There are no happy endings (Revised)

Kai_Lun_Mau

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 06/12/2003
Last Updated: 20/06/2004
Status: completed

A lil ficlet from Hermiones point of view....The finally battle is over and voldemort is defeated...but at what price

Chapters

1. Chapter 1

2. Chapter 2

3. Chapter 3

4. Little Author Note

1. Chapter 1

An: I know this is already been posted but I finally edited and cleaned up the mistakes

There are no happy endings

By Kai Lun Mau

I wish that this could be a happy story, but real life isn't about Happy ever after. It has been almost six months now since he died and only now do I find the courage to finally visit the site of his grave.

Harry James Potter

The Boy Who Lived

Gryffindors Pride

Simple words on a granite headstone to describe someone so complex. To the Wizarding world he was a hero, a saviour, their final hope against a true source of evil, and now even with the Evil destroyed the wizarding community still fear to speak his name.

But what does saying a name matter to the people, the evil has been vanquished, he is gone, so what does it matter that to rid the world of his malignant presence it cost the life of someone I loved.

As I stand here staring at this simple headstone I feel anger. All these people are still celebrating "The boy who lived," final victory over you know who, but no one is mourning the death of who the boy who lived was.

I know they don't mean to be callous and I know I'm not the only one who is mourning the loss of Harry and I don't want to belittle their pain. I mean Ron has grown sombre in his grief, gone is the Quidditch obsessed teenager and in his place is a young man who grew up far to quickly and the cost of that was his best friend

Albus, Professor Dumbledore grieves for the loss of a grandson, the twinkle in his eyes that was his trademark is now severely diminished and his youthful exuberance has vanished and now he seems more like the old man his age proclaims him to be. But while they mourn the loss of a brother and a grandson, I mourn the loss of my heart and soul, because that is what Harry was and is to me. And as I stand here at the site of his grave I can't help but let the memories of our time together over the past two years.

Sixth year was a disaster for me relationship wise, when in a moment of pure lunacy I agreed to go out on a date with Ron. To this day I can't really say why I agreed to it but I will admit that at the beginning it was fun and I was flattered that finally someone besides Neville Longbottom was paying attention to me as a girl rather than as a living, breathing study guide.

The first real cracks in the relationship between Ron and myself began when we shared our first kiss. I felt nothing, no sparks, no passion, and to be totally honest it wasn't that good, that was when I began to wonder if I really should be dating Ron.

But what really caused me to question my feelings was when once Ron tried to kiss me in the common room. I happened to catch Harry's eye, god he looked so lost and that something inside of me wanted so badly to just reach and hold him, comfort him till the look was gone from his eyes even though I was about to kiss Ron. After that incident I always tried to avoid any public displays of affection with Ron when ever Harry was around because I never wanted to see that lost look in Harry's eyes again.

I think that was when the relationship between Ron and I finally began to fall apart, we argued more and more, not silly quarrels but raging, screaming matches and soon enough the arguments centred on Harry. While Ron will never be called academically gifted, even he could see I was purposely avoiding kissing him in front of our mutual best friend. Naturally I denied it of course, at the time I was still in denial about my feelings for Harry so I was shocked when Ron demanded I prove it, that the next time Harry was there with them that I should kiss him. I was so angry and hurt and I glared at him telling him to stop being stupid. That’s when he started yelling at me telling me that if I didn't do it things would be over between the two of us.

I was so mad I slapped him, not a slap you’re being stupid kind of slap, but the same kind of slap that I gave Draco Malfoy back in third year. The common room went silent as Ron picked himself off the floor and stared at me in shock before the famous Weasely Temper flared and both of us stormed away furious at each other.

It was a few hours later, after I had a chance to cool down that I went and found Harry and asked him for a loan of the Marauders map so I could find Ron. With a quick tap of my wand the map was revealed and there I saw Ron in the astronomy tower with Lavender Brown.

There is only one reason to be in the astronomy tower at this time of night but I didn't want to believe it, unfortunately I had to believe it when I got there and I saw the two of them going at each other like dogs in heat. I went nuts; I drew my wand and started firing off every unpleasant curse I could think of. I was really proud of the charm I used on both of them, a variation of the charm I used for the DA parchment in fifth year that spelled Skank and Loser on their foreheads.

But soon enough my anger died and my tears started and I fled the tower heading back towards the common room intent on simply getting to my room but I ran into the one person I didn't want to but longed to...Harry. Watching his expression slowly shift when I told him what I had saw I finally saw what made the Death Eaters afraid of him. Harry's eyes show his every emotion, he cant hide them from you, and when he is angry his eyes light up like there has been a fire lit in their depths.

When he heard what Ron had done I watched this anger burn in his eyes then slowly fade as he wrapped me in his arms and pull me close to him. God I was in heaven and hell at the same time, the smell of him was intoxicating and all I wanted to do right then was kiss him, but I knew I could not because that would be all the justification Ron would need to blame this all on Harry. Harry took the decision away from me because and I pulled away to wipe my eyes and go to bed our eyes met and before I knew it he dipped his head and his lips met mine.

TBC...

2. Chapter 2

There are no Happy Endings

Part 2....

God Even now as I remember that kiss I can still feel his lips pressed against mine and for a moment I smile before I feel the emptiness well up inside me again. Instead all I want to do is lay myself down on top of his grave and stay there till I join him on the other side. It all started with that kiss, all memories of Ron’s betrayal were swept away in that brief moment and all I could do was cling tightly to Harry's shirt.

Time seemed to stand still at that moment and I have no idea how long we stood there, his lips on mine, but it seemed to be forever, while at the same time being no where near long enough. His tongue grazed my lips and I opened my mouth to accept his gift and his tongue slipped across my teeth and slowly caressed my own in a slow burning dance of passion. My hands grasped the front of his shirt bunching the cotton in my fists. We would have stood there for hours if I hadn't heard a gasp of horror.

Even now I can still see Ginny's face when she caught us, me her brothers girlfriend and Harry her long time not so secret crush, and it still hurts me to think about some of the things she called me that day. Even now we still don't talk to each other much outside simple greetings.

That was nearly the end of five years of friendship between the once inseparable trio. When Ron finally got out of the infirmary, the first thing he did was blame all of this on Harry, no mention of his little tryst with Lavender, just that Harry stole his girl. An argument that culminated in a brawl in the middle of the great Hall, which ended with Professor Dumbledore stupefying both of them. That was the only year that we ever lost the house cup to another house because after their display of male testosterone Professor Mcgonnagal literally wiped out every point we had in the hourglass. Thank god it wasn't to the Slytherins though or we would never have heard the end of it.

We all split up after that, I would avoid Ron because of his betrayal, I would avoid Harry because I was scared, and Harry and Ron would avoid each other because of the fight. And both were avoiding me because I threatened to hex both of them if they didn't back off. Wasn't until the Christmas break when things started to change. I was going home to spend Christmas with my parents. Ron was going to the Burrow, and Harry, Harry was the only Gryffindor staying behind this year.

The day we all left for the train was one of the hardest things I have ever done. As I walked down to the carriages I glanced up at Gryffindor tower and there he stood at a window his fingers pressed against the glass watching with a heart broken expression. I looked away but inside my heart ached.

********************

A week went by and soon it was Christmas day but I wasn't enjoying myself. I couldn't because every time I closed my eyes I could see Harry's face in the window and when I awoke that morning I was met by the strange sight of Hedwig sitting at the foot of my bed with a small package tied to her ankle. Shakily I reached for her and gently untied the package and the small letter.

Hermione

Some things like your present will last forever and will never fade

Love Harry

I could barely open the small box my fingers were shaking so badly but when I finally opened it my heart was in my mouth. Hanging from a fine gold chain was a tear drop diamond that seemed to glow from the inside casting sparkles all over the dim interior of my bedroom. I couldn't think I just stared at the diamond as it spun on the chain. I never heard my mum calling my name or even when she entered my room, but I did hear her gasp when she saw what I was holding. She looked at me questionably, saying nothing but her gaze quietly asking me who had gave me such a gift. I simply replied.

"Harry."

She nodded, there was a look of understanding in her eyes and she smiled. "I wondered how long it would take him to get the courage." I looked at my mum with my brows furrowed an annoyed look on my face.

"Meaning what exactly."

Again my mum smiled that knowing smile. "Exactly what I said to you dear." With that she stood and made to leave my room. "You know we still have some of that floo powder left from last year, I think there's someone you need to speak to, and when your done why don't you invite him to Christmas dinner.

I nodded somewhat stunned and almost mechanically rose from my bed and quickly got dressed in my warmest clothes, I put the pendant back into the small box and tucked it into my pocket.

Even now two years later I still hate using the floo, but I used it that day and with a grunt as I lost my balance found myself lying on my back staring up at the ceiling of the three broomsticks. Without stopping to apologise to Madam Rosmarta, I rushed out the pub and started the long cold trek towards Hogwarts. It took almost an hour for me to get to the main gates and when I got there and pushed the door open I was shocked to see Professor Dumbledore standing at the foot of the staircase.

He smiled and his eyes were like fairy lights that day, they twinkled so brightly. "He is in the Gryffindor common room." His smile got a bit bigger as I nodded and bolted past him taking the stairs two at a time, hopping over the false step and running to the tower and the portrait of the fat lady. I gasped out the password and she gave me a knowing wink as she slowly swung open and I climbed through the passage.

He sat there on the oversized red velvet armchair staring into the fire, so preoccupied with his thoughts he never heard me come in. I don't know why I didn't say anything to him at first, so I just stood there watching as the firelight danced over his skin. Finally he turned in his seat and just looked at me, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Hey."

"Why?" I asked him, my hand in my pocket toying with the box.

He smiled knowing what I was talking about. "Because like I said in the note like the diamond something’s are forever and will never fade."

I growled at him. I growled at bloody Harry Potter and found myself at that moment wishing I had my wand. "Don't play silly buggers Harry, why did you give this to me?"

He sighed and stood and slowly crossed the floor till he stood over me, it was at the point I realised how much bigger he had gotten, he was no longer the scrawny little first year I first met on the train 6 years ago. He smiled his green eyes alive with life and an emotion I knew but couldn't put a name to. "Because I love you." I gasped and tears began to well in my eyes and slowly trickle down my cheeks. He smiled again and he lowered his head down and his lips very gently kissed away the teardrops from my cheeks. My arms flung themselves around his neck and this time I think I surprised him because I pulled his face to mine and I kissed him.

TBC...

3. Chapter 3

There are no happy endings

Part 3...

Even now with all the pain and the emptiness I still wear the diamond, it's a symbol, he may be dead now but I know he still loves me.

It was that Christmas in sixth year that Harry and I became a real couple, whilst Ron and Ginny were giving us the cold shoulder and being down right hostile at times, I can honestly say neither of us cared. We had each other and if they wanted to act like that then we would let them, sure we missed their company, though the Hogwarts six became the Hogwarts four with Neville and Luna running back and forth between Harry and myself and Ron and Ginny. And whilst we had our usual adventures surviving some plot involving Harry the sixth year ended almost anticlimactically with the four of us getting out of Hogwarts for the summer and refusing to talk to each other.

That summer was difficult for both Harry and I, we talked on the phone everyday and sent owls as often as we could, both counting the days till Dumbledore released Harry from his prison and let us both be together again. The time came and I was sitting patiently in the lounge of number twelve Grimmauld place when the fireplace exploded into green flame and Harry staggered out and landed on his ass in an undignified heap.

God even at his grave that memory makes me smile, for someone who could make death defying stunts on a two meter long piece of wood, he never could master the art of Floo travel. I didn't even give him time to get off the floor before I was off the couch and on top of him kissing him as soundly as I knew how. I had missed him so much and by the way I could feel his body reacting I knew he had missed me as well.

But if we thought that would get a cushy vacation for the month and a half we had till term started we were quickly shown otherwise, Harry and myself by default went through condensed Auror training, combat magic and medi witch training with Shacklebolt, Tonks, Moody and even Professor Dumbledore. It was hard and brutal and more than once we fell asleep in each others arms fully clothed, simply because we were far to tired to move. But in the end it was worth it, by the end of the summer vacation Harry could defeat most of his instructors and could hold Dumbledore to a stalemate. Myself, I was close to that level of readiness but found myself unable to last more than a few minutes against the Headmaster. Soon it was September first and we were on our way back to Hogwarts.

A lot of people never expected our friendships to recover from the sixth year bust up and as weird as it sounds we have Draco Malfoy to thank for us all getting back together as friends it was unfortunate that tragedy struck so soon after. Malfoy betrayed everyone, using a special ward created by Voldemort he trapped the teachers in the staff room while they were in a meeting and while Professor Dumbledore was at the ministry of magic he opened the gates of Hogwarts and let Voldemort and his Death Eaters into the castle. It was sheer fluke that at the time Harry and I were using the Marauders and we could see everything that was happening. Using the coins we made for the DA we called everyone and began the defence of Hogwarts.

We, the Hogwarts six, once more together, differences aside, and using Ron’s strength at tactics and the Marauders map, found ourselves leading a group of twenty five students against twice as many Death Eaters. The battle was fierce and several students were badly injured, several even losing their lives, but we knew every secret passage and the castle it's self seemed on our side as stairs cases moved stranding Death Eaters in dead ends. Suits of Armour even came to life attacking the invaders, and soon like always it came down to just Harry and Voldemort.

God just thinking about this makes me want to just curl up onto of his grave and cry, he kissed me and while I was distracted, cast the body bind on me. Not expecting it I couldn't resist it's affects and I fell into his arms, he gave me a sad smile and looked at Ron a grim determined look on his face while Ron stood there like a gaping fish.

"Keep her safe" he said and Ron just nodded as Harry stood and went off to face his mortal enemy. We couldn't see the battle but we felt it, the whole castle felt it as it rocked and shudders from the power spells, enchantments and charms being cast, soon Harry's full body bind spell began to wear off. I managed to push myself up enough to glare at Ron almost demanding silently he say the counter curse but he wouldn't, and then almost as suddenly as it begun, all the commotion stopped.

Ron and I watched as on the Marauders map the black dot representing Voldemort faded from the page, but Harry's dot was flickering in and out of existence. In a panic Ron removed the last of the bind from me and I scrambled to my feet, my heart in my throat as I tore down corridors and stair cases till I got to the Great Hall. I stared fearing the worst, the huge aged oak doors barely hung from their hinges and what I could make out in it's dim confines was a shambles, tables burned and walls were reduced to rubble and there lying in a circular area free of debris were two figures.

I could make out Voldemort, laying face down in a rapidly expanding pool of blood, but the second figure had my full attention. I scrambled over broken chairs and past burning tables to get to him. Tears were streaming down my face as I took in the sight of him blood matted his hair and his eyes were swollen shut, I fell to my knee's at his side and very tenderly gathered him into my arms and cradled him again my heart.

"M-mi-mione...." He struggled from breath his chest barely rising and falling as I struggled to save him, casting every medi witch charm there was in attempt to keep him alive till Madam Pomphrey could save him. But none of them were working, he coughed and blood trickled from the corner of his mouth and my tears fell faster. "Is-is he dead?"

I replied quietly my voice raw with emotion. "Yes Harry, you did it, he is dead, you stopped him Harry." I wanted to scream I wanted to kill Voldemort all over again as I held Harry in my arms feeling him slip away. "Shh Harry rest it'll be ok."

Harry went limp in my arms and his voice barely above a whisper replied. "I'm g-glad.... C-can't h-hurt me anymore.... C-cant h-hurt you...s-so tired Mione..."

I wanted to die as I felt him pulling away from me and sobbing desperately I clutched him tighter to my heart.

"Harry...Harry I love you, please, please don't leave me Harry"

"L-love you -m-mion...." He trailed off and his body went limp in my arms.

He died in my arms and even now six months on I can still feel his weight on my chest as I clutched his rapidly cooling body screaming for someone to help us, but no one could help him anymore. Harry Potter died that day, and in the Great Hall, Hermione Granger died as well.

I never attended his funeral, Fudge had taken it over and it was more like a circus than a funeral and I and just couldn't bear it, Harry was gone and all around me people were celebrating. So I found myself doing something I never thought I would ever do after I found out I was a witch.

I left the wizarding world.

And now six months after he died I finally found the courage to visit his grave and kneeling here in the mud at the side of his grave in the rain I find myself remembering a conversation we had during sixth year shortly after we got together. I called him my prince charming come to rescue me and he smiled. "Hermione, I'm no prince, and my life is no fairy tale, all I can offer you is right now, because in the real world there are no Happy endings for people like me."

Fin....

An: There ain’t much to say cept I hope you enjoyed this little change to my usual writing and I hope you all ain’t to disappointed by the end

4. Little Author Note

Little Authors note:

Here you go I fully intend to revise all my stories fixing the horrendous grammar and the typo’s one by one, this is the first one cause frankly it was the most messed up

Yours Truly

The Evil known as Kai Lun Mau