The Best Friend

Setting: Near the end of OOTP, the night before everybody leaves Hogwarts for the summer, inside the Gryffindor Tower Common Room.

Introspect: It's just a very short story about Hermione's thoughts and observations of Harry just before they have to leave Hogwarts again for the summer (the end of OOTP). This is only one shot. It was inspired by the song Anywhere, sung by Evanescence. It's not my usual forte but I hope you like it nevertheless.

Disclaimer: I don't lay claim or say that I own any of JKR's characters and plots. I'm merely borrowing them to experiment with a new Kool Aid flavor.

The Best Friend

It wasn't fair to say the least, she thought as she was watched him privately. He sat in the middle of the common room, watching the embers burn away in the fireplace while everybody else slept in a peaceful slumber in this surprisingly quiet night. She wished that she had the perfect words to say to him, the perfect words to say give to show perfect understanding. But even if she had all the knowledge in the world, she was still at a disadvantage.

Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free

She has never lost anybody that dear to her before. The parrot she cared for when she was seven years old would be the closest and that was an animal, not a person. She could only imagine the pain and grief of the tragedy from reading books and scrolls. Thinking about it now, she felt horribly stupid for wishing that she could see threstals as he.

The sadness on his face, she recalled, was so evident and spoke volumes about his woe. He would trade the ability to see those creatures with just about anyone, she knew. But she also knew that he would never wish his life on another. He was just too kind for that.

I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own

She saw him lean back against the worn leather seat, a very faint sigh escaping his lips. Making up her mind, she quietly trotted down the steps leading down from the girls' dormitories. She wasn't certain whether or not he could hear the steps she took.

She walked carefully, silently behind the chair he sat. Still unsure of whether or not he detected the presence of another in the common room, she stopped about four feet away from him.

"You don't have to be so quiet on my behalf," he said.

She gave a slight start after he spoke. 'How did he know I was here...?' Confused, she paused and stared at his profile.

Her eyes watched him in silence; neither spoke for minutes. She reminded herself that no matter how much she wanted him to talk to her, she couldn't push him. She hoped that her presence now could help alleviate the burden, even if just a little. It was the only thing she could offer to him right now to provide some sort of comfort.

Take my hand

His emerald green eyes reflected the flicker of fire from the fireplace. His hair, usually unkempt, seemed oddly tamed as if it shared in his remorse but still unruly a bit here and there. His shoulders, a bit broader than the year before thanks to quidditch and puberty, were hunched over and his body exuded defeat and exhaustion. He was starting to physically manifest the heavy tolls of his turbulent life, she realized.

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down

Taking a deep breath, she opened her lips, "I...was just looking for a book...wanted to make sure I had everything packed before-"

"Oh okay," he cut her off. Only his lips moved-nothing else. Except for the occasional blinking of his eyes, he emulated a statue. Cold and emotionless, those were the words to describe him right now.

The fire lit half of his face; the other half was masked in the shadows of darkness. Her gaze dwelled on the latter. The darkness was what she was concerned more about. How can he manage to stay out of falling into obscurity? His life, for lack of better words to describe it, had always been hampered by misery.

So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

He suddenly leaned forward and clasped his hands together and rested his chin on them, his elbows rested on his knees. She wanted to reach out and touch him. She wanted to tell him that it was okay for him to unburden on her. She would not analyze, she would swear on that. She would only listen.

She wanted so much to do that for him. When their fifth year began, she saw first hand what the frustration did to him. Remembering his spite as he lashed out at her and Ron at Grimmauld Place, tears threatened to fall from her eyes again. She knew how much it affected him, possibly believing that nobody cared about him in his time of need.

I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you

'His time of need.' She knew that he had countless numbers of those. She bit her lip unconsciously, wondering how many times during those moments that either she or Ron was able to be there for him. She tried as best to justify the moments when they couldn't, but deep inside her she felt guilty. She and Ron fell drastically short of what would be considered as enough for their best friend. Now, more than ever, she hoped she can be there for him now. She wished that he'd accept what she could offer him and allow her to share in his grief.

"Harry, do you want to ta-"

I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there

"No."

She stayed silent and just continued to watch him. His eyes, even though hidden behind round spectacles, glistened a bit. But she knew that the tears wouldn't fall. He wouldn't allow himself that luxury to cry because he was Harry Potter. This was his life.

It took all of her will to stop herself from getting up and hugging him with all her might. She knew that he doesn't want pity right now. Harry was still angry and probably blamed himself for what happened to his godfather. At the tip of her tongue were words to console him, but she knew they won't be much help right now.

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down

She fidgeted slightly and stared down at her hands. "Harry, you're not alone. Ron and I...we're here. We'll always be he-"

"How can you be sure of that?" His voice was suddenly cold and harsh. It made her cringe slightly.

So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where noone needs a reason

"Don't shut us out. Don't shut me out," she finished very faintly. Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes. "I want to help you. I want-"

Forget this life
Come with me

His eyes fell on her, ever intense. "Help? Want? What I want right now is to have Sirius back. What I want right now is for Voldermort to just drop dead and disappear from the face of the Earth. What I want right now is to have the opportunity to have real parents to go home to," he stood up and walked towards the fire.

"I could go on and on about the things I want. They aren't much, are they? I want a normal, wizard's life. I want to just go to school, play quidditch, have a home to go to for the holidays, and people to call Mum or Dad."

She bit her lip. Whatever comfort she wanted to give earlier felt tremendously so little and so insignificant compared to the pain he bore. Is that all right, she asked herself. "Harry..."

Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart

"Am I so...cursed?"

She tightened her evening robe around her as chills swept through her. It really was an unsettling thought.

A piece of wood snapped and crackled in the fire. The flames would die soon and the warmth it emanated would soon go away. Yet despite the heat it radiated, she felt chilled and depressed. His condition was getting contagious and if she didn't do anything about it soon, they would both soon drown in the tragedies of his life. She cursed Ron in her mind for continuously trying to derail her attempts to reach out to Harry.

"No. You're not,” she barely whispered.

"Then why?"

She wished she had an answer for him.

"Harry about the prophecy-"

He flinched and suddenly avoided her gaze altogether. He was hiding something.

Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you

"The crystal ball broke. The prophecy is lost."

"I know but-"

"I'm getting sleepy now. Good night, Hermione." He stood up and proceeded to the stairs leading to his quarters without much of a pause. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She opened her mouth to call him back. But no words or sounds came forth. What is he keeping from her? Does Ron know anything? Why would he not tell her then?

Sighing deeply, she claimed the seat that Harry vacated. She dwelled in its warmth, the warmth he left behind. Staring at the drying fires of the hearth, she made a decision. This summer, she resolved to owl him and tell him everything. Every week or every day. She'd even beg her parents to allow her to visit him. She won't let Dumbledore stop her the next time around. Even more so the Dursleys.

Her eyelids started to close as she established a more comfortable position for herself on the seat. Harry's done so much and asked for so little. As his best friend, she was determined to do everything she can for him. Starting tomorrow, she promised herself.

Forget this life
Come with me

As his best friend.

Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart

Only as his best friend.

Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now

And nothing more.

Right?

And the curly, brown haired Gryffindor prefect drifted off to slumber.

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

-Finis