Hues

Hues

1: green

jealousy

I’m in love again, but you still can’t give your peace to me.

PJ Harvey

In the 1150s, a famous arithmancer, Runback Lockjack discovered the magical properties of the number s 4, 9, and 7—

Seven.

Seven.

Sev—

“Trouble in paradise?”

Hermione Granger looked up from her Arithmancy homework to see Hannah Abbott slide into the seat across from her. She tried to ignore her, but she seemed to be stuck on the same damn sentence for the last damn hour. She sighed and gave up.

“Why do you say that?”

Her friend gave her an exasperated glare and grabbed her quill right out of her hand. “Well, I don’t know. Quidditch match against Slytherin in twenty minutes. Your seeker boyfriend’s on the Quidditch team… super hunky, star-quality boyfriend, I might add.”

“Well, why don’t you date him then?” She snapped, slamming her textbook shut. Tension seemed to invade her body. She was still waiting for a headache to make its presence known.

Hannah’s eyes widened and then narrowed. “Is he being an idiot, then? ‘Cause I swear if he’s being an idiot, I’ll-”

“No,” Hermione cut her off. She cracked a small smile at her friend’s overprotective ranting. “No, he’s being perfect.”

Hannah threw her hands up. “So then what’s the bloody problem? You’re the damn it couple of Hogwarts. And you’ve been happier than I’ve seen you in a long time. I don’t understand… what’s changed?”

She shook her head, frustrated. “I don’t expect you to understand. Hannah, I adore you to death, but you expect what everyone else expects.”

Hermione paused and let out a shaky sigh. “Everyone expects fireworks and obsessive snogging and a timeless love affair. And how can I do that when my bloody boyfriend spends more fucking time worrying about Ginny’s relationship with Draco *fucking* Malfoy?”

“So this is what it’s about,” Hannah murmured. “Harry and Ginny’s close relationship…”

Guilty as charged.

She waited for the jealousy is stupid speech. But instead, Hannah gave a smile and leaned forward. “Nice use of the f-word by the way.”

Hermione rolled her eyes and bit back tears of frustration. “I feel so bloody stupid,” she murmured. “Because I am jealous. But then it’s more than that. Han, I have yet to have a first date. Sure, there’s the kisses and the I-love-you’s… It’s like he’s avoiding the entire concept of a relationship. Every thing’s so hollow almost… It’s been a month since we’ve been seeing each other and we’ve spent no time together. And then you and I are going to Paris to see my grandmother on Christmas holiday.”

Hannah shook her head. “Wait a minute, I’m still stuck on this Harry and Ginny complex you have. Shouldn’t you be jealous of his broomstick instead?”

A grin broke onto her lips and she laughed. “You’re not helping.”

Hannah shrugged, brushing Hermione’s stolen quill against her book. “I got you to laugh, didn’t I? But seriously, you’ve got to give Wonder Boy the benefit of the doubt. First off, he’s a guy and that in itself is a problem.”

She snorted.

Hannah grinned and continued. “Secondly, the Ginny thing. So what if they used to date? She and Malfoy seem to be happy in their torrid love affair. Besides Ginny and Potter are closer because well, they dated for one and some people are lucky to still be friends with their ex. And also, you and Harry weren’t exactly two peas in a pod in our sixth year. The point is, you’re not going to have a relationship full of hot and sweaty sex, automatically. You’ve still got to smooth those kinks and bumps over. Besides if life were eternally perfect, I’d be shagging Oliver Wood.”

Hermione rolled her eyes and leaned forward on her chin tiredly. “You’re right.”

“You bloody bet I’m right. He’s in love with you. An idiot can even see it. I still think you should be worried about the boy’s attachment to his broomstick. It’s unhealthy, I tell you.”

“I’m frightened by your broomstick fascination.”

Hannah grinned. “It’s from dating too many Ravenclaws. Boys in Hufflepuff are boring as it is.”

She laughed. “I don’t even know why I’m taking you on holiday with me.”

“Because I’m cute and you adore me?”

“You’re insane.”

“I blame that on my mother,” Hannah said with a smirk. Her expression grew serious. “Are you sure you want me to come?”

She shook her head. “You shouldn’t be asking me that question. You’re my friend, Han. You and Padma have seen me through some tough times. Maybe this— Maybe I…”

She sighed and started over. “I’m in love, Hannah. There’s no denying that fact. I’m in love with him some much so that it hurts to breathe. But maybe we’re not ready for this. Maybe I’m not ready to reveal myself.”

“You’re not giving yourself any credit, Duchess,” Hannah protested. “It’s gotta be simple…”

She shook her head. “But it’s not. It’s complicated.” She glanced at her watch. “The game starts soon.”

“You look exhausted,” Hannah mused. “You worry too damn much. Go back to your rooms. It’s not going to kill Harry if you miss one game. The Cup games aren’t until after spring holiday anyways. And that’s a looooong time…”

“I’m exhausted because talking to you is emotionally draining,” she responded dryly. “But I have to go, I promised—“

Hannah shook her head and grabbed her by the hand, pulling her up. “No excuses, love. I’ll owl your mum, your grandmum, and Mrs. Weasley if I have to.”

Hermione complied rather reluctantly, gathering her books together and following her friend. She was exhausted from talking. Maybe sleep was a good thing…

Or maybe it wasn’t.

She was still plagued by a certain question from the back of her mind.

Was she stupid for having any doubts?

**

The Rather Long and Boring Author’s Notes:

It took some convincing, but I finally caved into writing a sequel to Unravelings. Frankly, I was overwhelmed by the response to it. I couldn’t believe that many people enjoyed. Let’s hope my professor feels the same way about my thesis paper tomorrow… *gulps*. Only three more pages left…

Anyhow, this should be a much longer series. I’m actually shooting for seven to eight parts but we’ll see how it turns out. It should be a fun ride.

Special thanks to Sarah for taking on the dreaded task of trying to understand the complex working of my mind and beta reading this thang. And to my professor for moving up the due date for my rough draft for my thesis, the paper I should be finishing.

Until the next part!

Kaze

H U E S

2: yellow

FAITHLESS

et quand le jour arrive

la tourner el ciel

et la tourner la mer

et la mer eh ven embrasse moi

et la deneh ve moi logis

a rien pa peut arrete moi

nin, la mer

[Italics] dream indication

It was cold and dark and she felt so lost. The moonlight from the small window snuck in and kissed her trembling form, revealing the torn uniform and the blood caked from her wound in her side. She had long given up hope that this was a terrible, terrible dream.

“Loving him will kill you, foolish little girl. Will you even risk your sanity?”

She said nothing, ignoring the quiet jeer laced in her captor’s voice.

“He will never come,” the laughing whisper teased in a phantom caress.

She looked up, her empty eyes glittering in the dark. “So just kill me then.”

Hermione flew up with a startled gasp, her blankets falling around her. Her heart was pounding and she struggled to breathe, her hand clutching her blouse. A sob tore through her throat.

“Shhh… Breathe Hermione… Come on, just breathe.”

She was pulled into a warm embrace, a wave of comfort settling upon her shoulders easing her struggle. Harry…

“That’s it, love,” came a soothing murmur.

“Harry?” She mumbled, still in her nightmare-induced trance.

“Yeah,” he responded. “You’re having nightmares again?”

“I’m fine,” she replied automatically, in defense. She pushed away from him, moving off her bed. She couldn’t tell him. What would he say if he really knew? She watched as his eyes narrowed and his gaze darkened.

“You’re not fine,” he spoke, grabbing her wrist. “You weren’t at the Quidditch match like you said you were going to be.”

Hermione whirled around, still filled with tension from her nightmare. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Harry snapped, frustration laced in his voice. “It means that you were supposed to be at the damn match. Bloody hell, what’s with the attitude?”

“Oh, so I have to be like Cho, Susan, and Ginny,” she sneered. “Perfect girlfriends who doted on your every need and request! You know that I’m not that kind of girl.”

“No, I don’t know what kind of girl you are. I don’t think I even knew you to begin with. At least, I knew Ginny, Susan, and Cho.”

Hermione swallowed, his words piercing through her carefully constructed walls. “So we’re back to this again,” she murmured quietly. “Maybe I’m not the girl for you then.”

She grabbed her sweatshirt from under Crookshanks and hurried out of her room, leaving a startled Harry Potter behind.

**

“I feel like such an ass,” Harry muttered as he and Ron made their way out of the Great Hall.

Ron smacked him on the shoulder.

“That’s the smartest thing you’ve said today, mate,” Ron replied with a lop-sided grin. “Minnie’s probably going through it as well, you know…”

“She’ll kill you if she knew you were calling her Minnie again,” Neville Longbottom interrupted, a smiling Ginny and a smirking Draco Malfoy at his side.

“I’ll kick your ass, Neville,” Ron replied.

“And I’ll pay several galleons to see that, Weasley,” Draco added.

“Sod off,” Ron responded.

Ginny rolled her eyes. “Not if she kicks yours first, Ron. All right, Harry?”

He shrugged. “I guess.”

Ginny’s eyes widened in concern. “Aww, you and Hermione had your first fight. Don’t worry, she’ll get over it-”

“With a couple of good snogs,” Draco supplied.

“Idiot,” Ginny said, smacking him upside the head. She turned back to Harry. “What happened?”

“She wasn’t at the match,” she began. “And I went to our quarters and found her sleeping.”

“What kind of girlfriend is she?”

Ginny shot Draco a look and murmured, “And you became angry.”

He nodded. “I was frustrated from almost losing to ferret face and his merry band of idiots.”

“Hey!”

Ron laughed and Neville chuckled.

“Watch it,” Ginny snapped. “Ferret face is my boyfriend.”

Harry shrugged carelessly and continued. “She was having a nightmare, Gin. I’ve never seen her like this. She was vulnerable and upset and I was scared… And, well, I’m never in control of my emotions.”

“Harry…”

“She’s being selfish and stupid. She should tell me these things. I want to he-”

“Stop it.”

Ginny gasped and Neville stumbled forward. Ron’s jaw dropped and Hannah’s eyes closed as if she were waiting for a volcanic explosion. Even Malfoy had gone white. He, on the other hand, he had forgotten how to breathe. And the bloody room wouldn’t stop spinning.

Hermione was angry.

Angry.

She was angry at him.

He looked up slowly, intending on apologizing for being an idiot and saying things that he really hadn’t meant. But with the chilling intensity of her eyes, his lips could not form any words.

“Hermione,” Ron tried in an honest attempt to calm the situation.

But she shook her head. “I’m done. I wash my hands clean of this.”

It was then he realized that there were tears in her eyes. She licked her lips and a trembling sigh escaped. She was shutting him out and that was something he couldn’t bear to let happen. HE couldn’t even form words to say anything, just a hollow sound at the back of his throat.

He stepped forward, intending on forming contact but she stepped back next to Hannah.

“You can’t mean that,” he whispered hoarsely. “Hermione…”

She said nothing, her fists clenched tightly at her sides. The emotions in her eyes were endless, amber pools he would willingly drown himself in.

He tried again. “I didn’t mean it.”

She shook her head. “It’s over and I’m done.”

And he was lost.

**

Author’s Note

For Pen, whose "Rectify the situation immediately. I will not have their relationship in shambles!" made me laugh. What kind of sadistic authoress would I be if I did that?

Thanks guys for review and keep it up! My ego needs to be fed.

Hues

3: gray

misery and confusion

All evidence has been buried.

All tapes have been erased.
But your footprints
give you away so
you're backtracking

Radiohead

[bold italic]: flashbacks

“Why won’t he talk to me, Ron? Is it because I can’t handle it? Is it because all of a sudden our friendship means absolutely nothing to him?”

Her head hurt and her eyes itched. She was starting to feel dizzy. What was he thinking going into battle like that? Did the boy have a death wish? Did he think that none of them cared?

“Hermione,” Ron began.

Her eyes widened. “You knew. You knew! Let me guess, Ginny knew too.”

“Don’t start, Hermione,” he warned. “She’s my sister and your friend. Don’t blame other people for your fallen relationship with Harry. You-”

“You’re being stupid.”

Her patience was wearing thin. It seemed like the ninetieth time Hannah had repeated that phrase. Couldn’t they just leave her to wallow in her own bloody misery?

“Did you hear me, Hermione? Stupid. S-T-U-P-“

“-Seventh circle, what the bloody hell does the seventh circle mean? Why did I let Pavarti talk me into sticking with Divinations?”

Were the both of them trying to do this on purpose?

“Hermione, are you listening? You’re about to throw away the best thing that’s ever happened to you and I’m-”

That’s it!

“-Seventh circle… Isn’t that the Muggle book about hell? What does this have to do with-”

Hermione finally stood up, slamming her book down with a fierce echo. Both Hannah and Padma watched their friend with mouths wide open. She shrugged and gathered her books, murmuring a quiet goodbye. She threw her sack of books over her shoulder and ran a hand through her tangled curls.

She was being stupid.

She was being stupid and she knew it. She didn’t need Hannah to tell her three million times a day or Ginny to send reprimanding glances her way every time they were in the same room. Even Ron had taken it upon himself to attempt to play therapist. She was being stupid and she knew it, but she wasn’t the kind of girl that everyone expected her to be.

She had expectations. Expectations made her paranoid and left a horrible feeling inside her, a bitter taste when she felt like she had to please everybody. She was so used to dealing with things on her own, so used to being strong for herself. How could she rely on other people?

It went beyond the expectations and the bad memories, she was angry because her life had suddenly spun so deeply out of her control. She was being selfish and stupid, when she knew all she had to do was talk. Harry would listen, she knew he would. But would he understand?

~*~*~

“Hermione,” he pleaded. “Please talk to me.”

But he was only greeted by silence. She stood at the window, still clad in her hospital gown with her hair falling against her shoulders in tangled waves. Perhaps he deserved this; perhaps this was Fate’s way of saying that he had been wrong all along. He had only wanted to protect her…

“Hermione…”

“You just missed her, Harry,” Hannah Abbott’s voice rang across the near empty library. He turned to see both Hannah and Padma watching him with indifferent eyes.

“I didn’t say I who was looking for, Abbott,” he snapped, angry at the girl’s audacity in sticking her nose into his business. It obviously didn’t help that she knew more about what was going on than he did.

All he wanted to do was talk to Hermione, his girlfriend and his best friend. This was getting to the point where all of the sudden everyone else was becoming involved instead of the two of them.

“No need to get nasty,” she responded with her hands held up. “I was going to say that you could most likely find her in the Room of Requirement or her rooms because those are the only places we seem to find her these days.”

“Oh,” he murmured, bewildered at the fact that there was no you don’t deserve her or she can do better than you. “Thanks, I think.”

“Don’t thank me, I just want her to be happy. A smile from Hermione’s a rare occurrence, but I sure as hell don’t want them to become extinct. Although I have a less imposing friendship with Hermione than you and Ron do, I do know how to appreciate her.”

Harry whirled around to face Hannah. He was sick of this, sick of whirling around in circles and people trying to stick their noses where they didn’t belong. This was between him and Hermione and no one else. Who did she think she was?

“Look Hannah-”

But it was Padma that stepped forward. “No you look here, Potter. I’m not one to dwell on the past or anything, but you and Duchess are long overdue for a talk that the both of you should have had ages ago. This is getting ridiculous. So go talk to her, but don’t screw up.”

“Screw up what,” he finally exploded. “Haven’t I already screwed up?”

“What? Are you going to piss and moan and tell me that this is between you and Hermione? Because frankly, I don’t care! I’m tired of her being sad and I’m tired of you mopping around like the bloody world’s going to end!”

He slammed his fist against the brick wall, cringing as he felt the burning sensation of his skin rubbing against the brick. He blinked as he watched blood began to trickle down his skin.

“Look,” he murmured finally. “I’m sorry. I don’t what I’ll do to fix whatever’s wrong between us, but I’ll fix it.”

He had to. He didn’t want to remember what life was like before Hermione.

~*~*~

Author’s Note:

Wow, thanks guys for all the reviews. I haven’t been called a sadist and evil that many times before. ::grins:: Anyways, yes I’m well aware of the fact that these two chapters are short. I promise you though that next will be ::glances:: much longer and will contain a confrontation and a bit of a explanation, but then again I could decided to go evil and change my mind.

Anyhow, keep those reviews coming!