An Overdue Book

Feron

Rating: NC17
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 16/01/2004
Last Updated: 29/01/2005
Status: paused

An unfinished challenge set by Nappa called " House of Cards." It's of two lovers, betrayal, pregnancy, and of midnight rendezvous. A story of forbidden love, sex, and angst. There will be an epilogue soon. --- added by Fic co-admin (gal-texter) in Feb 2009: Just putting this here in case anyone gets tempted to report this story to mods. Better not report this as we can vouch for Feron and we've always trusted that Feron had every intention of giving this story an H/H ending. I'm aware of the personal circumstances that prevent her from doing so. I will copy this on her review board to confirm the authencity of this note. Of course, Feron, once you update this, you can remove this part. :)

Chapters

1. An Overdue Book 1

1. An Overdue Book 1

Required Elements:
> Cheating!Harry - He's been married seven years to someone other than Hermione.
> Hermione's been his mistress almost all the time except the very first year.
> Harry had two kids.
> Hermione is Pregnant with Harrys' kid.

An Overdue Book

The idea is not to write about how Harry will leave the other woman and live with Hermione, and all that. It's to explore seriously about what happened. How it happened. The ending has to be left open -- unless you're really sure you can pull off something that isn't going to be cheesy or a little too nice to in this fic.

There would always be something in the way of your ultimate goal. Be it a schedule conflict or being in love with your best friend. Your married best friend to be more specific.

The celebrated Boy-Who-Lived has been married for seven years now to an almost perfect wife and my other best friend, Ginny Weasley-Potter. The other woman always thought Ginny would get over her childhood crush on Harry but obviously she was mistaken in assuming such. They were the almost picture perfect couple. And the reason it isn’t perfect is because of him.

His wife didn’t know about his nightly romps with another woman.

Six out of the seven years of married life, a straying hero would come home to his wife tainted by the hands of another woman. It was practically common for men to find another source of satisfaction in another body, but no one would expect the Boy-Who-Lived to be that kind of bloke. Although it might have sounded a bit blunt and wrong, it was something they both needed. Something that would take away the longing they shared even if for just several stolen moments.

It wasn’t just sex or a quick shag.

It was fulfillment.

Flashback

September 2000

They were celebrating the announcement of Ginny’s first pregnancy. It was an all out party at the Burrow with everyone enjoying themselves. There were all kinds of food on the table made by the matron of the house. Mrs. Weasley outdid herself with the preparations. There were floating pacifiers, baby bottles, mittens, and stuffed animals floating around the house. Even the garden gnomes were enjoying the party. It was pure celebratory mood in the house since the youngest Weasley child is about to have a baby of her own. The couple was ecstatic with the news, especially Harry, since it was their first. They were having twins. The whole wizarding world was informed of the news several weeks ago about Harry Potter having twins, a boy and a girl. Their trip to St. Mungo’s was full of autograph-seeking fans and congratulatory pats on the back.

Hermione Granger apparated about a block from the Burrow since there was security wards around the famous house. She breathed in the chilly air and let it out slowly. It had been several weeks since she last saw her friends. Being a research consultant for the Charms Department was keeping her busy. Her social life was non-existent at this point. She never had a serious relationship after breaking up with Ronald Weasley in their sixth year. He never even got to know about the truth about their breakup. She told him they were drifting apart and it was clear that he was smitten with Loony Lovegood. She didn’t realize that he was confused with his feelings for her. A mistake in mixing up friendship and love. It was for the best because how could she love him when she’s in love with the other side of their triangle. They separated in good terms but with a hint of sadness in their eyes.

She fixed her hair and looked at her clothes checking for any lint. She looked inside her bag for her gift to the soon to be parents. It was an enchanted baby book that would hold endless pictures until the child graduated Hogwarts. She clutched it tightly in her hands and walked towards the direction of the Burrow. She really wanted to see Harry at his peak. He used to be always sullen and depressed their last Hogwarts’ days that seeing him smile could bring her to hysterics. The cause of his depressed state died their seventh year. It was the year he was truly relieved of the burden he’s been carrying since he was a child. Harry survived.

Hermione arrived at the front door of the house when it suddenly opened revealing the smiling face of Harry Potter. He was wearing a black jumper over a white shirt and torn jeans. His head was also sporting a party hat with ‘I’m a DAD’ lighting up the front. His eyes grew wide when he saw her. She slowly approached him and put her arms around his neck. He was too surprised to react but eventually returned her gesture.

"Congratulations on your babies, Harry!" She hugged him fiercely. She felt something hot forming in her eyes. It should be her who was supposed to carry his first born. She shrugged off the uneasy feeling.

"Thanks, Herms! It’s been awhile! I missed you" He kissed the top of her head. He unconsciously rubbed her back and wrapped his arms tightly around her.

They let go of each other after several moments when Ron came sauntering towards them holding another party hat for her with the words ‘Future Godmother’ on it. She kissed him on the cheek and hugged also. Hermione put on her party hat.

"Hermione! Where have you been? We’ve been trying to owl you for weeks now. Did they give you a lot of work to do at the ministry?" He asked her. a playful smirk evident on his face.

"Yes, there were a lot of disorganized research parchments littering the department! Honestly! It wasn’t even funny anymore!" They laughed at her and she glared at them mockingly.

She was still looking at Harry who was also staring back at her with the same awe. There was an unspoken attraction between them since the third year when they saved Sirius and Buckbeak’s life. Her thoughts were interrupted when another voice piped up.

"Hermione! I’m glad you could come! We’ve been waiting for you!" Ginny Weasley-Potter hugged her best friend and kissed her cheek.

"Ginny! Oh my god! You’re pregnant!" She laughed.

"Ever the attentive one, aren’t you?" Ginny kidded back. Her stomach was slightly protruding since she was only three months on the way and having twins. Hermione looked at her best friend with tears in her eyes. It was the feeling of happiness mixed with disappointment.

"Oh, you know me. I got you something. It isn’t much but I couldn’t get anything nicer since I got this last minute." She handed Ginny her present. Harry went to wrap his arm around Ginny and took the gift from her.

"You didn’t have to, you know? Thanks Herms!" He kissed her on the cheek and walked away from them putting the present with the others on the table.

"So how are you? Are you feeling morning sickness all the time?" She took her cloak off and put it in Ron’s waiting hands.

"Bloody hell! It should be called All Day sickness since it’s not only mornings I throw up." Hermione laughed at her.

"You’re really pregnant!" She said.

"Herms, I told you and you could see for yourself! Is it that hard to believe?" She raised her brow at her.

"You’re little, Ginny Weasley! I can’t believe it! I’m so happy for you!" She gave her a sincere smile.

"Thanks. I’m really glad you came! This house is full of bloody testosterone yapping about Quidditch!" Hermione chuckled.

"I understand! Where are the other girls though? Angelina? Katie? Fleur?Luna? Anyone?" She asked. Ginny was openly frowning at her.

"Oh, they’re here but they’re in their own little world. They kept on giving me suggestions and asking me every time if I’m okay. It’s terribly annoying already!" She waved her hands exasperatedly.

"Well, it’s because you’re their little girl, Gin. You know they’re just looking out for you." She took a fresh bottle of butterbeer from the table and slowly drank from it. It hit her parched throat instantly.

"I know. It’s just that I’m getting sick of it you know?" Hermione nodded at her. She didn’t really know what to say to a nineteen-year-old pregnant girl.

"You have to suck it in then. It’ll be just a few more months then you’ll have the most amazing twins ever that would grace the entire world" Ginny smiled sincerely.

"Hey! We resent that!" Fred and George grabbed her from behind and took her butterbeer from her.

"Fred! Put me down!" The twins laughed at her.

"I’m not Fred I’m George!" She was hitting his back with her balled up fists.

"Okay! George or Fred! Whoever you are put me down!!" Fred and George looked at each other and smirked mischievously.

George carried her over to the living room and tossed her to Harry who was shocked when he suddenly had someone sprawled out on his lap. Hermione glared at the twins and got off Harry who was still blushing from the contact.

"Err... sorry Harry. These two are unbelievable!" She yelled at the two snickering figures.

"Hermione, George and I are the most amazing, talented, fabulous, terrific...."

"Extremely annoying twins ever lived." Harry retorted.

"Thank you! Exactly!" Ginny agreed with her husband.

They spent the entire night catching up with friends and family, exchanging stories about their adult lives. Hermione felt at home again. She was happy but something was still bothering her. She ignored the feeling and caught up with the others.

Around 2:00 am the others were knackered from the party and eventually went up to their rooms. Hermione stayed in the kitchen drinking her mug of warm milk when a voice startled her.

"Hey Herms. Why are you still up? Aren’t you sleepy yet?" Harry asked.

"Nah, I’m tired but I can’t sleep. I just want to stay up a bit to clear my thoughts." She replied putting down her mug carefully.

"Can I sit with you? I can’t seem to sleep either." She pulled out the chair next to her and patted the seat. He went over to it.

"Mind if I take a sip of your drink?" He whispered. She put the mug in front of him. He drank the milk slowly and the only sound was the continuous gulps he was making. She watched his every move. From the time he sat on his seat to the time he put the mug down.

"Are you happy, Harry?" She asked him suddenly which surprised him.

"Yeah, I am. I have a wonderful wife, a great job, financially stable, my own house, and I’m having twins! Actually, my life is bloody fantastic!" He answered back enthusiastically. He was now looking at her intently with his sparkling green eyes, wondering why such a question came out of her mouth. She turned away from his gaze and spoke again.

"Are you truly happy?" He looked away from her.

"Do you think I’m lying when I tell you I am?" He fiddled with his hands trying to find the right answer.

"Yes." She muttered. Harry thought for a moment before replying.

"You’re right. I’m not truly happy. You’re the only one I told so far. It feels like I don’t have a purpose anymore and everything is just here for me, you know? But I know for a fact that it would get better eventually and this is just a phase." He whispered then continued without looking at her. "It happens to everyone, right?"

She admired his honesty. He wasn’t the type to pour out his emotions at once but he was comfortable with her. It was like feeling free for a moment. No worries invading his thoughts.. It was only her and him at this point.

"I know." She took her his hand in hers and squeezed it for reassurance. She took a sip from her mug and swallowed timidly.

"I’ll always be here for you, Harry." He nodded and lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it.

"Thanks for being here, Herms."

"Harry, can I be honest with you?" she looked up at him. He saw her eyes were glazed over and she was obviously trying to control her emotions.

"Sure. Go ahead Hermione." He squeezed her hand again. He honestly didn’t know what to expect but what he can only do for her at this point was to listen, especially when Hermione Granger was being fragile and uncharacteristically weak.

"I’m awfully not happy, Harry. I feel the same way you do. I feel like after we’ve been through, everything just stopped to a point and there’s no going on from here. I feel useless but I know I’m not. I try to desperately reassure myself that I’m worth something and not just because of me being a know-it-all. I don’t have anyone who would wait for me when I come home or rub my back when I feel down. I’m not going to have a family soon since there’s no one for me to start with. Ron would probably laugh at me right now and call me pathetic and delusional." She chuckled to herself.

He rubbed his thumb over her hand as a comforting gesture and looked at her silently and waited for her to continue. She loved this about Harry. He was the only one patient enough to listen to her ramble and rant about her problems.

"I don’t know what to do. I understand I’m young and there are opportunities out there waiting for me but I’m not happy, Harry! I want to go out and have fun and maybe date around, but I can’t! Something’s holding me back and I don’t know what it is. It feels like there’s nothing out there for me." She was crying openly now. Her quiet sobs were breaking through every barrier of his soul.

It was tormenting him to see her break down in front of him because she felt insecure of herself. This was definitely a change from the Hermione he’d known during their time at Hogwarts. He raised both his hands to her face and wiped her tears of with his thumbs. He kissed her forehead and hugged her. Althoug, he had his share of crying girls before, this was different. This was something he couldn’t handle without breaking down himself.

"Hermione, you’re not useless. You’re an amazing witch and you’re very beautiful. Where did this come from? Why are you doing this to yourself? You’re young and it just goes to show that you’re ready for more challenges. Even if you don’t have that special person waiting for you to come home, you have Ron and me to go running to," he murmured quietly to her.

"That’s the thing, Harry; it would always be the both of you I can go to but what about someone to love forever?" He closed his eyes at the thought of someone loving Hermione that way.

"There a are lot of blokes out there who would be eternally grateful you even looked at them for a second. Of course, there’s someone out there for you to be with! A special someone who would hug you, kiss you, listen to you, massage your aching limbs, finish your sentences, cook you food, help you get your things inside the house, take you to the doctor when you’re sick, make love to you passionately, draw your bath, worship the ground you walk upon, and maybe even put up with your spew." This earned him a laugh from her. He let go of her and looked her in the eyes.

"It’s S.P.E.W. and not spew." She punched him lightly on the shoulder. He rubbed his shoulder gently and scowled at her mockingly.

"Fine, fine it’s S.P.E.W.!" He laughed with her. Her eyes were still glistening but the situation lightened a bit.

"There might also be someone out there who’s wearing the badge right now." He joked with her.

"Thanks, Harry. You’re the best." She leaned to him to give him a kiss on the cheek but he turned his head the same time meeting her lips with his own.

She pulled away abruptly and mumbled an apology. He just stared at her in awe at the previous action. He was literally frozen in place and didn’t know what to do. She looked like she was going to cry again when his hand went to the side of her face and his eyes were looking intently at her. She could see different emotions surrounding his face.

He rubbed her cheek delicately and lovingly. She sighed at the motion of his warm fingers, her skin tingling at where he touched her. She closed her eyes and savored every moment. She knew it wouldn’t last but she could only hope.

Her control shattered the moment she felt his lips on hers again. This time he passionately kissed her. He grazed her upper lip with his tongue. She moaned at the contact. She parted her lips for him, letting him take her to the depths of rapture. The kiss gradually increased to a battle of tongues. She was exploring his mouth with desire while he was giving her unlimited access to his.

They stood up sluggishly, never breaking contact. He lifted her up and sat her on top of the kitchen table. He was now kissing her neck and she was clutching the front of his shirt desperately. They were floating in ecstasy. Every action was full of passion. He stood in between her legs, which she wrapped around his waist trying to feel the heat of his body against her.

Every rational thought escaped their minds. The notion of being caught vaguely entered their head. They were kissing like clandestine lovers meeting at their secret spot. They knew this was forbidden but they never paid much attention to the warnings. They just enjoyed themselves immensely.

He slid the straps of her nightgown down, exposing her bare shoulder. He pushed the flimsy material further down her waist. The cold night air touched the tips of her breasts making them hard and sensitive. He placed feather light kisses on her flawless skin. She ran her hands through his hair while taking in his caresses. He attacked her mouth again while moving his hands on the sides of her body. He was feeling every curve and softness of the woman in front of him. His hands were now on her breasts, stroking her hardened nipples.

She eagerly tried to take his shirt of when he removed his mouth from her taking it off on his own. She grabbed his face again and kissed the top of his head. He looked at her with lust in his eyes and she nodded at the silent question. She let him take her nightgown off. He dropped it on the chair beside the table. She was left with only her knickers on. She felt inwardly embarrassed but she was too aroused to care.

"You’re so stunningly beautiful." She blushed even harder.

Harry took in the sight before him; his lustful gaze was closely examining every corner of her skin. He ran a finger from the side of her face trailing it from her neck to her cleavage. He touched her breasts with both his hands while her fingers were massaging his neck. They were staring at each other intently. Her eyes were glazed over at the display.

He leaned into her and taking her lips again in a gentle kiss. She could feel the bulge inside his pajama bottoms struggling to get out. She unconsciously bucked her hips against the hardness and he returned the motion. He started kissing her neck and trailing his lips over her breast. He took a nipple in between his teeth and licked then continued to suck on it.

"Harry....please...," she pleaded. She didn’t know what she was asking for but she needed to desperately say his name.

He reluctantly let go of the warm skin against his mouth and took her hands in his. He guided them to the front of his pajama bottoms and let her pull it down. They were suddenly aware that only one piece of clothing in each of their bodies were preventing their ultimate gratification.

Harry looked at her and asked her silently again. She smiled at him and grabbed him by the neck, meeting him with a heated kiss. His thumbs went to either side of her knickers and pulled them down. His fingers were playing on her outside lips, the wetness coating his fingers. She cried his name when a finger went inside her. The feelings of pain and desire mixing together were greatly intensifying. He was gentle with his fingers yet the impact given was exquisitely wonderful. She in turn rubbed him through his boxers earning her a wanton, throaty moan from him. She took him in her hands and stroked him tenderly. She couldn’t believe what was happening. She was holding her Harry. Her Harry?

"Harry, please take me."

He laid her delicately on the table. The moonlight from the window was touching her naked form.

"I’ll take you wherever you want to go."

He took off his boxers and settled himself in front of her, the tip of his sex begging for entry. He raised his hand in front of the door and muttered a silencing charm in the room. He placed another hand on arounsed part and muttered a contraceptive charm. She relaxed more after he did this.

"Open your legs a bit more." She gladly obliged by parting them more and putting them around his waist.

He entered her slowly trying not to hurt her. She closed her eyes tightly as she was taking him in. It had been a while since she had sex. The last time was her first and only sexual contact since now. It had been with Ron and he was so different from Harry. She and Ron were finished instantly and he was the only one who came. Maybe it was because they were young and eager then. She didn’t feel this loved when they did it in her dormitory.

"Oh Harry..." She cried making her hold on to him tightly.

"Am I hurting you? Please tell me so I could stop," he whispered against her ear. The hair on her nape stood up due to the warmth of his breath.

When Hermione finally relaxed to his entry ,she met his hips eagerly and rocked back and forth, desire intensifying and consuming every moment of their contact. She held onto him like she was never letting go. The sound of the kitchen table constantly creaking was burning in their ears but they never paid much heed to it. They continued for a moment, building up their sensation. It was exhilarating and amazing. She let herself go completely. He whispered comforting words in her ear.

Hermione felt tingles all over her body igniting every cell living in it. She felt hot and cool at the same time, a wave of pleasure overpowering her senses. Harry felt her nearing her orgasm when he also felt his release nearing. He rocked his hips faster and felt himself go.

"Mione!" he cried out.

Her release came in seconds after him. He felt her walls clench all over him and a surge of wetness engulf both of them.

"Harry!" She screamed like she never screamed before. She tightened her legs around him trying to pour every burst of passion into him.

He collapsed on top of her breathing heavily. She murmured three little words in his ear that made him stiffen.

"What?"

"I love you." He looked confused at first but smiled in response.

"I love you too." She kissed him gently on the cheek. He pulled out from her gradually and stood up. He put on his boxers and Hermione watched him calmly.

"So is that a thank you kiss?" She giggled. He handed her a rumpled nightgown, which she slid on shyly.

"If you think of it as one, yes." he chuckled at her lightened state. He sat on one of the chairs surrounding the table and pulled her into his lap. They put their arms around each other and just sat there.

They basked in their afterglow when his watch beeped.

"Oh bugger, it’s already 4:00 am, I have to go to practice in two hours."

"Harry, where do we go from here?"

He looked broken when she asked him. He avoided her eyes and rested his head on her shoulder.

"I don’t know, Mione. I really have no bloody idea on what to do. I can’t leave Ginny now, since we’re going to have kids soon. I love her. You know that don’t you?"

She felt tears rushing in her eyes but tried to control it. Of course she didn’t expect him to leave Ginny. But she didn’t want to give him back either. She closed her eyes tightly and sniffed. He hugged her firmly.

"I know that. I just can’t accept it after this." He didn’t answer her. "Do we forget this happened? Do we continue it and hurt everyone we love? Do we move away from here and start a new life?" He looked at her.

"No, I can’t do that. I can’t hurt her, especially now. I’m not sure what’s going to happen in the future but I’m definitely sure that I can’t leave her."

"I’m not asking you to," she whispered.

"I’m sorry." She felt tears touching her shoulder. He was shaking now in uncontrolled sobs. She tried to hold her tears back but failed.

To an outsider it would seem like a sweet moment between a couple, that they were crying because they were extremely happy. The truth was more shattering and bitter than that. They were breaking down because they just lost to fate.

They were too late.

"It’s too late." She uttered.

"Yes, it is." The double meaning hung on their every word. She let go of his embrace and stood up. She put on her knickers and kissed him on the cheek. He looked so defeated and lost at the moment.

"I should go back, Harry. Someone might come in here and catch us like this." He didn’t respond vocally but stood up as well.

"Okay." He stayed in the kitchen looking forlorn. She barely had the chance to turn around when a strong pair of hands grabbed her. He hugged her from behind desperately. He buried his head in her hair. She felt him still shaking but they clung on each other extremely.

"Harry, please let me go. I can’t do this. I can’t hurt her. I can’t please! I just can’t!" She felt her legs give up on her when they were suddenly on the floor clutching each other.

"Please don’t leave me. I can’t give you up just like this. You’re different. You’re my Hermione from the start. I’m sorry for being this late in realizing my feelings for you." He cried freely.

"Late..." she repeated. The coldness of the floor was seeping through their bodies making her more shiver.

"I never meant for this to happen! Just don’t let me go," he said bitterly. He knew he was being unfair and possessive but he could not bear to let her leave him like this especially after all that’s happened.

"Harry, I don’t know what you’re asking me to do," she said painfully.

"Promise me this won’t be the last time for us." She felt a flood of tears run freely from her eyes. She could not believe he was asking her this. She was confused and shocked at his proposition. She was speechless. She thought of the right words for her to answer him back. She looked at him with a sad look on her face. His green orbs were sparkling with tears.

"I can’t promise you that." She tried getting up from the floor but he held her back.

"No, I can’t accept that. I know for sure that I love you. I know I can’t leave her. I know it’s not fair for you or her but I need you." He desperately held on to her.

"I need you too but this isn’t right," she answered him back somberly.

"We started something we cannot end."

She nodded.

"A fire not wanting to be put out."

He agreed.

"Think about it please."

"Harry, do you even know what you’re asking me?" He looked into her glistening brown eyes and spoke silently.

"I love you. I’m being selfish here and unfair for everyone especially the both of you. I didn’t expect this to just come out. Just think about it, Hermione."

"I want to be the one who’s selfish, Harry," she mumbled looking back at him with the same intensity. He leaned in and kissed her passionately. He didn’t know what else to do. He was torn and every possibility of an answer someone will always be bound to hurt. He cursed himself inwardly for being vulnerable. He cursed fate for playing with his emotions. He blamed Voldemort for being the one not to put him out of misery. He blamed a lot of people during his current state.

"I hate not knowing what to do." She looked away from him and got up. She was still obviously shaken but if she stayed in his arms longer she would just bind her to him exclusively.

"I need to go. I’ll see you later." She left him there on the kitchen floor still looking lost. He buried his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes. She turned towards the living room feeling another wave of tears trying to come out. She could hear his silent sobs but couldn’t bear to look again. She covered her face in her hands and ran to the bathroom to lock herself in.

End Flashback

That was the start of their secret relationship. After what happened, they couldn’t go back to normal. Every chance they could get to be alone was stolen. Every moment they mustered up, they spent with each other eagerly. They met up in different places so that the chance of being caught was improbable. She still felt guilty but she was happy. They had to steal time from each other to be together. No one was any the wiser. The others never thought once of what have been going on for years. If they did, no one spoke about it. It has been years since the start of their clandestine relationship and no unpleasant confrontations ever surfaced .

Ron and the others would sometime wonder why she was not dating anyone seriously. She did go out on dates but she was held back by the one she loves. They never got to the point of her dates staying over her flat since Harry would just apparate in and make himself at home. He knew she dated but was confident enough that no one would ever replace him. A bit arrogant of him but she knew of this also. It was their arrogance and selfishness that bound them together. They were both unwilling to let go. They were more possessive with each other than anyone they knew. It also contradicts their relationship. This was secretly known between them of, course.

He still went home every night to his oblivious wife while Hermione sleeps all alone in her bed surrounded by the scent of him on her pillows and covers. Their longing and passion for each other fueled their daily meetings. Harry gave his wife different excuses on him being late to meet the other woman. Just being honest was also his other option. Telling Ginny sometimes that he needed to go to Hermione’s or Hermione needed his help or maybe he needed something from Hermione, which was always true.

The only thing bothering her was the direction this pseudo relationship was going. It certainly wasn’t improving or failing. It was going straight ahead. No turns whatsoever. Not up, nore down. It was existent but dormant. He wasn’t going to ask her to marry him anytime soon. She knew this from the start. It was inevitable. It was taboo for them. They talked about tons of things except the status of their relationship. They even told each other their love problems. It usually consisted of him having Ginny nag about petty stuff or her being pushed into going out with other men. He talked to her about the kids and their exploits. She would visit their place and see the Potter family with a tingling of remorse and guilt. Her mind was always screaming rational thoughts but she refused let it consume her. She would break down in guilt if she did. She didn’t know if Harry felt the same way but it seemed given from the start that this was it.

What she didn’t expect was for him to get her pregnant in the whole process. They were always safe since they knew it was forbidden. She didn’t know whether to tell him or not. She let herself into this mess knowing full well every risk and obstacle coming their way. It wasn’t supposed to be a smooth ride but for her to bear his child when she was not the one betrothed to him was a wake up call.

Secret rendezvous.

Nothing more.

This was all an illusion. What they built and what it is now are all just facades. It is nothing but a mask to hide their craving for each other. They came into this situation without thinking much of the consequences. Now, this child is to pay the ultimate price for the betrayal they brought about.

Hermione curled up on her bed waiting for the other half of her sole existence. That was it; her means of escape was Harry James Potter. He was her savior in every way possible. He didn’t have any idea that he was also her weakness and downfall.

She fell asleep eventually in her state of tormoil. It was already 7:34 pm when she felt another body lay down beside her. She felt strong, muscular arms going around her waist and soft lips on her neck.

"…Mmm…You smell so good, love." He basked in her scent.

"I just took a shower before taking a nap," she muttered. She placed her hands over his.

"Always prepared aren’t we?" She let out a snort at his cockiness.

"Oh yeah, I’m all hot and ready for you! Take me Boy-who-lived! Ravish my freshly bathed body please O great one!" She replied sarcastically. He forcefully turned her around to face him. He saw that her eyes were red and puffy.

"Have you been crying?"

"No, I’m just tired." She lied.

"Herms, I’ve known you for a long bloody time and you can’t lie to me."

"Really, I’m fine I’m just tired. That’s all." He raised his eyebrow in respond. He still didn’t believe her but just let it go before it became a full-blown argument.

"Whatever. If you don’t want to tell me the reason it’s fine," he said.

She looked at his emerald green eyes. He had such amazing eyes. They were the windows to his soul. She knew every emotion behind them. She could see lust behind them right now. She leaned in and captured his lips with eagerness. He returned with equal passion.

He rolled on top of her firmly pressing his body against hers. She unconsciously rocked her hips against him meeting his hardened sex. He was so aroused they kept on bucking their hips excitedly against each other. His hand was unbuttoning her blouse while the other supported his weight. She was moaning in satisfaction. Her hands were freely roaming his torso. She lifted the hem of his shirt and took it off in one smooth motion. He took in the sight under him. She didn’t wear any bra so her breasts were beckoning him to touch them. Her nipples were erect and waiting for his mouth.

He kissed the locket he gave her several years ago and licked the skin surrounding it. His thumb brushed the top of her nipple making her arch her back.

"Harry Potter! Stop teasing me!" she scolded him.

"Oh, I’m taking my time, Granger," he said against her skin, his hot breath making her feel tingles all over her body. No matter how many times they did this, it was still special. It was still unique and different. She wondered to herself whether it was like this with his wife. She never asked though, afraid of the answer she might get.

He took a nipple in his mouth while his hand massaged the other. She went to his belt and unbuckled it. She dropped it on the floor making a loud noise. They didn’t care if anyone heard. They could make any sound they want and nobody would hear. They could scream each other’s name in ecstasy and still hear the bed squeak against the movement of the hungry lovers. He could bang her against the wall and nobody would even think twice.

She pushed his trousers down to his feet and grabbed his shaft. She stroked it fervently. She felt him softly bite her nipple, which caused her to cry out his name. He took off her knickers and tossed it around the room. She saw it land over her Muggle phone. He placed feathery kisses on her stomach and licked her navel. She was so ready she was pulling his hair hard. He didn’t care. Harry was enjoying her tortured state.

He trailed his tongue on her thighs while his fingers played with her soft skin. She was about to curse him into oblivion when she felt his tongue lick her wet folds. His fingers were playing with her clit while he was lapping up her wetness. She screamed his name and asked for more by moving her hips against his tongue. He slid a finger inside her wetness and moved it in and out. She felt waves pleasure flood her senses with his actions. She moved against his finger and tongue. He drew out his finger coated with her sweet nectar and licked it. She had about enough of his teasing and pulled him to her.

"Now! I want you now!" she pleaded.

"And now it will be." He guided the head of his shaft in front of her and brushed against her causing her to meet his hips.

"Now!" He plunged into her in one swift motion. She felt his length fill her and her emotions were on overload. They were moving against each other in a controlled rhythm, gradually increasing in pace. He rocked his hips against her meeting her every need. Pleasure was coursing their veins, making them ache for more.

Hermione wrapped her legs around his waist causing him to shift in position. She felt him sink deeper, hitting every erogenous spot inside her. His hands were roaming her body extensively, his lips never leaving a part of her body and making sure that every part of skin was attended to. She started feeling the effects of their feat in a surge of bliss consuming her entire body. His thrusts were faster and steady. She cried out his name when she felt her release. He pushed in one more time before he sunk in his seed inside her. She felt him let loose in her. The warmth of their skin made them feel content and satisfied.

He pulled out idly making her buck her hips once more. He smirked at her and pulled out completely.

"So who’s the tease now?" he kissed her on the lips. The lingering effects of the afterglow surrounded their naked bodies in fulfillment. He rolled over to his side.

"Never thought I’d hear that one." She put her head on top of his chest. He was still breathing briskly so her head was moving against the rise and fall of his chest. The moment was only disturbed when she asked an unavoidable question.

"So what did you tell her this time?" He looked away.

"It doesn’t matter anymore does it?" She flinched at his harsh tone.

"I got a call from her earlier asking me to tell you that she would be cooking roast beef tonight and that you should eat at home. She also asked me what the bloody hell you forgot for you to come over here after work. I told her I wasn’t sure since you didn’t even tell me yet what you ‘forgot’ in my flat."

"What did you say?" He asked nervously.

"Nothing. You should really come up with a much more plausible excuse than that, Harry! I don’t want her to keep on calling me about you," she yelled at him.

"Herms, why are you being like this?" He stood up from the bed and sat on the edge of it.

"Nothing. I don’t know. I just feel so pressured these days," she replied bitterly.

"Is it near that time of the month?" he mumbled.

"Honestly! If women were complaining about something or voicing out their concerns you men always ask about that ‘time of the month’ cliché!" She sat up from the bed and leaned her back on the bed rest.

"You’re being totally evasive. How am I supposed to react?" he countered.

"Now I’m the one being evasive!"

"You know what? I’ll just leave. I think it would be better for me to leave before you blow up some more." She ignored him. He stood up from his spot, got his cloak from the chair and walked towards to her bedroom door. She debated in her head if she wants him to stay. Her weakness showed its ugly head again.

"No, don’t leave. I’m sorry. I just had a dreadful day at work and you being all cheerful and carefree just gets to me," she apologized. She beckoned for him to approach her.

"I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to push you." He walked back to her side of the bed and kneeled in front of her. She took his handsome, smooth face in her hands and kissed him gently on his scar.

"I know we don’t talk about this but I just have to get this out," she whispered.

"I’m listening."

"It’s just that when she calls, everything seems so real again. It’s like you’re a book that the librarian would call for because I forgot to return it."

"So now I’m an overdue book." They laughed at the very Hemione-like comparison.

"Yeah, and she’s the librarian."

"You can always borrow me." He lifted her hands and kissed it tenderly. She looked at him in wonder at his determination to make this work.

"I’m always going to have to borrow you?" she sighed. He looked like he was shot in the chest. He frowned at her. He didn’t know what to tell her.

"No one else but you." He replied.

"And the librarian."

"Yes, and her too," he added guiltily.

"I’m not asking for much. I’m just not sure if I still want this." Hermione shut her eyes at his coming reaction.

"What do you mean?" He looked crestfallen, like a boy who had been locked in a cupboard under the stairs.

"Harry, we have to stop this. I can’t be always at your beck and call. I want something of my own. I want that person to be beside me when I wake up. I want that person to love me as his own. I want that person to marry me. I want that person….," she couldn’t finish anymore. Tears started to run down her face. She buried her face in her hands and curled up on the bed.

"I can’t be that person," he mumbled. He lay down beside her and hugged her possessively. "I want you to be happy. Tell me what to do. Even if I want to be that person there are a lot of things to consider."

"Why did I have to fall in love with you?" She cried softly.

"I’m in love with you too." He kissed her hair.

"I hate thinking that by the end of the day I have to let go again, that I have to wait again for the time when you will be free for us to see each other. This has been the wrong thing to do from the start, but it feels so right that I couldn’t give up on it. Every time you would leave I would hope that you would return without your wedding ring and that we were seventeen years old again."

"I feel the same way. I feel that fate twisted up my life by giving me all this issues. To tell you frankly, it’s easier for me to face Voldemort than to face you and her."

"You asked me to tell you what to do, just promise me you will never back out on your word when I say this." She pleaded with him. She was careful not to let him look her straight in the eyes. Such action would just lead to her eating her words.

"I promise. I swear to you anything, except leaving her and the kids."

"It won’t be anything then. I’m not daft, Harry! I know that you will never leave your family."

She sighed. "Harry, I’m leaving," she whispered. Harry didn’t speak for a moment. He didn’t know what to do.

"What? Are you serious?"

"I’m not too keen on the idea to joke about this," she retorted.

"What? Why? When?" he stuttered. He suddenly felt sick after hearing her utter those words. A flash of memories surrounded his mind making him shut his eyes. She felt him tremble but she continued.

"I was offered a job overseas and the pay is good. I think it would be better for me to just leave for awhile," she lied.

He remembered he had to keep his promise to do anything for her. He wanted to take his words back but he knew deep inside he could not. She was leaving him.

"Well, I really don’t know what to say. I swore to you that I’d agree on anything. Truth is, I didn’t expect you to say that." He covered his eyes with his hands blocking out the light from the lamp. She took his silence as a sign to continue.

"I’m leaving soon. I’m not going to tell you when. It would just be much harder for me to leave. Promise me, Harry, please? After this, we can’t see each other anymore," she whispered the last sentence. She was obviously trying hard not to give in. She had to this for both the both of them.

"Oh Merlin! Why Hermione? Just answer me why and I’ll take it. You don’t have to tell me where or when just why!" She got up from the bed and dressed herself. She thought of telling him right then and there the real reason. He was still sprawled out on the bed. He had put the blanket over his head and she could just hear muffled sounds from underneath.

"Are you talking to yourself?" she teased.

"Who’s kidding around now, Hermione?" he angrily shouted at her.

"Get up. We need to talk about this. I can’t talk to you while you’re still naked on the bed!" She was standing on the edge of the bed glaring at his form.

"Sorry" came a hoarse voice from under the covers. "I didn’t know I was such a distraction."

"Please just make it easier for me. It is kind of hard to talk about this," she said truthfully.

He abruptly sat up on the bed letting the blanket fall to his waist. She noticed his eyes were bloodshot and wet. He had a scowl on his face. He looked defeated. This was the boy who defeated Voldemort and saved everyone from total destruction. He sat in the middle of the bed with his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"Easier for you? Do you think this is easy for me?" he shot back. He fell back on the bed, too annoyed at her statement.

"No! I didn’t say that to spite you. Harry, just go get dressed I’ll be waiting for you outside. We can’t talk here." She left the bedroom and headed to the small living room in her flat.

"Fine." He got up and dressed very slowly. Both negative and positive thoughts were currently playing in his mind, battling with each other. After a few minutes he followed Hermione to the living room. She was sitting in her favorite armchair, which left him the huge sofa to occupy. He flopped down on it ungracefully and waited for her to speak.

"Harry, I’m sorry. I really am. It’s been years and this so-called relationship is going nowhere. Sometimes I feel like I just want to tell the whole world you’re mine but I can’t! Call me selfish but that’s how I am," she said.

"Herms, I understand the way you feel, since I feel the same way," he replied. His gaze was so powerful that it could melt her in a few seconds. She tore her eyes away from him and just settled them on the bare wall behind him.

"No, you don’t. This won’t work anymore. We can’t dance around the subject every time we meet. We can’t continue this with other people’s feelings hanging over our heads all the time. We can’t make it work." He didn’t respond. He was without doubt bursting with rage on her every word. He was livid yet he couldn’t do anything about it.

"Harry, I can’t see you anymore." She tried to sound harsh but it came out soft yet firm. He took off his glasses and put his fingers on the bridge of his nose, pinching them out of stress. Hermione stress, that is.

"You can’t? Or you won’t?" he demanded. Hermione appeared taken aback. She wasn’t expecting this question. He had every right to though.

"It doesn’t matter. I’m leaving soon and it will not make a difference anymore," she retorted.

"I guess this is it then." Harry put his glasses back on and searched her face for anything that would let her take it all back.

"I think it is."

"So I suppose that was our little good bye sex then." He chuckled dryly. She felt her tears struggling to come out.

"It was never only sex for us," she murmured. Harry got up from his seat and straightened out his clothes. She got up as well and watched him.

"Well, goodbye, Hermione Anne Granger. I hope you do well in all your future endeavors." He held out his hand for her to shake. She looked hurt at his gesture but shook it nonetheless.

"Same to you. Goodbye, Harry James Potter." She let go after a few moments, silently berating herself for being weak. He turned his back from her and walked towards the front door. She followed his morose figure towards her hallway. He was too emotionally distraught to apparate. A major splinching would certainly happen if he tried it. Focus and pure concentration were needed in order for him to successfully attempt it.

Harry opened the door softly, his hands were shaking but he kept on his confident stature. He didn’t want to let her see him this crushed. He might do something they will both regret if he would turn around and meet her. She followed him quietly and held the door for him. He suddenly stopped in front of her but he did not turn around.

"Hermione, I hope we made the right decision." With that said he left her flat. She closed the door after a few moments of watching him walk down the hall and slip into the elevator.

"I will always love you, Harry." She whispered against the stillness around her. She slid down on the floor her back on the door when she heard footsteps stop on the other side.

"HERMIONE! I LOVE YOU!" a panting Harry screamed. Her tears were flowing freely on her cheeks at the sound of his pleading voice. Her sobs were echoing through her modest flat. His knocks were continuous but she didn’t open. She remained seated on the floor with her knees curled up to her chest.

"Hermione! Please! Open the door! Please! Let me in!" Harry continued knocking and screaming like a maniac but she didn’t open. The other people on her floor were now wondering whom the rude, screaming individual was.

"WHAT? Get the fuck inside your houses or I swear to god you’ll fucking regret it!" He was screaming at them with pure rage. Hermione’s floor mates went inside their own doors immediately after hearing his threats.

"Hermione! Open the bloody door!" He was shaking all over. His palms were sweaty and he was getting dizzy because of the screaming.

"Don’t leave me! I need you! Open this door!" He collapsed in front of it and sobbed. His cries were sounding off the quiet hall. She heard him break down but she still did not open the door.

"Harry! Leave me alone! Please! Go back to your family, Harry! They need you more than I do," She answered back.

"No! Don’t shut me out! I need you!" His voice was breaking with every word.

"Goodbye, Harry!" It took her awhile to gain her strength but she got up and left him there. Her cries were still carrying on. Her throat was hurting because of the hiccups she made from crying too much. His was the same but much deeper. She curled up on her comfy bed and cried herself to sleep.

She never thought she could do this. Harry was still outside desperately pleading with her to let him in. Her mind was made up even before he came in earlier. She was to have her baby grow up outside of the wizarding world. She was moving to New York to live a new life. A new life for her and her child. Hers and Harry’s child.

"Herms! Please!" he murmured. He stayed there for a couple of hours and eventually gave up. She was clearly not opening the door for him. She was firm with her decision. It took him awhile to realize it but he did. He had to get from here. He had to go back to his wife. His real wife, Ginny, the woman that he promised to love unconditionally. The woman who bore them their kids. The woman who was patiently waiting for him to come home from work. The woman who loved him dearly. He walked towards the elevator and pressed the button that sealed his future.

AN# Do you also want an epilogue? Thanks for the nomination guys!! I’ll try to finish up the epilogue soon. MDiezel, my savior! I love you!