Swan Heart, Ocean Soul

Ve.

Rating: NC17
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 5
Published: 27/01/2004
Last Updated: 27/01/2005
Status: paused

Rated for later chapters... James is lost, seeking redemption and the salvation for his shattered heart and soul. Torn by his memories he looks to destroy the one thing that has mentally and emotionally kept him going... Lily... but when she throws herself to his mercy James comes to terms with his illusions. He has to choose between betraying his memories and saving his soul, or else watch the love of his life perish in depression...

Chapters

1. Prologue: Lost in the Void

2. Collision of Fate

3. Dinner

4. After Thoughts

5. Head Boy

6. Unspoken Rivalry

7. Morning Glory, the wrong side of bed

1. Prologue: Lost in the Void

Swan Heart, Ocean Soul

Sadly, I don’t own anything you Harry Potter fanatics recognise.

This story is dedicated to VSM… may one day the love that he sought and was denied be fulfilled with undying passion… more so than that he could ever be offered.

Many thanks to my beta… MIDEN, MIN HORA! :D

I hope you enjoy reading it… and that you don’t find it too clichéd

Prologue: Lost in the Void

Her eyes shone a bight sparkling green in the candle light and her red hair seemed to shine a silvery black in the moon light that came through the window which revealed a cloudless and clear night. This night was to be perfect, marking the rest of their lives together for if he were to die tomorrow he would be fulfilled as this night was theirs.. forever. His kiss deepened on her lips as his body pressed against hers moving in a slow and sweet rhythm. He gave himself to her that night, his heart, body and soul. He’d give his very life for her on request. Their love making lasted an eternity in that night. He cherished every moment, burnt every second into his memory and as he lay there in her arms he felt a sense of satisfying content… his life was bound to each breath she took, his heart beat for her very existence.

It had happened so fast, he had fallen so deeply into the embrace of the love he had long sought after, and she had replied to his call, answering him with the equal intense flames of passion. He had been like a starved dog, taking her without hesitation… just to be left painfully hungry again only moments later. But this was more than hunger, it was pain stricken grief mixed with mortifying guilt. He would take vengeance on love, fool he was indeed to think that love came so freely where in fact the price he had had to pay was deadly high.

Yes… it had been deadly… gone with the wind, home to the heavenly stars, peaceful in eternal sleep… immortal in slumber. That was simply what death was wasn’t it? Resting forever? Returning from where you came from? Then why did it still hurt so much? Why did it tear you apart to relive the memories? Why did it pierce to the very core of his heart? What did it mean when the replay in your mind was not what you wanted it to be?

Fate had no mercy, she took what she wanted without reason, without explanation, viciously snatching away even the very heart and soul of a man at will. So cruel were the arms of Fate, for once she had crumpled and diminished you to pure pain and suffering she then threw you to the equally heartless hands of her sister, Destiny… Fate and Destiny… what a pair they made, trying to cancel each other out, a paradox… for one could only exist with the other and neither could cease to be, yet they fought to cancel each other out. He had been trapped in their twisted circle, doomed by Fate and thrown to seek redemption in Destiny. And what other path was there to take? Without her he had lost the will to live but he couldn’t die as he would betray her memory, his memory of her. So there he found himself… in his own paradox. Stuck deep within, in his heart stabbing and crucifying memories, her clear green eyes looking up at him like an innocent child, the soft touch of her warm skin, her silky red hair that he had run his fingers through so many times and most of all her sweet scent that filled his senses, empowered his mind, the scent of lilies. Lilies… damn her to hell! Damn Lily Evans! He defied her! This endless torment, it had to be stopped, Lily Evans had to be banished from his mind! Her face condemned him to this dark abyss he had been eternally falling through, and there was no end to it.

James Potter sat on the cliff that jutted out over the glacial lake which lay deep within the forest lands of the extensive Potter grounds. How long he had sat there he didn’t know, his broom had been carelessly discarded on the ground somewhere behind him and he sat gazing out into the distance, the light summer breeze further ruffling his already messy raven black hair. Sighing James heaved himself up off the rock and slowly went to recover his broom. The sun was setting and he was expected back at the mansion for dinner, as it was being held in his honour, tomorrow he would be leaving his home to spend time with his friends in Diagon Alley before his return to Hogwarts to start his seventh year.

His friends… Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, his brothers, his kin, partners in crime by the name of ‘The Marauders’ and they were his resolution, the distraction of his depressive memories. Sirius, known among them as Padfoot was the closest to him and since knowing each other they had been inseparable, unmistakably dubbed as brothers. Remus, who went by the name Moony had been James’ sounding board, the reason for his understanding, voicing mainly his and Sirius’ conscience and sensibility.

For James there were no need for words for the friendship he had with Remus and Sirius. They rarely had to explain themselves to each other, they just knew each other, one look in the eyes said everything that could ever be spoken and more. As for Peter, referred to as Wormtail, he simply existed, their mascot, the reason they had formed their group, pledging to plague the Slytherin’s with trouble.

Even though Peter was not intellectually or physically to their standards he had a place among them as he had given them the realization of the joys of pranks and rule breaking. Not that it had not existed within them before but during James’, Sirius’ and Remus’ plan of revenge (in the honour of Peter) on a certain group of Slytherin’s the three had come to a mutual understanding that they were meant to be a team in their shenanigans.

In their own unique ways his three friends had stood by him, supporting him by the mere fact of being what they had always been to him, friends of his soul and it was there that they were tied to each other, in the bond of friendship. It was because of them that he had carried on going, with them he could smile, with them he could push away the pain, locking it at the back of his mind until he returned home for summer. Home… it had become a forsaken place but this is where she was and for that he came back, to honour her memory, to let her know he had not forgotten her and never would.

His hand absently moved to his chest and into his robes where his fingers clasped around a ring hung from a silver chain. Bringing it up to his lips he closed his eyes and kissed it whispering, “Don’t worry love, home is where the stars are. Be patient, I’ll be with you soon.” before turning away and flying home.

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2. Collision of Fate

LoL Thank you to my first reviewers… all called “Enter Name” how cool is that!? :p This fic is my first fic ever… so bear with me. I am glad that you are all a bit confused but things will eventually clear up… confusion is all meant to be part of the plot. But just to move the story along a bit I decided to post a new chapter a bit earlier than I intended to J I hope it didn’t put you off reading… Enjoy J

Chapter One: Collision of Fate

It was the summer before Lily Evans’ seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and she was spending the last few days of it in Diagon Alley. This was because her parents were away on business and Lily didn’t think she could face being cooped up in a house with her ghastly sister, Petunia, and ghastly was an understatement. As for her parents, Lily loved them deeply, painfully deeply, and although their business affairs called them away a lot Lily knew that they made the effort to be home during school holidays.

Smiling to herself Lily set out of The Leaky Cauldron, where she was staying and went to explore, for the hundredth time the shops of Diagon Alley. Her parents had given her a small fortune for becoming head girl and Lily planned on treating herself extensively as she walked down the street looking through the shop windows that had never ceased to fascinate her.

Suddenly loud bangs and explosions erupted further down the street followed by screaming and laughter. Lily whipped around to see what the commotion was only to find a man running straight at her, he was looking back over his shoulder shouting, “Come on Padfoot!”

Lily stood paralysed as the man turned his head back the right way to see where he was going but it was too late Lily let out a piercing scream as the man crashed into her sending both of them to the floor.

<<Oh Shit!>> he thought to himself as he looked down at the girl beneath him, it was no one other than Lily Evans, her eyes were sealed shut, her long dark red hair pooled around her head like fresh blood. Suddenly her eyes fluttered open, surprise flashed her eyes but quickly annoyance and irritation took over them in a flame of anger.

“Potter!” She hissed

“Hey Evans.” James Potter replied with a sheepish grin on his face.

“Prongs you fool! What the hell- oh, OH! Why, if it isn’t Lily Evans, fancy old Jamesie here have you of all people break his fall, ey?” Came the unmistakable voice of Sirius Black, well known as James Potter’s significant other as they were inseparable.

Lily frowned and flushed, “Get off me!” she said hotly as she shoved James’s shoulders.

Almost reluctantly James lifted himself off Lily though his whole body seemed to be burning, still grinning he offered Lily his hand which she slapped away. With some difficulty Lily pulled herself off the ground and stormed into Flourish and Blotts after giving both James and Sirius death looks.

“What was that all about?” came a voice behind James and Sirius, James who was staring after Lily’s disappearing back and Sirius who was staring at James staring at Lily disappearing.

Sirius turned to the speaker, “Prongs here had a little run in with Evans, Moony.”

Remus frowned, “Ah, not good.”

Sirius smirked but James turned around to face his two friends and shrugged, “She was in my way.”

Remus raised his eyebrow, “I think you two should lay off her this year, she’s had enough. No, I don’t need to hear you excuses,” he said waving his hand at his two friends who were about to voice their innocent protests, “I’ll meet you guys in Zonko’s.” he added as he quickly followed Lily into Flourish and Blotts.

James and Sirius shrugged and headed over to their favourite joke shop, Zonko’s.

“Hey Lily, a penny for your thoughts.” Remus whispered behind Lily as she was staring absent minded at books on the shelves.

Lily turned around and threw herself on Remus raining his face with little kisses, “Remy! How are you?”

Remus chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, I’m ok, what’s up?”

Lily rolled her eyes, “I could strangle that Potter!” she said in annoyance her hands mimicking strangling someone’s neck.

Remus frowned, “He’s not that bad you know Lily, give the guy a chance, he can actually be quite decent once you get to know him.”

Lily groaned, “I know he’s your friend and everything Remus, but I know all I want to know about him. He is nothing more than an immature, conceited, fat headed, arrogant, intolerable, snobby, insufferable and sleazy bastard! I’ve seen enough and heard enough.”

Remus sighed and ruffled Lily’s hair, “Ah, Lily, as you say he is my friend, and likewise so are you, yet I see two completely different sides to what you see of each other, just give him a chance this year and don’t jump down his throat at the smallest thing he does. You have a talent of making a war out of a rice grain when it comes to James.”

Lily shook her head, “I stand by what I say, I don’t like him. He sickens me, the way he is, the way he breathes, he invades my space all the time and I hate it!”

Remus shrugged, “All I am asking is that you give him a chance. Anyway, care to join me for dinner tonight? I know you are staying in the cauldron, Siobhan told me so, she and Miki will be here day after tomorrow no?”

Lily grinned, “Yeah, we‘re meeting on the platform. And dinner would be great, ugh, my summer was dismal with my sister! WAIT!” Lily almost yelled as if remembering something, then defiantly she said, “If I come to dinner with you that means Potter and Black will-“

Remus laughed lightly cutting her off with a wave of his hand, “Now what was that little thing you said about maturity, hmm? Its just dinner, and I will be there, what could possibly go wrong? We’re in the same house for Godric’s sake, it’s our last year, give it a break already!”

Lily groaned, “Fine! But if he says or does ONE thing Rem, and I mean it, I will leave! And don’t try stopping me!”

Remus smiled, “That’s more like it, see you in The Cauldron at 7.30 then.”

“Moony, I think you’ve just signed Prongs’ death warrant…” Sirius groaned though his eyes sparked with mischief and intrigue.

“I mean it, well mannered, behaved, prank-less, civilized, proper, respectable and charming conversation. This is your first step towards proving yourself Prongs, don’t blow it.” Remus said giving James a meaningful look.

James was concentrating and listening intently to what Remus was saying, “Right, prank-less, well mannered, behaved, we allowed to joke?” James raised his eyebrow which was met with a stern shake of Remus’ head, “No? Ok, jokeless, civilized, proper, charming, respectable, did I miss anything?” Remus shook his head and grinned proudly at James, “Good. Ok, that’s sorted then. Sooo… shall we head over to the cauldron now then?” he said looking up expectantly at his two friends who stared at him and suddenly both burst out laughing.

“WHAT!?” James roared.

Sirius and Remus were laughing so hard they were supporting each other to stop them from falling over. Finally Remus straightened up, “Prongs, it’s only 4o’clock, what are we going to do for three and a half hours in the cauldron?”

James flushed and then shrugged, “Lost track of time, so what shall we do now then?”

Sirius who had stopped laughing though still wore a huge smirk on his face said, “Well, what do you say to heading over to the cauldron for a few games of chess or exploding snap?”

Remus grinned, “Good idea Padfoot!”

James threw his arms out in despair, “That’s where I just said we should go you great Danes!” and strode towards the cauldron without looking back at his two friends who were smirking and grinning at each other.

“He’s for real with her Moony, I swear this one is for real, Ice Witch Evans.” Sirius said as he and Remus followed in James’ wake towards the cauldron.

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3. Dinner

Enter Name, Phoenix, erica, Enter name, flower child, Maeghan and Enter Name, thanks a ton for your reviews J means loads to me as its my first fic and so far I feel that it’s positive… even if most of you are a bunch of confused bunnies. Heh I’m happy though because its part of my plot. I hope this doesn’t put you off reading… be patient with me! And now moving swiftly on… a lame chapter:

Chapter Two: Dinner

Lily pranced around her room in distress at The Leaky Cauldron with a fluffy white towel wrapped around her body and another wrapped around her wet hair. She was rummaging furiously through her clothes, muttering to herself as she randomly threw things over her shoulder.

“What’s the big deal? Its only dinner with Remus.“ She mutter to herself.

‘Ah, of course, not to mention James Potter as well as Sirius Black hmm?’ a voice retorted inside her head.

<<And what difference would that make?>> Lily frowned.

‘The difference that normally you never care what you wear and now nothing from your extensive wardrobe seems appropriate.’

<<That’s absurd! I‘m just looking for something I thought I packed!>> she said indignantly to the mysterious voice.

‘Oh is it? Then pray tell why you have thrown your whole wardrobe over your shoulder?’

<<Well, a girl needs to dress appropriately.>> Lily spat defiantly.

‘For Remus, I’m sure.’ There was a sarcastic tone to the voice.

<<Absolutely!>> Lily retorted hotly.

‘Then the fact that you find James Potter rather attractive, despite his immaturity and conceited fat head?’

“Oh Don’t be RIDICULOUS!” Lily yelled and then flushed. “I must be going a bit mad.”

‘Indeed.’

“Shut up you!” she snapped at the voice echoing in the back of her mind.

As in despair Lily threw on a pair of semi-formal black pants and a dark green sleeveless turtle neck. Satisfied she then dried her hair with a charm and sat down at her little vanity table.

“Oh Bugger!” she exclaimed as she saw the time. Quickly she put on some lip gloss and hurriedly left her room.

“What’s taking her so god damn long?” James complained as they waited at the table.

Sirius smirked, “I didn’t know you were so anxious to die Prongs.”

Remus chuckled, “It’s only quarter past, besides, she’s half French, which means she will arrive 15minutes fashionably late, French manners, its expected.”

Sirius groaned, “Well she’s in bloody England now and I’m starved, besides you’re half French Moony, you’re never late.”

Remus grinned, “Do I look like a woman to you!? It‘s a Lady‘s thing.”

Sirius snorted, “And Evans is? Damn prude.”

James and Sirius were sitting next to each other and Remus was opposite Sirius, both by the window leaving the chair opposite James conveniently for Lily.

Remus who was facing the stairs stood up and waved as he saw Lily slowly coming down the stairs, on cue both James and Sirius shot out of their seats as if they had been sitting on hot coals and turned to face Lily who was sauntering over to them waving and smiling back at Remus. James’ breath caught in his throat, it was rare to see Lily smile, especially in his presence. Almost as if she had read his thoughts the smile from Lily’s face disappeared as she saw James. Giving Remus four kisses on the cheek, Parisian (suburbs) style she took her seat. James frowned, although he knew it was a French tradition to greet each other with kisses he had never gotten used to his dream girl kissing his best mate, even if it was just on the cheeks.

The three boys seated themselves once Lily had sat down. Sirius had a huge grin on his face and James was still frowning.

“Hey Ev-Lily” Sirius said.

Lily turned to Sirius with a cold smile on her face and said quietly mocking him, “Hey Bla-Sirius.”

James looked intently at Lily and whispered, “Hey Lily”

Lily simply nodded in acknowledgement without looking at him causing James to frown and look down at the table cloth. An awkward silence descended upon the table of four when Sirius finally said, “So, Lily, how has your day been?”

Lily looked at Sirius and smiled weakly, “It was great mostly, a dark and evil storm cloud appeared this afternoon, but Remus cleared it up nicely.”

Sirius chuckled, “Couldn’t have been much of a ‘dark and evil’ storm cloud if old Remus here could clear it up now could it?” lifting his butter beer to his lips.

Lily’s eyes turned icy cold, “Well you see Sirius, Remus could clear up any storm cloud that hovers over me, no matter how dark or evil. He, possesses a great sense of maturity and kindness unlike other boys of his age who he hangs out with.”

Sirius choked on his butter beer and spluttering something he excused himself to the bathroom. Remus seeing the opportunity said that he would go and order their food.

The awkward silence settled in again as Lily and James were left alone at the table. Both were staring at the table cloth as if it was the most interesting thing ever created.

James glanced up to look at Lily and said quietly, “So… how was your summer?”

Lily not moving her eyes from the table cloth replied in a just as quiet voice, “Fine”

“Cool… staying here?”

“Yes.”

“So are we… you’re room ok?”

“Yes.”

“Great… get here today?”

“Yes”

“Sweet.. us too… so erm… Siobhan and Miki coming later?”

“No.”

“Uh…oh, seeing them on the train then?”

“Yes.”

“Ah… cool, erm… congrats on making Head girl.”

“Thanks”

“Should be fun..”

“Yeah”

“Great… well… hmm… eer… sorry about crashing into you today, I really didn’t see you.”

“Ok”

“Fine… if that’s the way you’re going be, What colour underwear are you wearing?”

Lily’s eyes shot up from the tablecloth as she bolted out of her seat shouting, “THAT IS NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS POTTER!”

James stood up as well and yelled back, “WELL MISS PRISS I WAS JUST TRYING TO HAVE A BEHAVED, WELL MANNERED, PRANK-LESS, PROPER, RESPECTABLE, CHARMING, CIVILISED AND JOKELESS CONVERSATION WITH YOU!” James sat back down again and grinned sheepishly adding, “But hey, at least I got a sentence out of you.”

Lily’s chest was heaving, if looks could kill James would’ve been dead a thousand times over with knives and daggers sticking out all over him, but James stared back into her eyes unwavering, challenging her to tell him that he had been anything other than polite.

Remus reappeared, “What was that all about? I leave you two for three minutes and hell breaks lose.”

Lily turned her death stare to Remus who raised his eyebrow at her as if saying, ‘and what is that look supposed to make me do, quiver in fear? Give me a break, I’m immune to your looks.’

Lily sighed, “Potter here needs to learn some manners.”

James snorted, “Nice talk on the ‘maturity’ issue and storm clouds from before Evans, you’re enough to create a monsoon over any living being, and even Remus couldn’t get rid of it.”

Lily’s head snapped back at James, “White Potter, white with pink hearts.”

James gaped at Lily, his mouth opening and closing in sheer disbelief, he looked positively gob smacked, it was priceless in Lily’s eyes, “Wha-What?!” he stuttered.

Lily smirked and sat down, “In answer to your question, Potter, they are white with pink hearts on them. Seeing as I don’t like being insulted for my maturity, I suppose I have to sink to your level of it.”

Remus suppressed a chuckle with a smirk and looked at James questioningly and then turned to Lily, “Dare I ask what the question was?”

Lily shrugged, “Potter asked me what colour underwear I am wearing.”

James flushed and Remus opened his mouth in disbelief at James. At that point Sirius returned, curiously looking back and forth from James to Lily and then raised an eyebrow at Remus, “What was all the commotion? I could hear you guys all the way to the bathroom!”

Remus shook his head, “You don’t wanna know mate.”

Sirius grinned and took his seat, “Okey-Dokey then, time to order, my lovelies?

Remus grinned at Sirius, “Already did the honours mate, Tom’s coming with another round of butterbeers.”

Sirius chuckled, “Aah, good stuff.”

Yet again the awkward silence settled over the quartet, James was frowning at the table cloth lost in thought, Lily on the other hand was constantly glaring at James while Remus and Sirius exchanged mischievous knowing looks at each other while observing the oblivious love-doomed couple.

Breaking the silence Sirius daringly addressed Lily, “So, Lily, what are your goals for this year as our beloved head girl?”

Lily turned to Sirius and sighed, “I, along with the head boy, plan to rid the school of disruptive trouble makers by bringing back corporal punishment, you know me, the goodie-two-shoes that I am, I love to be in all superiors good books, even Filch. Then I will go on to rule the world. And your ambitions are?” she knew full well what The Marauder’s thought of her, well, James and Sirius to be more precise.

Tom returned with four butterbeers and left.

Sirius grinned, taking a sip of his butterbeer, “With the head boy then is it?” he smirked, “And you’re dripping with sarcasm my fair lady. I, Sirius Black, have goals to break the detention record set by my role model, our very own Albus Dumbledore, have you ever read Hogwarts, A History Lily? Dumbledore was by far, the most mischievous wizards ever to attend Hogwarts… aaah the joys to be the one to follow in his footsteps. What about you Prongs?”

James’ head jerked up from his observation of the table cloth, “What?”

Sirius sighed, “Never mind mate, Moony?”

Remus chuckled, “I chose to remain secretive about my future ambitions thank you very much.”

Sirius winked and James snorted and was about to say something when Tom came with their French Onion soup starter. Silently the quartet started to eat.

“So, Lily, picking up once more on our conversation, what did you do for summer?” James said with a serious tone, looking Lily straight in the eye.

Lily dabbed her mouth with a napkin and frowned at James, “I went to the south of France.”

James grinned, “Sun and sea eh? Where abouts’ were you?”

Lily was clearly annoyed by James inquisitions, his grin mocked her, he knew she couldn’t be rude or refuse to answer, especially since he wasn’t seemingly rude towards her and especially not in front of Remus. James was, after all, being normal and civil, this was out of the ordinary and it troubled Lily because she felt insecure and unprepared. Normally when she had to talk to James Potter it was throwing provoked insults at him, now she was forced to have a decent conversation with him and it vexed her for the triumphant look on his face as Lily knew he knew just exactly what he was doing and what she was thinking. Through gritted teeth she replied, “Palavas… it’s near Montpellier, by the beach.”

James nodded, still holding eye contact with Lily, desperately willing her to see that he was genuinely interested and wanted to have a proper conversation with her. “Sounds great, so tell me, are the beaches there as nice as they are believed to be?”

Lily sighed inwardly, “Yeah, they’re ok, the city is nice too, absolutely beautiful…”

“I can only imagine… the most I’ve seen of France is Paris.” James replied. “Though I have been to Greece, and the beaches are there are fantastic! Ever been?”

Lily shook her head, “No, but I’d like to go though, apparently Athens holds some of the worlds most ancient magic alongside Egypt, curses and such.”

Remus and Sirius were grinning at each other as they watched Lily and James deep in conversation, this was a strange sight indeed. Never in their whole lives of knowing the pair had they seen them have a civil conversation. Lily seemed to have forgotten about the ‘cold’ role she usually played in James’ presence and James himself was clearly enjoying it.

Dinner went fairly smoothly in Remus’ opinion, at least, as smoothly as dinner could go between James Potter, Sirius Black and Lily Evans at the same table. It was evident that, as dinner drew to a close James was reluctant for it to end, but headed up to bed after Sirius and not before saying “Good night, sleep well and sweet dreams.” To Lily. Remus walked Lily to her room and received his usual four kisses good bye and headed back to his shared room with Sirius and James. The two were already engrossed in a game of wizard chess so Remus bid them his good nights and went off to his bed to read… soon nodding off to welcomed sleep.

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4. After Thoughts

Thank you for my new reviews phoenix, MasterDeath, Dupond and Faeries Masquerade. MasterDeath, yes this was posted on FFN up until about this chapter now, but I’m changing it a bit, I will update on FFN too, or take it off altogether. Hehe dupond, lis et peut etre tu vas savoir. I hope I can keep you smiling phoenix! J Sorry the story may stretch out from time to time though hope you all enjoy reading nonetheless.

Chapter Three: After Thoughts

James and Sirius were deep into a game of wizard chess while Remus lay on his bed reading gently nodding off to sleep. The room was fairly large with three single beds on the far side of the room complete with lanterns on the bedside tables by each of the beds, James and Sirius were seated in the small yet comfortable sitting area of the room equip with a small fireplace. The game intensified and ended with James grunting, “Check mate buddy”

Sirius grinned, “What is it with you and her then Prongs?”

James sank back into the comfy armchair and raised his eyebrow though avoiding Sirius’ inquisitive gaze, “What do you mean?”

Sirius sighed, “You like her don’t you?”

James grinned, “Who?”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “Evans! You great Bernard!” he said, slightly annoyed.

James chuckled, “Oh her!”

“Yes! ‘her’ any other Evans we know of?” Sirius was starting to get highly agitated.

James looked almost convincingly thoughtful, “Weell… there is her sister, though I don’t think she’s really my cup of tea.”

Sirius rolled his eyes again, “So you do like her then.”

James looked taken back his face twisted in disgust and he appeared to be genuinely shocked though he was still grinning, “Are you MAD!? She looks like a horse gone wrong!”

“Not HER! Lily you idiot! Lily Evans.” Sirius groaned.

“What about Lily?” James replied cocking his eyebrow in mock wonder and grinning like a fool.

Sirius looked like he was ready to thump James, “My God James! Will you please refrain from insulting me, I’ve known you since you’ve been wiggling around in your dads scrotums for Godric’s sake! Spare me the whole I-don’t-know-what-the-fuck-you-are-talking-about look and spit it out?! Merlin!”

“It would help if you told me what the fuck it is you want to know mate.” James said, trying to look like he had no idea in the world what his best friend and closest thing to a brother was talking about.

Sirius threw his arms out in front of him punching the air at random, very likely wishing it were James’ face that came into contact with his fists and let out a growl of exasperation, “For the love of Rowena! James, Lily Evans, God sent girl, blood red fiery hair, emerald green eyes, head girl, Ice Witch, DO.YOU.LIKE.HER?”

James chuckled, evidently enjoying himself, “Oh, well, now you come to mention it… I guess I do, have I been that obvious?”

Sirius sighed, resigning himself, sinking back into his chair “James, its been obvious that you’ve been wanting to get into her knickers since you knew what your dick was for and royally pissing her off in the process. What I mean is that you’re serious about her aren’t you? That its not just some game like usual, this one really is for real, init?”

James drifted off into thought yes, he was serious about this one as none of the other ones had made him feel anything like this before except her, but she was dead to him now, dead to the world. Lily Ice Witch Evans… the cold, distant, innocent, naïve and untouchable Lily Evans. Well, cold was probably a bit too harsh, she wasn’t as cold as the whole school made her out to be. He and Sirius had dubbed her as the “Ice Witch” simply because she was so innocent and reserved, eventually it had become “Lily Evans; Ice Witch, Cold Bitch” but realistically she was The Goddess of Gryffindor. James knew better than that, Christ, he had been subconsciously analysing her since as far back as their first year. It was a Potter trait, to know ones company. Both James’ parents were Aurors, well, all of his ancestors had been Aurors, the Potter family were one of Britain’s Oldest Wizarding families, his heritage could be drawn back to the dawn of time.

James knew Lily like he knew the back of his hand, she was far from cold, no girl, no living human being with that much depth and feeling inside of them could be cold, and James knew of her flaming rage better than anyone as he had been victim of her fiery temper many times. No, Lily Evans was full of passion, torn between her emotions and what was expected of her and for that she strove to be in control of her wild and passionate emotions. Underneath her smile she was fragile, behind the vicious battles he had had with her she was threatening to break.

Sirius snapped his fingers in front of James’ face, bringing him back to earth, “Huh? Oh, yes, I suppose you could say that.”

Sirius groaned and headed for his bed, “I’ll let you be Prongs, you’re obviously in no mood to confide in me, regardless of the fact that I’ve known you since you wiggled in your dads scrotums.” with that Sirius threw himself on his bed and went out like a light.

James chuckled, his best friend, his brother, Sirius Black… what girls would go through to have him, what guys would do to be like him. James sighed as his thoughts wondered back to Lily. She was in some ways like Sirius, seemingly so carefree, so fearless, but deep down they were nothing more than a bundle of emotions, threatening to bring them down and tear them apart from within.

Lily was an idol, girls hated her for her beauty and at the same time loved her for her genuine ignorance of it. Guys stared at her in awe and desire though never ventured beyond flirting with her lightly. Lily simply could not be touched, not only was she on a sacred dais but her aura was foreboding, and not in a bad way, it was more of a pureness to her. James could only simplify it to the absurd innocence that radiated from Lily. Cold and distant she was, yet at the same time she was warm, loving and kind.

Another thing that shielded so many suitors of Lily was her two friends, Michelle Amoretti and Siobhan McPherson, Lily was never seen without one or the other and they themselves were like titanium wall defences, keeping all men at a certain distance, aye, but she was alone today, without the other two members of the trio, that had to count for something. In their previous younger years at Hogwarts everyone had looked down to Lily as a little sister who needed protecting and help, since their fifth year when she had been a prefect until now in their last year she was looked up to by the younger years as a big sister who gave them warmth, advice and confidence.

Lily Evans, like Sirius Black held a lot of pain within her and fought to be in control, not much different from James himself, coming to think of it, it was not much different from anyone who had suffered. Sirius numbed the pain by pursuing girls, searching for love to replace the denied love of his mother… another paradox as he did not allow himself to get attached for fear of being hurt again. This was the simple version of the psychology behind his friend’s behaviour.

Lily on the other hand strove to be in control of her emotions by locking them away deep within herself. Pushing everything painful away to the back of her mind and focusing on her school work. James smiled at himself, she was so innocent, behind the mature stature she gave off she was a child, screaming to be noticed, praying to be loved. He did not know the cause of her suffering, it was perhaps her family… James couldn’t know this, the only people Lily would speak to were either Siobhan or Michelle and James doubted that she let them in on much. Remus was probably another possible candidate but regarding the fact that Remus was a Marauder and therefore close to James, he also doubted that Lily would confide in Remus either.

Lily was strong, he had to give her that, she was a lot stronger than Sirius or any other person he knew, she hid it well… but he saw right through her. It maddened James to how ignorant Lily was, and she was extremely stubborn, for so long she had structured and composed herself into an environment she felt secure in. She lived in her own world and no one, absolutely no one could penetrate into it, she blocked it out, either genuinely not seeing things for what they were or otherwise it was the mind set she had built around herself that acknowledged everything but downright denied the truth, knowing that Lily would not be able to tolerate the it. This was perhaps the reason why she had never dated, it was common knowledge that Lily Evans was one of the most beautiful girls to attend Hogwarts. Boys flirted left right and centre with her and although they were cautious it was blatantly obvious. Lily simply took it as friendly gestures and innocently flirted back completely oblivious to what was being implied. This drove James completely and utterly nuts, he wanted to take out any guy that dared approach her, in his mind she was to remain on her sacred pedestal.

Then there was Remus… the mastermind, the intellect, the logical speaker, it was probably Remus more than anyone that kept James and Sirius at bay. At least, as much as at bay as they could be because both James and Sirius were known to go to extreme limits. Remus’ motive was completely different, he strove to do well in school, to be the best at every subject just to prove himself to society. Of course, society didn’t really know what was wrong with him that needed proving but it was a personal goal of Remus’. He shunned himself from his surroundings because he regarded himself as a lower being, but that’s where society had put him anyway, and there again was the paradox Remus lived in.

James himself had problems… his memories were worst of all. The crux of his deeply buried depression… love. The green eyes, the red hair… it had haunted him for what seemed to be forever. Time and time again he had tried to push her out of his mind, taking other girls to banish her from his thoughts, continuously asking out the one girl who reminded him so much of his painful and forsaken love, over and over again he would ask her out knowing that she would outright deny him, wishing that her denial would put his guilt at ease, and rest his mind from the torment of having to relive his memories with each and every time he lay his eyes upon her… Lily Evans.

James sighed as he got out of his chair, heavy with slumber he headed towards his bed and lay down. Today had brought back many memories… it had been a year but the pain was so fresh as if it had happened yesterday. Gradually James fell into a deep dreamless sleep, though unknown to him his dreams were filled with white backgrounds full of throbbing pink hearts.

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5. Head Boy

The Head Boy

“Lily! Oi! Lils!” The clear and heavily Irish accented voice of Siobhan McPherson rung out through the crowd of people in King’s Cross Station.

Lily grinned before turning to search for the source of the voice, there she was, Siobhan McPherson, her surrogate sister and one of two of her best friends in the world. Siobhan was part Irish part Scottish and had long dead straight raven black hair that hung almost to her waist. Her eyes were a deep sparkling violet-blue. Siobhan was fairly tall though with a petite frame.

Spreading her arms out to greet her friend Lily laughed, “God I’ve missed you so much!”

Siobhan returned the embrace warmly, “And me you my dear!”

Lily giggled, “Where’s Miki?”

Siobhan rolled her eyes, “She just went through the barrier to go and bag us a compartment! Come on lets go!” Siobhan squealed as she pushed her trolley towards the barrier of platform 9 and ¾ with Lily following close behind her.

After stowing away their trunks Siobhan and Lily went in search for the third member of the Hogwarts “Trio”. They soon found Michelle in a compartment sitting with Remus and Peter chatting away about their summer.

“Miker-doodles!” Lily exclaimed as she pounced on her friend giving her a big warm hug and then turned to greet Remus and Peter with hugs too asking them all how their summer had been.

Suddenly everyone in the compartment burst out singing, “For Lily’s a jolly good lady, for Lily’s a jolly good lady for making Head Girl de Hogwarts!” Two more voices joined in, “Hip, hip, Hooray! Hip, hip Hooray!”

Giggling Lily groaned, “You people are so silly!” as she turned to see that the two voices belonged to the two hell raisers of Hogwarts, James Potter and Sirius Black who were conveniently blocking the compartment doorway. On noticing them Lily’s face fell as she muttered, “Well, I might as well go… meeting with head boy and prefects.” And she hastily got up and moved towards the compartment door, to her surprise they both stepped aside, without a word and let her through. Lily turned to Michelle and Siobhan and quickly said, “I’ll see you two soon.” And disappeared.

James grinned and Remus and Sirius, “Right then… duty calls…. Cant be late for my first meeting now can I?” and left hastily in a swish of cloak.

Siobhan and Michelle turned on Remus with their mouths open in surprise, “Potter is head boy?!”

Remus chuckled in reply and nodded as Sirius plonked himself down lazily into the space between Remus and Peter muttering happily, “Aaah I think we’ll be hearing screams soon, my lovelies!”

Michelle glared at Sirius, “Lily’s going to flip!”

Sirius grinned, “Aye, that she is.”

Siobhan groaned and eyed Sirius suspiciously, “Any other surprises you might like to share with us concerning the sanity of our Lily?”

Sirius chuckled and smirked, “Now, now, that information is highly classified! What’s the fun in revealing surprises to their victims?” Sirius turned to face Michelle before continuing, “One thing though Amoretti, my biscuit, you’re officially on the team this year, well, official off the bench… not that you were ever on it, whacking bloody bludgers by my seeking side, compliments from captain James, our very own head boy, dubbed leader of the infamous Marauders-“

Michelle squealed in delight, cutting Sirius off, as she threw her arms around Siobhan, “Woohoo! I’m officially on the team!”

And then she and Sirius launched into a fully fledged conversation about quidditch much to Remus’ and Siobhan’s dismay, because it was common knowledge that once Sirius started talking about quidditch, he never stopped.

Lily was almost at the Heads & Prefects compartment when she realized that she was being followed, whipping around to face her stalker Lily came face to face with James, much to her annoyance. He was removing his cloak smiling triumphantly at himself.

“And pray tell, what are you doing here, Potter?” Lily snapped irritably.

James sighed as he draped his cloak over his arm and replied, “For the exact same reason as you Evans. Now please, kindly step aside as I have a meeting to attend.”

Lily frowned as she took in James’ appearance, he was clad in his school robes, black trousers, white shirt, Gryffindor crest over his left breast pocket, Gryffindor tie loosely around his collar, WAIT- above his pocket… “NO! it can’t be!” she whispered in complete and utter horror as she saw the head boy badge pinned above his pocket, shining brightly, mocking her, “You- you are head boy?!”

James grinned, puffing his chest proudly, “So it seems my dear… only Godric knows what Dumbledore was thinking! Anyhow I’m overjoyed to be working with you this year, Evans.” he sang in mock happiness though his eyes gleamed with mischief.

Lily stared gob-smacked after James as he pushed his way past her into the Heads and Prefects compartment. In a fit of fury she stalked into the compartment after James and lashed out, “What is the meaning of this!? I demand that you stop your prank and go and return the badge to the proper head boy this instant, and it could only be Remus, Christ, I’d rather Snape or Malfoy next to you!”

James turned around slowly to face Lily, his eyes flashed in anger and hurt, when he spoke his voice was controlled and deep, “Well Evans, I suggest you live with the fact that I am head boy this year or resign your position if you must, because I’m not.” Seeing Lily’s incredulous look James continued, a smirk spreading his face mockingly, “Now, if you’d care to behave in a civilized and appropriate manner, I believe this first meeting requires a sense of maturity and dominance from the Head Girl as well as myself. If you fail to meet those standards then I myself am shocked you got the position…” his voice trailed off as he raised an eyebrow at her, taunting her to contradict him, daring her to rise to the challenge.

Lily opened her mouth a few times and snapped back at him, “Well I’m sure that it is required from head boy as well, and considering your past behaviour I highly disagree that you are fit for those required standards.” she replied lamely.

James grinned, “Touché darling, because at the moment, neither are you.”

Lily’s eyes narrowed in fury as James sat himself down comfortably in a sofa and smiled at her sweetly. Lily ignored him and haughtily sat down in one of the sofas as far away from him as possible.

James watched Lily out of the corner of his eye and smiled to himself, she would not get the better of him this year. She had changed slightly, become more courageous, more dominant, easier to vex and provoke, normally she said nothing to him when it could be avoided.

Soon the Heads & Prefects carriage was complete with all the prefects. Richard Hunt and Amelia Grail from Gryffindor, Nathan Bentley and Leigh Thompson from Ravenclaw, Bernard Bow and Sandra Frill from Hufflepuff and Regulus Black and Bellatrix Black from Slytherin.

“Right then, I take it that we are all here and this meeting is ready to start.” James said with a smirk on his face on getting the first word of authority in.

The prefects all nodded Regulus and Bellatrix sneered at Lily, Sandra was staring dreamily at James and the rest were looking stern and serious.

“Ok, well I suppose we should formally introduce ourselves, I’m James Potter, seventh year Gryffindor and will be ordering your lazy arses around for the rest of my short life at Hogwarts, and you are?” James grinned at Sandra.

Sandra blinked, “Oh, me? I’m Sandra Frill, Hufflepuff.”

Everyone introduced themselves until it was Lily’s turn, “Lily Evans.” she said curtly. The meeting droned on in Lily’s ears she wasn’t even listening. Finally James sent the prefects off to patrol the train and told them to do so every 20 minutes. Lily found herself once more alone in James’ company.

“Evans, in our next meeting I would be grateful if you contributed.” he sighed.

Lily snorted a laugh, “What, and agree on your egotistical commands and attitude? Think twice before you ask me to submit my opinions on your behalf.”

“Then resign, I wont work with an immature little girl who wears shoes too big for her. You‘re being petty.” James growled.

Lily stood abruptly and stormed out of the compartment. James sighed and pulled out a mirror from his pocket muttering, “Sirius Black” into it.

“What happened Prongs?” Came Sirius’ voice a few moments later as his face appeared in James’ mirror.

“Is she back in the compartment?” James asked, not bothering to answer Sirius’ question.

“Yeah, I’m outside now so they cant see me talk to you, she’s pissed mate, a banshee couldn’t compete and would be embarrassed by Evans‘ fury.” Sirius groaned, “Moony’s handling it though.”

“Good, anyway I’ll stay here, it’ll be safer that way.” James grinned and Sirius who smirked back.

Shoving the mirror back into his pockets James massaged his temples. The whole meeting Lily had been biting her lip and frowning. She wasn’t even listening to the compliments and praises he was giving her for being Hogwarts head girl and that he and she would be working hard together as a team to meet all that was required of them.

The blood red hair… the large innocent emerald eyes… her soft touches… pleading moans. Her soft lush lips parted repeating his name, “I love you, oh… dear Merlin, I love you so much.”

No, he wouldn’t think about her. Lily, she had to be banished from his mind because it wasn’t her he wanted to be thinking about, at least not like this. Dreams and fantasies to replace her… too close in likeliness for comfort. Chasing Lily away from his mind by insulting and being rude to her seemed to be tearing at his heart, but how could he welcome and embrace the very thoughts that caused him so much grief and guilt?

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6. Unspoken Rivalry

Firstly, thanks so much for the reviews! Secondly I am so sorry that it’s taken me so long to update, I was away in Thailand for a month and have had computer problems since I got back! All questions and doubts will be answered in the story… I’ll try not to make too many loops, first fic, bear with me!

Unspoken Rivalry

James couldn’t tear his eyes away from Lily all through the feast in the great hall. She was acting quite strange from what she was usually and he was burning to know what it was that troubled her.

The Trio were deep in conversation and Lily seemed to be infuriated. James chuckled, of course she was, he was head boy. James noticed Lily stiffen and she turned slowly towards the Ravenclaw table, James followed her gaze which landed on, Vincenzo Matteo.

James frowned, what was that bloody idiot doing staring at Lily? Vincenzo was half Italian half French and had transferred to Hogwarts in his fifth year. His mother, a retired French national quidditch player had gotten a job as the flying instructor and quidditch coach. His father was the wizard ambassador of Italy in England or something of the sort.

Vincenzo himself was on the Ravenclaw quidditch team as a chaser. James had always gotten along with him as their matches which, unlike when it was against Slytherin, was played fairly with good sportsmanship and most of all good manners.

James looked back at Lily and felt a pang of something when she smiled and waved at the Ravenclaw chaser. Frowning he turned to Remus, Sirius and Peter who were talking about something while feasting on their dinner.

“What’s her relationship like with Matteo?” James asked to no one in particular, knowing that one of his friends would answer anyhow and if not they would find out if he didn’t himself.

Remus raised an eyebrow, “Lily and Vincenzo Matteo?”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “Prongs’ infatuation with the ice witch is so bloody obvious, ‘she’ could be the cats mother for all we knew.” he said sarcastically.

Peter frowned, a look of confusion crossed over his face, “What cat?”

Sirius groaned in exasperation, “Stick to the plot Wormtail!”

Peter frowned, “What’s the plot?” Sirius shook his head despairingly in reply; Peter shrugged and carried on eating.

Remus chuckled, “Ah nothing really Prongs, they’re friends, always have been since he transferred, since he was only able to speak French and Italian. And you know how Lily is with helping people. She seems to be quite fond of him though I dare say.”

“Define ‘fond’” James said darkly, mildly irritated for a reason he wasn’t so sure of.

Remus sighed, “They get along well together.”

James nodded and frowned to himself, ‘get along well’’ then was it? He’d bloody show getting along well!

“Oi, Evans” James boomed down the table to where Lily sat causing Lily to turn and raise an annoyed eyebrow at him. “You still got the white with pink hearts?”

Lily face went scarlet and she turned back to Michelle and Siobhan, to James’ complete horror and IGNORED him!

“Evans! I asked you a-” he persisted.

Lily whipped her head around to face him her eyes blazing and cut him off, “Yes Potter, I am well aware of that, though considering the stupidity and lack of maturity of your question I refrain from answering. It really is none of your fucking business!” she spat.

James smirked and was about to say something when Professor McGonogall’s voice came from behind him, “Mr. Potter.” she said sternly and then turned to Lily, “and Miss Evans, to my office the instant you finish dinner if you please.” and then left the great hall.

Lily glared at James and stormed out of the great hall after saying a few words to Michelle and Siobhan who nodded in reply. James smirked at his fellow Marauders and stalked after Lily quickly to catch up with her.

“Evans, slow down!” He hissed as he strode along beside her.

“DON’T talk to me!” she spat without looking at him.

“But, Evans, you are doomed to work side by side with me for the rest of the school year… how could I possibly not talk to you?” James said triumphantly with a smirk gracing his dangerously good looking face.

Lily stopped dead in her tracks and closed her eyes, Merlin, give me strength she prayed. Slowly she turned her face sideways to look angrily at James, “Then it seems I will have to resign my position, because I don’t think I could stand the torture of working with you!” she sneered and continued walking up the staircase to McGonagall‘s office in the North Tower.

James frowned, he had dared tease her because he knew that she would never resign herself from Head Girl. But now he doubted what he had thought he knew as Lily’s face was set with determination, as was her confident stride along with her clenched fists that hung by her side. Maybe Moony was right, she had had enough this year.

Glumly he followed her up the stairs to McGonagall’s office. Once they were seated in front of her desk Professor McGonagall handed them each a piece of rolled parchment sealed with the Gryffindor crest.

“As head girl and boy of the school Miss Evans and Mr. Potter, you will be required to set a fine example to the prefects as well as the rest of the school body.” She looked at them sternly over the top of her glasses before continuing, “Even though I am pleased that the honours of these positions goes to Gryffindor, which is rare for head girl and head boy to be from the same house, I will not, however tolerate any problems or complaints from any of the other professors.” She paused for a breath and stared meaningfully at James.

“Your positions are not to be taken lightly, NEWT’s alone will have high demands on your efforts academically and you both also must fulfil expectations of head boy and girl. You shall both be residing in the Gryffindor tower, though not in your usual dormitories. As head boy and head girl you will need to be on call at all times if anything happens to go amiss. On the pieces of parchment I just gave you outline the codes of conduct and school rules as well as your duties for the rest of the school year.” Standing Professor McGonagall headed towards the door, “Come along now, I will show you to your chambers, unless either of you have any questions?”

Lily stood before glaring hatefully towards James and said quietly, “Professor, I wish to resign my position.” and handed her roll of parchment back to McGonagall.

Professor McGonagall’s eyebrow seemed to arch right up to the ceiling in surprise as she stared intently at Lily’s bowed head with her hawk eyes, “Miss Evans, would there be a reason for this resignation?”

Lily glanced up at her head of house and sighed, “I don’t think I quite reach the standards of Head Girl.”

The side of McGonagall’s lip twitched and her intrigued eyes moved to James’ pleading face, “Well Miss Evans, you were chosen for a reason, and that reason is that you, in fact, do meet all required standards of head girl. Your resignation is not acceptable, I will not have my own Gryffindor head girl and top student resign from a position that was rightfully placed upon her. Come along now.”

Lily felt like crying, more in frustration and anger than anything else. She was stuck with Potter for the rest of the academic year and there was no way out of it, she felt like a trapped mouse! Still, she held back her tears and followed Professor McGonagall down the halls and up and down stairs in the Gryffindor tower with her head high. James strode along beside her and stole frequent glances at her; although she was ignorant of it and James saw her inner turmoil.

Soon they arrived in front of a portrait of a wizard knight on horseback, sword and wand brandished in his hands, “Godrellic” McGonagall said loud enough for Lily and James to hear as the portrait swung inwards. “Very well, Miss Evans, Mr. Potter, this is the Gryffindors heads’ Quarters. Meetings will be held in the library every Monday afternoon before dinner with all the prefects. Miss Evans, your room is up the stairs to the left and down to the right, and Mr. Potter, up the stairs to the right and down to the left. You will find all your instructions in the parchment I gave you. Are you both clear?”

Both Lily and James nodded in unison and McGonagall bid them good night and left. Lily glanced around the room, it was perfect, well, minus the fact that she had to share it with Potter. Their common room wasn’t as big as that of Gryffindors but it was cosy decorated respectively in the Gryffindor colours. There was a fire place, couches a study area, some bookshelves and portraits hanging on the wall. Opposite the entrance portrait there was a grand staircase that split out into a landing going two separate directions, presumably to her room and James’ room.

“You know, this was Giles Gryffindor’s chambers… he was Godric’s great grandson.” James said quietly.

“Oh.” Lily said back and headed towards the staircase towards her room.

James watched her back disappear and sighed, sinking himself into the closest couch by the fireplace. This was going to be a trying year. Closing his eyes for a few brief minutes and forcing memories from his head James heaved himself out of the couch and headed for his own room, pulling a mirror out of his robes as he went up the stiars.

Her room wasn’t big but it was her own, and for that Lily was happy. Her double four poster bed with red and gold hangings stood in the centre of the wall opposite the door. To the right of the door was another door which Lily presumed was her bathroom. A small antique vanity table and wardrobes grandly graced her room and full length windows allowed the view of the clear starless night outside. Lily also noticed a small fireplace and a set of couches around it and a small alcove study area. Lily smiled to herself as she noticed her things had been brought up and packed away for her already. At least she had her room to escape to she thought gratefully.

7. Morning Glory, the wrong side of bed

Thanks again for all your reviews, I’m sorry I’m being a bit slow, I just have so much to do with University and sorting myself out to go back to England… leaving sunny south of France behind in a memory… one that I will definitely return to!! Answers will come over the next few chapters. By the way, I am looking for a plot helper if you’re interested please drop me an email!

Morning Glory, the wrong side of bed

“I still can’t believe he’s head boy!” Siobhan muttered as she and Miki sat down opposite Lily for Breakfast in the Great Hall a few days later.

“Don’t remind me and good morning to you too!” Lily snapped as she vigorously buttered her slice of toast, as if she wished it were James’ face she was scraping a knife on.

“Got out the wrong side of bed, Evans?” The familiar mocking voice of James Potter came from above her.

“Any concern of yours how I sleep, Potter?” Lily sneered throwing her knife down on her plate and hurling the slice of toast in frustration at James, who ducked, and stared after the toast which landed on Vincenzo’s head who spun around.

“Oh shit!” Lily exclaimed, “Vincenzo, I’m so sorry!” she gasped.

Vincenzo chuckled and said in French, “Don’t worry about it, how are you this morning, Lily?”

Lily rolled her eyes and shot a nasty glance at James pointedly before rapidly replying in French, “Shitty morning, the devil himself is on my tail and I am contemplating suicide! How’s your morning?”

Vincenzo grinned, “Better than yours by the looks of it, let me save you from the jaws of hell to a little seat beside me in heaven, Come” He joked in French and moved over on the bench.

Lily crawled under the Gryffindor table and sat herself down next to Vincenzo without a word to either Miki or Siobhan nor even a glance at James.

James sat himself down next to Siobhan irritated, “What is her problem?” he groaned.

Siobhan gave James a death look, “Obviously you are, you twit!” she spat and got up and sat down at the Ravenclaw table.

Miki shrugged, “Don’t look at me James.” And followed Siobhan, leaving James bewildered in his seat until Remus’ voice snapped him out of his little trance.

“What was that all about, Prongs’?” Remus sighed somewhat defeated as he sat down next to his best friend.

“If you saw, then why bother asking? I only asked Evans if she got out the wrong side of bed, she was in a foul mood.” James grunted, nodding to Sirius and Peter who sat down opposite him and Remus at the Gryffindor table and immediately started eating.

“Ever considered rephrasing your questions when it concerns Lily, James?” Remus muttered as he grabbed a chocolate croissant.

“What is wrong with asking someone if they got out of the wrong side of bed?” James said heatedly, “Oi! Grail!” James yelled down the table at Gryffindor’s Prefect who looked up from her breakfast, “Did you get out the wrong side of bed this morning?”

Amelia Grail grinned, “I always get out the wrong side of bed, I have to get out of it.”

James turned back to Remus, “There, nothing wrong with the question at all!” he said indignantly, proving his point.

Remus groaned and carried on eating his chocolate croissant, it was pointless trying to get a point across to James, James saw a point when James wanted to see one.

Actually, James did see Remus’ point, he saw it very clearly the bigger point was that he couldn’t help himself, Merlin knew he’d tried, but Lily seemed to pull out the worst in him. Well, actually she deserved to be teased, she had to be teased. He wanted to make her angry, to give him a reason… her anger seemed to keep him going. Provoking her seemed to satisfy him, but then why did he feel so guilty afterwards? James groaned at himself, this dilemma was doing his head in.

“James, you have a meeting today, don’t you?” Remus grunted as they headed towards their defence against the dark arts class.

Sirius chuckled, “Aah another forced encounter with Icy Evans… Have fun, mate.”

James shrugged, “She’s an immature little twat to be honest, I can’t be fucked with her ways anymore.”

Remus sighed and Sirius chuckled, “Yeah alright mate, for someone you cant be fucked with you seem to pay her a lot of attention.”

James frowned, “Lily Evans is a stuck up prude who wear shoes two sizes too big for her!”

“And you are an arrogant fat headed git, Potter!” Lily hissed behind him.

James spun around and came face to face with Lily, smirking and ruffling his hair he replied, “That one’s getting a bit old Evans, considering your outstanding abilities in classes I’m surprised you cant find new insults in the dictionary.”

Lily raised her eyebrows, “Well Potter, that’s because despite my repetitive insults you still persist on being the same arrogant prick. One would think to look at ones self when someone’s view point of them doesn’t change after six and a half years.”

“Perhaps because that someone’s view point doesn’t count and I don’t give a damn what you think of me because you’re insignificant.” James said icily then suddenly he grinned, “On that note, Evans, will you go out with me?”

Lily laughed, “I think I am quite significant to you actually Potter, you never can help yourself saying something to me… obviously I have an effect on you. So please, spare me, prove my insignificance and keep your big fat mouth to yourself in my presence. And no, I wont go out with you, even if you were the last man on earth!” And stormed passed James with Miki and Siobhan following close behind her, leaving James in a cold fury.

Sirius chuckled, “I think she got you there mate, I rest my case.”

“What is your problem with him, honestly Lily” Siobhan whispered as they waited outside the Transfiguration classroom.

“He annoys me, he can’t keep his god damn mouth shut! He invades my space, he’s a rude insolent pig, he’s cocky, he always bitches and badmouths me at every opportunity even if there isn’t one! He just pisses me the fuck off!” Lily snapped, “Anyway you know! Why are you asking me this, you’ve always been around when he’s had his fun insulting me! And honestly I don’t want to ever have to hear his name ever again!”