Whisper in the Wind

I loved you.

You were my everything. The light that sparkled in my eyes, that was you. The sunshine in my day, and the moon and stars in my night, that was you too. The raindrops falling on my face and the wind blowing in my hair, the air in my lungs… the very blood in my veins. You. You were my tears and laughter, my pain and pleasure, my sorrow and happiness… my heart and soul. You were my life. I breathed for you. I smiled for you and cried for you. I lived for you.

You.

Harry.

My sweet, caring, brave Harry. My best friend, my soulmate, my lover… my husband…

…for an hour. One blissful, fateful hour. One short hour after fervent declarations of our undying love for one another and passionate “I do's” that left everyone with tears in their eyes as they witnessed a love greater that they had ever imagined. One ephemeral hour after becoming man and wife, after breathlessly clinging to each other as the pastor declared, “You may now… er… carry on kissing the bride!” One hour of inexpressible joy, ecstatic laughter and a feeling of comfortable, familiar certainty… and love. As always, there was love. Our love. A love beyond description, a love too wonderful for words.

But through the wondrous light of our love there came a shadow. A terrible, dark shadow of a soulless, wretched man, a demon… and a cold cruel laugh boomed over the screams of terror that echoed through the night.

You killed him that night, the demon of a man who wreaked havoc in our lives since we came together, the monster that took so many of the people we loved, and haunted you for as long as you could remember. You were always so adamant that you would never let him harm anyone else, and you vehemently swore that you would protect me (not that I thought I needed it, of course, but you had already made up your mind), or come between us.

You spent the last three years breaking up his side, ever since we left Hogwarts. His followers were all gone now, yet he persevered. You never said much about your “assignments”, but I know you, Harry, and I knew what you were always setting off to do, but I couldn't stop you or go with you, so I would watch with my heart in my throat as you left, counting the minutes as I sat on our bed, half praying and half crying, waiting to feel your arms around me again, holding me close and calming my wild fears the way only you can.

“He's still alive, Mione, but we know where he is, and he's weak… I'll get him, my love, don't you worry… he'll never hurt you … I swear by my life that I will never let him hurt you. I will not let him harm a hair on your head without coming through me first… shhhh… don't cry darling, please… I love you Mione… oh Merlin, how I love you… I'm sorry sweetheart, I'm so sorry, I hate doing this to you… but he won't ever come between us again, my love, never again… I'll always be with you, forever, I promise… shhhh… I love you so much…”

You would hold me close and whisper those three magical words over and over again as you kissed my tear-streaked face, tangling your fingers in my uncontrollable curls that you adored no matter how wild they became. You'd wipe away my tears and turn my sobs into moans of delight as you kissed me, our tongues hotly exploring each other, then slowly, ever so slowly, make love to me with such a tender, almost worshipful passion that I would melt into you as wave after wave of pleasure washed over us and we both cried out in ecstasy. Our tears would then mingle as we kissed, lying in each other's arms as the warmth of our love surrounded and overwhelmed us. We would whisper sweet words of love to one another and lay soft feathery kisses on each other's face and hands, until we could no longer stand the sweet torment… and the waves would begin washing over us all over again. We could never have enough of each other.

We belonged to each other. Nothing would ever come between us…

But somehow, he made us pay… evil made love pay a price to it that night, as we danced for the first time as man and wife, under the starlight sky.

You.

You were that price.

He took you with him. You got your wish - all the people you loved were finally safe… I was finally safe. He got his wish - revenge, on you and on all the rest of us who loved and supported you. Your death. The death of Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. Harry….

My Harry… my love… my husband for an hour… you…

I heard your broken whisper into the wind as you fell to the ground before me. I heard those final words of love echo tenderly through the silence as I dropped to my knees beside you, clinging on to your limp body and crying out in agony as I felt as though my heart was being ripped out of my chest.

“I'm sorry…Mione… I love you… always be with you… forever…”

It was a pain not like any other I had ever felt… a thousand Cruciatus curses seemed to sear through my body as my head pounded with all the memories of us and stinging hot tears poured endlessly from my eyes. My heart was a burning, aching void, and with every beat the pain intensified.

“Harry! Oh Merlin, please… no… no… you're not gone… no… No… NO! NO! Harry, please… No…HARRY!!!”

My own screams resounded in my head, mingling with flashes of memories… memories of you. Telling me you loved me. Holding me in your arms as we lay in our bed in the house we shared with Ron and Lavender in Godric's Hollow. Teasing me about smelling like cookies and fruit salad, and tickling me in all those secret places only you knew I was ticklish. Those stolen glances in seventh year when our relationship was still a secret. Our first kiss that Christmas Eve in the Head Boy and Girl's private common room under a sprig of mistletoe you stole from the Great Hall. The first time we made love…

Why?

Why aren't you with me?

Why did he take you away from me?

Harry?

“Harry?”

“Hermione… come on love…” But it wasn't you speaking… it wasn't your voice…

“Harry…”

“Let go of him, sweetheart, come now… he's gone Hermione… I'm so sorry…” It was Sirius, I realised as my vision cleared slightly for a moment. “It's alright, nobody's going to hurt him anymore…” His voice shook as he drew me away from your body.

“No… Harry… I love you… no… don't … no… no, NO!!”

“Hermione…” Another voice, and again it wasn't yours. It was Ron. He was holding me now, so was my mother, and they were both crying. Why were they crying? Where were you? I couldn't see you anymore… where were you?

“HARRY!!”

I remember everything fading as the pain engulfed me. I lost my soul that night… I lost you.

Now, as I stand here where you rest in our special place under the weeping willow at the edge of the Hogwarts Lake, my hands resting on my swollen abdomen, I hear a whisper in the wind.

“…Mione…”

“Harry?” The wind caresses my cheek and blows through my loose hair.

“…Always with you…”

“I love you…” I whisper back.

“…I love you, Mione, forever…”

“Oh Harry…” I close my eyes as I sob softly, tears coursing down my cheeks, and the wind shifts and blows gently around me. I can almost feel your arms holding me, cuddling me to you like you used to do, stroking my back, tangling your fingers in my hair, placing gentle kisses on my eyelids and my rounded belly. I can smell you, that fresh spicy scent of you that I could never define as anything but “Harry”. I can see you in my mind, your hair as messy as always, your emerald eyes sparkling with love behind the unbreakable, waterproof, self-cleaning new glasses I gave you on your seventeenth birthday nearly five years ago. I open my eyes as I feel the wind give me one final squeeze and let go, and look out over the lake as the wind whispers its last words.

“…Forever, my love…”

I'm so sorry Harry. I'm sorry I accused you of leaving me, because you never did. I was angry and in pain, and I thought he succeeded in pulling us apart, but I was wrong. You are still with me, just like you promised you would be.

I love you, Harry. You're still my everything. The light now sparkles though the tears, but it's still you. You're still my sunshine, and my moon and stars too. You are still the raindrops falling on my face, the wind blowing in my hair, the air in my lungs, and the blood in my veins. You. You are still my tears and laughter, my pain and pleasure, my sorrow and happiness… my heart and soul. You are still my life. I will keep breathing for you. I will cry for you and smile through my tears for you. I will live for you… because I still love you, just as you still love me, and you will always be with me, as I will with you.

Wait for me Harry, I will come, I promise…

I'll wait for you too, Harry. I'll wait for you to come to me in the night, blowing in through the window I've kept open for you, and caress me softly like you used to, and make love to me as I dream of you. I'll wait for you to meet me in our special place under the weeping willow, and take me in your arms like you used to, and kiss my tears away. I'll wait for you to come and cuddle our son, ruffle the messy black hair so like your own, and make him soar higher and higher as he plays Quidditch on the Firebolt that was once yours.

Whisper to me Harry, like you used too when you comforted me or made love to me. I'll wait for you. I'll listen and wait. I miss you Harry… and I love you… so much …

I'm listening Harry. I'm listening for you in the wind… I'll always listen… whisper to me… whisper to me in the wind.