Existentialism on War's Eve

dumbles

Rating: G
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 21/01/2004
Last Updated: 21/01/2004
Status: completed

In the lead up to the final battle of Hogwarts, Harry watches Hermione sleep by the fire.

Chapters

1. Existentialism

1. Existentialism

Title: Existentialism on War's Eve

Summary: In the lead up to the final battle of Hogwarts, Harry watches Hermione sleep by the fire.

The flickering fire light was slowly dying down into coals. Water had condensed on the windows clouding them over. The moon, high and full, was reflecting off the condensation giving the window seats an eerie light. Gryffindor House had all gone to bed early- the threat of an attack from the Death Eaters worried everyone to bed.

Except for two. Harry Potter was sitting in one of the eerily lit window seats, his eyes lined with dark circles from endless months of restless, sleepless nights. He would spend most nights sitting awake in this very same seat, and keep a watch over the empty room as if Death Eaters would storm it at any moment. Whispers had started around the school that Harry Potter was going insane- he was obsessed with Dark Wizards.

But Dark Wizards were the furthest thing from his mind on this night. His gaze had been drawn down from its usual line with the entrance and was instead watching the young girl asleep on the lounge in front of the sofa. She was not an extraordinarily pretty girl- but it didn’t matter to him. She was his and that’s all he cared about.

Rising from his position, he crossed the steps to her quickly and kneeled down beside the lounge and gently brushed her hair off her face. She stirred slightly in her sleep and a hint of a smile tugged at her cheek, but she didn’t not wake. He kissed her gently on the cheek and drew back and looked at her closed eyes. Their piercing blue colour seemed to penetrate through the lids, or maybe it was just that he knew her face as well as he knew his own.

He took hold of the hand that was hanging over the side and held it tightly in his own. Not taking his eyes of her face, he began to speak.

‘I know you can’t hear me… I wish you could. I would never be able to say this to your face. To anyone’s face,’ he paused and took a deep breath. ‘I’m terrified, Hermione. Absolutely terrified. I- I don’t know what’s going to happen and I am terrified of losing you. You- you’re amazing, Hermione. I- I wish I told you before now. I know you know, that you understand, but I needed to say it out loud, even if you can’t hear me.’

He stroked her cheek, feeling it’s warmth.

‘I remember the first day we met. On the Hogwarts Express. You were looking for Trevor. Ron and I- well, you know what we thought of you,’ he laughed softly to himself remembering how awful his eleven year old self had been to this poor girl. ‘But you never backed down. You were determined to not have us hate you. The night with the troll- seeing you in danger- I don’t know how to explain what I felt. Perhaps that’s why I jumped on the troll- I think that was where I got my habit of doing stupid things whenever you’re involved. Every time since then that you’ve been in danger I- I’ve wanted to protect you. Two years ago I thought I’d lost you. Even now, whenever I close my eyes I see you, lying unconscious- I thought you weren’t breathing. But Neville- he found a pulse. Neville’s the one that’s kept us together- it was because of his toad that we first met and it was because of him that I knew you were alive.’

She shifted slightly in her sleep and Harry ploughed on.

‘You’ve been everything to me for seven years. You’ve stood by me when no one else would. You- you’ve made me who I am today. And words cannot thank you enough for that. I would not be here, were it not for you.’

He kissed her cheek softly again.

‘I love you, Hermione Granger.’

He rose from his position, still holding tightly onto her hand. He had laid out his soul, put his heart on his sleeve- and no one had heard it.

‘Harry,’ Hermione murmured and her eyes fluttered open. He dropped back down to his knees and she smiled at him. ‘I- I was dreaming about you- you were talking. I couldn’t hear you but.’

‘Sssh- go back to sleep,’ he whispered. She nodded and closed her eyes, but opened them a few seconds after.

‘Harry- I love you too.’