was a series of knocks on the door.

Lily sighed, `Huh, that must be him, probably can't figure out how to use the doorbell.'

Lily had ordered her parents, and her nosing sister, to stay in the lounge and she smiled at her Mother who was fidgeting nervously. Moving towards the front door, Lily took a deep breath and reached for the handle.

*****************************

James apperated gracefully into the alien street of the muggle housing estate. He looked around the identical houses all in a row and frowned, `This is so weird.'

Lifting up his wand he muttered a quick spell and the wand hovered in the air, awaiting its next command. Shooting a last glance around the strange and unfamiliar neighbourhood, he looked back at his wand.

`Which one of these things is Evans in?'

The wand just floated in the air for a few seconds then span around to point its tip at a large house in the corner of the street. James followed the direction with his eyes and walked towards the gate of the white picket fence.

Stopping in front of it he looked at the mechanism, he cringed, `Ok, Muggle Studies. Think!'

James glanced at the house and imagined her laughing at him, just because he couldn't open a stupid gate. Looking around and acknowledging there was no one about, he apperated to the front door.

`Oh no,' he mumbled, looking at the doorbell as if it were the enemy, `What the hell is that?'

Ignoring it and swallowing, he rapped on the door 8 times; like it said to do on the piece of paper that Dumbledore had given him. James paused and looked around the front garden.

****************************

Lily opened the front door and looked at the scruffy haired boy who was looking dubiously at her Mother's garden gnomes, wand poised.

`James!'

`Yeah,' he yelped, looking at her and continuing in a hushed voice, `does that man always smile? It's weird!'

Lily rolled her eyes and bent down to pick up the ceramic ornament, holding it in front of him, `It's a gnome…it's not real ok?'

James frowned at her as if she was an idiot and she rapped her knuckles over its artificial hat for emphasis.

`Never mind,' she sighed, putting it back on the grass, `you don't have to curse it though.'

`Lily!' her Mother trilled from the lounge.

James' head snapped to the sound, `Who's that?'

`My Mother, she wants to meet you. Don't know why.'

`Funny,' he replied sarcastically.

`Oh shut up,' she spat, glaring at him, `what was with all the knocking as well?'

James frowned as Lily shut the front door behind him and he walked into the hall.

`I knocked the amount of times it said,' he told her, holding up the parchment.

`What?'

It was Lily's turn to frown as she looked at the piece of paper that he was holding. She looked back at him as if he was a complete and utter moron.

`James,' she said flatly, `that's the house number.'

Lily was so annoyed with having him staying with her, that she failed to see the humour of his mistake. But seeing the blush that crept over his usually arrogant face did make her feel better.

`Why are you so late?' she asked, stopping by the lounge door.

`I can't tell stupid muggle time ok!'

Lily restrained a laugh and opened the door, ushering him through it.

`James!' Lily's Mother smiled, standing up from the sofa and walking to him, `Come in dear.'

Lily's Dad followed his wife to welcome the young wizard into their home, greeting him though he was a spectacular being.

`Okay!' Lily interjected, quickly grabbing James' cloak, `We'll be going now.'

`Hold on Lil',' her Mother exclaimed, `the boy's just got here.'

The little mutters and coughs from Petunia's direction were getting louder and louder until when she coughed again, Lily snapped.

`You should really get some cough medicine Petunia… otherwise you could end up loosing your voice.'

The promise in Lily's statement caused Petunia to shut up quickly.

James looked at the lanky girl sitting on the sofa, watching…

`Merlin, what's that?'

`It's a television, you idiot,' Lily snapped at him harshly, `don't you do Muggle Studies?'

`Lily!' her Father scolded.

James looked at Lily who was now blushing and a smirk gracing his features quickly that only she caught sight of.

`Don't be so hard on the boy,' her Father continued, `he doesn't know about our ways.'

Lily looked at the floor as her parents inspected the foreign being in front of them. She would have liked nothing more to seize the idiot and chuck him out of her house, away from her family…but she knew this would be…frowned…upon by a lot of people.

`I'll help him unpack,' she said through gritted teeth, grabbing him and pushing him back into the hall and up the stairs.

*****************************

`Naughty Lily, do what Daddy tells you,' James snickered as Lily pushed him up the stairs.

`Shut up James!'

Lily moved in front of him and walked towards the end of the landing. She stopped in front of the guest bedroom and opened the door, walking inside. James followed her inside and looked around his new space. The bedroom was quite girly with plush cream curtains, carpets and bed covers. Without giving time for Lily to speak, James reached for his wand and transformed the room to more of his liking.

`Much better,' he grinned, looking at her.

Lily just looked at him, she knew he wanted to piss her off and unfortunately it was working.

She folded her arms, `I. Hate. You. So. Much.'

James shrugged, smiling impishly `Wouldn't want it any other way babe.'

Lily fell silent as James removed a tiny box from his robes and placed it on the old writing desk that sat by the wall. She watched in curiosity as he transfigured it back into a black trunk.

`Show off,' she remarked.

`Oh really?' James answered sarcastically, `And here I was, certain that that little stunt would make you pine for me.'

Lily flushed at his comment and all hopes for a witty comeback were dashed quickly.

`Yeah, you wish,' she said, mentally kicking herself at how lame that was.

James didn't seem to actually be paying attention to her as he opened the trunk and started removing his clothes and other items.

Realising she was still behind him after a few moments, he turned around to face her, `Are you going to stand there and watch me unpack everything?'

Lily didn't answer him though; she was looking at the clothes he had brought with him.

`Have you just brought robes?'

`Yeah.'

`I live in a muggle community,' she said looking at him, `you have no muggle clothing?'

James wrinkled his face with distaste, `Why would I bring muggle clothes? Should I have?'

`Well, yes actually!'

`Why's that?'

`For the reason I just said!'

James sighed again, collapsed onto the bed and laid down suggestively; causing Lily to feel uneasy. He watched her squirm and he grinned, `Like what you see Lily-kins?'

Lily glared at him defiantly and he sat up, his eyes still twinkling with amusement.

`The bathroom is opposite my room, down the hall.' she said slowly, `I suggest you don't go into Petunias room, but definitely, definitely do not come into mine.'

With that, Lily walked straight from the room, causing James to snigger and flop back on the bed.

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3. Alterations

Cruel Summer

That night James had slept really well on the muggle bed in the guest room. However, for Lily it was completely the opposite. Whatever she tried to make herself fall asleep didn't work and she had tossed and turned all night. She hated having James here, in her house. They were enemies it felt strange and wrong.

That morning she was sitting at the kitchen table still in her shorts & vest top pyjamas, reading the paper when James came downstairs.

`Cereal, coffee or whatever is over there,' she said flatly, pointing over to the side and not bothering to look up at him.

`See-real what?'

Lily looked at James incredulously and got up, walking over to the work surface. But James was taking absolutely no notice of what she was doing. He was too preoccupied with the fact that she had no bra on underneath the skimpy top she was wearing and the way her ti…

`James!'

He snapped his attention to her face and blinked, `Yeah?'

`What are you having for breakfast?'

A million sordid thoughts shot through his mind after her question and he tried to focus.

`Erm…' he choked, `Pumpkin Juice?'

`You can have the next best thing.'

Lily walked over to the fridge, opened the door and pulled out a carton of juice. Grabbing a glass, she handed both of them to him and walked back to the table. James gulped and sat opposite her, trying to keep his eyes and thoughts centred on one thing, but both just kept going back to Lily's chest.

`I'm taking you shopping today,' Lily said, out of the blue.

`You're taking me where?'

`Shopping,' she said, looking at him, `you know, where you get things in exchange for money?'

James narrowed his eyes at her. His thoughts of her were changing until she opened her mouth and said something.

`Fine,' he mumbled, sipping the juice.

After a silence of about 10 minutes, James stood up, `I'm going to take a shower.'

`Uh huh,' she muttered and continued reading.

`Well, can you show me how to work it?'

Lily looked at him, an insult on the tip of her tongue but she chose to keep silent.

After his shower, she had used it as well. She had been amazed at the sweet smell of his shower gel.

`At least I hope it was shower gel,' she had thought.

Wrapping a towel around herself, she got out, dried herself off and got dressed into a pair of cords, a scooped white top and her favourite pair of black boots. After quickly drying her hair and applying her make-up with magic, she stepped out into the hall and down the stairs into the lounge.

`Petunia,' she said to her sister, `have you seen my handbag?'

`No,' she answered flatly, refusing to look up from the television.

Lily looked at her, `I thought Mum and Dad told you to find a job while they're at work?'

`Shut up Lily.'

Lily sighed, walking into the kitchen and picking up her bag that sat on the shelf, next to the post.

At that point, James came down the stairs and walked into the kitchen, fully clad in wizarding robes. She looked at his clothes and reached for her wand.

`What are you doing?' he asked her suspiciously.

`Making alterations.'

He didn't get time to say anything before she transfigured his black robes into a pair of jeans and a turtleneck sweater.

`There,' she looked at him, `now you look presentable.'

A snort came from the other side of the room, making them both turn to the noise. Petunia stood in the doorway, looking at James as if he was an insect that was in desperate need of a squishing.

`Real clothes can't hide the fact that you're both freaks!'

Lily narrowed her eyes at her sister and played with her wand in her fingertips, `Tell me, Petunia, would you like any alterations while I'm just giving them away?'

Petunia sneered before scuttling off into the lounge as Lily grabbed James and dragged him out of the house.

*********************************

The walk to the train station was a definite interesting one. The fact that muggles were everywhere made James nervous, resulting in him looking like an escaped criminal when he kept looking around everywhere. His constant pestering to apperate there faster was slowly but surely driving Lily insane. By the time they had arrived at the station and they'd fought over the timetable to catch the right train, Lily was good and ready to charm something away like she had promised.

On the train they sat opposite each other in silence, which she was glad about while James looked out of the window at England passing by at 70mph.

He turned to look at Lily as she glanced at her muggle watch, `I don't like your sister much.'

`She'll be so upset,' she answered sarcastically, `I think she's really into you.'

James chose to ignore the sarcasm, it had been less than a day that he'd spent with her but it felt like a year already.

`Merlin, does this girl piss me off,' he thought, `she's worse than Wormtail.'

As if reading his mind, Lily looked at him and asked, `Why do you hang around with Sirius and that lot?'

James shifted his gaze to her question, `Why not?'

`Don't do that.'

`What?'

`Answer my question with a question.'

`Sorry your Highness.'

Lily rolled her eyes and sighed, `Well?'

`Coz they're my mates; the Marauders. You know the deal.'

`Hmm,' she mused, folding her arms, `all I see are immature little boys that name themselves considerably more than you actually are. Which is also profoundly sad by the way.'

James acknowledged her coolly as she sat back in her seat with a small smirk on her lips.

`You're lucky I don't hit girls,' he said calmly.

`Why? Because you would kick my ass otherwise?' she scoffed, laughing, `Yeah I can just see that happening.'

James' jaw hardened and his features froze as she continued with the stream of insults.

`And what's with all the nicknames? Does every member get a cute little pet name to go with their imaginary power?'

Lily's eyes lit up and she smirked, `Ooh, do you talk in code?'

James lunged across the space between them, grabbing her throat and pinning her to the seat, his cerulean eyes piercing her deep emerald ones like shards of splintered glass. Lily had sucked in her breath as James had leapt on her, pressing her into the soft material. She was glad the carriage was quite empty suddenly as she made her alarm quite evident in her face and body language.

`Fucking shut up, Evans. You don't know what you're talking about,' he growled in her face.

`Get. Off. Me.' she warned.

`Listen to me Lily!' he seethed, fingers pressing deeper into her soft neck, his breath hot on her face, `Don't even dare to say anything about them in front of me. Do you understand?'

Whether Lily was disorientated by his actions or the fact that he'd used her first name, she didn't know, but she looked hard into his raging hot eyes and leaned forward the inch between their faces to meet his lips. Utterly stunned for a second James pulled away fast from her and she pushed him hard, backwards into his seat.

Lily grabbed her bag as the train pulled into the station and stopped, and she got up fast from the cubicle and strode towards the open doors. James, still thoroughly shocked, watched her leave without actually acknowledging that she was and he paused for a second. When he realised that he was on his own he jumped from his seat and scrambled out of the train.

Stepping onto the hard platform, he looked around but all he saw was muggles. They were everywhere waiting for trains. James scanned the crowd, honing his Seeker skills on finding her. He only had to do it once before he caught sight of her retreating form, heading for the station exit, her wavy red hair swaying behind her.

James sprinted towards her, using his Quidditch skills again to weave and dodge the oblivious muggles, managing to catch her up quickly.

`Lily!'

She ignored him.

`Lily!'

Again, she chose to ignore him. James grabbed her arm hard and spun her around to face him.

`What the hell was that for?' he exclaimed, still latched to her arm in case she bolted.

`It got you off me, didn't it?' she answered flatly.

Lily tugged her arm from his grasp and walked through the exit onto the street, leaving James standing on the platform thoroughly confused and a strange sensation bubbling in the pit of his stomach.

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4. Exasperations

Cruel Summer

When Lily had stormed off she had left James at Kings Cross Station, where it was all remotely familiar as it was where all the students caught the Hogwarts Express. James had decided to have a break from the fiery girl for a while, just to let them both cool off after their little…incident.

He walked around the unfamiliar city streets, not knowing where he was or where he was going. If he had thought there was a lot of Muggles on the way to the train, he was sadly mistaken. The city was full of them. Brimming even. Everywhere he turned they were there. Even though he didn't hate the Muggles, he did feel uneasy to him. They were so different to the Wizards and Witches he knew, and they ways were also equally alien to him.

He rounded a corner and stopped, looking at the buildings, `Ok, I'm sure I've just been here.'

James turned back again, not wanting to think those fateful thoughts. But it was inevitable.

`Ok,' he sighed, stuffing his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans, `I'm lost.'

*************************

Lily was fed up.

She had browsed around a few shops but even looking at the `30% OFF' sign in the window of `Warehouse' didn't shift the guilt she felt.

The little nagging voice in the back of her mind kept telling her how unreasonable she had been.

`Shut up!' the stubborn side snapped, `He deserved everything you said!'

Restraining the nagging guilt momentarily she walked inside the store, her mind filled by colours, textures, and more importantly, sale signs.

Lily had just picked up a tartan style mini-skirt when she felt the air shift behind her and a sharp tap on her shoulder. She turned around fast to see James' smirking face staring back at her.

`Did you apperate here?' she exclaimed, her eyes widening at the thought, `What if someone saw you?'

`Oh, give it a rest,' he snapped, `there's no one around.'

Lily paused for a second then turned back to the rack of skirts, making James shift his gaze to the skirt that she was holding. He took it for her hands and looked at it.

`So, looking Scottish and wearing a kilt is in this summer then?'

Lily spun around and snatched the skirt from his grasp, glaring at him.

`It so happens that these are fashionable now actually, not like you would understand the concept.'

James smirked at her glare, `Hit me where it hurts, why don't you?'

`Oh shut up!' she snapped, turning away and walking to another rack of clothes, `How would you know what a kilt looks like then?'

`I'm not stupid,' he frowned.

`Really,' she whispered, `could have fooled me.'

James noticed she still held the skirt as she picked up more items.

`Are you buying all that stuff?'

`I'm trying them on,' she replied flatly, not bothering to look at him.

James' small `oh' was lost on her as she turned to look at an evening gown that was hanging on a mannequin, in a satin emerald colour. Lily reached out to stroke it and the material flowed through her fingers like water. It was stunning. Gorgeous material pinned together at the waist, flowing down to ripple around the feet. Strapless, she noticed.

`Oh, it's beautiful.'

She completely forgot that James was standing next to her and she gazed at The Dress with desire.

`I'm going to try it on,' she beamed as she flicked through the sizes, looking for her own.

James groaned, `What? It's gonna take us ages for you to try on all this stuff!'

Lily ignored his moans of protest as she selected the right one and made her way towards the changing areas, James following her reluctantly.

She tried on the skirt and other garments first, leaving The Dress until last. James had grunted his opinion at her appearance, too engrossed in the women's lingerie near him to manage any other coherent sound.

Lily couldn't care less that he acknowledged her, let alone expressed his views on her fashion sense, and she went back into the cubicle to change into The Dress. It was a few minutes before she emerged from the changing room and James was seriously getting bored. He was yawning every 5 seconds and checking his wizard watch even more.

He looked up quickly as the curtain was pulled back and Lily stepped out.

James was stunned.

She looked breathtakingly beautiful.

The Dress hugged her curvy figure like a second skin and the green satin brought out the brightness of her eyes.

Lily stepped towards him and ran her hands over The Dress.

`Well,' she sighed, `Bad or good?'

James was silent for a few seconds until he realised he had his mouth open and drool was falling from it. Sitting up straight, he ran his eyes slowly over her body, drinking in the sight, and then looked back at her face.

`It erm…it looks nice.'

`Yeah, it would look nice off her as well.'

Lily looked down at herself and turned to face the long mirror and admiring the picture she made. The Dress was so elegant and beautiful that she didn't notice James standing up and gazing over her back.

`I really love it,' she whispered.

`Get it then,' James said, looking over her again and wishing…

Lily shook her head, `It's too expensive.'

James picked up the tag that rested on her back, gently grazing his fingers over her skin and sending a sharp shock up his arm.

He paused and frowned at the price, `I'll never understand Muggle money.'

Lily snorted and turned around to face him. James stepped back, aware of how close she was, and he needed to be away from her if he didn't want to be in an embarrassing situation.

`If I win the lottery,' she smiled.

`The what?'

She huffed and turned back into the cubicle, `Oh, never mind.'

James sat back in the chair as she disappeared into the changing room. Holding his head in his hands, he thought about Padfoot's comment.

`What Evan's lacks in social skills, she makes for it in body.'

`Well, he's not wrong,' he thought, recalling how her body moved with The Dress and how he'd love to just tear it from her bod…

`Shut up!' he mentally shouted at himself, `It's Evans, plain and boring Evans.'

But no matter how hard he tried to shake away the thoughts, they were taking over his mind. By the time they caught the train back to Lily's house, he was thinking thoughts and imagining things that wouldn't even be put in an 18 movie.

Lily was starting to become concerned with James' behaviour, or lack of it. It was unnerving for him to be so quiet and shifty around her.

`You're such an idiot,' she cursed herself, `you get annoyed when he's loud and annoyed when he's not.'

After he trailed a couple of metres behind her as they were walking to her front door, Lily had had enough.

`Ok,' she snapped and turned to face him, `what's the matter? You've been weird all day!'

James recoiled from her question and muttered something incoherent. Lily huffed in exasperation with the boy in front of her and turned to face the front door. Frowning at the fact that the door was unlocked she pushed the door open.

James following her, she walked down the hall and opened the lounge door. What met her eyes stunned her for a second before her brain acknowledged it.

Sirius, Remus and Peter were sat on her sofa, their eyes glued to the large Television Set that sat in the corner.

They were watching a gardening program, probably oblivious of turning the channel over. But still, if someone had seen them, they'd have thought that it was a porn star who was presenting the show and she'd just revealed her chest.

James spoke before she even thought to, `What are you guys doing here?'

Sirius glanced at him quickly, `Prongs mate! Come and check this out!'

`Unbelievable,' Lily thought, her mind in turmoil, `how dare th…'

But her thoughts were interrupted as James walked past her into the lounge and flopped down onto the sofa.

`What is it?' she heard him ask.

`Dunno, some Muggle show.'

Lily finally came out of her dazed expression and walked over to the four of them.

`Are you brain dead? It's a gardening program!'

All that met her statement was four choruses of `Sssh'. Lily sighed and walked towards the Television Set.

`What are you doing?' Sirius sat up quickly, but she didn't answer.

Lily pressed the black button on the front and the screen went black. Moans of protest and swearing filled her ears as she turned around, and Sirius chucked a red cushion at her. Grabbing the cushion, she walked towards the four 16 year olds.

`What are you doing in my house?'

`Was watching a bit of the old VT,' Sirius sighed, sitting back in the chair, `but of course Miss Head Girl had to have a problem with it.'

Lily looked at the Gryffindor with a dry expression on her face.

She chucked the cushion back onto the sofa, `Ok, one: I think you mean TV, and two: I told you what would happen if you came over.'

`Come on Evans,' Sirius whined, `just because you don't have any mates doesn't mean you have to deprive Prongs of his.'

Sirius flashed her an impish grin and she folded her arms, `Ooh a full sentence? That didn't get you headache, did it?'

`It did a bit baby; I think I need your expert touch.'

James snorted with laughter at Sirius' comeback and they looked at the girl standing in front of them.

`Why again are you here?'

Remus broke the silence, `My Mum chucked us out.'

Sirius shot him a look that told him to shut up.

`Don't worry guys,' James started, `you can stay here.'

Lily looked at James sharply, `Oh can they? Sorry I forgot whose house this was.'

James stood up from the sofa and narrowed his eyes at the redhead in front of him.

`Don't be a cold-hearted bitch, Evans.'

Her lips tightened in anger, `You should be glad I haven't chucked them out already, after they broke into my house!'

At this point Sirius stood up, `We didn't break into your house.'

`Oh what?' she snapped sarcastically, `You just happened to have a key spare?'

`Your sister let us in actually!'

`My sister?' Lily scoffed, `Yeah right, my sister wouldn't let Wiz…Where is my sister?'

Her question cast a deafening silence across the lounge and Sirius sat back on the sofa again, glancing at Remus quickly. Lily stepped towards them, both not meeting her gaze. She looked at them hard, her eyes ablaze with a fiery anger that threatened to take her and everyone in a 5 mile radius.

`Where. Is. My. Sister?'

`Erm…'

`Where. Is. She?' she growled, her voice getting louder.

Sirius nudged Remus, making him look at him and indicating him to tell her.

`Me?' Remus hissed, `Why do I have to tell her?'

`Because…because it's your fault!'

`My fault? You're the one who…'

`Shut up!' Lily yelled, startling them to look at her, `Just tell me!'

Sirius drew a breath, `Well…'

He shifted in his seat, `Erm…well, you know how we like to use magic…for Moony's sake?'

Lily frowned but James seemed to know what he was talking about so he continued.

`Well, the Mug…your sister, she erm…kind of saw it.'

`What?' Lily frowned and she looked at James, who was staring at Sirius in…shock?

`And she fainted,' Peter piped up, earning a glare from both Remus and Sirius.

`What?' Lily shrieked.

Remus stood up quickly, `Listen Lil' she's fine ok? She's in her room, nothing happened to her…much.'

`Oh my god!'

The four Gryffindor's watched the Head Girl turn quickly and sprint out of the room, hearing her run up the stairs. They looked at each other silently and paused, Sirius holding his head in his hands. James was the first to speak.

`Oh well,' he sighed, flopping back down onto the red sofa, `how do you get the Tele thing working again?'

***************************

It had taken nearly a full hour to convince Petunia to unlock the door, let alone come out of it and Lily really felt like collapsing on the floor and crying. Not in sadness but in the sheer frustration of being like piggy-in-the-middle. Her sister on one side and James, and his cronies on the other, pushing from both angles and trapping her in the centre.

`Why do I have to be the one who does everything?' she moaned out loud, as she tried to remove the curse from the kitchen radio.

Sirius and James had decided it would be funny if they went around Lily's house exploring. She had heard their shouts when she was trying - miserably - to persuade Petunia to move the chest of drawers away from the door. Leaving her sister, she ran down the stairs to find they'd freaked out when sound had come out of the speakers, after they had prodded the buttons.

`Get out!' she shouted at them, watching the radio dubiously as smoke started pouring from the CD compartment.

Several more breakages, curses and near-death experiences later, Lily finally told them to leave.

`Come on Lil', we won't touch anything else,' James grinned.

`That's what you said before you nearly broke my computer!' she hissed at him.

`I thought it was a VT!'

Oh. My. God! This must be what going insane feels like! I can't take anymore!

Lily felt mentally exhausted.

It was like baby sitting four 6 year olds at Christmas. They just wanted to be doing everything and she thought she was either going to pass out or have a Nervous Breakdown.

She was sitting in the kitchen looking at her Dad's alcohol cabinet seriously considering the soothing effects when Remus walked in and sat opposite her. She didn't shift at all and chose not to acknowledge him until he waved a hand in front of her eyes.

`Earth to Head Girl?'

She slid her gaze across to rest on him, `What?'

He smiled softly, `I'm sorry Lil' we didn't mean to wreck your house.'

`Let me guess,' Lily sighed, sitting up, `Sirius send you in to tell me that?'

Remus shifted in his seat, `No.'

She smiled at him, he was the only one of them that she could barely tolerate, and she spoke in a tired but amicable tone, `You're a crappy liar.'

He laughed softly and nodded his head.

`Look,' she began, `do me a favour? Just take them out for a while, yeah? They're driving me mad and I think I might just kill someone.'

Remus nodded again and stood up, `You still want me to bring Prongs back?'

She looked dryly at his grinning face, `If I answer that question I might just kill myself!'

-->

5. Under the Influence

Cruel Summer

After Remus had taken James, Sirius and Peter out and away from her, she had had a wonderful - peaceful - time. As soon as they had left, Lily had sat down for 10 minutes just taking in the tranquillity of not having 4 idiot boys around her. She decided that she would make the most of James' absence and she would have a nice big bubble bath that every girl deserved once in a while.

Running the water nice and hot, she filled up the tub and got in. The water came up to her chin as she sunk deeper into its depths and she closed her eyes and luxuriated in its hotness.

Mmmm, I could lay here forever.

The gorgeous lavender scent was slowly soothing away all her stresses and was gently summoning her eyes to close. She obeyed instantly and let the water take her. Drifting into…a…nice…deep…slumber.

It was cold.

`Where am I?' she thought, looking around the white room.

She couldn't see anything apart from the brightness of the white walls.

`Are they walls?'

She looked down at the floor, but there was nothing.

She didn't see anything, not floor, not a bottomless pit; just a void, of time, of vision.

There was a smell as well.

Like burnt flowers.

A backwards autumn.

A nothingness.

`What is this?' her mind asked.

Death?

She laughed in spite of herself, but the sound wasn't there.

Then, as if it had been there all the time, the walls started to darken.

Being imprisoned by a kind of force.

A kind of language.

One she couldn't recognise, one that her mind didn't want her to recognise.

The symbols moved until she realised that the white room was an oval, and the words were its prisoner.

Like her, captive and alone.

They circled around her, waiting and taunting. Wanting her to know and angering because she didn't.

It was too much.

They surrounded her essence, blocking it in until she could feel it pressing, closer against the air that suspended her.

The cold was worse now, biting into her and all she could do was wait until it engulfed her.

She felt the air shift as the language neared, felt its icy breath as it sighed its promise, felt it pulse against her; waiting, always waiting.

The pulse was becoming more significant now and it progressed into a loud beat.

A thumping even; the only sound allowed to exist.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

`Sssh,' she wanted to scream, `shut up!'

Bang!

Bang!

Lily jolted awake, violently sloshing water over the side of the bath tub.

`Shit!' she muttered, looking over the side at the wet floor.

Bang! Bang!

She nearly smacked her head on the side of the wall as the sound reverberated through the bathroom.

`Lily!' Petunia shouted, `Get out of the bathroom now! You've been in it for hours and I need the toilet!'

`Ok!' she snapped back, still startled by the weird dream she just had.

Lily looked at the bath full of cold water, the Lavender bath oil on the surface of it, like a nasty scum.

`Lovely,' she thought out loud and looked at the shower clock.

It flashed 02:14.

Groaning about having to take another bath, she lifted herself out of the tub and grabbed the towel that hung on the rack. She wrapped it around her cold body and secured it in place. Lily looked at herself in the oval mirror, picking up her flannel and just wiping it over her face quickly.

After drying herself off, she changed quickly into her vest top and shorts pyjamas and opened the door of the bathroom.

Petunia ambled in, muttering something about stupid people and time wasting, and Lily walked into the hall and then into the secure-ness of her own room.

Unwrapping the covers, and climbing into the soft sheets, she flopped down onto the mattress.

`Lily.'

She shifted in her bed and turned over, groaning a protest.

`Liilllyyy.'

`Go away,' she grumbled quietly, pulling the covers over her head and burying herself under it.

`Evans, wake up!'

Lily opened her eyes, pulled the covers back and squinted around her dark room. She glanced at her alarm clock, only showing the time about 2 hours after she'd last looked in the bathroom.

Who the hell is that?

She grudgingly got out of her warm bed, walked to the window and opened it. The cold night air hit her hard in the face as she looked down onto the grass. What she saw quickly brought the anger she had felt earlier, up tenfold.

`What are you doing?' she hissed at his grinning face.

James looked back at her, still grinning like a Cheshire cat.

`Hey honey, I'm home!' he declared, exploding in a fit of laughter.

Lily nearly died with anger, `Are you drunk?'

James looked at her and laughed again, `So what if I am? Is the Head Girl gonna give me detention?'

She ignored his stupid comment and hissed at him again, `Would you shut it? What if you wake my parents up?'

`The more the merrier!'

`Just shut up!'

James paused and frowned, `I knew you'd do this, I told Sirius that you would!'

`I'm going to kill Sirius!' she shot at him.

James groaned in his drunken haze and muttered something unintelligent, flopping down onto the grass.

Lily pulled herself back through the window, grabbed her wand that was sitting on her bed table and walked out of her room. As she walked out onto the landing she walked over to her parents room to see if they'd woken, but when she looked through the door they were fast asleep as if nothing had happened. She breathed a sigh of relief before closing the door quietly as she heard James call her name again. She trudged down the stairs and walked to the front door, pulling it open. Lily walked over to James' form lying on her front lawn; he was holding his head and talking to himself.

Idiot.

`Get up,' she hissed, holding her wand in her right hand.

James groaned and looked up at her. He turned over and attempted to stand up, managing the task quite ungracefully.

Watching him stumble about, Lily had decided to change her decision about making him sober. She thought that the hang over he would get in the morning would be ideal punishment for the last couple of days.

Couple of days? It felt 5 years already!

`Just get in the house,' she growled at him, `before you wake up the whole street.'

Lily grabbed his arm as he was about to stumble into her Mother's flower garden, and steered him through the front door.

`Where's Sirius, Remus and Peter?' she asked him as he tripped up the stairs.

`Dunno,' he muttered.

Yeah, why couldn't you have gone with them?

Lily led him to the guest bedroom, opened the door and pushed him inside. He staggered over to the bed and sat down on it, trying to remove his Muggle trainers but failing on the account that he couldn't work the laces. Lily sighed and flicked her wand in his direction, causing the trainers to undo and slip from his feet. James fell back onto the mattress and immediately dropped into sleep.

At the point in time, Lily felt a strong urge to curse him into never being able to sleep again.

She hated him.

And for him to just wreck her sleep and then drift so easily into it himself, felt completely unfair and she felt like he needed to be punished…horribly. Considering the rewarding effects of torture, a yawn broke across her face, and she decided to return to her plotting in the morning.

`Don't worry,' she thought, as she walked back into her room, `I won't forget.'

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6. Maturity

Cruel Summer

That morning James woke up to the smell of cooking.

He turned over on the Muggle bed and opened his eyes slightly. The light coming from behind made him wince and move suddenly.

The room swam.

He fixed his eyes closed and tried to recall the events of last night.

Erm…there was a bar…

James groaned and laid back on the bed, cursing his lack of memory. Attempting to open his eyes again, he looked at the ceiling. It only moved a little now, so he took that as a good sign. He slowly sat up, feeling the pangs of a headache numbly shoot through his head. Getting up even more slowly, he moved over to the mirror and made sure he didn't look as bad as he felt.

The smell wafted under the door again and he looked at his Wizard watch. It was about 10:30 in Muggle time, and James staggered across the room, and walked out the door.

Walking down the stairs - very carefully - he crossed the hall towards the kitchen, from where he thought the smell was coming from.

`It's probably Evans' Mother,' he thought to himself, hearing music playing from inside the room.

James opened the kitchen door.

Looking inside, he saw Lily by the cooker singing along with the radio. It was some Muggle song he didn't recognise. He watched her for a second, her voice in perfect tune to what was playing and he laughed.

`Fuck!'

Lily jumped nearly onto the ceiling as she spun round to glare at him. But what she thought would be a smirking face, was holding his head and muttering curses.

`How's the hangover?' she asked sweetly.

It was his turn to glare at her, `You knew I was drunk? Why didn't you sober me up?'

`Because I'm not your slave!' she spat, `And I think the thing about waking me and the entire neighbourhood at 4 o'clock in the morning deserves some punishment, don't you think?'

James looked at her, `you're an evil bitch.'

`No James, I'm a stupid bitch for even considering that you would be grown up about this whole, `You living in my house' thing!'

`Oh and it's my fault now, is it?' he glared at her.

`Yes! Yes it is your fault! Dumbledore wouldn't have had to make us do this if you hadn't been like you are!'

`And your so perfect are you Lily?'

Lily didn't answer him. She just folded her arms and glowered in his direction.

`You need to mature James.'

He stared at her, his eyes calculating, `You need to get laid Evans.'

With that, he turned and walked out of the kitchen and into the lounge, leaving Lily to boil by the cooker and hurl silent hexes in his direction.

*****************************

Throughout that day, they had kept away from each other; much to Lily's relief. She was seriously considering that torturing plan that she had thought up last night. But she very much wanted to hit him where it hurt. She hadn't forgotten the little promise she had made to herself when James had fell asleep, and was definitely going to follow through with her schemes.

James was totally oblivious of her plots against him, and after his comment about her sex life, she discovered that he didn't know her at all, let alone knew what was going through her head.

He always thought of her as bookish and a loner. Granted she was bookish, but not in the same ways that he thought. And never was she a loner. If he had taken the time to open his eyes and look beyond his arrogant world, he would see that she wasn't at all.

Lily smiled at the thought of him knowing her.

Actually knowing her.

He never would.

James had stayed inside the house that day, whereas Lily had gone outside.

It was the middle of August, and there was no way that she was going to miss the heat wave that threatened to take over England's usually dreary climate.

Sitting outside on the grass, reading a Hogwarts book, she drank in the sunshine. It really did feel good and it evaporated all her anger, leaving just a content and blissed-out Gryffindor in its wake.

Mmm, this must be what heaven feels like.

She placed her book down and laid back, feeling the soft blades brush her skin.

`What am I gonna do?'

Sirius shrugged, `I dunno.'

James had sent an owl to Sirius early that day telling him to apperate over. He had sent the message just after he'd had the argument with Lily that morning and was desperate to see someone that didn't piss him off totally.

Sirius had gladly come over, thinking that being in a Muggle home meant unlimited access to the Television. But James wanted a bit more than just him staring at a glass screen for hours on end. He wanted a way out.

`I want to do something that will ruin her, I mean really ruin her, like destroy her completely!'

Sirius frowned at James and sat back on the sofa. He had listened to his best friend rant on and on about her and frankly he was getting sick of it. If he thought differently, he would believe that James had a little thing for the Gryffindor. But he knew that was stupid. Sirius agreed to help him because he knew James would do it for him, no questions asked.

`You mean like a prank?'

James shook his head, `Not just a prank. Something that will wreck all her stupid illusions of being `The perfect Head Girl'.'

Sirius shifted in his seat and glanced at his friend, seeing the definite shine to them as he read off Lily's torment.

`Well what do you have in mind?'

James paused and grinned evilly, looking at Sirius expectantly. It took him a while until he knew what James was looking like him like that for.

`Me?' Sirius looked at James dubiously, `Why do I have to do it?'

`Well, Moony will think of the morals or some shit, and Wormtail? Yeah right.'

He sat up, `So…let me get this straight. You want me to seduce the girl you hate, just so you can ruin her reputation as Head Girl?'

James paused, thought about it, and then answered, `Yes.'

Sirius sighed in exasperation, `How do you think I'll be able to do that? She's sexually frozen!'

James laughed at his best friend.

`Come on man! I know you; warm her up if she's a bit cold. It'll ruin her! `Prissy little virgin looses it to enemies best friend.' It'll be great!'

Sirius laughed, and then shook his head, `She won't do it.'

`I thought you liked a challenge?'

James was deliberately doing the whole `inverse psychology' thing and it was working brilliantly on his best friend's mind. He was nudging Sirius in exactly the right direction that he wanted, and he was falling for it fast. If James wanted something, he would go out of his way to make sure that his hunger was sated, and this was no different.

`Plus, accomplishing Evans? You'd earn like some kind of award for that. No body's ever done it.'

He laughed at his own joke and Sirius looked at him grinning, `Yeah ok. I'll do it.'

-->

7. A LoveHate Relationship

Cruel Summer

`Oi, Lil!'

Lily opened one eye towards her house and watched James and…Sirius walking towards her. She sighed in exasperation and closed them again, hoping that they would go away. Sadly she was wrong. She didn't know why Sirius was here but she knew it would be nothing good and could tell that the reason they wanted to talk to her, would cost her some thing.

`Probably blood,' she thought to herself as they both towered over her.

`Evans?'

Lily moved her hand up to cover her eyes from the sun, and squinted at them, `What?'

James looked at Sirius, who was looking at the barely-clothed girl in front of him, and then turned back to her.

`I'm going out tonight.'

Lily's face hardened at the thought of being woken again at 4 o'clock in the morning, `Where exactly?'

`Just out to some bars and stuff,' he said flatly.

`Oh really?' she started, feeling the anger rise inside her, `Well, if you come back at 4 in the morning Potter, don't expect to be let in!'

Lily glared at the mock-innocent face that he was wearing, and she nodded over at Sirius, `And what's he doing here?'

`Hey!' Sirius frowned, `He has a name actually!'

She looked at the tall boy next to James, `I think `Pig' works quite nicely.'

Sirius shot James a `No Way' look and James looked at Lily again, `Did you swallow a new batch of poison today or something?'

Lily ignored his comment and lied back down onto the cool grass. The boys shifted next to her, keeping silent; they really didn't know how to handle her wiry temper.

`Are you both going to stand there? Or are you going to leave?'

They chose the former.

When she realised this fact, she opened her eyes and glared at them, `What are you do…'

James cut her off, `We want you to come with us.'

Silence.

More silence.

`Eh?'

James closed his eyes to keep to his plan, and he spoke through gritted teeth, `We want you to come with us.'

Lily frowned, not exactly believing what she'd heard.

Oh, it's one of their stupid pranks that no one understands.

But when she looked at their faces, they weren't grinning.

`Why do you want me to come with you?' she spat.

James looked at Sirius, who stood up straight and knelt down to her eye level. He reached out and brushed his hand down her arm, making her flinch away from his touch.

`I want you there Lil.'

He looked deep into her emerald eyes and she pulled away fast.

Erm, what just happened?

Sirius felt like he was loosing her before he'd even started and he made a desperate attempt, `Please?'

Lily thought she was in some kind of dream and she looked between James and Sirius quickly, not believing, not wanting to believe.

`I don't understand,' she thought out loud.

`What's there to understand?'

Sirius moved towards her and picked up her hand that was resting on her knee. She jerked her hand away from his and stood up; grabbing the towel she had next to her.

`Erm…' she hesitated, holding the towel so it covered her body. Both boys watched in curiosity as their Head Girl, the steadiest girl in the whole of Hogwarts, was turned into a blithering idiot.

James laughed inwardly at his description of her and watched, intrigued, as she became more uncomfortable.

Lily glanced at James.

Then she realised…she was playing right into his sick little trap.

The smirk on his face was evident that she was right where he wanted her, and god did she want to fight back.

So she did.

Lily looked at Sirius for a second then lowered the towel, revealing herself a little more; she decided that two could play that game.

`Ok,' she said softly, stepping towards James' best friend, `I'll go.'

She glanced again at James and the expression on his face was one of amazement and sheer frustration. She smirked slightly in his direction and brushed past him, sauntering to the house.

`Nice bikini,' Sirius called to her as she walked inside the house.

James glared at him, `You're not suppose to be enjoying this!'

`Come on Prongs! I have to seduce this girl; I might as well make the most of it.'

James felt like stamping his foot and demanding that Sirius didn't, but he realised that it wouldn't be exactly socially acceptable. The plan was going the right way but he at least thought that it would annoy Lily just a little. She seemed to be enjoying it.

What is wrong with her? She's so backwards!

Walking back into the coolness of the house, he decided to wait and see what would happen tonight. James had planned to take her to some of the Muggle bars that he'd been to with Sirius and the rest of the group, and he wanted to show her exactly how opposite and prissy she really was.

James laughed to himself, imagining Lily drunk and not in control of her own actions.

`She'll probably pass out after a couple of shots,' he thought, `that I've got to see.'

****************************

What am I going to wear?

Lily rummaged through her clothes - or lack of them - finding absolutely nothing suitable to wear for a club or a bar. She had tried on several outfits but she either looked too uptight or…too uptight.

Why don't I have any slutty clothes? James and Sirius are going to laugh in my face if I go down there looking like someone's Grand Mother!

She held out a pair of tight black trousers and thought that they might do the job, but when she unzipped them she realised why she kept them in the back of her cupboard.

`FOR AGES 13 - 14'

She chucked the trousers onto the bed with a fury.

God sake!

Deciding to leave the bottoms until after, she looked through her tops. They all were either long sleeved, stupidly boring or just not the right thing. Lily sighed, very annoyed with herself for not looking like one of the Slytherin girls. She had always thought how stupid they looked with all their low cut robes and extremely short skirts, but now she definitely wanted to look like them at this point in time.

Flicking through a couple of mini skirts that she had, she wished she had bought that tartan mini that she had saw in `Warehouse' when she went shopping with James.

`Oh that would've been perfect,' she thought as she looked at her own non-perfect ones.

What am I going to do?

She looked over to her desk where her Spell notes were strewn everywhere and an idea hit her.

Transfiguration!

I'll just transfigure my clothes to look the way I want!

She walked over to her desk quickly and looked through the parchments. Finding the correct transfiguration one, she pulled on a shirt and a simple mini skirt. Lily picked up her wand and pointed at her clothes. She imagined the ones that she wanted and spoke the spell clearly, glad that Latin was her forte as well.

She slipped into some small strappy mules and did her make-up expertly in 5 seconds - magic again - and left her hair down in the new `just-got-out-of-bed' look.

Lily walked over to the small mirror, just to check that her hair was the way she wanted. It fell in gentle waves down her back and the silver hooped earrings that she wore gave her a kind of hippy look.

Pleased with her appearance, she grabbed her bag and her wand just in case she needed to use the Petrificus Totalus curse on the two Marauders. She walked downstairs, into the kitchen. She could hear Sirius and James laughing and pratting about in the lounge and she rolled her eyes at their stupid-ness, and also at her own by agreeing to go with them that night.

Lily walked over to the counter, picked up her money that was on the side and placed it in her purse. She decided to put on her most confident face before walking into the lounge. If she went in there looking self-conscious they would notice and it would be that that would be embarrassing.

As she walked into the large lounge the two boys turned to look at the Gryffindor girl.

They were stunned.

It was now that she started to feel self-conscious as they stared at her.

`What?' she growled.

James kept silent as he moved his eyes over his enemy's curvy body. He had been surprised when finding out that she had a body before but now it was different.

She looked…sexy.

It was Sirius that voiced his opinion, `Shit! Who knew that Evans had a body like that?'

Lily narrowed her eyes at him and folded her arms, `I'm standing right here.'

`I know you are baby,' Sirius leered, sitting back in the sofa and never shifting his eyes away from her.

Maybe the clothes were a mistake.

James stood up, his eyes still on the tiny red Cami that held her breasts in, too small to wear a bra underneath.

`Hey!' she snarled, `My face is up here.'

James looked at her, thoughts running through his head…of her…under him…moving…

`Ok, I've gotta stop,' he thought, turning to Sirius who wasn't quite as successful restraining in obvious desire towards her.

James glared at his best friend, who looked at him quickly and stood up, although he never moved his eyes away from her. He was too busy thinking thoughts of having to seduce this girl and all the ways he could try to do it.

A dirty grin spread across his handsome features and she looked at him warily. Lily felt uncomfortable with the way he kept staring at her and was pleased when James said the words, `Ok let's go.'

*****************************

Getting into town was also very interesting. James and Sirius were adamant that they should apperate there, but Lily was sure that they would be seen by Muggles. Both boys, even though desiring her completely, had got very pissed off by her lack of adventure. They weren't used to playing in between the lines and felt it completely alien to start now.

James had glared at Lily and yelled at her a couple of times before she refused to speak to him, which annoyed him even more. Sirius watched between them both as James shouted at her, Lily ignored him and he shouted at her more.

`For fuck sake Lily! Why do you have to be so awkward?'

…

James turned to Sirius after she had ignored him the last time, `Come on we're going.'

Sirius watched his best friend grab the Head Girl and apperate them both to the bar, Sirius following quickly behind.

When they arrived at the bar, Lily wrenched herself from his grasp and glared at him with such a passion that she was sure she would actually blow a gasket. She was furious with him for just taking advantage of her and she grabbed her bag, opening it fiercely.

Lily pulled her wand out fast and pointed it at his chest, her emerald eyes glowing like hot coals, searing through his own.

`Don't you ever…ever touch me again! Do you understand?'

James sneered at her, `Don't start, I'm not in the mood for your temper tantrums.'

Lily's face flushed with a raw and dangerous anger and she turned and strode off in the direction of the club door; her leather boots clomping under her as her feet hit the pavement.

James turned to Sirius who shrugged nonchalantly and walked towards the club as well.

The Head Boy looked after both of them and spoke bitterly, `Oh Lils I'm so gonna bring you down.'

He walked into the club.

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8. My Sweet Land of Dreams

Cruel Summer

The music boomed through the club as James searched the mass of people carefully. He couldn't see either Sirius or Lily over the din, so he pushed his way through the people, to the bar. He ordered a normal Muggle beer and glanced around the room again, watching the Muggles dance and move about in their strange way. They looked so happy and he hated them for that.

That stupid bitch had to go and ruin it!

But the night wasn't over yet, and he thoroughly wanted to take advantage of that. He wanted to see her at her worst and boy was he going to make sure that happened; even if Sirius didn't succeed in what he was doing, he'd find a way.

The bartender placed the pint of beer on the bar-mat in front of the Gryffindor and James turned around to pick it up. Gripping his long fingers around the glass, he took a sip.

Realising he was being gazed at, he turned his face to the left where a blonde haired girl was looking at him intently. The girl didn't blink when James turned to look at her; she held his gaze then moved it down his body.

`Hi,' she said seductively as her eyes reached his face again. She moved towards him, `I'm Becka.'

James looked at the girl in front of him and flashed a smile, `James.'

The Muggle girl was surprisingly pretty as he took in her doll-like features. Bright blue eyes, against golden-blonde hair and rouged lips; the typical stereotype.

He liked it. It was different.

Becka gave off a strong vibe of adolescence and naivety, and for some reason it adhered to James' interest. He could smell the subtle fragrance she was wearing and it intoxicated his senses.

`So…' she whispered, bordering on the verge of pressing her body against his, `What do you…'

Becka was suddenly interrupted as Sirius walked up behind James and slapped him on the back, `Heya mate!'

James jumped quickly and Becka pulled away from him, her small delicate nose wrinkling in distaste at Sirius' destruction of the moment that she and James had shared.

James turned around and glared at his best friend's lack of good timing and Becka sniffed and walked away.

`Who was she?' Sirius nodded towards Becka's retreating form.

`She was about to get very lucky,' James growled back.

Sirius raised his eyebrows and his best friends' scowl and his face broke into a grin, `Sorry Prongs, she did look at bit flaky though.'

James turned around again to look at the Muggle as she proceeded in making another guys dream come true.

`Oh,' James muttered.

`Hey, no worries mate, we'll find you another.'

James glared at him. He didn't know why he was in such a bad mood; he loved these nights out with his best mate/partner in crime and he was completely letting Evans get to him.

Damn her!

`Where's Evans?' James asked, finally realising.

Sirius shrugged his shoulders, `Dunno, that's what I came to ask you about. I can't be seducing her if I can't even see her.'

James didn't know why he was so bothered about Sirius' statement, or the lewd grin that covered his dark features. It was his idea to do this, but why did he feel that his plan was backfiring somehow? There was an emotion he felt, but he couldn't distinguish which one it was or how to rid himself of it. The word `jealousy' flitted through his mind but he discarded that thought immediately.

What the hell have I got to be jealous of? Her? That bitch? No way!

James didn't know what it was. All he knew was that he wanted to get it out of his system as soon as possible, and the perfect solution he came up with was hot, casual sex. What better way was there?

`Are you ok man?'

Sirius' voice brought him back to the club and he looked at him, `Yeah, fine.'

James looked across the room and started to make his way towards the mass of bodies were. Sirius followed him, weaving through the people and noticing where his best friend was headed.

In the middle of the club was a group of girls, they were dancing suggestively to the loud music that thumped through the large speakers on one side of the room. Their movements were tantalizing as they moved together, against each other, and James and Sirius watched them with satisfied grins plastered on their faces. The two boys moved towards them, ready to pounce on the one that took their fancy.

Picking their Muggle girl, the two of them advanced on the group. James ran his palm over the bare back of a slight brunette and turned her gently to face him. The girl lapped up the sight of him and pushed forward, pressing her sinewy body into his. Her dark, chocolate eyes searching his azure ones, delighting in the contrast. She pushed her petite hands up his chest and up to his neck, playing her fingers into the short hair at the top of his neck.

James' eyes ran over the girl, his gaze straying to her lips as she moved them towards him, grazing his neck softly. He moaned softly at the feathery kisses and tilted his head back slightly, pressing her into him more.

James turned his face to the side, his eyes quickly roaming over the club and moving back to the girl in front of him.

He stopped.

Turning back to the rest of the club, the Muggle girl stopped and looked at him.

But James didn't care, he watched in horror at the display across the room. Pushing the girl away, he looked wildly around for Sirius and seeing him, arms wrapped around a small blonde girl. James strode up to him, untangling the girl from his grasp and ignoring Sirius' colourful protests.

`Shut up will you!' James growled at him and pulled him to where he was standing with the brunette.

Pointing across the room, Sirius followed the direction of his finger and raised his eyebrows.

`Is that…'

`Evans.' James finished, `What the fuck is she doing?'

Both Gryffindor boys watched; one in horror and one in interest as the Head Girl, as she'd been labeled, danced erotically with a group of Muggle boys. The boys seemed as though Christmas had come early as the beautiful redhead danced with them. Lily was being held by them, pressing her close against their arousal that she was the cause of.

The music filled her senses, enchanting her, loosing her to just them and the movements.

She was in bliss.

Lily was dancing at that point in time with a very sexy, brown haired boy. She was pressed against him, his fingers gripping her waist tightly as he moved her hips against his, gazing into her emerald eyes. She thought she might collapse if he hadn't got a tight grip on her, holding her as if she was a beautiful dream and didn't want to wake up.

Lily felt so good with these boys, she felt special and desired, which she'd never felt before. Winding her arms around the boys neck, she felt him run his hands up her back and down to slightly graze her skirt up, exposing more of her thighs.

Mmm, I could get used to this.

The boy looked down at the girl in front of him, his eyes searching her body that was moving accordingly with his administrations. He ran his hands up her back and under the sheer material of her camisole top, caressing the soft skin he found there and making her moan against his fingertips. Tilting her face to his, he slowly grazed a kiss across her full lips. Lily's eyes fluttered closed as he placed tiny kisses over her lips, just touching them, making her craving increase and mewing noises escape her throat.

Then Lily was ripped from the Muggle boys' grasp and pulled away.

The idea of speech left her mind quickly as shock took over.

`Stay away from her,' she watched James growl at the boy she was dancing with.

Then speech found her, `James, what the hell are you…'

James rounded on her fast, making her step back quickly, `Shut up!'

`How was I supposed to know she was dating you?'

Lily quickly ended that assumption, `He's not my boyfriend!'

`Lily, I told you to shut up!'

Another one of the boys in the group stepped towards Lily and took her arm, `She can make her own decisions.'

James and Sirius glared at the Muggle who was holding their Head Girl. If looks could kill, Lily thought that the boys would all be brown bread by now.

`Get your hands off her.'

Lily was worried, she'd never seen the two Marauders like this before and she decided that she didn't really want to again either.

`Oh,' the boy said, `and what are you going to do about it?'

He stepped behind Lily, running his hands over her shoulders. Sirius looked at James, he didn't know why his friend had a problem with Lily dancing with the group of Muggles, but when he had flew across the room after the boy had kissed her, Sirius knew that he had to back his best mate up, otherwise James would have gone over there and got his ass kicked.

The boy behind Lily had a crude grin across his face, watching the two Gryffindor's anger increase dramatically as he played his fingers over her collarbone then quickly down her breasts.

Lily gasped and pulled away.

James grabbed her wrist, holding it in a hard lock and he glared at her. Lily tried to pull away but it was impossible to break from his strong grasp.

`James let me go!'

He paused for a second then dragged her from the group, through the club and out the exit, all the time Lily struggling from him to release her.

James let her go as they got onto the pavement in front of the club. Lily pulled away from him and held her wrist, blue bruises beginning to form on her pale skin.

`What the fuck was that?' she screamed at him.

James didn't say anything and Sirius just watched silently.

`James?' she shouted, `What is wrong with you?'

All reason had gone from her mind as she yelled at him, but James kept silent. Lily stopped shouting and panted, feeling physically tired after the one-sided argument.

`Are you finished?' he asked casually.

Anger flew up into her mind, and she stepped forward and slapped him hard across the face. His head snapped to the side and he breathed in angrily, his jaw hardening at the effort of not slapping her back.

`You fucking bastard!'

Lily ignored the sting in her palm and turned around and stormed down the street.

James shifted his eyes to see Sirius watching her walk away, he sighed and Sirius then looked at him.

He blinked and turned his frosty sight to the girl that was strutting down the dark London street, `I'll…erm…I'll see you later Padfoot.'

James turned and jogged towards Lily; her hair blowing behind her as she continued to walk away. He came up behind her and grabbed the top of her arm, she tried to wrench away but he held her firm.

`We're going home!'

`No!' Lily spat, `I'm going home, you can go fuck yourself!'

James grabbed her and shook her, `Hey! Shut the hell up would you! You can be such a mouthy little bitch Evans.'

Fury hit her hard, turning her red, `Who the hell do you think you are?'

Lily went to grab him, to hit him, to punch him, anything that would result with him in agony, but he held her arms, restraining her from doing exactly that. She fought hard against his control over her.

What the hell is going to make her stop?

Lily barely recognized the effects of apparation as she tried to grab him around the throat. James had taken them quickly back to Lily's lounge in her house and he was sure that she didn't know that he had. She was too busy trying to kill him.

James had had enough. He pushed her backwards, making her bump into the sofa and nearly topple onto it.

`Hey!' he warned as she went to lunge at him again, `Enough!'

Lily stopped quickly, realising how immature she was being. She lifted her hands up to her face, willing the tears not to come. She was mentally wiped out, completely exhausted with the whole living situation and the continuous fights - verbal and physical. James watched her, his face contorted in a frown of uncertainty. She sighed and looked at him, meeting his gaze.

`What did you think you were doing at that club?'

Lily was dumbfounded, `Me? Who gave you the right to determine who I dance with?'

James turned around and folded his arms, Lily spoke crisply, `And from where I was standing you seemed very occupied with the slut that you had draped over your chest.'

James rounded on her, `Noticing who I'm with now are you?'

`Only so I can use it as blackmail later.'

He sneered at her comment and she looked at him in disdain, `Why did you do that? Seriously, I want to know.'

James looked at the girl in front of him, noticing her auburn hair, tussled and laying against the pale skin of her chest. He wanted to just reach out and feel the soft strands fall between his fingers, feel the natural curls brush his palms, feel the silky texture against his lips as he kissed…

What the fuck…? What the hell was that?

Lily looked at the black haired boy in concern, `James?'

Oh god!

James looked at her, the anxiety evident in her face. He watched her full, red lips form his name, and felt the delicate sound reverberate through his mind.

`She is so beautiful. Why haven't I seen it?' he thought.

Because you have, and not believed.

`But how could I not have?'

I want to kiss her. I need to kiss her.

`James, are you okay?' Lily spoke softly, not wanting to startle him.

The Head Boy looked at the Head Girl, realising how different this would make everything; one of the most rebellious boys in Hogwarts, falling for the notorious `Good Girl'.

Falling for her?

Shit!

I gotta get out of here.

Lily watched James glance at her quickly with a look that she couldn't make out, turn and walk out of the room. Hearing footfalls up the stairs signaling James going to his room, she slumped down onto the sofa.

`What the hell was that about?'

She sat for about 15 minutes trying to figure out what had made the Marauder so…un-Marauderish and walk off. After no success, she curled up against the sofa cushions and let sleep take her away into the land of dreams.

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9. Invisible Embraces

Cruel Summer

The sun streamed into the lounge through the Patio doors, lighting up the dark room until it shone over Lily Evans' face, making her eyelids flutter open. She groaned at the rude awakening and tried to turn over with much less success. She couldn't comprehend why she could hardly move until her thoughts flew back to last night.

Slept on the sofa. Okay, not in a straitjacket thank god!

Lily blinked again and tried to focus her tired eyes on something solid, the room slightly swaying as she did. She looked over to the large Grandfather Clock that sat on the other side of the room, watching the second hand tick by and quickly reassuring herself that it wasn't the hour hand that was moving fast.

What the hell did I drink last night?

The old clock said 9 hours and 25 minutes and Lily moaned at how early it was to wake up from a night out. Damning the sun rising over the tall trees in her back garden, she attempted to get up and swing her legs around to rest her feet on the soft carpet. Feeling only a slight twinge of a headache, she stood up and adjusted her clothes that had crumpled up as she slept.

She looked at her shoes that laid haphazardly on the floor as she walked past them into the kitchen. The kitchen was also very light as the sun shone into it, and she mumbled how awful she must look in the glare.

Lily opened the kitchen cupboard to get the Special K, made her breakfast and sat at the large oak table. Deciding to have a quick shower after eating, she quietly made her way up the stairs into the bathroom.

The large room was warm as she undressed quickly, throwing the transfigured clothes onto the floor and turning the shower to hot. Stepping inside, she revelled in the hot water pulsing against her back. Lily closed her eyes and moved her head under the jets, making her hair wet and turning the colour a dark red.

Mmm, I'd stay here forever if the hot water wouldn't run out.

Massaging the cherry smelling shampoo into her hair, Lily thought about last night.

`What was the matter with him?' she thought to herself.

She didn't know the answer.

Rinsing the shampoo from her hair, she reached for her fluffy, blue towel and wrapped it around herself. She brushed her teeth at the sink and walked from the bathroom, and into her own room.

***********************

What the fuck am I gonna do?

James laid on top of his bed trying to find a rational explanation for the object of his desire. He was driving himself crazy thinking about this, not wanting to believe that this was actually happening to him. He was coming up with stupid excuses and annoying himself even more with not being able to find a good one.

`Maybe she put a spell on me?' he thought.

What? How lame is that?!?

`Well, why do I want her then?'

I dunno! I'm just the voice in your head!

James sighed in exasperation and pressed his head into the soft pillow. How stupid was this? Lily hated him with a vengeance, there's no way that she'd even consider considering about it. He closed his eyes firmly and breathed out.

`Why can't I stop thinking about her?'

Because you like it.

`No I don't!'

Yeah you do! Just give in, you know you want to.

James thought about giving into the feelings for her. Part of him wanted it desperately, needed it like his body needed air, but the other percentage was pulling away ferociously, not wanting to stop to listen to reason. He felt torn between these two intense emotions, his body being pulled in two directions, but his mind stationary, trying wildly to decide which way to go.

You want her, there's no way you can deny that. She's just like forbidden fruit…just waiting to be plucked.

James stayed silent and listened to the voice, whose ideas were suddenly becoming extremely appealing.

Remember what she looked like when she was dancing? How her body moved in those tight clothes? When you wanted to tear them away from her? She was so sexy; you could've taken her right there. Right on the dance floor, pressed up against the wall. So sweet.

James sighed in arousal, and closed his eyes at the mental picture of her, joined with him, moving together as one. Her soft neck arched as he took her, kissing it delicately as she moaned and whimpered in his ear.

`Oh god,' he whispered.

Go on…pretend it's her.

James swallowed and slowly moved his hand under his shirt, gently playing his fingers across his stomach. Sliding his touch over the waistband of his black boxer shorts, he moved his hands under it. He was already hard as he ran his fingers over his length gently, imagining. His cock jumped quickly as he caressed his fingertips over the tip, then stroking down to the base, softly stroking his balls.

James gritted his teeth and kept his eyes firmly shut at the sensations. He could feel her, smell her, hear her moaning next to him.

Oh fuck Lil.

He gulped at the vivid images his brain was creating. Pressed his head deep into the soft feather pillow, feeling her hand as his, stroking him, whispering in his ear, torturing him with the scenes she would play out with him. He could feel her delicate butterfly kisses, grazing the skin at the base of his neck. Felt her lips tease his senses, gently intertwining the sound of his name into the kisses that fluttered over his body.

The grip on his hard manhood increased as he felt the desire to be inside her intensified. James found himself slowly rocking into his hand, the image of it being her flooding his brain, and her name as breathy moans, escaping his lips.

James licked his lips briefly, tasting her on the air. She submerged him under an invisible embrace, her scent acting as her form, and James was sure she was there, with him, guiding him.

Mmm, Lily…god, I want you.

His mind was full of her, not a shard of his brain conflicting against his current actions. James caresses deepened more, his hand slightly sticky with pre-cum, making the images of her sheathing him seem more real. Wetness enveloping him, moving around him; an intensity of clenching and convulsing. Moaning and whimpering, interlacing his name with her rapture. James could feel her digging her fingernails into the supple skin of his shoulders, the pleasure overriding the pain and sending his mind into oblivion.

`Lil…oh baby…uh yeah.'

James grasped his throbbing cock, rubbing the sensitive skin firmly and gasping in time to the rhythm of his thrusts. Pushing into his wet palm; brushing the tip continuously, and whimpering at the contact.

The thoughts replayed in his mind; her swaying to the music in the club, the way she moved, her fiery temper.

James wanted it all.

***************************

Lily dressed quickly into a small denim skirt with a light blue turtle-neck sweater. She only applied a small amount of make-up and a bit of clear lip gloss; wanting the casual look. Quickly checking herself over in the small mirror, she realised she hadn't seen Petunia that morning. This was quite strange for Lily, as Petunia was usually the first one in the household up, giving her sister the advantage of ridiculing Lily's bed hair when she came down for breakfast.

Fastening her silver Muggle bracelet that her parents had given her for becoming Hogwarts' Head Girl, she walked out of her bedroom and walked down the hall and knocked on Petunias door. Not hearing her sisters' evil scorn, she knocked a bit louder…but still there was no answer.

`Petunia?'

Lily sighed, `Petunia, I'm coming in.'

Lily reached for the handle, turned it and pushed the door open. The room was empty. She looked around her sisters' obsessively neat bedroom, becoming slightly worried at her absence. Lily stepped inside and walked towards the large chest of drawers in the corner. Some of the drawers were open and stripped bare.

What is going on?

Lily frowned and checked the cupboard. The clothes inside were also gone except for a couple of things that she was too old for. Her mind whirring into action, she strode over to the bed and got down onto her knees, pulling the valance sheet up and looking under the bed frame.

The suitcase was gone.

What the hell…?

Lily sat up and paused. Where had Petunia gone? She stood up again and gazed around the vacant room, biting her lip.

Mum's gonna kill me, she told me to look after the house while she was at work but I completely forgot about the sister!

Lily walked over to the vanity table near the door and looked at Petunia's things. Make up that had never been used lay neatly, perpendicular to the edge of the desk, and brushes that hadn't got a single hair in, lay next to it.

Anger began to lace the worry, `Stupid bitch!'

Lily turned around and surveyed the room again; her eyes became drawn to the little bedside table. A small, folded piece of paper lay propped up against the little, pink light, next to the clear glass that her sister would religiously fill with water before bed.

She walked to the table and picked up the paper. On the front, `Lily' was written in Petunia's usual scrawl. Lily unfolded the note quickly and started to read…

`Lily,

I have decided to leave the house for the time whilst Mother and Father are at work. Also, if the family persists in keeping another wizard in the house, I will not return until the matter has been amended. I will be staying with my friends so I would be much obliged if you didn't try to do anything about it. Additionally, I was very disconcerted in finding several male wizards in my own house the other day, and will make sure that Mother and Father will know everything about the subject.

Cordially,

Petunia Evans'

Lily was stunned. How dare her sister just run away and leave her?

For God sake, what is wrong with my life?

She screwed the piece of paper up in rage and chucked it into the small waste-paper basket next to the door. She realised she was stuck with James on her own and groaned inwardly. She could just stand it when she thought she had back up but now…now she'd probably kill herself.

`Or him,' she mused with a grin.

What Sirius decides to come over and they manage to wreck the house? Oh my god, Mum's gonna kill me if something happens to it! Nah, if that happens, I'll just go ahead with my suicide plan.

Lily laughed at herself and walked towards the door. She would just have to accept this, her parents would be back from work soon and then they could deal with her stupid sister in their own way. She opened the door and stepped out, closing it carefully behind her. Lily looked at the door that was adjacent to Petunia's.

God, is he still asleep? Lazy git!

She walked up to the bedroom door quietly and pressed her ear to the wood, listening for sounds of movement. Lily couldn't hear a thing and she frowned. Just as she was about to pull away and curse him of being an idle slob, she heard a sound.

What was that?

It sounded faintly of a gasp and she listened harder. It happened again. Lily pulled her ear away and frowned, trying to identify it. Then the idea struck her.

He's having a dream.

Lily laughed to herself, `Aww is poor little Jamesie having a nightmare?'

She covered her mouth, trying to stifle a laugh that threatened to spill over her lips.

This I gotta see!

Lily reached for the door handle and turned it, careful not to wake him up. Turning it as far as it would go; she started to push the door even more carefully, until it started to shift backwards. She did it gradually; making sure no sound was heard from the movements. Lily pushed it open a couple of inches and moved her gaze until she could view his bed perfectly.

What she saw shocked into a state of disbelief and immobilised her ability to move.

James was laying on his bed, rubbing himself vigorously and moaning in ecstasy. All Lily found she could do was watch in a stunned haze. He was groaning loud as he caressed his hard cock and mumbling things that were unintelligible to Lily's ears.

Oh My God! Why am I watching this? I can't move!

`Mmm, yeah.'

James was rocking his hips hard against his hand, pumping it in a rhythm that matched his soft whimpers. She watched, as the muscles in his legs and stomach clenched and relaxed in the same time as his thrusts. His movements were fast and unpredictable, just wanting to sate this obvious hunger inside him. Wanting the sweet release that only his erotic actions could satisfy.

Lily was shocked to find herself breathing erratically. She felt that the room was becoming hotter and her clothes were becoming more restricting. She gripped the door handle, her nails biting into the soft wood.

Oh god, I'm getting turned on by this!

James gasped loud, unravelling a euphoric coil of heat that passed through her body. She felt herself gasp and thought James would catch her but he continued in sating his desire.

Lily watched, captivated. She thought it was the most sexiest thing she'd seen in her life. She was revelling in James' pleasure, using it for herself, and God did it feel good. She could see the sheen of sweat over his chest and face, it looked delicious. Lily was a little shocked in thinking about James in this way, she knew that he was gorgeous, but everyone knew that. She also knew that he was insanely immature, which was why she found it hard to comprehend that this was him. Here.

Lying on the guest bed in her house…

Looking like an adult…

Looking so sexy…

Oh god, what am I doing?

Lily looked back at the Marauder, his moans becoming very frequent and his thrusts matching the same pace. A hot rush of wetness came from inside her as she realised he was about to…

`Mmm, I'm gonna come,' James whimpered to his imagination.

She watched as he pumped wildly and held the bed sheets in a white knuckle grip, swallowing continuously. Lily panted quietly, her legs threatening to give, and increasing her grasp on the doorframe.

James felt himself tighten; squeezing his eyes shut, then uncoiling rapidly.

`Uhhh, Lily!'

Lily watched James, constrict on the bed then shudder violently, hot come surging from his throbbing manhood and him moaning her name repeatedly as he did. She watched the thick, white fluid, cover his stomach and the bed sheets, and feeling a significant throb in between her legs. Hearing her name repeatedly on his lips in the throws of orgasm overwhelmed her completely. She didn't understand, couldn't understand. Was he attracted to her?

Well after that little performance, I don't think I'll have trouble answering that question.

Lily looked at James' exhausted form, lying on the covers, his come covering the middle section of his body. She frowned and shook the thoughts from her mind, watching his breathing even out again, the rise and fall of his chest becoming slower.

`I can't do this,' she thought glancing at him, his eyes closed and his sooty eyelashes lying against his flushed cheeks.

Lily moved backwards, catching the door and moving it suddenly.

The sound of carpet against wood sounded loudly in the now quiet room.

She cringed as she felt in slow motion, his hot gaze move towards the door.

James felt sick as he saw her standing there.

Watching him.

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10. Dangerous Looks & Provocative Touches

Cruel Summer

James turned to the door, catching her gaze, and Lily blanched, twisting away from his shocked face. She slammed the door and fled down the stairs, rational thought leaving her mind.

James had frozen, not being able to move as his brain overloaded with thoughts.

How long had she been standing there?

Why was she watching me?

Oh my god! She was watching me!

The Marauder groaned into his hand and rubbed his eyes.

Why? Why did she have to see me now?

He sighed and got off of the bed, walking over to the drawers. Pulling out some of the Muggle clothes he had bought, he dressed quickly after using his wand to remove all the traces of his actions, thinking of ways that he could speak to her after this. He tried not to think of her never speaking to him again as he pulled on a pair of jeans, fastening them without really thinking about it.

James paused and ran over the situation in his mind, cringing slightly in embarrassment.

`What am I gonna do?' he whispered.

James reluctantly walked towards the door and opened it quietly, shutting it behind him. Cursing the creaky floorboards, he made his way down the stairs and stepped into the hall.

Sound was coming from the kitchen and he could tell it was her. She was washing the dishes, he realised as he walked into the room. Lily had her back to him, rapidly scouring the plates and trying to rid her mind of watch she'd just witnessed. She wouldn't have cared exactly if it hadn't affected her…and he didn't moan her na…

`Lily?'

SMASH

Lily dropped a china plate into the bowl and it smashed as it hit the others that were in there. Ignoring the broken plate, she paused, not turning to look at him. In fear that if she did, she might do something that she would…regret.

`Don't.' she whispered, `Please…just don't do this.'

James looked at the girl, her auburn hair shining in the light from the sun. He blinked and shook his head, trying to keep on the right track. Moving further in to the room, Lily straightened up, hearing his actions and keeping her guard.

`How long were you standing there?' he said softly.

Lily hissed to herself and shook her head slightly, as if trying to stop his voice penetrating her thoughts. Lily also didn't know the answer to his question. Time seemed insignificant while she was watching him, and she felt herself liquefy against the scrutiny of his gaze on her back.

Why is he doing this?

Does he enjoy seeing me like this?

Lily heard him shift behind her again, and she closed her eyes firmly. The vision wouldn't stop blurring her thoughts. It was as if it was burned into her retinas; like she'd stared at a light for too long and the picture was still visible when she looked away.

A hand touched her shoulder and she spun around to face the scruffy haired Marauder. Her breath caught in her throat as they looked at each other. James eyes searching her face and Lily's like a deer caught in the headlights.

`God, I want to kiss her,' he thought to himself.

But before he could lean in, she broke from his gaze and twisted out of the way of him. James looked at her as she eyed him cautiously.

`Lil…what are you doing?'

She folded her arms, bit her lip and shrugged in his direction. Lily literally didn't know, she had never been in this situation before and she decided that she didn't like the uneasy feeling that it caused.

She could feel his gaze on her, and somewhere in her mind, she could hear him moaning her name over and over.

Oh god!

Lily looked at him again, his black hair falling scruffily over his head and his blue eyes under thick lashes, piercing hers. She had to look away again. She couldn't stand this.

`Did you like watching me?'

A hot flush spread over her cheeks and she looked down at the floor. Lily heard him chuckle, moving towards her, and she frowned slightly. He was in front of her before she realised and she looked up into his face, his eyes now dark with lust and roaming over her body, slowly drinking in the sight of her.

Lily knew that look as it passed over her chest and down to her bare legs; she knew that he was mentally undressing her.

She was going to put a stop to it.

Before James knew what she had done, Lily had pulled her wand out and was aiming it at his throat.

`W-wha…' he spluttered.

`Listen.' she growled, holding her wand steady, `You were right about me…that I liked to watch it…but that's where it stops James Potter! I don't know what's going through your twisted little mind but it's sure as hell not going to happen!'

Lily paused, glaring at his staggered expression and moved out of his way, moving out of the kitchen.

************************

A week passed by with James and Lily staying fairly out of each others way. They had come to realise that by not talking or arguing, kept them reasonably at distance of each other, which came gladly to Lily. She wanted nothing more than to forget completely James' little bedroom incident and pretending he wasn't there did help a little.

But it didn't stop the dreams.

A couple of nights ago, she had had a very vivid dream of him. But this one included her for some reason, but not her real self. It was as if she was watching the display on the other side of the room. No matter how much she tried to stop her other self, there was no change. Lily also found that she couldn't stop watching the other Lily and James either.

The real Lily had woken up in a cold sweat, her legs tangled in the bed sheets and her pillow somehow on the floor of her room. The dream had really freaked her out and she was scared of going back to sleep, unsure if it would repeat itself. This had happened on many occasions throughout the week and she was starting to get annoyed. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy them; it was because she did, and these feelings were strange and alien to her, as it was him she was dreaming about.

Why can't everything go back to normal? Why can't he just hate me again?

But what she didn't realise was that James did hate her, he hated her with a passion so strong, it was liable to explode every time he was near her. However, this was a different hate to the one he felt before. He hated her because she hated him. James knew it didn't make any sense, but what does in this life? She rejected him, so for this he hated her more than ever before, and he also felt that it was more dangerous than before too.

But for James, the dreams were a god send. It was the only way he could have her the way he wanted and with her consent. It was also a way to rid himself of the knot of sexual frustration that coiled inside him every time he caught sight of her. James was slowly driving himself insane, but Lily was totally ignoring him. Since the event in the kitchen, she had kept to murmuring 1 syllable phrases or words, and this was only in the extreme cases if she had to engage in conversation with him.

Lily had decided to do some spring cleaning for her Mother and Father seeing as there was nothing else better to do anyway. With Petunia refusing to return home, her Mother really needed some stress relief. Her and her Father had gone out that night seeing as it was the end of the week. They often spent time alone. The quietness of an empty house and cleaning also helped Lily's mind from straying to a certain black haired boy and she appreciated it immensely. He'd been plaguing her mind constantly and she'd just managed to get him out. This was not a good time for James to waltz into the room. But naturally, he did.

He stopped quickly, however, when he caught sight of her bent over the coffee table, and his brain forgot to from words as he mumbled something intelligible.

Lily turned quickly after she realised he was there and snarled, `What?'

James looked away quickly and took a deep breath. He knew he had to ask her, and since it was tonight that he wanted Sirius over, so he better ask her before he turned up.

He met her scowl, `Erm…Lil…can you do me a favour?'

He was trying to do his best and talk suitably, but his words managed to have a small strangled sound when he said her name. Lily frowned and narrowed her eyes at the shifty looking Gryffindor.

`What?'

Pleased that it had gotten this far, James continued, `Well, erm…I wondered if you would erm…allow me to have someone over.'

Lily paused and stood up, her eyes never moving from their fixed contortion of distain, `Who is this person then?'

`Padfoot,' he said gently.

`Why? So you could trash my house again? I don't think so James!'

`We won't trash it!'

`Yeah right,' she muttered and turned away.

`Please…I promise we won't.'

Lily stopped, folded her arms and looked at him. He had that puppy-dog look on his face, and she glared back at him; wiping it off quickly. She decided how pathetic he looked standing there, pleading with her. Lily didn't want Sirius around her house again; he was so utterly clueless about the Muggle way of life.

I mean, James is too, but Sirius takes it to extremes!

She realised in that split second that, that's how he is about everything. Makes sense.

Pausing for a second, she spoke, `Fine, I'll let him come over…but with one condition…Remus comes over too. He's the only one that can control both of you when I'm not there. And he has the most manners.'

James felt like telling her that Moony wasn't just books and homework like she made out, but he refrained from that quickly.

`Great!' he beamed, `They'll be coming over in a couple of hours.'

Ok. Ok. Don't get mad. Of course, it figures that he went and asked them anyway even if he hadn't asked her yet. It's obvious. It's James for God sake!

`You…you already invited them?'

Shit! Shit!

James looked at her, `Erm…'

Lily turned and walked into the lounge, cutting him off mid-sentence; she knew all of what he was going to say and she didn't want to hear it.

****************************

James was right about Sirius being a couple of hours. He turned up on the doorstep, ringing the bell constantly, the novelty apparently not wearing off. That was the first sign to Lily that it was going to be a long night. Remus had apperated in just over half an hour later, bringing a bottle of Firewhiskey with him. Lily frowned as he handed her the wizard alcohol, thinking he was the least person she would have thought to bring this.

Lily wasn't arguing that he had though. He could take over the baby sitting for a while, while she poured whiskey down her throat.

Before he had arrived, she'd had to sit through, what seemed like hours of pranks, jokes, teases, jeers and worse of all an awful game show on TV that Sirius and James thought was the best thing that existed on the planet. They had sat there, making up their own ridiculous answers to the Muggle questions.

Unscrewing the cap on the glass bottle and taking a large gulp, she flopped down onto the sofa again and eyeing the three Marauders with the look of a thousand daggers.

`Hey Evans, what is this?'

Sirius' question prompted her to focus her attention onto the Television screen. The screeches and shouts of people on the stands, flags and banners everywhere, and little people running on the screen, it could only mean one thing.

`It's a Football Match,' she said lazily.

Sirius looked back at the screen and raised his eyebrows, `It's kinda like a Quidditch Match.'

Lily glared in his direction, `It's nothing like a Quidditch Match!'

`Course it is! Well, `cept for brooms, but you've still have to get the ball into the hoop.'

She rolled her eyes, `What about bludgers…the snitch…seekers…and the fact that it's in the air?'

Sirius sneered at her and turned back to the screen.

`Prongs, could still manage to flatten those guys, even without a broomstick! Look at them, they run like Crabbe and Goyle!'

Lily tuned the voices out of her living room, preferring her own little world. She took another long sip of the Firewhiskey, feeling it burn a trail of flames down her throat and into her stomach. The heat felt soothing, it took her away like she wanted, drowned out the Marauders until they were like that faint ringing in your ears after you've spent a night out at a club.

She rested her head against the cushions on the sofa and thought about the new year at Hogwarts. She was going to be Head Girl; it was her dream-come-true ever since she read about it in Hogwarts, A History. She had worked so hard for the admirable title. And the new Head Girl was sitting on a Muggle couch in Surrey, drinking Firewhiskey and listening to the most idiotic boys in Hogwarts comparing Football to Quidditch!

Lily groaned and looked back at the three Gryffindor's, downing another mouthful of the disgusting drink. Remus looked at her as she swallowed it.

`Are you gonna drink all that Lil?'

James and Sirius looked at her. The drink had made a pink tinge brush her normally pale cheeks and give her sweet, innocent look.

`Shut up Remus,' she murmured.

Sirius chuckled at her, `Aww does Lilykins want to drink with the big boys?'

Lily shifted her gaze over to his face, `Big boys? You obviously think high of yourself.'

`Ouch,' he grinned, his dark eyes glittering with amusement, `the kitten still has claws…even after a few drinks.'

Lily's glare became more fixed as she looked at him, `Keep talking and I might let you feel them.'

`Anytime baby,' he smirked, patting his lap.

She rolled her eyes and glanced at James. His expression surprised her. It was one of complete anger, his jaw was set and she could nearly feel the pulse in his temple, throbbing inside his head.

She looked back at Sirius who was still watching her, a grin touching his lips.

`Whatever Sirius, like hell I'd even let you.'

Not moving his gaze from hers, he whispered, `Spoilsport.'

Lily wrenched her eyes away from his and looked at the glass bottle in her hands; it suddenly becoming very interesting. Sirius was making her feel strange, his lingering looks was making her skin feel hot under her clothes. It wanted her to rid herself of them.

Maybe it's the Firewhiskey. It can't be real. It wouldn't be. I don't like Sirius like that…do I?

Lily sneaked a look at them all; Remus was looking back at the TV, James seemed to be doing the same although the rage still flicked over his features. When she looked at Sirius, she blanched. He was looking at her, his eyes hooded with desire, and when he caught her looking, he ran his tongue over his lips suggestively.

Oh. My. God!

He smirked silently at the conflict in her mind, running his gaze over her bare legs to where they disappeared under her skirt.

`Mmm, god she looks so good,' he thought as he watched her shift in her seat, the result from his uncomfortable stares.

Lily tried to keep her focus on the tedious television program, but her body seemed to be thinking something else. She could feel it every time he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. She felt it every time his eyes burnt into her. She felt exposed…naked even. Naked to his willing stares.

I have to get out of here.

Lily plucked up the courage to stand up from the sofa. Where the Firewhiskey had travelled through her body, it had rooted itself in her legs and when she stood she stumbled a bit. Both Remus and Sirius went to grab her, to stop her falling but she flapped them away. She was a little surprised that James didn't, but she thought nothing really about it as he kept his eyes fixed on the large TV. She felt Sirius' gaze on her legs as she walked out of the room and made a mental note to herself never to wear miniskirts again if she saw him.

Retreating into the safety of the kitchen, she walked over to the worktop, placed the bottle onto it and rubbed her eyes.

`What time is it?' she thought as she looked at the old rural clock that hung above the sink.

It read 9.40 nearly.

God, how did it get so late?

Lily walked back to the kitchen table; she could still hear the Muggle program. It was filling the silence of the room easily; taking form over the absence of speech. She was glad that she wasn't still in the room with them. Sirius was seriously making her uncomfortable. Lily didn't know why she was bothered about it so much. She had had guys look at her before obviously, but she couldn't place her finger on what the problem really was. Maybe it was the alcohol…she seemed to be blaming a lot of things on that tonight. It was a convenient excuse.

All she knew that whatever Sirius was giving, despite what she had said, she was willing to take, and that scared her most of all.

`What am I going to do?' she said, her head in her hands, `I'm so twisted.'

Silence answered her question.

`I'm going to the bathroom,' a voice said in the lounge.

Who's that?

Lily looked up, waiting to see the person round the corner and go up the stairs. There was a pause before she saw him. Sirius rounded the corner…but he didn't go up the stairs…he was coming straight towards her.

Lily watched in slow motion as Sirius' tall, smirking form walked down the hall towards the kitchen. Towards her. She backed away as he stepped into the kitchen, his dark eyes following her movements.

`Lil.'

She knew it wasn't a question. The Marauder advanced on her until she had her back against the work surface and his body inches from hers. Her large emerald eyes wide as realisation dawned on her. Sirius kept glancing between her lips and her eyes, licking his own lips absentmindedly as in preparation. Lily glanced over his face, his black hair framing his equally dark features. His dark eyes, that were getting closer to hers as he moved into her face.

Lily didn't know what to do. She knew what was going to happen but she was powerless to stop it. He had some kind of hold over her. A hold that when his fingertips brushed over the soft skin of her arms, she whimpered as shocks ran through her veins. A hold that made her slide her arms up his firm chest, to grasp his strong shoulders. A hold that when he pressed her against the work surface, she wound her fingers into his hair and he pressed his lips hot against hers. Sirius' hands gripped her hips and slid around her waist, caressing the soft skin on the small of her back and making her moan into his mouth.

Lily felt fire lick her skin as his touch moved up under her shirt then down again, into the waistband of her miniskirt. She heard incoherent moans escape her swollen lips as the Marauder moved his hands down her smooth thighs then up, raising the small skirt until it was bunched at her waist.

`Sirius…'she breathed, `please…'

The Head Girl didn't exactly know what she was pleading him for but when his soft, smooth lips passed to her ear then down her throat, she knew he wouldn't disappoint. Tilting her head back, she held his shoulders harder, pressing her hips deeper into his and feeling exactly what she was pleading for.

My god!

She swallowed in anticipation and looked back at him. Sirius ran his hands over the sinewy body in his possession. She was so hot against him. It was like someone had turned the heat up and the heat of their bodies was just adding to the intensity. He couldn't stand it anymore, he needed to be inside her, and her emerald eyes, hazed with lust, were driving him insane.

Before he though it could get any crazier, he felt a small hand press against the fastening of his Muggle jeans. It nearly blew his mind when he realised what it was, and what she was doing. He held on tight to her waist and let his forehead rest on her shoulder.

Lily pulled the zip down, unfastened them and slid her hand in gently. She heard the low moans rumble in his throat and felt the vibrations though her shoulder.

`Uhh…god…Lil.'

She weaved her left hand back into his hair and gripped his straining manhood in her right. Stroking gently, she trailed fluttery kisses over his jaw bone, licking gently every now and again.

God he's so hard!

Her own thought made the hotness rush through her body again, and her mind flicked back to James. Closing her eyes in concentration, she changed her technique to what she witnessed James doing. It seemed to work as Sirius moved off her shoulder, pressing his length into her and contorting his facial expression, whimpers escaping his throat.

His grip on her waist tightened and he started to thrust his hips against her. He knew that if he didn't stop her, the show would be over extremely soon. Grabbing her wrist, he pulled her hand out of his jeans, and groaned at the lack of contact.

`Sirius…'

Sirius swept his eyes over her confused but equally flushed face. He latched on to her red lips, manipulating them fiercely with his own, resulting in breathy gasps passing across their connection. He grasped the tops of her thighs, pulling her up and around his waist. The feel of her hotness firm against his crotch was sending him into orbit and was not helping him keep his mind on trying to find the kitchen table.

Determination took over, and he pushed her down onto the solid oak table. Sirius stood between her legs, grabbing her sweater and pulling it over her head and away from her body, leaving her in a lacy black bra. His eyes roamed over her fair skin, down her stomach, then up again, stopping at her chest. Lily was so beautiful to him, her whole innocent demeanour just a façade to allow people to see her as a `proper lady'.

`Yeah right,' Sirius thought, smirking at her as her skin contrasted to the wood, her scarlet hair splayed out around her face.

He slid his touch up her body, where he grazed his fingers over the lace of her bra. Lily closed her eyes and sighed, the faint touch provoking endless amounts of nerves and setting a buzz of electricity through her. She arched up into his palm, moans trickling through her lips a lot easier now, and Sirius' touch increasing with intensity.

`Mmm…yes…Sirius please…'

Sirius hooked his hands under her knees, pulling her tight against him. Their movements were becoming furious and unpredictable. Lily was pressing her hips against his and rocking gently; knowing it would drive him crazy. His fingers were biting into the soft flesh of her thighs and she knew there would be bruises, but neither of them cared.

Sirius pushed her skirt down her legs rapidly, it pooling on the floor as he grabbed her matching lacy knickers and ripped them from her body.

Lily gasped as he slid his finger over her wetness and plunged his fingers inside her.

Oh My God!

`Mmmm…Sirius…'

He watched her intently, the expression on her face as beautiful as her. Her moans giving him shreds of pleasure as they filled his ears.

`Ready Lil?'

She nodded erratically and he pushed his jeans over his hips.

Lily took in the sight of him before he pressed himself against her.

Then she could feel him, pressing against her opening. She wanted it more than anything.

Please Sirius…don't stop…

His eyes locked onto hers.

Black meeting emerald and fusing as one.

He pressed his lips against hers, heat forming a haze over them, ready to push inside her.

Needing it.

`WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?'

Sirius nearly broke his neck when turning to see who the voice belonged to. Both he and Lily looked at the doorway.

James and Remus both staring at them; confusion covered Remus' face, pure hatred and rage on James'.

-->

11. Que Sera Sera

Cruel Summer

`WELL?'

James stepped further into the kitchen, glaring at them. Remus was dumbfounded, seeing them in that position; he didn't know where to look. He chose to look at his best friend; who was red faced with anger and his fists clenched in tight balls by his sides. He thought if the situation was any worse, James looked like he would have grabbed one of the Muggle knives and killed them both with it. It occurred to Remus that this could still happen, so he chose to intervene.

`Erm…Prongs, maybe we should just leave th…'

James whirled around to face Remus, and he took a quick step back, `Leave them?'

`O-or not then,' he mumbled.

Sirius and Lily had pulled away from each other when James had turned back; Lily had pulled her skirt and sweater up from the floor and Sirius was fumbling to do up his Muggle jeans. Somehow this seemed to anger James more as he looked at them again.

`You two make me sick!' he snarled, `Me and Moony were only in there!'

Lily glanced over to where he was pointing. Somehow she knew that the fact they had only been in the next room wasn't the cause of his fury. It was the same reason he'd moaned her name when she'd caught him in his precarious situation last week. She looked down at the floor, unsure of why she felt guilty but it was there regardless.

James shifted his glare onto Padfoot and narrowed his eyes slightly. Sirius caught the look and frowned, not understanding his best friend.

`What the fuck did you think you were doing, Sirius?' James snarled, stepping towards his best mate; his eyes lit up with fire.

Sirius knew James didn't use his first name just for the hell of it and he could feel the annoyance start to rise up inside him. He looked at the other Marauder defiantly.

`I don't get you!' he stated, `First, you want me to seduce her…and now…and now what? You don't?'

James took a second to absorb what Sirius had said, and the venomous glare drained from his face, rapidly being replaced with horror.

`What?'

James heard Lily's sharp voice and he glanced at her, recklessly searching his brain for an explanation. The situation at hand flying out of his mind, and the tables quickly turning on him.

Lily frowned at him, questions that needed answers evidently showing in her face. He watched her glance back at Sirius, and then to him again. She looked lost; realisation dawning on her slowly.

`No…' he heard her choke, `no…you guys are bad but you…you wouldn't do that…would you?'

James felt sick. What could he do? He couldn't do anything. He did ask Sirius to do that, to…seduce her, but he couldn't exactly tell her that he'd changed his mind and just didn't happen to let Sirius know afterwards.

What a great conversation that would be: `Sorry Lil, forgot to mention to the guy I got to fuck you, that I'd fallen in love with you. Never mind, eh?'

James looked back at the Head Girl and frowned. He thought she'd be angry, want to kill him, throw him out onto the street and leave him there, but she wasn't. No…what was covering the face of girl he loved was pure hurt.

No Lily, don't look at me like that.

Lily looked away, a strange sense of betrayal flooding through her veins and taking over the alcohol, making it impossible for her to think straight. She'd never in life felt like this, it was sickening. To her, it was the worst form of vengeance.

God…he wanted to turn me into one of the Slytherin girls.

Lily looked back at James, the room quiet from silent thoughts and wishes of second chances.

`What…did you think it would be funny watching me become a whore?' she croaked at him, and he flinched, `You wanted to hurt me James. Well you managed it at least. You did that bit just perfect.'

He looked at her, her eyes shimmering with silent tears…tears that were starting to spill down her pale cheeks.

`Hey,' she laughed sardonically, `I see how it would be ironic, the Head Girl…everyone meant to look up to her…and she's the biggest slut in the school. Don't worry James…the joke's not lost on me.'

Her words were biting into him, each one a stab of guilt and anguish; both forming a lovely little cocktail of torture. James couldn't take it anymore, he knew she was doing this deliberately and he also knew he deserved it, but this was too much. The phrase was always that words didn't hurt, but she might as well have been throwing giant sized bludgers at him and expecting him not to collapse from the onslaught.

`Don't…Lily…'

`Don't what James?' she said softly.

Apart from the tears and her voice giving away the sign of her hurt, anyone would have thought Lily was completely fine; that she was happily hurling insults at him.

Remus and Sirius were standing there awkwardly; they didn't know what to do or what to say. They were waiting for it to end, but neither was sure how or if it would.

`Were you two planning this before you came?' she said, glancing between both of them, `After? During your little `jack-off' session? I want to know.'

James kept silent; he could feel his best friends' eyes on him after Lily had said about the `incident'.

Please Lily, don't do this.

`Lily…'

The tears were trickling down hers cheeks easier now, she was letting go to the pain. She felt she had a right to.

`Lil…' James tried again, `I'm sorry…I didn't know how I would…'

He stopped, not knowing how to voice his feelings, not wanting to while Remus and Sirius were standing there, their eyes on him.

Lily laughed sarcastically, `you're sorry…that's so funny.'

Her laughter caused him to frown and look at her. What else was he supposed to say? He couldn't turn back time! James wanted her to forgive him but how was he going to do it if she was going to squash all his apologies.

`Well what can I say to make it better then?'

Lily looked at him sharply, `Nothing James, that's the thing…you can't say anything to make this better.'

She walked towards the door that went into the hallway, passing Sirius and Remus. Sirius' expression stayed impassive, whereas Remus smiled solemnly. Lily turned back to the kitchen as she was just about to step through the door.

`You know what's funny,' she said softly, `I felt guilty for nearly sleeping with Sirius when you caught us…I don't know why…maybe it was because of how your feelings for me had changed…but now I see things as they were…nothings changed James, you're still the same.'

Lily paused and looked around at the three faces that watched her, then looking back at James, she added, `It's strange how the world works…don't you think?'

With that she turned and walked out of the room, and up the stairs.

The faint sound of a door closing told them all that, `What was would always be, and Lily Evans was the one girl that they could never change.'

*****************************

James Potter had left the Evans residence earlier that week. He was meant to go from their house straight to London Station to catch the Hogwarts Express, but on the request of Lily and the consent of Professor Dumbledore the `trip' was cut short. He had left their house in Surrey without speaking to Lily at all; in fact the last time he had spoken to her was the night that Sirius and Remus came over.

Lily, now that James had gone, was able to do her own thing. She had decided to go shopping with her Mother, to buy new clothes for the new year at Hogwarts. They were only Muggle clothes that would go under her robes, but she had felt she needed a change. So with her Mother - and her Mother's credit card - they had gone shopping.

The next few days were filled full of preparing her school stuff, checking over everything and Diagon Alley shopping, which Lily thought she preferred to normal shopping as all of the Wizarding shops were fantastic.

Petunia had returned home from her wild liaisons only to come back and find another wild liaison that consisted of staying in her room and being restricted from going out for 3 weeks when she came back from school.

Lily couldn't wait to see her old friends again; she had missed them a lot, and she knew that Rachel, her best friend, wanted to know all about the last 3 weeks of her summer. Lily would tell her of course, but the version that she would tell her would have been edited with a fine tooth comb.

Leaving her parents outside and saying farewell to them there, Lily made her way into Kings Cross Station. She was used to the familiar surroundings that told her one thing: she was going to Hogwarts. But this time, she was Head Girl and nothing could be better. Lily weaved through the people who were standing on the busiest platform in England, waiting for their train. She caught sight of the Platform 9 and 10 signs and walked quickly towards them.

Checking her trolley to make sure she had everything, Lily walked fast towards the wall and was greeted with the familiar sound of the Hogwarts Express waiting to go.

Lily grinned and looked at the magnificent train.

Oh God, this year's going to be great!

People were hustling around the doors waiting to get on so she waited by the side, she didn't care; nothing could make this experience bad. Lily didn't know what was the matter with her, she had never acted this way before when she was about to go to Hogwarts. But this year felt different.

It's because I'm Head Girl I bet.

`Lily!'

She turned to watch a blonde girl running towards her and her disgruntled boyfriend tagging along behind, pulling her cases. Lily stifled a laugh at his expression and turned to face her best friend.

`Hey Rache,' Lily smiled.

Rachel grinned and hugged her tightly, `God, I've missed you!'

`You too.'

Lily turned and looked at Rachel's boyfriend, `Hi Ben, is she keeping you busy?'

Ben grunted in Lily's direction, `Doesn't she always?'

`He loves it really,' the girl giggled at Lily.

Rachel was in the same house as Lily when they became 1st Years. They had fast become friends; both excelling in charms and loving each others company. Both girls had stayed best friends right into 7th Year now and they were inseparable. Rachel had started dating Ben in 5th Year, and despite him being a Slytherin and hated by the Gryffindor boys, Lily found him to be a really nice guy. That was when Rachel hadn't been making him carry her stuff, because then he turned into something that was purposely restricted for the house he was placed in. An ogre.

`You're sitting with us aren't you? Cos I know that you can't when we get onto the carriages.'

Lily nodded at her friend, noticing that the doors were empty. The three of them walked towards the red train, pulling their cases and bags aboard with them.

The Hogwarts Express was exactly the same as always, and she walked into an empty compartment and sat down on the soft seats. Rachel and Ben followed her inside and a little later the train started to move, signalling to all as it pulled out of the station.

******************************

After the long train journey, the Hogwarts Express, filled with students, arrived at Hogsmeade Station. The Hogwarts pupils filed out of the train and made their way in either the direction of the coaches or Hagrid. Lily could hear the boom of the half-giant when she was inside the train and she smiled to herself.

Leaving Rachel and Ben on the platform, Lily walked passed the group of students waiting for the Thestral-pulled coaches. As she was a Head, she had her own coach in the front.

The coach at the front had a plaque that had `The Heads of Hogwarts' in pretty black writing. She opened the coach door, stepped onto the foothold and climbed inside. Sitting down onto the long seats, it was then that she looked up.

James was sat across from her, one foot up on the seat and looking at her, his head forward and his black hair over his eyes. Lily's breath caught in her throat as she noticed him sitting there. Watching her intently.

`What?' she spat.

He cocked his head but kept silent, his eyes never moving from her. This action seriously made Lily feel uneasy, he looked like he might lunge at her with a knife or something. She clutched her small bag tightly and tried to ignore him, thanking god that the ride didn't last that long.

I think I turned him insane. Oops.

Inside James was laughing at her. She was so easy to play with, and the look on her face was priceless.

She probably thinks I've turned into a psycho killer.

The ride there was amusing for James; she kept stealing glances at him as if he'd forgotten to take his medication. Lily was cursing herself that she had forgotten that both Heads share the same coach.

How can that have just slipped my mind?

When the coaches finally arrived at Hogwarts, Lily jumped out quickly. As she gazed at the scenery and the beautiful castle, thoughts of James left her mind. She was just so glad to be back, and wanted to start lessons straight away. When Lily entered the hall with her friends that she met up with, it was nearly full already. She managed to find her seat though and sat there chatting with everyone, and sharing the gossip of the summer.

Down the table, James' gaze kept fleeting back to her. He watched her sitting, talking with her friends and her pretty smile when everyone spoke to her, congratulating on her being Head Girl. He felt the jealousy emerge inside him as she turned around to look at Matthew Reede, a 7th Year Ravenclaw. He had called around and was congratulating her. James watched the girl he wanted, blush and giggle at the boys words. He turned to Sirius.

`What's with that Reede guy?' he started, `Why do all the girls fall at his feet?'

Sirius turned to look in the direction James was talking about. He saw the Ravenclaw talking to Lily and frowned, looking at his best friend. Sirius eyed him cautiously, wondering why James was getting so annoyed.

`Erm…dunno Prongs mate.'

James looked at him, `All the girls do it, is there something about him?'

Remus caught the conversation and looked at Sirius, who turned to him and raised his eyebrows.

`Erm Prongs,' Remus began, catching James' attention, `maybe you should forget her, she made it pretty clear that she wanted noth…'

James glared at him, `I was just asking a question!'

Remus' jaw hardened in annoyance, but he stopped talking.

The sorting of the 1st Years started and after that Dumbledore began the Feast. Everything looked amazing; food upon food was piled onto the long house tables, and students grabbed for handfuls of everything, managing to go back for second helpings. After eating, the Heads were required to go with Professor Dumbledore and would see their living quarters, duties and everything that came with their titles.

Lily walked up to the teachers table when the hall was nearly empty, to meet the Professor.

`Ah, Miss Evans,' Professor Dumbledore spoke, `how was the summer with Mr Potter.'

`It was fine ,' Lily lied, smiling slightly, and Dumbledore nodded, his eyes on her face.

She was sure Dumbledore knew she was lying, but he didn't press the matter further so she decided to leave it.

`Here he is now,' the Professor spoke gently, and Lily turned and watched the Marauder walk towards them.

Lily's mind flickered back to numerous events in the holidays quickly but she blinked them away, not wanting to think about them just yet. The scruffy haired boy stood next to Lily, glanced at her, and then fixed his eyes on Dumbledore.

`Now then,' Dumbledore spoke, `you should already be aware that you won't be sleeping in the normal Gryffindor common room dormitories…'

Lily nodded, but James stayed impassive.

The Professor continued, `What you might not have known was the conditions of the bedrooms…you see, the situation we created in the holidays was more or less a test of your reactions together.'

Lily frowned and felt James' gaze on her for a second. What was Dumbledore getting at?

`Miss Evans had informed me that the holiday circumstances were acceptable, so you both will be able to get along throughout this.'

He paused and looked at them, `Follow me Lily, James.'

Lily and James did as they were told, they followed Dumbledore, but the thoughts that were running through their heads were a different matter. Lily didn't want to think about what the Professor meant, although in her mind she knew exactly what he was talking about. James was confused about two things; the things that Dumbledore was saying, but also the fact that Lily had said that the holiday went well.

Guess she didn't want him to know…well that kinda backfired didn't it Lil!

They stopped outside a portrait of a pretty witch. She wore all white and a section of her platinum blonde hair was braided. Lily was automatically reminded of an angel, but as she looked over at James, he was grinning at the portrait with a sick grin on his face.

Oh the portrait did have to be a Veela, didn't it! It's the perfect ending for today!

Dumbledore spoke to the portrait and said that the password would be given later by the two Heads. The portrait opened and James and Lily stepped inside. Just as they were about to go in further Dumbledore's voice stopped them.

`I will expect you both at my office tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock, it's late; we will discuss your duties then.'

He closed the portrait and Lily felt an undying urge of running after him. Neither of them moved; didn't know what to do.

`I can't believe we have to share a common room,' they both thought.

It was Lily who moved first, she turned and looked at him then moved past him into the Head room. When she looked around it, it took her breath away.

It was so gorgeous.

Lily had thought that the Gryffindor common room was pretty but this was very much better. A large fire was alight on one side of the room, with sofas and cushions surrounding it. A large wooden table on the other side, it was perfect for studying. The Gryffindor crest hanging on large, beautiful drapes hung over the walls. It looked so cosy, Lily just wanted to snuggle up on the sofa, in front of the fire and go to sleep.

`It looks nice,' James spoke softly.

Lily paused, sighed and turned around, facing him. James was standing by the wall, looking at a large picture of a Quidditch Match. It looked quite old. He looked back at her, the soft light of the fire playing over his dark features. Lily rolled her eyes and walked over to the largest sofa, sitting down. The comfort of it was brilliant; she sank into the depths of the cushions and felt very tired all of a sudden.

James glanced at her then walked over to the door with `Head Boy' written in the same black writing that was on the coach. James glanced across the large common room and saw another door that was for the `Head Girl'. The bathroom was the middle door he guessed. Opening the bedroom door, he stepped inside. All of his belongings had been brought up and were all neatly in drawers and wardrobes. He grinned at the double bed and jumped onto the mattress, lying back and sinking into it.

Mmm, this feels good.

The next thing he knew was a roll of thunder waking him up. He blinked, rubbed his eyes and looked around, not knowing where he was. It dawned on him quickly and another roll of thunder crashed through the air outside his window. He sat up, cursing the weather and climbed off the bed.

There's no way I'm gonna get to sleep in this.

Still wearing his school robes, he pulled them off quickly and got into a pair of Muggle shorts and a t-shirt. He had got them when Lily had taken him shopping, and found they felt better to sleep in than his normal pyjamas. Opening his bedroom door, he walked into the common room and noticed that the fire was still alight and burning as it had done when he first saw it.

It's magical probably.

James shifted his gaze and noticed Lily sitting asleep on the sofa, in the exact place when he had left her. He stopped and watched her; she looked so sweet and delicate. The fire shrouding her in its crackling heat, and the light dancing over her face. The thunder rolled outside again.

She can sleep through this?

James walked over to her sound form and tucked a lock of her scarlet hair behind her ear. His fingers grazed over the soft skin of her cheek, and then down over her red lips. He knelt down and searched her peaceful expression, receiving no response. James looked over at her bedroom door then back to her sleeping figure. Moving towards her, he moved her arm around his neck, slid one hand around her back and the other under her legs.

James picked up the Head Girl, her face pressed against his neck. He could feel her full lips against his skin and had to concentrate hard on what he was doing. The bedroom door opened for him on its own as he carried her towards it, and went through.

She's really light.

Walking towards her double bed he placed her on the mattress, pulled the covers back from under her then tucked her in. Her hair looked beautiful against her pale face, in the light of the moon coming through her window. James couldn't help gazing at her.

He took her hand in his, kissed the palm and looked at her, `Lily I'm sorry…I hate myself for what I did to you…I know you'll never believe me…I wish things were different.'

James stood up and looked at her, her face still unresponsive. He paused then leant down, pressing his lips against her forehead and sighing.

`I love you Lil'.'

He stood up silently, turned and walked to the door. He glanced back at her quickly and stepped out of the room, closing the door silently behind him. Darkness fell over the room as the door blocked the light of the fire, and Lily Evans opened her eyes and traced the kiss he left on her forehead, not believing what had just happened.

-->

12. Nightmares & Daydreams

Cruel Summer

The next morning Lily woke up thinking it had been a dream. She just couldn't believe that what had happened was true; James Potter - her biggest enemy - had come into her room, kissed her and told her he loved her.

Her mind just screamed, `Nightmare…nightmare…of course it wasn't real…don't be so stupid!'

But inside…deep inside, she knew the truth. She had felt him place that soft kiss on her forehead; she knew she couldn't dream a touch like that. She had heard the words that escaped his lips in a whisper.

Lily cringed as she sat at her vanity table, looking closely at her reflection. The soft red waves tumbled over her shoulders and down her back, her emerald eyes searching her face for answers that she just didn't have. They had to come from the boy that created the questions. She groaned at the thought of asking him.

Damn, why does this have to be so complicated?

Lily could remember the exact time she woke up. She had woken feeling lips press against the sensitivity of her palm, and the strange feeling of breathy words crossing over her skin. When she got past the thought of a madman in her bedroom and realised exactly that it was James, she had opened her eyes just enough that she could make out dull shapes but not enough that he would see her watching him.

The words that fell from his lips easily had startled her slightly. She didn't understand…how did he want things different? He hated himself?

What was all that? More lies? Or…something different?

Lily really didn't know…didn't want to know…didn't want to find out if the random thoughts that flitted through her brain was just her mind running in overdrive or…a real knowledge of the issue.

`Well why would he lie to you while he thought you were asleep?' her mind argued.

God knows! Maybe because he's twisted that way!

`But maybe it wasn't like that! You can overreact you know.'

What is this? The Recapture of the Fairytale Romance Movement?

`Don't be so bitter!' her mind snapped, `You could really have something special!'

Ugh! Pur-lease! Potter wouldn't know how to work a serious relationship if it came with step-by-step instructions!

`Well if he is such a cold-hearted git, tell me how you managed to find yourself in bed last night?'

WHAT? You can't be suggesting…

`Oh come on, you knew it was in the back of your mind!'

What I know is that I'm arguing with myself! I must be going crazy!

The other voice stopped abruptly and Lily looked back at her reflection in the mirror. She quickly realised that over-applied her make-up; going far past the subtlety look.

`Damn it!' she moaned, looking at the dark mascara, `I look like an over-enthusiastic whore!'

Lily grabbed a couple of tissues, stood up and walked to the bathroom door. She had loved the idea of having an en suite bathroom in her room, but the novelty flew out of her mind due to the present make-up issue. She reached for the door handle, turning it and stepping into the plush white room. Making a beeline for the sink, she ran the tap and placed the tissues into the running water. The tissues wet, she lifted them up and looked in the mirror.

A cough on the other side of the room caused her to glance into the mirror, and yelp when she saw James' reflection. Lily spun around quickly, dropping the forgotten tissues onto the flawless tiled floor.

Lily couldn't move her eyes away from him. His wet hair hung around his face, droplets of water hanging off the ends and dropping onto his bare shoulders. Lily, in the back of her mind, thanked god for the towel that covered his bottom half.

Not like you haven't seen it before though.

`Um…' she started searching for words, `S-sorry…'

She started backing towards the door, quickly forgetting the make-up issue, all she knew she had to get out of there…away from his body.

`Lil, it's okay,' she heard him say softly, but she slammed the bathroom door with her on the other side of it.

Lily leant on the door as she closed it, breathing a sigh of relief of getting out of there fast.

Why did he have to look so damn hot? This makes it so much harder!

She cringed at the situation and grabbed her school bag that rested on the chair next to her. Lily opened her bedroom door, walked fast into the common room and walking straight for the Veela portrait. She needed to be out of his way for a while; that sight really was a shock to the system and she didn't know if she could act normally around him anymore. What with the events of last night and this, it was turning out to be one of those days.

****************************

The Great Hall was fairly empty when Lily walked into it. It was quite early for everyone to be downstairs for breakfast, but it saved the awkward moments of James at the table at the same time. She needed time to think about what had happened, and him; stealing glances at her every 5 seconds wasn't really going to make that possible.

Lily didn't know what she had felt when he had said those words, but she did know she had felt something.

Lily looked down at the plate of waffles in front of her, not really acknowledging that she should eat them, and sighed in exasperation. She heard movement next to her and felt someone sit down on the chair beside hers. She didn't move or look up.

Please don't be James. Please don't be James.

There was a slight pause and the person waved their hand in front of her face, `Earth to Lily.'

Lily looked up into the smiling gaze of the Ravenclaw chaser.

`H-hi Matthew,' she answered quickly, wondering what she looked like, `what are you doing up so early?'

The Ravenclaw moved his eyes over Lily, thinking she looked a little different…he couldn't place his finger on what it was thought, but he definitely wasn't complaining.

`Training, you?' he breathed.

She wracked her brain for a suitable excuse, `Erm…I just felt like getting up early…I've got to see Dumbledore soon.'

He seemed to buy the alibi and she turned back to the plate of waffles, feeling his eyes still on her. There was a pause before either of them spoke.

`So…you still dating James?'

Lily spun around fast to face him, words bubbling inside her but not able to string them into a sentence, `Wha…no…I never went out…me and James aren't like that.'

Well…sort of…

Matthew raised his eyebrows at her and smiled, `Oh…that's good.'

She looked at him, her emerald eyes searching his face, and then realisation dawning on her, `Oh…'

Lily smiled at him shyly, her auburn hair falling into her face as she looked at the waffles again. He reached out and tucked a lock of her red hair behind her ear, and she shifted her eyes to look at him. A fluttering feeling came across her as he gazed at her and stroked her hair softly.

`Lily…you are so…undoubtedly…the prettiest girl in Hogwarts.'

She felt herself flush at his choice of words and her mind flitted back to James and…his choice of words. They had a different effect on her than Matthews, but she didn't know what the differences were.

`Erm…thanks…that's really erm…sweet,' she smiled at him.

Then all she realised was that he was coming towards her. Lily couldn't move as he moved his face around and kissed her cheek gently, pulling away slowly. Matthew stood up and touched her chin.

`I've got training now…I'll catch you later maybe.'

Lily watched him smile, turn away and walk out of the hall, other Ravenclaw Quidditch players following him. She looked away and her eyes caught Rachel walking fast towards her from the Great Hall entrance, glancing at Matthew when he passed her. The blonde girl rushed up to her and sat down in the seat he had just occupied, her blue eyes glittering with what she had just witnessed.

`What was that about?'

The girl practically squirmed in her seat from anticipation, awaiting Lily's explanation. Lily looked at Rachel and laughed slightly; no matter what mood she was ever in, she could guarantee that Rachel would make her feel better.

`Well…he spoke to me is all.'

`Oh pur-lease, he did more than that!'

Lily blushed at her friend, `Rachel, he kissed me on the cheek, that was it!'

The blonde girl looked at her best friend and raised an eyebrow, sitting back on the seat, `Sure.'

Lily narrowed her eyes at her friend in mock irritation, `You spend too much time with the Slytherins, you know.'

Rachel stuck out her tongue at her and grabbed an uneaten waffle on Lily's plate, biting into it.

`I'll catch you later,' Rachel grinned, purposely using the same line as Matthew, and walking over to where Ben sat with some of the Slytherins.

**************************

Lily had spent the remaining time that she had in the library. She had decided to do some research and sort out her timetable before she had to go and see Professor Dumbledore. When her wristwatch showed 5 minutes to 9, Lily packed up her things and made her way to the Headmasters office.

The office was still the exact same and Lily smiled to herself at the familiarity. She walked up to the statue and said the password clearly. The statue jumped aside and she climbed the stairs leading to the large door.

Lily knocked lightly and pushed it open. She was greeted by Professor Dumbledore sitting behind his desk, and smiling at her in the way he always did. Shifting her gaze to the side, she saw James sitting in one of the seats, looking at her with a face like thunder.

`Where have you been?' he growled at her.

Professor Dumbledore stepped in, `Forgive Mr Potter, Miss Evans. He apparently thought you'd disappeared…he was very worried.'

`I wasn't!'

Dumbledore observed James over his half moon spectacles, and James slumped back into his seat, muttering something under his breath. The Headmaster looked back at Lily and smiled, gesturing to the seat in front of his desk, next to James'.

Lily glanced at the Head Boy as she sat down, then looking back to Dumbledore.

`I had breakfast early,' she started, resulting in James' eyes to shift over to her.

`You could have told me Lily! You know…mentioned it before I thought you'd been kidnapped or something.'

`I don't have to tell you my every move,' she continued, `plus you could have looked in the library…I was there as well.'

James turned back to Professor Dumbledore and sat up in his chair, `I went into the common room and she wasn't there! How was I supposed to kn…'

`Ok Mr Potter,' Dumbledore spoke, silencing him, `I've just been made aware of this.'

James glanced at Lily again and folded his arms. She was amazed at how that action made him look even more childish than he already did.

He might as well start pouting, he couldn't look any worse.

She decided to ignore him and acknowledge Dumbledore once again. The Headmaster told both Head's all about their duties and such. It was basically similar to the Prefects but they got to organise all the school events, Hogsmeade trips and the Balls that they had occasionally. Lily was especially delighted at the fact that she could do the Balls. She always loved the beautiful decorations and the processions that always went on. She literally buzzed from excitement that she would design and help create one of the best events in Hogwarts.

They also had really boring stuff to do but Lily decided to forget about that until it was needed to be done - which wasn't soon she was glad at.

James had put in his contribution of frowning and grunting to suggestions on everything, but Lily wasn't really surprised. She seriously didn't know how he became Head Boy; he would rather be out there with the rest of the Marauders thinking up pranks for some innocent individual.

The topic progressed over to the library contents, `Naturally, you both have access to the Restricted Section, but I would advise you not to use the books for…your normal leisure pursuits.'

Dumbledore had looked pointedly at James and Lily knew exactly why.

God, the Restricted Section…I can't imagine what they would do with books from there!

`Don't worry Professor, we won't,' she spoke clearly.

James looked at her for the millionth time. She looked so pretty today; her eyes seemed darker than usual, giving her a sharp sense of sex appeal. He was in awe of…well, everything about her. The way she was also so mature…so unlike him, the grown-up way she addressed the Headmaster. Everything. He could never live up to that. Lily was a unique creature, and he, as per usual screwed up every chance he had with her.

I can't believe how I was so stupid. Look at her…she's never gonna forgive you. She's so beautiful…damn why did I fuck things up!

James rubbed his forehead in irritation and averted his gaze away from her hair that shimmered under the soft light of the candles.

`Now…' Dumbledore said to them, `I have told you all you need to know for the time being. You should get to class now…I believe your first lesson is charms.'

Lily smiled cordially, `Thank you Professor.'

She stood up and made her way to the door, going out of it. James stood also, thanked Dumbledore quickly and jogged out of his office, after her. She was making her way into the hallway when James caught up with her.

`Lil…can I walk with you?' he asked gently, `We do have the same lesson.'

Lily narrowed her eyes at the boy next to her and kept walking, `I'm aware of that.'

For god sake, why can't she just speak normally to me?

`Lily, I said I'm sorry…what else can I do?'

The Head Girl sighed; she didn't want to talk to him about this. She was having a hard enough time trying not to think about the events of last night. She wanted to question him and his words but she was scared. She didn't know how to handle him.

`Look…can we just not…do this right now.'

James felt the anger flare up inside him, and he grabbed her arm, turning her to face him, `Well when do you want to do it then Lily? What's the best time that suits you?'

The shock was quickly replaced by anger, and she glared back at him, `Don't you dare talk to me like that! You should be ashamed to even speak in front of me, after what you did!'

`I am ashamed Lily!' he shouted, his fingers digging into her arms more, `God, you don't even see that!'

`No I don't see it James!' she spat, anger dulling the pain of his fingers, `You lied to me…how am I ever supposed to believe you again?'

He pushed her away from him, and turned around; not knowing what to do. Lily felt the feeling come back to her arms and knew in would take a couple of charms to hide the bruises. James looked back at her, pinching the bridge of his nose at the stress of the situation.

What's she doing to me? I need to get out of here.

Lily watched him back away from her, and then he turned to walk down the corridor in the direction of the charms room.

********************************

The charms lesson had gone fairly well. Dumbledore had warned them that they would be partnered frequently together in all of their subjects, but Professor Flitwick decided that today wouldn't be a practical lesson, so no partners were needed. Lily loved charms and she was exceptionally good in it. She dreaded the time when she would have to be partnered with James, because she knew he would make things difficult for her.

The next lesson they had was Muggle Studies, which was also another subject that they shared, but James didn't really take much notice of the Professor or what he said. He, Sirius and Peter had decided to choose Muggle Studies for one of their subjects because they thought it would be easy. But sadly, from a Pureblood Wizards point of view, it definitely wasn't.

The class was separated into Ravenclaw students on one side and Gryffindor's on the other. Lily sat at the front of the class with Rachel, who also took the subject. They both liked this lesson because they were together, and that fact seemed to make the subject more fun.

`Yeah, will you help me arrange the Halloween Ball? It'll be so much better if you help.'

Rachel squealed with excitement, `Oh my god! Of course! What did you have in mind?'

`Well, I'm not sure yet,' Lily said, tapping the end of her quill on her cheek, `maybe something like, costumes…I don't really know.'

`Oh, it'll be so beautiful…everyone dressing up.'

Lily regarded her best friend and let out a small chuckle at her enthralled expression. Anyone would have thought Rachel was ditzy, but Lily knew better. She was extremely bubbly and Lily loved her for it. Rachel was the vivacious one, whereas Lily was level headed, and both personalities created a great friendship between them.

James, after sitting behind the girls and hearing their conversation, sat forward in his seat.

`Lily, I thought we were meant to do that Halloween thing together!'

Lily and Rachel slowly turned around to face the three Marauders.

`Don't worry Jamie,' Rachel grinned, `you'll get her back afterwards.'

Lily glared at her best friend, not realising how much she just put her foot in it. James sat back in his seat and Sirius watched both girls vigilantly, his dark eyes shifting over both of them.

`Dumbledore said…'

`Plus boys can't arrange stuff,' Rachel continued, cutting him off, `it's a fact.'

Now Sirius sat up in his seat, `Why don't you shut your mouth Rachel, and go home to the Slytherins where you belong.'

The Gryffindor girl smirked slightly, `Make me, Black.'

`Look,' Lily snapped, `I want Rache to help me with this…plus, she's right, boys can't arrange stuff…I'd like to see the Ball you four come up with.'

`So would I,' Sirius sneered, `Cos it would be a damn sight better than some pink and frilly, girly-girl one!'

Lily glared at the Marauder, `Shut up, Sirius.'

She laughed at herself in her head, and turned back to her desk. How much Sirius had changed from the art of seduction, back to a stupid, immature little sod.

Very much glad that that incident never happened!

The Professor's voice rang out across the large classroom, `Now, you all should be finished making notes on Muggle shops by this time.'

After the positive response from the students the professor continued, `Good…then I will proceed in telling you all about the Muggle assignment that will be part of your Muggle Studies, N.E.W.T examination. This project will be for half of your final grade so it should be done extremely well…that is why we are starting it immediately.'

Lily listened intently to the Professor and thought, `Wow…this might actually be quite interesting.'

`Now I understand the Head Boy and Girl are in this class, and I am aware of the fact that Miss Evans is a Muggleborn herself…so if anyone has any questions about the task, I'm sure she would be very happy to help. I also understand that, Mr Potter spent three 3 weeks in the Muggle world…Professor Dumbledore informed me of this and said that it would be benefit the course a great deal.'

Lily glanced at James, who was watching her intently and she turned around quickly again

This is embarrassing… James…Sirius sitting next to him…a girl could really freak out…calming breaths…calming breaths…

`So…' The Professor continued, `Mr Potter has probably had some experience in the matter. Very good…this project should be a good one.'

Then Lily heard James speak, `Professor…would you mind telling us exactly what the project actually is?'

How can he talk to a teacher like that? I'm sure the Professor was going to tell us next!

`Yes of course Mr Potter.'

After quite a boring 15 minutes, the students had found out that their project was on Muggle Leisure. It was basically on Shopping Centres, Leisure Parks - which the Professor had adamantly insisted were called `Pleasure Larks' - and other Muggle amusements. Lily had thought this would be quite an easy subject, whereas some of the other pureblood students - Rachel included - didn't really understand the concept of Muggle entertainment.

They would be partnered - as usual - and they would go on school visits to Muggle Shopping and other Leisure Centres. Rachel was already deciding what Muggle clothing she would wear on these trips, making Lily laugh at her friend again for the 6 thousandth time.

James was glad when the Professor announced it was time to leave. He was going slightly mad from watching her and wishing. He was playing little images out in his mind of her. He was imagining that no one was here; it was just him and her in the classroom…no one else. She was just sitting there doing her work…he moved up behind her…stroking her hair…then she looked up at him…smiling at him gently…then she got up…pressing her body against him…then he kissed her beautiful red lips…

`James?'

Lily's voice shook him out of his fantasies, and he focused on her pretty face, `Yeah?'

She glared at his nonchalant expression and moved towards him, her features softening, `James…make love to me…right here…please…'

`Oh Lil…god I want you.'

James pushed his fingers into her hair, moving his face towards hers and capturing her lips in a long languorous kiss. She whimpered softly against the delicious torture. He slid his hands down her body, brushing her nipples and she arched her body into his…

`Prongs?'

into his…

`Prongs mate?'

The dream slipped out of his mind like water from a sieve, and he looked at Padfoot, `What?'

`Can I have your Pizza? I figured you didn't want it,' Sirius said, pointing to James' plate, `You've just been staring at it for ages.'

`Yeah whatever,' he answered, pushing his lunch plate towards the other Marauder.

James looked around the Great Hall, sliding his glance along the table he caught sight of her…taking to that Reede guy…again.

God…what is with that guy? He's like jumping on her! It's disgusting!

James stood up, attracting attention from the rest of the Marauders.

`Erm…I'm gonna go out to the Quidditch pitch…do some training.'

`Ok Prongsie,' Sirius stated, biting into the pizza, `see ya later.'

James walked towards the Great Hall entrance, away from everyone…away from her. He shook his head and chuckled in spite of himself.

What the hell am I gonna do if I can't be around her for one bloody day?

I'm royally fucked!

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13. Boys Will Be Boys

Cruel Summer

The steaming water beat down on James' back as he pushed his head under the strong jets. He enjoyed feeling the nearly-scorching liquid run down his body after Quidditch training. It released his tight muscles and also helped him think clearly. There was a kind of peace that took him after playing Quidditch…as though something deep inside him had been sated and was finally able to relax.

The disruption of voices broke into his mind and caused him to stop and open his eyes. They were male voices. The low laughter of boys, that had just cracked a stupid joke or something rather sordid.

James kept quiet and swiftly turned the water off, increasing the volume of their voices and allowing him to hear them better.

`Nah…course we'll beat Gryffindor,' the voice laughed.

Ok…they're not Gryffindor's…wait a sec…NO YOU BLOODY WON'T!

James felt like ripping the door open, grabbing this stupid person and kicking the crap out of him. He was tremendously passionate about Quidditch and had only lost matches in extreme cases…very extreme. The Marauder listened hard again, filtering out the others laughter and movement to hear actual words.

`You know…if we do win this match, I might actually push the odds in my favour of getting her.'

What?

He heard the Quidditch team either groan or snort with laughter. Another voice then caught his attention.

`Yeah right…everyone knows she's in Potters pocket!'

At the mention of his name, James felt the anger in him increase for some reason. He couldn't recognise the voices of these people, but felt uneasy at the sheer knowledge that they apparently seemed to know him.

Who's in my pocket? A girl? Cool!

`Maybe she is…but that doesn't stop me from going after her myself…and anyway, she might change her mind when she sees me kick Potters arse on the field.'

Their laughter tested James' ability of control. He leant his head against the cold, ceramic tiles and screwed his eyes shut.

Oh…I'm so gonna enjoy beating the shit out of you…whoever you are…

`I didn't think she was dating Potter.'

`Apparently she's not…but there's something going on there.'

Who am I supposed to be dating?

The boy laughed, `I bet he's into her…I mean, anyone living with her would have to notice her soon enough…probably jerks off to her in the next room.'

It was that second that James realised who they were talking about…Lily. That guy liked…Lily.

His Lily.

The surge of rage that flew up from his toes to the top of his head, made thinking an exceptionally difficult thing to do. He just about refrained from launching himself out of the cubicle door, stark naked.

Fucking twat! He's never going to get her…I'll break his legs before he even manages to ask her!

`Hmmm,' the boy continued, `I dunno what I'd do if I was in his position…jump her and fuck that sweet little body probably.'

Laughter filled the changing room. James couldn't believe the stuff they were saying about her. Lily wasn't like that…he wouldn't let her be like that…he'd die before he let some random guy take her.

`Come on Matt…like Potter would let you do that.'

`Oh yeah?' he snapped, `Potter's probably had the same idea…Lily must look good enough to eat…no one around…no witnesses.'

Matt? Who the fuck is Matt?

Anger was pulsing through his veins, as if the only thing keeping his body focused was liquid rage, instead of blood. James was certain this Matt guy was going to feel what pain really was. James pulled his trousers on in fury, replaying the disgusting ideas the boy had suggested that he did to Lily.

God Lil…this bastard's gonna pay!

`So how far have you got with her?'

This stopped James dead in his tracks, and he listened intently.

`Progressing,' James heard the smile in his voice, `any day now she's gonna be aching to get into my bed…guys, that virgin's gonna be mine.'

James tore the door open, slamming it against the ceramic wall and the crash silencing the large changing room. He looked at the boys as he walked into the room, his shirt askew in the rage of pulling it on. The moment he saw them, everything fit into place like a sick and twisted jigsaw.

He acknowledged the Ravenclaw chaser with pure contempt, `Hmm, really? Somehow…I don't think so.'

After the shock of everything he'd said being heard by the Head Boy, Matthew narrowed his dark eyes, `Ohhh, I get it…he does have a thing for the Head Girl.'

James fumed as he watch him leer, `Appropriate name don't you think?'

He restrained himself from pointing his wand at the boy and shouting the worst Unforgivable curse he knew. Instead he gritted his teeth and spoke, his cerulean eyes glittering with confined venom.

`I'd kill you…before you even got close enough to look at her.'

Matthew looked at him with mock regret, `Sorry mate…bit late for that…she seems to want to get close quite a lot…and I'm not going to deprive her of that.'

James laughed sarcastically, `and you think I'd just let her go off with you…you're a fucking idiot!'

`Come on now Potter…what's a little sharing between captains…you have her in the mornings, I have her at night.'

Forgetting all means of wizard fighting, James lunged at the Ravenclaw and slammed a hard punch into the side of his face. He grabbed him, throwing them both to the floor and punched him around the face a few more times. He didn't think; he just saw Matthew and Lily in his head, her beautiful smile and pretty laughter…and it being destroyed by Matthew's sick threats.

James felt himself being wrenched away from the boy under his fists, and he fought against them; needing to feel his hard punches against the sticky bloodied face that was Matthew Reede. It was just a red haze…a void of everything except retribution.

Someone slapped him hard across the face, and he grabbed them hard, throwing the opposing body to the cold, hard floor of the changing room.

`For fuck sake Prongs! What's wrong with you?'

The haze lifted quickly, his nickname somehow being the password to his normal self. James was latched onto Sirius, his hands gripping his clothes and pinning him to the ground. He let go quickly and sat back, surveying the room quickly. Peter and Remus were standing by the door and looking at him, a worried shock distorting their features. The Ravenclaw Quidditch team were either huddled by their severely injured captain, or looking at him with a new distasteful fear.

Sirius got up and straightened his clothes, watching his best friend in confusion.

The rest of the Marauders had been walking towards the Quidditch field, looking for their friend, when they heard shouts and cries of people. Finding James pounding the crap out of the boy, Sirius had tried to intervene - only ending up on his arse, nearly getting a punch from James himself.

James didn't know what to do as he sat there. He didn't feel sorry for doing it…it was for Lily, not him.

Not like she'll ever be grateful for it though.

James examined the split skin over his knuckles, the pain slowly dulling the anger. Grabbing his Broomstick and remaining Quidditch stuff, he walked slowly towards the changing room exit.

`Prongs?' he heard Sirius call out to him.

He ignored him continuing towards the door.

`Hey…James?'

James didn't care. If he couldn't have her…nothing would matter anymore.

**************************

Lily stormed into the Head Common Room; bursting through the door, and slamming it shut behind her. James sprung awake from his sleeping position on the sofa. He sat up and rubbed his eyes groggily, and Lily walked over to him, anger flaring in her deep green eyes.

`What the hell did you think you were doing?' she shrieked at him.

James subconsciously backed away on the sofa from her voice, and grimaced at the look of fury on her face.

`I can't understand why you're so stupid James!' she continued, `you pick fights with people…you are so ridiculous it makes me sick!'

After waking up a bit more, he brain processed what she had spat at him and he glared at her, standing up, `Lily, I…'

`Just shut up!' she snapped, `…you are meant to be Head Boy, James! How could you be so immature?'

James watched the girl in front of him pace back and forth, shooting glares and looks of disgust at him. Lily had heard about the fight between the two boys at dinner as it was all the Gryffindor table could talk about, and also that James had provoked it - which she wasn't surprised of. She had made her way to the Head Common Room after dinner was over, knowing he would be there. She couldn't grasp why he would be such an idiot to jeopardise his position in the school, just over some disagreement.

God! Why do boys have to get physical? Why can't they just use their brains for once in their lives?

Lily looked back at the Marauder, `Do you realise that you could get suspended? What are you going to do then?'

`Not much I can do is there Lily!' James growled folding his arms across his chest.

She turned to face him, `Well maybe you should go and speak to Professor Dumbledore. Tell him that you didn't mean to or something…apologise maybe.'

James couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth, they were ludicrous…there was no way he was going to do that. He imagined himself doing all of those things…apologising to Reede and pleading with Dumbledore…no way.

`I'm not going to apologise Lily! And what I did…I very much don't regret!'

Lily narrowed her eyes at him, `What the hell is that supposed to mean?'

`I thought you were meant to be smart,' he snarled, watching the anger spread over her face, `It means…I don't regret showing that dickhead just what I think of him.'

`Oh for god sake,' Lily barked, sick and tired of him, `Is this all just because Matthew likes me?'

James paused, stunned, `Wha…'

`Because I know James!' she said cutting him off, `I know…about you…'

He frowned and looked her, `About me?'

`Yes,' Lily nodded, her eyes never leaving his `I know…about your feelings…for me.'

Erm…whatthefuck?

`M-my feelings?'

`Yes, and if this is just some kind of male territory thing…just stop it!'

James wondered if this whole thing was some kind of dream. She knew his feelings? How the hell did that happen?

Ok, she knows what you feel for her…but she still thinks that twat is some kind of god?

`Lily, he doesn't like you,' he said gently.

Her emerald eyes dazzled with rage, and she spoke bitterly, `Well I care to differ!'

`What?' he said incredulously, `Lily…look I wouldn't lie about this!'

`Oh really?' she spat, `I would of thought it would come easy to you!'

`For fuck sake!' he yelled in frustration, `why do you have to make this so difficult?'

`Me?' she screeched back at him, `It was you trying to dispose of potential boyfriends!'

`Lily, he was going to fuck you then ditch you…relationship was not going through his mind!

James had thought he'd got through to her as she paused and looked at him, the raw hurt showing evidently in her eyes. He watched her with open compassion and stepped closer to her.

`You say that you love me James,' she finally croaked.

`Yes…Lily I do…I don't know h…'

`Then why,' she growled, `do you persist in trying to ruin everything good that happens in my life!'

He stopped, his mind not really registering fully the comment she just made, `What are y…'

`You're so sick in the head James,' she said, backing away from him, sharp tears stinging her eyes, `Matthew wouldn't do that…he's not Sirius…'

`Sirius has nothing to do with this Evans!'

`You're lying James…I know you are…I'm not stupid…'

By this time James thought he was going insane. He didn't know why she wasn't accepting this, it was the truth after all, and he was getting tired of repeating himself. He strode up to her retreating form, grabbing her arms hard and making her flinch under his grip.

James looked hard into her eyes, `Listen… I heard him informing the entire Ravenclaw Quidditch team about the stuff he was going to do with you! I'm not going to repeat it, because you damn well won't believe me! It was sick and disgusting! That's why I punched him…and that's why I don't regret it!'

Lily looked at him, the fear showing clearly in her eyes. He didn't want that, he didn't want her to be scared of him. She kept stealing small glances at his hands, as if he might punch her.

God Lily, don't think that…I would never…

He felt her shiver her under his hands, and he moved into her a little more. James didn't know what he was doing…he saw how delicate she was, and he wanted to wrap her in his arms, and protect her from the likes of Matthew Reede and everyone else. Despite her fiery and confident composure, she appeared in front of him now as a naïve little girl, not really knowing what she was getting herself into.

I wish I'd killed Reede for taking advantage of that!

`Lily…' he whispered, moving into her.

Lily couldn't think as she watched him advance on her. She liked the feeling of him holding her, it felt as if nothing could hurt her…except maybe him. Her sense of reason was damaged before he had grabbed her and Lily's mind wasn't acknowledging what exactly was happening. All she knew next was the feeling of his lips pressing down on hers, coaxing a low moan in her throat and a flare of electricity through her body. Lily, not thinking, parted her lips as he moved his tongue over them.

James was in heaven. This felt so good. Her mouth was so warm and sweet as he caressed her softly with his tongue, and the little whimpering noises that were coming from her throat were delicious. He found that he had his hands tangled in her auburn hair, running the rich colour through his fingers as he kissed her. The taste of her was intoxicating…such a sweet and pure taste. God, he wanted her…he wanted to possess her completely.

`Lil…' he breathed through the kisses, `god…I love you…'

James deepened the intensity of the assault on her mouth; getting lost in the sensation of her…here…with him…together. It was everything he wanted, and it was finally happening. He moved her towards the back of the sofa, pressing her sinewy body in between his and the soft material. James moved his hands down her sides, gripping her hips; just wanting to feel her here, making sure it's not some cruel trick his mind was mercifully playing on him. He knew the truth when he felt Lily's small hands on his shoulders and he slid his hands back up her body, gently kissing the base of her neck, and earning a whimper from her.

Lily felt a shock run through her as his lips met the sensitive space of skin near her collarbone, and she moaned from his hair brushing her skin, making it buzz with a feeling of charged electricity. Hearing him mumbling incoherent words, her mind was sent into an overdrive of questions and uncertainties.

Oh God, what am I doing? I don't get this…how did this happen? What does he think he's doing? This isn't right, I don't want this!

`Mmm, Lil…baby you're so beautiful,' she heard him sigh near her ear.

Lily cringed, remembering everything and not wanting to believe. She placed her hands over his wandering ones and tugged them off her body. James didn't understand as she pushed him away and he looked at her.

`Lil?' he ventured, unsure of what…and why…

`Don't…James…I just…I didn't want this…'

He moved into her again, running his hand through her hair, and cupping her face. Lily looked at him for a second then pulled away, moving out of the small space between the sofa and his strong body.

`Lily…please…don't do this…I love you…'

She couldn't listen to him; couldn't handle the situation. What was wrong with her? How come she didn't know what she was doing? It was as if he took her over for a moment in time. Her senses were in overload and all she was able to do was respond to his soft kisses…and delicate touches…

God, shut up! I don't love James!

She heard him call her name again as she made her way to her bedroom door, and she reluctantly turned around to look at him. He looked like a dishevelled puppy; his hair was more messy than normal - where she knew she had ran her fingers through it. His clothes were also a bit untidy, and Lily didn't want to know what she had done to do that.

`Lil…'

`Just stop James, ok?' she snapped, `that just then…it wasn't me, I don't want this…I don't want you James, after what has happened in the past, you can't really blame me can you?'

She turned around, walking closer towards her bedroom door, and she turned back to James' hurt expression, `I hope you don't expect me to believe what you said about Matthew…he's not like that James, and I know he's not…I'll make up my own mind thank you, and I don't need anyone else's contribution…

She paused, `I'll see you in the morning.'

With that, she turned and opened the door to her room, leaving a thoroughly hurt and confused James to watch her walk inside and close it firmly.

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14. Fairytales of White Horses

Cruel Summer

The sky was a brilliant blue as she sat there; her delicate fingers intertwining with the fresh grass, and the bright green contrasting beautifully with her pale flawless skin.

The scent of wild flowers…fresh water…and her…was indescribable yet intoxicating, and it floated over the air as though Mother Nature was relaxing alongside her and was slowing down everything.

Here…the world turned leisurely and life was more tranquil.

Natural.

She shifted her gaze onto the sky, bathing in its brilliance. Against everything that surrounded her, she was clearly the most beautiful and natural thing. There was an aura around her, flowing from her very skin and shrouding anything she touched in a translucent light.

The pretty embroidered gown she wore fluttered around her feet as she stood up; her toes sinking into the spongy grass. She lifted the gown slightly and took a step back up the small hill that lead back to the village.

The sun was high in the sky and it shone down onto her, making her plaid auburn hair shimmer under the light.

The world was still.

All that could be heard was the crumples of her feet pressing into the crisp grass, the occasional bird in the sky, or the silent whisper of the wind travelling through the trees behind her.

Then as if out of a Muggle Fairytale, a horse appeared in the distance…galloping towards her, and advancing on the tranquil spot. She stopped and watched the white animal approach swiftly, knowing exactly for what was to come.

He was astride. She looked up at him once he stopped gracefully in front of her, and she kept quiet; letting the gown slip through her fingers to let the trim rest on the floor defiantly. She squinted her green eyes slightly as she gazed up at him; his face staying resolute, except for his eyes wandering over the pretty gown she was adorning. She thought it was amusing how serious he was with the mass of untidy hair he continuously had.

Finally, he extended a large hand for her to take, `Come now Miss Lily…thou knows that one such as thyself should not venture outside the castle walls alone.'

She fixed her steely gaze on him, `It would not be prudent, Mr Potter, to let a girl choose her preferences for herself.'

`Exactly Miss, but one, by any means could only imagine where thine preferences lead thee.'

She looked at him in front of her and smiled; her soft rouged lips curving slightly and her eyes dancing with charm. She reached out her small hand to his and he grasped it firmly, pulling her up and over the horse.

She held his waist tightly and he turned around to face her, absently brushing a lock of fallen scarlet hair behind her ear.

Her emerald eyes met his and he kissed her gently, producing a soft sigh in the back of her throat. He pulled away from her and rested his forehead against hers, her eyes avoiding his and looking down at their entwined hands.

`Mr Potter…I believe that…I love thee…'

She continued to avoid his gaze and he reached his hand to her face and brought it up to meet his.

Brushing a tear away from her cheek, he smiled slightly, `I love thee also Miss Lily…I always have.'

He kissed her again, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, tears rolling freely down her face and merging into their kisses. She pulled away slowly and held tighter to his waist, and he turned back around, urging the horse on with a nudge of his boot and a sharp order. It set off in a canter with her clinging onto him…never wanting to let go.

Matthew Reede woke up with a jolt from the dream. He looked around the light room, not knowing where he exactly was. Then seeing other beds around his, he recalled that he was in the Infirmary. He tried to sit up, but a wrenching pain in his chest restricted him from going any further. His face also hurt like hell and he realised that one of his eyes was closed, and not that the room was just a bit darker than normal.

Son of a bitch!

And what the hell was that dream?

His head pulsed from the strain of too many things at once, and he rested his head back against the soft, white pillow. The dream had angered him to an extent of never wanting to ever witness the events of them falling in love in the real world. He swore revenge to the Gryffindor Seeker, and the fact that he was sweet on the Head Girl did make things extremely easy…and also appealing.
I might as well have fun while I'm at it.

But `seeing' Lily in that dress was great. He could just imagine her wearing something like that when he took her. Seeing Potter's face when he found out would be a bonus too…he would be aware of the fight that would come after that, giving him a chance to retaliate, and hopefully put Potter in this bed instead of him.

It wouldn't matter about what he did anyway…the damage would already be done…and there's nothing he could do.

Revenge was sweet, and Matthew couldn't help thinking about ways in which he could make sure that the dream he had would never become reality.

*****************************

Lily walked into the Infirmary the next morning, carrying a packet of Bertie Botts' Every Flavour Beans. She received a strange - but very welcome - smile from Miss Pomfrey, the Medi-Witch, and was allowed inside, no questions asked. Lily thought it was certainly due to her Head Girl position, and walked towards the row of beds by the large arched windows.

Seeing Matthew sitting on the edge of his bed, she made her way over to him and was greeted by a lopsided boyish smile.

`Hi,' she said tentatively, standing a few feet away from him.

`Hey Lil',' he answered, `how's you?'

Lily looked at him briefly, `Look…I'm sorry about James…he…well I don't know what he was thi…'

`It's ok,' he said, standing up, `everything's forgotten.'

She looked at him, frowning slightly and he smiled at her, as though reading her mind, `Miss Pomfrey's magic is amazing…good as new.'

The Head girl paused, looking at the Ravenclaw chaser. His hair was mussed…a little like James', she had noticed, but there was no marks or bruises over his pale skin. The new Medi-Witch was very good; Professor Dumbledore had made an excellent decision.

`Well…I'm glad you're alright, I couldn't believe what James had done to you.'

Matthew frowned, `He caught me off guard, that's all…I'm fine.'

`Yes…' she murmured, handing over the sweets, `I brought you these…as a peace offering, you know.'

He stepped towards her and she looked up into his face. Cupping her cheek in his hand, he moved towards her and softly grazed his lips over hers, in a fleeting breath of a kiss. But the intensity wasn't lost on her, and her eyes fluttered closed as he pulled away.

`Lily…' he started, her eyes meeting his again, `…I don't blame you…he clearly is in love with you, and jealousy is a fickle thing…I don't…'

Lily moved into him, sealing the space between their bodies, and pressing her soft lips firmly against his. Winding her arms around his neck and into his hair, he pulled her tight against him.

God, this is so easy…I should've thought of this earlier…

Matthew tore away from her lips and trailed hot kisses down her neck, feeling the quickened pulse under the delicate skin.

`Matthew…' she whispered, `I don't love James…I never have…what he feels for me doesn't jeopardise this…'

Using his low grunt as conformation that he had heard her, she concentrated on his fierce caresses down her chest, and heard a groan break the silence of the room, subconsciously aware that the groan came from herself.

Matthew turned and pushed her down onto the Infirmary bed. The soft springs pressing into her back as he moved on top of her, looking into her emerald eyes. Lily looked up at him nervously as he moved a large, Quidditch-trained, hand down her body, and she arched up into him slightly.

If only Potter could see her now…god, his face would be priceless!

`Mmm…Lily,' his eyes roamed over her short, school skirt, straying to the smooth expanse of skin of her legs.

Her long eyelashes rested against her rouged cheeks and her full lips were parted in a silent moan. He moved his face to her silky exposed thigh, and gently grazed a kiss over it, earning a whispered gasp to escape her throat.

You're just a little slut really, aren't you Lil'?

Matthew grinned to himself as he moved the kiss higher, sliding his hand along the silky-smoothness of the other.

A short, sharp cough brought them both out of the feeling of endless sensations, and Matthew jumped off the Head Girl. Lily sat up quickly on the bed, and they both looked at Miss Pomfrey. Surprisingly enough, the witch didn't seem that angered, and she fixed a look onto the Ravenclaw.

`I know that you have recovered to full health, Mr Reede, but you don't need to go flaunting the fact.'

With that, she turned and walked into her office. Lily looked up at Matthew in embarrassment, and she moved her legs over the side off the bed to get up.

She shifted her gaze over to the Chaser and paused, `So…I guess I'll see you later then.'

Matthew nodded, `yeah.'

Lily smiled slightly and moved past him, towards the door and out of it. He watched her leave and turned, to flop back on his bed.

Stupid god damned teacher…10 more minutes and I would've had her!

****************************

Before dinner, later that night, Lily and Rachel had planned to meet in the library to work on the Halloween Ball plans. The dark, book-filled room was pleasingly quiet as Lily poured over past Hogwarts books. She had gone through a lot of them already and marked things that had been done in past Balls, and she thought that it would be good to use some similar things. Rachel wasn't very good at the research part so she kept quiet and let her best friend do the thing she excelled at.

`Hmm, that would be nice,' the Head Girl pondered, turning the book around to face Rachel, `Read that.'

Rachel's sharp blue eyes fixed on the text in front of her, and the Gryffindor read aloud, `Hogwarts Halloween Festivity, 1854. The Muggle theatre was introduced and a `Play' was organised. The idea was based on the ways of Muggle Halloween, and it was the year that the Hogwarts class of Muggle Studies was introduced.'

Rachel paused and raised an eyebrow, `Won't that take forever Lil? I mean Halloween is only a week away…how are we meant to get everyone to take part?'

Lily sighed at her friends' scepticism and closed the large, leather bound book in front of her. She wanted this Ball to go exactly perfect and her ideas were swamping her mind. She also knew that the ball would be perfect if Matthew asked her to go.

Rachel narrowed her eyes at her best friends' dazed expression, and she sat forward in her large oak chair.

`What's that look on your face?'

Lily blinked and looked back at Rachel, `What?'

`You, you've got a dopey, lovesick smile on your face,' she grinned.

`Yeah right, sure I have,' the Head girl lied…badly.

`Come on Lil…tell me…what happened? Did you kiss him?'

A grin crept across Lily's face, but she tried to hide it by moving some of the books, `Look, we're trying to do this.'

Rachel pushed the books away sternly, `Lily. Come on…this is more important!'

Lily looked at her, faintly annoyed. But she knew her friend wouldn't cease to keep asking her until she finally gave in. After Lily had given Rachel the whole scenario, plus all the gory details as she had requested, Rachel was practically squirming in her seat from the fact that things were actually going on in the whole `Lily sex-life front'.

The Head Girl had to laugh at her friend; she seemed to be more engrossed in her affairs than her own. Typical Rache. The Gryffindor had finally calmed down enough for them to do some more research on the Ball before dinner, and they had come up with a lot of good ideas between them. Rachel had thought that the Ball should be formal dress, as the dressing up circumstances would be great fun, and even the boys would be able to get out of their stuffy black Hogwarts robes.

`Oh…Ben would so handsome,' Rachel swooned, `I'll have to pick out his clothes though…boys so can't do that!'

Lily had laughed at Rachel again, but then her mind drifted over to Matthews's appearance in formal robes. She smiled to herself, and continued to pack the books away.

This Ball's going to be fun.

*****************************

The Marauders - minus one - were sitting at the Gryffindor table talking worriedly about their best friend. Well, Sirius didn't think it was anything really to worry about whereas Remus on the other hand, he thought that there was something seriously wrong with him. They were trying to keep their voices low due to the fact of listening ears, but Remus was finding it hard to keep his voice at a whisper due to Sirius' serious lack of contribution.

`Look…' the werewolf hissed, `there is something wrong with James, Padfoot! I don't believe you can't see that!'

Sirius shifted his gaze from his plate of chips, to the boy in front of him, `well I don't…Prongs is fine.'

Remus sighed in exasperation of repeating himself, and cast the dark haired Gryffindor a hard glare. He knew exactly what was wrong with James, he could tell everything about his friends. Whether it was the werewolf inside him giving him a higher perception on everything, he didn't know…but he definitely knew that something weird was going on.

`I know exactly that James isn't just fine, Sirius,' he continued at a whisper, earning the look of the Marauder again.

`Oh and what's wrong then?' he answered sarcastically.

Remus paused, turned to the door and pointed slightly, `Her!'

Sirius twisted around quickly to watch Lily enter the Great Hall with Rachel. He narrowed his dark eyes in her direction has they sauntered over to the table together. He paused, just watching the girl sit down, laughing amicably with all her friends. After studying her fully, he turned back to Remus.

`You can't be sure of that.'

`Oh please…he's always talking about her…he beat up the guy she's dating…and erm he always talks about her!'

Sirius looked dryly back at him, the sarcasm of his friends' voice irritating him slightly. As he was about to retaliate, James appeared next to them and sat down. Remus eyed him carefully, while Sirius turned back to the plate in front of him. It was Peter who spoke.

`Hi Prongs…'

The Head Boy grunted a response and reached for food that covered the large section of table. He kept silent as he ate, and by the time dessert was nearly finished Sirius was also convinced - not that he would admit it though - that something was the matter with him. Remus kept sneaking him glares across the table, trying to express his points. After a while Sirius just left him to it, he wasn't going to get involved, and if it was about a girl he was surely doing the right thing.

But unfortunately, other people around him didn't have the same idea, and a 7th Year Gryffindor, who sat across the table, turned to James.

`I thought Lily was meant to set the school an example?'

James paused then slowly turned to the voice. Remus and Sirius watched on, not really knowing what to do.

`What?'

`Lily…' the boy said, pointing towards the Ravenclaw table, `inter-house dating…doesn't she know?'

The Marauders all turned the way he was indicating. Lily had moved from the Gryffindor table to sit with the Ravenclaws, and some of them - the girls mostly - weren't totally liking the fact that she had. She was sitting with Matthew, talking to him and smiling her pretty little smile. James sat glaring at both of them, not caring what strange looks he got in the meantime.

`Maybe they're just friends,' Peter suggested, getting three separate scowls from them.

`Don't be an idiot!' James snapped, turning to look back at the Head Girl.

They were sickening just looking at them. James wanted to go over there and somehow show her exactly what he was like. He didn't know what to do…she was making a mistake; he knew that…but she didn't.

God!

He watched the Chaser kiss the girl he loved, move his hands up her arm, and softly caress her neck. James sat wishing it was him. When Lily pulled away slowly, James watched Matthew look at his friends and wink, and they all grinned.

He couldn't take it anymore and he stood up in his seat, slamming the glass he held onto the oak table, and walking out of the Great Hall.

Matthew watched Lily turn around to the noise, and he held her chin to turn her back to him. Lily looked at him, and frowned slightly.

`Forget him Lil…he's just jealous.'

Sirius caught the chaste kiss that he placed on the Head Girl's lips, and he narrowed his eyes at the Ravenclaw. Feeling someone watching him, Matthew glanced at Sirius, and grinned. Sirius got up from the table, eyes of Remus and Peter on him.

`Come on,' he said to both of them, `…James is gonna need our help if he wants to do this properly.'

Remus frowned but obeyed him out of curiosity, and they walked out of the Great Hall and up to the Head dormitories. Sirius didn't even bother to glance at the Chaser for the last time.

He should have known better…the Marauders never let anything go without retribution.

A/N: Hehe bit of a cheesy ending! Plz R&R…stuff's gonna start happening soon!!!!!

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15. The Marauders Evil Plan

Cruel Summer

The three Marauders had failed to see James after dinner due to the very stubborn portrait Veela. Sirius had tried the seductive approach, which had seemed to be working until Peter opened his big mouth and ruined it.

The platinum-blonde girl had then turned back to the large mirror that she sat in front of, and turned her perfect nose up at them. Sirius had then gone for the calm approach, and when that presented no results, the anger took over.

After his colourful outburst of insults, he had turned and stormed away, deciding that he hated the whole Veela situation, and cursing them all to hell.

Not literally.

They had gone back to the Gryffindor common room, where Sirius finally decided to tell them what he had thought for revenge. The plan would be very distressing for both of them, Remus had wisely pointed out, and it would hurt Lily a lot.

`But it will make her see what he's like!'

`Padfoot…' Remus started tentatively, `you do know that you act the same as him sometimes…don't you?'

`This is different!' he had snapped back, `This is about Prongs, Moony…he obviously needs help with this, and Reede needs some ass-kicking anyway.'

Remus paused and rested his chin on his hand, `What about Lily?'

`What about her?' Sirius asked, standing up.

`Sirius,' Remus sighed, `this isn't some prank that we just do; this is messing with people's feelings…Lily…well, could you live with what she'll go though?'

`Yes!' he answered quickly, `Because it'll be better in the long run…and then James can swoop in after the damage has been done.'

Remus stayed silent but kept his wolfish eyes on his best friend, a single thought running quickly through his head, `You can't tell him about this.'

`What? Why?'

`Because…' Remus began, standing up as well, `if Lily somehow finds out that we did this, then she'd hate James if he's involved.'

Sirius paused as if analysing the idea then nodded his head.

`Padfoot?' Peter mumbled and looked up at the Marauder, biting his lip slightly, `I don't know if I feel comfortable sabotaging their rela…'

`Shut up!' Sirius snapped, silencing the Gryffindor and looking around the room, `Someone could be listening!'

Peter didn't continue in finishing his sentence, and he looked at Remus who just shrugged and flopped back onto the large, squishy sofa. Sirius looked back at Wormtail after acknowledging no one was in the room, and replayed the words he said. His brow furrowed as he pieced together the next part of the comment he was about to make, and stepped towards the smaller boy.

`Don't you dare pull out of this!' he hissed at him, `we are in this together…ok?'

Peter nodded quickly, and Remus shifted his gaze over to his friend. His sharp eyes took in the two boys. Sirius' tall, dark frame looming over Peter's small, weak one, and making him tremble a little. Sirius could look truly menacing when he wanted to, and he delighted in the fact that it worked so easily on Peter. The smaller boy saw Sirius and James as some kind of gods, and it amused Remus slightly because he saw them as they were. He pitied Peter occasionally, as he was usually on the end of their jokes…but only occasionally.

The Pack always picks out the weak…it's natural.

Sirius finally turned back to him and voiced his opinion on how the plan should go ahead. Remus had to give him credit, he had thought this through immensely and it was good. It was merciless…but it was good. Remus only hoped that James was as good at comforting as he was a Quidditch.

He'll need to be.

**************************

Lily sat at the Gryffindor table for breakfast with her friends. She was trying to think of ways that she could plan the upcoming Halloween Ball and, at the same time, pick out suitable decorations from the leather bound book that Professor McGonagall had given her to browse over. There was so much stuff that had to be done in only a few days, and there was also the imminent Muggle Studies Project that she was meant to research for, and which was also the first lesson of the day.

`I feel like I'm going to rip in half with all the things I'm doing at once,' she moaned at Rachel.

Rachel, who also had decided to sit at the Gryffindor table this morning, looked at her friend, and placed a reassuring hand on her arm.

`It'll be ok Lil', I'm here to help you.'

While this was true, Lily couldn't help feeling that Rachel hadn't done much in contribution of…anything actually, and shifted her emerald gaze over to her. Her best friend was halfway biting into a crumpet when she realised she was being observed.

`What?' Rachel asked with her mouth full, `I am there for you.'

Lily grinned at her best friend's manners, and looked back at the large book. She didn't realise it was this hard, and she was worried that what she picked out may not be up to everyone else's standards.

Maybe I should have asked James for help…no, it's too late now.

The Head Girl tapped her fingernails on the wooden table, and stared off into space, still not able to decide on anything. After a while, Rachel tapped her on the shoulder, causing her to shake her mind free of thoughts to look at her best friend.

`Come on Lil'…it's time for class.'

Picking up her small bag, Lily made her way from the Great Hall heading for the Muggle Studies Classroom, not realising a pair of eyes were fixed onto her retreating form.

***************************

The Marauder watched Lily closely as she exited though the large hall doors. He frowned slightly, knowing he only had a certain amount of time before the plan would take affect, and the battle would start. Pausing for a second, he looked across the room, making eye-contact with her quickly. Her black eyes flashed her acknowledgement of the commands silently, and causing a faint smirk to trace over her rouged lips. Holding her gaze, he stood up leisurely and stretched like a cat. He caught the lustful stare that she threw in his direction and was sure she momentarily licked her lips.

He smirked inwardly, moving away from the table and making his way towards the door that Lily had just left through. He knew she would follow him…she always did…she was at his beckon call…whenever he wanted her.

Walking out of the Great Hall, he made his way down the corridor leading towards the Slytherin Dungeons. The place was dark and cold, the same as ever before, and he stopped to move into the shadows. He waited for 5 minutes, listening out for her slight and quiet footfalls. The soft sound met his ears and he smirked a little, waiting for her.

The ebony haired girl moved slowly down the corridor…something didn't feel right. She looked around the darkness warily, taking in all of the shadows and the shallow light of the candles. It was when she stepped deeper into the black that his hand caught her arm and his fingers curled around her soft flesh.

The small gasp that came from her throat, made him smirk and pull her into the shadows with him. He could just picture her soft lips parted, and her deep, black eyes wide with shock. Caressing her silky hair, his sought what he was looking for, and pressed his lips against hers. She gasped again but he felt a slight grin on her lips as he kissed them.

The Slytherin pushed her arms up his chest and around his neck. She loved it when he did this, it was completely forbidden between the houses…but god it was so good.

`Sirius…' she gasped as he trailed searing kisses down the soft curve of her throat.

The Marauder ran his hands down her body forcefully, gripping her skin and kneading it with his large fingers. He grasped her waist and turned them both quickly so he had her pressed against the dark dungeon wall. She didn't even realise what he had done until she felt the chill of bricks against her back. Her black eyes flew up to his face, watching the smirk that flitted across his equally dark features.

The caresses stopped.

The girl searched his face for some kind of explanation…she was greeted with nothing. Still pinning her, Sirius looked at her harder as though contemplating whether she would be right…or trustworthy…for the little job he wanted her to do.

From the scrutiny of his gaze, a small flush spread over her cheeks, and she was glad of the darkness at that point in time. She felt his hand move to her hair again, gently touching the soft curls then losing his fingers into them, he brought her face closer to his.

`Amiya…'

The Slytherin closed her eyes as he breathed her name.

God…

`I need you to do something for me…'

It took her a second before she realised what he had said; and she opened her eyes again slowly, the classic petulant expression covering her pretty face. Sirius ignored it and continued in his request.

*****************************

The Common Room was quite busy as Sirius walked back up to it. People were obviously trying to finish their homework quickly for the next day, as they'd left it until the last minute. He looked around the room, his eyes searching for the two Marauders. He noticed them sitting at the oak table, Remus trying vainly to point out the reasoning behind the latest Divination homework to Peter. The two boys were sat at the table with diagrams, star charts and Scrying textbooks everywhere, trying to figure out the logic.

Looking across the room, he saw Lily sitting in one of the corners, wrapped up in a large book, researching the Halloween ball. Sirius frowned, then realised that she was probably here to be away from James, who was probably doing his homework in the Head Common Room.

The Marauder rolled his eyes and walked over to Remus and Peter. They looked up, and greeted him quickly, turning back the charts. Sirius frowned and bent down to their ear level, not wanting any unwanted attention.

`The deed is done.' He whispered quietly, making them stop and look back at him.

He grinned at Remus' composed expression and Peter's wide-eyed one. There was no going back now…not now not ever…all they had to do now was wait…wait for the calm to pass and the storm to begin.

-->

16. The Sheerness of Beauty

Cruel Summer

The Halloween Ball was planned for the Saturday coming and it was Wednesday already. Lily was fretting over whether she had chosen the correct colour decorations, or picked out the right candles that would set off the appropriate mood for the Hall. In the last couple of days things had been very hectic and the pressure was definitely affecting her…not that she would admit it of course...

James had graciously offered to help her again, but - with her pride speaking for her - she declined. But now, most of the things had been arranged and the decisions had been made. And Lily couldn't help worrying if her decisions had been the right ones.

`But what if people hate it?' she whined, `I'll be a complete laughing stock.'

Rachel sighed and rolled her eyes for the 5 thousandth time in the Muggle Studies class. Lily had thrown her quill down onto the blank parchment, and was now staring at her friend with a look of pure horror. She had decided that trying to calm this girl was like…

…trying to get Malfoy to date a Hufflepuff…

Lily's eyes dilated as she watched her best friend stifle a loud laugh, `What?!'

`Oh…nothing…' Rachel smiled, thinking of the prospect.

That is so funny!

Seeing Lily turn back to her shopping centre research with a little `hmph!', Rachel looked at her and patted her arm.

`Look…don't worry ok? What you've decided will be fine. Everyone will love it I'm sure!'

The Head Girl sighed. Will it be ok? I hope so. Lily didn't know what she had to prove to people, but it was like a need she had to fulfil. Maybe it was with her obsession for everything to be perfect…maybe that she had to live up to what everyone expected of her…maybe…maybe there was a million reasons.

Rubbing her temples slightly, she looked down at the assignment. The Professor had informed them that in a week they would be going on their first school trip to a real Muggle Shopping Centre. Whereas most of the students - Rachel included - had delighted at the fact of this information, Lily thought the trip would only be just like a normal shopping experience. Although, she did wonder what the uninformed Purebloods would wear to a Muggle shopping centre…that should be amusing.

Picking up her quill again, she started to write down some random notes on the blank sheet. This was the last class of the day, she was thankful of, and just wanted to go and sit in the common room and relax. It wasn't just physical tiredness she felt from the whole `planning the upcoming ball', but mental tiredness as well…the cause of which she didn't know.

Hmm…maybe I'll have a bath…nothing more relaxing than that.

Lily was still staring into space when Rachel nudged her with her elbow. The class had ended and Rachel was packing up her things into her small bag. Following her quickly, the two girls walked out of the classroom and into the corridor. Deciding to meet up at dinner, Lily left her at the stairs and made her way up to the Head Common Room.

The Common Room seemed to be absent of James, as she walked into it and chucked her bag onto the table. She decided it was odd that she felt indifferent at this fact, but soon forgot when she walked into her bedroom and flopped down onto her bed. The soft mattress succumbed to her body, and she melted into the luxury of it.

Sighing after a couple of minutes, she pulled herself away from the mattress and walked over the dividing wall, separating the bathroom. Twisting the knob quietly, she pushed the door open and stepped inside. The bathroom was immaculate as always, and seemed to give an extra kind of sheen than what she was used to in the normal bathrooms around the school. Walking to the large bath - that took up most of the room at the corner - she brought out her wand and tapped on the small mermaid statue twice. The water immediately started to pour out from the urn that she was holding, and it was at the temperature that Lily liked.

`Huh…' she mused, `I wonder how they do that…'

Removing her robes and shoes, Lily stepped into the marble bathtub. She pulled her hair into a chignon, fixed it with her wand and sat down into its depths. The hazy scent of jasmine filled her nostrils as she sat back, and closed her eyes. It was wonderful.

After about 5 minutes of glorious relaxing, a loud rap on the other door made her sit up quickly, and turn her head towards it.

`Lily?'

It was James.

`Lil, are you in there?'

The Head Girl frowned, and snapped back, `Well, who else would it be?'

A pause followed her question, then James spoke, `Sirius…maybe?'

`Sirius knows the Head password?!'

`Erm…anyway Lil…are you decent? Can I come in?'

Lily saw the handle turn, `No!'

`Ok.'

The handle stopped moving and James paused again, `Well…can I talk to you after then?'

Lily sighed, wondering what he wanted to talk about, `Yeah.'

Please don't let it be the situation…please…

James turned back away from the door and walked out of his bedroom, into the Common Room. Collapsing onto the soft, red sofa he let out a sigh. A couple minutes passed before he heard Lily's door open and she emerged from it. Swallowing a little, James watched her walk towards the sofa, her arms folded slightly across her chest. She still had her hair up with her wand holding it delicately in place, but now a few strands were free and curling in ringlets across her shoulders.

God…she's so beautiful…

`What did you want to talk about?'

James mentally shook himself free from the thoughts he had, and continued to try and find an answer to her question.

`Oh…right…erm…'

Lily subconsciously took a step back when she watched him stand up from the sofa. The lit fire behind him made him look…kind of ethereal…and it unnerved her a little.

`Erm…you know the Muggle Studies project?' James began, wondering how to phrase it properly, so that she wouldn't pick up the truth, `Well…people have been coming up to me and asking questions you know…'

Lily frowned and shifted on her feet slightly. She had no clue where this was going…and with James she didn't really want to hazard a guess.

`…and some of their questions about Muggles and stuff I can answer…but someone asked me…erm, that you know when you want to buy something…and you have the money and stuff…well, where do you put the money when you want to buy it?'

Lily had to pause and re-run the question through her head, thinking somewhere along the line, something didn't make sense. She looked back at him, surprised to find him looking at her intently, awaiting her answer.

`In a shop?' she finally spoke.

`Yeah.'

`You want to know how to pay for stuff in a shop?'

`Yeah…well, someone does.'

Lily frowned, and then said in exasperation, `James, you came shopping with me!'

`I know that,' he said bitterly.

`Well then…you should know how to do it…we bought enough clothes!'

`So…you're saying that all shops have Muggles who work on tills and stuff?'

`Yes!'

He paused as though pondering the idea, then… `Ok, thanks Lils'

Lily turned quickly to see him walk to his room…something didn't add up…

`James?' she asked, making him stop and look at her, `Who asked you?'

The Head Boy looked at her for a second, and then smiled the nicest smile Lily had ever seen on him, `Oh…just someone I know.'

She frowned as she watched him disappear into his room, closing the door firmly behind him. Lily didn't know what to do…what had she just witnessed there? Was James Potter actually being human? And was Lily seeing him as a human? A gorgeous one at that? That smile…what was that?

Too many questions were flitting through her brain as she walked back to her room, closing the door behind her. And in the Head Boy bedroom, James was making up his own plan to win over the only girl he ever properly wanted.

*****************************

Thursday and Friday passed rapidly and it was Saturday before Lily realised. The blood-pressure of the Head Girl was running extremely high today due to the impending Halloween Ball…or…`would-be-disaster-because-knowing-my-luck-it-bloody-well-will-be'.

She had eaten nothing that morning and was still sitting at the Gryffindor table at 11 o'clock in the morning. She had chosen to sit and review everything that was planned, and had insisted that Dumbledore agreed on starting the assembling of the decorations earlier to make sure everything ran smoothly.

Rachel had wisely chosen to sit at the Slytherin table with a few of the girls today due to Lily's short temper, and thought it best to leave her friend alone in circumstances like this. The only way that she knew of, that may deter her from having a nervous breakdown would be a certain Quidditch Captain. She decided that she would ambush the Ravenclaw Chaser before he disturbed the Head Girl, explain the situation, then maybe he could use his charm to bring her back into the land where people actually ate the food that they were given and pulled their head out of books long enough to do it.

`Hmm,' Rachel thought, looking at the large clock at the end of the hall, `Quidditch practice should be over now…I wonder where he is.'

`What's the matter?'

Rachel turned to the black haired girl sitting across from her, `Oh…nothing…just thought Quidditch practice was over now…I think Matt should talk Lil' out of, you know, passing out from exhaustion before tonight.'

The girl paused, glanced over at Lily, and then looked back to Rachel, a small smile gracing her doll-like features. She noticed that the smile didn't, at all, meet her eyes, and if she'd had thought about it more, it may have been interpreted as a venomous smirk.

`Don't worry,' Amiya spoke gently, lifting the pumpkin juice glass up to her rouged lips, `I'm sure she'll consider everything differently before tonight is over.'

It was then that Matthew Reede chose to walk into the Great Hall, and Rachel - not wanting to miss telling him about Lily - overlooked the comment that the Slytherin girl had said. Getting up from the table quickly and glancing at Lily, who was still deeply engrossed in the notes she had made, she made her way over to the group of Ravenclaw Quidditch players.

`Reede?'

The 7 boys turned to the feminine voice behind them, grinning lewdly at the Gryffindor girl they saw. Rachel narrowed her blue eyes and folded her arms across her chest. She had no problem telling people where they stand, and wasn't going to start now.

`When you've quite finished and put your tongues back into your mouths,' Rachel snapped, `I would like to speak to you, Matt…in private.'

Choosing to ignore their stupid comments, Rachel waited for Matthew to detach himself from the group of idiots long enough to explain the `Lily-situation'. She told him to try and persuade her…nicely…to give the planning a break for at least an hour, and then go back to it later. While this was a good plan in theory, she was dubious about whether it would work…but, conveniently, forgot to mention this to the Chaser.

However, after watching the long persuasion of the Ravenclaw to the Head Girl, she finally relented and they left the Great Hall together, leaving the planning books discarded until later on the Gryffindor table.

*****************************

James was having a bad day. In fact he was having a bad week. He knew that he had to make an appearance at the Halloween Ball being Head Boy…yada yada yada…but he didn't understand why he had to.

Especially when Lily's gonna be there with him!

He had tried to find a girl all week to go with; so it looked like he didn't need her…but James overlooked one fact…he did need her. He needed her so much that that was the reason he didn't have a date.

He was…subconsciously of course…comparing all the girls to her!

And if they didn't meet up to the standard, well…lets just say…they didn't get very far with him.

God damn! Why am I so stupid?!

Pacing around the castle had led him outside to the courtyard without really knowing it. He didn't know what he was going to do. His plan had seemed a good idea at the time when he had first thought about it. But now…ugh…

I mean…what is she gonna say? `Oh thank you so much, I must have you now!' No way! It's just going to be awkward and embarrassing.

James sat down on one of the benches and rested his head in his hands. He must have been sitting out there for at least 15 minutes before the rest of the Marauders found him.

`Prongs?'

The Head Boy looked up into the faces of his three best friends, and mumbled what Sirius thought to be a greeting of some sort.

`What are you doing out here?' he heard Remus ask.

For some reason the question annoyed him and he snapped his response, `What does it look like Moony? I'm knitting a sweater!'

Sirius, Remus and Peter exchanged glances that could only be a mixture of hesitance, regret in asking the question, and a dollop of anger that they were helping him without his knowledge of it.

`What's wrong?' Sirius asked.

The Marauder just shrugged at his question, not really wanting to talk to them about it or his feelings. The only thing he could talk to them about was…

`We are so gonna beat Ravenclaw in the next Quidditch match!' James spat, `I think I'm gonna call everyone out for extra practices so we can kick their fuckin' asses.'

This in turn caused the rest of the Marauders again to look at each other in uncertainty. Sirius raised his eyebrows to them then turned back to James and patted his shoulder.

`Erm…whatever you want mate.'

James didn't answer and a silence swept over the conversation, until…

`…yeah, I know you want me to stop for a while, but I've got to head back to the Hall…'

The four Marauders looked up to Lily and Matthew walking together, in the direction of the Great Hall. She was obviously having withdrawal symptoms about not thinking about the plans, and Reede was trying to convince her to stay with him.

`Come on Lil', you can go back to that in a sec.'

James fists constricted into tight balls as he watched the Ravenclaw take Lily's wrist and pull her towards him. When Matthew started to kiss the side of her face and near her ear, James had to avert his eyes quickly…otherwise Matthew might not have made it past the `ear-nibbling' stage.

Raw and cutting jealousy ripped through his chest and constricted his lungs, causing him to have to concentrate on breathing steadily and not in a rasping and jagged manner.

Sirius felt his best friend tense up beside him, and was once again glad that `Plan Sabotage' was going ahead. Sirius looked over to Remus, catching the other boys gaze and grinning mischievously. Moony's returning response was a subtle roll of the eyes, but he felt also now that what Sirius had decided was the right way to go.

James got up from the bench, not wanting to be around his friends and the awkward silences, at the moment. But what he had decided, during the time of jealousy that he felt, that he would go ahead with his what he decided…

…he was going to get Lily…

…and Reede was going down!

*********************************

The Great Hall was magnificent.

From what Lily had been stressing over that it wouldn't be up to everyone's standard…she was indeed extremely wrong. The Hall ceiling, naturally see-though to see the weather outside, was now an ebony cloak with shattered shards of starlight existing for an eternity. The soft, flickering light of the candles created gentle shadows that caressed the atmosphere and added to the ambience, and the room had been decorated with beautiful drapes, from each house, hanging from the walls. Lily had also asked Professor Dumbledore if he would ask the Faeries to provide some of their decorations, and they had come up with charming the air so that it sparkled slightly and had a hazy scent, like the one that appeared in the Head Bathroom a couple of days ago. The Faeries had also decided that they wanted to stay for the Ball, and Lily had thought it quite appropriate that they did.

The music was gentle and formal, and gazing at the final result, Lily decided that her hard work had definitely paid off. Apart from the necessary input of the Professors here and there, she had done it all herself…and it was one of the proudest moments of her life.

Everything was perfect.

`Lil!' a voice called behind her.

She turned around to see her best friend walking swiftly towards her, and she smiled. Rachel's face was full of awe…she was gazing wide-eyed around the hall, and pointing out certain effects or features that she liked.

`Oh my god Lil! It's gorgeous! Oh everyone will love it!'

`Really?' she beamed, glad that her best friend approved.

`Yes, Miss Evans,' Dumbledore's voice, `It is, indeed, a spectacle…one of the best displays I've seen in my years at Hogwarts.'

Lily's beam widened at the compliment and Rachel hugged her best friend and kissed her cheek.

`Well done Lil'.'

James watched from outside the Great Hall entrance door. He couldn't help admiring her, as she smiled at the shower of praise she was receiving. She really had done a good job, and he agreed with Rachel when she said everyone would love it.

He loved it.

He loved her.

***********************************

It was half past six as Lily made her way back up to the Head Common Room. Rachel had left her to get changed and ready, in the Gryffindor Dormitories, which had excited the blonde immensely. There was nothing better than dressing up, to Rachel, and she thought that it was the best part of the night. Lily smiled gently thinking of her friend.

What would I do without her?

Walking up the wide stairs, Lily absently thought about what she should wear. Her mother had given her a lilac chiffon styled dress with an embroidered hem bit, and she had decided that she would wear that. It was very pretty and it fit nicely as well. Lily wondered what Matthew might wear, and grinned to herself at the prospect.

I bet he looks gorgeous…I guess he'll be the pretty one in the couple.

Reaching the Veela portrait, and saying the password to her, Lily walked through the passageway and into the Common Room. The fire was still burning fervently and the room was gloriously warm. Removing her Muggle jumper, and tossing it onto the table - where most of the things went when she entered the room - she walked to her bedroom. The previously unmade bed was now neat and tidy and her things were all arranged in order.

Bless the house-elves.

Making sure the shared bathroom was unoccupied, she decided to try out the shower and it was surprisingly good. The same jasmine scent floated over her and Lily came to think that the water must be charmed to smell like that…she wasn't complaining.

She kept imagining everyone in the school getting ready and wondering what, and how, they would expect the hall to be. She smiled to herself as she stepped out of the marble shower and wrapped a large towel around herself. Grabbing a smaller towel, she towel dried her hair a little, and walked into the room to get her `Young Witch's Guide to Hair and Beauty' book. Finding the right hairstyle that she wanted, she located her wand and spoke the spell clearly. Her hair dried immediately and then her natural curls seemed to accent themselves more. The vibrant auburn shade shimmered under the light and she inspected it carefully for any mistakes.

Everything seemed to be fine, and the Head Girl moved towards her bed, unravelling the towel.

A gentle knock on the door startled her and made her grab for the towel again, `Yes?!'

`Lil'?'

`Yeah, what's the matter?'

`What are you wearing?' James asked after a pause.

Lily frowned, wondering why he wanted to know that. She finally answered, `A towel.'

On the other side of the door, James melted, a thousand images flitting through his active mind. His mouth suddenly going dry he tried to think of what he previously wanted to say.

`Well…' he started, `can I just talk to you a second?'

`Now?'

`Please,' he answered firmly, and hearing her sigh.

`Ok.'

James walked back towards the sofa, resting on the back of it and waiting for her. Lily opened the door to her room, grasping the towel around her and wondering what the hell she was doing. Walking into the Common Room, something felt different…

Have the lights dimmed or something?

Then her breath caught in her throat as she looked upon the boy before her. Time stood still for a couple of seconds as they looked at each other. James was dressed in a black suit with a white shirt that was slightly undone underneath. He was…gorgeous…

His hair, although still messy, was set off by the black clothes, and his hair looked…right…that way anyway. He was holding something in his left hand, a bag. A large bag. She stepped further towards him, acutely aware that she was naked under the towel.

Suddenly, her voice found her again, `You scrub up nicely.'

`Thanks,' he smiled, his blue eyes flashing with the grin.

James' mind was on overload; knowing that the towel was the only thing covering her. Her hair seemed to glitter under the soft light and he longed to run his fingers through it, maybe kissing her as he did it…

`So…'she began, swallowing slightly, `what did you want to talk about this time?'

The Head Boy smiled again and held up the large bag. Lily frowned, not thinking that he would spend his money on her.

`For me?' she asked, frowning.

He nodded, watching as she walked up to him. He could see she was having trouble thinking about what it was that he would have bought her, and he caught her sneaking glances at him in confusion.

`James, you shouldn't have bought me anything.'

`I wanted to…as a peace offering I guess,' he said, giving her the bag.

`But still…'

Taking the bag reluctantly, she walked to the oak table with James following her. Removing the plastic, she pulled out a large cardboard box and laid it on the table. Strangely she didn't want to open it; scared of what she would find. On the box, in the centre, was a `W' surrounded by a heart. Again, her brow furrowed, and then she felt James nudge her back.

`Open it.'

Lily looked at him, the firelight dancing across his dark features. She was sure she was dreaming and would wake up at any moment, but the feel of James when he nudged her was still burning on that spot. Turning back to the box, she reached for the lid and gently pulled it away from the base. The soft texture of gift-wrapped paper met her eyes, and instantly she realised that this wasn't something in wizardry. This was a Muggle item.

Her curiosity now intensified, she reached for the paper, being careful not to tear it for some reason. She felt James' hand on her back as she removed the paper, and what met her eyes made her gasp loudly with unbelievable amazement.

`Oh my god!'

It was The Dress!

She pulled her hand away as though it had scorched her, and placed it over her mouth, the shock still coursing through her.

Oh. My. God!

Lily turned and looked at James, a gentle smile on his face. She couldn't believe it. A million questions were going through her mind, most of them beginning with the word `Why?'

She couldn't tear her eyes away from him, and finally she got out, `Why?'

James paused, his fingers idly playing with a lock of curls on her shoulder, `Because, I wanted to…I knew how much you liked it.'

`But…the money…'

`…isn't a problem,' he finished for her, `I thought you could wear it tonight.'

Lily couldn't believe he'd done this, it was so…unbelievable…there was no words to describe it. Somewhere in the chaos of her mind, she realised a few tears were tumbling down her cheeks. She'd never been so overwhelmed in her life, and she didn't know what to do. James wiped the tears away from her face and smiled at her bewilderment.

She turned and looked back at The Dress sitting neatly in the presentation box, and reached out slowly to touch the material. It flowed across her fingertips like water, just like it had in the shop, and the gorgeous emerald satin dazzled under the light. Lily saw other colours in the material when it moved, and still she couldn't comprehend just what was happening.

`This is unbelievable James…' she said softly, gazing at The Dress, `it's so beautiful, I…I don't know what to say…'

`Say that you'll at least try it on,' he smirked.

Lily hadn't realised she had grasped his arm in the shock and was still holding it tightly, as though if she didn't her legs might give way. But the Head Boy wasn't complaining at all, any contact he had with her was a god send.

`When I bought it, the sales-woman advised that I got the accessories that went with it…so…'

Lily looked at him wide-eyed, `James, you didn't!'

He shrugged, pointing at the box, `Everything's in there…anything you don't want, don't use.'

The Head Girl looked back at The Dress, let go of James and reached for it. Before she touched it she asked, `Can I?'

`Of course,' he laughed, watching as she lifted The Dress from the box, carefully.

Lily held the dress against herself, marvelling in that it was hers. Looking at the tag, she realised he had even gotten her size right, and glanced at him quickly. What caught her attention though were the accessories at the bottom of the box. All matching The Dress, was a pretty wrap that had small embroidered flowers in one corner, a pair of green satin mules, and a pair of green jewelled earrings with a matching hair slide and necklace.

`James…' she breathed, lost in a world that she was sure she would wake up at any moment in.

The Head Boy reached for the box and took her arm, guiding her towards her bedroom.

`Go and try it on first,' he said, pushing her into her room.

Shutting the door firmly behind her, James turned around and ran a hand through his messy hair. With her making all those breathy moans, he had had to get rid of her quickly before she thought his intentions weren't honourable.

God…what does she do to me…

She had looked so delighted, and he loved to see her like that…she was so vulnerable then, he just wanted to take her in his arms and hold her. Hold her forever…

It was about 15 minutes before she immerged from her room again. James turned to look at the girl of his dreams, and nearly liquefied from the sheer beauty of her.

The satin sleeveless gown clung to her curvy body so deliciously and the wrap around her arms heightened the elegance of the mirage she made. The jewellery sparkled outstandingly, and it seemed to enhance her deep emerald eyes.

When she stepped forward, he noticed the shoes that matched the dress. Everything looked so stunning. She looked so stunning. There was just no way to describe the sheerness of it.

`Well…is it ok?'

Understatement of the century!

`You look…so…beautiful.'

The smile that grew across her pretty face was as gorgeous as the rest of her, and James couldn't quite believe how he was not standing there with a situation in his trousers. Lily walked towards him and stopped a couple of feet in front.

`Thank you…so much,' she said softly, `I don't know what else to say…there's nothing that could compare…'

James kept silent, thinking about how, before, he had thought how this might be awkward and embarrassing…but there was nothing he would have rather done…it was perfect.

`In the past…' she began, looking at the floor, `we haven't really gotten along…and I know…that sometimes we did certain things irrationally…'

Lily looked back into his face, `…things we regret…I'm sorry for things that can't be changed…but I'm not sorry for how it ended out…what you've done is so unreal and I still can't believe it's true…thank you James.'

Then she moved into him, causing his mind to start to unravel and his heart start to race. Lily looked up at him as she moved her arms up and around his neck. James, caught in a moment of oblivion, moved his arms around her back pulling her into him more. She rested her head on the curve of his shoulder, and he brought one hand up and into her hair. It was a simple embrace…between friends?

`Thank you.'

James moved his face down and kissed her hair, it was intoxicating, her scent, her touch, everything about her was soaking into him. Making him hunger it.

`Anytime Lils,' he whispered softly.

God, I love you so much.

Lily pulled away gently, smiling up at him. His eyes were burning into her, undressing her. Why did she feel bad about it? Did she want it too? Was this too complicated?

Looking at the Wizard clock on the side of the room, Lily stood away from him and smoothed the dress from tiny creases.

`It's time to go,' she spoke, `are you going with anyone?'

James flushed in embarrassment, `Erm…does Sirius, Remus and Peter count?'

Lily laughed, `Of course…but…I can't believe you're not going with anyone.'

The Head Boy shrugged and Lily decided to drop the subject quickly. Still, she wondered why…James was attractive…and with his Marauder thing, she thought he could get most girls.

`I can't wait to see Matt's face when I walk down the stairs wearing this…he'll be so surprised.'

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!

`Yeah,' he ground out, `why wouldn't he be?'

Lily paused for a second, and then spoke, `Anyway, I'll see you in the Great Hall right?'

`Yeah,' he muttered, hands in pockets.

She frowned slightly, and then moved towards him. Placing her hand on his chest, she leaned up and pressed her lips against his cheek softly. The moment caused James a great deal of shock and he felt his arousal stir. He gripped her arm, holding her in place, and causing the kiss to linger. Lily's emerald eyes shifted up and rested on his, and she slid her hand up to his cheek, moving his face around slightly. Her eyes fluttering closed, she pressed her soft lips to his, and felt James grip her back.

Lily pulled away suddenly, looking at the floor. James shifted his hand up to touch her face, but she pulled out of his arms quickly. He didn't understand…what was wrong? What happened?

Lily moved towards the portrait, `I'm sorry…I'm with Matt…'

James frowned in anger as she walked out of the Common Room quickly, the door closing sharply behind her.

What the hell was that? She made the first move! Not me!

Pinching the bridge of his nose slightly from the stress of the rapid fluctuating emotions, James looked towards the door that she exited from quickly. Walking towards it himself, he made his way to Gryffindor Common Room.

I need Sirius' help with this.

-->

17. Things That Change

Cruel Summer

The Gryffindor portrait door swung open, and James stepped inside quickly. The room was full of students bustling about, making noise and generally waiting until the Ball started. He looked around, trying to locate his three best friends over the din. Everyone was dressed formally, James noticed, as he pushed through the bodies and made his way over to a small crowd of people.

He frowned slightly when Sirius, with his arm around a girl, came into his line of sight.

Huh…I thought we were all going together…maybe not…

`Prongs!' Sirius greeted loudly, holding what looked to be a bottle of Firewhiskey.

Everyone turned to look at him, and James acknowledged their welcome then turned quickly to Sirius, `Padfoot…I need to speak to you…'

`Can't at the minute mate,' he replied, pulling the girl tighter to him and grinning, `kinda busy…'

The Head Boy glared at his so-called best friend and looked at the girl he was standing with. She was blonde - typical Sirius - assez pretty and her magically manicured fingers dug into Sirius' arm as though he was a figment of her imagination that she didn't want to give up just yet. Looking at Remus and Peter, he noticed they too were with girls and he cursed them silently under his breath.

Gits! They could have at least told me! Now I'm gonna look like a right idiot!

Sirius had apparently dislodged the girl from his arm for a second to clap him on the back. James looked at him as he gestured to the Common Room door. Professor McGonagall was standing there, dressed in formal dress robes. James wasn't surprised that the Transfiguration teacher had overlooked Lily's request to wear Muggle clothing that evening. And he was glad that he didn't have to witness the stringent teacher actually wearing them.

`Now Gryffindor's, it is almost time for the Halloween Ball to begin. I will ask you all to follow me now to the Entrance Hall and wait patiently until the Ball is opened by the Head Boy and Girl.'

James groaned inwardly, he'd forgotten about that.

`Where is Mr Potter?'

All eyes turned to him as the Professor spoke his name. He stepped forwards towards her.

`Ah, there you are. Miss Evans is in the Entrance Hall already, if you would…'

James followed her gesture towards the door, and reluctantly moved towards it. He wanted to speak to Sirius urgently, but trying to explain this to McGonagall and a room full of people seemed slightly out of the question. The Head Boy sighed as he made his way out to the corridor, and walked in the direction towards the Entrance Hall.

***************************

Lily couldn't stop thinking about him. About the kiss. What was she thinking? She was dating Matthew…the boy that was holding her hand possessively at that moment now.

She had walked down the wide stairs, gripping the thick wooden banister, and dressed in the clothes that James had bought her. Looking forward, she saw Matthew standing with his friends by the side of the Hall, talking and laughing.

One of his Quidditch team mates, she vaguely recalled as being William Everly, caught sight of her and nudged the Chaser. Matthew looked around and his mouth fell open slightly, taking in the sight of her.

Embarrassment quickly crept up Lily's skin as she noticed a lot of people with there eyes on her. Some of the girls looked bitter, grasping their boyfriends tightly as she made her way down towards hers.

Matthew didn't know what to say when she stopped in front of him. His wide eyes gazed over The Dress, unbelieving that this was actually her.

`Erm…wow,' he mumbled dumbly, `you look…really pretty.'

Lily smiled and said a `thank you', but the compliment somehow didn't sound as nice as when James had said it. She didn't know what was wrong with her. Why was this happening, now of all times?

This is so twisted…I'm standing here with my boyfriend; dressed in the clothes of the guy I just kissed…how much more `soap opera' can this situation get?

Matthew held her hand tightly. His possession, she realised. However, she wasn't too bothered about it; it was something to keep her mind off the Head Boy…maybe.

`Miss Evans?'

Lily turned around quickly, and faced Professor McGonagall, `I am now going up to Gryffindor tower to alert the students that the ball will soon begin, you and Mr Potter will open it for the students as it is done every year. I will be down shortly.'

Lily froze as she said his name…she had completely forgot about the Heads opening it.

Damn…what the hell am I going to say to him…?

Nothing of course…just smile then get the hell out of there…

…god, did I mention the `soap opera' thing…

`Lil?' Matthew's voice brought her out of dream land, `are you okay?'

She nodded mutely, and he smiled and kissed her softly on the lips. James' memory flashed into her mind and she pulled away, mumbling something about make-up as an excuse. He seemed to buy it as he turned back to his friends leaving the Head Girl to stop and think about James again.

***************************

Walking down the long, wide staircase, he saw her standing there with him. The Ravenclaw kept stealing little glances at her and he knew how he must be feeling…it was like when he saw her walk out of her bedroom door.

Stunned…unbelieving…bliss…

…I'm going insane…

`Mr Potter?' McGonagall beckoned, bringing him out of his thoughts, `the Ball's going to start now…if you would locate Miss Evans, then you can open it together.'

James sighed and nodded towards her. He looked over to where she and Matthew were standing, and made his way towards them, plucking up the courage. What was he going to say?

Stopping behind the Head Girl, he tapped her softly on the shoulder, `Lil?'

Lily's stomach sank as she heard him say her name, but taking a deep breath she turned around, `Yes?'

`McGonagall wants us to open the Hall now.'

Matthew had turned around quickly as James had spoken, and he glared at the Gryffindor Seeker standing across from Lily. He watched in annoyance as she nodded slightly and turned back to him.

`I'll see you soon Matt okay?'

Matthew paused for a second as she looked at him, waiting for his answer. He glanced at James before looking back at her. He wanted to shout at her `No it's fucking not okay!' but, obviously, he didn't.

`Yeah…fine…' he kissed her in front of James a little longer than he normally would have; liking to know it made the Head Boy squirm just that little extra, and turned again back to his friends.

They stood awkwardly for a couple of seconds until Lily sighed in exasperation and made her way over to the Great Hall doors. The doors were decorated as well, James noticed before turning back to face everyone. A silence fell over the Entrance Hall, as the students all fixed their eyes onto the Head Boy and Girl. Lily glanced up at James as they paused, she knew they all were expecting her to open it by magic, but her wand was up in the Head Common Room.

`Do you have your wand?' she whispered at James.

He frowned slightly, `Yeah.'

`Get it out.'

Lily turned back to the students, `Erm…thanks everyone for waiting patiently for tonight…I really hope you all enjoy it. I'm glad most have come dressed in the way I asked and that's really pleasing to see...erm…don't think there's much more to say on the matter…so…'

She took James' wand out of his hand and pointed it at the Great Hall doors, `I now pronounce the Ball…open…Alohomora!'

Pushing the doors back, the Great Hall was finally open for everyone to see, and the students moved slowly through the doors, gazing wondrously at the sight of the Hall. James could see Lily beaming at the expressions of their faces, and after everyone had entered, James turned back to her.

`Wand?'

Lily smiled, a little embarrassed, `Yeah, sorry…I'm not usually that rude…I left mine in the Common Room.'

`That's ok,' he answered, his eyes flicking up to her face as she handed it back, `but…maybe a dance with the Head Girl…might make up for it…'

She paused, quickly masking the surprise of his enquiry, `Erm…sure, of course…later though yeah?'

James nodded silently, a smile playing over his lips. Lily turned around and walked up towards the group of Ravenclaw boys, James' eyes still on her as Matthew caught her and whispered something in her ear, making her smile.

Bastard.

`Prongs!' James heard someone shout, `Over here mate!'

He turned to see the rest of the Marauders standing by the side of the Hall, obviously trying to hide the substantial amount of alcohol from the Professors. Sirius was waving him over, the girl he had on his arm before, now talking avidly with some of her friends. The Head Boy walked over, grinning at his comrades (A/N: Hehe I love that word, it's so English…).

Sirius handed him a bottle of Firewhiskey, which he took a mouthful from discreetly. The group of girls noticed his arrival, and they turned around to the two Marauders.

`The Hall looks great James,' a girl, that James vaguely recalled as being Claire, said, `you must have put a lot of work in.'

`Oh, I didn't d…'

`He did put a lot of work in, didn't you mate?' Sirius said, cutting him off, `Day and night he planned this!'

`Wow…' the girls breathed in unison.

Claire looked up at him, tossing her chocolate hair over her shoulder and curving her lips into a smile, `Well…it certainly has paid off…'

Sirius grinned at James as he glared back at him, then mumbling `Erm…yeah thanks.'

Downing more of the strong alcohol that Sirius had given him, James looked over to Lily's direction. Unbeknownst to the Head Boy, Sirius followed his gaze, knowing exactly what had drawn his best friend's attention before actually seeing her. Sirius noticed that Remus had also followed where the two Marauders were looking, catching his attention and earning a smirk.

Oh, this is gonna be brilliant!

As if he read his mind, James turned back to face Sirius, and asked, `So…got any pranks lined up then?'

The corners of the boy's mouth curved up slightly, and he took a gulp of the fiery drink, `Just the one…'

But before James could question what this `prank' exactly was, Sirius' attention was caught by Amiya, across the Hall from them. Saying that he would be back in a minute; Sirius made his way over towards the black-haired Slytherin, his eyes roaming over the sleek black dress that clung to her. James was fairly familiar with her, they had spoken before and such, but what he failed to come to terms with, was Sirius' acknowledgement of her. Usually, due to the fact that a lot of his relatives were in that house, Sirius ignored most of them; not really wanting anyone to think of them in any proximity.

However, watching his best friend now, he seemed to highly enjoy the fact that the mysterious girl had called him over. James noticed that a lot of the students were taking heed of the large Hall floor and the gentle music that Lily had arranged. Thinking of her again, he looked back to where Matthew had her in a tight embrace, moving her gently with him. The Chaser's hands on the small of her back, sliding over the silky material of the dress he had bought her, making him bristle and seethe with unnatural anger.

James watched Lily move into him as he kissed her shoulder softly. It was a whisper of a kiss…so soft…so gentle…it made James want to stride over there and break every bone in his body.

His eyes shifted over to where Sirius was last, and was amazed to see the Marauder with his arms tight around the Slytherin girl, whispering things into her ear. The things, James guessed, were obviously rather sexual, as she was looking up at him every now and again, smirking. James couldn't deny that Amiya was attractive…in a raw, mystifying, Slytherin kind of way, but he couldn't understand Sirius' use for her.

Apart from sex obviously…

After a while, he watched them pull away from each other, Amiya giving Sirius a sharp nod before he walked away back towards where the rest of them were. Grinning at James momentarily, he walked over to his `date' and slid his hand up her back. The girl turned around, anger glinting in her eyes.

`You're unbelievable Black!' she hissed at him, `You really think I'd date you now, after you danced with her!'

Sirius looked at the girl for a second before coyly running a hand up her arm, `Of course Emm, `cause you know that I like you better than any Slytherin…right?'

James shook his head, laughing under his breath as Sirius manipulated the situation so easily and efficiently. There was no hope for that Emma-girl.

The Head Boy was brought back to earth hard as he heard a voice next to him, `James?'

Wishing and hoping that it was Lily, he turned around…disappointment coursing over his features before he had time to mask it. Amiya looked back at him and smiled.

`Expecting someone else?'

James shook his head and went to speak, `Wha…n…'

`A particular…Head Girl…maybe?' she cut him off, smirking.

`I…I don't know what you're talking about,' he said, cursing himself at how lame that was.

Amiya just smiled, `Of course you don't.'

James' eyes widened in surprise as she stepped forward, closer, his mouth doing an imitation of a goldfish as she took his hands in hers. All she did was smile craftily and pull him towards her.

`Dance with me?' she whispered.

James felt his mouth go dry, `I, erm…sure.'

For god sake James, where's your confidence…she's just a girl…if you can't do this with her, how the hell are you going to manage Lily?

`Nah, but this is different,' his mind spoke as Amiya ran her hands up his arms to pull them around her small waist, `this girl is dangerous, you know that.'

She's just a Slytherin…

`Yeah well, if she's just a Slytherin, why is she d…?'

Holy fuck…her hand's on my…

`Amiya…' James swallowed, `I don't think you should erm…'

She looked mock-innocent up at him, and he watched curiously as her slightly glossed lips curved into a smirk.

`Did Sirius put you up to this?'

Cocking her head slightly, she trailed her hand up his side, away from…earlier areas, `No.'

Amiya pressed herself against him more, moving her small hands up his arms. Resting one on his shoulder, she moved so she could willingly play her fingers along the opening of his shirt, her eyes flicking up to his occasionally.

`Why would you think that?'

James shrugged, `I don't know…was just a thought I guess.'

`Well, don't…' she said, looking up so her lips were near his, `don't think…don't guess…'

Again, James' mouth went dry, and he was vaguely aware of his fingers sliding over the smooth material on her back. He looked down into the black pools of her eyes. It was surreal, just barely able to see the pupils…James thought that he could imagine getting caught in there, unable to be free. And not in a good way. They danced with mischievous intent, which James knew was Slytherin through and through.

Guilt trickled through him as he felt her fingers slide into his hair. He glanced over at Lily; she was still in the firm embrace of Matthew, him clutching her tight as they danced. What was he doing?

`They look good together, don't they?'

James looked back to the girl in his arms, frowning slightly. She spoke again, `but I know that's not what you care about…you know that you and she would look better…'

`Amiya, it's not like th…'

`Sssh,' she stroked his neck softly, then continued, `you'd do anything for her…and you'd do anything to stop them…it burns, doesn't it James…you know it's wrong but you just-can't-stop-lusting after her…can you?'

Her black eyes searched his intensely, but he kept silent. Apparently, this was what she was expecting, and a small smirk played at the edge of her lips. The Slytherin moved her body against his, and she drew her hand up to cup his face. Flicking her eyes up to meet his, she paused.

`Don't worry James…things can change…'

Amiya pressed her lips against the soft curve of his throat, and then moved away. James, still speechless, watched her as she sauntered back towards most of the Slytherins were.

What the hell just happened?

*****************************

Lily sat on one of the chairs that had been carefully placed around the large hall. She surveyed everyone closely, watching their enjoyment and feeling glad. Taking a sip of the punch that had been placed on the Professors table, she saw Rachel walking towards her, beaming. The Gryffindor girl wore a beautiful magenta dress that tumbled to the floor, the tiny little straps barely holding it up Lily noticed with a small smile.

`Lil' you look amazing! You haven't shown me that dress before.'

Lily looked at her best friend as she sat down on the chair beside her, `Yeah I know, it was a gift.'

`Really?' she asked, her eyes lighting up, `Oh my god, was it a present from Matt?'

The Head Girl licked her lips in hesitation, `Erm…not exactly.'

Rachel frowned, `Who gave it to you?'

`…James…'

`Are you serious? Oh my god, that's a bit…unexpected…to say the least.'

Lily sighed, `I know, and I don't know what to do…there's something else…I-I kissed him.'

Rubbing her temple where a headache was starting to form, she looked at Rachel. Expecting to see a look of horror on her face, she was shocked to see the expression was…well, actually kind of blank. Sighing, Rachel took a breath as of though she was about to speak…but then let the breath out in another sigh.

`…say something.'

Looking at her awkwardly, Rachel asked, `Does Matt know?'

`Of course not…do you think he'd be dancing with me if he did?'

Rachel shrugged silently, and then looked at her best friend, `Does this mean you like James now?'

`No…maybe…I-I don't know.'

Lily closed her eyes in exasperation, then said quietly, `He asked me to dance…I said yes…was that the right thing to do?'

`Well…' Rachel began, `it sounds like he likes you too.'

`Oh I know that,' she said, brushing it off fast, and earning a shocked expression from the Gryffindor, `but was I right to accept?'

Rachel shrugged again, `Dunno, but what harm can it do right…it's one little dance…and if Matt gets annoyed just…I dunno, blame it on the punch - which I'm certain has been spiked by Sirius.'

Lily let out a small laugh, and looked over to wear the boy in question stood, with all his friends…including James. Following her gaze, Rachel looked back at her.

`It'll be okay Lil',' she said, patting her arm and getting up, `you'll be fine.'

The Head Girl nodded mutely, and looked down at her hands. Did she like James?

I don't think like is the question here…

`Well, it's definitely not the other!' her mind laughed.

Hmm, are you sure?

Lily looked back at the Head Boy, shock coursing through her as he caught her gaze and smiled slightly. Not knowing what else to do, she smiled back, the uncertainty she was sure being evident to him.

Her heart suddenly leapt into her throat as she saw him start towards her…she knew what was going to happen, and she could feel herself starting to fall.

-->

18. Settling of Scores

Cruel Summer

Lily sucked in her breath as James stopped in front of her. Thunder was pounding in her ears due to her uncertainty of the whole situation. She didn't know what to do or what he was expecting and she was sure the racing sound of her heart beating could be heard by him and everyone around them.

James looked at her closely as he stood in front of her. Her eyes were wide as a half-smile graced over his lips, and his warm gaze settled into those deep emerald pools of light. Enchanting her, yet engulfing her at the same time.

`So…can I take you up on that dance yet?'

His voice was soft but steady, and Lily found herself answering with a delicate smile and a nod. Lily waited for him to move and, although she knew it was coming, she shied away slightly as he gently took her hands, drawing them into his. James could sense her hesitation, but successfully managed to encourage her to place her hands on his shoulders.

Lily looked downwards as he caught her gaze, causing him to smile slightly. Why was she being shy? She didn't seem to be in the Common Room earlier…

Hmm, maybe she's ashamed of her forwardness…

`Lil?' he said, tilting her face up to face his, `it's okay.'

She closed her eyes for a second, taking a breath and looking back at him. A shiver ran through her cheek as she felt his fingers drift to caress it softly.

`Isn't this wrong?' her mind mumbled in the back of her head, `Aren't you meant to be with someone else…?'

I don't know…this feels so…

Lily's thoughts were dashed quickly as she felt his hand pressing against her back, forcing her closer to him. The sensation of being against him was unreal, and Lily didn't realise her eyes were closed until James gently asked her to open them. Faintly feeling the soft moisture of his breath against her forehead, she looked up at him, their eyes meeting again.

James was experiencing similar things as her body melted against his. This was what he wanted more than anything in the world…to have her here…with him…against him…

Well…there is something else you'd like to do…but don't rush it Potter…

Her lips were inches from his, all he would have to do would be to lean down slightly and everything would be perfect. But he knew that this was meant to be an innocent dance…something between friends…something insignificant.

But looking down at her, her head nearly nestled into the juncture of his neck, he knew that this was something more…something unspeakable. He craved what it was and he craved her.

The music swayed their senses, drowning their thoughts and Lily felt as though she would drift away if he wasn't there, holding her tightly. This was exactly what she wanted…dancing with him felt like she'd just opened up for the first time…it was like waking up and taking her first breath…it filled her completely and made her giddy with intoxication.

Drawing in a quick breath of surprise, James watched as she moved so that her head rested on his shoulder, her face turned so that her nose just grazed over the skin of his neck. It was oddly intimate…and James welcomed it greedily, squeezing her shoulders to him and resting his chin against her forehead and pressing a `friendly' kiss into the mass of red waves.

The action was innocent…wasn't it?

***************************

Amiya watched as the Head Boy and Girl danced together, ignorant of her…and what was planned. Their fate…it might have been thought. But Amiya didn't believe in fate…she believed that you made your own decisions, choices and paths in life. And where most people were perfectly capable of finding their own way and making their own mind…she decided, that sometimes some people needed a little nudge towards the right direction…or maybe a big nudge, depending on the circumstances.

Her deep black eyes surveyed the large Hall, resting on everyone and leaving no-one untouched by her shrewd gaze. Things were seemingly going well and according to plan, as he wished. Placing the light, crystal wineglass that she held onto a small ledge on the wall, she stepped away from the wall and walked slowly across the room.

If anyone had been watching her, the act may have looked bizarre or out of place. But it was assured that the movement of the Slytherin had deeper motives than one would have originally thought.

However, unbeknownst to her, a gaze did follow her…but instead of being confused, their thoughts were pleased that things were finally starting to begin.

Amiya, stopping on the other side of the room, turned around, feeling certain that someone was watching and cursing herself at her lack of stealth. But the gaze she met calmed her instantly as she acknowledged who it was. She saw a slight smirk float over Sirius' features and he raised an eyebrow as if to say `well…aren't you gonna get on with it?' The Slytherin narrowed her eyes and folded her arms gently, turning to where a small group of 7th Year boys were standing. Knowing that even though Sirius had looked away, he still had his eye on her actions, she searched the group for him and finding him immediately.

The boy was attractive, she had to agree…but even she could see through his artificial personality and forged charisma. His ulterior motives were transparent to her but she could easily understand how…for someone like Lily…they may not be.

A small smile tugged at the edge of her mouth as she made her way towards him, her gaze flicking back to the dancing couple quickly; making sure they were still occupied.

`Matthew Reede?'

The Chaser turned to her, as she spoke his name in a low, slightly husky voice. Smiling at her condescendingly Amiya was sure, because he knew exactly who she was…and not because of the opposite, which was what he wanted her to think.

Fine honey, milk this for all its worth…it's going to be much more amusing for me at the end…

`Amiya,' he drew out, handing the glass he was holding to someone else, `I wondered when I'd be seeing you…'

Her black eyes danced with amusement and a smile grew over her face, `Getting anxious?'

Matthew let out a short, condescending laugh, and moved towards her, sliding his hand through a lock of her dark tresses. The Slytherin just stood, and looked up at him, feeling slightly revolted by his fingers twining through her hair. The look on his face made her want to shudder. It was lewd and lustful and, uncharacteristically, made her flesh crawl. However, she couldn't give away this fact…it had to appear that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

Amiya gazed up at the Ravenclaw Chaser through her thick lashes, and moved further into him. Curling his fingers around the base of her neck, he tilted her face up to his. She bit her tongue as the distance between their skin decreased, and all that was left to do was to move in closer for their lips to touch.

It's okay…just imagine it's someone else or something…Sirius, for example…

Amiya was faintly aware of the group of Ravenclaws, unintentionally, hiding their actions from the Head Boy and Girl. However, her job wasn't to make Lily notice them…that was his. Matthew pulled away to trail small kisses down her throat, giving her a good view of the Marauder who was in on the endeavour. He nodded at her faintly, giving her approval of the actions she was taking. Amiya closed her eyes as she felt his tongue slide smoothly against her collarbone, and released a low moan for effect.

Sirius owes me big this time!

The Marauder in question watched as the girl slid her small hand up the Chaser's arm and into his dark hair. He was pleased that they weren't in view of the Head Girl at that point in time, because otherwise the situation would look stupid. A guy making out with someone in front of his girlfriend…nah, that didn't happen. He was also aware that Matthew knew exactly what he was doing and also that Lily was oblivious to his little escapade. Sirius laughed quietly to himself. Sure, he was being a bit of a bastard…but it would work of best in the end, right? Lily and James will fall in love and be happy ever after, right?

He looked over at the two of them, watching as they danced…completely made for each other…and yet, completely oblivious to the fact. Were they stupid? Probably. Were they in love? Definitely.

Am I the only human being here that knows that?

But looking at the two of them now, he realised that they may have just caught onto the fact.

Thank god! At least that makes my job easier…

Taking a slip of the alcohol he had, he watched his best friend absently stroking the Head Girl's back. His fingers moved gently over the back of her dress.

`Stupid bloody idiots,' Sirius muttered to himself.

Turning back to where the group he was with sat, he watched in slight amusement as Remus engaged a pretty Gryffindor girl in conversation. He was doing it quite well, Sirius had thought, much better to what Wormtail would have done.

Where was the little git anyway?

But the small Marauder and his date for the evening were no where in sight, causing Sirius to mutter in astonishment, `Christ! He can get laid, while the rest of us have to work for it…? Something bloody wrong there!'

After pausing to contemplate the ways of tormenting Peter about it, Amiya subtly caught Sirius' gaze as her and the Ravenclaw Chaser backed slowly out of the Great Hall door, managing to catch no-ones attention in the process.

Sirius knew where the girl was leading him. It was by his strict instructions, and he knew that the Slytherin would follow them efficiently. The Marauder smirked slightly as all of his plans were fitting nicely into place.

Everything's going the way I want…it's only time for the games to begin…

****************************

His scent was taking her away…drifting slowly away from the Great Hall into a land where nothing existed but him…and her…together. Faintly in the recesses of her mind she knew what was going on was, in some way…inappropriate. But then, what she was doing was vaguely unknown to her.

It's never felt like this…

Her breath caught in her throat when she felt him squeeze her gently again, as though he didn't want to let her go back to the world, where things were different and reverse for them.

Lily could, at that point in time, imagine herself saying the words what he wanted her to say. The words, which were the only prevention of falling away from everything that she'd ever known before. The absence of it was making her drowsy and the need was taking over…but yet, she couldn't…there was still something binding her back to reality. And that binding, as she thought, she knew that it was unfortunate.

James felt so good against her. Too good, she might have thought if her mind wasn't hazy from the situation. His firmness complimenting her softness, and mixing together until they didn't know where one ended and the other began. It was electric…and fiery…and yet, there was a serenity, which neither of them could thoroughly understand.

I want to kiss him…god, I really wish I could…

`Well, why don't you then, if you really want to?'

It's not that simple…I wish it was…

`You could make it simple…you could just do it…I'm sure he wouldn't mind.'

It's not that…

`What is it then…? A certain boyfriend getting in the way now…? Hmm…?'

…

`It's so darn annoying having two guys wanting you, isn't it Lily? So difficult to choose…'

It's not like that…I-I don't know what I want…

`Of course you don't…because Miss Head Girl has everything; it's bound to be hard to really know what you want.'

You don't understand…no-one understands!

`Probably because we don't live in cloud-cuckoo land Lily…you're such a poor little girl.'

Shut up! I'm not!

`Huh, of course not…'

James felt the girl in his arms grip the top of his shoulders hard, and he looked down at her. She had her face pressed against his neck, he could feel the small exhalation of air when she breathed and it made his heart pound a bit faster with that small fact that it was her, and not some imaginative fantasy he'd dreamed up.

The most silent of whimpers drifted over her lips as the different opinions made themselves heard in her head. The grip on her waist tightened slightly, relieving her…knowing that he was there, holding her. She always wanted him to hold her.

I always want him…

`And why's that Lil'?'

Huh?

`Come on Lily, you can admit it now! Why do you always want him?'

…I don't know what you mean…

`Don't play around. You're smart; you know exactly what I mean…you just don't want to say it.'

…I want him…I just do…there's no reason wh…

`Oh for God sake, just say it!'

…there's nothing to say!

`Go on, look at him…he feels it too…you're not alone…it's right there in his eyes…you can see it, plain as day…'

Lily pulled back slightly away from the Head Boy, but James held her firm in his grip. She looked up at him…into his face like she was told. He looked back at her, her deep verdant pools taking him in…searching within him…it was there, she knew but it was yet to emerge. Disappointment crept up her skin, as she looked at him and James saw it reflect back at him.

`It's there Lily…look harder…it will show…he feels it, the same as you…the same need and intensity…all you have to do is to find it.'

He brought his hand up to her face, and he studied her closely. There wasn't anyone that could compare to her…nothing would ever come close. If only he could just lean in…

God, I love you so much…

There it was…reflecting back at her. She saw it just from his gaze. He loved her.

I love him too…

Then, somehow the acknowledgement of her feelings, brought her slap-bang back to reality. She felt like she'd just been floating then suddenly hit the ground with an almighty force, forcing all the air out of her lungs and leaving her mind gasping. James saw the mass of mixed feelings fleeting across her features and frowned.

`What's wrong?'

The Head Girl twisted away from his grip, stepping back and glanced at him quickly. She didn't know what to make of this. All she wanted was to be back in his arms and for him to protect her, but that faint noise in the back of her head, earlier telling her that this was wrong, was turning into a loud buzzing noise that she couldn't shut off.

`This is wrong!' she choked out, finally answering his question, `I can't just…do this…'

By this time James could sense other students' eyes on them, `Lil…look, we're just dancing okay…nothing else…'

`Oh yeah right!' she spat, vaguely feeling her eyes stinging with unshed tears, `Oh, like you didn't feel it too!'

James stepped forward, intentionally to stop her shouting, but she pulled away from him again.

`Lily, come on, this…isn't really the place to be having this conversation.'

The conversation, however, being one-sided…

This, apparently, was not the right thing to say as she stood and looked at him, the disappointment now evident completely.

`I don't care James,' she said in a slightly tired way, `but maybe that's what is important for you…'

James watched her, his mind in turmoil as she turned around and walked away, heading for the Great Hall door. The Head Boy seriously felt like punching something, just for the sheer hell of it.

For fuck sake, someone must really hate me! Why do I keep loosing her…?

Eyes were still on him as he turned around to where his best friends were earlier sitting. It annoyed him even more when he realised that Padfoot was somewhat absent.

Where the hell was he now?

******************************

I'm not going to cry…I'm not…

Lily moved towards the Great Hall door and pushed it open, sliding through the opening quickly. She felt a strong force wanting to push against her, telling her to go back. But her pride and dignity kept her away from him.

God…tonight was meant to be great…now look what's happened…

Stepping away from the door, she moved towards the stairs and sat down on the 2nd step, pulling the dress up slightly so her knees were tucked under her. The Head Girl rested her arms on her brought-up knees and buried her face into them. She could vaguely smell the scent of the bath water on her skin that she had used earlier.

Huh, when I had that bath I didn't even know about this Dress…it's strange how things work out…

Sitting up a little, Lily ran her hand across the curls in her hair, thinking how it didn't really matter how she looked anyway now. She looked down at her hands, absently playing with the silver ring on her right hand, and then roaming up to touch the earrings and necklace that James had brought her. Lily dropped her gaze back to her hands, smoothing The Dress from nonexistent creases.

I'm so selfish…how could I talk to him like that…after all he's done for me…he loves me and I just threw it back in his face…I'm such an idiot…

She felt tears pinprick her eyes again, and brought her hand up to her face, rubbing the top of her nose with irritation.

`Everything's so fucked up,' she thought out loud.

`Never thought there'd come a time when the Head Girl swears.'

Lily snapped her head up to the voice. Her eyes narrowing as she saw Sirius leaning up against the wall, watching her intently.

`How long have you been standing there?' she asked, in annoyance.

`Long enough,' he said simply, stepping away from the wall and moving towards her.

She sat up defiantly, `And what's that meant to mean?'

`Nothing,' Sirius said, grinning and causing her to frown.

The Marauder decided to bide his time for the moment, watching in amusement as she tried to figure him out. He allowed his eyes to roam over her body; he wasn't surprised at his best friends' feelings for her. She indeed was beautiful, and the memory of him and her in her muggle kitchen flew into his mind, making him grin wider.

Lily glared at him, `What are you grinning at?'

`You,' he said softly, `I faintly recall the time me and you nearly…you-know…wonder how that would've turned out…'

`So unfortunate that it didn't,' she answered sarcastically, getting to her feet.

`Is kinda, isn't it,' he smiled, deliberately ignoring the sarcasm and earning an exasperated roll of the eyes from the Head Girl.

Sirius stepped towards her, making her take a step back, `It's funny that you didn't realise that Prongs wanted you then…stupid really…if you think about it. I mean, well, if you remember the look on his face when he caught us…bit of a give away…don't you think?'

`I don't know,' she snapped, `I was too busy regretting the mistake I nearly made…didn't have time for much else.'

Sirius smiled genuinely at her fieriness, and laughed gently. She was still glaring that frosty glare she always possessed, and he bit back the urge to tease her even more.

After a pause, he spoke gently, `You know, you two look good together.'

`Excuse me?'

`You…James…dancing…you look good, like meant to be.'

`Right Sirius…' she said, stepping around him, `I think you've had too much Firewhiskey.'

The Marauder caught her arm quickly, making her stop, `I'm not drunk…why's this so hard for you to believe? You know yourself that it's true.'

`Oh, do I?' she answered harshly, pulling her arm out of his grasp and folding them across her chest.

`Yeah, I mean we all think it…better than that Ravenclaw twat.'

Lily bristled in front of him, `Oh you do, do you? You all think that? Well, you know what…I don't care what you or anyone else thinks, Sirius Black!'

`Wait Evans,' he said in exasperation as she turned to stalk away, `I didn't mean to offend.'

This little statement that popped from his mouth halted her instantly, and she couldn't believe that he'd actually apologised. Lily turned back to face him.

`You really need to get over yourself Lils - wait hear me out - you gotta get over yourself and realise exactly what is right in front of you…I know you know that James loves you…you really have to figure out that in your head though…the point of the whole thing…you know?'

Lily stood in front of Sirius for a moment in silence and then she spoke, `Why are you doing this?'

`I don't know,' he shrugged, `but you've really got to think about who stays…and who goes…you know what I mean?'

The Head Girl nodded, she thought that she did…the two of them.

James or Matt…Matt or James…

Lily's thoughts were dashed as Sirius laid a hand on her arm, looking at her…a mixture of sincerity and thoughtfulness.

`I need you to know though Lily, that Reede isn't all what you think he is.'

Lily glowered at him, pulling away until he grabbed her again, making her reside in front of him, `Hear me out would you?'

He continued as she took a deep breath and looked at him, `He's not Lily…whatever he's said to you has only been for the want of one thing…'

`And you can talk…'

`And which is not,' Sirius talked loudly to drown her out, `the reason you two should be…dating or whatever.'

`You bastard!' she snapped at him, `You don't even know him, and y-you're even worse than him! You're such a hypocrite!'

Sirius folded his arms and glared venomously at her. Yeah, she was beautiful, yeah, he could understand why James loved her…but God was she a right bitch when she wanted to be! He could practically see the steam rising from her nostrils as she verbally tore into him.

Shut her up soon Sirius, before you punch her…

Of course this was only his thoughts, but still…

`You know…I was gonna be really nice about this Lily…be really sympathetic and stuff…like a gentleman…but now you've really pissed me off!'

Lily frowned, `What are you going on about now?'

`Maybe you should be hurt Evans! Teach you to not be on your high horse all the time…Little Miss Perfect…perfect grades…perfectly beautiful…it makes me sick! This will teach you Evans…and then you will wish someone sympathetic were there, picking up all the pieces for you.'

The Marauder knew he was biting back…biting back hard…but he knew that maybe this would help her…you know, pulling off a plaster - quick and painless.

`Sirius, if you don't tell me what is going on right now…'

`Wanna know where your precious Chaser is right now?' he snapped, narrowing his eyes.

This shut Lily up quickly, a frown creeping over her face as she looked at the boy standing in front of her. Did she want him to continue? What would he say? Did she want to hear it? Probably not…but she had to know…

`Where…?'

The question floated up to his ears as he looked at her, her voice so soft with hesitation, making him want to reconsider telling her. Quickly, wanting to get it over with, he nodded across the Entrance Hall where a few of the Classrooms that Dumbledore and the professors didn't use any more were. Lily frowned as she followed his gesture.

Uncertainty coursed through her, but she didn't want Sirius to see it flowing freely through her veins. Pausing to glance back at the Marauder quickly, she turned and walked with her dignity pushed to the surface, over to the Classroom Sirius had motioned towards.

I'm sorry Lily…but this is for the best…I want you and James to be happy and this is the only way…Remus was right, this is going to be torture for her…please let her get over it…it's shitty enough that I have to do this…

The Head Girl stopped in front of the thick wooden door, not really wanting to know what was beyond…but still having to know otherwise. Yes, she was scared…it was obviously something bad with the way that he had said it…it was something about Matt…

She turned and looked back at the Marauder, he was standing there watching, biting a fingernail in anxiety. Lily turned back quickly and reached for the doorknob. It was cool and hard around her hand as she grasped it firmly, and it gave easily under the careful twist of her wrist. The door was noiseless as she slowly pushed the wood with her other hand, the gap of light in the side growing larger as she pushed.

`And behind door number three…?' she mumbled nearly silently.

Sirius watched the door slide back, even though the Head Girl froze on the spot. He was sure that the look on her face was pure horror/dear-caught-in-headlights at that point in time.

Lily gripped the frame of the door hard, her nails digging into the hard oak. The scene in front of her made her want to be sick and she couldn't find the thoughts to think let alone words to scream.

Matthew Reede…current boyfriend…in front of her…on top of…inside of…that Slytherin slut…fucking her…I'm going to be sick…

But her boyfriends' groans brought her head first into reality.

`Oh god…Ami', yes…that's it…'

Lily watched in disgust as Matt thrusted, what looked deeply, inside the Slytherin girl. She could feel the bile rising in her throat, but she bit it back by sheer determination.

`You…' she growled.

Matt snapped his face around to meet his girlfriends' expression of revulsion and hatred. The Ravenclaw froze in mid-thrust as she fumed with pure, red anger.

`Lil!'

`You…you make me sick!' she shrieked as she turned from the room quickly.

Matt, not thoroughly acknowledging what had happened turned back to the object of his current desire, and with the anger of being discovered back-handed Amiya hard around the face.

`You little bitch!' he spat, `This is your fucking fault!'

The Slytherin held her cheek with one hand as he roughly pulled away from her, pulling up his trousers and fastening them as he ran after his girlfriend.

`Lily! Lily, stop!'

The Head Girl froze as he shouted her name, turning slowly around to face the Quidditch Chaser; her eyes alight with white, hot anger. Matthew stopped a few feet in front of her, he knew she was incredibly infuriated and knew to approach with great caution.

`What?' she bit out, `What in FUCK can YOU want?'

Matthew drew away slightly from the colourful outburst and knew in the back of his mind that she so wasn't done yet, and it was about to get even more vibrant.

`Baby…I-I didn't mean for this to happen…it just did…'

`Don't give me that bullshit, you fucking bastard! You knew EXACTLY what you were doing!'

Matthew quickly denied it, `No, I didn't, i-it was her…'

`God, you're such a coward, you can't even admit it! You fucked her didn't you…I think that kinda evolves your CO-OPERATION!'

`Lily, it's not like that!'

`Oh, no? It's not, is it? What happened then? If you're SO innocent?!'

By this time, Matthew realised that the Great Hall door had opened due to all the shouting and everyone was watching avidly the argument between the Head Girl and the Ravenclaw Chaser.

`Lily, can we talk about this somewhere else?' he asked, nodding towards the large amount of people.

`No we FUCKING can't, you BASTARD!' she screamed, making him flinch, `You're innocent! So you have NOTHING to be ashamed of! Not like me, who has EVERYTHING to be ashamed of, for dating a CUNT LIKE YOU!!!'

`Lily…'

`Shut up, I don't want to hear your stupid excuses!' Lily growled menacingly.

`Please, come on baby, let's not argue about this.'

Matthew moved forward and touched her arm, sending her further into the abyss of fury.

`Don't you DARE touch me! You have SEX with someone else, and you think you can touch me?! Reede, you are coming nowhere NEAR me AGAIN…EVER!!!'

Matthew heard the hall of people behind her gasp, and talk amongst themselves as she told the whole school of his felony.

`What do you want me to say, Lily?' Matthew shouted back at her, `I can say `sorry' as many times as you want, and it's still not going to change anything!'

`Well you haven't even said THAT, have you?!'

`Well…I'm sorry!'

Lily laughed sarcastically, `I didn't say that it would work!'

`For Christ sake Lily!' he shouted, `What do you want me to do?'

Lily sighed in exhaustion, `Nothing…there's nothing you can do…just leave me alone.'

As she turned to walk away, Matthew grabbed her arm hard and pulled her back to him, `You're not just going to walk away from this!'

Anger resurfaced as quickly as lightening in the emerald orbs of her eyes as she felt the grip on her arm tighten, and then a red haze settled over her minds eye. Lily, feeling the unwanted pressure of his hand on her, turned around fast, pulled back her fist and punched him hard around the face.

The whole Hall seemed to go silent as they watched in morbid curiosity as their Head Girl laid her boyfriend out on the shiny, wooden floor. He wasn't unconscious but he went down nonetheless. Lily glared at him as he touched his jaw, blood sliding down his chin from his lip.

`You…' she spat, `and I are SO OVER!'

Glaring at him for a couple more seconds, James watched as she turned fast on her heel and ran up the wide staircase towards their Common Room, dress pulled slightly up and her hair bouncing behind her. James wanted to walk over to where he sat on the floor, and give him his own version of what Lily did, but he thought that she, the girl he was in love with, stole the show completely.

He waited for a second before sliding out of the crowd and up the stairs, quickly, to find her.

Sirius watched his best friend move unnoticed up the stairs as Amiya walked over to where they said they would meet. Sirius, seeing her approach him, brought her into the darkness of the dungeon corridor and slid his hand into her hair, examining the large bruise that was forming from Matthews administrations.

He brought her against him, and spoke softly, `Well done.'

Amiya closed her eyes at his touch and the softness of his voice, lulling her into a sleep she needed, `Mission complete, right?'

They both grinned.

-->

19. Curtain of Dreams

Cruel Summer

James walked cautiously through the Portrait door as it swung open for him, and he stepped inside the large Common Room. Truthfully, he didn't really know what to expect; he'd never really been around a girl when something like this had happened, and he didn't really know much about the whole comforting thing. But he knew he had to at least try; he didn't want Lily to be upset over a stupid idiot like that, and she had every right to do what she did. Anger had bubbled through him at the thought of what Matt had done to her, but he had to quash those thoughts for the time being and worry, now, about the girl he loved.

Genuinely expecting her to be in her room, door locked and telling him to `sod off' when he called her, he was surprised to find her sitting on the sofa in front of the fire. She had slipped her shoes off, tucked her legs under herself and rested her head on a large cushion on the back of the large settee. She looked so vulnerable; all curled up and gazing into the flames that licked their way up the large chimney.

James just watched her silently for a few minutes, noticing the shallow rise and fall of her chest, and he knew, that if he tilted her face up to meet his now, he would see the silent tears making their way down her soft cheeks.

`Lily?' he said softly, and he watched her shift slightly against the cushions.

`J-just leave me alone for a bit, please James.'

He noticed that her voice was slightly husky from either the shouting or the crying, and James was sure that it was the latter.

`Please don't push me away Lil',' he pleaded gently, he didn't know what he would do if she didn't want to be around him either…he didn't want to think about it.

Hearing a small sob escape her throat, he moved quietly to the sofa. The subtle light of the fire cast over her skin, he noticed, making it glow slightly and causing the moisture on her cheeks to sparkle softly under it. Not really knowing otherwise what to do, he slowly lowered himself onto the cushions next to her.

What am I going to do now? Sit here like an idiot?

`No…do something!' his mind answered.

Oh? Like what?

`I don't know…anything that will make her feel better, I guess.'

Ugh…thanks for the `help'…

He moved closer to her, feeling her tense up slightly as she sensed his movement. He didn't want to hurt her, he wanted to comfort her…somehow…and yet, he didn't really know if he was doing something wrong or not.

James reached his right hand out and took hold of hers, which lay carelessly on top of the cushion. Not hearing her protestations, he turned it over and stroked small circles into her palm.

Lily's breath caught slightly as she felt him clutch her hand and rub the palm; it was oddly soothing and she felt her eyelids close briefly at the contact. Again she sensed his movement and fought the urge to jump quickly when she realised his other hand was playing gently with the curls by the side of her face. The Head Girl couldn't resist looking up at him; her wet, emerald eyes searching his for a second as he slid his fingers deeper into the locks of auburn hair.

`Please don't cry over him,' he asked, his voice sounding suddenly an octave lower than usual, `he's not worth it.'

Lily's eyes flickered back to the embroidery on the red cushion, and she nodded her head, sniffing quietly.

`I know.'

James felt like he could run his fingers through her hair forever; clutching the thick locks and twining it in his hands. The curls luscious and soft against his skin, as he kissed her maybe…

Shut up now! She needs you! Stop thinking with your dick!

Lily looked up into his face again and smiled weakly, `…sorry for being stupid…'

`You're not being stupid…you're just upset at the mome…'

`No,' she stopped him, and continued quietly, `for not believing you at the beginning…I-I thought you and Sirius were just doing it to annoy me…or that maybe you were jealous…but I was being stupid, I was blinkered into thinking that he was right for me and…I'm sorry.'

James smiled gently, caressing the side of her face and answered, `Lil…you're not stupid, you never have been…Reede was a mistake, you deal and move on…you know?'

Lily studied the boy in front of her. He was so gorgeous…too gorgeous really; his messy black hair fell in front of his deep cerulean eyes and it was all she could do but not gasp as she felt the intensity of them on her. Her gaze flicked down to his lips and she tore her eyes away from his face, and pulled his hand out of her hair, which had moved to the nape of her neck at that point.

James frowned at the change across her face and pulled away from her slightly, `Lily, what's the ma…'

`What's the matter?' she asked him incredulously - and in a slight hysterical tone, he noticed, `The matter is that I just broke up with my boyfriend about…hmm, 10 minutes ago and now I'm feeling totally caught up on you…and I don't think I can take all of this…I think I'm going insane…'

The Head Boy missed the rest of the statement after the `totally caught up on you' part, and had to mentally shake himself to let his brain take in the rest. He glanced at Lily, who, he then realised, had stood up while he had his little `motionless episode'.

Standing back up fast, James realised that the tears were freely spilling down her cheeks now, and from her little declaration, he was a bit disorientated to really know what to do then.

`Please James,' she pleaded to him, bringing him back quickly to the situation in hand, `just…just leave me alone okay?'

Seeing her turn around to walk to her room, he grasped her arm firmly, making her stop fast. Her arm felt delicate under his grip, he noted subconsciously as he pulled her back to face him.

`I asked you not to push me away Lil',' he said calmly, sliding his hands tenderly up her bare skin to her shoulders, `please don't…I need you to know that…I'm not like him…please don't think that I am…'

Lily looked up at him, her eyes wide in a startled expression. She grasped his hand, which had roamed to the silky skin at her neck, and squeezed it subconsciously, more tears spilling down her cheeks.

`I don't, James,' she whispered, her hand running down and gripping his forearm, `I could never…you're too different to him to even consider it…with you…it's just so…'

Lily stopped to close her eyes at her thoughts and let a small sigh escape her lips. The Head Boy was faintly aware of the girl in his arms moving closer towards him, he could feel her warmth radiating through the dress he had bought her, and wanted desperately to press it against him. His eyes searched her face as she opened her eyes to him, and his gaze darted down to her slightly parted lips. James could feel her chest rising and falling; just brushing his, and he slipped his hand down to her waist.

Lily shivered from his hand, as it slid slowly from her neck, down her front and to her waist, creating a tingling feeling wherever his fingers brushed. She leant into the caress, letting another little sigh escape, and the thought of him actually doing this was making her mind reel with incoherent emotions. The intensity of the small touch was unbelievable, it was as if the sensitivity of her skin had increased, making her aware of the slightest thing he did…even through the fabric of The Dress.

`I'm sorry about what he did Lily,' James whispered, involuntarily moving into her, `but he will end up regretting it.'

Lily took in his statement and couldn't help thinking that James was going to do something to the Ravenclaw Chaser…which she wasn't entirely ungrateful for, but she didn't like the thought of something happening to James that was attributable to her.

Time iced over for them as the Head Boy felt her small hand slip up his arm softly, over his shoulder and neck, to graze her fingers gently across his cheek. Her eyes were hazy and gentle, yet he felt a fresh, stimulating intensity in those endless emeralds.

He wanted to tell her he loved her…wanted to say that he wanted her and couldn't stand not having her next to him…near him…pressed against and surrounding him…he wanted to tell her everything, but his mouth seemed to suddenly go dry as she smiled at him. That little half-smile that seemed more dazzling every time she made it, and he just wanted to press his lips against it and never let her go.

God James, you're being such a slushy twat…you're soon gonna start writing a sonnet and declaring how sunsets make you cry!

James looked back at the girl in his arms, and knew that he didn't care how he was being as long as she was there. She was there with him…just him…and he knew, as they both stated to close the gap between their faces, he would never let her go.

Never.

*****************************

`Are you sure you're okay?'

Amiya glared at the Marauder as they walked down the long hall, very much annoyed now due to his constant pestering of her welfare. After the Entrance Hall started to empty of the students that were watching the little Matt/Lily/Amiya charade, Sirius had insisted on escorting her back to the Slytherin Dungeons. She felt perfectly fine apart from a little stinging in her right cheek, which the Marauder was adamant that it needed his special attention.

`I'm fine Sirius,' she answered him firmly, `I half-expected him to do something like this.'

He frowned, then - equally as firm - added, `I still need to make sure you're ok.'

The Slytherin rolled her eyes and smiled at him. Even though the topic for her mission he had set her was a little dodgy, he was still being quite sweet.

I've never seen him like this really…maybe he feels guilty…doubtful, very doubtful…

She snuck a glance at him, from out of a curtain of dusky eyelashes, `Are you okay?'

He snapped his attention to her question, and grinned impishly, `Course!'

Sirius took her slight wrist in his hand, lifting it to his lips and kissing the delicate skin tenderly, his black eyes dancing with mischief. Amiya laughed genially and pulled her hand away from his mouth, causing him to protest half-heartedly.

`Sirius Black, if y…'

But she was quickly cut off as the wayward Marauder grabbed her confidently, twisting her around him and pushing her firmly against the cold dungeon wall, her wrists pinned securely above her head.

What the…

`You weren't co-operating,' he grinned, pressing her body against the wall with his, `so I decided to use force…'

Amiya raised a thin black eyebrow, and tried to squirm free, but he smirked again at her useless attempts; holding her stead-fast. She looked up at him hard; her ebony eyes glittering like chipped gems, but the look just made Sirius' smile wider, and he leant down, pressing his forehead against hers.

`I'm sorry for making you do that,' he said softly after a pause, `it wasn't fair me asking it of you.'

He felt the frown of her face on his, and he knew that she was wondering why the hell he had said that. Her gaze dropped from his and she looked downwards, shrugging her shoulders the best way she could with her arms pinned.

Sirius felt the short breath against his lips as he moved to hold both of her wrists in one hand, then moving the other down her silky hair to stroke the soft, milky skin of her face. He could touch her skin forever, he decided, it was so smooth beneath his fingertips, and he knew it tasted sweet and fresh. His eyes slid slowly to meet hers again, and then glanced at her lips…moving swiftly in to capture them.

The feeling of his lips on hers was always amazing; every time it happened it would shock her and hit her off guard, causing her mind to clench then untangle in a flurry of different sensations. Every time it was different…every time it was incredible.

Needing for it to deepen, Sirius parted his lips and traced her bottom lip with his tongue. Eagerly, the Slytherin parted her own lips slightly, allowing the Marauder to slip further…tasting her further.

Amiya let a soft breathy moan escape her throat as his tongue touched hers, playfully teasing then deepening when she was not expecting it. The heady emotions started to build again as he swallowed little whimpers that she made, trying to urge him on. Releasing her wrists slowly, Sirius slid a hand down her arm, and then back up entwining his fingers into hers, she gripped his shoulder with her free hand, pushing it up to his neck and pressing his lips harder against hers.

Finesse was swept swiftly away as the raw need took over, turning the kiss into a ravage act of teeth and tongue and hands moving everywhere…sliding over their bodies and letting sharper gasps of breath to escape.

`Please Amiya…' Sirius managed to choke out as she trailed hot, hard kisses across his jaw and down his neck, `God…I need this…'

Sirius could feel his arousal pushing selfishly against the unyielding material of his trousers, he wanted desperately to press it against her and let the ache diminish. But with her taut body moving against him like it was doing now, it was getting harder to control those desires that flared inside him - mainly in the groin area. He could feel her hand sliding and his conscious slipping as she pulled his shirt open with her free hand.

Vaguely aware of where they were as her kisses fluttered over his chest, Sirius pushed his hand deep into her thick black locks and pulled her head back harshly, tearing her swollen lips away from his skin and holding her there as they panted, trying to re-gather their breath.

`Not here,' the Marauder managed to rasp out as Amiya watched him hotly through her lashes, eyes flaming.

He felt the longing of tearing the elegant, black dress from her lithe body, the sheer material shredding under his fingers like a delicate spiders-web, defenceless and fragile to his merciless ardour. He found himself pulling her towards where he knew the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room was, and assuring that Amiya said the password quickly so that they could enter and finish exactly what they had started.

The entrance door to the Common Room closed behind them and Amiya pulled the Marauder towards the 7th Year girl dormitories avoiding the knowing stares of some of Slytherin House, who were still up at that hour. The black haired girl pushed the heavy oak door open to reveal the large, empty dormitory and they stepped slowly inside. Sirius paused as Amiya took a couple of steps then turned back to face him, about two metres distance between them. Their eyes met again and a mischievous little grin slid over the Slytherins features as she stepped forward slightly.

`So…? What d…'

But she was cut off as Sirius moved towards her, a frown over his face. He lifted his hand up to her and turned her face to the left so he could examine the bruise that was now forming avidly on her ivory skin. Her breath hitched in her throat as he slowly leant forward and softly pressed a kiss against it, and she could feel his fingers somewhere in the hair at the base of her neck, making her shiver deliciously.

Amiya turned her face back to meet his and she looked up at him, somewhat shyly, through her lashes.

`Where's your wand?' the Marauder asked quietly.

The Slytherin stayed silent as she walked over to what was presumably her bed, and picked up the thin black wand, which lay on her bedside table in a pretty velvet box. Sirius walked closer as she held it out to him, and took it courteously from her outstretched hand. Amiya watched the Marauder as he turned it over in his fingers, and glancing back up to the Slytherin girl.

`What do you need it for?'

Sirius looked back at her, a pause following her question, until he answered a few moments later, `For you.'

Frowning, she asked, `For me? Why?'

Silence followed after, and the Marauder stepped in front of her, brushing her hair away from her face to reveal the bruise that was slowly becoming more visible. Amiya didn't exactly know what to do…she wasn't really used to Sirius Black being unusually quiet, and it made her feel slightly uneasy not to know what he was really thinking. It came as a further shock when he raised the wand sharply to her face, causing a gasp to escape her throat.

`Restorautus.'

Not realising that she'd clamped her eyes shut, they flew open from the tingling warmth that spread over her cheek. Sirius looked at her as she looked at him, and their gazes met and held for a few moments.

Lifting her hand up to touch her cheek, she asked, `What did you do…?'

`Just a spell,' he said softly, `the bruise is gone now.'

Before Amiya had time to think let alone thank him, he moved into her and, with his thumb, caressed the place where the bruise had been, then gently lowering a kiss to that same spot. The Marauder shifted slightly and brought his lips just at the corner of her mouth, softly coaxing a response from her. She reacted just about immediately and raised her face up to meet his. Black met black for a split-second before they closed their eyes, and wrapped their arms around each other; fingers sliding on their own accord. Sipping her hands up to the nape of his neck, she pulled him down to her more and backed onto her bed. She felt him move down with her and kneel over her thighs, their lips still locked in a ferocious kiss.

The need for breath developed, making them pull away from each other and suck in oxygen in small pants. Looking up at the Marauder, who was gazing down at her, his hair falling forward and just brushing the skin of her shoulders, Amiya edged backwards from under him, towards the pillows and rested her head on their softness as she met his stare again.

Sirius watched as she moved away from him, pressing her head into the downy pillows. He was amazed by her; her long, silky hair splayed against the smooth sheets; her eyes heavy and intense as she watched him intently.

`Amiya…' he whispered as he moved towards her, sliding a knee between hers, and then pressing his body against her.

The contact between their bodies was incredible, and Sirius could feel his restraint definitely slipping this time. She felt too good underneath him and pressed against him…but he needed more of it…he needed more of her…

The Marauder pressed another fierce kiss against her lips, pressing her deeper into the mattress. He could hear the soft moans and whimpers that rolled from her throat, and as she gasped his name when his hand traced down her body, his mind gave way to reason and left a void of rational thought.

Everything was not how he had expected it to turn out. But Sirius thought, as he started to pull the soft, black fabric away from her body, that nothing really ever is.

**************************

Time had fallen away.

It was just an abyss of nothingness…except for him…and for her…there together.

…together...this is surely a dream right…?

Her lips were soft and pliant as he manipulated them…her taste exquisite and fresh…and her small, delicate hands demanding as she gripped his shoulders tightly.

…a very cruel dream…

James had twined his fingers into the deep red locks at the nape of her neck and was slowly kissing her…soft yet passionate…everyway he'd wanted to kiss her in the past few months, he did, and it was one of the best things he had ever felt in his life.

This is it…this is how it should be…how it always should be…I should always be kissing her…

His skin was on fire with the need to have her, not just in the physical sense - even though he did like the sound of that - but in a way that she was his, and nothing no matter what could come between them. The Head Boy didn't know what to do; he wanted to kiss her and touch her, but he also just wanted to hold her, making sure that she was there. He felt choked with the emotions he felt…everything at once, yet all different and coming from different directions. It was as if he was standing in the middle of a firework display and they were all aimed at him.

But Lily was here…she was…she was there with him and there was no one else at all that could change that. Thinking about this, James deepened the kiss more, and his hands became near frantic to be everywhere on her. He could feel her body heat against his and desperation took over to be as close to it as possible, the material under his fingers was too restricting and obscured his ability of fully making her his.

God, I want her so much…

Lily felt his hands roaming restlessly against the silky material of The Dress as he kissed her deeper, pressing into her. She seriously couldn't quite believe that this was in fact real, and that they were actually doing this. It felt wonderful…and she could now pour out all the feelings that she felt for him without being reprimanded by her mind in some way. She was easily and willingly getting lost in his kisses, and all she felt was bliss.

This is right…it feels so good, it has to be…

The kisses were hot and needy, and as fiery and heated as one of their many fights, they seemed to vent the same amount of passion into the simple kiss as they did when they argued.

Lily pulled back gasping, and James watched her in a hazy, drugged-like state, his hands still on and around her. He lifted a hand and pushed some of her hair back away from her face, and she her eyes fluttered closed at the simple contact.

This was what she had been looking for…he was what she had been looking for…she knew that now…she knew that he was who she wanted…it was obvious from the start…the heat, the chemistry between them was unguarded and reckless, yet Lily was aware that this felt a lot more stable than anything else she'd ever experienced before.

Looking back up at him, their eyes met again and she knew exactly what she wanted to do. The feelings and emotions that she could see swimming around in the depth of his eyes were mutual for her. She felt the same and she wanted him just as he wanted her, it was no different.

`James,' she whispered, pulling slightly out of his arms, and then resting her fingers just at the top of his shirt.

Lily touched a finger to the opening of the material and drew her fingernails gently across his exposed skin; their converging gazes overwhelming them both. She slid her hands down to his suit jacket and ran her fingers along the edge. James didn't fully acknowledge what she was doing until she pushed the offending material over his shoulders, and it dropped to the floor behind him. The Head Boy grabbed her wrists firmly; stopping her movements from progressing to undoing the buttons that she was so deftly working on now.

`Lily…'

But she cut him off quickly, `James…I want this…I do…I want you…please, I need you so much…'

James seriously had to stop to control himself after her statement, and the only way that that could have been recognised was by the hard swallow he took.

`Look…' he started, trying to think of words that wouldn't sound either stupid or corny, `you've been through a lot tonight…I-I wouldn't want to go through with something…t-that you may regret later, you know?'

Lily looked at him and smiled slightly, then moving into him and pressing her lips softly against the gentle curve of his neck. Shifting her left hand up his front, around his neck and into the hair at the nape, she turned his head slowly around to her; their lips again millimetres away.

`Stop thinking James…' she whispered, her eyes dragging up to his, `Stop thinking, and just touch me…'

The need to taste her again became too extreme, and the way her lips just hovered right near his was quickly driving him insane. The only thought that entered his mind was bringing them back together and ending the torment. Pushing his hand up to the back of her head, he held her in place as he pressed kisses against her pliant lips. James could feel time sliding and melting again, but this time the hard dose of lust and love that was thrown in was making him crave more…more of her.

Her small hands flew up to the few buttons that were undone on his shirt; hastening in removing the lot this time without any interruptions. Pulling the last button away from its hole, she pulled the shirt open then slid her hands over the firm, Quidditch trained body in front of her, and up around his neck; pulling him deeper into her.

Flashes of seeing his body exposed and on the brink of rapture in her guest room came back to her, and she remembered thinking how gorgeous he was then…writhing against the innocent cream bed sheets her mother had insisted on using for his stopover…and all she had felt was wanting him…desperately…

God…I still want him…so much… it's like I can't breathe…

`James…' she whimpered, as he clutched her; hands now gripping the small of her back and holding her against his chest.

Did she realise what she was doing to him? Did she realise what effect her moaning his name into his ear had on him at all? Her fingers digging into his shoulders as she arched back into him? God, if she didn't…she was soon going to…

`Lily…please…'

He knew he was probably pawing, but he couldn't stop touching her. Earlier tonight he thought that dress was a god send…now, it was an inconvenience that should just be gotten rid of.

Pulling away from her lips, he trailed tiny kisses down her neck to her shoulder, making her gasp from the delicious sensation. He ran his hands up her arms where they seized his shoulders, bringing them away from his skin, and twining his fingers into hers. The odd contact brought her to open her eyes; not knowing she had clenched them shut in the first place, and look at him.

The expression on his face was sensuous and enthralling, and Lily felt her heart jump as he turned around, holding her hand, and leading her towards his room. His eyes were dark and lust filled as he turned and brought his hand up to his grinning mouth, kissing it softly. Lowering her hand, James opened the door to the Head Boys bedroom, and motioned for her to go through. Lily stepped inside the large room that was similar to her own except for the boyish differences, and gazed around until her eyes fell on him again.

James was the epitome of sexiness as the light from the constantly-burning candles cast a delicate light over the room, creating dusky shadows in all the right places, and catching his dark features with their intimate closeness. Lily's breath hitched as he stepped towards her, his fingers tracing the delicate skin of her shoulders and collarbone.

`You have no idea how long I've wanted you,' he breathed, his eyes searching hers, `so desperately…'

Lily couldn't say anything; she wanted to tell him that she had loved him ever since the summer they had spent together, but the words wouldn't form on her lips.

But he will know…

She paused for a second before taking his hands away from her and turning around slowly so that her back was facing him. Lily pulled her hair out of the way and over her shoulder as she looked back at him.

`Could you unzip me please?'

Oh. My. God.

Swallowing, James answered, `S-Sure.'

With trembling hands the Head Boy reached up to the zip, his eyes sweeping over the smooth, flawless skin of her back, and then down to his fingers to unzip the silky, green material. His skin brushed hers as he gradually unfastened the dress before him, receiving delectable shocks where they touched. Her skin was so sinuous and downy; he felt a significant tug in the bottom of his stomach and subconsciously panted slightly from the arousing picture he was slowly unwrapping.

Lily felt his warm hands reach the bottom of the zip, and turned back around, holding The Dress up, above her chest and revealing nothing to him. She noticed that he was breathing slightly irregularly, and a rush of warmth spread through her with the thought that she could do that to him. Her gaze flickered to the belt on his trousers, and then back to his face; a slight flush of need spreading over her cheeks.

Stepping forward with one hand holding up her dress, she stepped forward and placed her hand gently on the fastening of the belt and sliding it carefully though the loop.

James grabbed her bare shoulders as she pulled the belt open and slid the zip down on his trousers. It felt so unreal, like a very vivid dream maybe. But he knew, as she pushed the loose trousers over his hips, and he stepped out of them, that this was definitely not a dream.

`James…' she sighed, her fingers just brushing over the fabric of his boxer shorts, `please…show me…I want you…I-I don't…'

`Lily,' he said softly, a tremor in his voice, `are you totally sure about this, I mean…'

But he was cut of as she threw caution to the wind and gripped him gently in her hand, answering, `I'm sure.'

`Unh…Lil…please,' he whimpered, clenching his eyes shut as she caressed him through his boxers.

Lily knew she could make this better than it was, and pulled her hand away quickly to back him down onto his bed. The loss of contact made him protest weakly, but the anticipation grew as he felt the cool sheets brush his legs before he tumbled down onto their rich softness. Lily, careful to not let the garment fall, moved onto the bed beside him and moved her hand down inside the open shirt, then down further to the significant swell in his boxers. Touching her fingers to the material, she pushed her hand underneath the fabric, delighting in the fact that he grew harder under her delicate administrations.

`God, Lily please…'

She glanced up to his face and saw a look of pained anguish across his dark features. His hair, more unruly now than ever due to the constant writhing against the covers; his cheeks flushed, the rouge tint adding to the wanton chastity that he was portraying so well; and the sound and feel of him beneath her hand added to the intensity that was threatening to sweep her away.

An impish grin came over her features as she sat up a little then moved down towards where hand was currently situated. Pulling the boxers down further, she viewed him carefully, the memory of him on the guest bed at her house now more vivid in her mind. She thought, as she gently caressed the sacs under his erection, that it was so not going to fit in her; but she trusted James…he'd done this before.

Lowering her head, her breath floated over his sensitive skin, causing him to gasp. Lily pressed her hands against the firm muscles of his legs as she tentatively touched her lips to the tip of his erection, making him squirm with need for her to sheath him completely. She was a little surprised when she was sure she felt him harden more, and in the back of her mind she wondered if that was possible.

Stars exploded behind James' eyes as the Head Girl gently took him into her mouth. The hot, wetness was silky and honeyed, and he couldn't help the reflex that made him arch into that heat. He was swimming in sensation, and his mind flew back to when she caught him before. He had imagined her doing this, but in no way was it as good as reality, and in no way had he imagined it to be anything like this.

`Shit!' he gasped, vaguely aware of pushing his fingers into her auburn hair as she started sucking eagerly, `Lily…uhh…god…'

He could feel the tightening in the base of his stomach, and the tingling feeling threatening to increase and then explode. This was all so good…too good…he knew if she carried on then he wouldn't last…and by the way she felt on him he so didn't want that to happen. His moans were becoming frantic and he tugged lightly at her scarlet locks, burying his fingers deeper into them and moaning her name.

Lily moaned around his cock, her name tumbling from his lips; the sound so erotic and fervent as he groaned it.

`Fuck!'

James pulled her head away from his erection as she moaned around it; the vibrations from deep in her throat reverberating onto him, and sending him into oblivion. Lily gasped as he tugged her back away from him and looked up at his gasping face, wondering if she made a mistake or something.

`What's the matter?' she frowned, searching his panting expression, `Did I do something wr…?'

James, not letting her say anything else, moved up quickly and captured her lips in a hard kiss. He didn't know any other way to stop her from asking why he had done that. How could he have explained that she did it too well, and that he was about to come everywhere? It seemed to work though, as she melted into the kiss and he drew her against him, falling back onto the bed.

Lily felt his still-hard erection pushing against her stomach, and jumped when he grabbed her by the bottom and flipped them both over so that he was above her; and when she realised it, between her thighs. He realised it too and they pulled away reluctantly to look at each other.

After a pause, James slowly started to peel off the dress he had previously bought for her, their fixed gazes never wavering as he progressed. The silky material came off easily, pooling to the floor as he dropped it off the bed, and he had to suck in air quickly from the beautiful sight she made. The Head Boy traced an experienced hand down the front of her body, gently brushing a caress around a dusky-pink nipple, and then around the swell of her breast. The subtle touches made her arch slightly up into his hand, and release a sharp gasp of appreciation. Hearing her approval, James went on to touch the other, lowering his lips to the left and swiping the tip deftly with the flat of his tongue; the sensations flying through her and making her tremble.

`You're so beautiful Lily Evans,' he said, moving his kisses down to her stomach and caressing the side of her body with her fingertips.

James shifted his hands to the smooth spread of her legs; playing his fingers teasingly across her the back of her knees and up the sensitive skin on the inside of her thighs. Her eyes flew open as he trailed a finger down across the black French Knickers that she wore, his hand pressing against the warmth that exuded from her. She let out a small moan at the prospect of him going further, and a rush of anticipation flitted through her quickly.

James glanced at her face before going any further, and he felt his arousal jump at the lustful expression that brought her to how she was now; moaning incoherently against the delicate movements of his hand…he swallowed hard at how she would react to more.

`Please James…oh my god, please…just touch me…'

That plea was the reason of his undoing, and he grabbed the pretty lace underwear and tore them resolutely from her sinewy body. James stopped and viewed the girl in front of him for a couple of seconds; needing to re-gather the thoughts that had gotten blown away by the removal of that last piece of material.

Sliding his hands from the tops of her thighs, right up to her shoulders, he kissed her languidly; not rushing at all about feeling her everywhere. Watching her intently, James dropped down onto the bed next to her and pushed his hand gently down her body. He continued to watch her as he moved his hand between her legs and leisurely caressed her, then slipping inside of her occasionally.

Oh, she's so wet…I need this so much…

Lily's moaning became more frantic as he persisted in touching her slowly. It was agony…pure, sweet agony…and she squirmed against his administrations; trying to gather more friction. She could feel his other hand in her hair, slowly running his fingers through her thick locks, the pace the same tempo as his left hand. She wanted to scream at him to go faster, but her mind wouldn't let her articulate anything coherent that wasn't either `James' or `please'. Slow kisses were then dropped lazily onto her shoulder, and she arched into the sensations of different touches on her body; the main one centred between her legs.

`James…' she whimpered, `please just do it…I love you…I want to be yours…'

James fixed his eyes on the girl under his hands, and she moaned again; but this time in protest as he pulled his hand back up to her face, and turning her head so that her eyes met his.

`I love you too Lils'.'

Kissing her gently, he shifted them swiftly up to the pillows. Lily caught him looking at her and brought her hand up to touch his face and neck. She knew that he was being cautious with her, and whilst it was nice, she really wished he wouldn't.

`I'm not going to break, James,' she whispered, and brought his lips back down to hers, `I love you and I want this, please?'

`I don't want to hurt you,' he said against her lips as he settled himself between her legs.

Panting through the feeling of their most sensitive parts touching together for the first time, Lily answered, `I trust you…I do…'

James didn't think he could have probably stopped now anyway, and looked straight into her eyes, holding her tight to him as he pressed his erection at her entrance. She fought herself to relax as she felt the tip of him against her, and she felt him capture her lips again as he started to push into her.

It did hurt as he started to enter, and she was sure that her nails were drawing blood on his shoulders, but from his expression this didn't seem apparent. He was concentrating his hardest not to hurt her, but he knew that he was…he also had to control himself from thrusting blindly into her. She was so tight and hot, and his body just wanted to drive endlessly into her, but his mind held him back.

`I'm sorry,' he murmured, as he pushed through her barrier, and hearing her gasp as he stilled; fully sheathed inside her.

Lily hadn't even realised that tears had escaped her eyes until he leaned down to kiss them away, whispering his apologies for her pain. She felt the pulse of him deep within her and their eyes met again. Her eyes stilled on his as she felt him pull back slowly and thrust inside her again; the movement a lot easier now.

Then the thought hit her…

Oh my god…I'm actually doing this…me and James…I really do want this…

Lily noticed the sweat beading on his forehead in concentration, and lifted her hand to brush it away, bringing his lips to hers again. Her hand slid into the depths on his hair as his thrusts slowly started to pick up the pace. The awkwardness was increasingly melting away, allowing way for a different feeling inside her; a pleasurable heaviness. Instinctively, she started to move her hips slightly; copying his on their own accord, until she could feel a warmth spreading through her.

James was in heaven it seemed. She felt so good surrounding him, gripping him from the inside and holding him captivated. His mind was still on her though, and he knew that it should start to feel more comfortable for her now.

Everything was perfect as he moved inside her, watching her face as she closed her eyes in pleasure. When he felt her hips answer his, he felt as if he'd fallen away from reality, and he increased the pace again. James heard her release a low moan that he knew she had been holding, and heard her gasp when he grazed against her clit as he thrust inside her. He aimed for it again, pressing his hips hard against hers as he pulled up and out.

`Unh,' she groaned, gripping his shoulders, `…James…'

He answered her moan with his as he pulled out again, and then driving back into her hot depths. James was holding onto a thread of sanity as he pushed back into her, his lips finding the sweet curve of her neck and plundering it; earning more gasps from her.

`Mmm, Lil…' he breathed against her sensitised skin.

James could feel that his impending orgasm wasn't far off, but he wanted her to come with him. He knew she was fairly close due to the caresses he gave her beforehand, and so he drew his hand down her body and then in between them both. Pulling back a little, he was able to manoeuvre his fingers to stroke her sweet spot more accurately than he had with his hips. The Head Girl arched off of the bed into him as he continued, and countless numbers of sultry moans and gasps tumbled from her throat and out over her lips.

`James…oh god…'

The new angle that he was pushing into her was hitting her in just the right place, and adding to the intensity. His fingers touching her were becoming more demanding, and were twisting the coil of pleasure inside her tighter and tighter, until she couldn't believe she was hanging on this long. His arousal pulsed inside her, and one last thrust hitting the place was her undoing.

Lily felt the calm. It was only for a fraction of a second, but it felt like forever, allowing their eyes to meet and for Lily to wrap her arms around James and hold him tightly as her orgasm hit. It crashed into her hard, convulsions spiralling deep inside her and catching James off guard. The feel of her clenching around him as the pleasure took her was amazing, and James plunged.

He felt his erection throb, then explode deep within her. Hot spurts of his essence leaving his body and entering hers…together, as one…

Her name on his lips as he came was the most delicious thing Lily had ever heard, and as he started to come down, they looked at each other, and then kissed slowly.

It was a while before they had fully come down from the extent of the pleasure, and the descent had settled them into a drowsy drug-like haze. James had fallen to the side of her, and had wrapped her up in his arms tightly as she drifted off; oblivious to everything but him. James, even though tired, watched her intently as she lay in his arms, her face innocent and pure as she slept…so beautiful…she was everything he had ever wanted…would ever want…and she was his.

James watched her breathing slowly and evenly, wondering where she was as she slept. Pausing, he leant forward and pressed a kiss against her forehead gently.

`I love you Lil,' he whispered to her sleeping form, `I always have…and I'm so glad we're now together…'

James laid his head onto the downy pillow next to Lily's, and quickly followed the girl he loved into slumber.

-->

20. Warnings of Whats to Come

Cruel Summer

The stadium roared as another goal was scored by their best player. The people were going wild as the ball was just flying into the net; as though it had a mind of its own.

`AND POTTER SCORES ANOTHER,' the commentator screamed, his voice incredulous.

The game was raw and savage, and yet he swerved away from opponents easily; the act seeming to be as natural as breathing. The ball traveled down the pitch, being guided by him until he reached his target. Sweat and anticipation was making his skin hot and clammy, the need to win pulsing deep in his skin. He looked to where the ball was supposed to go, the Keeper standing ominously in front of it; his hands outstretched and guarding.

Potter wiped his brow before setting off, adrenaline and excitement surging through his veins as he approached the goal. He could hear the screams of his fans, their cheers and enthusiasm drowning out the displeasure of the opposing team.

He felt alive.

With one punctual swing of a limb, the ball was sailing into the air, rapidly covering ground. Screams of fans became hushed as they watched in amazement; the ball cutting through the air at the speed of light.

The hush broke as the ball plunged into the back of the net. She watched him punch his hand into the air, the screams and delight from everyone creating a wonderful atmosphere in the stadium. Other players rushed at him and people were crying as they screamed in their seats, waving banners and massive foam hands.

The Angel watched Potter from her rainbow boat in the night sky, smiling vaguely to the triumphant vibes that were rolling off him. She was glad for him; he was at least the best football player in the south of the British Isles.

Looking across the pitch, she noticed Sirius casually transfiguring Peter into a candle, which was peculiar enough without the small Marauder somehow then dissolving into her sister. Nearby, Dumbledore was waving a banner, which had a picture of him drinking a goblet full of Firewhiskey on, and she frowned at the image it made of the Hogwarts Headmaster.

Gazing back at the game, the players had gone and she found herself standing alone on the soft spongy grass. But somehow, the football pitch had turned into the Hogwarts grounds, the moon; large and silver, caressing the tops of the Forest trees with its brilliant glow. Looking down at her hands, her skin looked translucent under the gentle light, her wrists thin and delicate and her fingernails long and neutral. Everything was right now; she knew. Everything was how it was meant to be.

The girl fell to her knees, the grass thick and lustrous against her legs. She laid her hand down against its springy texture, stoking the blades through her fingers, and noticing with satisfaction of the contrast of colour between the two alternate lives. Pure, rich jade against fair, cotton skin.

Beautiful.

Pulling her hand away gently, she noticed the light moisture of dew on the tips of her fingers. She watched the moisture strangely increase as it flowed down her skin into the palm of her open hand; pooling there and shining in the moonlight. The water seemed to change in front of her eyes, into a sharp silvery substance that she subconsciously associated with Unicorn blood.

`But it can't be…this isn't the same…nothing's the same as what I think…it's always like that…it will never change…'

The mystical girl gazed thoughtfully into the liquid silver, her reflection shining back at her; her face beautifully virtuous and innocent. But this was lost on the angel that perceived it; somehow in her mind she was tainted and unworthy of choices and desires. Nothing could be how she wanted anymore; someday, somehow it would show itself, and she would be waiting…the retribution she was truly worthy of having…it would be hers.

She tilted her palm, the fluid flowing over her hand and meeting with nothingness…a void of substance where it would fall to Earth again, starting the cycle, as everything else did in the end. But to her surprise the quicksilver separated like glitter falling through a light breeze; powdering the air and dusting her skin as it drifted.

The red-haired enigma watched it dance in the heavens, a wistful smile tracing her delicate features. Everything happened so fast, she realized, sometimes even without your knowledge…but even how hard you try, nothing you could do would be able to change the unknown decision.

`I know that voice; it's the voice of change…whether the change is good or bad will have to be discovered…and yet, I do feel safe here…maybe I always will…'

She turned back to face him, his dark hair falling floppily into his eyes as it always did. So familiar…so James. He looked at her with a pensive light, as though he was trying to figure her out, and then it changed again; back into the smile he always seemed to wear when he looked at her now. She smiled back, wanting to…enjoying the feelings it brought to be loved by him.

Was it real…?

…yes, I really do believe that…

The kiss was everything… yet nothing at the same time; it was confusion and excitement, and it was all she'd ever wanted. He was warm against her; holding her safely in his arms, protecting her from what he knew the world could become.

`Lily, I love you,' he said, into her hair as he held her.

She gripped him tighter as he spoke, whispering the words back before the image crumbled; as she knew it would soon. It would be over and she would go back to life without him, after all this was just a fantasy wasn't it…? Just something she wanted to play out…? In the end it's always a fantasy…and fantasies never come true…only in delusion…it was something everyone had to accept at one point in their lives.

The tug back to reality started to strengthen, but she wanted to hold on…to the illusion…and, more importantly, to him. But the pull was increasing fast now; escalating until neither one of them could deny or ignore it.

`No,' she sobbed softly, `no…please…'

She felt his fingers brush her hair, and he whispered back to her, his voice oddly far away, `Lily…come back to me, please? Please come back.'

The words choked in her throat; not making it past her lips and the sound not forming; all she could do was look at him, his eyes pleading with need. She wanted to tell him that she would be back, she would see him again, that she would do whatever it took to bring them together again. But still the words didn't form; the feeling of being underwater suffocating her and she wanted to pull her head up and be away.

`Come back to me, Lil,' he pleaded again, getting no response from her.

She was drowning in the lack of air, the lack of speech to tell him. Tearing her eyes from his searching gaze, she took deep breaths trying to alleviate the problem, but the large gulps of air she was taking was doing nothing to help her. Panicking, she looked up at him to see his hands tight around her throat, squeezing hard.

`Please Lily; please…it's not real…'

Her eyes bulged as she took in the sight and feeling; why was he doing this?

He wouldn't hurt me…would he? He wouldn't be the same…but that's what I thought before…no, I have to believe…

She looked up into the face that she loved, and watched with revulsion as the face dissolved into the face of all her hurt. She tried to break away from him; tearing at his fingers as they held her, but her limbs felt like a lead weight, and she couldn't lift them at all.

`He won't keep you bitch!' Matthew snapped, tightening his grip, `He'll screw you over…just like I did…'

`Lily! Please!'

Lily snapped her eyes open and promptly sat up in the bed, hyperventilating in the quiet room. After a pause, she turned her head slowly to face him, concern written all over his features.

`Are you okay?' James asked softly, `It was just a nightmare, that's all.'

She looked down at her hands, doubting her voice before she spoke, `I-It felt so real…'

The bed shifted as he moved towards her, taking her hands in his and tilting her face to look at him, `It's okay now, you're with me…I'll protect you.'

Lily smiled gently, loving the feeling of his hands on her. He stroked a hand through the disarrayed waves of her auburn hair, looking into her eyes as he leant forward and placed a sweet, simple kiss on her lips. Pulling back, she looked up at him, noticing for the first time the moon - so much like in her dream - casting a silver, watery glow across the room and over their skin.

Lily found that she didn't regret that night at all; she found it was how she would always have wanted it…with him. James brought her face to his and kissed her again softly; just a gentle brushing of lips to lips, and yet it was enough to make her melt against him.

`I love you,' he whispered, the words sliding over her skin and making it tingle.

Looking at her affectionately, James touched her shoulder and spoke, `It's Sunday…lay down with me for a while…just for a bit…'

Lily allowed him to pull her into his arms and lay them both back onto the bed; their heads sinking into the soft pillows as James drew the covers up and over them. She snuggled into the warmth of his body as he brought an arm around her and kissed her forehead gently. He smiled slightly as she let out a contented sigh and he held her close as they laid together, a pleasant silence draping them.

******************************

The Great Hall was fairly busy as Lily entered it alone. She and James had lain together for nearly an hour and a half, and it had made her so peaceful and content. The memory of last night was gorgeously vivid in her mind and she wouldn't want it any other way. Reluctantly, they parted ways outside the Head Common Room; James kissing her possessively and earning a whistle from an overly bold portrait, which hung in the corridor.

James had headed towards the Gryffindor Common Room, whereas Lily had proceeded to the large staircase en route to the Great Hall. She was vaguely surprised to see lots of 7th Years, but then realized that it was probably due to the lateness of the Ball, and that everyone had just gotten up. From the looks of it, the House Elves had known that this would be the case and arranged breakfast later for the 7th Years.

Lily made her way towards the Gryffindor table where she saw Rachel sitting with a group of other girls whispering and talking animatedly. Nearing towards them, Lily frowned when she heard her name mentioned.

`…Well, I say, good for her that's all…'

`What's going on?' Lily interrupted; seven heads turned to her and starting to babble.

`Look,' Rachel sighed, shutting them all up, `we just think that it was great, you standing up for yourself last night.'

`I see,' she answered quietly.

`Yeah,' a blonde girl piped up, `in front of everyone as well, it was so amazing.'

The others started to bestow their little agreements afterwards and Lily raised her eyebrows.

`Glad to know that my scandalous love-life - or whatever you would call it - is appreciated by everyone.'

The sarcasm was lost on everyone except Rachel, who winced slightly and then patted the bench beside her; beckoning her to sit. Just as she was about to take up the offer of her best friend, movement caught her attention. Lily turned to watch Matthew Reede walking - or stalking would be a better word - towards her, a lovely black bruise on the side of his face. The Head Girl sucked in her breath slightly and waited for what was to come.

`Lily, leave it,' Rachel pleaded, her opinion different now that she was actually near the action.

`Evans,' Reede growled.

Ignoring her best friend, Lily confronted him, her voice bitter, `On last name terms now, are we? How painful for me.'

The Ravenclaw narrowed his eyes, `You're gonna pay for this, bitch…humiliating me in front of everyone in the school.'

`You humiliated yourself,' Lily ground out, her lip curling in disgust, `and if you don't mind…'

Matthew pulled her back to face him, making the Head Girl panic slightly, and the other students to gasp, but somehow keep watching as though it was an interesting program on muggle television.

`Get your hands off me,' she growled, `before I give you another bruise like that on the other side.'

Lily knew she was playing with fire a little, but she was determined to not seem vulnerable in front of him; however she was a little relieved when he released her from his grasp, and turned away slightly

`Lily, come on,' Rachel tugged at her arm.

`No,' she said firmly, making him look back at her.

`This isn't the end Lily; I swear that you will pay for this.'

`Will she now?'

The voice came from behind them, and they all turned to see James, Sirius and Remus standing there, pointing their wands directly at the Ravenclaw.

James continued, `Somehow I don't really think so.'

`Who the fuck are you three, her bodyguards?'

Sirius glared at the boy in front of them, his eyes narrowing, `Not exactly.'

James moved forward next to his girlfriend, causing Matthew to step back slightly, his voice oddly menacing as he spoke, `I'd stay away from her if I were you, wouldn't want you to end up in the Infirmary again, would we?'

`Actually we would,' Sirius spoke up, his cold exterior melting slightly with the maniacal grin he wore, `but it isn't very sportsmanship, you know?'

Remus glanced over at him and snorted slightly and Matthew glared at the three Marauders, clenching his fists in his robes with anger at their calm exterior.

`Come on then Potter,' he goaded, his eyes flashing, `I'd like to see you fight me without your boyfriends backing you up, hmm?'

James bristled at the insult to him and his best friends, his gaze piercing into the Chaser and wishing he could kill him.

`I fully intend to fight you, Reede,' he spoke, trying to keep his cool, but it made his voice sound a bit clipped, `but not just yet…'

`Too scared?' he asked with relish.

James frowned, and then spat, `You fucking wish! I have better ways of fighting you…they hurt more, and they're more fun…for me that is.'

A smirk passed over his features and Lily wasn't too sure she liked where this was going. She looked back between James and Matthew, their expressions both in a strange contortion of cold fury. Lily was sure she could see Matthew moving his hand toward the pocket that held his wand, but she couldn't be certain.

James finally snarled, `If you ever…ever touch her, or even go near her again, I will make sure the only days that you have left here will be spent in the Hospital Wing…that, Reede, is a promise…and don't you fucking think I'm joking…'

James paused, holding his glare towards the Ravenclaw Chaser, then turned to Lily and took her hand. Glancing back at Reede's incredulous expression, he smirked inwardly, and drew her gently away. The sight must have been too much for Matthew though, and he quickly reached into his pocket for his wand. Just as he was about to mutter a spell at James, two voices shouted out.

`Expelliarmus!'

The whole of the Great Hall turned to watch Matthew Reede sail through the air from the force of the double spell from Sirius and Remus; his wand flying from his hand and snapping in two; it not being compelled to withstand such power.

The three boys snickered at him as he groaned on the hard floor; the rest of the school - even some of the Slytherins - laughing with them.

`Don't forget the match next week, Reede!' James laughed, `I hope you are ready…'

He and Lily turned, and walked out of the Great Hall together while he muttered under his breath, `…but I'm gonna kick your arse anyway…'

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21. In The Zone

Cruel Summer

The next two days at Hogwarts were a hazy blur to the Head Girl. A haze of James…and kissing…and being together. It was something she knew she didn't want to give up. Ever. She knew that she sounded like a crazed, love-struck teenager when she thought about him, but frankly, she didn't really care. But she hoped that she wasn't going too overboard and crossing the line to scary-stalker-girl. Lily smiled to herself at the prospect of that, and shifted her eyes to rest on the Gryffindor Seeker that sat across from her in the Muggle Studies meeting.

The thrill and excitement of the Halloween Ball had ended - to everyone's disappointment - and things had mostly gone back to normal. The news of the Head Boy and Girl actually being together had spread through the school like wildfire and everyone, apart from the odd few, had been extremely happy for them. Lily wondered whether this was the case because they were living out a school fantasy. Head Boy…Head Girl…finally realising their feelings for each other and living happily ever after…like High School sweethearts in a Muggle movie. She knew it was a bit cliché, but wasn't that how everything was in the end?

Lily tapped the end of her quill on her chin as she turned her attention back to the Professor, making random notes here and there to look like she had been listening. Truthfully, she didn't really need to make any, being a muggle-born herself, and the things that he was telling the group was basic muggle information anyway.

With the Halloween Ball needing to be arranged and things that had…just made themselves apparent in the last couple of days, Lily had completely forgotten the Muggle Studies trip that was on the Wednesday after. Rachel had been the one to remind her by asking how many hats to wear for the event. She had had trouble trying to convince the girl that even though some Muggles wore hats of some kind, they rarely donned them in numbers.

Lily's gaze strayed over to where the three Marauders were, and she rolled her eyes at their antics and disrespect for the Professor. Sirius and James were trying alternate levitating spells to raise Alice Pembroke's long, golden plaits into the ink wells at the front of their desks. The two boys were sniggering so loud it was a wonder that the Professor didn't deduct house points. Shaking her head one more time and looking back at the Professor, Lily took down arrangements of the shopping centre and the whereabouts of the place. It was explained that they would all use a special Portkey to the Shopping Centre in the city of Milton Keynes; a shopping centre that Lily had been to lots of times and loved. She would have no trouble helping the other students where they needed it.

`I'm very excited about this everyone,' the Professor spoke, his hands clasped to his chest in enthusiasm, `I, myself, have never been to this particular place, and I think it's a wonderful change for me to be learning with you.'

His excitement seemed to pass onto the students as he explained what they would expect when they should arrive. Lily was watching them all in amusement as they chattered and babbled on in excitement. Then everything was broken as a shrill scream pierced the air. She spun around to see her boyfriend covered and dripping in thick, black ink.

After a moment of silence, the room burst into laughter at James' expense. He was glaring daggers at his best friend, whilst Sirius fell about laughing his head off.

`Sorry mate,' Sirius panted between laughs, the sight of the Head Boy catching his eye and setting him off again.

James scraped the sticky liquid from his hair and scrunched his nose in disgust, muttering obscenities like, `This stuff stinks,' and, `Sirius you bloody idiot.'

Alice had jumped up screaming as Jen, a pretty Ravenclaw girl had pointed out to her the Marauders misuse of her braids. The ink, that Sirius had decided to levitate instead of the actual plait, had flown in the other direction due to the surprise that the shriek had caused him, and hitting his best friend square in the face.

James caught Lily watching him as he glanced in her direction, and she threw him a `that-is-what-you-get' look, before turning back around.

`Ok everyone, I think that should conclude our meeting, and we shall meet in the Entrance Hall shortly after breakfast tomorrow morning. Make your way back to the dormitories quietly so not to wake the 1st Years.'

Lily pushed her chair back and stood up, everyone else following and making their way from the classroom. Lily picked her bag up off of the stone floor and put her things away. Turning to follow everyone else, she found herself in front of James, Sirius and Peter. She tried to stifle a laugh behind her hand, but James noticed it nonetheless.

`Fine, make fun of me,' he glared at her, then at Sirius who grinned back.

`I intend to,' she smiled, lifting her hand up to his face and wiping ink off of his lips before leaning forward and kissing him softly.

James grinned as she pulled away and moved around them, making her way to the door and walking through it.

`I'll see you later Padfoot,' James said quickly, running after her with the soppy grin still plastered over his face.

*************************

James pushed Lily backwards into the Head Common Room as the Portrait door opened, kissing her eagerly on the lips. The Head Girl met his ardour equally as she pushed her hands up his chest, around his neck and into the thick locks of his black hair; the black ink now gone from her `Scourgify' spell. She whimpered gently as his tongue stroked hers, occasionally pulling back and taking her full bottom lip with his teeth. The kiss was hot and passionate and saturated with need…everything that their relationship was like.

James backed her up until the small of her back met the thick oak table that stood in the Common Room. He tore his lips from hers and trailed feathery kisses down her neck, alternately sliding his hands over her shoulders, down her sides then round to grip the tops of her thighs, and pulling her into him. Lily leaned backwards onto the table slightly; allowing a better angle for his administrations. She felt his hands slide back up her front, meeting with the buttons on her school shirt and tugging impatiently; hearing the significant sound of cotton tearing. James made a sound low in his throat as he pulled his lips away from her, and took in the appealing contrast of lace and satin skin. Her breathing quickened under his intense gaze, and when his eyes roamed back up to her face she couldn't help but gasp from the fire they held; turning the icy colour into a dark and fervent cobalt.

James brushed the material over her shoulders, letting it flutter to the floor, and not breaking eye contact as she moved her hands up to work on his Gryffindor tie. Slipping it over his head and letting it meet the same fate as her shirt, she pushed his robes over his shoulders. Without another moment more of thought, she pushed him hard backwards, following him until they reached the soft red sofa. Lily placed her hands at the nape of his neck, sliding them down to his chest and pushing him down into the cushions.

The Head Boy looked up into the face of his girlfriend, surprised at the vehemence in her usually tender behaviour. There was such passion in her eyes, lighting them up as though a candle was flickering behind the emerald. He swallowed slowly; a bout of nervousness suddenly taking hold of him as she moved down over his body. James took hold of her arms as she moved to straddle his waist, pulling her down and kissing her hard; making her moan into his mouth.

Lily broke away from him, sitting back and looking at him gently. She gripped the shirt he wore, and slid her hands up to the top button near his neck. Grazing her fingers softly over the skin, she took the button and slowly pushed it through the little hole, her eyes on his. James closed his eyes and frowned in frustration, a low growl emanating from his throat as she worked the shirt open leisurely. A small smirk flitted over her features as the buttons popped open one after the other and James' patience was quickly about to snap. He felt her hands slide over his chest as she brushed the fabric away, felt her eyes follow the movements until she reached the waistband of his trousers.

`Lily…please…' he moaned, sucking in breath as she pulled the zip down slowly.

The Head Girl shifted her eyes to watch him; a sheen of perspiration over his forehead and his eyes pressed shut. She moved back up his body, dropping tiny kisses onto the corner of his mouth and jaw line. He looked so divine and entrancing as he lay there, merciful to her touch…even if it was driving him slowly insane.

`James,' she whispered, blowing cool air gently over the wet spots she'd left, and causing a shiver to run down to the base of his spine.

Their eyes met again, and she paused; just looking at him for a second. She felt his hand roam into her auburn hair as he gently pulled her down into a soft, languorous kiss. James' hands slid back down her body to her thighs that were pressed over his, slowly running his fingers over the silky skin, and making her moan into his mouth as he moved his hand between them.

James whispered into her ear as he brought her closer. Every touch and caress was connected with a soft `I love you' or a promise that seemed to fasten a strong hold on her, pushing her nearer to that moment where everything fell apart.

And then everything did.

James held her and kissed her as everything became normal again. Her breathing…her pulse…James guarded it all. And he whispered against her lips as her hazy eyes met his again. The Head Boy paused for a second then moved out gently from under her, sliding his hands under her body once he had stood, and picking her up easily from the sofa.

Lily, still in her daze, felt her back meet a soft mattress of a bed, and felt tiny shards of electricity over the inside of her wrist as someone kissed it. Her eyes fluttered open as James moved up over her, and laid a cute kiss on the tip of her nose. She wound her hands back up into his hair; tugging him back down to kiss her, wanting to feel the passion that they always had together. Lily couldn't explain it, she never could; a need so strong that she just wanted to touch him, feel him on her, no space between their skin.

She felt him gasp lightly as she deftly pushed down the dark boxers, winding her thigh around his and pushing the garment off slowly with her foot as she gazed wantonly up at him. He couldn't stand the delicious look that she had across her features; ardent and passionate yet innocent in a way James felt he could never comprehend. And it certainly didn't douse the flames either, which were licking up the insides of his body as the gaze seemed to become more intense. He couldn't stand it, he needed her again and again; it would never stop.

James pulled at the last piece offending material that separated their bodies, making it come away easily in his hand. He felt her breath against his skin and her pulse beating rhythmically, getting quicker as he moved over her; their skin pressed tight. James tugged on her bottom lip before kissing her again, meeting barely no resistance this time as he slid gently inside her.

Lily gasped a little as James entered her; it was different to the last time, a different kind of feeling. Him being inside of her, being one with her. Lily stroked the short hairs at the nape of his neck as they looked at each other. A small smile graced her lips as the feelings broke and he pulled back. The loss of it was overwhelming, an emptiness, like losing half of herself. A moan escaped her throat as he pushed back in firmly, and Lily knew he was holding back; not wanting to hurt her.

`Please James…god…'

She could feel a light sheen of sweat on his shoulders as she held him tightly, the feel of it somehow strangely invigorating as he pushed back again. Her back arched slightly as he moved inside her. James brought their lips together again imitating the motions of his movements with his tongue and making her whimper into his mouth.

Lily moved with him as his administrations sped up on their own accord, thrusting deeper inside of her and making her fingers dig deeper into the muscles of his back, softly urging. Moments of lasting together and around one another. Her hips met his, skin and warmth joining together, his pants of breath with near completion and her answering gasps.

`Lily…god, I love you,' James moaned as he felt the end approach; the feeling where you fall and can't turn back.

Slipping his hand down in between their bodies to their joining, he met where his hand had been moments before, gently bringing her back up to the height she dropped from previously. But sensation was deeper this time, making everything erratic and passionate. James could feel himself falling as she did, over the edge again where bliss was spoon-fed and everything was just so calm.

Slow…velvety…perfection…

****************************

`I hate getting up early!' Sirius whined as he squinted at Peter, `Stupid Muggle Studies…I dunno why we even have to do it…we went to Evans' house during the summer didn't we? That should be enough!'

Peter looked at the black haired Marauder and shook his head amicably. Sirius had only taken the subject due to the fact that he thought that it would be an easy way out of having to work, but apparently, that kind of backfired on him and left him with a lot more work than he would have liked; namely one - getting up earlier.

`It's not like I will need the thing in the real world anyway…it's just a stupid excuse for a lesson.'

Peter kept his mouth shut as his best friend grumbled on about the cruelty that was Muggle life and quickly got dressed. It wasn't that he enjoyed the fact of getting up anymore than Sirius did, but he knew that he would probably bite his head off in irritation if he did say anything.

`Look at this!' Sirius might as well have screeched, thrusting the Muggle Jeans under Peter's nose and shaking them with rage, `What the hell is this?!! They look ridiculous! People are going to remember this forever if I go out looking like a damn idiot.'

Peter sighed and turned away to his bed, where he neatly folded the blue pyjamas and rested them on his pillow. He looked back at Sirius who was picking up the rest of the Muggle clothes and muttering profanity under his breath as he glared daggers at them.

`Look it's only for one day Padfoot, and James said th…'

`One day could ruin my reputation!' Sirius snapped back, rounding on the small Marauder, `This is a nightmare, how does Evans put up with this stuff?'

Peter shrugged, not really worrying about the clothes as he answered, `James said it was what they wear, and Lily helped him buy all that stuff anyway so…I wouldn't worry.'

Sirius chucked the shirt back down onto his bed that he had been holding, and scoffed at Peter's statement, `Damn, she has got him so whipped! Making him buy Muggle clothes? Huh, I don't think so!'

Sighing in exasperation, Peter pulled the purple tie around his neck. He knew that anything that anyone did, said or breathed was going to annoy Sirius today and so he just left him to it. This was one argument that he was going to avoid; if that was even possible. He'd let James deal with him, after all, he or Remus were the best at managing the Marauders temper tantrums, and Remus was still asleep, surprisingly with all the ranting Sirius was doing.

Hmm, maybe he zones it out…

Peter was actually surprised that Sirius was moaning about having to wear the Muggle clothes as he was sure that he had worn them to Lily's.

Maybe it's because of his mood…I'm not going to get involved.

When Sirius had finally got dressed and ready, they made their way down to the Great Hall with their bags, carrying their parchment and Muggle pens in. They had always used those kinds of pens for this class, and they only seemed to agitate the Marauder even more when he saw them sitting at the bottom of his school bag. They entered the hall and Sirius chose to glare at anyone that dared to look at him, challenging them to say something to his face. No one did. Thankfully, it was still early and not many people were up then, but it seemed that a few of the Slytherins that the Marauders disliked had got up especially to see Sirius' change in attire. Sitting down at the table, Peter could practically feel Sirius bristling across from him as he loaded his plate up with food.

After a few minutes they were glad when James and Lily walked into the Great Hall together, and made their way over to Gryffindor table. They were both dressed in Muggle clothing, making Sirius scowl when he realised that James could pull it off better than he could.

`Hey guys,' James said as he sat down next to the scowling Marauder, Lily sitting next to him.

`Looking forward to today?' Lily asked, the question being directed to everyone.

James turned to his best friend as he grunted in disapproval to the inquiry, `What's wrong with you?'

`Nothing,' he snapped back.

`Nothing?' James smirked, `You've practically got steam coming out of your ears! What happened?'

`I look like a damn fool! And! I had to get up early for the privilege!'

`Is that all?' Lily asked tentatively.

`Isn't that enough?!'

`He's been like this all morning,' Peter grumbled to James.

`Oh, shut your trap! And what the hell is that thing around your neck?'

`Wha…it-it's a tie,' Peter stuttered, looking down at his garment and holding it up, `Muggles wear them, you know! Lots of them do!'

Sirius snorted, `Yeah right, it makes you look like a dork.'

James looked at his girlfriend who was trying to contain her laughter behind her hand.

`We just look like idiots,' the Marauder continued, `you included Wormtail.'

Lily looked between the boys. She could tell that James had lent the clothes that she and he had bought, to Sirius, and they seemed to fit him well. To make it plain, he didn't look that bad actually.

`Hey!' Peter frowned, `I know what Muggles wear actually, and they do wear this!'

She didn't want to burst his bubble, but if he did go out like that he would be laughed at.

`Erm…actually Peter, Muggles don't tend to wear ties with jeans and stuff you know? It's not the…typical fashion out there.'

Peter flushed slightly from humiliation and pulled the tie over his head, mumbling, `It didn't feel right anyway.'

Sirius smirked and snickered at the smaller Marauder and then stopped as Lily turned to him instead.

`What?' he asked warily.

`You don't actually look that bad Sirius. Stylish, but not overly so…you look good. All the Muggle girls will be fawning over you.'

Sirius' mood picked right up after her compliment and he grinned, imagining having queues of girls after him in the shopping centre.

`Why thank you Lils', you look pretty good yourself.'

`Hey, no flirting with the girlfriend Padfoot,' James argued playfully.

Lily rolled her eyes at both of them, and Sirius grinned again, `Sorry dude. Girls just love me.'

The Head girl laughed silently as a few girls across the table caught onto Sirius' statement and looked longingly at him.

`There is no doubt that that is true Siri',' she said sweetly.

*****************************

After breakfast, they made their way to the Hogwarts entrance, where the rest of the Muggle Studies class were all assembled and waiting. A few Professors were helping to put the students all into a few smaller groups as they would be traveling by Portkey and could only go a few by each. Dumbledore had made the Portkeys that had been approved by the Ministry, making six in total to travel by.

The Marauders had found Rachel - due to the command of the Head Girl - and had made sure that they all stayed together in a group, as they held onto the Portkey/glove. Dumbledore had arranged that when they arrived at the Muggle Shopping Centre, they would appear inside it, but with a cloaked charm fully around the lot of them; so that the Muggles wouldn't notice them as they appeared before their eyes. It reminded Lily of the Wizard pub in London that Muggles couldn't see, but which was definitely there.

She didn't have much time to think much more about this though as she felt the familiar tug behind her navel as the Portkey activated. She held onto her bag tightly as they swirled through nothingness until they hit the floor with a jar; sending some of the students to their knees with a thud.

`Well, I guess we're here,' she said softly as they all looked at their surroundings.

The Muggles around them seemed nonchalant about the fact that just over thirty wizards and witches had just appeared in front of them, and they stepped around the group and went off into the shops around them. Chatter started quickly between the girls as they spotted the colossal amount of shops; feeling the desire to go and explore, and more importantly, to spend.

`Hold on Class,' the Professor called, making everyone groan in displeasure, `now, I know you all want to go off and investigate the place, but please remember that this is an assignment and that you have to do research as well. I would like us all back here at the large Muggle Clock in four hours.'

James groaned at the last part of the Professors statement, `Muggle time…I'm so glad you're here Lils'.'

Lily looked at him and then at the other three, then answered sarcastically, `Thank you, I feel so loved…for my time reading abilities apparently.'

James grinned and kissed her hair as she took a moment to think. All of them were Purebloods, and they were relying on her to get them all through this. The shopping, the money, the times, the people. Everything.

`This is going to be a long four hours,' she thought out loud.

`Aww, don't worry Lil,' Rachel spoke up, slipping her arm through the Head Girls' and pulling her away from James, `lets go shopping!'

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22. The Muggle Studies Day Trip

Cruel Summer

The first half an hour in the shopping centre was fairly uneventful as Lily had to generally help and take care of the four Purebloods that were quickly driving her insane with their constant whining and goings on. Apparently, dustbins and baby buggies were the strangest things that they had ever laid eyes on in their lives, and were seriously contemplating whether to either curse them into oblivion, or run like Hell. They could tell that the Head Girl was getting aggravated by their peculiar behaviour, seeing that she kept snapping or shooting glares at them; glares that promised agony of the utmost kind.

But they really couldn't help it. This whole situation was new and weird to them; it was odd when you saw a thing that looked like a human body, but which didn't have a head, and was standing in the shop window, clad with all kinds of strange, Muggle fashion.

Sirius had decided to stay a fair distance away from Lily after he had voiced his disgust that dead Muggles shouldn't be paraded in shop windows. He was thinking of the morals, he truly was, and he didn't really know what he had said wrong until the Head Girl growled out the fact that they weren't real.

`How was I supposed to know?!' he had shot back.

`I don't know!' Lily shrieked, flailing her arms in frustration, `With a bit of common sense!'

Sirius cast Rachel a sharp glare as she had snorted and mumbled something under her breath.

Ignoring his look, Rachel looked at her best friend and smiled sweetly, `Don't worry about them Lils…can we go into some more shops now?'

James watched his girlfriend dubiously; he had decided to walk alongside Sirius and Peter, knowing full well of Lily's temper and the fact that he was sure it was going to burst sometime soon. He definitely didn't want to be close by when that happened…or to be the cause of it. Lily pressed her lips together, took a deep calming breath and nodded silently at Rachel.

`Oooh,' Rachel beamed, pointing to a large shop to the left, `let's go into that one!'

Sirius followed the girls gaze as she started to walk towards `River Island'.

`Hey! I want to go in some shops too, you know! Not all the stupid girly ones!'

`Look Sirius,' Lily sighed in exasperation, her anger suddenly having evaporated, `we'll look in here, then I'll take you to Ann Summers, okay? I'm sure you'll find something in there that's more to your liking.'

The Marauder frowned at the slight smirk of her face, glancing at James and from his expression, realising he didn't know what the shop was either.

`It better not be another clothes shop! We've been to 40 million already and it's only been half an hour.'

Lily chose to let the annoying whine slide that time as she smiled and replied, `No, it's not a clothes shop…not exactly anyway.'

Sirius paused, `I don't trust you, Evans.'

`Oh, I'm so hurt,' she answered sarcastically as the five of them walked inside, being dazzled by the overhead lights until they got used to it.

A shop assistant fixed her beady eye onto them as they entered the shop; apparently not used to witnessing a shrieking blonde girl rummaging through the stacks of clothes. Lily flushed slightly in embarrassment, turning to James and telling him to take Sirius and Peter over to the other side of the shop where the male section was. Hopefully she could get some control over Rachel without having to worry about a bored and restless Sirius as well.

`This is such hard work,' she thought out loud as Rachel pulled different garments from the rack and babbled to herself.

From the corner of her eye, Lily noticed the shop assistant becoming more and more anxious as Rachel seemingly destroyed the display order by putting the clothes back into the wrong places.

`Rache?' Lily said, nudging her, `See anything you like?'

Rachel looked up at Lily; her eyes bright and clear through the shopping rush, and held out an armful of garments.

`Everything's sooo amazing!'

`Oh dear,' Lily thought, looking at her friend with concern.

`Erm…hey Rache?' Lily asked the Gryffindor as she started delving into the shelves again, `erm…maybe you should calm down, you know…there's plenty of time.'

Rachel laughed shortly and then continued, ignoring the Head Girls warnings completely. Rolling her eyes, Lily paused and then looked at what her best friend had selected. Tops of all different styles and colours overloaded her arms; trousers with drawstrings, zips, chains, some with patterns, some without; skirts that zipped at the front, the back, the sides, some with belts, some that had buttons which wrapped around; about four pairs of shoes were held in her fingers, and Lily was sure she got a glimpse of a red Pashmina in there as well.

Her head swam as she took in her best friends' choices of attire. It was as if she had walked past the shelves and pulled every random item into her arms…which Lily thought could be the actual truth.

Across the room, the three boys were slowly looking through the large amount of different clothes. Surprisingly enough, Sirius had actually picked up a couple of items that he thought `may' fit into his careful choice of clothing. It was only a blue shirt and a pair of jeans, similar to the ones James had lent to him, but at least he was starting to appreciate Muggle clothing somewhat.

James thought it may have something to do with Lily saying that he looked attractive in the clothes, and if she hadn't…he probably wouldn't even be bothering to look at them.

Sirius' voice snapped James out of his thoughts, `How does this look?'

James turned slowly and looked horrified at his best friends' serious question. Sirius was holding a black shirt against his chest and had moved his shiny black hair over it, to see if it suited.

`How the hell am I meant to know?' James asked, his eyes wide at the uncomfortable situation.

Sirius rolled his eyes and looked back at him expectantly, `Come on Prongs, you know about all this stuff.'

After James' silence, Sirius glared at him, `It's not like I'm asking you out! Just say whether it suits me!'

`No, it doesn't!' the Head Boy snapped back.

Sirius' glare dropped fast into a hurt expression, and he whined, `Yes it does.'

`Then why did you ask me?' James asked, sighing in angered exasperation.

Sirius looked like a child that had just had his candy taken away from him. James, scared to think that he might develop Chibi eyes and start bawling right in the shirt section, looked at him with a guarded expression.

`I only wanted a second opinion,' he muttered, then adding quickly, `not yours Wormtail.'

Peter glared at him, muttering under his breath. Sirius chose to ignore him and turned back to James; dumping the clothes he had picked into his best friends arms. James was too astonished for his brain to form words, as Sirius turned around again and selected something else.

Meanwhile, Lily was trying - but failing miserably - to calm Rachel down. She was sure that the Gryffindor's father, who happened to be paying for this little escapade, would not be pleased with the money his daughter was going to drain out of his `Wizard & Muggle Together' account. Lily glanced quickly at a few racks of different trousers, but nothing really caught her eye enough to buy it. She had to have that bond with the clothes that she bought; she couldn't just buy any old random stuff, which her best friend was currently doi…

`Rachel!' Lily shouted, glaring, `You can't be serious!'

The Gryffindor girl looked around at her and smiled sheepishly, saying, `Come on Lil, I have to try on the stuff before I buy them, you know what I'm like with sizes…I never seem to get the right one.'

`You can't possibly expect me to wait for you while you try everything on…it'll take forever! No Rachel, I'm serious, I'm not!'

The girl before her gave her a pout that the most spoilt child in the world would be proud of.

`You're mean Lily Evans.'

`No Rachel, I'm realistic. Now come on…buy the stuff so we can leave…I'm sure the guys are bored out of their minds.'

A loud whine made them both turn around in the direction the sound came from.

`Pppllleeaasseee Jaammeesss!'

`No!' Lily heard her boyfriend say forcefully.

`Pppllleeaaassseeeee!'

`No Sirius!'

Lily looked back at Rachel, whose eyes were shifting quickly back and forth between her and the door of the girls changing rooms.

`Wait here,' the Head Girl said pointedly.

Walking towards the sounds of arguing Marauders, Lily saw the strangest sight that she probably would see where James and Sirius were concerned. An unfortunate pair of stonewash jeans was being tugged backwards and forwards between the two black haired boys; Sirius whining loudly as James tried to pull the helpless garment from his grasp, and not succeeding in the slightest.

`Let the jeans go, Sirius!'

`Noooo…I want to try them onnnnn!'

`Guys come on, don't fight,' Peter piped up.

`Shut up!' James and Sirius said in unison, their glares biting into the small Marauder and making him flinch.

The struggling ensued as they both managed to grab hold of a leg each, tugging even harder as their glares of anger spurred the battle on further.

`Give them to me!' James barked at his so-called best friend.

`No, you bastard! I want to try them on!'

`For Christ's sake, Sirius!'

`What the hell are you two doing?' Lily yelled at them.

Rrrrriiiipppp!

A wash of silence flooded the room as the two boys slowly turned to the furious red-head over from them. James' mouth opened and closed attractively like a goldfish as he tried to find something appropriate to say. Nothing, however, came to mind.

`Look what you've done you stupid idiots!'

Sirius promptly dropped his leg of material and it plopping gently to the floor.

`I-I didn't do it!' he said quickly, `James started it!'

The poor jeans that had been ripped in half, laid with one leg haphazardly on the floor, and the other in James' white-knuckled grasp. What was going to happen now? Were they going to get arrested but the Muggle Policemen?

`Oh, shut up Sirius!' Lily bit back at his childish attempt of an excuse, `half of those jeans were in your hand when they ripped; giving you joint responsibility!'

The two Marauders looked at each other guiltily. James didn't know what to say to his girlfriend as she stared menacingly at him. She had gone from the girl-he-loved to fire-breathing-dragon in 2.3 seconds flat, and to tell the truth, it scared James to Hell.

`Honestly! What were you thinking? I can't go anywhere with you two without you both embarrassing me or something! Why do you have to be so selfish?!'

James frowned; not really knowing where she was going with this. He glanced at Sirius quickly, noticing that he apparently didn't know or care either, as he kicked the ripped jeans with the toe of his black boot.

The Head Boy could vaguely feel the Muggles eyes on them as Lily stood there and yelled obscenities at them; and he flushed lightly at being told off like a little boy by his girlfriend.

`God woman!' Sirius shouted, drawing James' attention back to him, `Come up for breath already!'

James cringed as he watched Lily's face contort from utter shock then fast into red, hot anger. Her green eyes flashed madly, her auburn hair seeming to crackle with electric as she fumed dangerously.

However, James knew that it wasn't electric that was pulsing through her veins; the immense anger that she was experiencing could quickly lead to some unlawful magic-using if they weren't careful.

`You-will-pay-for-those-jeans,' Lily growled; her voice unnaturally low and husky through the suppressed anger.

Sirius looked at her as though she had sprouted another head, and asked incredulously, `Why would I want to do that? I'm not going to be buying them if they are ripped, am I? It's not like I could wear them in that state!'

`You will pay for them Sirius,' she ground out, `you will pay for them and then we will leave.'

`No! I don't think I should!'

James watched tentatively, as Lily clenched her fists; looking about ready to punch him around the face if he didn't cooperate. Sirius noticed this too and began to back off a little.

`Erm…' he began, his eyes flickering between her fists and back to her face, `I think it would be best if they were paid for but…I don't think I should pay for it all you know. James also did it…you said it yourself Lils'.'

James turned quickly to Sirius, `What?! No!'

`Come on James…accept your responsibility,' he said, glaring at him.

`Yes, you should James,' Lily agreed, her voice changing again as she set her eyes on the Head Boy, `you were both involved.'

`But…' James whimpered, being cut off by Lily's hard glare, `…fine.'

Lily bent down quickly, picked up the second half of the jeans that resided on the floor and thrust them hard into Sirius' chest; startling him from her venom.

`There you are,' she said sweetly, her eyes betraying her anger, `off you go, both of you.'

The two boys looked at each other and then walked reluctantly to the pay desk where the shop assistant stood. Lily watched them with sadistic amusement as they explained their feeble excuse to the Muggle woman about how the jeans came to be as they were; who - Lily could tell - didn't believe them in the slightest.

After rounding up Rachel, her arm full of clothes, and making her pay for them with force, they had finally left `River Island' and were now walking down one of the massive isles of the Shopping Centre. With shops either side of them, there had been some commotion when Rachel had wanted to go into them all; earning a sharp yet venomous glare from Lily, she reluctantly became silent.

After going inside `Freespirit', a shop that Lily loved, she had bought some items herself, which she was quite pleased about. The shop was expensive, but the clothes in there were great and she had purchased two tops and a pair of `RoxyLife' Jeans. She was also quite proud of the fact that she had only spent about 10 to 15 minutes browsing; much to the dismay of Rachel, and the surprise of the three Marauders.

`Lily, where's that shop you said that you were going to take me to?' Sirius asked, causing her to grin slightly.

`We're on the way to it now, Sirius,' she said, glancing up at James as she spoke.

`What sort of shop is it exactly, Lil?'

The Head Girl turned to Rachel's question telling her in no uncertain terms that she would see when they got there. James looked at his girlfriend as she walked next to him, holding a shopping bag in her right hand. A question made its way into his mind as he remembered her ranting in the `River Island' shop.

`Hey Lil, when exactly have we embarrassed you before? You said that we had, you know, when you were shouting at us.'

Lily turned her face to look at her boyfriend closely, then turned back to look in front of her as she walked. After a silence, James began to think that she was deliberately ignoring him, but she spoke finally.

`You seem to have forgotten a certain club incident, Potter.'

James frowned at her answer, and then understanding flooded his features as he remembered.

`Oh,' he said simply.

The night flashed back into his mind as he remembered watching her dance with some Muggle guy, his body pressed against hers, as his fingers gripped into her hips; sliding hands along the soft flesh that he found. James remembered the searing jealousy…the intense need to put the Muggle boy in his place and drag Lily off with him.

In fact…that's exactly what I did…

James didn't regret it one bit however, but he wouldn't tell his girlfriend that piece of information. He recalled that he couldn't stand watching the display across the room, but he couldn't drag his eyes away either; in fear of what the two might do if he did. He didn't blame the boy for being caught up with desire for her; he knew that Lily had looked undoubtedly appealing that night. That was why he got jealous, right? Wasn't it? But maybe it was something else…his love for her maybe? But…was he in love with her then? He had to be…

He remembered the feeling though…the heartbreaking feeling of the palm of her hand meeting the soft skin of his face…

`Oh exactly,' she replied shortly, snapping him out of his thoughts.

James looked back at her, his eyes gliding over her delicate features…her soft red lips…lips that slid against his skin, causing gasps to escape his throat…her verdant eyes…filled with passion as she looked at him…her creamy, soft skin…supple and silky as he plundered it with touch…

`I love you, you know Lil'.'

Lily looked up at him, her eyes meeting his, slightly startled at the public declaration. She smiled a gentle, welcoming smile, `I love you too, James.'

He wound his hand into her left, bringing it up to his face and softly pressing a kiss to her knuckles; her skin smooth as honey as his lips met with it. Smiling, he released her hand from his face but held it securely in his larger one as they walked. Sirius' voice brought them back to their surroundings.

`What?' Lily asked, missing his question.

`Isn't that the shop?'

The Marauder pointed to the large neon sign that hung above the entrance; indicating the shop `Ann Summers'. Lily's smile melted into a mischievous smirk and she nodded at him.

`Well, what are we waiting for then?' he frowned.

`Nothing,' she answered sweetly, `we're right behind you Siri'.'

Glancing at her quickly, they walked to the entrance of the purple coloured shop, the feathers and the tubs of what looked like oils making the Head Girl grin wider.

He's about to get the shock of his life…

The shop was quite dark as they entered it, the low lights causing them to look around in surprise.

`Have fun, Sirius,' Lily grinned and dragged James by the hand around the corner; leaving the two Marauders standing there. Rachel had apparently vanished off, probably buying more stuff. Sirius' curiosity got the better of him as he peered further into the shop. He could see things on racks and walls; strangely shaped items, and drapes of material catching his gaze. Walking down one side, Sirius left Wormtail as he began to explore. The shelves were full of bottles and tubs of different substances, which were labelled strangely.

`Cherry massage oil?' Sirius asked himself softly, `hmm…wonder what that's like.'

A grin flew across his features as he imagined buying that for Amiya…and maybe using it on her.

I'm sure she'd love that…

To his interest, there were all different kinds of colours, flavours and smells, and he picked some up; seeing what they were like. Moving along the wall, he noticed a group of bottles labelled `Chocolate Flavoured Paint'. Sirius frowned, he had heard of paint before in Muggle Studies and how they used it to `decorate' stuff…like their weird two-storey houses.

But why would they want it flavoured? Hmm…it doesn't make sense…

Picking up the bottle of `paint', Sirius read the description on the side. `Chocolate flavoured body paint; heightens your pleasure with extraordinary tastes. Free paint brush.'

The Marauder blinked, thinking out loud, `That's weird…pleasure?'

He placed the bottle back onto the shelf carefully, gazing thoughtfully at all the other items. After he had looked at the shelves, he moved on further, coming up to a rack that looked like to be female Muggle clothes. They were labelled `Bed Clothes' and seemed to be a pair of shorts that went with a small top with two straps. What caught his attention was the writing that looked to be sewn onto the garments.

`Angel by day' was written across the front of the top and the shorts had been displayed so that the back was visible, also reading `Devil by night'. Sirius' eyes widened as he took in the sight of the female bed garments; staring with mixed shock and amazement that Muggle Girls actually wore this sort of stuff.

`Damn,' he laughed, grinning like an idiot.

He stepped past more racks of bed clothes, walking further into the depths of the shop. Sirius noticed a wall on the other side that had all different bits and pieces on. He made his way over slowly; his eyes widening more as he made out what was hanging on the walls. A laugh bubbled from his throat as he saw these objects that were labelled `key rings' and they were in shapes of teddy bears and there was even a moose version. What had made the Marauder laugh however was that the normally innocent items had rather large phallic objects on the front of them. One version of the teddy bears also had tiny leather clothes and in his paw he carried a black whip. Looking across the display, his eyes rested on a pair of pink fluffy hand-cuffs, and down further to a few funny items like `Cream filled Cocks' or extra small condoms, which Sirius thought would barely even fit on his little finger…thank god.

They're just a joke right? I hope so anyway…I feel sorry for the guy that has to buy them…

Sirius laughed loudly at the thought. His eyes roamed over sex-dice and other obscenities that his Wizard mind could barely comprehend.

`This place is amazing,' he said softly, looking around further.

The Kama Sutra and other sexual books stood propped up proudly on a shelf, and he spotted a book named `100 different ways to pleasure your Girlfriend'.

`I should get that for James,' Sirius said to himself, grinning, `he probably needs the help.'

What caught his eye next was two large velvet drapes that obscured another entrance; the deep purple velvet giving the appearance of thick, sultry passion. His curiosity rose another notch as he thought about what surprises may lay beyond the parted veil. The material was heavy and sexy as he pushed further inside; the darkness drawing him closer; making him want…something. The faint lights were enticing, lying inside the darkness as though it held them captive, and certainly not the other way around.

Sirius stepped into the dim light; more clothes catching his attention, and this time he seemed a little more interested.

`This stuff is like what Amiya wears,' he breathed, reaching out to touch the silky underwear that lay in his line of vision.

Blacks and reds assaulted his eyes, weaves of lace and satin; everything that his testosterone craved. He could imagine the complex materials teasing and caressing soft, warm female flesh as she wore it. His fingers running over her smooth thighs and her soft chest as the fabric brushed the tips of his fingers. Sirius found himself breathing faster; his mouth suddenly dry with desire. What was it about this stuff? It held him as tight as a spell; his mind hazy as his tongue swept out to moisten dry lips.

A feminine voice tugged him back down to reality suddenly, `Can I help you with anything, Sir?'

The Marauder turned around quickly, coming face to face with a petite Muggle girl, who from the name tag she wore was called Jessica. She couldn't have been much older than Sirius himself as he took in her slight appearance and soft features; her long dark blonde hair resting at the small of her back.

Sirius choked out a reply after he paused, `Erm…no thanks, I'm fine.'

`Are you sure?' she asked, looking at him with renewed interest, `You look a little lost.'

He paused again, `I'm okay. I'm just browsing…for my…girlfriend.'

`Oh, right,' the girl said, backing off from the tall, black haired boy, `well…if you need me, I'll be just out there.'

Sirius watched the blonde girl as she walked with through the draped entrance; leaving him alone once more with the female Muggle underwear. He paused again, looking over all of the different kinds and imagining the Slytherin in them. He grinned at the thought.

`James! You're doing it wrong!'

Sirius turned around quickly towards the back of the room where a curtain flapped as movement passed behind it. He frowned at hearing Lily's voice, wondering where her and his best friend were.

`Well, I don't know how to do it,' James' voice answered, `I'm a guy…guy's don't have to do this stuff!'

`It's not rocket-science!' he heard her snap at him, `There are two little clips, that's all!'

James sighed in exasperation, `It's all…fiddly.'

`Oh, for gods sake,' she grumbled under her breath.

Sirius moved towards the sounds of their voices, not realising what exactly they were doing behind the curtain. Reaching for the soft purple material, he pulled it back and revealed his best friend and his girlfriend…trying on clothes apparently.

`Oh my god!' Lily shrieked, covering her bra as she spotted Sirius gawking at her like an idiot, `What the hell are you doing? Get out!'

James looked at his best friend, pushed him out of the cubicle and pulling the curtain across them again. Sirius was silent as he was pushed out, the shock of seeing James' girlfriends' bra-clad chest seeming to shock him into no words.

`God, you're such an idiot, Sirius!' Lily snapped at him through the curtain, Sirius finally managing to speak again.

`Hey, sorry Lils'…I didn't know what you were doing.'

`Yeah, well say something next time, before you come barging in like that!'

Sirius grinned, `If it's any consolation…you have a great chest, Evans.'

`Hey, I resent that, Padfoot,' James said in slight sarcasm.

There was a pause before the Head Girl spoke with a sigh, `Just shut up Sirius.'

Sirius could tell she was slightly flattered by his comment.

Sirius had waited for them to come out of the cubicle, and they had had a quick look around at the underwear again before moving over to the other side of the room. They stepped up to a display that had a large warning attached to it, `Warning - 18 years or older'. Lily blushed slightly as the boys frowned and looked at the shelves. After a pause their faces split into large grins and they chuckled, looking at the Head Girl.

`Now we know why you love this place,' Sirius said, laughing, `it just keeps getting better and better.'

`Shut up,' she answered, her face touched with a soft red tinge.

The two boys looked back over the shelves, taking in all of the…`women's electrical equipment' and grinned lewdly. Their eyes grew wide as they took in the different sizes, shapes and colours, until Lily couldn't stand their comments any longer and pulled them away. Finding Rachel by the pay desk, purchasing more items, they tugged her out of the shop and found Peter outside.

`Didn't you go in?' Sirius asked him, watching with amusement as Peter silently shook his head.

After looking around a few more shops, Lily took them for something to eat; protesting against Sirius' pleas for McDonald's until he got so irritable, she gave in just to shut him up.

`I've heard about it in Muggle Studies,' he said, his eyes glittering with excitement as they entered, `they said it's meant to be really good!'

`It's fattening, Sirius,' Rachel said tediously as though he was the biggest idiot on the planet.

The Marauder frowned in irritation, `Why do you girls worry about that kind of stuff? It's so stupid!'

`You don't have to, Sirius,' Lily replied, `because you're so skinny.'

`Hey! I'm not skinny!' he exclaimed, `These stupid Muggle clothes make it look like that! I have muscles! I'll show you them when we get home, Evans!'

`Please don't!' she said quickly, earning a glare from the Marauder, and sighing because he was back to hating the clothes again.

They ate slowly, talking about various things - Rachel; about her clothes - and left soon after. They only had about half an hour left, so Lily decided to go to the information centre and pick up some leaflets for their assignment.

They made it back to the large Muggle clock with a couple of minutes to spare, as Rachel and Sirius had wanted to stop at one of the sweets stalls; making Lily worry that they would be late. The Professor counted all of the students, assuring that they were all present and that none were lost. Fortunately, everyone had turned up safely, with a few being a couple of minutes late. But the Professor had accommodated for this circumstance and had made sure that the Porkey's could be activated by him and not by a specific time.

Holding the glove in their group, the Professor activated it with a quick spell, and they felt the tug pull them into the thick, swirling material; the Muggles totally oblivious to their actions. They arrived quickly into the Entrance Hall of Hogwarts, all glad to be home and in their normal environment and able to use magic…to a certain degree anyway.

Lily and James trudged up the wide staircase towards the Head Common room, the exhaustion of the day making it evident in their eyes and movements. They dropped the shopping bags hastily onto the floor of the common room and walked over to the sofa together; revelling in the silence that only tiredness could create. Flopping down onto the sofa cushions, James looked up at Lily and she smiled warmly at him.

`Come here,' he said gently, holding his arm out to her.

The Head Girl moved towards her boyfriend as he grasped her arm, pulling her down towards his body, and kissing her lazily; soft and slow. He brushed his fingers down her face gently as they just gazed at each other; weariness making their eyes gentle and subtle.

`I love you, Lil,' he said to her, as she kissed him soundly again.

`I love you too,' she answered quietly, as James pulled her down to rest against his chest.

They laid together, James' fingers playing against the curve of her shoulder as she closed her eyes and sighed. Quickly, slumber took them away; exhausted yet sated for now in a warm embrace, and letting the calm wash over them as one, which they knew would be forever.

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23. Sirius in Mission Impossible

Cruel Summer

School had always been Lily's strong point - not that most other things she did weren't either - but she had always felt that she had a knack for studying and the like. She even looked forward to the classes in Hogwarts, she figured it was because she was a muggle-born, and the excitement of entering the wizarding world was absolute. Just the utter enjoyment she took from being in that world; it was something no-one, and especially not any pure or halfbloods could comprehend. But still, she wondered if muggle-borns felt the same way she did. In the back of her mind, there had always been something there…something telling her that the world she lived in then wasn't everything…there was something there. Maybe she had just put it down to childish adolescence but…she had clung to the hope that someday, something would express itself to her, in a way nothing else could. It was in complete surprise that she had received her Hogwarts letter…but not really…she couldn't quite explain it, but then maybe, on some level she'd always known. Maybe it was just silly, but the adolescence had won, hadn't it? She got to live in a world that only children dream of. It was her ticket away from normality that everyone seemed to live in. Her mother and father, though she loved them dearly, still fitted into that character…and her sister…well, she was just as ordinary as a door knob - and to Lily, seemed as though she had the mental capacity of one.

But Hogwarts had invited her there…her…not anyone else. It was different and strange, and Lily welcomed it with open arms. Of course, Petunia resented the whole idea of this, and still to this day made her views on the subject impeccably clear. Not that Lily cared at all, she only saw her in the summer anyway - which in that time she managed to keep a fair distance away from her. But she liked to see her Mother and Father, and these were the things that she looked forward to when she came home. And now being as she was 17, her father had suggested to her about taking her muggle driving licence in the summer when she returned. This was something else she really wanted to do, and even though apparating was fun, it wasn't something she could use when she was walking around town in the Muggle world.

However, as much as she would have liked to see her family again, there were new things now in her life, which made her want to stay. It was James, of course. What was going to happen when Hogwarts finished, and they left the school to pursue other things? It made her stomach constrict with unease and always resulted in her having to shut it out of her mind. It was not like James would want to stay in the Muggle World for more time than need be, and so this was also a factor that scared her.

She doubted in fact that he would want anything to do with Muggles, he didn't seem that way inclined…even though he took Muggle Studies. But she knew that he and Sirius only took it because they thought it would be easy, and could just get away with doing nothing. How wrong were they? And Peter took it because…well, because James and Sirius took it…that was a certainty. The subject was actually quite challenging, especially from a purebloods point of view - which they both were. Lily found the subject enjoyable, it was very interesting how the wizarding world viewed Muggles, and it was also quite amusing when she had to correct the Professor on certain things throughout the lesson. She had to wonder sometimes where the Wizards acquired their information from…it was quite astounding to hear some of the things the lessons seemed to consist of. But then again, it was a fun lesson from any way you looked at it.

Still, as in any wizarding lesson, there was still work to be done. And up to this point Lily had accepted it and embraced it - usually even delighted in it - but today, she wished she hadn't got to go to her Charms lesson. It was quite annoying to have to go to classes after a big outing the day before, and even though it was against her `religion' as a studious Head Girl…she really couldn't be bothered.

The noise of the Great Hall this morning was aggravating her, and Peter twittering next to Sirius; trying to get him interested in something he had to say, was even worse. She wanted to growl at him, or hex his mouth shut for just five minutes, but she didn't. She just stared down into the bowl in front of her, making little patterns out of the circle shaped cereal stuff that sat innocently in a pool of milk.

`It's quite fun actually,' she thought, as she made another little flower shape before it drifted apart again, `…ok, I need a hobby…'

Lifting her head out of the palm of her hand, she blinked and looked up. The sight she met was of one Sirius Black wolfing down bacon and eggs like it was the last thing on earth. She watched him perplexed, her gaze then flicking over to Peter who was tugging on Sirius' school robes in irritation.

`Sirius…Sirius…'

Sirius continued to ignore him as Remus was saying something to James that he was obviously interested in too. Snippets of the conversation were `Quidditch', `Ravenclaw' and `Arse-kicking'. Lily really couldn't be bothered to listen to them; that and the thought of having to get up to go to Charms soon was depressing her even more. It was quite unusual.

`Maybe I'm coming down with something,' she wondered, then brushed it off quickly.

Lily was brought quickly out of her thoughts as James shouted out `Ha!' slamming his fist down onto the wooden table and sending all the drinks overboard with an enthusiastic swipe of a carefully directed arm. Lily, shall we say, was not amused in the slightest, especially when the thick, stickiness that was pumpkin juice flew across her placemat and landed with a splash across her Charms folder.

`Oh, for Christ sake James, you great lummox!' she shouted at him, grabbing a cloth and mopping up the juice.

`Shit, sorry Lils,' he said grabbing a cloth on the other side of him and helping to clear it up.

`Don't!' she pushed his hand away just as he managed to pour more down the side of the table and into her lap.

The look on James' face was quite horrified as Lily growled obscenities at him for sloshing juice down the front of her robes, `It looks like I've bloody pissed myself now James, thanks a lot!'

Remus and Sirius found themselves with a nice, hard glare as they started to chuckle. Lily apparently didn't see the humour in the accident that they saw, and Sirius caught a swift kick to the shin as he continued to laugh.

`It's not funny Sirius Black.'

He grinned at her expense, `Oh, but it is.'

Huffing and pushing James' hands away from her that were still trying to get the juice from her front; she glared at the Marauders in turn. Knowing what Lily was like in one of her psycho-bitch `moods', they tried to keep as quiet as possible. However, this mustn't have occurred to the smaller of them as Peter kept saying Sirius' name, still trying to grab the wily wizards' attention.

`Over and over again,' Lily thought as she mopped her folder, which had now turned orange, `he's saying it like a bloody mantra! Ok, horrible images!'

The Head Girl fought the urge to vomit at the picture her mind made up, and continued to try and wipe the rest of the mess off her robes. It was after the next round of Peter saying it, that Lily snapped.

`Oh, for God sake, Sirius! Answer him! It's annoying the hell out of me!'

Peter jumped back slightly, a bit disorientated that the venom in her voice was aimed somewhat at him, and he turned back around to face his empty plate.

`Erm…it doesn't matter,' he whispered, his hands twining in his lap.

Sirius shrugged, bit into a piece of toast and turned his head around to face the Slytherin table. He grinned when he thought about what he was going to do. James shouldn't have given him the password to the Head Common Room and expected him not to do anything with it. He should know his best friend by now. Sirius would never pass up a chance to make himself come out as the hero…especially when it meant impressing a girl. And the girl in question was so damn hard to impress anyway that this would be something hopefully worthwhile.

Looking at her from across the great hall, he smirked, and then turned back to face his friends. His friends…minus Lily. She must have left for Charms. He snickered when he thought about the red-head…she always left so early. There was about 3 minutes left! There can really be some serious food consumption in those 180 seconds.

His mind drifted back Lily again, back to the time when they nearly had sex on the kitchen table. Sirius grinned as he thought about it, absently wiping a smudge of strawberry jam from his chin.

Mind you, it wouldn't really count as anything if it had happened. She was drunk; I was…well, sober I think…hmm…okay kinda glad it didn't happen now, but if it HAD! Then it wouldn't have counted `cause…well, nothing really counts when you're dru - when one of you is drunk…right? Hmm…

Sirius wondered what would have happened if they had had sex. It would definitely be different now. He couldn't imagine James and Lily not getting together one way or another anyway, and in a sense, he prided himself on the fact of how quick it happened. Surely, if he and Lily had actually managed to `seal the deal' as he eloquently put it in his head, it would have been longer in getting over everything. He saved them a lot of time really.

The Marauder chuckled inwardly and looked up to see Remus, James and Peter, standing up; assumingly ready to go to first lesson. Dropping a crust of toast onto his plate, he picked up his rucksack and slung it carelessly over his right shoulder. He grinned as he felt Amiya's eyes on the back of his head, practically willing him to turn around and look at her.

Heh, no way am I falling for that! That girl will have to wait!

Amiya stared down at her Potions assignment, wondering if she had gotten all of the facts and properties about `Dried Billywig Stingers' correct. She was too caught up in trying to tweak all of her writing into a form that her Potions Professor would prefer, that she didn't at all notice the black-haired Marauder who was sitting across from her.

Neither did she notice him leave.

Dullness…

What a boring old lesson…

Doodling's fun though…pretty pictures…

What's wrong with me?

Lily blinked and sat up straight. God, were today's classes going slow! Double charms this morning had been vaguely stimulating…Transfiguration in the middle wasn't that good though. They had all been asked to run through exam technique, and had been given past exam parchments to practise on. She hadn't been concentrating that hard today, that was why she had found it boring. But now…double Potions in the afternoon…that was enough to drive even the sanest person...well, `over the edge' so to speak?

It was again that she wasn't concentrating, and the fact that all the Professors seemed `exam happy' today, was really annoying her. They had gotten the idea of throwing all of the students into the deep end, and that it would actually help them. Most of them were struggling. It was kind of cruel that they would do something like this, but…that was life at Hogwarts; things weren't generally easy there.

Lily fiddled with her Goose feather quill, and filled in some of the sections on the paper at a leisurely pace. She really couldn't do it any other way. The lesson had about ten more minutes to run before it would be done, and rushing just didn't seem worthwhile at that point in time. She tapped the tip of her quill on her chin and looked around the room. It was obvious that everyone was bored out of their minds by the way they were sitting. Angela McNeal had chewed her Sugarquill right down to the sugared nib, and it looked like she was contemplating on demolishing that too. Hiding a yawn behind her hand, Lily jumped when the Professor spoke up, breaking the silence.

`Okay class, you may go. Remember to finish off that paper for homework. We'll be going through it next lesson.'

Lily rolled her eyes before packing her things away. The Professors must be really hard up on what to teach; exam papers were just like an easy option…and they were really hard sometimes.

Making her way towards the large door at the back of the classroom, she glanced at Remus and Peter. They seemed to be the only Marauders that were present that day for Potions, and Lily wondered where the other two were. It was weird seeing their empty seats at the back of the class, and she decided to ask Remus about it when they were outside. Hugging her school bag to her chest, she waited for him to make an appearance. Ah, there he was.

`Remus?' Lily said, walking towards the boy in question.

`Oh, hi Lils,' he answered, stopping and slinging his blue bag over his shoulder, `glad that's over, huh?'

`Yes,' she smiled, `I just wondered if you knew where James is, seeing as he wasn't in class.'

`Oh, yeah.' They began to walk down the dark dungeon corridor. `He's doing Quidditch practise. I thought you knew.'

`No, he didn't tell me.' She said pausing, `how come they're allowed time off?'

`Not sure…maybe they asked Dumbledore or something.'

`Yeah, could be.'

The three 7th years stepped into the Entrance Hall, most of the other students around them heading up to their Common Rooms to change, and drop all their things off. Saying goodbye to Remus and Peter who followed the others, Lily made her way over to the Library.

The large, musky room, which housed mountains upon mountains of magical books, was beautifully serene. Just the place to finish part of the Muggle Studies Assignment without getting harassed for something, or another. The Head Girl made her way over to a large table which sat to the left in the room, in a slightly darkened corner. There was just enough light to be able to see the quill hit and curve onto the parchment in front of her. It was perfect.

Dropping her bag onto the bench, she slumped into the wooden chair and tugged her school jumper over her head, leaving her in a much cooler shirt. Another thing about the Potions room was that it was so stifling sometimes. It often left her with a headache the size of Africa, especially if it was the last two lessons on a Thursday. Opening her organizer and pulling out her file, it clearly stated that this draft of the assignment was meant for third lesson the next day. It was fairly small so Lily hadn't worried about it at all. Plus, it was Muggle Studies…she was a Muggle-born…not too hard, she should think.

Gathering all the necessary pieces of parchment and her notes, Lily unrolled a blank 12inch scroll and picked up her quill. She looked at where the heading was meant to go; a little spot of ink dropping to the page as she sat; poised.

This part was the outline of the assignment. A bit more depth than just an introduction, but not as intense as the full body of it.

Looking at her notes for a second and then back to the parchment, she started to write. Thoughts, words and sentences rolling over in her mind then tumbling down her arm and out directly through the dark green ink.

It wasn't long before she became lost in the thoughts of muggles and the way they lived…the world around her filtering away.

Quidditch practise had been bad that evening. The rain was continuing to fall even when they had decided to stop, and everyone was absolutely soaked through. The pitch was disgusting; mud and water mixing up and clogging onto their shoes and robes as they landed on the ground. A couple of the girls were moaning generally about everything…and some of the boys joining along too. As the Captain, James was really meant to keep his team happy and cheerful, but seeing as the rain had done just about everything to its ability to make their practice a nightmare, he didn't see really why he should bother. It wasn't like he could do anything about it anyway even if he tried. All he did was called it a night and decided to trudge back up to the castle.

Not wanting to spend more time out there than necessary, he'd advised his team to just change and shower back in their House Common Rooms and not to use the Quidditch pitch showers. This probably made more sense anyway…the water didn't seem to be letting up, and parts of the grounds around Hogwarts were flooded already. Stay out there any longer, and they just might not get back in.

Walking back up to the castle, James wondered where Sirius had been. He had missed practice, which he never does…James actually found himself being slightly worried about his best friend. That had been another reason why Quidditch had gone badly…improvising with two Chasers wasn't exactly the easiest thing in the world. Concern turned to annoyance at the lack of the three of them, and James tried to think of something more important Sirius would have to do that wasn't Quidditch. He found nothing.

He's probably off banging that Slytherin girl… a thought that greatly irritated him.

`And with the match so close! Ugh, I'm gonna kill him!'

James strode up to the front entrance; the defiance on his face clearly not having its full effect as he looked as menacing as a drowned puppy.

`They should play that Muggle music thingy for me…shit, what's it called? Erm…uh…damn it, I hate it when this happens! It had that guy in it…Fuck! I only watched it like a week ago! Oh, hold on…Mission something? Ugh, I'm so stupid…why doesn't school teach you how to remember the crap they teach you?'

Sirius snuck up to the Head Common room as soon as Quidditch practise started. Looking around the wall down the corridor before he stepped out, he made sure the coast was clear. The last thing he needed was some stupid little first year running off to the Head of House saying he was up there…snooping about. It didn't occur to the Marauder that they wouldn't have an alibi either for being up there, seeing as they were first years and should be no where near the Head Common Room. Getting the go ahead that no one was around, he carefully walked across the landing towards the painting of the obnoxious, and annoyingly beautiful Veela that guarded the entrance to Lily and James' bedrooms.

Sirius tapped the painting on the Veela's arm, and she awoke with a small yelp; fixing her icy eyes on him when she realised who stood before her.

`And exactly who might you be?' she asked spitefully.

Sirius frowned and spoke hushed; his eyes flitting down the corridor every so often, `You don't remember me?'

`Can't say I do,' she answered in a bored tone, flipping her white blonde hair.

`What?' Sirius was actually surprised; all the girls remembered him! `I can't believe you don't remember me!'

`Am I supposed to remember you? Was it a new rule that Dumbledore enforced that I didn't get to hear about until just this second?! Just because I sit in a painting all day, doesn't mean that I remember every single person that walks by! Even if that's just two a day!!'

Her voice had become gradually louder as she'd spoken to him. Sirius actually had to `ssh' her as to make sure someone didn't hear them. He sighed in exasperation.

`Look, it doesn't matter, just let me in.'

`Plus,' she added, snapping at him and ignoring his command, `what's so great about you that I would have to remember, huh? I don't see anything special!'

She had seriously crossed the line as far as Sirius was concerned, and he glared at her in contempt. `Hey! You're seriously pushing it, Veela.'

The girls eyes narrowed, and she spoke haughtily, `I'm just relaying information that I think should be known that's all…don't people say that friendship's built on total honesty?'

The sarcasm grated on Sirius' nerves and he'd never felt such anger in a short space of time before…maybe because she questioned his `special-ness'. Hmm…stupid girl…

`Can't think of a good come-back? You poor thing.'

`You better be glad you're in a frame, woman!' he barked at her.

The Veela girl hid a fake yawn behind her pale hand and rolled her eyes at a seething Sirius, `you bore me, little boy.'

`Little boy?!?'

`Well,' she said, looking down at him, `that's what you are, are you not?'

`No!'

`No?'

`No!!'

`Well, please forgive me, kind Sir! I believe I am mistaken…pray do tell me, what you are instead.'

Sirius met the girls' eyes, the amusement clearly shining boldly out of them. Sirius hated her for that.

`Floralyte,' he growled out, his jaw set and barely able to keep from saying something else to the annoying Veela.

She blinked and asked cutely, `What?'

`The password; Floralyte. Now let me in.'

`Why should I? All you've done is be rude to me.'

`Me?!?' Sirius asked incredulously, `I said nothing to you!'

`Oh, yes you did! How dare you make me take full responsibility?!'

`Because I didn't say anything to you!'

If Sirius wasn't already annoyed enough to consider doing her painting damage, he really was now.

`I haven't got time for your petty argument crap! Now let me in!'

The Veela drew back on her chair, glaring icily at him. `If you think that is the ticket to your entrance, you are sadly mistaken.'

`I don't care! I don't care if it's the ticket to any entrance…mine or whoever's!'

Sirius was too mad to catch the hidden meaning, his anger even obviating the chuckle of the girl in front of him. He stared at her in contempt, his hands balling into fists. All she did was sit there with her arms folded; and tapping her foot infuriatingly.

Bloody women! What's the matter with them?! Why do they have to be so annoying?!

`Please…' he said softly, gritting his teeth.

The girl held her hand up to her ear. `Sorry, what? I didn't quite catch that.'

Sirius paused and fumed; glaring at her. He looked down at the floor, and spoke louder, `Please?! Please, let me in?!'

`Please, what?'

`…Miss, Please Miss…'

She beamed. `Ah, see that wasn't so hard now was it?'

Sirius didn't even have the chance to contradict her as the painting swung outwards; nearly knocking him off his feet. He just tried to grab what little bit of dignity he had left and walked through the small entrance; hearing the click as the wretched girl sealed the door behind him.

James stepped into the Great Hall looking out for his girlfriend as he walked down the aisle in between the tables. Keeping an eye out for Sirius as well, he spotted Remus sitting at their usual place with a few of the other people from their house. Walking towards him, he noticed neither Sirius nor Lily were anywhere around. Frowning, he sat next to Remus; receiving a greeting from the people around them. After replying, he turned back to his fellow Marauder.

`Remus, have you seen Padfoot?'

Remus looked up; answering, `Wasn't he meant to be at Quidditch Practice?'

`Yes,' James sighed, `but he wasn't…so, I need to find him so that I can forcefully ask him why exactly.'

The boy chuckled. `Uh oh…do I sense `Padfoot torture'?'

`You are so wise beyond you're years, Moony.'

There was a pause as Remus picked up his goblet, and took a gulp from it.

`Well, I don't know about Sirius' whereabouts, but I do know that Lily was looking for you.'

James sat up. `Oh?'

`Yeah, I told her you had Practice. I think she went into the Library…that's where she seemed to be headed.'

`Thanks, Moony,' James said, standing up, `I'll catch you later. If you see Sirius, tell him I'm looking for him.'

`Okay.'

Remus turned back to the current conversation between the people at the table as James walked towards, and out of, the double doors.

Dear God, my brain hurts now…ugh…

Lily dropped her quill back into her quill-case and leant back against the chair that she was sitting in. Writing up the Muggle Studies assignment had been fairly reasonable for the first 20 minutes…but as the time had passed it had become increasingly tiring and brain-numbingly dull. It took her a good more 20 minutes trying to decipher what exactly the books were saying, as a lot of them were complete and utter bullshit to say the least. She'd found it amusing that other obvious Muggleborns had read these books and also found them to be utterly stupid. Lily knew this because she'd found little notes in the margin where people had written. Most of the notes weren't really things that she would willingly repeat to anyone else. It seemed that some people became quite passionate about the fact that the wizards had said something wrong about the Muggle community. It was fun to read them though. Students had even replied to some of comments; agreeing that the wizards that had written this were complete and utter shithea…

Lily closed the book fast, paused and then laughed to herself.

Picking up the rest of the books that lay on her desk, she placed them back on their appropriate shelves and went back to shove her things in her bag. Placing the just-worked-on parchment in a little more carefully and fastening her bag, she slung it over her shoulder and walked towards the door. Reaching it, she pushed hard against the heavy wood.

So hard, that she felt it slam into the person that was walking the other way.

Lily paused from shock. Oh my God!

She wrenched the door back open quickly and found the person she would least like to hit with a big, oak, library door.

`James!' Lily gasped, clasping her hand over her mouth, `Oh God! I'm so sorry!'

`I came to look for you,' he said slowly, holding his forehead and then grinning. `Now; I wish I kinda hadn't…'

`I'm so sorry!' she said rapidly, reaching up to move his hand, `Oh shit, I'm so sorry.'

James laughed, taking her hand in his and kissing the palm. `Lil, it's okay. I'm fine.'

`No, you're not fine!' Lily answered; earning a roll of the eyes from her boyfriend, `we should go to Miss Pomfrey!'

James shook his head, wincing mentally, `Lily. No. I'm fine. I promise. I don't need to see her.'

Lily's features hardened, and she gave him The Look. `You have a gash in your head, you idiot.'

`Just put it down to Quidditch or something,' he answered, grinning boyishly, `plus…I don't want everyone knowing that my girlfriend beats me up…'

But instead of lightening the situation up, James managed to make it worse. Her eyes flared.

`James Potter, I did nothing of the sort! It was an accident! It wasn't like I got up this morning and thought `Hmm, I wonder what will make today more interesting…oh I know! I'll just blow a hole in my boyfriends' skull!!'.'

James went into hysterics at her seriousness. `Lily! Lighten up. I was kidding!'

The Head Girl folded her arms and raised an eyebrow as he laughed.

`Do you see me laughing here?'

James pulled her to his arms and kissed her cheek, deliberately making it sound like he was about to bite her ear off. She began to laugh as she tried to get away; his breath in her ear tickling and making all the hairs on her skin stand up on end.

`James! Stop!' she squealed between their laughter, `you've slobbered all over my face, you sod!'

James pulled away and grinned down at her. `You know you love it really.'

Lily threw him a skeptical look as she wiped her cheek on the sleeve of her robes; him chuckling, squeezing her close to him, and making her smile. Lily looked up at him as he held her, reaching up to have a better look at his head. The cut was only tiny, and the amount of blood was minimal, but that still didn't mean that she wasn't worried. James leant down and kissed her slowly, touching her bottom lip with his tongue and encouraging her to allow him to deepen it. He could feel the stray hand used to inspect his forehead move down and around into his dark hair. She made a noise in the back of her throat and James pulled away softly, their faces staying a few centimeters from each other.

`You didn't tell me you were drenched,' she said, wiping her hand on her robes again.

`Couldn't you see for yourself?' he smiled.

Lily mock-glared at him, and replied tartly, `I was a little preoccupied by the whole head-against-the-door thing!'

`It's nice when you worry about me.'

`Well…' Lily broke off, `just be quiet you…'

She was surprised…she didn't have anything to say to that…what a miracle that was! She looked up into his cerulean eyes and glanced at the cut.

`Come on,' she said gently, `if you're not going to go to Miss Pomfrey, I guess I'll have to clean and dress it then, won't I?'

Lily took his hand and led him up the broad stairs towards the floor that the Head Common Room was on. James followed behind her, allowing her to lead him up. He grinned.

`So…does that mean…that you're going to nurse me back to full health?'

Lily raised an eyebrow as she walked, not looking back at him. `I think that you're health is perfectly fine. Your big mouth seems in perfectly good order…that usually means the rest of you is.'

James smirked and stopped her as they got onto the long corridor.

`I really think I'm going to need one of those full Muggle medical exams…Nurse Evans…you know, the ones where you have to do a physical test too…'

`Oh, you do, do you?'

`Mmm, yes…definitely…'

`You know, for one of those, you have to do an internal exam too, right? I'm excellent at those…great with a pair of pliers…especially in the scrotum area…'

James blinked. Lily smirked.

Silence…

`Want to cancel your appointment?'

James swallowed, `yes…I think that might be best.'

Sirius pulled the heavy wooden draw open with a tug and saw the plastic carrier bag. He grinned as pulled it out of its little hiding place. Standing up quickly, the bag still in his hands, he pulled it open…and smirked from what he saw inside.

It would be perfect…

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