To See What You See by takerzmuse Rating: PG13 Genres: Angst Relationships: Draco & Ginny Book: Draco & Ginny, Books 1 - 5 Published: 16/11/2003 Last Updated: 16/11/2003 Status: Completed What do you see when you look at me? 1. To See What You See ---------------------- [Title] - To See What You See [Author] - Grasshopper (A.K.A. The Undertaker's Muse) [Email] - uber_bitch13@yahoo.com [Rated] - PG-13 [Warnings] - Angst. [Category] - Harry Potter [Spoilers] - Book two, mainly. The slightest bit for book five; nothing major, though. [Pairings] - Draco Malfoy/Ginny Weasley [Summary] - What do you see when you look at me? [Author's Notes] - This is my first HP fic, so be honest and tell me what you think. I welcome all feedback, including (and especially!) flames. [Disclaimer] - The only think I own is the plot. All things �Harry Potter� belong to J. K. Rowling. Title and lyrics are from �Instead� by Stacie Orrico. *A new point of view A walk in your shoes I wish I could get inside your head To see what you see When you look at me Cause I could�ve lived your life instead* What do you see when you look at me? Do you see �that Weasel girl�? The tagalong little sister, who no one really wants around? Is my Weasley-red hair and ragged Gryffindor robes the only things you see? Is that what makes you turn away in disgust? Or maybe you see �Potter�s little girlfriend�? You know it�s not true, but still continue down that particular path of ridicule. Merlin, I can barely stand to *look* at Harry these days without marveling at my own stupidity. Harry never wanted me, I understood that long ago�but the realization that *I* never really wanted Harry was astounding. By the time I figured that out, I�d wasted a lot of time on him. Luckily, he never seemed to notice *why* I acted the way I did around him. I think Hermione told him, though� I could go into all the ways he�s now more like another brother, but I truly do not wish to bore you any more than I likely will. Perhaps you see me as �Ron�s little sister�? A true statement, I know, but� You seem to dislike Ron even more than you do Harry, and that�s not something I ever believed possible. Ron seems to irritate you on a level that no one else gets to. What did he do to cause that? Not that I don�t think he would or could do something, believe you me I know what my brother�s like, but I wonder� I wonder just what he did to cause that kind of hatred. Am I just another way to get at him? A living, breathing target for your frustrations? Am I �the mudblood�s best friend�? That *isn�t* true, by the way. �Mione, Ron, and Harry are quite happy to spend the rest of their lives looking out for one another in the way only the best of friends do. I� I�m stuck in the category of little sister and friendly acquaintance. She cares for me in her own way, but if it came down to a choice she would choose my brother and Harry over me in an instant. Or maybe� Maybe your disgust comes from the truth. The truth and reality of just who Virginia Anne Weasley is. Who I am now and who I always will be. The truth is, I�m a pureblooded witch. I�m from a rather poor family. I have no particular prejudices; especially not in the case of muggles and muggle-born. I�m a Gryffindor, through and through. I�m�much more than everyone believes me to be. I�m *not* simply the only female among my siblings. I�m *not* just another impulsive Gryffindor. I am *not* to be measured next to the people I�m surrounded by. I am my own person and deserve to be treated with due respect! I am smart, brave, and a damn good Seeker. With so many brothers, I learned to defend myself as well as to hide my emotions. Couldn�t let the twins know how embarrassed I was� Couldn�t let Ron know about my crush on Harry� Couldn�t let Percy know he was a bloody stupid git for hurting Mum and Dad like that� Sorry, I�m getting off topic. I�ll try not to do that again. I could have been in Slytherin, y�know. I should�ve been. If I hadn�t been so worried about my family�s reaction, I never would�ve insisted upon Gryffindor. I wanted to be unique; to be *known*. What better way than for a *Weasley* to be sorted into Slytherin? But I could just hear Mum�s voice, screeching about the indignity of it all. I could see my father�s stern face, letting my know his disappointment by remaining silent. I didn�t care overmuch how my brothers would react, but I knew when Ron found out he�d be absolutely *furious*. At that point, I wasn�t sure enough about myself to take a risk like that. So I joined the ranks of the brave and became a Gryffindor. But I do wonder� I wonder how my first year would�ve gone then, if I *had* been a Slytherin. Would your father still have given me Voldemort�s diary? Would Tom still have used me to do all of those terrible things? Would I still have been everyone�s pawn? Would you have seen me as my own entity, rather than an extension of others? Or would I remain as I am now�a silly little girl not fit to lick the mud from your boots? What a first year I had, eh? Oh, what a silly little girl I was then�smitten with the one person who would *never* notice me, possessed by the teenaged spirit of the Dark Lord, and yet more fodder for your feud with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. I just wish you could have hated me upon my own merit, not because of who I was related to. If I, myself, had done something to truly piss you off, I could have understood�but there was nothing. Nothing at all. So, I�m left to wondering� And wondering isn�t the best thing for a person, you know. It brings so many thoughts to mind that one can�t block out painful memories. It all just bubbles up to the surface and is there for scrutiny. Again, I seem to be getting off the subject. You bring that out in me, I suppose. But I�d best leave things right here, for now. Just one last thing� What do you see when you look at me, Draco? What do you see? **[The End]**