1. Unknown Quotients

Sixth year. Hogwarts. Trying to get rid of writer's block on Music and Merlot, which isn't as much fun now that they've hooked up, sort of. The solution? Write a hooking up story. Duh. Be prepared for denial!Hermione and smug-ish!Harry. The title comes from a song by The Shins. Which sounds silly. And it is. But, listen, I have to work this out, okay?

*wink*

It's finished. No beta,no sleep, please don't think this is appalling. I've adopted things from both canon (some fifth year references) and fanon (prefects having separate bedrooms - the best plot device ever) so bear with me. This is silly and clichŽd and warm and fuzzy-ish and has a lot of ellipses. But this conversation can't go smoothly, obviously. Enough, though. Read on. Reviews make me feel squish. *heart* you for reading.

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Poke.

Even Ron Weasley looked at his best friend a little askew as he held the quill aloft, dipping it each time to make a dimple in the flesh of his other best friend's arm. Harry had been poking Hermione, who was steadfastly ignoring him, for the better part of ten minutes. No one was sure what had happened on that late spring Saturday morning, just that Hermione had come storming in from outside the portrait, looked up at the stairs that led to the prefects' room as if considering her options and then shook her head resolutely. Squaring her shoulders, she sat down at a table and pursed her lips, then proceeded to bury her nose in a book. Which was nothing unusual in itself. Today, though, she had gone through the whole process like a little hurricane, slamming her books on the table until she found the right one. She had then chose to put several other books in front of her, in case no one had come to the conclusion that she wanted to be left alone. Her hair was even more askew than usual and she looked slightly flushed, as if she'd be running a great distance.

Seamus had almost been challenged to a duel when he had walked over and gently removed the book from her hand, almost dropping it when she reached for her wand, but then he saved his skin (probably literally) by politely murmuring that she had the book upside down and setting it softly, with no sudden movements, back in her hands. He got the desired reaction that she put her wand down, but the rest of the baffled Gryffindors were treated to the sight of their normally very composed prefect turning a deep scarlet. Parvati had looked stunned that her boyfriend could be so deferential, but when she asked him about it, all she got was a choked murmur, the only parts of which should could make out were "Hermione" "O.W.L.s" and "man-eating plants". She vaguely remembered an incident at the end of fifth year and made a mental note to ask Hermione how to conjure one of those up, just to have that little extra something on her side when she needed her beloved boyfriend to shut up.

The play had gotten better from there, though, with the addition of their other prefect. (Ron had decided to focus on Quidditch, which loosely meant that he hated being a prefect, what with Hermione always trying to get him to help her with paperwork and whatnot. Besides, he discovered that being out after hours just wasn't as much fun when you had a reason besides snogging.) Harry had sauntered in, an unusual thing for the unassuming boy. Normally he walked, he strolled, but this was a full-on Gilderoy Lockhart saunter. The second odd thing was the smile on his face, which wasn't the usual reserved grin that was there. It was fifty thousand watts of pure charm. Witch Weekly would've gone into double issues. They might still, thanks to Colin Creevey's ever-present camera. He then proceeded to walk over to Hermione's table, eliciting winces from the rest of the assembled students. Hermione may have loved Harry and Ron, but she was obviously in a Mood. And when Hermione was in a Mood, they left her alone. The final act was yet to occur, though.

Placing his hands in between her two stacks of books, he pushed them aside and leaned over the table until he was at eye level with her angry eyes. "You can't leave it at that, Hermione."

He waited a second for a response, and getting none except for the flick of her pupils back down towards her book, proceeded to sit down and start poking her. The rest of the common room was shocked. Parvati and Lavender could barely contain themselves. Even Ginny looked intrigued. First Hermione comes in looking positively apocalyptic and then Harry strolls in looking for all the world like a Niffler in Aladdin's cave and starts making cryptic comments. One after the other, they had entered in the space of five minutes. It couldn't have had anything to do with Ron, he had been here playing Exploding Snap with Dean. Unfortunately, that meant he wasn't good for any information, which left all of them as they were now, poised and waiting. The lines had been drawn. Harry was acting oddly sunny and, one had to admit, reckless and Hermione was in possibly the worst mood anyone had seen her in - any minute now *something* interesting was bound to happen.

When it did, no one could quite believe it. Hermione stood up abruptly, yanked the quill out of Harry's frozen hand and snapped it in half, throwing the pieces at his head, unconcerned about the ink that flew all over the two of them. Yes, the room seemed to agree, she'd reached her threshold. Hermione's former roommates exchanged smug glances that spoke of a million chatty little conversations they'd apparently had in anticipation of this eventuality. Hermione could only go on like she did so long before she snapped. What Harry had done to drive her to the point was a mystery, but they were sure they'd find out soon. Neville Longbottom, on the other hand, had scuttled to the chair closest to the door when she had stood up so quickly. The rest of their bored classmates had collectively looked elsewhere when it started but a casual observer could practically see their ears perking up.

"Leave me alone! I already told you what you wanted to hear, do you want me to tell you again? Color-coded notes, perhaps? Would you like a bloody diagram, Harry Potter?" Hermione's voice was slightly hoarse, as if they'd been shouting earlier as well.

Harry simply smiled. "Not necessary, my dear Hermione. I was just wanting to continue the discussion we were having earlier," here he stopped to look around and an entire room shuffled their eyes elsewhere in a guilty fashion, "but somewhere a little more private."

"I don't have anything else to say." Hermione was back in her chair, perched primly on the edge and obviously gritting her teeth. "If you'd please, I have some studying to do."

"Well," Harry said in a thoughtful sort of tone, "I have some things I'd like to discuss. I guess here is as good a place as any. If you'd like to start right after I got off my broom when you were sitting by that tree, I can remind you where you were. . ." He trailed off as Hermione stood up yet again.

"Fine." Casting a dark look around the room, she started towards the stairs. "My room. I'll take down the wards and you can come up." She sneered at him in a very un-Hermione fashion as she swept up her books.

With that she turned around and stomped up the stairs that led to the dormitories and the prefects' rooms that were situated amongst them, Harry beaming strangely at her retreating back. A moment later they heard the door slamming. Which was apparently Harry's cue to drag Ron into the corner, where there was a whispered consultation. There was a lot of sound from the rustling of papers as everyone tried to pretend that they had reached some crucial point in their studying and were, as such, not paying attention. They were thrilled to discover that Ron wasn't doing much talking, but Harry was.

". . .tree, after I was just doing some flying. . .what happened last year. . .tried to tell. . .no, no, she's going to be fine with it." There was a pause, and then Harry continued. ". . .true. . .she will be. . .talk to her. . .you'll see."

Ron's voice was unusually clear in the room's silence. "Well, mate, what are you waiting for?"

With that, Harry raised both fists in a victor's salute and walked towards the stairs, leaving a grinning Ron in his wake and the rest of the room shocked at Harry's shockingly out of character behavior. Where was their unassuming hero? They looked to Ron for answers and as soon as Harry reached the top stair, Ron nonchalantly walked over to Lavender and sat down beside her.

"Remember that thing we were talking about, love," he smirked "with Harry? I think it's about to be sorted out."

"With Harry? The only thing we've discussed is the fact that he needs a. . ." she paused, seemingly shocked and then suddenly turned back towards Parvati. "Parvati. Something huge is about to happen. Right now. Ron, Ron, we have to know what's happening! This is vital to Gryffindor! Oh, my god," she breathed, "Harry and Hermione are about to. . .they're going to. . .wow. . ." And she sat back, apparently too stunned to continue.

The rest of the common room was vaguely boggling, having gathered enough information to piece together what was happening. Hermione had always seemed too wrapped in books to care about boys that way, even if it was Harry. And Harry, let's face it, had always been too wrapped up in saving the world. On the other hand, the two accompanied the other doing both things, so maybe it wasn't so inconceivable. But. . .Harry and Hermione? Together? As one, the classmates sat there, mulling the thought over.

Ginny Weasley was the first to react and that was to pull a small ear shaped object out of her pocket. While some of the room looked bewildered, she gave a rakish grin and moved her wrist back to flick the object across the room and upwards just as Ron started to protest.

"Oi, Gin, let the boy do this on his. . ." And then his words died off as the sound came in from the room above. Apparently Hermione had forgotten to reset her wards, one of which was a silencing charm that prevented sound from escaping and thus allowing her to have private prefect type conversations or, in the case of not setting them, providing the rest of Gryffindor the perfect opportunity to eavesdrop on this momentous occasion. Those that protested at the ethical ramifications of this invasion were quickly silenced, both by magic and a few well-thrown pillows. It wasn't often that Hermione forgot something like that and her well-meaning friends weren't about to let that opportunity slip by. Certainly not at this point.

". . .can't be distracted," Hermione was saying, "by things like that. I don't want you to get hurt because of me."

"But, Hermione, you've been my best friend for years. You were the one who didn't let me push you away last year and then talked me through. . .that. . ." There was a pause and then Harry's voice, sounding both offhanded and slightly more vulnerable. "You understand me, you know. I feel like I can tell you anything. You and Ron got me this far." Another few beats of silence. "You two are like pieces of me. Ron is my brother in the most important way, but you are certainly not my sister."

"See, Harry, that's all, you're getting confused. It's. . .it's hormones! That's all." Hermione's voice had a desperate tinge to it.

"Then why, if I'm confused," Harry started, sounding slightly amused, "did you kiss me first?"

There was a minute of silence while Hermione formulated an answer, which gave the rest of the common room to give a communal start. Hermione had kissed Harry? Just like that?

"I. . .I don't know. It was the breeze and thesun and you had just appeared out of the sky looking all windblown and happy." Her voice was slightly sardonic as she continued. "How could any witch resist?"

"I'm not sure," he continued in almost the same tone, "but somehow they do. Look, it's okay, you know, for you to just admit it. I will. I did, five minutes ago. And here we go again. Hermione Granger," there was a pause and the illicit listeners all leaned forward a bit, "I love you. A lot. And not the way I love Ron so don't try that, okay?"

"But that's just because I just kissed you! Until fifteen minutes ago, you would've never thought of that. And. . .it was. . .it was a mistake."

The males in the room below winced as the girls looked a bit worried. It was obvious in her tone that Hermione didn't believe a word of what she was saying, but was Harry perceptive enough to. . .

"That's not true, Hermione." Harry's voice was flat, like he was reciting something plainly obvious to an ignorant audience that should, in fact, know better. The girls eavesdropping below seemed to breath a collective sigh of relief.

There was another lengthy pause. Most of the room wished they could see the scene and if they could, they would've simply seen Harry and Hermione standing across from each other in her tidy room. They were separated by a foot or two, Hermione looking up at Harry silently as she tried to refute what he had been saying.

"It's. . .it's just not a good idea. What about Ron?" Hermione's tone was that of the person who felt they had obviously come up wit h a good point, but those below knew from the smirk on the mentioned redhead's face that it wasn't one.

"I told him. Downstairs. He told me to come after you."

"Oh." Hermione sounded slightly defeated.

"Let's try it again. If it was just hormones, I'm sure that hearing you tell me all the reasons it's a bad idea would make it. . .well, not as good." Harry was obviously trying his best to sound reasonable. "It's an experiment, Hermione. I think I deserve that much. If it's not like it was the first time, then I walk out of here and we never bring it up again."

"Oh, Harry, don't be silly. Of course it won't be the same because. . ." And then all sound stopped. For a minute, Ginny was terrified that the ear had stopped working and then Harry's voice came through again.

"That was the same."

"Well," Hermione started weakly, "maybe it was."

"It was. It was. . .better than catching the Snitch, you know. I meant it when I told you you're beautiful last year and you're beautiful now. All bright eyes and your face always has this. . .glow, even when you're mad at me. You're smart and beautiful and different. How could I have not realized this sooner?" Harry said wonderingly, almost to himself, and then cleared his throat and tried to sound serious but not pleading. "I think we ought to at least give this a chance. Hermione, give me a chance."

"How. . .how could I not?"

And just at that moment, Hermione, insuring a few minutes in which they could close this important conversation properly, reset her wards, disabling the Ear. Fortunately for him, she was even too distracted to hear Ron's whoop of glee.

She would certainly wonder, though, in the weeks to come, why Lavender and Parvati kept asking Ron and Seamus why they couldn't conduct more experiments.