Awake

Moonbeam

Rating: NC17
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 25/01/2004
Last Updated: 25/01/2004
Status: completed

Harry wakes up, and finds he isn't as alone as he would normally be.

Chapters

1. untitled

1. untitled

Title: Awake
Author: Moonbeam
Spoilers: I'm in denial over Sirius so he may be dead but he is unmentioned. They are both 24, Voldie's dead yadda yadda.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but I own my smutty mind and my insane brain which came up with the word order you are about to read if nothing else.
Note: This is all Harry POV, since it's 1st person and all
Author's Note: There is one phrase in here that made me crack up, but as I was writing I heard Brad and Janet saying it and I couldn't help myself - who will pick it up????
Author's Note 2: Okay so this rambles a bit but I couldn't say what I wanted to without it. Hopefully a few of you and Jess - hey Jess - will get that I'm a rambler this was inevitable, but hey at least there's smut : ) also it's sap, pure and simple and I finally finished a HP story - yay me.
Author's Note 3: No one is allowed to let me do another first person smut story, they are infinitely evil - but I had to, I wanted the rambling to be first person. Also I apologise, since I have never been a man I can't see sure what a male orgasm feels like but I've taken a stab.
Dedication: To Hayley cause she listens to my ramblings about Harry and Draco and all connotations even the ones that raise eyebrows with others.

Awake
by Moonbeam

Maybe it's the fact she's naked. Or maybe it's because I'm naked. But I know it has something to do with the memory of everything we did. The way her skin felt, her hair against my chest. God, I shouldn't know these things about my best friend, they should only be known about girls I haven't known since I was eleven.

We'd been drinking. Okay, so we'd been beyond drinking but still somewhere in my psyche I have to have known that this was wrong. And I can remember everything, absolutely everything from the way her hair smelled to the fact that underneath the tequila she tasted of raspberries. I shouldn't be able to remember that. If I was sober enough to remember doing that … doing that with my best friend, then I should have been able to stop it. Sure she had started it and she had an exceptional ability to move her mouth and tongue in such a way as to render thought impossible. But I can remember, and I…God! I enjoyed it, a lot!

Okay, so what happened, I need to sort this out, I need to think clearly before she wakes up, God! Okay, night of drinking…normal. Too much to drink…fairly normal. Sex -no mind-blowing sex with my best friend…not so normal in fact more Martians took over my body - that's it the Imperius curse. I wasn't of right mind and neither was she; it was all some set up by the next dark lord to … get me to sleep with my best friend? Okay, so not that, plus I can fight that - well there was alcohol so it works, but…shit, I said to look at this clearly brain. So I'm not under any curses, admittedly I doubt I'd need to be to sleep with Hermione…WHAT!!!! Okay, breathe normally, it's okay you think that sex with Hermione was fun, great even…dammit stop thinking about that just - steps. Steps on how I got here, that's what I'll think about.

Alcohol, because Ron had been dumped by yet another girl who couldn't seem to work out that helping to defeat a dark lord didn't make he was some thing more than human, fools. Hermione and I were introducing Ron to tequila, why? I have no idea. Okay so we were all pretty hammered and Ron left with some blonde, Annabelle, or something…she thought he was cute, didn't even register at the name, good. Hermione and I decided to stay, she wanted to dance, and we did…for hours.

We left in the early hours of the morning and decided to come to my place since it was closer…why don't I have a hangover? Well they say the best cure is…no must just be a gradual tolerance to alcohol, Hermione did not save me from a tequila hangover. We came here, and decided to do something, she wasn't tired and I didn't care and we, god what wa - ohhh! We decided to play twister, amazing what a bit of magic and the right mood can do. The clichés are running really thick at the moment. We fell…well we were drunk it wasn't liable to have lasted very long - but I didn't know Hermione was that flexible, and more so for that matter.

She fell first, landed on me and I fell, I think the floor was hard, I'm not sure. The warm, soft, female body lying on top of me distracted me. Then…she kissed me and the next bit, the period between that first tantalising kiss and the part where we were both naked, is a fantastic collage of slightly blurred images that just give me the impression of some heavy petting without solid detail.

Then we were naked, on the twister mat and she was beneath me and she smelt like mint, and paper. She smiled up at me and … that was it, that was the moment I was done for. No one can resist that smile, the I'm-naked-you're-naked-let's-have-some-fun smile, but it was Hermione's and that made it better, sweeter and just right. Right? But I thought it was wrong, I'm confused and she just snuggled down and she still smells of mint and paper, but now she smells of sweat and me. Hermione smells of me, that shouldn't make me as happy as it does - she's my best friend I'm not supposed to feel that way about her…am I?

Okay, maybe the point isn't how we got here; maybe it's why I have fewer problems with it having been Hermione than with the whole best friend thing. I'm happy I slept with Hermione…I'm terrified because I slept with one of my best friends. I mean if it had of been Ron then - wait if Ron was a girl…no still too weird. If it had have been Ginny, well Draco would be killing me at the moment but other than that it would have felt wrong, I just know it. I would have said it would have felt wrong with Hermione before now too, wouldn't I? Well, I've never thought about sex with Hermione, why have I never thought about sex with Hermione, I know Ron did and well I've thought about Ginny.

What is it with Hermione and moving when she's sleeping really it's distracting, I'm attempting to have a good old ramble and instead she's snuggling and that damn leg is rubbing up mine and oh God! It was a normal morning reaction, nothing to do with the naked girl next to me, almost on top of me…that'd be fun, No! I want have sex with Hermione, again? Did I just growl? I did, but she wasn't awake so it was okay, no it wasn't but it was good enough.

Is it even possible, I mean could I have feelings for Hermione? She is my best friend so really who better but I mean Ron would kill me, that whole over-protective thing would kick into overdrive. There wouldn't be two people to torment the suitor so he'd do it all himself, but then he'd have to talk to himself which would be funny, except for the whole coming at me with wand drawn and he's make sure I didn't have mine and well he's a pretty good wizard.

That's not the point, if I do have feelings for Hermione I wouldn't let Ron get in my way; I wouldn't let anyone get in my way. I suppose that's saying something really. But is it saying I care deeply for her or that I love her and would like to keep her in my bed until we can't move or starvation kills us. That option does sound like fun.

I like having sex with Hermione, I have offered to kill every boyfriend she's ever had regardless of whether or not they have hurt her and she's the only person who can reach me through my odd periods of depression. It's scary though to think I may be in love with her. If I am how long have I been in love with her? How can you even tell if you are in love with someone?

Is it something to do with the way their hair falls down their back or the way they know exactly how you like your toast buttered? Does it have something to do with being able to quote every chapter of 'Hogwarts, A History' but not knowing why people like reading 'Witch Weekly'? Hating Quidditch and yet coming to every game, even if she has an assignment to do. Or knowing when she does and appearing at her house regularly to ensure she eats and sleeps. Having someone tell you that you are an idiot and hugging you at the same time. Or perhaps being able to read your mind with a look even if she doubts the existence of telepathy. Perhaps it's the way she smiles at me to let me know she thinks Ron's an idiot too but that for my sanity she won't start a fight. Knowing when I need someone after a tragedy but understanding when I try to push her away and need my space. Flying into the face of danger without being asked and hitting me when I try to turn her away. Maybe it had something to do with the fact she knew everything about me when she met me and still asks questions after thirteen years. Maybe it was a part of the sick feeling I get in the pit of my stomach everytime she mentions another guy or the homicidal need gnawing at me whenever one breaks her heart. The fierce need to protect her warring against the understanding that she can hex me to next Sunday without trying. Knowing if she was really interested in a guy depending on the lipstick she wore and the colour of the outfit she chooses. The way she would come to me after some bimbo had sold a story to the papers and remind me that the people that matter know who I really am. It could have something to do with how much she loves me and how she always makes me feel as though the world no longer matters as long as she's smiling.

I'm in love with Hermione! Oh shit. Thinking about it doesn't make it any easier to accept apparently.

Now that I've realised the truth I want to wake her up so that I can tell her. But what if she doesn't love me? What if last night was just the drunken shag that I had originally thought and now she'll feel sorry for me? Maybe he should wait until she showed some sign of the truth before telling her how he felt. No, there is something in the way she acts, talks, looks at me that makes me feel like I'm not alone, but I'm the only one who is clueless. But why do I only see it now why can't I have worked this out earlier. I don't think it matters, I realise now and I have to tell her if only to stop her doing that with her leg, really tormenting a guy while awake was one thing but being able to do it asleep was a skill. One I plan to be tormented with for a while, so long as I'm right and she loves me back.

I moved a little so I could look at her more closely, now how to wake her? I slid my hand along her side, across her waist down over her hip and back again, that didn't work. I slid my hand along her hip and down to gentle cup her behind. Really, waking someone up shouldn't be this much fun. But that didn't work either, the only option was to take drastic measures. I moved my body around hers and was able to see her eyes, this would be fun. Hermione woke most quickly when one simple phrase was mentioned, Ron and I found out by accident and we still haven't gotten the reason why.
"Say cheese."

Hermione opened her eyes and spotted him immediately, the slight look of horror that accompanied waking her like that was replaced with a death stare which melted away when she felt my hand moving along her hip again.
"Mornin'." I said as I dropped a kiss on her nose.

"We're naked." She told me with a grin.

"I know."

"And you aren't annoyed or angry or freaked out?"

"Well I was," I couldn't help but pull her closer to me, she didn't look … well anything like I'd feared, she looked content. "I freaked out, 'Oh my god, I had sex with Hermione, but I really liked it, why?' So on and so forth until I asked myself one question."

"Which was?"

"Do I love Hermione."

"And?" The look on her face was priceless and I really wanted to keep her like that, but she's just so impatient.

"You have a cute nose," I said placing a kiss on it. "And a nice ass," I gave it a gentle squeeze. "Not to mention fabulous breasts," I was completely prepared for the blow she sent my way but I simply used it to my advantage and captured her lips.
"But none of that matters," I said as I pulled away from a calmer Hermione. "Since I love you and I think you're cute when you're mad."

Hermione growled, I swear, and then attacked me, but that was the fun part, I felt her hands roaming over my chest and my hands buried themselves in her hair. It was just as cute when she'd just woken up as it was when she was attempting to keep it up while she was studying. She moved slightly, thank god for sleeping naked. This is so much easier when she's naked; I could never figure bras out. I ran my hands along her back, feeling the way her spine gently jutted out and how soft her skin was, softer than it had been last night - if that were indeed possible.

Suddenly she pulled away and I looked up at her shocked, "What?"

She smiled, that sexy, sweet smile, from the night before, that had gotten us here; it was my new favourite. Then she leant down kissed the tip of my nose and whispered,
"I love you too." I couldn't help but smile back at her. "You slow git."

My laughter erupted and she lent her head down to rest on my chest, laughing gently at what I could only assume to be the way my chest was vibrating under her.

I pulled her up and kissed her firmly, dragging all the mirth out of her body and replacing it with need, hopefully a need which was something similar to my own. From the way her hands ran up and down my sides before one slid into my hair ensuring my head couldn't move unless she said so, I'd say she felt that need too. God, I loved this woman. How could I have not seen her before? I may never drink tequila again but it is definitely my favourite alcohol from now on. She pulled back and her lips curved into a sexy, mischievous smile that made my stomach flip and my crotch tighten.

She shimmied herself down my body and I had to smile at the possibility of what she was about to do. She trailed kisses and nibbles down my chest, running her tongue around my belly button then straight down to bite my thigh. I jumped and I could feel her laughing against me. Then she raised herself and blew against me, I really jumped this time. The woman obviously was holding to her threat of the night before. I will bring back Voldemort, just so long as she stops teasing. I'm not sure if she heard me but she moved up and flicked her tongue over the head of my penis, before enveloping it in her mouth. She moved up and down on me and I remember throwing the blanket off so I could see her but I don't really remember anything else. It was all just sensations and hearing myself groan, a lot.

Finally I had to pull her away. I needed her completely. Especially now that I realised just how much she meant to me I wanted this to be more special than last night, a little more about me showing her just how much I now realised I felt about her. I pulled her up my body and kissed her soundly, faintly tasting myself on her tongue but I really couldn't think about that right now.

I rolled us over trapping her body beneath mine, raising myself onto my elbows I attempted to keep my weight off her while still connecting our lower bodies as tightly as possible. In response I felt her legs come up and wrap around me, suddenly I felt very warm. I looked her in the eye and said it again, needing her to hear it before we did this.
"I love you."

"I love you too," she said as she pulled my head down and reconnected our lips. While we were connected there I pulled away from her and felt her hand wrap around me to guide me in. Then finally I was inside of her and I remembered this part of last night so clearly, she was so hot and felt so wonderful around me. However, when I pulled back and looked in her eyes I knew that that look in her eyes was just as good, if not better. That was until she tightened around me, really girls shouldn't have those muscles it they expect guys to have any control. But I took her hint and pulled out of her. As I slid back in I looked her in the eyes. This was forever.

The pace I set was slow and torturous, but I didn't care; I could hold out forever if I could keep looking at her, holding her like this. I was wrong but I didn't mind, I felt my body screaming at me to move faster, to claim her. I felt a little animalistic over that thought but I knew I was hers. I caved to my body's request and began to pull out of her further and move back in harder, loving the sounds she made, each one making the tension in my lower back tighter and tighter.

She was moving against me, she hadn't said anything in a while and the look in her eyes was slightly manic but I just lent down to kiss her, insane or not I love her. I moved faster, harder against her and she met me everytime. But I knew I couldn't hold out much longer, Finally I felt her buck up against me with such force I was afraid she'd hurt something but she just threw her head back and screamed, low and long. The sound broke something inside of me I could almost feel it snap before I pushed down against her. Hard. I felt all the tension in my body leave as I came, looking at her face contorted in pleasure.

I lost my mind somewhere but as I came back to reality I felt Hermione running her hands along my sides. I opened my eyes and looked down at her smiling. I had fallen on her at some stage and my head had been buried against her neck. I must be squashing her. I tried to pull away but she just wrapped her arms around me,
"I like you there."

"Okay," I responded. I knew it was a goofy grin but really what guy doesn't like being told that.

She smiled up at me and I was content to smile back and move my head back against her neck, I could smell sweat but her natural scent had been enhanced through the exertion, I never realised that the smell of parchment could be an aphrodisiac. I pulled back again I just had to see her face, yep as beautiful as ever.

"Marry me?" I'm not entirely sure where that came from because realistically I hadn't even though about it and I'd only realised I was in love with her an hour ago. But I wasn't worried; it felt right, weird but definitely right.

"Yes," she whispered. I looked into her eyes and knew that she was surprised but I knew and she knew that this, even if it was new, was forever. So I smiled at her and leaned down to kiss her.

"You still owe me sex on that twister mat," at my odd look she continued. "What? I was just getting into the idea of telling people I shagged Harry Potter with my foot on the yellow dot and my hand on the blue."

I attacked her with my hands and mouth, covering her laugher and cries with my lips as my fingers tormented all her most ticklish areas. Finally I pulled away when I began to feel her losing the battle. I pulled the cover over our heads and decided to go with the plan to keep her in bed until hunger drove us out. She was more than enough to satisfy. Besides, tormenting her was fun. As I was beginning to learn.

The End