What matters and what does not

oconel

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 24/10/2003
Last Updated: 28/11/2003
Status: completed

The summer following OotP, Harry and Hermione go back to Grimmauld Place, now deserted except for Buckbeak.... Harry’s is feeling miserable and needs a friend to comfort him from the latest happenings in his life. But friends might become something else, can’t they?

Chapters

1. What matters and what does not

2. What matters and what does not 02

3. Epilogue

1. What matters and what does not

What matters, and what does not

Outside the wind is blowing, outside it's raining,
A terrorizing howl.
I watch you sleep, breathing sweetly,
In this peaceful room.

I want to kiss you, I'm afraid to wake you up,
I enter your dream, and I shout from the distance
That I love you.

In just a second,
I've understood what matters, and what does not,
The end of the world, the storm, the pain,
Are far away from this room.

Disappointments and ill omens,
Envy, intrigue,
Complicating, our lives
Lie far away from this bubble…

En un solo segundo (In just a second) - Amaral

I can't breathe properly; the air is thick and stifling. It feels like I'm drowning, and I'm so cold. I look to the left, there he is, sleeping quietly, breathing rhythmically. His face shows peace; the nightmares and pain are gone... For now.

The day has been long, and now, while I look at him, I remember the morning; cold, grey and unpleasant.

Ron. I don't know if I could explain to him what has happened. I don't want to hurt him, furthermore, if I did, Harry would suffer too. He will arrive in the morning; he had to stay home with Ginny to degnome the garden again… I personally think the Weasleys pretend everything is all right, so their children will believe that, but they don't notice that Ron and Ginny have already faced Voldemort.

The last twenty four hours are a little blurred in my mind, as if they were part of a dream. I'm dizzy and can't think properly. I'm scared and happy, trapped but free. But the choice is made, that's why I want to live everything once again, for both of us, though…

***

Harry had phoned her before going. His voice was dark; he didn't say much and that made her worry. She told him he shouldn't wander on his own, but he had decided; he said that Lupin would be there.

Hermione understood why Harry was there: he needed closure to Sirius' death, and visiting Grimmauld Place and Buckbeak was the best way to do it. But Hermione thought it was a bad idea, the old and sinister house was not the best place to start again; to wash the pain away; to say good bye.

When Hermione entered, she noticed it became harder to breathe. The house atmosphere was claustrophobic.

Sirius' mother looked at her with reprobation from the portrait, but said nothing. She looked different from what she remembered, and the hate in her eyes was mixed with something that looked a lot like pain. She soon cast her eyes away from Hermione's.

Harry was very pale and had a very bizarre look on his face. His eyes were red and damp.

'It's been too hard', she thought.

"Are you OK?" she asked. Harry nodded avoiding her eyes. "Where's Lupin?" said Hermione, looking around.

'The house hadn't changed at all,' she thought. It seemed impossible it had been the previous summer she was here.

"He's just left," Harry answered hoarsely, and began to walk to the stairs. "Let's carry your things to the room," he picked up her luggage, as if he needed something to do.

"It must be something very important for Lupin to leave you on your own." She stopped and stared at him, wondering if Lupin had ever been there, or even knew Harry was going to the house.

"I'M NOT A CHILD, HERMIONE!" he answered with gusto. Hermione could tell he was very distressed; he dropped the trunk heavily on the floor, and then left.

"I'm going to feed Buckbeak," he spoke in a tone that clearly meant that he wanted to be alone.

She stood in silence for a moment and shouted while he began to withdraw.

"Look, we all know you can take care of yourself, but we don't want you to -"

Harry stopped; shuddered with anger, and without turning said in a soft voice, "You know nothing. You have no idea of what's going on, not a hint, so don't tell me..." Harry paused for a moment, "I shouldn't have -"

"You're right, you shouldn't have come."

Harry stopped shivering, and said in a calm and cold voice, completely a stranger's, "- phoned you…I shouldn't have phoned you."

And he finished it at that, walking away, leaving her alone.

***

I get up and embrace myself with Harry's cloak, the room is frozen and the faint lights make odd shadows on the wall, I feel lonely and there is a persistent ache in my stomach, like a thousand pins stabbing in.

He's peaceful now, he needed some rest. I can hardly believe he doesn't have nightmares after what has happened since he arrived at Hogwarts.

"Sleep unconcerned," I tell him.

***

She unpacked when Harry had left; something inside her said it was a bad idea to remain in the house, but he needed her, (even though he wouldn't admit it).

Hermione grabbed some chocolate frogs and went to Buckbeak's room. Harry was talking to him very softly whilst brushing his head. She thought it would be appropriate to knock on the door first.

Harry turned and looked at her, evaluating the situation for a moment, "Come in", he said in the end.

While she looked at them, the boy and the hippogriff, it occurred to her that the look in their eyes was similar, old, sore and angry… She moved in close and handed him a chocolate frog.

"No, thank you."

"Come on, it will help you."

Harry avoided her eyes. At this moment Harry wasn't sure he wanted to be helped. She wondered if he was hurt beyond help, if he could ever heal. Reluctantly he accepted the chocolate, and began to eat whilst watching the hippogriff.

"How is Buckbeak?" asked Hermione, trying to start a conversation. She was afraid that he wouldn't be the same again; afraid she would never see him smile once more, primarily afraid of losing a friend.

Harry answered after a long pause, "He misses Sirius."

'You sure you're talking about Buckbeak?' she thought timidly.

"Harry... How are you?"

She cursed herself for such a stupid question, but it was too late. Harry's eyes flashed looking at her for a second, and then he looked down, bit his lip and remained in silence.

"Harry" Hermione put a hand in his shoulder, feeling that she needed to make him converse. He hadn't spoken a word about Sirius' death, and she couldn't believe he didn't want to. His misery was beginning to look so palpable…

"Harry", she repeated, "I just want to know how you're feeling."

Then he understood he had to face it, and that it wasn't Hermione's fault. He had phoned her. But he didn't want to tell her about the prophecy, nor Sirius' death,

"I'm not sure I want to talk about it," he said crustily, "I'm sorry about what I said before, but I still think I shouldn't have told you to come…I'm not good company right now."

Hermione embraced Harry, who felt utterly paralyzed. He didn't hold her, he didn't even breathe.

She whispered in his ear, "I'm your friend, Harry, and I don't care if you aren't good company, but I still think you need to talk. You can't keep it all inside."

Hermione stepped back a fraction, her hands still on his shoulders, and looked him sincerely in the eye. His green eyes were filling with tears as one lonely drop descended down his face. Hermione could tell he was fighting not to cry.

They stood silently for a moment, while he was struggling to say something, and in the end he almost whispered, "I'm doomed, Hermione."

'What did he mean by that?'

"What…?" she questioned. He didn't give her time to speak; he embraced her and started to cry softly in her arms, all his defences were gone.

***

I can't remember how long he cried, embracing me like I was the only salvation he had. Somehow I knew I had to be strong and brave for him, and do what I must. After hearing about the prophecy I felt I understood something: We are not so important, its just Harry, because he is our one salvation.

***

Harry needed time for recovery and composure. Afterwards he began to talk about Sirius, and everything that had happened. When he started to speak about the events in Dumbledore's office he broke off.

"Did you already know this?" he asked.

She denied with a gesture, "Go on, I don't want to interrupt you."

Harry continued about the prophecy and told Hermione what Dumbledore concluded from everything, "I shall be either a murderer or victim."

He concluded at that, and waited for a response from Hermione, who was thinking deeply.

"It's a very heavy burden."

That was all she could say in the end; she felt so useless for not having a solution.

Harry nodded serenely as he stared to the ground. Hermione looked at Harry as he raised his gaze. That was when she was struck with the intensity of the emotions she saw.

His eyes were full of pain; his anger had diminished, but he was also lost, pleading for a way out. Hermione simply took his hand and held it lovingly, not eluding his eyes.

"Harry, don't worry, we'll be by your side," she reassured, "he won't harm you."

His eyes were hypnotizing her; was he coming nearer? She noticed his expression had changed, "Hermione," he was captivated too, "I -"

She didn't allow him to finish, and launched into a kiss.

Gradually the kisses became deeper, and more passionate. Harry removed the hair away from Hermione's neck, and begun to kiss her gently, it made her breathe harder. She felt the need to kiss him; with her tongue, she searched for his lips and his taste.

There was something in the back of Hermione's head. Ron had asked her out, 'He'll hate Harry if he knew...' Hermione panicked inside.

"What's wrong?" he asked with his glasses mildly askew.

"I'm so happy," she lied, and then she kissed him again.

They spent the night in intimacy, very close, as though they were afraid of separating. Finally Harry fell asleep on Buckbeak back. He dreamt of Ron being happy for them; he dreamt of holding Hermione in the owlery, their kisses in the dark, of Sirius and his parents by his side…

***

I kiss him again, very softly. 'Is that a smile? No, it can't be, shouldn't be, he's sleeping.'

'You don't need more troubles, nor to lose a friend because of me. You'll never know, so it won't hurt, and I will never tell you about it.'

I point my wand at him and say: "Obliviate!"

2. What matters and what does not 02

Please don't think of me,
If you do you gotta block it,
I got chills tonight,
And you can't be here to stop it.

Maybe in another life,
We wouldn't be alone tonight.

If it's hurting you - Robbie Williams

What matters and what does not (02/02)

Harry and Ron are laughing, loud enough for Snape to take points from Gryffindor. It's healing to see them like that.

***

Ron and Ginny arrived just after dawn. Tired, I opened the door and told them Harry was still asleep. Ginny looked at me vaguely, it made me wonder. I must have looked awful: I hadn't combed my hair and, there were probably rings under my eyes; I hadn't slept at all.

I was so tired, luckily, Ginny offered to prepare breakfast. Ron greeted me with a hug and then he tried to kiss me. Harry's kisses were too recent, so I subtly avoided him.

The kitchen table had a fine layer of dust, and that confirmed to me that it had been a long time since Lupin or the Order used the house. Ron and I cleaned while Ginny cooked. The smell of food bought a sudden hunger to my stomach; I didn't eat dinner last night.

When everything was almost ready, Harry appeared, stretching profusely. I don't know why, but he resembled an uncombed kitty. He looked calm and self-confident…

A small voice peaked in the back of my head, 'I hope the charm worked.'

Harry caught my eye and smiled at me furtively, 'Why is he smiling that way?' I looked at him with a worried glance, but he wasn't glazing at me. He seemed shy; I think Ginny saw him smiling. 'You're getting paranoid,' I said to myself, 'he remembers nothing.'

Harry was devouring the food, whilst I was pretending the opposite; eating bit by bit, trying not to make it too obvious that I was as hungry as he was.

"I'm glad you like it," said Ginny smiling, as if she knew something was going on.

"What are we going to do today?" asked Ron.

Before anybody else answered, I voiced an opinion, "I thought we could go to Diagon Alley." I still believed we needed to get Harry out of the house.

"It's okay with me, but I would like to see Buckbeak beforehand." Ron stood, smiling, "Are you coming, Harry?" Without an answer, he took Harry's robes in hand and pulled.

Harry denied with a gesture. "mm eetin," he spoke stiffly. Ron winked, and made a gesture with his head so Harry would follow him.

I had a feeling Ron wanted to tell him we were dating. "I'm sure he feels lonely," Ron spoke slowly, and winked once more. Finally, Harry understood Ron wanted to talk to him; privately. Harry gulped down his remaining food, and followed Ron out of the room.

***

As soon as they left I tried to concentrate on food, but I was no longer hungry. When we couldn't hear their footsteps, Ginny closed the door and spoke brazenly.

"What happened with Harry?"

I looked at her in a surprised manner. "Nothing," I denied.

"I'm not a fool. Just because my brother isn't noticing doesn't mean you have the right to-"

"Ginny," I interrupted, "you know I love your brother. I would never hurt him…"

'I can't believe she thinks I'm playing with Ron's feelings!'

"Did you kiss?"

I didn't expect such a direct question, so I avoided her gaze. I didn't want to be judged; I was too conscious of what I'd done.

"But he doesn't know," I began to doubt for a moment, "I think."

"Was he asleep?" Ginny scrutinized my face and then an idea struck her. "No… You wouldn't have," she waited for me to deny what she was thinking; but I didn't. "Did you… Obliviate?" I could tell from her face she was disconcerted.

Before I could answer, the boys came back. I noticed something was wrong with Harry's expression, but I didn't dare ask.

I was hoping Ginny wouldn't say anything; she seemed to have a very lifeless expression on her face. Ron sat down by my side and caressed my hair. That gesture in a different moment in time would have calmed me; instead, it increased my misery.

***

"…I would have Owled you, but I wanted to tell you in person." Ron was cheerfully talking to Harry, "We wanted you to know that we're not going to put you aside, you're still our friend." I couldn't help but shudder.

Harry looked at me. "I have something to tell you." There was a deep disappointment in his gaze.

"What's wrong?" said Ginny in a soft voice.

Harry was standing, staring at us fixedly. I recognized that stare. Ginny looked doubtfully at me, I pleaded to her with a silent gape.

I could see, like the previous night, Harry had doubts. I felt the impulse of embracing him, and for a second I felt my arms around his shoulders.

"The prophecy," he said.

I tried not to show what I was thinking, 'Don't. Harry, don't go through this again.'

Harry spoke once more about the prophecy and the conversation with Dumbledore. I became more and more tense as Ron continued stroking my hair. I could no longer stand it anymore, so I put my hair back brusquely and make a bun with the help of a quill.

Harry stopped speaking. Ron looked at me wondering, but said nothing.

"I'm sorry," I muttered as I felt a turn in my stomach. Harry was staring at me intensely, startled. I looked back at him while I hid my hands under the table; they were shaking.

"You were saying…" spoke Ginny, as she took the quill from my hair, "its better this way."

Harry composed himself, and began to speak, looking towards me. I started to wonder if the charm had really worked. It wasn't that I was nervous. I was just sure he knew.

"…That the prophecy could have applied to two boys. One was me. The other was Neville." The previous night he had used the same words.

Ron looked relieved, "Then maybe it's not you. Neville seems to be improving a lot," he pointed out.

"No, Ron, there's no doubt. Voldemort marked me. I must kill him"

***

'I don't feel like going to Diagon Alley at all. I feel like being alone. I don't want to see any of their faces. And I would like to tell Harry, be embraced by him, tight, and everything would be all right.'

Standing in my room, I was finding what I needed, not much really; some money, my cloak and my wand.

I heard the door knock behind me, and ignored it. I wasn't ready to see anyone.

"Hermione?"

I turned slowly to see Ginny. "Yes?" I wanted to ask if she had told anything to Ron or Harry, but something in her face told me she didn't.

"Are you ready?" I shrank my shoulders. 'not really' I thought, 'however, what does it matter? We have to go.'

"Did you know about the prophecy?" Ginny asked.

"Yes," I admitted, "he told me yesterday. That's why I erased his memory. He's very important, and that makes our problems insignificant. Ron and I are just as important to help Harry to vanquish Voldemort and to help him remain alive after that battle."

Ginny gave me an unsettled look before she trailed out the room.

***

"I don't think this is a good idea."

It was the second time I had said it, but Harry was taking no notice. In fact, he hadn't talked to me since we left the kitchen. He had the Floo powder flask and he was ready to use it.

"Wait," Ginny stopped him, "let Ron and I go first, it's safer."

Ron agreed. Since Harry had talked about the Prophecy he assumed he now played a big brother role. "When we arrive, I'll stick out my head to confirm you that the coast is clear."

"All right," Harry didn't look convinced.

Ron and Ginny entered the fireplace. "Diagon Alley!" And they had disappeared in a cloud of ashes.

As soon as they left, Harry spoke, "Do you know I've been practicing Occlumency during the summer?"

"That's good," I said with a light smile, "that way Voldemort won't be able to use you." I began to feel I couldn't breathe; this assertion was not casual at all.

Harry had a frozen smirk. "I guess that's the problem, everybody uses me and decides for me, don't you think, Hermione?

'He knows.'

My hands were shaking again, but this time I couldn't hide them under the table,

"Harry -"

"I though I had dreamt about it… Until I saw this," he withdrew my hair from my neck; I couldn't help but shiver. He pointed at a slight bruising, "I did this to you, didn't I?"

I hadn't seen my neck, though I could imagine what he was pointing at. I felt a lump in my throb, and tears appearing. "You don't understand."

"Explain it; it's the least you owe me." He crossed his arms and looked at me impassively. "Then we'll talk about what you owe to Ron."

"No, we have to talk about him now, too." Harry's features stiffened and he set his jaw. 'I would like to be close to him and embrace him… Nevertheless, that would only complicate things.'

"I never thought you'd be capable of it; you betray him and then you erase my memory so I say nothing." The words thrust into me one by one; I made a great effort not to cry, all I could do was divert my gaze.

"I did it for you," I told him. He had a slight smirk. "I think you need our support to defeat Voldemort. You have a too big responsibility to lose Ron's friendship, maybe it is selfish, but I want to be your friend. I think you need all of us by your side, Harry."

Talking hurt too much, but I needed to go on, "I don't know what you remember of that dream, but what happened last night was very important to me. And if I could change the prophecy and make Ron understand what occurred…" It didn't matter what I said, he'd got a right not to believe me.

My voice began trembling, moreover, I didn't know if what I was saying made any sense. "Maybe I shouldn't have gone out with Ron, and it was stupid to lie him, use you, and decide for you…" I sighed and looked him gently in the eye. "I couldn't help it. I'm sorry; I've tried to arrange things so everything remained like nothing had taken place. I wanted to wait a couple of days and break up with Ron; without a drama… I wanted to remain friends…" Harry just stared blandly. "Tell me what you want me to do," I told him.

Harry didn't answer; I don't know what he was thinking. All I knew was that I had to turn so he wouldn't see me crying.

I heard footsteps behind me; I felt Harry's hand in my pocket. I didn't move. He grabbed my wand and placed it in my hand, held my arms and made me turn, slowly. I felt like a little girl… He softly held my hand, which was holding the wand, and pointed it at himself. I raised my eyes and glanced at him, he didn't look angry any longer.

His lips moved without making any sound, "Finite Incantatum," and he repeated it when he saw the surprise on my face. "I think I have the right to remember what happened, and not to think it was a dream," he told me.

"Hermione!" Ginny's head has just appeared in the fireplace.

"Calm down, Ginny, everything is all right," Harry tranquilised her.

"You can come; there is nothing to worry about."

"Why did it take you so long?" I asked; I still felt that it might not be safe.

"Because I thought you would like to talk, and I've sent Ron to inspect exhaustively some shops to verify there is no danger. It will take him five more minutes. Don't linger," Ginny's head disappeared and Harry looked at me amazed.

"You told her?"

"She guessed," I looked at the fireplace and thanked her in silence for these moments.

Harry held my hand again; my pulse began to race, and I couldn't help a little smile. He pointed at himself with my wand once again.

Though I had doubts I said, "Finite Incantatum"

He opened his eyes very wide and threw his head back. For a second I thought something had gone wrong. I embraced him instinctively. "Harry!"

Harry recovered and looked at me sweetly; this is yesterday's Harry…

"Hermione…" He leaned towards me, but I couldn't allow it, though I yearned for it. I put two fingers on his lips, shushing him.

"No, Harry, you know it can't be, at least for now," he kissed my fingers and I wanted to die, "We have to go."

"At least for now…" He repeated, "When…?"

"When Ron can understand it, and when I'm sure I won't distract you from your mission"

He moved away from me and walked towards the fireplace with a hesitant look. "Will you stay by my side?" he asked.

"I'll always be by your side," I assured him, as I entered the fireplace. He joined me and squeezed my hand.

As he turned to me he smiled hastily. I noticed there was a tear trapped in his glasses.

Squeezing my hand back, he spoke, "To Diagon Alley!"

***

Today Ron has talked to me while Harry wasn't around. It's a big improvement from last month behaviour. Ginny has helped me a lot with him, and yesterday night, in the Common Room she told me why she has helped me so often, 'I would have done the same', she said.

3. Epilogue

Love, I don't like to see so much pain,
So much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away,
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival,
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive.

In your eyes – Peter Gabriel

What matters and what does not
Epilogue

St Mungo’s. The last place I would want someone I love to be with me; Ron and Harry still have to remain there. I stride the corridors desperately looking for the room, cursing again and again about the Ministry bureaucrats that have kept me back 5 hours testifying. Ginny was luckier and she managed to leave earlier to see her brother.

Voldemort had shot the curse against Harry, but Ron who is used to flying at the Quaffle, had knocked down Harry just enough to receive the worst part himself. Ginny and I, the baits, had witnessed the scene from a green bubble, where the air was increasingly asphyxiating, till we fell unconscious.

At last I see a crowd of redheads in one room. Mrs. Weasley is the first to catch my eye and embrace me.

“Hermione!” I embrace her back trying to distinguish the patients but my tears don’t allow me to see anything.

***

When we arrived to Diagon Alley, Ginny was waiting for us: Ron wasn’t back yet from the intensive patrol his sister had hurl him to do.

When I felt my feet touch the ground I let go of Harry’s hand instinctively and I didn’t look in his direction. I knew I couldn’t glance at him without fixing my eyes in his and slid them down to his lips. And as I had been telling myself for some hours now, there were more important things.

“Could you two go and see if there’s a new broom model?” I spoke staring at Ginny and thinking about Ron who hadn’t come back yet. She nodded but Harry entered in my vision.

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to talk to Ron. I’ve to tell him what has happened.” I pondered before continuing, “I know you wouldn’t like to hide something like this. You cannot lie.”

I felt guilty because I expected Harry to tell me that Ron didn’t need to know about it, that it could be a secret; that we could lie to him.

“No. We have to talk to him.”

“Harry, I don’t…” I broke off, because in that moment I saw Ron appear.

“Everything’s ok.” He smiled at me and said, “What are you forbidding Harry to do?” His tone was half serious, half joke.

“To go to Quality Quidditch Supplies, he wanted to go with me.” Ginny was faster than me with her answer; I faltered a word that corroborated her story, while I wished Harry to understand that I had to do this alone.

“Please...” I whispered to Harry while I pushed him towards Ginny

Ron patted Harry’s back and winked at him while he spoke, “Remember you play Quidditch better than Dean Thomas.”

‘Very subtle, Ron,’ I thought. And I noticed that I was jealous, no matter how much Ginny had helped me. “Let’s go to have a Butterbeer,” was what I said in the end.

***

Fred and George inform me because their mother is incapable to do so at the moment. She can only cry whilst holding her husband.

It seems that Ron is the gravest of them both, though they are motionless alike in their beds. They are under an induced sleep. Harry has a severe burn on his shoulder and Ron has it on his chest. They are magical wounds that tend to extend if they are not treated properly, so Ron’s could reach his heart quickly. But first they have to have their bodies prepared for them to resist the treatment.

I hold Ginny’s hand; none of us can stop staring at the patients.

***

Seated in front of the Butterbeer bottles Ron had insisted to pay, I breathed, looked him in the eye and I spoke, “Ron, there’s something you should know. It’s very important”.

He glanced at the Leaky Cauldron clients suspiciously and whispered, “Is it related to Harry or… the Prophecy?”

“Somehow yes, with its importance in our lives… But this is mainly about us.”

That took him by surprise. “Us? What?”

“I need you to listen to what I’m going to tell you and don’t interrupt me.” I didn’t know how I was going to do that, but I realized I had to do it carefully. Ron’s face showed a rising concern.

“All right, what happened?”

“Yesterday… I…” starting was really difficult, “I want you to understand that I’m going to tell you the truth.” Then I had a silly idea: “Promise me you’ll stay until I have told you everything.”

Ron nodded. His expression showed that he was certain that something was wrong; really wrong.

“Harry told me yesterday about the prophecy.” I broke off a second to take in air again, I felt it leaking; I was suffocating and wasn’t able to speak. Ron was staring at me expecting my words. “He was really down.” I didn’t want to tell him Harry had been crying; it looked like betraying Harry’s confidence. “I embraced him… and well…” I stopped again to breathe.

“Well what?” Ron started to suspect what part of the story was related to “us”,“I kissed him.” His face was distraught like when he thought Harry had lied to him and had put his name in the goblet. “It was my fault. He didn’t even know we were dating.”

“Can I leave now?” He didn’t bother to look at me while asking.

“I haven’t finished. Ron, I just beg you to understand that he wasn’t guilty at all.” I read doubt in his eyes but I kept on talking, “Later, when I realized what I had done…”

“Later…” he interrupted me. I couldn’t blame him.

“I hexed him.” He looked at me horrified. “I used Obliviate.”

“A what? Why?”

“Because he knew nothing about us dating, and when you found out you’d stop speaking to him. And he needs you. After the prophecy, he needs all the help we can offer, instead of being worried because you won’t talk to him.”

“So he recalls nothing?” He was still looking at me disgusted, but at least he was talking to me.

“Yes, he does. The charm didn’t work completely because he’s been practicing Occlumancy and he’s obliged me to reverse it… He wanted to talk to you with me, but it was my fault and I think I’m the only one who should pay for it.” I was firm; I had to make clear that Harry needed him; that was the only important thing.

“Are you defending him?”

“I know it looks like it, but Ron, look at me.” he did so with lack of interest. “Do you really think that he would have betrayed you, his best friend, like that?”

He diverted his gaze and concentrated on his Butterbeer bottle. After a while he answered, “I never thought you’d do something like that.”

I had no answer. I don’t think I have it today.

“Don’t be unfair with him, please, the prophecy…” He interrupted me with a gesture while he stood. And he walked away without looking at me, grabbing his bottle.

***

A witch with lime-green robes enters and walks towards Ron.

“You may stay in the room during the cure but, would you mind to leave your wands outside the room? They might interfere with the treatment.”

All of us go out and give them to a House Elf that is standing in the corridor with a silver tray.

The first thing I see when I go back to the room is an ice beam coming out from the healer’s wand. When it touches Ron’s chest it expands on the surface of the burn and then is suddenly absorbed by his skin while light whirls of steam arise.

***

I wandered through the alley avoiding the Quidditch supplies shop and any other I suspected Ron might be inside. After strolling in shops where people whispered and spoke about Voldemort, where people were scared of watching alerted ministry officers patrolling around, I decided I didn’t want to be alone and journeyed to the Quidditch shop.

From the shop window I saw Ginny inspecting a broom while Ron and Harry were playing carelessly with a bludger under the frown of the salesman. ‘How long had they been on the shop?’ But Harry and Ron were smiling, and that partially took a burden from me, and bolstered me to join them.

Ginny told me later what had happened. It seems that Harry, when he saw Ron, asked him if he had talked to me and how he felt. Ron said, to his sister’s surprise, that it wasn’t important because we didn’t date for a long time. He added I had been a fool for hexing Harry and that did make him angry.

It was probably a memorable performance, because Harry needed a couple of weeks to discover that Ron wouldn’t speak to me.

***

She’s been applying ice to Ron for two hours and the burn has diminished significantly. After Ron’s treatment, another healer came to care for Harry; his burns had advanced to his neck. Five minutes ago they’ve left, assuring us that the patients are going to be fine, but they need to stop the cure for a while or they might freeze their tissues. Over the wounds they’ve conjured a blue mist to avoid the advance of the curse; it would help to maintain a low temperature. Both of them are conscious now, but very weak indeed.

“Voldemort?” asks Ron. There’s a general twitch in the room.

“I finished him off,” mutters Harry, turning his head to his friend and startled when he sees Ron’s burn, reduced to a half of what it was a couple of hours ago. “Thanks Ron.”

Ron smiles weakly and glances at Ginny and me. “Are you ok?” We nod.

Harry’s gaze has turned to the window and he’s lost in his thoughts. He looks miserable.

I think I know what is bothering him. “You had to do it. There was no other way.”

“Yes,” he mutters, “sure.”

“Hermione,” says Ron softly, “I think the boy deserves a prize.”

While I turn to Ron with a surprised look, I’m more than certain, that I’ve turned pale.

“Come on.” declares Ron with more strength, “I’ve been observing you looking each other for two years. Stop it. I don’t care anymore, really.”

I look at Harry worried. ‘What if his feelings have changed?’ He smiles at me and says, “Thanks Ron, for everything.” I feel relieved.

Now there’s only one thing that matters. I smile and forget the room is full of Weasleys, to me there’s just he and I. I draw closer to him and kneel in the floor by his side. I brush his frozen lips with mine and I feel he’s shivering slightly.

“I’m all right,” he assures. And he places his palm on my face, touching my cheek with his thumb. He draws me towards him with more strength than I would expect and kisses me.

When we separate I notice my lips are frozen too, and I hear the twins laughing. “Hermione, he’s supposed to be cold, that’s not helping!”