I'm Not Crazy

Disclaimer: I own nothing! But then again…I’ve got plausible Deniability

Summary: The students of Hogwarts to go see a psychiatrist! *Laughter* This will be fun!

A/N: I just got this idea to make a fic where everyone was pissed about something, and needed to vent about it! This isn’t my Christmas fic! I’m going to do one of those very soon! Though Christmas is in three days…Give me time…I will get it done! This is my…New year’s Fic…how about that? Yeah! It shouldn’t be extremely long…More chapters to come though! Don’t worry!

I’m not crazy!

(October 23)

Dr. Lipshitz stood outside his office door, waiting for anyone to come. He looked down at his watch, “Hmm…Figures…kids never think they need help.” He looked up to see a young man walking his way. “Hello there, are you here for a session?”

He nodded, “Not a bloody word of this gets out to anybody okay!?”

“I’m a psychiatrist, everything that goes on behind these doors are strictly confidential Mr...?”

“Malfoy.”

“Mr. Malfoy, please, come in.” He opened the door and Draco walked in. “Have a seat and we can get started. Just let me grab my clip board.”

Draco looked down at the burgundy lounge chair he was supposed to sit in, “Would you mind if I did a color changing spell? This will clash with my hair.”

“If that’s what makes you comfortable.” Dr. Lipshitz said as he took out a quill and wrote down, ‘Cares about how he looks…no matter where he is.’

“What am I supposed to say?” Draco asked getting comfortable in the chair.

“Tell me how you day went, or you can explain any problems that you are experiencing. Anything you would like…vent.”

“My day was bloody terrible! We lost a game again! I try to whip the team into shape but they never do anything I tell them to. It’s like having replica’s of Crabbe and Goyle out on the field!”

“Crabbe and Goyle?”

“My cronies.”

‘Has two cronies, might be lacking friends.’ Dr. Lipshitz wrote down. “Anything else?”

“This morning I woke up and looked in the mirror! I had a zit the size of a Volkswagen!” Draco touched the spot where it once was, “It’s gone now, Snape gave me a potion for it. You know what’s even worse though!? Pansy Parkinson attacked me this morning on my way out of the common room! She jumped on me and tried to kiss me. I had just taken a shower and didn’t want to be drooled on. She began complaining about how I never spent time with her anymore! While doing this she drenched me in spit and tears! WHICH IS NOT A GOOD COMBINATIONS IF YOU ASK ME!”

‘Has problem with women.’

Draco sighed, “I’m venting now, just in case you didn’t know.”

“That’s perfectly alright. Tell me, Mr. Malfoy, how are things at home?”

“Everything at home is begging to be a pain in my arse! Don’t take that saying the wrong way! I’m not gay! Anyways…SO WHAT IF I DON’T WANT TO BE A BLOODY DEATH EATER!? I don’t enjoy killing innocent people! Even if I don’t like Mudbloods! I have the most annoying father in the world. He thinks Voldermort likes him! I swear he got hit in the head with a red brick and knows nothing!”

“Why a red brick?”

“WHO CARES ABOUT THE FUCKING COLOR!?” Draco yelled

“M’hmm. Interesting.”

“How long is this session supposed to last?”

“For an hour.”

“How long has it been?”

“About fifteen minutes.”

Draco sighed, “There’s this girl…I can’t get her to notice me! No matter what I do! Push her down and call her names! I even did a spell to make her bag break! And you know what she did!? I’LL TELL YOU WHAT SHE DID! SHE PICKED EVERYTHING UP AND WALKED AWAY! Didn’t even yell at me! Normally I have no problems with the ladies!”

‘More problems with women…in denial.’

“What the hell is wrong with me!? I’m sure I didn’t smell bad! I’m a Malfoy its instinct to smell good!”

‘Cocky.’

“Maybe I’ll use a spell to die her hair black! Ha who would have thought? A Weasley and black hair! This is besides the point…what are you writing on that clippie thing!?”

“Just taking notes Mr. Malfoy.”

“Taking notes!? Am I some sort of test subject!?”

“No…not at all.” Dr. Lipshitz looked down at his clipboard and back up to Draco…though Draco was no longer in the seat but at the door.

“I’m leaving now…THAT BLOODY WENCH HATES ME!” Draco added as he slammed the door.

‘Always has to have the last word.’

~*~

That’s the first chapter! This fic is going to be pure comic relief! I’ve already Got Ginny, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Luna and More Angry Draco! If you liked this one, Review and let me know! If you’ve got any ideas as to what else people can be angry over…let me know! Don’t worry, I’m trying to make the chapters longer, but people and their tempers…tsk tsk. In Bold is what the Psychiatrist is writing down on the paper…in case you didn’t figure that one out!!!

Let’s play truth or dare, shall we? I dare you to press that button in the left hand corner…says, “Submit Review…Go.” Can’t find it? *Sigh*

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Disclaimer: I own nothing! But then again…I’ve got plausible Deniability

Summary: The students of Hogwarts to go see a psychiatrist! *Laughter* This will be fun!

A/N: Wabasha, here are some thanks! To everyone who reviewed the first Chapter! I’m very surprised that I got 25 reviews! I don’t know if that’s ever happened…all in one day that is!

Thanks to: the real HOPE, Hermionepotter24, Gwenia, luckyducky, Tegan, michou, Ice Babe, Vana, xxblue sparklesxx, Kimrs1973, ginnymalfoy21, RavenclawChrissie, DAB, Calamae Wood, Amaya, SobeFuel (High Five to you, first reviewer!), essential42, Magi, BabyD, MIRANDA, harmony, burgosdamasco, SamiJo, Cursed4Life!

Thanks and I’m sorry if I forgot anyone, there was another person, but they didn’t leave their name…it just says, “Enter Name.” But thanks to you! And Enjoy this chapter!!

I’m not crazy!

(October 26)

Dr. Shitzu walked into her office, she had sessions on Tuesday’s, Thursday’s and Saturday’s.

She heard a knock on the door and opened it, “Um…I’m here for a session.”

“Come right in and have a seat! What is your name?”

“Virginia Weasley.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Dr. Shitzu,” Ginny had to choke back a giggle. She sat down in the, back to burgundy, lounge chair. “What would you like to talk about?”

“I’ll just start with the basics.” Ginny straightened her dress and folded her hands in her lap, “I’m tired of it...I’m sick and tired of being the baby of the group! But I can’t say that because I’m not even in the damn group! Harry Bloody Potter didn’t notice me for four bloody long years! What a bloody prick!”

Dr. Lipshitz wrote down, ‘Likes the word Bloody.’

“Hermione-know-it-all-Granger thinks I have problems! Can you believe it? Me, Ginny Weasley, the shy, nice and quiet girl!? I DO NOT HAVE ANY PROBLEMS!” Ginny was moving her hands around frantically, “Another thing, my brother! Ronald Weasley! He thinks he’s the boss of me! He once told me that I couldn’t go on a date because it was after 5:00! That’s before dinner even starts! When I convinced him to let me go he began to talk to me as if I were a fucking soldier! ‘Report back here in 400 hours! Is that clear!?!’ I mean what the hell is that!?”

Ginny stood up and began to walk around the room, “And then Malfoy! He’s the rudest man on the planet! Yesterday he shoved me down the last four steps out of the castle! You see this cut right here!” Ginny pointed to her lip, “That’s from him! He broke my bag which cost a lot of money, and I suck at sewing so I couldn’t fix it! HE NEVER EVEN APOLOGIZED! Today he had the never to come up to me and say ‘Hi!’ What the fuck!”

‘Problems with friends, family and…enemies?’

“Tell me, Ms. Weasley, do you feel anything for this Malfoy character?”

“Excuse me? Have you seen him? Not only is he the hottest guy in Hogwarts but he’s got the bad boy attitude to go with it! He has the best hair! It’s silver/blond! His eyes are that of a cloudy grey…like the sky just before it rains! And his nose! It’s so bloody pointy you could poke an eye out with it! His complexion is…well terrible! If you were in a pitch black room with him I wouldn’t be surprised if he bloody glowed in the dark! He’s like fucking Casper the Friendly Ghost and shit! Crabbe and Goyle would be his uncle’s Stinky and I don’t remember the others name!”

Ginny sat back down and faced Dr. Shitzu, with her huge square glasses, “I don’t know what’s happening in my life anymore! The other day I was asked out by this Irish Bloke who once made fun of me when everyone found out I was scared of the bloody dark!”

“You’re scared of the dark?”

“Yes! I am!”

‘Might have had a bad childhood experience with lights…’

“Why the hell would I date someone named Seamus!? Do you know how much people would make fun of us! Our names Virginia and Seamus can easily be transformed into Virgin and Semen! I will NOT let that happen! I would rather go out with Malfoy than Seamus!” Ginny sighed and caught her breath, “Another thing, Snape thinks he can take away all the points he wants from Gryffindor! Grr to him! Because I can’t wait until he gets fired! I have no clue why Dumbledore even allowed him to work here…what I wouldn’t give to wash out his greasy hair with Strawberry Shampoo and then put make up on his face! Have you ever realized how much he resembles Michael Jackson?”

‘Has problems with names, does not like her Potions Master. Michael Jackson Fetish…we may yet have something in common.’

“There was an incident where my friend Luna had accidentally knocked over a cauldron and she got a week worth of detentions! There was nothing in the bloody cauldron!!!”

They both turned their heads when they heard a knock on the door. “Just a minute Ms. Weasley.” Dr. Shitzu stood up and answered the door, “Can I help you with something?”

Ginny stood up to see Draco Malfoy at the door, “No! I have the wrong room!” He stormed off down the hall.

“Is that the boy you fancy?”

Ginny sighed, “Yes…but if you don’t mind…I think I’m going to end this session and go off down the hall after him!” Ginny waved and took off out the door.

~*~

Yay, second chapter up! I hope you enjoyed it!!! I hope it wasn’t too short! L I try guys…I do!!!

*Look Forward To (In Chapter 3)* Just because I’ve got this lightning bolt on my forehead does not mean I’m gay! The evil git Malfoy charmed it to change colors frequently! And: It was like Fat Bastard on Barbie!

You did it once…do it again...Please?

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Disclaimer: I own nothing! But then again…I’ve got plausible Deniability

Summary: The students of Hogwarts to go see a psychiatrist! *Laughter* This will be fun!

A/N: Wabasha, Thanks to everyone who reviewed, sorry I’m not posting names at the moment, *Too Lazy* Sorry! \

I’m not crazy!

(November 1)

Harry Potter sat in the burgundy chair and stared at the woman in front of him, with the biggest glasses he had ever seen in his life! “Mr. Potter, care to talk?”

“About what?”

Dr. Shitzu sighed, “Everyone asks that. Just talk about whatever comes to mind.”

“I hate the world sometimes…people always stare at me as if I’m some animal. Just because I’ve got this lightning bolt on my forehead does not mean I’m gay! The evil git Malfoy charmed it to change colors frequently! I have no idea how he managed to do this…dark magic I suppose. He and his foul family…working for Voldermort! The fucker who killed my parents! Believe it or not I have a lot of problems to deal with and no one seems to notice!”

‘Blab Bola…this kid is not interesting to me…he does have self issues though.’ Dr. Shitzu wrote on the clipboard. “Is there anything that you fear?”

Harry sat for a minute and thought about it, “The eyes.”

“What?”

“The eyes! The golden red floating in a never ending pit of darkness. I wish I could get a spoon and take them out…then leave it in Snape’s pumpkin juice at breakfast.”

‘Sick, twisted and demented.’ She looked at him and slowly began to move her chair back a little, “Is there anyt-“

“AND YOU KNOW WHAT’S EVEN WORSE?” He raised his voice, not letting her finish the question, “THE FACT THAT HERMIONE GRANGER, MY BEST FRIEND, AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, SAID SHE TALKED TO VIKTOR KRUM OVER THE SUMMER! NOT THE SUMMER HE INVITED HER TO HIS HOUSE, BUT THE ONE TWO YEARS LATER!!!” He lowered his voice, “The bloody prick is going to take her away from me…him and his rocky nose…What I wouldn’t give to hit a bludger right at it…To see it oozing with blood, his hands covered in it too…And even his lips the luscious red…”

‘This child is psychotic…and he likes blood.’

“Would you mind describing her for me?”

“Who?”

“Hermione.”

“Oh…well that’s simple…She’s got the huh, huh, huh with the rah, rah and the hunkity hunk!”

“Never mind…Forget I asked.”

His eyes became watery, “I feel as if no one at this school likes me…except for Dumbledore…but one time he was looking at me and licked his lips…like he was hungry for fresh meat!”

‘Has mood swings.’

He sighed, “I wish glasses came with windshield wipers…then I wouldn’t have to clean my glasses ever 2.5 seconds.” He moved closer to her, “Am I ugly? Is there something wrong with me?”

“Um…No child…could you please get out of my face…your breath reeks of…Oh my god…I don’t know!! But it smells terrible! STOP BREATHING ON ME!” She shoved him back.

“See I told you! No one cares about me! And my breath only smells bad because Dean Thomas dropped my tooth brush in the toilet!”

‘Has Hygiene problems…Not to self, buy him a toothbrush.’

Harry quickly changed the subject, “I once walked in on my Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia in their bedroom. I couldn’t have food for a month! I’ll still never be able to get over that sight…It was like Fat Bastard on Barbie! I’ll definitely say he’s got a plumber’s crack.” Harry took off his glasses and cleaned them, “Did you know my God Father died too? Yes well he did, and I’m just going to tell you, you should feel sorry for me! Not yourself! Just because you didn’t get any last night is no reason to be depressed you little ingrate!” Harry stood up and walked out the room.

“These kids are…quite interesting…”

~*~

Third chapter up! I hope you enjoyed it!!! I hope it wasn’t too short againL! I try!

*Look Forward To (In Chapter 4)* “What makes you think that huh!? Just because I have bushy hair and like my best friends brother!? Well in that case I’d say do you like Twinkies!?” And: “I couldn’t get out of my bed,” She started.

“I know the feeling.”

“Alarm clock’s next to my head.”

“Was it, a ring-a-ding-a-ling?”

Ha! Sound good? A ring a ding a ling. Ha what’s going on in this world!?

You did it once…could you do it again...Please?

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Disclaimer: I own nothing! But then again…I’ve got plausible Deniability

Summary: The students of Hogwarts to go see a psychiatrist! *Laughter* This will be fun!

A/N: AkiChickiBaba, Thanks for reviewing again! I can’t believe I got 77 reviews! That’s so awesome! Also…sorry if it’s not that funny…but we’ve had a recent death in the family (On Christmas day!!) So…sorry. But thanks for all the constructive criticism! And the little bit with Luna was from a song! On Even Stevens! Whoever sent that review in, thanks but it’s really gay that you don’t sign in…it seems like people don’t sign in when they say something bad…So you can’t read their story and say something bad about them…And the people who say really rude things aren’t even authors…am I the only one who notices this? I’m not kidding! I think every review I got that said something bad that person wasn’t an author…

I’m not crazy!

Dr. Lipshitz opened his door and smiled, “Hello there Ms….?”

“Lovegood.” She said walking into the room and sitting in the chair.

“Well Ms. Lovegood…Have you been to a psychiatrist before?” He asked as she pulled out a newspaper.

“What makes you think that huh!? Just because I have blonde hair and blue eyes…do you think I’m still suffering depression from a past relative that was killed by Hitler!? Well in that case I’d say do you like Twinkies!?” (A/N: I don’t mean to offend anyone who is Jewish! One of my best friends is actually and she’s hilarious, but that’s another story entirely! So I’m sorry!”

He cleared his throat, “I did not mean to offend you Ms. Lovegood.”

She opened the newspaper and turned it upside down, “My father wrote this…The Quibbler, just incase you didn’t know.”

“Why are you reading that upside down?”

She glared at him, “Why wouldn’t I read it upside down?”

‘Likes to answer questions with questions.’

“Just asking. Tell me about yourself.”

“My name is Luna Lovegood! I’ve got blonde hair and blue eyes…anything else?”

‘Likes to state the obvious.’

“Tell me how your day went.”

“I couldn’t get out of my bed,” She started.

“I know the feeling.”

“Alarm clock’s next to my head.”

“Was it…a ring-a-ding-a-ling?”

She nodded, “I wanted to sleep instead of dealing with school! So I hit the snooze button twice.”

“Its way to early.”

“Showers cold as ice.”

“Chi-Chi-Chi-Chilly?”

She glared at him, and nodded again, “Spill my crispy rice…that’s so uncool! I ruined my skirt and my feet kind of hurt, coz I’m wearing to left shoes.” She pointed down at her feet and indeed, there were two left shoes on her feet.”

‘She’s wearing two left shoes.’

She pointed at her cheek, “I’ve got a new zit, but I ain’t gonna quit coz I know how to beat these blues. I just close my eyes and say…It’s the perfect day…and all my troubles have gone away.”

“That was…rather interesting Ms. Lovegood…moving on. What do you like to do in your spare time?”

“Read things…upside down of course.”

“Care to explain why?”

“Why would I care to explain?” She turned the page in the Quibbler, “I can see dead things…They haunt my dreams. I once had this dream where I went to the Great Hall for breakfast and Dumbledore turned into a Centaur…who had an arrow going through his head.” She sighed, “Dead things…”

‘Has scary dreams.’

There was another knock on the door. Dr. Lipshitz got up to answer it, “Hello Mr. Malfoy, what can I help you with?”

“I need to talk to you!” He shouted.

“I’m speaking with someone at the moment.”

Draco pushed the door open, “Get out of here Loony!”

Luna looked at him and stood up, “Okay…But I’m only doing this because I want to!”

~*~

To: ItalianSoccerChick89

Just because of the whole blonde/brown hair, blue/brown eyes thing…you gave me a 3? I shall never understand that… Maybe you should give more of a reason. (Though now the review will make no sense because it’s changed. Tee hee!

*Look Forward To (In Chapter 5)* ‘I walked off the side walk, stepping over the cracks…as not to break my mothers back, when I saw Ginny sitting by a tree. I took off skipping towards her More Draco! Be happy!

Who knows what happens next? I do! I do! You can too…if you review! (Ohh, check out the rhyming Skills!)

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Disclaimer: I own nothing! But then again…I’ve got plausible Deniability

Summary: The students of Hogwarts to go see a psychiatrist! *Laughter* This will be fun!

A/N: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Please read this, even though I know hardly anyone reads the author’s notes. And I thank the few people who did say something to me about my loss. Even though you might not care…. As for Digi_rain telling me that someone was OOC it should not matter! This is a comedy fic! So no one bloody cares! You’re missing the point if that’s what you care about! You’re exactly the type of person I was talking about. You say a load of shit about my story, yet have none written. As of now I’m in a really bad mood because it was my great grandmother who died, and she was one of the last things I had to remember my father of who is dead also…So the people who are reviewing and saying bad things…your not helping me out any…And I know I should be somewhere else besides updating this fic…But I figure why not it takes a few minutes…I know…I’ve been ranting for the longest time…thank you for reading but…I don’t know if I will keep going on with this story because what the hell is peoples problems!? This is for comedy! Jesus Fucking Christ! (Sorry)

I’m not crazy!

Draco changed the chair to black and sat down, “What did you wish to speak about Mr. Malfoy?”

“I had this dream last night.”

‘This will be interesting.’ Dr. Lipshitz took out his special markers and began to draw.

“Where to begin…” Draco thought, “Ahh…yes.”

‘I walked out the entrance of Hogwarts and made my way down the steps. There was a cricket on the fourth step up, and I heard that if you ever saw a cricket on a step, you had to jump off the one right above it! So I did…The cricket jumped at the same time I did, and as I landed I heard a big *Splat*. I killed him!’

“Is that the dream Mr. Malfoy?”

“No! I’ll very well let you know when I’m done!” Draco straightened up in the chair and went on.

‘I walked off the side walk, stepping over the cracks…as not to break my mothers back, when I saw Ginny sitting by a tree. I took off skipping towards her, when I stopped…to pick up a dandelion! A DANDELION OF ALL THINGS! She spotted me and stood up. I continued skipping until I reached the tree.

“Hi Weasley.” I said to her.

“HULLO MALFOY!” She yelled at me! I mean really yelled!

“Why are you yelling?” I asked, sad at the thought that she didn’t love me.

“Why shouldn’t I be yelling!?”

‘Obviously that Loony girl has gotten to her.’

“Okay.” I said blowing the white specks off the Dandelion…giving her a smell of my mint fresh breath, “Hey…I think I love you.”

(Advertisement: Listerine! Gets rid of more plaque than brushing alone!)

She looked at me and responded with, “Oh my god! I like so totally love you too!”

“Marry me, will you?”

Her eyes began to fill with tears, “I never thought this day would come! Of course I’ll marry you, Harry!”

“POTTER!” I screamed at her. Why in the bloody hell was she bringing him into this!?

“WHAT? HARRY IS HERE? GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!”

I looked down at her and sighed, pulling a ring out my pocket I said, “Here’s your wedding ring you bloody wench.”

She clapped her hands together and slid it on, “I think I’m pregnant with your child.”

“How!?” This girl was crazy! We have never done anything of that sort together!

“The world is filled with Magic and Wonder.”

Draco stopped talking and Dr. Lipshitz looked at him, “Is that the end?”

Draco sighed, “Yes…she’s quite the poet isn’t she?”

“I’m going to show you something…and you have to say the first thing that comes to mind when you see it okay?” Draco nodded as Dr. Lipshitz turned his clipboard around to reveal a grasshopper soaring through the air, and getting caught in Ginny’s hair.

“Ahh! Back you devil!” He punched the clipboard, breaking it in half.

“You are in denial Mr. Malfoy. You love this Ginny girl, go for it, tell her how you feel…do not try to relive your dream though!” Draco stood up from the chair.

“I think I will…” He began to leave but went back to the clipboard; he picked up the drawing and ripped it into small pieces, “All better.” He sighed and left the room.

~*~

Sorry…I couldn’t help myself with the Listerine bit! Please do review…and don’t give me any stuff about it not being correct…coz quite frankly at this moment…I don’t care…

*Look Forward To (In Chapter 6)* Pansy’s own boyfriend, Draco Malfoy… sure you’ve heard of him, even he didn’t stick up for her. Pansy’s starting to wonder if they will last! But they have to! Love can get through anything.”

‘Psychotic bitch.’ Dr. Shitzu wrote down.

Be Ware…Pansy Talks in Third Person!

Nick Knack Patty Whack, Give A Dog A Bone!

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Disclaimer: I own nothing! But then again…I’ve got plausible Deniability

Summary: The students of Hogwarts to go see a psychiatrist! *Laughter* This will be fun!

A/N: Yo ha, Bro ha. You know…even after everything I put up here yesterday this peanut fucking butter and jelly person still said gay crap!!! Like a fucking wannabe 007 and shit! IT gave me a five because IT said that I made Harry WHINY…okay who cares really? And then a 4 because a chapter was short…I already said they’d be short…and Peanutbutter007 is another of those people who have no stories…*Sigh* It gets really annoying after a while!

Thanks to:

Magi: Well thank you dear! Ha, sound like an old woman.

Manok: Thanks, you are very poetic.

Padfoot_puppyeyes: I won’t change the rating! Thank you!

RavenclawChrissie: Thank you, it is okay to talk in third person…do you need to be in this fic too? Hehe

GinnyMalfoy21: Hilarious ;) Ha, who am I to talk about spelling? I used to spell it wrong and I was trying to yell at someone and it doesn’t work when you spell things wrong. Hillarious is what I thought…Pretty close! Thanks!!

BabyD: Thank you, and sorry about your grandmother too. You are poetic too, the rainbow bit made me smile.

Giner_Babe13: Thanks and I try to update everyday!!!

Nayana: Interesting name there pal! Thank you! It’s a funny story how I thought of Draco’s dream actually…my friend e-mailed me and said she was bored and had nothing to read…so I wrote that in like two minutes…and then I decided to use it because it’s crazy! (There’s a bit about the full hour thing at the bottom. Nothings pointed towards you of course) Thanks again!

Gwenia: Yes, I am awesome! More awesome than you! Awesome, like a possum in the bathroom…with his mouthful, while he’s coughing like a dolphin! (RHYME!) Talk to you soon (Like NOW haha) *Huggles* As you would say.

Calamae Wood: Thank you! I think I will continue this for now!!!

Michou: Thanks! That’s scary about your mad teacher…I’d switch classes or something. Harry is crazy!!!

Miranda: Thanks! I will!

Cursed4Life: Yes…Draco is very sensitive…he just doesn’t know it yet…but as Ginny said, ‘The world is filled with magic and wonder.’ Not just any flower though…a Dandelion! Thanks!

SobeFuel: It’s Ginny not Jenny, probably just instinct, right? Jenny is more normal…Ginny reminds me of like…Guenie pig…(Don’t know how to spell it!) Thanks!!)

The real HOPE: yes…strange! Thank you.

Hermionepotter24: Thank you…Dream Ginny is…I don’t know a crack head? Yes we’ll leave it at that! Ha! Eye examination! Nice!

KypDurron: Thanks…and its fine. I won’t discontinue it, more people like it than dislike it so of course I will! To hell with the haters! So evil that hell will probably spit them back out (I love Pirates Of The Caribbean!!!)

Sorry if I forgot anyone…I did all the ones I’ve gotten so far…and I only did the ones for Chapter 5!! Thanks if I forgot you, or if you’re reading this years down the road ;)!

I’m not crazy!

(December 15)

Pansy Parkinson walked into Dr. Shitzu’s room. “Hello there.”

“Hi…” Pansy said, “Pansy’s here to talk to a psychiatrist.”

“That would be me, Dr. Shitzu.”

Pansy burst into a fit of laughter, “Are you kidding me? Shitzu isn’t that a type of dog!?” She fell onto the chair and wiped her eyes, “You’re kidding…right?”

Dr. Shitzu shook her head, “No, I’m not.”

Pansy smirked, “Well anyways, that doesn’t matter. We’re here to talk about Pansy…not you.”

“Talk away.” Dr. Shitzu pulled out her clipboard, ‘Talks about herself in third person.’

“Well this year has been the worst! Everyone has been calling Pansy ugly, and Gregory Goyle had the nerve to call her obese! Hmph, has he looked in the mirror lately!? Pansy’s own boyfriend, Draco Malfoy… sure you’ve heard of him, even he didn’t stick up for her. Pansy’s starting to wonder if they will last! But they have to! Love can get through anything.”

‘Psychotic bitch.’ Dr. Shitzu wrote down.

“Draco called Pansy a whore too, and said she should try this thing called Slim Fast! Have you heard of it? DO YOU THINK HE WAS SECRETLY TELLING ME I LOOKED FAT?” Pansy asked, not waiting for an answer she continued, “Even when they went to the Yule Ball together! Pansy asked him if the dress made her look fat and he said…” Pansy sniffled, “He said Pansy should stop eating chocolate! And that’s why Pansy had pimples all over her face! He told Pansy she looked like a pug that had the three dimensional chicken pox!”

‘Chocolate Fetish…might like graphic arts.’

“He embarrassed Pansy in front of all of Slytherin too!”

“What did he do?”

“He said, ‘If I had a dog as ugly as you, I’d shave its arse and tell it to walk backwards.’ Pansy’s not that ugly! He’s lucky she loves him, or she would have dumped him a long time ago! He was Pansy’s first…She’ll love him forever!”

‘Can’t accept the truth.’

“What are you writing?”

Dr. Shitzu shook her head, “I am only taking notes so we can help you.”

“EXCUSE ME? PANSY DOES NOT NEED HELP! WAIT UNTIL FATHER HEARS ABOUT THIS! Dumbledore sent her to a psychiatrist because he thought she was crazy! Pansy’ll have his job for this. No! She can’t have his job! She’s only 17! Shit…Pansy, Pansy, Pansy.”

‘Likes to talk to herself, thinks being called PANSY is good.’

“That’s it! Pansy has to write to father right away! Pansy must go now!” Without another word she stood up and left.

“I think we will get our best response from Hogwarts.” Dr. Shitzu stated, closing the door, only to have a foot pressed in it, “Can I help you with something?”

“Yes…I came to talk to you.”

“Oh! Why certainly! Come right in!”

~*~

Someone brought to my attention that they kids weren’t using up their full hours. And I know, I’m going to try to add more but it’s hard to add things onto it when I wrote a lot of this in one day and if I add stuff I don’t want to ruin any funny things…but I’ll try to add for the next Chapter (Hermione) but…don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

*Look Forward To (Chapter 7)* CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? WHAT WERE HIS PARENTS THINKING? WHO THE HELL SPELLS VICTOR WITH A K!?

I went down town to see Charlie Brown. He gave me a nickel, to buy me a pickle! The pickle was sour so he gave me a flower, the flower was dead so this is what he said! Down, down baby, down by the roller coaster, sweet. sweet baby never gonna let ya go!

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Disclaimer: I own nothing! But then again…I’ve got plausible Deniability

Summary: The students of Hogwarts to go see a psychiatrist! *Laughter* This will be fun!

A/N: Whoosah! I’m sorry everyone…I have to think of a lot of things to be wrong with Hermione, and then make it funny! I hope I did okay! And plus, I tried to make it longer…adding things on to make it seem as though they were using their full hour. So I added as much on as I could! Thanks to everyone who reviewed (Too lazy to do a thanks…but I have to baby-sit tomorrow so I don’t know when I’ll write more and post!!!) Thanks to my American Skank/Italian Slut for writing some Due dates for me so I’ll really get things done on time! I love you girl!

I’m not crazy!

Hermione Granger stepped into the office, “What’s bothering you dear?”

“Mid terms are coming up soon and…I’vw been thinking about this guy too much…”

“Who’s the guy?”

“Harry Potter…You see Harry and I have been best friends for seven years! I think that if I told him how I really felt, he would probably feel weird around me! I had to lie to him and tell him that I spent the summer with Viktor Krum! To tell you the truth, I’m not sure that they like each other very much. I remember on the train ride here, Harry was asleep…While asleep he murmured about bludgers and noses…With the name Viktor Krum. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? WHAT WERE HIS PARENTS THINKING? WHO THE HELL SPELLS VICTOR WITH A K!? Even though it’s the way it sounds, C can also make the sounds of a K! We learned this on what? Kindergarten!?”

‘Likes a famous child…Gets angry over wrong spelling.’

“Do you wish to be an English teacher when you get older?”

Hermione nodded, “Yes…yes I do…are you Muggle Born?” Dr. Shitzu nodded.

“I specialize in psychology for wizards.”

“Oh…right…”

“What sparks your interest in English?”

“Just the fact that I can help kids! Don’t you hate it when someone’s trying to tell a story and they use the words, ‘Like and went.’ Like this morning and breakfast for instance.

~*~ Flashback ~*~

Hermione walked into the Great Hall with Harry and Ron at her sides. They took a seat on one side of the table, across from Lavender and Ginny.

“Oh my god Ginny I like so love your hair!” Lavender shouted looking at them.

“Um thanks…”

“You won’t believe what happened to me yesterday!”

Ginny sighed and looked over at the Slytherin table, “What happened?” She asked, not listening.

“I was talking to Padma the other day and she was like, “No the Spice girls are SO coming back you just wait.” And then I told her, ‘If the Spice Girls come back then Jennifer Lopez is getting married.’ And she went, ‘Gwennifer Lopes is getting married! To Ben Ufflek!’ And so I was like, “uh-uh! J-Lo is a hoe!’ And so she got all mad at me an-“

Lavender was interrupted by Hermione shouting, “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! You need to go back to a basic learning school and learn correct English! You aren’t ‘like’ you say! YOU DON’T GO! YOU WENT!” The Great Hall went quiet and all eyes were on Hermione, “What!? Never seen someone get upset before?” She sat down and took a began to drink from her goblet.

Lavender rolled her eyes and turned to face Ginny, “Well anyways she was like-“ Hermione spit her pumpkin juice onto Ginny’s face.

“DID YOU NOT JUST HEAR A WORD I SAID!?” Lavender stared at her, “HELLO!?”

“Erm…excuse me Hermione but I’m trying to tell a story!”

Hermione grumbled and walked out of the Great Hall.

~*~

“Do those people annoy you?” Dr. Shitzu asked as she wrote down, ‘Frightened by famous pop singers.’

“Who?”

“The Spice Girls?”

Hermione stood up and shook her head, “Are you kidding me!? Out of that whole story is that the only thing you got?”

“No…I heard you talking…but anyways…do they annoy you?”

“Stop right now! Thank you very much, I need somebody with a human touch! Hey you always on the run got to slow it down baby got to have some fun! Do-Do-Do-Do Da-Da-Da-Da Do-Do-Do stay with me forever.”

“I’ll take that as a…No?”

Hermione nodded and sat down, “Those glasses really don’t suit you.” Hermione told her, “They are almost as big as your face!”

Dr. Shitzu looked up and glared at Hermione, “If you don’t mind, we are here to talk about you…not me.”

“Hermione…Hermione…Hermione…Hermione.” Hermione looked around the room.

“Did you hear that!?”

“Hear what?”

“The voice! It called my name!”

‘Hears things…maybe a radio is in the small brain of hers.’

“No…I didn’t.”

“Ms. Granger…Ms. Granger…Ms. Granger.”

“IT DID IT AGAIN!”

Dr. Shitzu sighed and looked at the student going berserk in front of her. “Maybe it’s the damn pin you’re wearing on your robe that’s flashing red and pink signs everywhere!”

Hermione gasped, “My alarm clock! I minimized! And then it was supposed to go off every two hours! That’s what it was this entire time...” She sighed and stood up again, “Well then, I think I’m going to go brag about Viktor to Harry…see if he gets angry enough to kiss me.”

“Ms. Granger…I advise you take off that Pen-Alarm Clock.”

“Who are you to tell me what to do!?” Hermione walked out the room, slamming the door.

~*~

Next up is Ron! And after Ron, there will be couples, and group sessions…And then that’s it…unless I can come up with something else! Though the group sessions shall be fun! Talking about what you don’t like about a person! MORE SINGING FROM HERMIONE IN THE GROUP SESSION. This weirded me out when I wrote a Spice Girls song down from memory…Tell me what you want, what you really, really want! Haha! I remember that song.

Ron shoved his hand away, “Don’t you dare touc- WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT!” Ron stood up in the chair and his eyes widened.

“What…?” Dr. Lipshitz turned around and saw a tiny spider on the wall. “Oh, Mr. Weasley it’s just a spider!”

“KILL IT! KILL THE DAMNED THING RIGHT NOW!”

Check out this chapters Nursery Rhyme/Girlie patty-cake song thing!

There’s a place in France…where the naked ladies dance. There’s a hole in the wall where the boys can see it all, there’s a place on Mars where the women smoke cigars and the men wear bikini’s and the boys drink Martini’s every breath you take is enough to kill a snake, when the snake is dead, you put mustard on it’s head, when the mustards dry you put diamonds in its eye, when the diamonds rot you….REVIEW!!!!!!!

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Disclaimer: I own nothing! But then again…I’ve got plausible Deniability

Summary: The students of Hogwarts to go see a psychiatrist! *Laughter* This will be fun!

A/N: Okay, nothing important to say but Thank You! And Uh…Read and Enjoy! See the lighter side of things, don’t care about being in and out of character :-D

I’m not crazy!

(December 20)

Ronald Weasley stepped into Dr. Lipshitz office. “Hello Mr. Weasley, please…take a seat.”

Ron looked shocked, “How did you know my name?”

“Your sister already paid my co-worker a visit.”

“Oh…” Ron sat down and took deep breaths.

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I feel left out.”

‘Lonely.’

“My two best friends have feelings for one another! They know the other does, but still NO ONE will say anything!”

“Have you tried to help get them together?”

“I would! But I just can’t! It would ruin our Trio! I can’t let that happen! If I did…they would both blame it on me!”

“Why do you not want to set them up?”

Ron sighed, “Because we have always been a THREE some! If they get together they become a TWO some, and I become a ONE some! And then if they broke up we would all be THREE ONE somes which is definitely not as good as ONE THREE some!” (A/N: From TSR!)

“I see.” Dr. Lipshitz jotted things down. “Do you have a romantic interest in anyone?”

“There is this one girl…I’m too embarrassed to say her name. DO NOT TRY TO GET ME TO TELL YOU BECAUSE I WON’T!”

“That’s okay…you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.” Dr. Lipshitz patted Ron’s knee reassuringly.

Ron shoved his hand away, “Don’t you dare touc- WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT!” Ron stood up in the chair and his eyes widened.

“What…?” Dr. Lipshitz turned around and saw a tiny spider on the wall. “Oh, Mr. Weasley it’s just a spider!”

“KILL IT! KILL THE DAMNED THING RIGHT NOW!”

“Are you frightened?”

“NO I’M OVERLY EXCITED CAN’T YOU TELL!?” He was shaking now.

‘Scared of Spiders…Arachnophobia.’

Dr. Lipshitz stood up and walked to the wall, “There’s nothing to be afraid of…really though, you’re bigger than it. You can step on it.”

“BUT IT’S ON A WALL!”

“That’s why these things come in handy.” He waved the clip board and with a resounding *Smack* He hit the spider.

Ron ran over to him to look at it, “W-w-where did it go?”

“Hmm,” Dr. Lipshitz looked on the floor. “I do not know…”

Ron slowly turned to his right, getting a scared look on his face, “AHHHHH!” Said spider was wiggling around on the back of the clipboard. He ran back to his ‘safe place’.

“What? Where is it?”

“IT’S ON THE BACK OF THE CLIPBOARD!”

Dr. Lipshitz sighed, and looked at the back of the clipboard. “Damn Kids.” He whispered as he flicked it off into the trash can.

Dr. Lipshitz sat down and changed the subject, “Your sister is a very interesting girl.

“I know…it’s the bloody worst.” Ron said as he sat back in the chair, “All the guys looking at her…Harry and I should team up on them…”

“How does that make you feel?”

“What?”

“Knowing that a lot of the male portion of the student body finds your little sister attractive.”

“I feel angry! No one! I mean no one is good enough to date Gin! They would have to pass my test, which is pass-proof and therefore, no one will ever date her.”

“Have you ever thought about her feelings?”

“Her what?”

“Feelings, Mr. Weasley, Feelings.”

“Oh…well no I haven’t…but seeing as how I’m her older brother…I don’t have to care. Just protect.” Ron sat and stared at the doctor for a moment, “How do you feel about the word Boo-Yah?”

“Come again.”

“There’s a funny story to it actually! I was like, ‘Boo-yah! That Boo-yah is totally Boo-yah!’” (Ron Stoppable!)

“I think that’s to many Boo-yah’s, Mr. Weasley.”

“You can never have too many Boo-yah’s! All around the world people are saying Boo-yah! Boo-yah, Boo-yah!”

“Hmm…Maybe I should start saying Boo-yah.”

“I’d rather you not…”

‘Gets jealous when someone takes his insane word, ‘Boo-Yah.’

“Boo-Yah.” Dr. Lipshitz said.

Ron covered his ears, “Ahhh! I think I should leave now.”

“Good afternoon Mr. Weasley.” Ron stood up and left the room.

~*~

Please, when you are done reading this, look at this link! It’s the funniest thing in the world and I think it goes great with this fic! http://www.ebaumsworld.com/endofworld.html He, tell me what you think! And I think that’s it for now…I know I’m forgetting something…but Oh well! I’ll let you know in the next Chapter!

*Preview*

“I’m glad you asked that Ms. Parkinson.” Dr. Lipshitz smiled at everyone, “Today we have selected a few songs for you to listen to, and if at any time, one of you gets angry, let us know.”

By the way guys, I didn’t really like what I did with the group sessions, but I let some of my friends see it and they said it was good…so Sorry! But the next should be better…Unless you really liked this one! Tell me!!

“The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout.” Ron looked around at everyone, nervously.

AND

“I went down to the beach and saw Kiki she was like, ‘Uhhh.’ And I’m like, ‘Whatever.’

Check out this chapters Nursery Rhyme/Girlie patty-cake song thing!

Tweedle, Leedle, Lee, Tree Top! Yo breath stinks! Rocking, in the tree top all day long! Huffin and a puffin and a singing this song! All the little birds on Jaybirds (???) street, Huffin and A Puffing going ‘Tweet, Tweet, Tweet.” Rocking Robin! Tweet, Tweedly! Rocking Robin! Tweet, Tweedly! Momma in the kitchen, cooking fried chicken! Daddy in Jail, Drinking Ginger ale. Brother in school acting like a fool, sister on the corner saying, ‘Please Review!’

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Disclaimer: I own nothing! But then again…I’ve got plausible Deniability

Summary: The students of Hogwarts to go see a psychiatrist! *Laughter* This will be fun!

A/N: Please read, and review! I’m sorry if this chapters lacking funny! I think it’s longer than normal! Don’t you? *Yay* And if you could…check out my other fic, “The Dragons Egg.” Unless of course you read it on FF.NET (267 reviews! *Is so happy*) but what’s the harm in reviewing again?

I’m not crazy!

(January 4)

Dr. Lipshitz and Dr. Shitzu stood in the middle of a small group of people, "Hello everybody. We would like to welcome you to the first group session."

"Why in the bloody hell did you drag me here, Virginia?"

Ginny turned to glare at her new boyfriend, "Just shut up and pay attention."

"What are we supposed to be doing?" Pansy asked, examining her fingernails closely.

"I'm glad you asked that Ms. Parkinson." Dr. Lipshitz smiled at everyone, "Today we have selected a few songs for you to listen to, and if at any time, one of you gets angry, let us know."

"What kind of songs?"

"Just…songs we picked out." Dr. Shitzu smiled at Harry.

Harry looked at Hermione who was staring back at him, "Hullo 'Mione."

"You say that as if we haven't talked in the last few minutes."

Harry shrugged, "Everyone has a problem with me these days."

Hermione rolled her eyes and looked at the psychiatrists. "Alright, this is the first song. Remember; if anyone is uncomfortable…please let us know."

Dr. Lipshitz pressed a button on some Muggle contraption he had set up. A group of kids' voices filled the air.

"The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout." Ron looked around at everyone, nervously. "Down came the rain and washed the spider out." Ron grinned, "Out came the sun and dried up all the rain and the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again."

"How come no one killed it?" He asked when Dr. Lipshitz stopped the tape.

"Because, Ronald, no one was there to. This was a spider in his home."

"And now, for the next song."

"I went down to the beach and saw Kiki she was like, 'Uhhh.' And I'm like, 'Whatever.' And then this chick comes up to me. She's all like, 'Hey aren't you that dude?' I'm like, 'Yeh whatever.'"

Hermione closed her eyes and counted backwards from ten, 'Don't have an outburst Hermione, don't!' She said to herself.

"So later I’m at the pool hall and this girl comes up and she's like, 'Ahh.' I'm like, 'Yeh, whatever."

"What is this nonsense?" Hermione stood up, "A song with improper grammar!? No wonder Lavender talks that way! She must think it's cool."

The song continued to play, "And its 3 A.M I'm on the corner wearing my leather and this dude comes up. He's like, 'Hey punk!' I'm like, 'Yeh whatever.'"

"Dr. Lipshitz, aren't we supposed to stop it now?" Dr. Shitzu looked at him.

"No…she didn't ask us to." They grinned at each other and looked over at the young girl who was turning red.

"Then I'm throwing dice in the alley and Officer Leroy comes up he's like, 'Hey I thought I told you…' And I'm like, 'Yeh whatever!' Then up comes Zafro. I'm like, 'Yo Zafro, What's up?' He's like, 'Dog!' I'm like, 'That's cool."

Dr. Lipshitz stopped the tape. "Hermione…are you alright."

"Am I alright?" She glared at him, "I think I just need some alone time." She stood up and walked into a corner and began calming herself down.

"Can we hurry and get this over with! I have things to do." Draco complained.

"Like what?" Ginny asked, "With whom?"

"You of course." He kissed her on the cheek when Ron wasn't looking.

"Listen up everybody! Listen up! We have one more song and after that we will discuss the problems we have with one another so maybe, just maybe everyone can be friends." Ron snorted as he looked at Draco.

"You are relating to a psychopath. Your role model is in therapy! You must be real far gone. You're relating to a psychopath!"

Luna's head snapped up and she looked around the room, 'Is this one for me?' She wondered.

"Noah's elephants are leaving the ark in eights. During the upside of my manic depressive state. Crickets sing in three part hamony."

"What's wrong with crickets!?" Draco shouted.

"Nothing Mr. Malfoy…nothing at all."

"I try to walk away. I choke and I stumble. I'm flying back so listen close when I mumble, that you are so good at keeping me company." Luna placed a hand over her ears, "You must be a psycho too. Love is butter won't you be my bread. That's what I said. Psychotic. Psychosis. My manic depressive state is great. On the upside. It's the love side."

"Well that was certainly rude! Gilderoy Lockhart is not psychotic! He will be back teaching very soon! You just wait and see!" Luna was now standing, "He's only visiting St. Mungo's! I even asked him in fan mail! He writes me back!"

Everyone stared at her, "Okay…Ms. Lovegood please…take a seat.”

“Pansy wants to know if we can get this over with soon because she has places to go, people to see.”

“Stuff it, whore.” Pansy stood up and glared at Ginny.

“What did you call Pansy?”

“Nothing, take a seat, try not to break the chair with your bulbous arse.”

“Have you been checking Parkinson out?” Ginny glared at Draco before rolling her eyes.

“Pansy thinks you should stop talking like…now.”

“Has Pansy ever heard of the words I or me?” Hermione asked, returning to her seat.

“Children, Children please! Pay attention!” Dr. Lipshitz clapped his hands together, “There seems to be a lot of tension in the room.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Harry slouched down in his seat (A/N: Yes, yes, I know barely anyone is in character, please…just stop reading if you don’t like it…it’s fan fiction, and this is comedy).

“Today, we will pick on person to go around the room and say something they dislike about everyone. Today, Ms. Virginia Weasley will start off, Virginia if you would please come to the center of the circle, and start with whom ever you would like.”

Ginny grinned and walked to the center. “Alright, I would like to start of with…Harry Potter.” She grinned evilly at him, “First of all Stinky Potter, it’s called a tooth brush, there is spinach that has been there since last week at lunch!”

“You all know what happened to my tooth brush! So please, just drop this, it’s getting old!” He stood up and was in Ginny’s face. “And how can I stop the problem if you don’t tell me what it smells like.”

Ginny put a hand under her nose, “It smells like ten pounds of get back!” She pushed him away from her and smelled the fresh air, “Ah, where was I? Yes, Her-My-Own-Ninny. What is it that you do when you wake up in the morning? Curly your hair, pluck those damn caterpillars, do something!”

“Caterpillars!?”

“Unibrow.” Hermione gasped in shock, “Oh please, how could you have missed it?” She turned her attention to her, much loved, brother, “Ronald…”

“Did somebody say, Mc Donald’s!?” Out of nowhere Crabbe and Goyle where in the room.

“What? No!” Ginny shook her head, “Can I finish anything in here without being interrupted?”

“Please do continue.” Dr. Shitzu made a motion with her hands.

“Luna, one out of every nine people is a nerd. You look around the room…and if you don’t see one…you’re it. I know you’re my best friend and all it’s just…get a life!” Ginny turned to face Pansy, “Where to begin…oh yes how about the Quidditch match?”

~*~ Flashback ~*~

Blaise Zabini threw the quaffle into the middle hoop, earning ten points for Slytherin. The Slytherins led Ravenclaw 70 to 40. Pansy and some of her Slytherin whore friends were on the Slytherin bleachers standing up in short, skimpy skirts.

Pansy smiled and blew a kiss up at Draco, he shuddered. She frowned before smiling again, showing off crooked teeth, “Totally! For sure! I just got a manicure! The sun, I swear! Is bleaching up my gorgeous hair! 22, 64! I don’t know the bloody score! Go Team! Fight, Fight! Gee I hope I look alright.”

~*~ End Of Flashback ~*~

“Are you mocking me? That cheer took a lot of hard work to come up with!”

Ginny rolled her eyes, “Malfoy…what happened to you’re hair? It looks as though someone pissed on you’re head…My friend said got stung by a Jelly Fish…That in turn would be the only reason for someone to pee on you’re head. Unless of course it’s some Malfoy ritual…Is that how you’re initiated into the group of Death Eaters?”

Draco glared at her, “Shut up, Weasley, if you know what’s good for you.”

“Alright kids, that is enough for this session! Please come back in a week, feel free to bring you’re friends!”

“This was a bloody waist of time.” Draco stood up and walked out of the room, everyone else following.

~*~

Please, when you are done reading this, look at this link! It’s the funniest thing in the world and I think it goes great with this fic! http://www.ebaumsworld.com/endofworld.html He, tell me what you think! And I think that’s it for now…Happy Belated New Year! I’m sorry that it’s taken so long for me to update this, and I know this chapter is probably really stupid, I just…I don’t know what to do with it anymore…*Gah* Ideas…anyone?

First song is just a nursery rhyme. Second is ‘My United States of Whatever.’ By Liam Lynch. Third is ‘Relating to a Psychopath’ by Macy Gray. (AH!)

Ms. Susie had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell. *Ding, Ding* Ms. Susie went to heaven. The steamboat went to hell-o operator; please give me a number nine. And if you disconnect me, I’ll chop of your behind the ‘fridgerator there laid a peace of glass! Ms. Suzie sat upon it, and broke her little ass-k me no more questions! Tell me no more lies! The boys are in the bathroom, zipping up their flies are in the meadow, the bee’s are in their hives! Ms. Suzie and her boyfriend are kissing in the D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K, Dark, Dark, Dark! Darker than the ocean, darker than the sea, darker than the underwear my mommy puts on me! My mother is Godzilla, my father is King Kong. My sister is the one who is asking for reviews!

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