Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 03/01/2004
Last Updated: 25/06/2004
Status: Paused
Hermione awakens to find out that her time of the month has indeed come. What is more than her potion, the wizard alternative to a muggle cure, has run out. What do you get when you mix an irritated Hermione, Confused! Harry and Flustered!Ron? Total chaos, that is what. Hogwarts better watch out as Hermione starts to leave her path of destruction. More fun heads our way when news of a first date reaches our ears. Where disaster and witty quips strike! Everyone and their mother is in it. And just who stole the potion? Also what's up with the Butterbeer?
Inevitable
Mixtures. That was probably where it all began. The mixture of combinations. Ingredients meshed up
to create something. A something that can lead to many conclusions. However, there were those that
the effect was so specific, it leads to something inevitable.
Much like the act of love between two people. Such as her parents since eventually her father’s
sperm collided with her mother’s egg cell. Thus this was then followed --
With great disgust she immediately stopped the train of thought. She recoiled inside the comfy
comforter of her four-poster bed. The mark of revulsion was still masking her face.
Mentally she reprimanded herself. No one should ever think of his or her parents engaging in that
act. It was like the unwritten rule of the offspring.
Perhaps this would teach her to stop reading that bloody biology book late at night.
She should have known that something unpleasant would result from that. Or at least the combination
of trying to cram extra muggle knowledge to her already stressed brain, would cause a
reaction.
The stress was starting to hamper her once fluid study manner. And little effects were starting to
appear out of nowhere. Like how her eye twitched that one day the great git boasted about--
A sudden pang hit her abdomen again. Her body shirked even more and her hands clutched her
stomach.
The pain reminded her of what awoke her from her once peaceful slumber.
Her feet then pushed her bed covers away. She forced her body to stand up.
She voiced out a painful groan as the pain became more intense. Her ice-cold fingers plucked her
wand away from the nightstand.
Another great pang wrenched her insides.
She spit out the incantation that called her day planner to her. Immediately the bulging notebook
landed in her lap.
Her fingers expertly turned to the marked date of today. A loud snort escaped her as she read the
quote for the day, “if you do it right, then you’ll be alright!”
“They could have written down something better,” she muttered to herself.
Her numb fingers then traced the ink engraved in the small page. Her pair of weary eyes before long
widened slightly at the little star in the top right hand corner.
“Oh no...”
She tossed her notebook away. Right now she did not care to turn back, even as she heard a loud
thunk and a slight groan from one of her roommates.
She tiptoed her way across the room to the small lobby that led to the loos. Instantly, the candles
flickered to life as her presence was announced. The mirror of the bathroom greeted her warmly but
with concern.
She paid no mind to the inanimate object because she was too busy rummaging through her shelf. Her
furious stare scrutinized every potion bottle. Finally she came upon the small bottle she was
searching for. Her throat produced a small squeal of relief, but was quickly quenched when she
inspected it closely in her hand.
The bottle that would cure her from her current pain was empty! Empty!
Her eyes widened for the umpteenth time as realization hit her. If she did not drink the potion,
then that meant she would have to use the muggle alternative...
Her breath quickly started to come out in large pants. Screaming started to sound lovely to her at
the moment.
“Dear is there something wrong?” The mirror asked in worry at the shaking teenage girl.
Hermione settled her trembling body on the floor. She watched as the small glass bottle rolled on
the stone floor. An empty glass bottle...
“Oh bugger...”
______________________________
“What do you mean you ran out!?!” Her shout vibrated around the Hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey merely
tutted at the action.
Hermione did not spend the last few hours awake with cramps to be told this. She waited until a
decent hour to come upon the Hospital Wing to automatically solve her problem and cure her from the
pain.
But it seemed that someone up there just did not like her. It was probably ‘Pick on Hermione
Granger’ day.
The nurse turned her back to her and simply waved her wand as the potion bottles settled on a high
shelf. The glass door then shut with a snap.
“If you do not keep your voice down Miss Granger--” the healer glared slightly at the flustered
girl “-- then I am going to ask you to leave.”
This only made an already annoyed Hermione bristle with more anger. Bad move.
“What is my talking going to do, wake up the pillows?” Hermione asked sarcastically.
The comment only served to make Madam Pomfrey purse her lips.
“Miss Granger, this kind of behavior is not acceptable here! We have other patients housed in this
wing that very well need their bloody rest! AND YOU ARE NOT HELPING MATTERS ANY!”
Hermione stood there slack jawed for a few passing seconds. Though she then recovered enough to
rebut against the now irritated nurse.
“Oh, and I suppose your yelling is very suitable and does not make you a hypocrite at all...”
Hermione had no idea what was taking over herself. Or who in the seven hells was coming up with
these responses. Which, she thought, were quite witty. But that was not her point.
Never would she in a million years answer so coyly to an authoritative figure, much less one that
she needed help from!
Yet, it was the nurse’s fault for not having a spare potion bottle of what she desperately needed.
It was not like she came here every time and demanded for every little thing.
Instead, she made her own potion to try not to burden the nurse. And the only bloody time
she asked for a tiny favor, just one potion bottle with said potion, the nurse came empty
handed.
Obviously, Hermione was not a happy camper.
“Out.”
The word made Hermione stare questionably at the nurse. “What do you mean out?”
“Miss Granger, have you lost your comprehension of the English language? When I say out and am
glaring at you, I mean for you to (this was said with some ridiculous hand movements) get
out!”
Hermione felt insulted and pouted her lips further. “I came here to get a cure not some
lecture.”
Madam Pomfrey’s hands were itching closer to the wand she dropped upon the nearest bed during their
talk.
“I already explained to you that someone beat you to the last bottle. I am in the middle of brewing
some but they are not going to be ready until tomorrow.”
The teenage girl did not relent from her furious glaring. She crossed her arms across her chest and
winced slightly at another pang occurring deep in her belly.
Madam Pomfrey’s gaze softened as she watched the girl in sympathy.
“But tell you what, there might be something I can do for you.”
Hermione’s eyes lit up with hope. She was still crouched in a half bent position since the pain in
her stomach was getting even worse. From an outsiders point of view, her position would appear to
be very awkward.
“Oh! Is it a spell?” Hermione asked with excitement. Perhaps the situation would not turn out so
bad after all.
Maybe, just maybe, the whole circumstance will rectify itself.
“Well...,” Madam Pomfrey said this slowly. “What I have in mind is indeed a spell....”
Hermione was getting quite impatient with the nurse. Why was she speaking with great
circumspection?
“Stop beating around the bush! What is the catch?”
The nurse’s nostrils flared out in indignation. Hermione’s logical side silently admonished her
behavior. Yet, she was irate enough to mentally push the voice away from her mind.
The pain was getting to be too much to bear.
“Never would I ever imagine such attitude from you. Perhaps this is because the influence of
today's youth. In my day -”
Hermione growled in impatience. Madam Pomfrey tutted but stopped in mid rant.
“The spell I am about to perform on you will only ease your pain slightly.”
Hermione plopped down on the floor in surprise.
“Slightly? You mean with all the magic in the world the only alternative to this hell every woman
experiences each month; there is only a single cure!?! In a bloody potion bottle that neither you
and I have?!?”
Madam Pomfrey sneered down at her pitiful form. She almost cackled at the aggravated teenage girl.
But she nodded her head at Hermione’s questions.
The girl’s eyes were now glittering with hopeless tears in response to the after mentioned
nod.
Perhaps Madam Pomfrey was being unreasonable in taking pleasure at the girl’s misfortune. But she
deserved it! No one ever talked to her in that way and this girl at least was paying up for
it.
Sure there might be another option to cure Hermione of this. Probably if she looked at the books in
her office closely, she might find one. But like hell she was going to offer it to the girl.
No one ever talked to her that way and got away with it.
“Now sweetie,” Madam Pomfrey slipped into a concerned façade. “Stand still or I might hit someone
else if you don’t. Oh and I have some muggle products out back that might help you with your
situation. You look like a small...”
_____________________
Hermione found herself waddling to the Gryffindor house table. Yes, she was waddling.
Silently she cursed the female body function. What did the female ever do to God? Why did they have
to endure this?
It was bloody uncomfortable settling down and using a pad. A pad that Madam Pomfrey kindly told her
had wings!
She felt the need then to grab the illustrious box of pads and smack Madam Pomfrey with it when the
nurse illustrated this detail. As if she gave a bleeding thought about it having wings!
She felt that the old nurse could no longer sympathize with her.
The nurse after all was the right age to no longer bear a child and therefore did not have this
particular hateful friend visit her every month.
“Hermione, where were you?”
Her anger settled for a minute as she gazed at Harry. Harry, that had his brow furrowed in concern
at her and had his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. Then there was the mess of
jet-black hair she adored from him, that was creeping down to his eyes. It was everywhere and her
hands itched to run her fingers through it.
Calm down, she had to remind herself. Quickly she plopped her body in the bench across from
him.
She grimaced as she felt that pad squelch. It was like having a diaper on. Honestly, why was she so
cursed!?!
“Are you okay? Are you feeling alright?”
Hermione took the piece of toast from his hand. Absently she smeared some jelly across it.
“I am alright Harry. Thanks for asking.”
Bless his heart for asking. She felt her heart quicken as he reached across the table and squeezed
her hand for assurance.
“Are you sure? You seem rather antsy at the moment.”
She merely forced out a smile. Her throat could not seem to be able to produce a single sound at
the moment, at least one that wasn’t something like a cross between a gurgle and sigh.
Harry’s hand retreated and he stared at her questionably. Hermione blushed furiously at his
reaction.
What was happening to her? Usually she was in control of her emotions and did not voice out
incoherent sounds at Harry’s touch. Well... at least not out loud.
Suddenly Ron, who she did not notice until right now, whipped his head around. He was still
chuckling from a conversation he had a few seconds ago with Seamus and Dean.
Slowly but eventually he acknowledged her.
“Oy! Where did you appear from?”
Hermione frowned at the greeting. “A good morning to you too...”
Harry watched his friends in concern. He felt that Hermione was not being fairly tolerant
today.
Call it instinct or the fact that Hermione’s eye twitched for a second.
He was not very keen on hearing both of them go at it way early in the morning. Their bickering,
although entertaining the first few seconds, really stressed his position as their best
friend.
“Anyway, Harry did I tell of this dream I had last night?” Ron absurdly questioned Harry. He
completely focused on the other boy and practically ignored Hermione that was glaring across the
table.
Harry shook his head no, which prompted Ron to launch into a full detailed analysis of the
dream.
Hermione hummed under her breath to block the loud exclamations from Ron. That way she could not
hear about what a girl did with her tongue with Ron in the dream. Really, the nerve of the boy! For
Merlin's sake they were eating!
The humming did not seem to be working. Her vocal cords tried to keep up with her mental command to
hum as loudly as possible.
A third year glanced in uncertainty at her. Though she paid no mind for her attention was
elsewhere.
Out of the corner of her eye she watched as Harry inched further away from Ron. His eyes gleamed
with amusement yet the blush in his cheeks indicated that he was embarrassed by what Ron was
practically broadcasting.
“...And then the girl said to me in this rather sensual voice. ‘Ron! I have never seen someone with
such a big--”
At this part, Hermione slammed her plate against the wooden table. Her right eye started twitching
and she tried her best to glare at Ron.
Ron watched her in worry. “Hermione I think you have something in your eye. You see it is
twitching--”
For the second time Hermione interrupted Ron. She slammed her goblet of pumpkin juice, spilling it
on the table and spraying Ron in the face.
He merely blinked back astonished and too shocked to say anything.
“RONALD WEASLEY! IF YOU WOULD CARE TO SEE PAST THAT HUGE HEAD OF YOURS; THEN YOU WOULD SEE THAT
HARRY CAN GIVE A BLEEDING THOUGHT TO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING! AND WE MOST CERTAINLY DON’T WANT TO HEAR
OF YOUR WET DREAMS! FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN, I THINK I LOST MY APPETITE WHEN THE THIRD GIRL ENTERED
THE SCENARIO!”
As you can see she abandoned her ‘let us hum and ignore Ron’ mantra.
Ron had the decency to blush as every head in the Great Hall turned to them. Hermione was
practically shaking when she finished. She nodded good-bye to Harry and stomped her way out of the
Great Hall in a dramatic exit, complete with the hair toss. Yet, part of the effect was ruined by
some sort of waddling she did.
As soon as she left, the shock wore off and an incessant string of laughter followed.
Ron then turned to Harry. Whom was trying his best to not laugh along.
“Harry is what she said true? Do you not care about what I say?”
The towering boy had a small pout that made him look like a little boy all over again.
Harry, instead of replying, coughed in his hand and said they were going to be late to class if
they did not hurry.
____________________________
She had no idea what was getting to her. Usually it was Ron who exploded first with his bottled
anger.
Then she followed and spit back what she thought. Though, usually her comments were less harsh and
vulgar.
Oh, she started to feel so ashamed. Humiliation was creeping down her spine as she remembered that
she yelled out ‘wet dreams’ in front of McGonagall.
Someone kill her now.
She glanced down at her watch. Instantly she groaned and picked up her pace as she dashed past
corridor after corridor.
She was going to be late to her class if she did not hurry. Regularly she was the first to arrive.
She mostly did this to claim the front spot and to read ahead for those precious few minutes before
class. After all, the NEWTS were just months away!
And the clock kept ticking. That meant every possible moment she could find, she would use to prop
open a book. Time could either be her friend or enemy.
And she desperately wanted it to be her ally.
However, today it seemed to harbor some resentment to her. Since things were most certainly not
going her way.
After her exit from the Great Hall, she automatically went to the owlry to owl her mum for advice
and some painkillers.
She feared that her previous altercation with the nurse meant that they weren’t on good terms right
now.
Therefore, she could not go to her for some potions to get rid of the lingering pain. Because the
spell that was cast upon her was going to wear off soon and like it did a fat load of help.
The situation was getting worse since her back started to ache the second she sent Hedwig
off.
She needed pain killers now. Some Midol or whatever it was...
She discreetly entered her History of Magic classroom. Her entrance was mostly not noted since most
of the classmates were rather drowsy. Even though this was a NEWT class, most were not attentive to
what the professor lectured.
But this was understandable since after all it was Professor Binn’s class. And the same people that
shared her pain of being in the classroom since first year stayed, even if the majority of them
bombed the OWL test.
It turned out that the class was still required to the misfortune of her peers, because the need
for some class credits —credits that were necessary to be present in job applications.
Yet, she would be surprised if more than two people besides her actually got full credit in this
class at the end of the year.
She then sat in a desk next to Harry’s. Who watched her appear and mouthed ‘what is going on’ to
her.
A lot of damn things were going on.
She shook her bushy mane and got out a sheet of parchment. Rapidly, she got out her favorite quill
as well and dipped it in the shiny black ink that reminded her so very much of Harry’s mop of
hair...
The quill scratched against the rough parchment. Quickly, she folded the tough parchment and threw
it at Harry.
An unsuspecting Harry got plowed with it. He frowned as he unfolded it. His fingertips traced the
words produced there, which made him even more confused then before.
Why would Hermione want some painkillers?
_________________________
The trio marched past the hallways and tried to squeeze themselves past the constant crowd.
Hermione felt Ron’s glare as a passing group muttered an altered version of ‘Weasley is our King’
with some added lyrics— lyrics that included the public revelation of what occurred during
breakfast.
Harry merely walked against her and managed to look at her with a dubious expression. The pain was
starting to intensify once again and her temper left much to be desired.
She was practically growling when they reached the dungeon floors that lead to Snape’s class. It
appeared that her brisk manner of cutting through the crowd won them a few minutes of free
time.
She clutched her stomach as one huge cramp hit her. Tears started to form in the corner of her
eyes. Harry dashed to her side and held her up.
She clenched her eyes closed, as the pain did not go away.
She then felt Harry’s cool fingertips brush her fringe back from her eyes. The feeling sent a trill
down her spine. This feeling helped her pain subside somewhat.
“Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing Hermione?”
All she could do was gaze endlessly at Harry’s emerald green eyes. How can someone have such green
eyes?
“No. I think I am fine.” She said this breathlessly as she was still in his embrace.
He nodded and awkwardly let her go. A mask of a blush colored his cheeks. He did not dare meet her
eye. Hermione kindly mimicked him.
Ron tutted and ruined the rather promising moment.
“Hermione what possessed you to shout that to the whole damn Great Hall!?! It was not a wet
dream!”
Hermione simply bit her lip and looked down in shame.
“Now they have this new verse to that cursed song! That I thought was forgotten and you come up and
bring it up! You know how much I hate it!”
Ron’s constant shouting was making her anger surface once again. Sure she knew that what she did
was out of hand. But it was one thing to know when to let go of something.
It was not like she can go back and change time. Well at least not without a time turner...
And plus, Ron was practically telling the whole Great Hall anyway. She only added her own
commentary to it.
“Now Ron, calm yourself. I am sure Hermione did not mean it.” Harry smiled at her as he said
this.
Hermione returned the smile. Ron gazed in aghast. He soon turned red in the face.
“What in the bloody hell is this?!? Why are you taking her side now?!? Why all of a sudden do we
have you two getting so close together like she is your lap dog or--”
He was cut off as Hermione’s hand slapped him across the cheek. Her cheeks were flushed with anger
and her eyes glinted dangerously.
Ron rubbed his cheek and suddenly knew how Malfoy felt in third year.
“YOU GRAND PRAT! WHY I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO A HUGE GIT LIKE YOURSELF!”
Hermione’s fists were clenched so tightly he could see her knuckles turning a whitish hue. Harry
came from behind her and laid a hand on her small back.
This caused Hermione to get herself in order for a few seconds. Her trembling lessened slightly.
Ron only gulped some more.
Hermione was practically breathing fire out.
But what was more to add to this scene, then the appearance of Draco Malfoy and his goons.
“Aw. Are Potty, Mudblood and Weasel having some relationship problems? Are you both bickering on
who will part the Mudblood’s legs first?”
Harry broke of his shock and sneered at Malfoy. His long graceful fingers curled into manly fists.
Fists that Hermione would not mind taking into her grasp...
Harry was in the middle of launching himself on Draco. But Hermione came to her senses and stopped
him with a glare. He stared at her addled and she only winked in response.
She pivoted around and gazed at Draco with an indifferent look that made her look lethal.
Her steps towards the pale boy were slow enough that Draco had enough time to look her over.
“Malfoy.” Her voice sounded stony like and with a hint of a seductive tone. This made Draco just
stare at her baffled with a mixture of distaste and interest.
“Like what you see?” Hermione deliberately swished her hips in a sensual way. Draco simply pulled
at his collar.
Hermione then tugged on his tie and grinned at the hint of lust in his eyes. Pansy seethed in anger
and the rest of the classmates gazed at the pair with curiosity and confusion.
Before Draco could produce a sound; Hermione jabbed her knee against his groin. Malfoy kneeled on
the floor and gasped for air.
“Don’t you dare speak to me or my friends that way, Ferret! Or else you would think that what I
have just done is a little prick once I am through with you.”
Malfoy crawled backwards from her and produced a rather girlish scream. Seamus snorted out
loud.
All the males in the room winced in sympathy as Hermione pulled her leg back, in preparation of
another blow. Dean could be heard in the background saying something about needing a bucket of
popcorn.
Pansy then rushed to her darling Draco. She crouched next to him for a few minutes. She glowered in
rage as she marched her way to Hermione.
“You little bitch! How dare you do that to Draco!”
Pansy stretched her claws and they were in great danger of being near Hermione’s face. It was at
this time that Harry stepped forward and grabbed Pansy’s wrist.
“Pansy,” Harry spoke carefully, “I would not do that if I were you.”
Pansy pouted but let go unwillingly. She sneered at Hermione who was trying her best not to show
the pain her cramps were bringing her.
But as soon as Pansy stepped away from Harry, a loud incantation was heard. Hermione was pushed to
the right hand side by Harry to avoid a stream of some yellow light.
Parvati shrieked as the beam landed on Lavender. Everyone watched as she cried out as her body
morphed around and shrunk into a...
“Bird! Lavender is a bird!”
And quite a pretty bird as well. Lavender had some maroon feathers that ruffled in indignation at
Malfoy. Slowly Lavender lifted her wings and flew straight at Malfoy,who was still holding on to
his wand. Lavender the bird pecked him repeatedly in punishment of being turned to a rather
luminous bird.
“Oh! Lavender we need to get you to the Hospital Wing!” Parvati continued to cry out.
Lavender the bird scowled as best as a bird could at the frightened Malfoy. But she ultimately
followed Parvati.
“And the pretty bird went bye-bye,” Dean commented.
Malfoy soon gathered what was left of his dignity and leaned against the wall. He stared at
Hermione with a light of fear.
“What is it with you woman! Is it your time of the month or something?”
Hermione would then later admire how gigantic and influential her anger was. Right now her
composure was shaking once again with this grand emotion. It only grew larger once Ron nodded in
agreement.
“For once Malfoy, I agree with you.” Ron continued to rub his cheek. Hermione noticed with glee
that her handprint was marked across his once pale cheeks.
Draco observed this as well. He shook his head in disbelief. “That is why we mates need to stick
together. To try to prevent this female aggression.”
He aristocratically wrinkled his nose in disdain.
“A woman should stay at home to serve their betters.”
Ron frowned and disagreed with an imperceptibly kind of headshake. “No, but they should appreciate
us.”
This was Hermione’s breaking point. She marched her way to both of them who seem to have inched
closer in their male bondage talk. Her index finger poked each of them in the chest with each point
she made.
“Do you realize that I am still here along with some female classmates! If you are going to insult
the whole female race, then I suggest you do it properly!”
The rest of the girls continued to cheer on Hermione and glare at the two boys.
“I feel sorry for whoever decides to stand close to your stench! You repulse me! Both of you
wouldn't know the meaning of a relationship if it was naked and dancing the can-can on your
head while wearing a feathered boa hat! And I wouldn’t be surprised since your ignorant and
opinionated minds are obvious!”
Hermione took in a deep breath and was going to continue her tirade if it was not for a soft
cough.
Everyone turned to see their Potion’s Professor gliding his way to them. About bloody time
too!
“Miss Granger are you finished?”
Snape curled his lip at her. His coal black eyes eyed the corridor in aversion.
“Well if you interrupted me then I can hardly be finished, can I?”
Hermione’s logical side just whimpered in despair. But she had had enough of all this unfair
treatment she had to endure. The gleam in her eye strengthened; she was taking a stand and it was
worth whatever consequences were thrown her way.
Snape had a smirk on his face. “20 points from Gryffindor for molesting two classmates.”
Hermione started to chuckle in disbelief. “What? I did not molest anyone.”
“I care to debate that. From what I see, the possibilities of there being Draco Jr.’s running
around have decreased.”
Harry stood next to her and voiced out in a loud whisper. “Thank Merlin for that.”
If possible, Snape’s smirk grew bigger. “Mr. Potter, you will be joining Miss Granger in visiting
the Headmaster for your punishment.”
Harry gaped in disbelief at the Professor. “Why? What did I do?”
“For sitting there and looking pretty.”
___________________________________
Hermione squirmed for the billionth time in the comfy chair. But at the moment it was very much
acting like some hard metal chair.
Harry continued to stare at some odd bird’s perch. But every once in a while, when he thought she
was not looking, he would stare at her. Ah, there he went at it again.
“Harry, stop doing that.”
He crinkled his brow at her. “Stop doing what?”
“If you want to stare at me, go ahead. I don’t mind”
Oh, she had never seen someone turn red so fast. She took great pleasure at his sudden
squirming.
“I was not staring...” He mumbled this so low that she just caught it.
She then experienced a churning in her stomach that had nothing to do with her cramps. What was
going on with her?
But she knew deep down why her reaction was what it was. Her attraction to her best friend started
out subtly but it became more pronounced to her as the years passed by. Especially last year, when
she thought she lost him in the last battle.
Her doubts about these kinds of feeling for him disappeared, when she rushed to his side the day he
fell.
She remembered that night, detail by detail. How could one not? After all that night was a turning
point to her, a realization point of her love for him.
She slouched further in her seat as tears started to run down her face. Her hormones were going
haywire, the combination of the pain her period was bringing her and Harry’s lack of reaction,
brought her to the point of tears.
She heard a chair scrape back, but she was too into her own pity to pay it mind. Only when someone
joined her in sitting in the same seat did she acknowledge him.
He pulled her into his lap as he settled in the same arm chair.
“Hermione what’s wrong? Don’t cry, please don’t cry.”
His pleading just made her tears run faster down her face. Harry looked at her with an odd
expression before he brought his hands up to her cheek and wiped away the random tears.
She sniffled a little.
“Now, I am not going anywhere. So you might as well tell me what has been troubling you all
day.”
She had to fight the strong urge to grab his chin and kiss him senseless. Her heart fluttered at
his touch when he ran his hands over her tense back.
Alarm bells were going off in her head as he continued to slowly rub her back. Her body relaxed
under his lingering massage. She did not notice his hands trembling as he did this.
“Go on Hermione...”
At Harry's inquiring look she started to launch into a full on explanation. She told him of how
the cramps started in the morning. How Madam Pomfrey failed to deliver and how the pain was ever
going. She gestured with her hands the full analysis. At parts Harry would choke out and cough. She
would then blush at his blush, yet she continued explaining and Harry did not stop her.
Once she finished, he gazed at her, not with a sympathetic look but an empathetic one. She had also
come to love how his graceful hands worked out the knots over her aching back.
She had to hold back a moan of pleasure when he dug his finger tips in the right place.
“I never knew you could purr Hermione.”
Damn it, it was impossible not to voice out her pleasure when he did that. She set her head
downcast.
“Where does it still hurt?” He asked her.
She pointed at her abdomen and said nothing. His hands then left her back. For a moment a mask of
disappointment covered her face.
But he brought those wonderful hands of his to her belly. Slowly, just like he had done to her
back, he rubbed it in lazy circles.
Hermione met his shy gaze as he continued to stroke her. He bit his lip as his hands started to
retreat, but her hand latched on his. Therefore causing him to halt.
“Please--” Hermione choked out “--continue. It feels better than those dratted potions.”
He flashed her a small boyish grin that made her completely forget about her previous pain. He
continued on with their display but both of them jumped apart when the door opened.
An unsuspecting Dumbledore gazed at the two teenagers that were tangled in a rather compromising
position.
The twinkle in his eyes grew as he said, “I was not interrupting anything, was I?”
A/N: This fiction took me a load of time to write. Mostly because I wanted to fit in every idea
I had about it. This fiction was prompted by a challenge at Portkey. The “that time of the month”
one. I really wanted to do this since I just wanted to write a carefree fiction for once. One that
was not as serious as my previous works. I hope you liked it. Anyway I am not done. I promised to
tie in this challenge with another. So I am going to be working on the second chapter. On a last
note I want to thank my betas: MD and Teena. Thank you guys and thanks for reading.
Inevitable: Innuendo
She should have known to have kept her big mouth shut. After all how hard was that? Apparently it
was an arduous task for her.
Did she not notice that she was after all talking to Parvati and Lavender? I mean, that should have
at least set off some warning bells.
“What do you mean he rubbed your back?!?” Parvati’s shrieking did wonders to her ear drums.
Both Hermione and Lavender grimaced. She tried her hardest to be concealed behind her four poster
curtains. Though before she could draw them completely shut, Lavender chanted a spell that caused
her to be frozen in place.
Sure, she can face Death Eaters and Dementors. But to try to get past Lavender and her gossip was
near impossible.
“Aw, Hermione you should know better than to try to keep things from me.” Lavender wagged her
finger at an irritated Hermione.
She tried her best to glare at both girls in her position. Though the combination of doing that and
being in a full body bind caused the glare to be cross-eyed.
Lavender released a string of guffaws as Parvati cackled in the background.
“Now dearest Hermione,” Parvati said this with a flutter of her lashes, “you must give us the
exclusive on what you meant by this parchment.”
As if she could even talk right now! Did they forget she could only grunt and add a few more
incoherent noises at the moment? And only to that extent.
Parvati extended a pointed finger towards her night stand. The one with the offending parchment
that she fancied to tear in pieces.
As if listening to her silent evil plan, Lavender grabbed the little bugger. She watched as the
blonde girl smirked in her direction.
“Don’t you dare try to deny what came out of your mouth and weasel your way out of it.” She winked
and held that dratted paper close to her.
If only her glare could burn a hole through it! Burn!
The blue-eyed girl started to recite what the slab of tree contained, but she did not need to hear
its contents. After all, she did write it.
The words flowed through her brain as the encounter or moment swirled through her mind. The way
Harry used those hands of his and rubbed her in places...
Those same dratted hands inspired furious plot bunnies to rampage through her every thought. Even
in potions when he flexed them and cut caterpillars. Who knew that cutting caterpillars would
produce such naughty thoughts?
Thoughts that her quill exclaimed to be put in parchment. Rolls of parchment.
Thank goodness that she hid such stories, that had them in even worse compromising positions
then that eventful day, under her mattress.
To be firm in her belief of where they were stationed, she wiggled, as best as she could, her
bottom right on top of said place. Her body would have to prove to be a barrier to such material
hidden away beneath her. Thank Merlin for gravity and Lavender’s weak body bind. Also that both
girls did not have X-ray vision!
But it seemed that was where her luck ended. Last night she stupidly pulled the parchment (that
started all this invasion of writing notorious tales of both of them together) out. Unfortunately
she forgot to put it back with her other additions.
She just wanted to relive that monumental moment again. And read the alternative ending she so
carefully jotted down.
Though honestly, was it that bad to scribble down how Harry’s hand journeyed south to her—
She was after all a sexual creature with sexual desires. It was only natural.
She would be denying her teenage hormones if she posed as a nun all her life. Yes, that was her
argument. It only made sense...
“Oh! Parvati, it looks like someone,” Lavender pointedly glanced at Hermione. Subtle, real
subtle. “—has been withholding information from us.”
The black haired girl plopped her body near Hermione’s feet. Did they have no decency? This was her
bed, and that meant private property.
She did not want their nosy arses tainting her sheets.
“Hermione, you sound horrible when you grunt.” Lavender tossed her hair to the side. “It is so
unladylike. I mean, next thing you know, you are going to—”
The teenage girl widened her eyes in horror as she paused in her rant. Quickly, as it was so
horrible to say it out loud, she whispered, “snort.”
Hermione did just that to annoy them.
Parvati rolled her eyes and inched closer to Lavender. Her eyes skimmed the writing but abruptly
her eyes widened so much; Hermione mistook them as two brown saucers.
“He rubbed your belly too! Oh my gosh!”
The two girls traded looks, in a silent communication of what such an action meant. Hermione only
squirmed more as the spell started to wear off.
Lavender then started tutting. “And that is not all. It appears that there is some addition to this
tale. Apparently a paragraph beneath the ‘rubbing belly/back’ scene we have... a snippet of a first
date!”
Hermione’s cheeks blushed furiously. Please let them just stop at that part. Her gut wrenched in
humiliation and with every ounce of determination, she broke the spell and raced to both
girls.
Her hands grabbed the slick parchment greedily. Both girls only gaped at her as they watched her go
on rampage.
“Now that was just rude of you Herms...”
Hermione glared at both girls. “Rude? What is rude of you both is going through my things without
my consent!”
Parvati waved her hand in nonsense. “Oh please. You practically gave us permission when you said
the parchment was yours.”
Hermione rolled her eyes at this logic. “Then I suppose once you say that those breasts are yours,
I can have my way with them then?”
The Indian girl quickly crossed her arms across her chests. “Though it might be a disappointment
for you and females everywhere to hear, I do not swing that way.”
How conceited can one be?
Hermione slapped a hand on her right breast in mock mortification. “I am deeply crushed, I hope you
know that as we speak the world is crying.”
Lavender did not look too pleased with this display.
“We can discuss your sexual preferences later. Right now let us get back to the matter at
hand.”
Parvati huffed out in indignation but nodded her head.
Both girls were side by side and stared down at the bushy-haired girl. She merely blinked back in
response.
“Is it true that you, Hermione—” Lavender bit her lip in concentration “—drat, I don’t remember
your middle name.”
Parvati then sat her bottom on her nightstand and swung her feet slightly. Really, there were more
appropriate places to set her buttocks on!
“Whatever” -- Lavender continued -- “ it does not matter. Is it true that you wrote fan fiction of
you and your best friend?”
“Ron?” Hermione blinked back innocently as if she had no idea what the girl was going on
about.
“You know very well what we mean!” Parvati yelled out, irritated. She glanced at her nails in
inspection while she spoke.
“Okay, so I just wrote a bit of what Harry and I have done. Is that such a crime?”
Lavender smirked once again. The girl glanced at her reflection in a slide mirror propped near a
vanity. Damn, she looked good in an evil pose. She should do it more often in front of those
Ravenclaw boys. Lord knew they needed more adventure in their lives.
By offering her services, she would contribute to the greater good. How incredibly unselfish of
her! But that would be her mission later. Now her help was so desperately needed in this pitiful
case.
“I don’t recall you and him ever going on a date that ended with a kiss in the common room.”
Lavender’s eyes glittered with a prospect. “Unless you have been sneaking out and doing more of
these things.”
Parvati’s mouth formed into an ‘oh’.
“Shut it you two.” Hermione pulled her wand out in a threatening pose. She flicked it for an
effect. Both girls stood still and watched the wand warily.
“But, he really rubbed your belly? Hermione that is a sign!”
Hermione quirked an eyebrow at that, thus allowing Parvati to continue her exclamation.
“I mean, first let’s concentrate on the direct area. The belly is right above what?”
A few seconds passed before Lavender squealed. “By Merlin, Parvati! There is just no end to your
brilliance.”
Parvati smiled and nodded once again. “I know, there is no need to tell me about it!”
“What are you both on about? What does rubbing my belly mean?”
Lavender sighed in exasperation.
“Hermione you have much to learn. This is such an obvious sign! I mean it is like wearing black
lingerie!”
Hermione frowned, still confused.
“What? So I own black panties and a bra.” She shrugged her shoulders as she told them this.
Parvati leaned forward and suspiciously asked, “With black lace?”
Hermione inclined her head. So what if they had lace?
Both girls gasped out loud.
“Oh my,” Parvati held a hand to her mouth in shock. “It seems as if we are dealing with a totally
different matter now, Lav!”
Before the blonde haired girl could answer, Hermione chanted a spell that repelled both of them off
her bed. She watched with some satisfaction as they landed with hard smacks on the stone
floor.
She stood up on her mattress and summoned the parchment to her hand. Her eyes glinted dangerously
at them both.
“If I catch wind that any of our conversation gets out, then you both would regret
it!”
Lavender pursed her lips but her eyes glittered with mischief.
“Okay Hermione...” Her voice drawled out.
___________________________________
The fire crackled quietly as the students bustled around the common room. Hermione would sneak
glances every once in a while at the terrible duo.
They would meet her glare with a wide smile on their faces and a frantic wave of their hands.
Harry caught this as well. He wrinkled his nose in worry at the scene.
“Hermione, do you know why Lavender and Parvati are flapping their arms about like that?”
Hermione shook her head slightly. “No. Must be some new thing from Teen Witch on how to get boys,”
she said this distractedly.
He was inches away from her. Her eyes inspected the scene and calculated the distance. They were
approximately five inches apart from being right on top of each other.
You know, that did not sound half bad...
If she just edged a little closer she could get her hand near those sweet apple bottom cheeks. The
pants he had on stretched and defined his thighs very well. The sinewy muscle was very apparent
when she was within spitting distance from him.
Suddenly, she felt that the room warmed up quite a bit. What in the cursed name of Merlin did the
damn ickle firsties do to the fire this time?
“Hermione? Are you alright?”
Harry’s hand was inching closer to her... belly. She whipped her head around to the clueless duo.
They gave her a thumbs up. Parvati was jumping up and down mouthing something incoherent, but
looked like ‘sign’.
She rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time and muttered a ‘yes’ as she redirected her focus towards
Harry. Which wasn’t all that hard or discouraging to do. Especially since this very occasion had
him wearing Quidditch pants, worn and very snug Quidditch pants to be a bit more precise.
His face was now etched into a look of exasperation as he squirmed around in the couch. Hermione
had to force herself to automatically look away when she discovered a small tear near his...
ahem.
“You know, I should really buy a new pair of Quidditch pants. I could have sworn I felt a rushing
breeze near my—” he gestured around his ahem that Hermione had been looking at too much lately “—at
practice today.”
“Well it was quite chilly today, so it could have just been that,” Hermione briskly said.
“Yeah, it might have been that.” And so an awkward silence followed. Both were turned sideways to
face each other and stared. Somehow Hermione did not dare to look away, even when her eye started
twitching.
After a few minutes of continuous straight out staring, and in Hermione’s case twitching, the
strained moment was broken up by a loud plop of Ron’s body dropping in. The couch shook and one of
the cushions flopped upwards, causing Hermione to land on the floor.
She swore she heard her back crack.
“Whoops, sorry Hermione, I honestly didn’t mean to do that.” Ron loomed over her and looked a bit
frightened as he stretched his arm out for assistance on getting up.
Hermione let out a series of grunts and looked wrathfully at the red head.
The surrounding Gryffindors inched closer as they watched in curiosity. Dean was heard smacking his
hands together and cheering, “Right on! Are you guys going to have another go? I really need to get
some snacks prepared for these happenings.”
Even if she was not at that point of the month, this loud comment made Fire-Breathing Hermione
surface just a tad.
“Dean,” she said this slowly, “if you appreciate these ‘happenings’ so much, well I might have a go
with you then. It is only proper, don’t you think?”
Hermione fluttered her eyelashes as Dean gulped and dashingly rushed to the farthest corner from
her. Inwardly, she cheered herself on. She still has not lost her touch.
Meanwhile, as Hermione was congratulating herself on another successful mission of scaring off
potential boyfriends, Harry was positively sweating as he continued to glance at Hermione.
Ever since that day of unnecessary revelations and actions, he felt funny around her.
Perhaps he always did, but now he was noticing it everyday. His stomach would flop when she
exchanged a smile with him. And then something else happened in his lower regions when she
skipped towards him after another winning Quidditch match and her... er, body parts, really nice
round body parts, would bounce around.
Oh no, there he went at it again. What would she say when she heard that her best friend was a
bloody pervert? And that quite liked when she ran around—Erk! He should stop this...
sometime.
But it had to stop. Not because he wanted to, oh no, Harry Jr. would care to add that in. But he
really needed to. Goodness, he couldn’t look at her straight for a whole week after an
incident in Herbology when she unbuttoned a few buttons of her blouse(because it was a hot day) and
bent over, thus allowing a voyeuristic Harry some view of her—
Stop!
Mentally he coached and reminded himself once again that Hermione was not some piece of meat or a
girl on a PlayWizard magazine that Neville tried to hide under his mattress. Harry often wondered
what Neville’s Gran would say when she discovered that Neville was not all that innocent
anymore.
Okay, don’t reminisce anymore. Gather up your famous courage and face...her.
He started to fancy having another go at some Hungarian Horntail instead of facing the prospect of
asking Hermione out. But it didn’t matter. He had to do it now. The Hogsmeade trip was scheduled in
approximately thirty-four hours and some odd forty seconds, but who was counting?
However...what if she was already asked by someone else? Someone that braved it and would have the
chance of being accepted to link his arm through hers and skip off to the sunset with her...
He would kill the bastard.
Courage. Okay, he could do this. He was Harry Potter. The Boy- Who- Lived. Winner of Witch Weekly’s
Charming Smile and Teen Witch’s Man Veela Wizard for two years in a row. He was also right now
Harry-That-Is-About-To-Piss-In-His-Pants-At-Any-Given-Moment. But that is a bit longwinded.
Breathe, you can do this.
He started to cough in his hand. Ron would understand this signal. He would know that now was the
time to bugger off.
So why was the git still there? More coughs.
“Mate, care for a cough drop? I got some... somewhere.” Ron dug through his cloak pockets. Harry
could care less about some dreaded cough drops. He already had a pack of lemon ones from
Dumbledore, thank you very much!
“Ron, don’t you have someplace to be?” He stressed through tight-lipped lips.
“Er. No, not really. Why?”
His hands clenched as he continued. “Yes, you do. Because you have to do that
something.”
“Mate, where are you hearing these things? Making up conversations in your head again?”
If he could paint a neon sign on his chest with the words ‘Ron, bugger off now so I can embarrass
myself in a bit with Hermione’ he felt Ron would still blink and ask why.
“Ron,” he plastered a fake smile, “remember what I told you about two weeks ago? That I might just
do something and ask someone something?”
Hermione frowned at this exchange. “What is it with all these ‘somethings’ and ‘someones’? Are you
guys keeping something from me?”
“Harry I can barely recall what I ate yesterday, you expect me to go back and...oh!” Ron’s eyes
widened as Harry started to feel that this night and his purpose was a lost cause.
“Er, yeah I just remembered I had to, uh, I, er—” Ron frantically glanced around the common room.
“—had an appointment with Parvati and Lavender on discussing Teen Witch Weekly’s September
edition!”
With that, Ron rushed to the aforementioned people.
Thus leaving him with an irritated Hermione. She had her arms crossed across her chest, which made
her breasts bunch together and—damn puberty!
“What is going on Harry? You better tell me.”
He then looked down as he fidgeted under Hermione’s inquiring stare. Why had he never noticed the
intricate patterns found in the Gryffindor carpet before? They were so fascinating!
“Harry! Answer me, damn it!”
He really wanted to. But somehow, quite coincidentally, he lost the ability to speak. Hermione,
don’t you understand?
He would want to speak to her for hours and hours of his time, not because he already does, but
because it is his desire. Although he could only stare down at his hands as he inspects what a
short lifeline he has. Maybe Trelawney was right about it...
“Harry, if you do not look up and tell me this second, I will get that wand of yours and gouge your
eyes with it,” Hermione growled.
She was such a sweet tempered girl.
“Well, I just wanted to er, ask you something.”
This was going much better than those few times with Cho. At least he paused after every other
word.
An inquisitive look marked her features. “Yes, what is it?” She said this much more calmly and less
aggressive as she was a few seconds ago.
“If you wanted to, er, possibly... go with me to Hogsmeade.”
There, it was out now. The cat was out of the bag, as a Muggle might say. She would know what that
meant. After all she was a Muggleborn. Okay, quit rambling nonsensical things.
“But...Harry, I always go to Hogsmeade with you,” she replied puzzled.
Oh come on Hermione! Of all days to be clueless! Honestly, God was probably doing this on purpose.
Or maybe Voldemort was exacting his revenge from hell.
Payback is a bitch, probably what Voldemort would say to him as his reply. Sure.
“I meant—” inhale, exhale, “—if you wanted to go with just me and you. Not with Ron, because that
would defeat the purpose, (He gave out a quivering laugh. Har-Har his arse.) But on a date.”
He wrung his fingers around. They would not stop shaking and now they were getting sweaty...oh
bother.
“Oh! Oh,” she squeaked out. A silly grin made its way across her face. He was almost
relieved when she nodded. But that was before her smile turned into a frown. Uh oh.
“Wait...You mean to tell me that Ron already knew about this? That you told him and possibly others
that you were going to ask me out?”
Er, was that a bad thing? He just told them because he needed advice on how to approach her. He
nodded his head, hesitantly.
“About how many people know?”
Uh. Quite a few? Possibly Seamus, Dean, Neville, and they might have told their girlfriends. Which
in turn could make them reveal the information to those giggly girls and... Wow, talk about the six
degrees of separation! No wonder news spread so quickly around Hogwarts; it was impossible not
to.
“You mean to tell me that I might be the last to know?!?”
If she put it that way...
“You gigantic dolt! I can’t believe that you waited and asked me this when the Hogsmeade trip is in
two days and—”
“—Actually it is in thirty four hours,” he kindly interjected.
Hermione looked ruffled as she threw her hands up in the air. Then she stomped her way up to the
girl’s dormitory as she muttered ‘Harry’ and ‘prat’ every once in a while.
He sat there still not sure on whether to be worried or not. As he pondered these confusing
emotions the terrible duo took an ottoman from a couple of second years ( “Hey, we were using
that!” “Sod off kid, we have important matters to attend to.”) and set it across from a bewildered
Harry.
“Harry,” Lavender began, “sweet, lovable Harry. We couldn’t help but hear such colossal and awfully
good news of you and our lovely Hermione going out on a date.”
Lavender always had a thing for adjectives.
“Well, I am not sure on the good part but awful? Possibly.”
Parvati made a disbelieving noise. She shoved Lavender off the plush pouffe. Really, the girl was
hogging it!
“Look Harry,” Parvati interrupted, “given your experience on these kinds of circumstances, we
thought we would offer our gracious help, to actually make the first date work.”
Harry tried not to look green as the encounter of his date with Cho swirled through his
memory.
“How are you so sure your advice will help? I mean no offense, but Hermione and you two are really
quite different and have different tastes.”
At this point Lavender grinned impishly. “Oh trust me Harry. Trust me when I say we have
exclusives on what Hermione desires.”
Harry frowned in thought. “Alright, tell me tomorrow, I am feeling a bit drowsy...”
With that, he lifted himself upwards and walked to his dorms with his backside in full view.
Parvati opened her mouth to comment on a tear she spotted, that might as well embarrass him, but
Lavender smacked her hand across her mouth.
Quietly Lavender whispered in her friend’s ear, “Even though he might be Hermione’s it does not
mean we can’t admire fine specimens... such as he. ”
And so both girls let him walk on, with their eyes following his every move until he disappeared
from sight.
_____________________
She should be getting use to this. Maybe this was a sign. Coincidence? No, she had one too many for
it to be considered a coincidence.
“Sweetie, isn’t it a bit late for you to be here?”
Hermione shook her head and rubbed her eyes.
“So we meet again, dear mirror. You should probably start getting use to these nightly visits...you
want to know why?”
The mirror merely stood there. It couldn’t shake its head no.
“Well don’t just stand there and stare!” Hermione snarled out loud.
“I think that is quite impossible for me not to do that, dear.”
Hermione leaned against the stone wall. Out of nowhere she started to chuckle. She then lifted her
body against the counter and continued with her now maniacal laughter.
If the mirror was some animate object it would move to the farthest corner from this bipolar
person. And she was such a sweet tempered girl in the beginning. What the hell did Hogwarts do to
her?
“Someone is out to get me,” Hermione slammed her fist against the counter. The mirror tried to
wince for her. Gracie could only watch the teenage girl hop around while cursing to oblivion.
“Even the damn counter hates me!” Hermione sobbed as she crawled down on the floor.
“Don’t be so cynical...” Gracie feared for her life when Hermione suddenly pointed her wand at
her.
“No, I am optimistic, really I am. Because I can always find the damn silver lining in each dark
cloud,” she answered sarcastically. “But tell me mirror, what is the bright side to this? Ready to
hear it?”
Gracie seriously considered telling the girl to sod off. But she simply stayed silent.
“Okay, well as you might recall some two nights ago, as I am sure you know with all the effing
gossip here...Harry asked me out.”
Well, how did the girl not expect her to know that? After all, they pretty much underestimated
their ability to spice up the gossip columns. Lord help them if they found out about the betting
column that McGonagall had going on in her office about when they were going to get together.
Really, it first stunned her that McGonagall of all people would start that, although it wasn’t all
that surprising if one thought about it.
Gracie wondered who won...She would have to ask Violet later.
“—Anyway here I am fretting and getting everything prepared, so I won’t look all that bad or have
the date go down in shambles, right?”
Gracie made an encouraging noise for her to go on. Poor girl, she had to let off some steam. She
knew that what happened a month ago still sent Malfoy into convulsive shivers. Poor boy, he should
have never crossed Hermione’s path. It was always the quiet ones.
“—Of all the days for it to happen, it started tonight! Or today, the damn day that I am going to
go out with Harry! So my first thought is to go to my cabinet and swallow the potion, but guess
what?”
Gracie really didn’t want to know. But Hermione insisted as she started again with that disturbing
laugh.
“It was gone! Poof! Out of sight!”
If the girl was someone other than Hermione, Gracie would say the girl was stashed on something.
What shock did to the girl...Gracie shook her virtual head, as close as it gets.
Out of nowhere Hermione started to make her way towards the mirror. She had on a lingering sneer
that made Gracie feel quite uncomfortable.
“Mirror –Gracie is it? (“Yes,” piped Gracie.) Ah, you know I was always fond of you.”
Oh no, this wasn’t looking good for Gracie.
“A smart mirror like you always takes notice of things around here, don’t you?”
Was it too late to try to switch to being a mirror in the prefects bathroom?
“What do you want dear?” Gracie tried to not sound mouse-like when she said this. Her gaze was
fixed on the wand that the girl was twirling around with her thumb and index finger.
“You would know certain things, wouldn’t you? Like perhaps,” Hermione tapped her wand against her
chin in mock deep thought. “Well I don’t know let’s just say, hypothetically of course, that you
might know who keeps stealing my bloody potion?!?”
What did she ever do in her past life? Goodness!
“I am, as a bathroom mirror, entitled not to reveal any private information or what happens here in
my presence.”
Gracie started to feel relieved, but it was all out of false hope. Hermione whipped her wand around
and had an odd glint in her eye when she spoke:
“Then I suppose if I do a charm that might blow you to tiny Gracies, that will be kept in
private?”
Gulp. She really stuck herself in this one.
____________________________
A/N: Now, the pick up
lines were inspired from what many PK mates know as the infamous Gutter Saturday. It was a
wonderful day and I decided to honor its memory. So this fic is dedicated to Aramas(You flirt!
Where ae you, by the way?), Jack(Maker of one of the best HP pick up lines), Kalie(Scarlet Woman!
:p) and Daniela(Vanilla puf), since you made me a nifty arm warmer. Nitya for enduring my rants on
how I was losing my sanity over this chapter. Let’s not forget Lauren(Tic Tac)! My review partner
in crime! Shh, keep it on the down low... :p And MD for being my beta slave. Also this goes out to
all the Wonks!
Inevitable: Part Three
Okay, maybe she was being a tad vicious. Blame it on the pain, blame it on the unfairness of it
all. Usually she wasn’t so aggressive. Regularly she was the opposite of this person she would
transform into monthly, well for the past two months, including this one.
Perhaps this huge change was the result of her being so submissive and tolerant of all the things
that came her way. Maybe all those snarky comments, pressure, and sheer tension made her feel so
aggravated, that her emotions and hormones no longer could manage keeping it all in.
Hormones, she recalled, were really quite a remarkable thing.
And so she paced around the minuscule space surrounding her four-poster bed. Of course it was
rented so it really wasn’t hers per say, but she wasn’t supposed to think about
semantics.
At least not concerning her lack of property at the moment. That thought process can come after her
NEWTS so full-fledged panic can hit once again. After all she can’t cope without the constant
stress that seemingly inhabitated her life. Stress-free Hermione? Talk about unnatural.
But it would have been nice to just have one less thing to agonize over.
Again she must remind herself to send a letter to that special someone up there. THANK YOU FOR
MAKING MY LIFE HELL, PLEASE CONTINUE DOING SO! YOU ARE DOING A BLOODY FANTASTIC JOB!
Grumble, grumble.
She rubbed her wrist unconsciously. It still hurt even after an hour of what happened. Who knew
that the mirrors had a protective charm? Bloody Dumbledore... it was his fault she couldn’t
demolish Gracie properly.
Nevermind that it was there(the charm) to protect these defenseless objects from psychos like
her.
Sure mirrors got protection, but what the House Elves? Biased bastard... Meddlesome bastard as
well, she still had not forgiven the old man for that.
Again with the grumbling, she was entitled to it. She deserved to throw a pity-party. After all the
trauma she had endured...
Time of the months, getting a huge spot on her nose, the unrequited love she had going on for
ages... and who can forget Harry being so tactless? He should thank his lucky stars that she liked
him a lot.
Honestly!
Asking someone on a date thirty-four hours before and clueing everyone else in but her. Talk about
her pride...
She needed a pity-party badly. What else was there to grieve over?
Oh yeah, there was the whole almost-dying-every-year issue. Bah, nevermind her pity-party... Harry
needed one badly as well.
Especially after tonight. The horror the boy will go through with her at this kind of temper, and
without her potion too...
Maybe after their date? No, no... it was going to be all right. Everything was going to go
okay.
She would make sure of that. Ha! No period was going to come between her and her man...
Right?
______________________
Hormones would be the death of him.
Yes, he had finally decided on that outcome. How could he not when Hermione would go off in these
hissy fits? He didn’t really see what he did wrong.
To his credit, he asked her if she would accompany him on a date without using any of those cheesy
pick-up lines that Dudley’s favorite programs would churn out constantly. He didn’t go via the
Lockhart route(i.e. acting like the greatest prat to walk the earth) nor did he command her to go
on a date with him like she was some cow.
And don’t forget, he didn’t use any pick-up lines. To name a few:
* Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
* You should be in Azkaban. It has to be a crime to look that good.
* I think I must've got hit with a Bludger, because I've been dazed since you walked in the
room...
Not like he really concentrated on remembering them... they-they just stuck on like leeches. Yes!
Great analogy, he should applaud himself on his originality.
Plus the Muggle ones were great blackmail material to use on Dudley to remind him that he knew that
he watched soap operas...
However there was no use denying that some of them were drawn out with great thought, like:
My wand is made for more than just charm work, you know...
The author of that was brilliant. Haha! More than just charm work! Brilliant,
pure genius.
Enough that maybe, just maybe if he used it... it could work? He could just imagine it now:
There he would be, leaning casually against the Gryffindor couch, running a hand aloofly through
his hair. Hermione would be sitting with her legs stretching to the left on top of the arm rest of
her armchair. She would be rapidly reading Hogwarts: A History ( The most boring book to
ever be published. Guaranteed sleep in five minutes...) but would stop at the sense of his
presence.
Her wide eyes would then look up and gaze at him questionably, this would be his cue.
Him: Hermione... you know that my wand was made for more than just charm work...
*silence*
Hermione: Well of course Harry, there’s always Potions!
He then blinked once and then twice more, shaking his head slightly. Instantly Snape’s greasy head
filled his head. He grimaced as he remembered the time that he actually listened to those giggly
girls and their own imaginative analogies of Snape and his wand.
ERLACK!
He really needed to block that out from his mind. Of all the times to overhear them...
But it was all Hermione’s fault. Yes she was the one to blame. For some reason these past weeks
were so arduous for him to not be distracted by her that he sought to have other interferences
distract him from her, but it was no use.
Everything she did made him ogle in admiration. The way she blinked, held her quill in an odd way
or even how she scrunched her nose when a strand of her bushy hair would trickle down her
face...
As Seamus would say, “You stuck yourself in this one mate.” And he did... how he was regretting it
now.
Why, why for the love of Merlin did he start to fall in like with Hermione of all people?
Sure in some logical sense he could understand... but it still puzzled him. Annoyed him to no end
during the night when he could clutch at his pillow and wonder why he thought kissing Hermione
would be a much better exercise rather than flying on his Firebolt.
His dreams would make his affection for her rise to an unbelievable pitch that he found it
bewildering that she could cause such a stir within him.
Feelings that made him realize that yes, Harry Jr. had other functions and a one-track mind.
Instantly he slapped his forehead. No, no... he wouldn’t start thinking those things
tonight. He came out here for a purpose and that was to know what the heck was going on.
But he was finding that communicating with her at two in the morning in the middle of a desolate
common room with no warning was sort of not working.
He looked to his right and pouted before he set his eyes on some scattered Gobstones. Instantly he
grinned.
Perfect.
___________________________
Tick. Tock.
It mocked her. The hands twisting beneath the surface of her pocket watch moved too slowly for her
liking. Enough that each second felt like it was a minute.
She shook the watch in her grasp tightly, willing it to hurry up with its job.
Tick.
She stared maniacally.
Tock.
A sudden rageful noise vibrated past her throat. Her hands found themselves whacking the pocket
watch at her bedside.
“Stupid... (whack) ... damn... clock. Can’t. You. Hurry. Up. FOR ONCE!”
She paid no mind to the sudden shuffling and “what’s Hermione on now”’s that were sounding off in
the background.
No, she was off in her own little world reprimanding inanimate objects. Ah, all was normal.
“Do you mind?” the watch’s small face screeched, irate. “Would you like being smacked around
when it is 2 o’ clock in the effing morning?”
Hermione blinked once and twice again at the indignant object. “I thought so,” the watch replied
with a jeering tone.
“So rude,” Hermione muttered under her breath. After all, what was so wrong with being awake at
this time? Besides, she thought, depriving her roommates of sleep that could consequently lead to
some artful revenge, that is.
She was just gathering some breath to prepare a logical rant on why it was a bad idea for the
gadget to argue with her since it was she that had the wand when a sudden thud was heard
near the outside of the dormitory door. Startled, she quickly slipped on her slippers and padded
her way around the four posters of those nameless girls.
Her hand turned the knob slowly and as she stepped into the small space before the entrance of her
room and the staircase she heard one of the nameless girls finally speak, “She left!” in a much too
bright tone for Hermione’s taste. But she cheered up at the prospect that at least she had somehow
contributed to making one of those girls talk.
A job well done on her part.
Her contented facade though soon slipped off as the darkness of the night enveloped her. Her hands
grasped thin air in a gesture to remind her that she forgot her wand.
Regardless she followed the sound of the erratic raps against who knew what. Her foot was about to
step on the final third step of the staircase when the sole of her slipper made contact with a
slippery box of some kind.
She only thought that it might be a box of a board game before gravity won over and she tumbled
down. Her body, on reflex, curled itself into a ball as her body rolled on the shaggy carpet of the
common room.
She had no doubt that new bruises would kindly surface in a few hours. Bloody marvelous! Just
another thing she needed the day Harry and her would be off on their first date.
“Hermione?”
Speak of the devil...
Wincing, she blearily opened an eyelid and watched as Harry made an imposing figure with the dying
flames of the fire playing on his features. His two eyebrows furrowed in the middle, looking over
in concern at her.
She glanced down and saw that he had a few Gobstones in his hand. Quickly he let go of them and
crouched down by her side.
“Are you all right?”
What did it look like? He winced as if he heard her thoughts.
“Right, right, stupid question to ask...” He pulled her up to her feet, clumsily she leaned against
him.
“Ooh... ouch,” she prattled. He guided the both of them to the nearest couch and he laid her
there.
She avoided his eyes, partly because of her embarrassment. She smoothed out her night gown and
prayed that Harry did not get an eyeful in that tumble before.
“What are you doing here at two in the morning?” she asked.
He frowned and moved her feet aside, to make room for him on the couch. She blushed at the thought
that he could have sat in that arm chair across from her, but no... he chose to be in the same
couch as her.
“Well I... I couldn’t sleep.” Sheepishly he looked down at his hands. Her mouth opened to reply but
she was stopped short as he raised his hand.
“No wait, let me finish. “ He looked at her, full on. “I couldn’t sleep because of you.”
A sickening lurch was felt in the pit of her stomach. “Oh,” she distantly said.
He sighed and looked down at his hands again. “I kept thinking on how you reacted when I asked you
to you know...”
“And?” she inquired.
“Well, you kind of ruined my fantasies.”
Affronted, she sat up straighter against the arm rest and crossed her arms. “Oh... it was my
pleasure then,” she replied, coolly.
He took one look at her face and started chuckling. “I don’t see how insulting me is
amusing.”
“Hermione, you know you’re very good at emotional issues and understanding them, but when it comes
to you... you’re as blind as Ron. And that’s saying something.”
“Is this suppose to cheer me up?”
He smiled at her and started massaging her legs. What was it with his fetish on massaging her? Not
that she minded, mind you, but it was hard to continue being mad at him when he distracted her this
way...
“You see, you ran off not in the brightest of moods. So I thought that might not be a good
thing...”
Her lip quirked upwards. “At least I wasn’t acting like a human housepipe.”
His eyes twinkled. “I’m never going to live that down, am I? Anyway I was worried on what... er,
or if we were still going on the date...”
He stared at the dying embers. Her smile grew larger, as she finally understood.
“Oh Harry, you are tactless.”
“Thanks,” he said drily.
“It’s just... well I get moody sometimes and hormones get the best of me.” She raised her
eyebrows at the stressed part, but he paid them no mind. “And you just got under my skin because --
oh it’s childish really -- but because you told other people first and not me. Now that I think
about it, it’s flattering in a way.”
She grinned as he rose up and grabbed her by the shoulders. His eyes were wide in hopeful
disbelief.
“You mean we are -- you are going to Hogsmeade... with me?”
She giggled as she nodded. He raised his fist and pumped it in the air.
“I told you I was... now, you still haven’t answered my question, what are you doing down
here?”
He paced around as he stroked his chin.
“Well being the impatient bloke that I am, I was going to get a real confirmation about the
situation.”
She leaned forward. “Now?! Meaning, you were going to wake me up?”
He looked at her. “I am guessing that wasn’t a good idea?”
She bit her lip and instead of answering she questioned him even more. “How were you going to do
that? I told you that Hogwarts: A History quotes one of the Founders that they thought boys
were more untrustworthy than... ”
“ ...girls so they made some extra wards for their dormitories... I know, I know, you told me that
two years ago.” He shoved his hands in his thin cotton pajama bottoms. She only shot a weird look
at him, telling him he better start explaining what she questioned previously.
“Well I hit a rock at that point, so I started thinking on what to do. When I happened to look at
the Gobstones, ” he pointed to the scattered wizarding marbles, “I got an idea.”
Her eyes grew wide after a moments pause. “Noooo! You don’t mean, you -you threw them? You
made the racket?”
“You’re too smart for your own good Hermione (she was pleased at this comment), yeah that was me.”
He looked down at her form and muttered a quick “sorry.”
She gazed down at the spots where a mass of purple tinged skin was. He did the same.
“It was pretty stupid of me, once again you’re hurt on my cause... and I’m really starting to hate
the color purple...”
She didn’t say anything but just looked on as Harry placed his hand over the biggest bruise. With
his eyes closed so tightly in concentration, she was transfixed. Her breath hitched in her throat
as warmth radiated from his hands and the pain dulled in that area.
He let out a big sigh and reclined against the couch. “Forgot my wand, but couldn’t just do
nothing...” he replied to her unasked question.
“But Harry, you know that takes a lot out of you. You shouldn’t have done it!” She swatted at his
bicep in a pathetic attempt to show she was admonishing him.
“It’s my saving-people thing, hero complex. Unavoidable.”
She wasn’t impressed.
“Look it’s nothing a night’s sleep can’t cure. Speaking of sleeping, what are you doing
awake?”
She let go of the issue and decided to play along.
“What does it look like? Joining you in a slumber party.”
They looked around at the desolate and messy common room. “Lively, isn’t it?” Harry commented. “No
seriously, why?”
She shrugged her shoulders in what she hoped was an off-hand manner. “Just something woke me up,
‘tis all. I couldn’t sleep because I need to meet Madam Pomfrey for something important...”
He raised his eyebrows at her general tone.
“Anyway,” she yawned, “we better go off to bed -- Harry wipe that look off your face -- so you can
whisk me away tomorrow in whatever it is you plan to do.”
Harry, still with a goofy grin plastered on his face made Hermione lean against him as they walked
to the dormitories.
“I’ll walk you there.”
________________________
“It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?”
Hermione whipped the curtains covering the glass pane of the dormitory to the side. Instantly the
sun’s golden rays eased their way through. Right into the sleeping girl’s faces.
Murphy’s law.
“It will no longer be beautiful once I wring my hands around that smart-alec throat of yours,”
Lavender threatened. Parvati concurred from underneath her pillow. The nameless girls remained
quiet. Damn. She thought she made a breakthrough with them this morning.
“Lavender, life is too short to not appreciate the sun when it decides that maybe it would be a
nice change to not have shitty weather.”
The blond girl quickly was shocked. “Did you just curse? Merlin! What happened to you?”
Hermione looked flattered. “Well isn’t it about time? I hang around boys everyday, it’s expected.
Plus it isn’t as if I am some nun.” Hermione’s eyes gleamed. “No, I think it’s time for a change,
live life on the edge...”
Parvati rubbed her eyes and smirked at Lavender, “Listen to her, date hasn’t even started and she’s
the new social butterfly.” Parvati stretched her arms and continued. “Watch out, here comes
Hermione Granger and she wears some bloody lace knickers!”
Parvati soon shut up as her pillow floated upwards and smacked her. “Oof! Hey Hermione! I was
joking...”
Hermione started digging through her trunk. Lavender, now fully awake, looked curiously on.
“Seriously, what brought this mood on? Usually at this time you either are growling like a cave
woman with your lion’s mane (Hermione shot her a look and patted her hair affectionately) or
reading, which by the way, you really need to find a new hobby to occupy you... besides saving the
world.”
Parvati walked over to her vanity and started brushing her hair. “I don’t know Lavender,” she
called over her shoulder. “I’d say she got down and dirty with her quill last night.” She wiggled
her brows playfully.
Hermione huffed as Lavender laughed.
“Oh that is just witty, both of you really are. You’ll be up on the BBC in no time.”
Lavender grinned cheekily. “Thank you darling... we’ll thank you as one of the little people when
we make it.”
Hermione (surprise, surprise) rolled her eyes. “Really you two!” She grabbed a flask from her trunk
and walked quickly away from them.
“Where are you going?” Parvati called after her.
“Pomfrey’s!”
Lavender shrugged her shoulders at Parvati’s puzzled expression. Meanwhile over in the other part
of the dormitory an unnamed girl bunked next to another.
“Hell, you think she found out we took her potion?” she whispered to her companion.
______________________
“Hermione! Hermioneeeeeeeeee!”
Desperately she propelled her legs to dive past the crowds that were starting to gather in the
morning. If only they could conceal her from him, that would be nice.
“Hermione Jane Granger! Stop!” A hand tugged at her robes, she froze. Closing her eyes, she willed
Merlin to grant her the patience she would surely need.
“Bloody hell, are you deaf?”
She pivoted around on her foot and gave Ron her level two glare. It was labeled by Lavender after
she came back from the States as the ‘back off biatch’ one.
“Weasley, I suggest you get new greetings if you still wish to procreate in the near future.”
Ron smiled and ruffled her hair. “Using the surname, eh? Aren’t you feisty?”
She grunted and shoved past him. Clearly she was not in a joking mood. Especially if he was going
to start on the teasing that he seemed to go on continually since Harry bit the gun.
“What is it with you?”
She didn’t answer but walked faster.
“Geez, at least tell me where you are going?” She bit her lip and shot him a nasty look. He
continued to stroll beside her with his too damn long legs.
“Hermione, Hermione,” he chided. She snorted and replied, “Do you harbor some fascination with my
name? Because you’ve been repeating it incessantly.”
He did not appear miffed but instead grinned widely.
“Oh it is a nice name, but my admiration pales in comparison compared to Harry. He
moans it all the time...”
She felt her face flushing a deep red as she poked Ron. “Sod off Ron... or else I’ll let everyone
remember the new version of ‘Weasely is Our King.’” She smirked as Ron froze. “I might even give
Malfoy some of those poems you wrote about Luna’s lunar eyes, you know for creative fodder.”
Ron gaped at her. “You wouldn’t, even you aren’t that evil.”
She placed her hands on her hips. Her smirk was openly beaming. “Go on and try me!”
Ron pouted in a childish way. “Alright, I’ll let you off the hook for now. But where are you
going?”
Hermione continued walking down the corridor. “Pomfrey’s.” She opened the Hospital’s doors.
“Great I’ll join you.”
To avoid confronting an awkward scene in which Ron would question why she wanted that potion,
Hermione furiously came up with an excuse.
“Oh no, I wouldn’t if I were you.”
Ron frowned. “Why?”
“Well...” Hermione drawled out. “You know how I wish to become a Healer, right?”
He waved his hand for her to continue.
“You see, I wanted to ask Madam Pomfrey some questions concerning anatomy...”
Ron mouthed the words and looked confused.
“It means...”
“I know what it means!” He shouted, insulted. “But why would you -- what part?”
Hermione grinned evilly to herself. Oh he just was playing right into her hands. Carefully she
stepped right in front of him and made her face appear innocently masked.
“Madam Pomfrey was more than willing to oblige to my request on observing how to prod my wand
properly near the lower regions of the male body... and I don’t mean the legs.”
She gestured at the area between his. “But what is between them, you know, hanging about.”
Harry would have been proud at how fast Ron when from a normal hue to blanch white.
“Hermione, how can you be so vulgar?”
She made her eyes open widely, innocence shinning through.
“Vulgar? Whatever do you mean Ron? I just want to apply theory with practicality.”
As an after thought, she added:
“Harry was always good at the practical sort, wasn’t he? Maybe I should get pointers from
him...”
In a flash, Ron disappeared from sight. She supposed she crossed the line with the last bit, but it
was worth it.
Hermione Granger: 1, Ron Weasely: 0
Go her!
So with her ego boosted she proceeded to confront Madam Pomfrey who watched her with her eyebrows
raised. She just looked down sheepishly, embarrassment coloring her cheeks.
“Request on prodding the male body, Miss Granger? Surely I would have remembered that
conversation.”
Hermione bit her lip and sighed. “I had to get rid of him somehow...”
Madam Pomfrey made a tutting noise with her tongue and started organizing her potions on a bedside
table. Hermione wrung her hands around, trying to come up with a way to word what she wanted.
“Madam Pomfrey,” she looked up, “I was wondering if perhaps you had a spare potion bottle on... you
know.”
The nurse carefully took her time arranging the bottles. Just as Hermione was going to ask the
question again (just in case the woman had not heard) the nurse shook her head. “I’m afraid I ran
out.”
Her indifferent tone made her clench her fists. She ran out? For -- what was it now? -- the second
time in a row?
Hermione bristled. “Look I know we haven’t been on the best terms lately, but I would have thought
you would have gotten past this immature thing you have going on between us.”
After the words flew rapidly out of her mouth, she regretted them. Madam Pomfrey’s eyes flashed
with rage.
“Miss Granger I feel insulted that you would think that personal matters would affect my business
relationship with the students! This is an outrage against my character! I should report this to
your head of house!”
Hermione snorted, “Oh please, get over yourself.” What effing demon was possessing her?
The nurse’s lips drew thin and her neck went taut. Hermione prepared herself for a verbal backlash
when a group of Hufflepuffs ran in.
“Madam Pomfrey! MADAM POMFREY!”
The older woman glared at her one last time and quickly walked to the group of kids gathering
around an injured one.
“Yes, yes, what is it?” The nurse questioned.
A girl with pigtails wailed, “Oh it’s horrible! Sean thought himself brave enough that he flew on a
broom! For the FIRST time!”
Madam Pomfrey looked alarmed. “He fell?”
A companion of the girl nodded. “Yeah, from a broom my seven-year old brother uses. You know those
training ones that only go 15 feet off the ground? Pathetic... I never would have thought you could
actually injure yourself with them...”
Hermione tried vainly to prevent the snickers threatening to come out. Oh she was terrible... But
at the same time she couldn’t help but think that she was saved by a Hufflepuff.
Would the world ever cease to bring wonders?
Discreetly she eased her way out but as she passed Pomfrey’s office she halted. A sense of
rebellion bubbled her insides and she couldn’t shake it away.
Quickly she looked Madam Pomfrey’s way and calculated that the woman would be distracted for some
time. Her sudden rebellious nature encouraged her thoughts in sneaking inside the nurse’s office.
After all she was sure that potion she needed was there since the nurse could not have run out two
times in a row. No... this was no coincidence. Madam Pomfrey just did not like her and was making
the best of it.
Well, thought Hermione, not anymore...
She slipped inside the office in a heart beat.
___________________
Lavender was just agonizing over which sweater to put on (the pink or blue one?) for her date with
Seamus tonight when the door burst open. She only caught the look of a brown tumble weed in midair
before that disappeared in the loo quickly.
Hermione...
“Hey! What’s the rush?”
A muffled response came from behind the door. Lavender frowned as she heard the bathroom mirror
scream “NOT YOU!”
“Hermione? What’s going on?”
Lavender leaned close to the door to hear clearly. “Nothing Lavender! Would you stop the
whining? I swear I am not going to use my wand against you!”
Puzzled, the blond girl did not relent from eavesdropping.
“Only because of the protection wards! But you cracked them haven’t you girl? I swear if you
have I’ll sic Violet on you!”
Was that Gracie? The sweet darling mirror that gave her those wonderful tips on how to curl her
lashes the right way?
“Oh hoho! Look at me, I’m shaking in my bootsies! News flash mirror, your threat is worthless.
Violet is a middle-aged woman past her prime that is eternally a bloody object in portrait! What
can she do to me at best?“
There was a silent pause and then Hermione chuckled. “Oh and don’t get me started on
you! You can’t even move from this spot!”
Wow, that was cold of Hermione. Hit them right where it hurts. Poor Gracie...
“Why you insensitive little girl!”
There was sound of shuffling and... what was that? She pressed her ear against the door even
more.
“Lavender?” Quickly she looked up to only face Parvati’s dubious expression. She frowned at her and
put a finger to her lips.
“Why are you making a potion? What is it for?” A loud gasp was uttered behind the door.
“The protections! You are going to destroy them, aren’t you? You evil girl! I knew
it!”
She heard Hermione tutting. “If you don’t mind, I have a name that isn’t ‘evil girl.’ Plus I can
get the Headmaster to throw you out if you keep making false implications against an innocent
student. It’s against protocol and according to Hogwarts: A History --”
“I think I’ve had enough about your bloody book. No one cares about it if you haven’t
noticed!”
Parvati put a hand to her mouth in shock. She mouthed to Lavender, ‘is that Gracie?’ Lavender
hesitantly nodded, hardly believing the conversation going on next door.
“You know what?”
“What?” Gracie snarled out, nastily. Lavender recoiled.
“I’m rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!”
By this time Parvati was neck to neck with Lavender, against the door. She whispered in awe, “She
didn’t!”
“You did not just say that to me!” Gracie uttered in outrage.
“Oh I did and I’ll do it again!” Both girls could practically see Hermione’s sneering
face.
Lavender shook her head and took out her wand. She whispered an “alohomora” before Gracie got real
into a rant why Hermione’s hair resembled a bird’s nest.
Parvati did not stop her but stepped in to drag a sputtering Hermione out.
“The pure nerve of the bloody mirror.” Hermione managed to say through her anger as Parvati
made her sit down on the four poster. The girl shook with suppressed fury.
“Lav, did you get her potion?” Parvati yelled out.
“It’s still simmering!”
Annoyed the Indian girl shouted, “Well take it out!” There was a sudden crash and Hermione looked
up, worried.
“What happened?”
Both girls heard a series of thuds and the sound of a flask breaking. Hermione’s eye twitched and
she could have sworn Lavender said “oh no.”
Parvati looked anxious. In came Lavender with her wand making the potion flask float midair.
“There it is, no harm done!” Lavender said this too brightly. Hermione quickly became suspicious.
She plucked it from the air and inspected it closely.
“Why is there some white powder in there?”
Lavender’s pupils dilated. “What?!” She looked at the potion. “Hermione you need to get your eyes
checked! I see no powder!”
Parvati leaned over her friend’s shoulder. “Odd I can ” --Lavender jabbed her elbow in Parvati’s
gut -- “not.”
Parvati doubled over, glaring at her friend. Hermione rubbed her eyes and sighed. “I suppose it
doesn’t really matter. As long as I drink the bloody thing...”
Hermione grabbed the flask and raised it like she was proposing a toast. “Bottoms up!” And so she
gurgled it down.
Lavender frowned as she watched. “What is that for anyway?”
Hermione shivered in revulsion. “Nasty thing... what was that? Oh, turns out it’s my time of the
month, great timing eh?”
Parvati gazed at what appeared to be a worn out girl. “Hermione, have you slept at all?”
“Yeah,” Hermione inspected her nails, “Four hours.”
“Have you ate even?” Lavender questioned her as well.
Hermione looked towards the window. “The potion...”
Lavender and Parvati exchanged looks. “You are going to fall over your feet in this condition.”
Parvati walked over to her vanity and got out her supplies. “I can’t just stand here and watch a
disaster in the making.”
“Disaster?” Hermione furrowed her brow.
“Yes. I mean, do you even know what you are going to wear?”
Hermione crossed her arms. “Of course. My Weasley jumper and trousers.”
Both girls started chortling. She didn’t find this amusing. “What, what’s wrong with that?”
Lavender started. “On your first date? What, are you a milkmaid’s daughter?”
_________________________
Harry had never wanted to go to the loo so badly before.
Not only for the obvious reasons though but to freshen up. He must look like a real horror at the
moment.
With his hair askew (what was new?), his hands defying the laws on how clammy you could get and he
could only wonder at which color his skin was now. White? Green? Well at least it would match with
the turtleneck Lavender insisted he put on so that it would bring out the green of his eyes.
As if he gave a damn on whether they did!
But maybe that would at least be something he could count on tonight? Suddenly he felt tired and
just plopped down on the couch. Colin strolled right over.
Just what he needed, a bloody integration from a hyper teenage boy.
“Harry!”
He could only grunt out a “Hello.” It was either that or squeaking and that isn’t very manly.
“So you waiting for Hermione? I must say, good catch!”
He narrowed his eyes at the younger boy. But Colin didn’t seem to notice the less than welcome
stare Harry was directing at him.
“-- I mean with her being Head Girl and not to mention from some glimpses I’ve seen, her curves...”
Colin winked over at him.
Was the kid seeking suicide?
”What glimpses have you been seeing?” Harry barely noticed his growl.
Colin only beamed. “Don’t worry mate, I’m only appreciating her.”
Somehow Harry did not like the sound of that. He clenched his fists unconsciously.
“Appreciating who?” A female voice asked.
Harry automatically turned around to be faced with an amused Hermione. She had her hands resting on
hips that were covered with what happened to be a knee-length dress that seemed to show off her
legs very well. But then again those school skirts she put on regularly did the same...
Hermione raised an eyebrow at him. Colin only whistled lowly as he left.
He stood up awkwardly and wished that his hands were not sweaty as he grasped her arm. She tucked a
straightened lock behind her ear and smiled at him.
“Let’s go.”
His throat produced what he hoped was a welcoming grunt. Embarrassed he looked down at his black
shoes willing that at least they will not fail him today.
_____________________
Calmly she told herself to breathe. After all it wasn’t that hard. But she was proving that wrong
as Harry tightened his hold on her hand.
Inhale, exhale. Rinse and repeat.
With much gusto she nudged his fingers and intwined hers with his. Oddly they both relaxed at this
intimate gesture.
He looked over at her and gave her a lopsided smile. She did the same.
“We’re being silly really, there is nothing to be so jittery about!” Her whisper carried to his
ear. He snorted.
“Speak for yourself. Let us review my dating history... First there was Cho and I think the date
being in my fifth year explains how that went...”
She turned to the side and tried to not ridicule him. “So you got on a bad start.”
He started swinging their arms. He only chortled as he pulled her closer so she wouldn’t trip on
that lonesome branch in the pathway.
“Bad start, what an understatement! I can’t even count how much things went WRONG on that date.
Maybe an indication would have been that our conversation stopped after we cursed Umbridge to the
seventh hell.”
She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help but chuckle. “Well my past dates were not all peaches and
cream, if that’s any consolation.”
Harry squeezed her hand and grunted, “It isn’t.”
She was about to reply when over by the Hogsmeade Center a group of Slytherin girls walked towards
them. Both groaned as they realized that Pansy lead the pack.
“Well now I feel welcomed!” Pansy shrieked as she crossed her arms and snorted. “Potter and
Granger, so the rumors were true.”
Harry could just hear Hermione speaking inside him ‘ignore her.’ He planned to, that was if she did
the same. Fat chance. Pansy somehow was a female version of Malfoy and if Draco was good at
anything it was pushing people’s buttons.
“Potter I actually had hope for you, dating wise.” Pansy made her pug-like face show contempt. “But
sadly you’ve dashed them.”
Harry frowned at her. Hermione only shifted from one foot to the other, her fists clenched.
“-- After all you do have some qualities that would attract a worthy partner for your romantic
interest. Surely some people are into the rich, famous and powerful thing you have going on.” Pansy
tutted. “You started off well, I mean Chang was at least attractive. Now Granger is another
story--”
Hermione pursed her lips. “Oh bugger off Pug face! (Pansy looked bewilderedly in Hermione’s
direction, surprised.) It is not our fault that all the male population has tired of you and that
you’ve turned to some deranged form of an agony aunt to live through others and integrate them. If
only so you can be involved in some way. ”
Harry looked between both girls, wide-eyed.
With a flick of her hair Hermione made her face express sympathy. Pansy started to look flustered
at the show of pity, from an enemy of all people.
Hermione found Pansy’s reaction encouraging to allow her to continue.
“However I heard Millicent talking about the breakup a fortnight ago, in the girl’s lavatories.
Devastating, really... She sounded all broken up.” Hermione made a show of inspecting the other
girl and sighed. “You don’t look all that peachy either.”
A group of Hogwarts students started gathering around them. Pansy seemed to be speechless at the
moment. Unfortunately for her Hermione seemed to go on. She placed a hand on Pansy’s shoulder and
patted it.
“Maybe,” Hermione said with concern, “You should go over and have a talk with her; it might work on
getting you guys back together.”
By this time Harry grabbed Hermione by the shoulder before things got out of hand. Just in
case.
But by now Pansy had taken out her wand. Shakily, she pointed it in their direction. “Why you
little --!”
Words had failed the poor girl.
Hermione quirked her eyebrow. “I only wish you both the best, send my condolences to Millicent
anyway...”
The small crowd roared with laughter. Pansy already was mouthing the words to a nasty hex.
Quickly Harry took Hermione’s hand and started running towards the opposite direction. If only to
prevent an out of character Head Girl from being expelled.
Hermione’s laughter echoed as she tried to keep up with Harry’s long strides. As soon as he deemed
it safe, Harry stopped. Looking over his shoulder he made both of them hide behind a wall.
Right then Harry grabbed her by the shoulders and whispered: “Are you insane?!”
She lightly punched him. Hermione did not seem concerned on what could have happened in the
slightest. “Some say I am. Sanity is overrated, you know?”
He shook his head mystified and dragged her to a tucked-in restaurant across the street. Hermione
followed with a satisfied smile present on her lips.
“Why did you provoke her? And so crudely as well?”
Her response was a lame shrug. “Oh I’ve just have grown tired of her barbs. Seven years of
listening to her ridicule Eloise about her acne and me about my hair... It’s about time I took her
down a peg or two.”
Quietly the slipped inside what seemed a semi-casual place to dine. The walls were adorned with
Gryffindor scarlet drapes and the floor was polished a dark black. Both teenagers marveled at the
simplicity and slight elegance of it.
“I’ve never seen this place,” Hermione commented as they waited by the entrance. “Where are
we?”
As soon as she said that a waiter apparated right in their faces. He seemed to have a 19th century
butler appeal to him. Robotically he greeted them.
“Welcome to the Dancing Dove, if you will follow me, I’ll show you your table.”
Stiffly the waiter walked quickly to the end of the restaurant. Harry tried to suppress his
chuckles. Hermione only giggled in her hand. The waiter abruptly stopped at a small table fit for
two. His thin mustache quivered as he snapped his fingers. Two menus floated in their view.
Harry pulled out Hermione’s chair for her. She only smiled at him, impressed.
“I will leave you two to decide what to dine tonight. Also I would offer today’s special but no one
pays attention to it so I won’t waste my breath. Good day.”
He disappeared from sight. Harry stared at the spot oddly.
“Reckon Snape and him were good mates?”
Hermione was inspecting her menu closely. Every few minutes she would make a humming noise. Harry
picked up his and only crossed his eyes at the titles of the meals.
“Hippogryff on the cob?” He said silently. “I don’t even want to know what that’s about...”
Hermione’s eyes observed him over her menu. “Dancing Dove?”
He put down his and smiled sheepishly at her. “Parvati told me about it. No actually she said this
is where we would go tonight. Seemed rather demanding about it...”
A curious look crossed over her. She tapped her fingers on top the table.
“And here I thought that you knew I liked places like these... You should have kept quiet and that
would have won you brownie points.” She winked.
“I’ll keep that in mind, lying to you. So what are you getting?”
Hermione outright laughed at the frightened look on his face as he eyed the contents of the menu.
She creened it out of his grasp.
“How about we just get steak and chips?”
He slouched down in his seat, relieved. “You mean they serve that? Oh I was starting to think I
would starve tonight!”
She had a bemused expression. Calmly she took her wand and tapped it to her menu. The waiter popped
by their side.
Hermione looked up and smoothly ordered their meal along with two butterbeers. The waiter snapped
his fingers looking disdainfully at it. As if ordering such simplicities was an insult to his
restaurant.
“Enjoy your meal.” The waiter’s lip curled. Harry almost wanted to smack his menu across the
arrogant face when he handed both their menus.
Hermione elegantly sipped her drink. After a long sip she set her glass down and blinked oddly, as
if she was dazed. He asked her if everything was alright.
“I’m fine, just think the Butterbeer is a bit strong.”
He was uncertain about her excuse. His tasted like Madam Rosmerta just handed it to him from the
Three Broomsticks.
“So,” he dismissed the previous subject, “What’s with the straightened hair?”
______________________________
She bit her lip as another unsettling slosh was felt in her stomach. With great concentration she
focused in on Harry. Nervously and suddenly self-conscious, she tugged at a strand.
“Like it?” she said coyly.
He only smiled and reached for her hand across the table. Slosh. It was her nerves...
“It looks nice on you but I prefer your curly mass of hair better.”
Her cheeks colored. “Yeah well, you are its only fan.”
He didn’t seem to mind. His hand left hers as he reached for his glass. The lurch in her stomach
did not stop. She felt queasy.
“Are you sure you’re okay Hermione?”
No she wasn’t.
“Anyway enough about me. So a turtleneck and black trousers?”
She knew she was embarrassing him by drawing attention to his attire. He looked down at his hands
and muttered, “Not to mention incredibly tight trousers.”
Her mouth shot off “That’s what I like about it” before she could think. Mentally she slapped
herself. He only looked up to give her a quirky smile.
“Hermione! What’s gotten into you? Checking out my...” He shook his head.
Thinking that if she already crossed the line she might as well rampage across it, she played
along.
“Your arse? Its very nice,” she used his wording. He choked. “Pansy couldn’t take her eyes
from you. I had to bring out Millicent so she would remember her sexual preference.”
Her hands started shaking. Puzzled she only sipped more of her Butterbeer.
“That was really nasty of you. Bulstrode is going to jump you once we return to Hogwarts.”
She couldn’t resist. “In what way?”
This only resulted in Harry spitting out part of his Butterbeer. After gasping he turned his eyes
to her in what she hoped was an admiring way.
“Are you trying to kill me today?”
Of course she wasn’t... at least not yet. She grinned evilly and only raised her glass. Cheers
indeed.
___________________
He wished she would stop drinking her Butterbeer. If only so he wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable when
she did.
She had an unusual way of sipping things. With some grace she would lift the glass and make her
cupid-bow shaped lips pucker up to receive the liquid sloshing over the rim. Then they would part
slightly and oh how he wished he was that sweet glass she clutched so.
And judging from that smile she was shooting his way, she knew exactly what she was doing. The
little minx! If he gave himself a moment to not look at her lips he would have seen Hermione’s eyes
wash over with worry.
“So Potter somehow during this date we get to reveal some things about one another that the other
couldn’t possibly know. Despite being best friends for some seven years.”
Well he was getting to know a very different side of Hermione today. He didn’t doubt that there
might be some more things unveiled during the next 15 minutes. How right he was, the poor
boy...
“Well,” he tapped his fingers. “I don’t really know where to start. Her eyes lit up.
“How about we make a proposition? You ask me something and then we trade off. If you don’t answer
truthfully you’ll have to answer to a dare.”
He should have known from the way her eyes gleamed this was a bad idea. But instead he answered
with an enthusiastic “Okay.”
How typical of two 17-year olds playing a game of truth or dare in a restaurant... The waiter
watched them from the kitchens. If the boy was anyone other than Harry Potter he would have kicked
both of them out by now. I mean, was that a drop of Butterbear in his precious table mantle?! The
nerve!
“Alright,” Harry stroked his chin. “Miss Granger, what is your favorite color?”
Hermione tapped her wand against the salt shaker. Quietly she said “Yellow” and it started shaking.
Great it was working. She looked up.
“My favorite is green, green like a fresh pickled toad.”
Both started laughing. Hermione leaned forward and quietly whispered, “So Potter, ever been skinny
dipping?”
Harry repeated an earlier scene but enhanced it by spitting out a piece of steak. Hermione wrinkled
her nose but had her hands folded atop the table, waiting for an answer.
Harry blinked once or twice.
“Where in -- What possessed you to say that? I ask your favorite color and you ask me whether I’ve
been in the nude?”
A few diners turned towards the couple. Hermione paid them no mind.
“Inquiring minds want to know.”
Harry stalled. Did she know about that one time during the end of sixth year and Seamus brought a
Firewhiskey out? Of course not, he tried to convince himself. She would have had no idea
that all the boys started having randy thoughts about the Giant Squid and decide to dive inside the
lake, to be one with nature.
“A simple yes or no will do.”
No it wouldn’t. He eyed the salt shaker.
“No.” Salt spread wildly over their table. The waiter cringed from afar. Hermione laughed as she
clapped her hands.
“I can’t believe it. When did this happen?”
Embarrassed, Harry looked away. “I refuse to say. I was blocking out that memory from my mind. Too
bad my being drunk did not dismiss my remembrance of Ron’s thing.”
Visibly he shuddered. Why did he remind himself of that mental image? Hermione could not stop
chortling. “What was this? Some orgy?”
“Am erasing said memory...”
Hermione took his hand and cocked her head to the side. “Don’t be a bad sport! C’mon! How could
have I missed this?”
Momentarily he was distracted from her soft perfume. He opened his mouth to answer but quickly he
shut it. No, he was strong and she would not coax it from him. So his pride was telling him.
She battered her lashes. “Fine, but you have to do a dare then.”
Anything was better then revealing what happened that night. “Alright, go on and dare me.”
She smirked and took her wand out. He eyed it with fear. She wouldn’t make him tell her? He
gulped.
“Calm down, I am just going to --” Her hands suddenly went to her mouth. The wand she previously
held, skidded down the tabletop. “Her-” She scooted her chair and leaned on the table. Her eyes
shut and her knuckles turning white.
Automatically he went by her side as she stood up. Her hands were not leaving her mouth.
“Hermione?” What else was there to say?
The commotion they made some caused some patrons to stir. A middle age man came waddling his way.
Hermione doubled over, her hands clutching at her belly. What was happening?
“Alright there Miss?” Harry rapidly turned his head looked at the man. Did she look all right? The
man’s companion shouted from across the room, “maybe she’s choking?!”
But the man did not look at Hermione instead he gazed in wonder at Harry.
“Harry? Harry Potter?! Oh this is such an honor!”
No, no. This was not happening. Hermione made a sickening noise and looked at him
desperately.
The snotty waiter ambled right over. He crossed his arms and approached Hermione. “What seems to be
going on here?”
From the corner of her eye she saw Harry shake his head. The lurch she had ignored minutes ago tore
at her insides. Her eyes squeezed themselves tightly.
“Maria! Do you have your camera? Or a pen?! Look at me, I’m shaking!”
She was shaking. Another painful slosh, bile rose in her throat. Vaguely she felt Harry’s
arms wrap around her, but even that did not stop her from the pain that was rising within her. She
pried Harry’s hands away.
“Maria, your quill will do! Mr. Potter, sign my napkin?”
The man’s voice sounded so loud. She really wished he would shut up. Harry tried to explain that
right now wasn’t a good time.
Lurch. Cramp. How she hated this.
“Miss Granger maybe wants to use the lavatories?” The waiter offered as a suggestion.
Yes, yes. Going to the loo sounded like a good idea. She turned to thank the waiter but as she did
the lurch grew too strong. Her mouth opened as it was desperate for oxygen that did not taste so
bitter.
What a bad move.
She only saw the waiter’s astonished face as the bile erupted and tore itself out of her throat,
right into his face. Her body swayed and black dots danced in her view. Vainly she tried to keep
conscious, but it was no use. Her body was drugged and she was falling into its whims. At least the
pain was receding, but she felt so dizzy...
As her mind started blacking out and her body fell into Harry’s arms, she heard the waiter shout:
“My new robes!”
TBC... (The way I am going, a year from now. :p)
A/N ( Or the part where I clarify things that I think everyone is wondering about): The story
takes place seventh year and no, I don’t know who I picked as Headboy. Surely not Draco though...
*ducks Draco lovers* Pansy is not gay. Hermione was only teasing. Ron is not a jerk as what could
have been interpreted in chapter one. The guy was just flustered over the new version of ‘Weasley
is Our King’ and came off like that, poor bloke. When Ron is angry he can shoot off things he will
later regret, especially from a hormonal Hermione. Contrary to the laws of H/Hr fics(even though I
heart many of them!*tries in vain to get back readers*), Ron is not a jealous prat that will shout
“I keel you!” at any bloke that shows an interest towards Hermione. In my universe he got over his
infatuation and is viewing Luna in a different way. Also he is accepting to the idea of H/Hr since
Harry talked to him about it like a month ago from this chapter. Anymore questions, put it in your
review and I’ll reply if I’m not lazy. Oh and I might write out some missing scenes(Like the Talk
between Harry and the rest of the world in which he thinks about a date with Hermione. Lavender and
Parvati’s plans and maybe even one of Hermione’s stories!) in the future, so watch for that. Please
leave a review, I like feedback. :D