Caught in the Act

thephotoman

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 02/12/2003
Last Updated: 02/12/2003
Status: completed

What would happen if Harry and Hermione were caught in the act by their children? Other than the obvious psychological scarring, that is.

Chapters

1. untitled

1. untitled

“Caught in the Act: Harry/Hermione”

Summary: What would happen if Harry and Hermione were caught in the act by their children? This was inspired by a question asked aboard the HMS Pumpkin Pie. First in a series.

Author's notes: Thanks to Jess86 for the plot bunny attack. Don't worry, I'm not going to be explicit. Just pretend that the kids walked in during one of my smutlets.

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It wasn't supposed to happen.

Ron was supposed to bring the kids back at 6:00, not 5:00.

They were supposed to have another hour to themselves.

But instead, the children came home an hour earlier than either Harry or Hermione expected, and when they went looking for their parents, they found them in the den, doing things. Things that no child ever wants to see their parents doing, no matter how well he or she knows where babies came from.

Harry and Hermione had just been caught with their pants down. Literally.

After a pair of gasps coming from their daughters, Jane and Eliza, the only thought in Harry's mind was that he was going to kill Ron Weasley. Hermione was thinking along the same lines. What else would a parent think if his or her child came into a room to see mummy and daddy, naked, on the floor, having sex?

Needless to say, the girls ran off, clutching their eyes, screaming about not having seen what they had just seen. Harry and Hermione decided to call off their coitus, as the mood had been shattered by their daughters' screams, and got dressed.

“I'm going to kill Ron,” Harry said as he checked his watch. “The kids weren't supposed to be back for another hour.”

“You know what this means, don't you, Harry?” Hermione asked. “We've got to give them The Talk.”

“The Talk? But they're 10 and 8! I thought we had another few years,” Harry exclaimed.

“Until five minutes ago, we did. But now, we've been caught in the act. They've got to know what was going on, lest they think something was wrong,” Hermione rationalized.

“I guess you're right, as usual,” Harry replied. “It's just that I've been dreading this.”

That evening, after dinner was over, Harry and Hermione called their children into the living room. After a nervous and confused 5 minutes of silence, Jane, the eldest of the two daughters, spoke up.

“Mum, what did you and dad call us here for? Does it have something to do with earlier today?”

Flabbergasted, the looks on Harry and Hermione's faces changed from nervousness to sheer shock. After about ten seconds of sputtering incoherently, Hermione finally spoke up.

“Yes, Jane, it does. Oh, dear, where to begin?”

“How about you start at the beginning, Hermione? After all, it's generally the best place to start,” Harry said. “Or should I?”

“Okay, Harry, you start,” Hermione said.

After a few moments hesitation, Harry began to sputter again. He was obviously getting nowhere.

“As your father seems incapable of speaking, I guess I'll have to tell you,” Hermione said. “See, it all starts when a man and a woman love each other very much, like your father and I do. In fact, they love each other so much that they just can't express it in words.”

“Exactly,” Harry said as the blood began to return to his brain. “So, as we can't tell each other how much we love each other, your mother and I have to show each other.”

“Naked?” Eliza asked.

“Yes, Eliza, naked,” Hermione said. “You see, when you're naked, you're completely open to those around you. There's no way to hide anything. So for someone to be naked in front of another person is a great sign of trust, possibly the greatest display of trust there is.”

“So you and daddy get naked for each other?” Eliza asked, her eyes showing more confusion.

“It's really the only way we can do what we were doing, dear,” Harry stepped in, regaining some brain activity. “See, what we were doing was very personal, and it could have very serious consequences if you're not careful.”

“Your father's right. In fact, part of why we were doing what we were doing has to do with the little brother or sister that we've been asking you about. You see, when you walked in on us, we were trying to get pregnant again. So what you saw us doing is something that you've got to be really careful about,” Hermione explained.

“Oh, so you were trying to give us that little sister we wanted,” Jane said, her eyes showing signs of understanding.

“Or brother, Jane,” Hermione put in. “See, there are many myths about how you can make sure that the baby you're trying to make is a boy or a girl, but the truth is that whether the baby will be a boy or girl is really up to a higher power.”

“However, your mother and I will explain the science behind making babies another day, when you've learned enough to allow you to fully understand that conversation. As for now, it's your bedtime,” Harry stepped in, trying to cut the talk short. He had been uncomfortable since that afternoon when the girls had walked in, and just wanted to take a shower and get to bed.

“Could we stay up a little longer?” Eliza pleaded.

“No, Eliza, you need to go to bed,” Hermione replied gently. “Off you go, girls.”

And with that, the girls left the room.

“Now, I'm headed off to the shower, dear,” Harry said, kissing Hermione on the forehead.

“Do you mind if I join you?” Hermione asked, an impish grin growing on her face.

“Of course not,” Harry replied before capturing Hermione's mouth with his own.