The Sacrifice by Faeries Masquerade

Rating: NC17
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 5
Published: 30/01/2004
Last Updated: 04/08/2004
Status: Completed

Sirius watches as Lily and James fall in love, are torn apart, and are brought back together
again in their final year at Hogwarts. The year also bring drama to the life of Remus Lupin, who
finds love with the most unlikely person imaginable as the world falls apart around them with the
beginning of the first war against Voldemort. Now rated NC-17 for darkness, violence, etc.




1. Destruction and Innocence
----------------------------



The Sacrifice

*Chapter 1: Destruction and innocence*

Parts of the house were on fire and there was smoke everywhere. The house itself was creaking
and groaning, as if it might collapse around him at any moment. He was kneeling on bits and pieces
of glass that had come from the shattered windows and they were making his knees bleed... but
Sirius didn't notice any of it. He didn't see the destroyed furniture in his best
friend's living room, or notice that the only light came from the flames in the kitchen. He
noticed nothing but the face of his best friend as he held James in his arms...his face...lifeless,
cold, and gray, his eyes wide and terrified.

Sirius held James in his arms and sobbed as though his heart would break with grief. *How
could I let this happen? It was my idea to switch, it was mine. I talked them into this and
now....now....* He held the dead James to his chest and cried even harder, unable to stop the
flow of tears and the crushing wave of guilt that threatened to consume him entirely.
*I'll kill him for this...that stupid, weak, slimy RAT.....oh god, James...poor James, poor
Lily.............Lily*
Sirius' eyes opened as his mind finally registered what was happening around him: his
surroundings, and the sound of a screaming from upstairs, a baby...
"LILY!" Sirius screamed at the top of his lungs. He let James fall to the floor as he
stood and fled for the stairs. *She's hiding with Harry...he didn't find her*, he
thought as he ran. But he knew...even as he ran flat out towards the source of baby Harry's
cries, he knew in his heart of hearts she was gone.
Sirius stopped in the doorway and stared in shock at what lay before him: Lily, dead on the floor
next to the bed, beside her, sweet baby Harry with an ugly, dark red wound on his forehead crying
and crying, and there on the wall...a dark shadow lingered, a shadow Sirius didn't see for he
couldn't take his eyes off of Lily. His beloved Lily.
Sirius slowly walked into the room and knelt beside her. He gently closed her eyes and kissed her
soft lips. She was cold already. "Goodbye, love," he whispered softly. He didn't know
if her spirit was still near enough to hear him. He wasn't sure if he even believed in any of
that himself. But he had to tell her goodbye. They had been so close to being...if only there was
no James, they might have stood a chance......
A small cough stirred Sirius from his painful thoughts. He turned away from Lilly and looked in
mild surprise at the figure standing in the doorway.
Hagrid had arrived.

-------------FLASHBACK - 7th Year------------
Sirius, Remus, and Peter sat in the stands watching Gryffindor *squash* Slytherin in their
latest Quidditch match. After a while, Remus noticed his friend's attention definitely
wasn't on watching James. He followed Sirius' gaze down to the front of the stands. In the
middle of a group of giggling girls was a very familiar head of red hair...

"Padfoot."
Nothing.
"Padfoot!" A bit louder.
Still no response.
Remus grinned at Peter, who caught the drift instantly. They each leaned over and screamed at the
top of their lungs:

"SIRIUS!" "AURGH!" Sirius attracted the attention of their entire section by
shrieking like a girl and falling backwards off the bench. Remus and Peter howled with laughter at
Sirius red face.
"And *what*," he sputtered as he stood up," was the point of *that?*
"
"Just making sure your head is in the game and not thinking up some new form of torture for
Evans. You really should be nicer to her." Remus could hardly stop laughing long enough to
give his answer.
" Just attempting to figure out what Prongs sees in her that's all."
"Make an effort will you? It's important to James." Remus wasn't laughing
now.
"THEY AREN'T EVEN DATING! She can't stand either one of us! She'll never look at
him, so why does he waist his time on that little-"
"Oi! Calm down, Padfoot, you're making a scene!"
Sirius sat down with a huff, trying to control his temper. "She's an annoying
little-"
"Drop it, will you?" Peter didn't like arguments; he was anxiously biting his
fingernails and watching them. "Or a teacher might come over."
"Is that the worst that can happen, d'you think,” Sirius asked scornfully. "Lighten
up, Wormtail."
"She's not so bad," Remus said quietly.
"Yes, she is!" Sirius was adamant. "She definitely is" *So why do I see her
face in my mind every night?*

---------------------------

Lily sat with her friends and tried to ignore the scene behind her. She couldn't understand
what was being said, but she had a nagging feeling it was the infamous Marauders once again.
*Probably Black doing his look-at-me-I'm-just-so-special routine he and Potter are famous
for. Why don't they just GROW UP?!* Yet for some reason, she couldn't take her eyes off
of James Potter. He looked so handsome on his broomstick, so confident. *NO!* she thought to
herself. *I will not waist any more brain power on him or I'll have a mental blackout!
What's wrong with me?*
Lily couldn't understand why seeing his charming, lopsided grin or thinking about his hazel
eyes sent chills up and down her spine. The same reaction she got when she heard that familiar, yet
annoying bark-like laugh, like right now...
She chanced a glance behind her. Sirius and Peter were laughing at something Remus had apparently
said. *What is wrong with me?*
She rubbed the gooseflesh on her arms, hoping no one would notice.

------HALLOWEEN, 1981, GODRIC'S HOLLOW--------

"Give Harry to me, Hagrid. I'll take him."
"Sorry, Sirius, I've orders straight from Dumbledore himself. He's ter go ter his aunt
'n uncle's house."
"But I'm Harry's godfather, Hagrid!" Sirius couldn't understand why
Dumbledore was doing this. Lily and Petunia hadn't spoken in years; there was no relationship
there at all. Surely Dumbledore knew this? "This is what Lily and James wanted if something
happened. Harry is supposed to go with me. Why on earth would Dumbledore...oh god...."
It had come to him in a flash. They hadn't told Dumbledore about the switch. They hadn't
told *anyone* about the switch. And now Dumbledore thought..........and with the stinking rat
vanished to heaven-knows-where......
It was almost too much for Sirius to take in . . . James, Lily, now Harry was being taken from him.
His last link to the two people who meant everything to him. Hagrid put a clumsy hand on
Sirius' shoulder.
"It'll be a `right mate. Dumbledore knows what he's doin'. An' James an'
Lily..." Hagrid found it very hard to continue and made a point of looking at the floor.
" I understand, Hagrid," Sirius said in a hollow sort of voice. He understood all too
well. "Take the motorbike."
"What?" Hagrid looked up in surprise. There was no possession greater to Sirius than his
motorbike, and everyone knew it.
"Take it to get Harry to his aunt's safely. I won't be needing it anymore." With
that, Sirius took one last look at his now quiet and exhausted godson, and walked out of the house.
His mind knew only one thing: **find Wormtail.** He, nor Hagrid, ever saw the shadow glide out
of the upstairs window and disappear with a wisp into thin air.



2. Chapter 2
------------



-----------------HOGWARTS, 7TH YEAR-----------
"Please?"
"No."
" Pretty please?"
"No way!"
"Please please please?" He took Lily's hand and stared at her with big puppy dog
eyes. " I'll be extra sweet and -"
"James Potter, stop begging." Lily tried her hardest to sound annoyed but she could tell
by the gleam in his eyes she hadn't pulled it off. He was just so.......*funny and charming
and really really adorable!* Lily finally melted.
"All right, all right, I'll go," she said while trying to hide her smile. James just
stared at her, completely stunned. There was complete silence for a moment or two, then...
"I'm sorry. I seem to be experiencing a brain fart, or possibly a temporary hearing loss.
It could just be a really vivid hallucination, but say that again please? In my good ear this
time." James was certain he had imagined her response.
" I said I'll go to Hogsmede with you tomorrow. But only to save yourself from public
humiliation. This begging in the Great Hall deal you've been doing is killing your cool
reputation," Lily grinned. She just couldn't help herself.
"Ok, cool," James said. Lily could tell he was trying to appear nonchalant about the
whole thing, like it was no big thing. It didn't work. With a whoop of joy, James suddenly
grabbed Lily around the waist and began waltzing around the Great Hall with her, singing all the
while: "I've got a date with Lily! Ladeedadeeda..." Laughing, Lily let herself be
pulled along, even though she knew all the eyes in the Great Hall were staring. Well,
almost.....

**********


A dark pair of eyes glared stonily at the dancing couple. Jealous eyes; eyes that longed to hurt.
*Potter doesn't deserve Li--Evans* he thought. Not that he would ever admit to wanting
Lily, mind you. She...wasn't his kind. But he still longed to make James pay for everything,
and he would. Nobody could stop him, not Potter, or Lupin, or anyone. They had walked over him for
too long. He knew an opportunity when he saw one. He just wasn't sure how to get at them. His
beetle black eyes scanned the Great Hall, searching. They settled on a group of people across the
hall, laughing at the antics of James and Lily. Everyone except one. *Of course* he thought,
*the rat....* It was perfect. Ruining them this way would be the ultimate revenge. Ruining
EVANS would be the ultimate revenge...

*********

Sirius strolled into the Gryffindor common room that night and looked around for his fellow
Marauders. He didn't see them, but he did see an opportunity he just couldn't pass up. So,
he walked over to the couch and plopped down right next to Lily Evans. She kept her nose in her
book, determined not to give him any attention.
 "So, Evans, how was the dance," he asked.
 "Shut up," Lily shot back. She tried to hide the fact that she was blushing, but Sirius
had already noticed.
 "Awww, c'mon, you can tell your dear friend Sirius," he grinned. "So, do you
love him?"
 "What?!?!?" She looked up in surprise.
 "Oh, please. 7 years my buddy's been after you for a date. So, what made you finally
crack? The public wants to know, Evans! Out with it!"
 Lily looked at him for a long moment, and then grinned. "Jealous?"
 "Huh?" Sirius was confused. *How could she possibly know - wait, I am NOT jealous!*
He thought furiously.
 Lily closed her book and put her hand on Sirius' knee. Very seriously she said, "Now, I
know you love James, and you wanted things to work out between you, but some things just aren't
meant to be! You're just going to have to accept the fact that James has someone prettier than
you. It may take some getting used to but in time--"
 Her words were cut off as Sirius whacked her playfully with a couch cushion.
 "You're a total nerd, Evans, you know that?"
 "Oh c'mon Sirius, is that the best you can come up with?"
 " You're just asking for trouble Evans! Be careful!"
 "Or what? You'll hit me with another cushion? Oh, I'm so afraid...”
 They were both laughing hysterically now. It was an interesting sight, Black and Evans having a
laugh together. *Moony's right,* Sirius thought. *She isn't so bad....* 
 "Hey, don't mess with me girl. I have a couch cushion and I'm not afraid to use
it!" Sirius waved the cushion threateningly at Lily, who doubled over and clutched her sides
from laughing. Sirius laughed harder too, which made Lily laugh even *more* . The two of them
fell off the couch laughing at each other.
 "Why do I feel like I'm in second grade?" Lily asked.
 "I dunno. Why are you acting like you're in second grade," Sirius shot back.
 "Bite me," Lily retorted. Before he could think about what he was doing, Sirius leaned
in and did exactly that, right on her neck.
 Lily stopped laughing and looked at Sirius in shock. Sirius felt himself turning red and looked at
the floor. *Why, why, WHY did I just do that? OK, Black, just think of something clever to say,
quick...* "Ummmm....."
 Unfortunately, he made the mistake of looking up while he ummmed, and looked right into Lily's
green eyes. Losing his train of thought, he let his voice trail off while he looked at Lily. 
 "Hey, Black, anyone home in there," she asked him softly. Sirius didn't answer her.
He just kept looking into her perfect green eyes. His body was reacting to her even though his mind
knew James would kill him for this. *Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it....*

 His body ignored his mind. Sirius leaned toward Lily. Their faces were inches apart. He leaned
even closer and closed his eyes.....



3. First Kisses
---------------



Thank you for all the marvelous replies!

*Chapter 3 : First Kisses*

Sirius leaned toward Lily. There faces were inches apart. He leaned even closer and closed his
eyes. Their lips touched, soft at first. When Lily didn't pull away, Sirius kissed her again.
*She has the softest lips*, he thought.
 Suddenly, Lily pulled back. Surprised, Sirius opened his eyes and stared at her.
"What?"
 "That's what I was thinking. What? As in 'what the heck are you doing?!"'
Lily stared back at Sirius, waiting for his answer. To his relief, she didn't sound angry, just
surprised, although she was doing her best to intimidate him with her stare. *What was I
thinking?! She just made a date with my best friend! So just look away and think up something
clever -oh crap. I just went through this and look what happened. Aaarrrrggg.....* 
 ***WHAM*** The portal door burst open and James, Remus, and Peter fell into the Gryffindor
common room laughing hysterically.
 "Hey, guys, what's going on?" Sirius called to his friends. With a quick glance over
his shoulder, he saw Lily retake her place on the sofa and knew that their conversation was on
hold...for now.
 "Oh...my...God... you *totally* missed it," James cried. Sirius walked over and
grabbed James' arm to help him stand. James clung to Sirius and bent over, wiping tears of
laughter from his face.
 "Missed what," Sirius asked.
 "Snivelly!" Peter cried. "It was great, they-"
 "SHHHH!!" James said. He got control of himself and looked pointedly at the couch. The
Marauders looked over to where Lily was sitting. She'd been joined by her friend Sara and the
two were talking in hushed tones.
 "I kind of promised Lily I'd leave old Snivellus alone. She thinks it's me showing
off when I pick on him," James grinned. "But he started it! I was defending
myself......really!" he insisted when the others laughed at him.
 "Yeah, right Prongs," Remus said slyly. "Complete self defense when a guy's
back is turned."
 "He was facing sideways! That's not completely turned!" James said.
 Sirius gave a snort of laughter at that. Grinning guiltily, James turned to his best friend.
"Yeah, ok, I know, I know... but he called Lily a mudblood," James turned serious and the
smile left his face. "Snape's lucky I didn't kill him where he stood."
 Insides burning, the Marauders turned to look at Lily and Sara. Sirius couldn't take his eyes
off Lily. He watched the light from the fire glow in her hair. He saw her eyes light up with
laughter and went weak at the knees when she smiled. Sirius was startled out of his reverie when
James spoke to him, quietly, so the others couldn't hear.
 "I just don't want anything bad to touch Lily ever again. I'm going to make sure my
Lily has the perfect day tomorrow," James said softly.
 "It's just one date, Prongs," Sirius replied. His insides were squirming with guilt
at the thought of what had happened right before James came in. 
 "Maybe. But....." James trailed off and a dull flush rose on his cheeks.
 "What? Spit it out, Prongs!"
 "Padfoot, I think I'm in love with her."
 Stunned, Sirius turned to look at his best friend. James was staring at Lily, a happy dream-like
expression on his face. "Wild, isn't it?"
 For once in his life, Sirius had nothing to say.


 **********

Her mind reeling, Lily jumped back onto the sofa as James, Remus, and Peter made their grand
entrance into the Gryffindor common room. She searched for her book, but it had gotten lost during
the pillow fight with Sirius. *OK, first he bites me on the neck, then he KISSES me! Did I miss
something here?* 
 Lily was suddenly brought back to earth by the arrival of her best friend. Sara Brown had been
Lily's best friend since they met in Charms their first year. Sara's long brown hair had
been colored with funky red & blonde streaks, she played Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch
team, and was almost as much of a mischief maker as the infamous Marauders.
 "OK, is he not just the cutest thing you've ever seen?" Sara sighed. Lily didn't
even have to ask: Sara had been head over heels for Sirius for years.
 "If you go for that sort of thing. I've seen cuter," Lily replied vaguely.
 "So I've noticed! Along with the rest of the school," Sara snickered. "About
time you admitted you have a thing for Potter. I thought you'd never come around!"
 "Oh my god," Lily muttered,” it's really more like a pity date. Let it go already,
will you?"
 Sara knew better. "Really? Really, Lily?" her voice disbelieving.
 Lily felt her cheeks burning. "OK, *maybe* he's grown up a bit. So, he's not
playing with the Snitch in the hallways anymore, and he's definitely not the show off he used
to be......and his hair really does look good all rumpled up like that.........."
 Sara leaned in to hear more. "And? AND?!"
 "And...." Lily smiled,"......he really is good looking....especially when he's
flying....or smiling...or walking...or sitting down......"
 "HA! I knew it! You *are* smitten!" Sara crowed in triumph.
 "Shhh! They'll hear you! And I am *not* smitten! I'm just saying--"
 "Oh please Lily. I know better. Here I'm gonna ask you a question and the first thing
that comes into your mind, say it. OK? Now - what color are James' eyes?"
 "Hazel." Lily had them memorized, but she'd never admit it.
 "Any dimples to go with that smile?"
 "Yeah, on his left cheek." 
 "Who'll be best man at your wedding?"
 "Knowing my luck, Sirius, Remus, AND Peter!"
 "And the names of your future children?" Sara was laughing now.
 "Rowan for a girl, Harry if it's a boy."
 "HA! HA! You're already naming the children and you haven't even gone on your first
date! See, you *are* smitten."
 Lily's face blended perfectly with her bright red hair. "Am not!"
 "Are too!"
 "I am not, Sara!"
 "Lily, you are *soooooo* the smitten kitten!"
 "Am no-.... I'm a lost cause aren't I?" Lily surrendered sheepishly. She and
Sara looked over to where the four boys stood in the middle of the room. Lily prayed no one had
heard her and Sara talking. She'd already been waltzed around the Great Hall and kissed by her
date's best friend----*no, don't think about that* she told herself firmly.
 "He was facing sideways! That's not completely turned!" James suddenly burst out.
The other three boys laughed hysterically, but Lily and Sara just exchanged confused looks.
 "OK," Sara said, "James may not be a show off anymore, but he's still really
weird."
 "This to the girl who was literally dancing with him in the middle of dinner! Hey, we all
have our flaws," Lily laughed.
 "Shut up! You love it." Sara had her eyes on Sirius again. Lily followed her friends
gaze. *He really is cute, especially when he laughs,* she thought. *Wait ---- this is Sirius
Black we're thinking about here. My personal tormentor for 7 years! OK, James was my tormentor
too, but while Sirius was kind of mean, James was...well ok Lil, admit it, James was kind of cute.
So then why in the name of MERLIN did Sirius kiss me?!?!?!* 
 "Oh, Lil? Lily? Dear little Lilypoo?" Sara was waving her hands in front of Lily's
face. Lily hoped she hadn't been staring too long. Lucky for her, Sara could be a bit oblivious
sometimes. "James already has you mesmerized. That didn't take too long, now, did it?
Well, I shouldn't be surprised...." Sara let her voice trail off. She had a huge grin on
her face.
 "What?" Lily was suddenly suspicious. Sara's grin was usually an omen; she was quite
the prankster and Lily sometimes ended up as the trial dummy. 
 "Oh, I just never thought you'd be the kind of girl to snog a guy *before* the first
date! That's usually me." Sara's wicked grin widened at Lily's look.
 "I'm not!" Lily protested. "What on earth makes you think that?!"
 "The hickey on your neck."
 "WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!" Lily jumped up in indignation. "Sara, are you sniffing
doxy droppings or something? Because you've obviously lost your mind!"
 "Right here, Lil'." Sara reached out and touched Lily's neck where the small
purple mark had appeared. Lily put her hand over Sara's fingers..... Right where Sirius had
bitten her on the neck. *Oh...... my..... God.... I'll KILL him!!!!!!!!!!!!!* 
 Thinking frantically, Lily stuttered," Uh--uh---ok! I'm tired now. See? YAWN! All right
then, g'night!" And without another word, Lily ran up the stairs to her dormitory, leaving
a very amused Sara in the common room.
 *Ohmigod, THINK Evans! Think! You can' tell Sara because Sara will kill you. You can't
tell James because it'll break his heart. What to do now? Oh, I can't believe he bit me
hard enough to leave a mark. He's a dead man when I see him again.* Lily tossed and turned
in her bed all night.

************

They were standing very close together in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room. He
couldn't take his eyes off her face. Sirius reached out and brushed Lily's gorgeous red
hair out of her eyes, then leaned in and kissed her. She kissed him back, softly at first, then
with more and more passion. He folded Lily into his arms and she put her arms around his neck,
running her fingers through his hair. 
 Still kissing, he led Lily away from the fire, and they sank onto the sofa together. Sirius gently
pulled on her lower lip, then trailed kisses down her neck. He reveled in the taste of her soft
skin. He slid his hands down her back and gently lifted her shirt enough to feel her bare skin. His
entire body tingled as she moaned and softly whispered his name in his ear. Sirius leaned back as
Lily nibbled gently on his ear. Her tender fingers were slowly unbuttoning his shirt as she left a
trail of kisses down the center of his body-

 Sirius awoke with a start, his entire body drenched in sweat. "What the hell?" he
muttered.



4. Confrontations, Part One
---------------------------



**A/N: I love all the replies so far! Thanks for all the positive feedback everyone, I really
do appreciate it.** **I know the beginning starts a bit slow, but things pick up very quickly
soon. Trust me. ;)**

Chapter Four: Confrontations, Part One

Sirius' head was spinning. Three days ago he hadn't even liked Lily and now he was
dreaming about her! Not only that but she was constantly in his head during the waking hours as
well. 
 Sirius pulled himself out of bed and threw on the first robes he found. As it happened, they were
the same ones he'd worn yesterday. He silently crept from his dorm and left Gryffindor Tower.

 "OK, I'm just going to go for a walk," he said to himself. "Yeah, a walk will
clear my head. That's what I need. Just gonna mosey down to the lake and-"
 "First sign of madness is talking to yourself."
 Sirius spun around to face the intruder behind him. He whipped out his wand and pointed it right
into the face of-----

---"MOONY!" Sirius shouted. "Dang, man, I thought you were still sleeping. You
scared the daylights out of me!"
 Remus doubled over laughing. "I know! Isn't it great?!"
 "No it really- ok kinda great," Sirius relented.
 "So, why are you up at the crack of dawn," Remus asked.
 "No reason. Why are *you* up?"
 "Getting the shack ready. Full moon tonight, remember?" Remus asked.
 Sirius hadn't remembered at all. He felt even guiltier than he did before.
 "Sorry, Moony old chum. Had a lot on my mind of late."
 "Yeah, I figured," Remus said slyly. "So, do we get to meet her soon or
what?"
 "There is no 'her' doofus. It's other stuff." Sirius didn't quite meet
Remus' eye as he said this.
 "Whatever," Remus shrugged. “It just seems like the entire world is hooking up. James
and Lily, you and the Invisible Woman, if Peter gets a girl before me I'll be so
pissed."
 Sirius had to laugh. When he wasn't shoving his nose in a book Moony had a very wry sense of
humor. He was just about to tell him so when a flash of red light hit Remus in the chest and sent
him flying into the wall. He slumped to the floor unconscious as Sirius once again whirled around
and pulled out his wand. He stared into the cold, glittering dark eyes of his least favorite person
accompanied by 5 others from his house.
 "Alone at last."

---GODRIC'S HOLLOW, NOV. 1----
 Sirius had checked Peter's hiding spot, but he still wasn't there. He'd checked all
their old haunts on the off chance of finding the stinking rat, but no luck. Now, he was just
walking thru London, aimlessly yet with determination. His dark eyes scanned the area in front of
him, constantly on the alert for Wormtail, all the while unconsciously fingering his wand in his
pocket. In his mind, he ran through a thousand different scenarios of what would happen when he
finally caught up with Peter. They all involved him, Peter, begging for mercy before dying in
horrible pain.
 Sirius was not a cruel man under normal circumstances, but the last 24 hours had proved to be
anything but normal: James and Lily dead, Peter vanished, Harry taken away to his miserable
aunt's house.... Sirius knew his time was quickly running out. He had argued with Lily and
James not to tell anyone about switching Peter for himself as their secret keeper, thinking it was
the best course of action, and now it had proved to be their undoing. The only reason Dumbledore
took Harry away was to keep him safe from his parent's murderer and betrayer - Sirius, they
thought. And to think, he himself had secretly accused Remus - 
 Remus. Oh God, how he wished Remus were with him. Remus would have been an enormous comfort. But
Remus was cut off, had been for months, and all because he had listened to Peter. Peter's
whisperings that Remus was hiding something, that he may not be loyal anymore, that he may have
turned---and Peter had only whispered to Sirius. The burden of all this fell onto Sirius but he was
more than willing to share... He wouldn't kill Peter until after he'd confessed to
Dumbledore, but oh when the time came he would enjoy killing the slime. Wormtail would curse the
day he'd called himself their friend.
 His eyes focused on a person standing a few yards ahead of him. *How utterly convenient,* he
thought. *And just when I was beginning to lose focus...* A surge of hatred and revulsion rose
in him. Eyes narrowed, he pulled out his wand and pointed it. Suddenly, the man in front of him
turned to face him. The man raised his wand in his quivering hand and he pointed it at Sirius. His
small, watery eyes gazed at Sirius with emotions Sirius didn't know or care to figure out, the
at Sirius' wand, which was much steadier than his own. Sirius wanted to rail and scream and
vomit and cry all at once. Instead, in a calm, quiet voice that belied the agony inside him, he
spoke to his old friend and greatest enemy.
 "Hello, Wormtail."



5. Confrontations, Part Two
---------------------------



*Chapter Five:* *Confrontations, Part Two*

"Alone at last." Six wands were pointing straight at Sirius' face and the speaker
was none other than Severus Snape, Sirius' least favorite person outside his family. Standing
beside Snape was Lucius Malfoy, Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange, Calista Serene, and Sirius'
cousin, Bellatrix Black.
 "Awww, Snivelly, I knew you liked me but if you wanted to be alone, you should've just
asked me, snookums!" Sirius smirked at Snape, whose face began to burn with anger. That was
just fine. Sirius Black never backed down from a good fight.
 "Werewolves and blood-traitors and Mudbloods," Bellatrix sneered. "You're a
disgrace to the house of Black with these freaks you hang around with!"
 "Good," Sirius said seriously. "I'd rather be a freak than a bitch like
you."
 Bellatrix hissed as though she'd been slapped. Rodolphus and Rabastan stepped forward, but
were held back by Lucius.
 "Wait for it," he said in his cold drawling voice. "We don't want to attract
too much unwanted attention, do we?" his eyes scanned the hall, looking, Sirius knew, for
teachers or other students.
 "Too chicken to take me in front of other people?" Sirius asked. "Or are you only
good when you have backup to face one person?"
 "Big talk," Snape snarled. "Let's see if your wand is a quick as your
mouth." And with that, Snape shot a blast of blue light at Sirius. Sirius dove to his right at
shot several purple jets of light at once, hitting Snape, Malfoy, and Rabastan Lestrange. Bella
jumped forward and shot a Stinging Hex that caught Sirius in his arm. He was forced back a few
steps by the impact of the spell, but was still able to hit his cousin with a Full Body Bind spell.
Bella froze light a statue and crashed to the floor. With a roar of fury, Rodolphus leapt over her
and sent a stunner straight into Sirius' chest, sending him sprawling against the wall. Sirius
slumped to the floor next to Moony, and despite his best efforts, fell into unconsciousness.

 ********************

 Lily turned this way and that in front of the full length mirror in her dormitory. Today was her
date with James and she wanted to look good for the occasion, but not like she had spent hours in
front of the mirror (which she had). She had on her favorite boots, a pair of dark blue jeans and
an emerald green turtleneck sweater that matched her eyes. And covered up Sirius' accidental
hickey quite nicely. Finally satisfied with her appearance, Lily walked down the stairs and into
the common room.
 "Lily!" James shouted across the room. Lily smiled as he sprinted towards her.
 "Hi", she said when he reached her. Before she could say anything else, James spoke in a
harried tone of voice.
 "Listen, something's come up. No one knows the details but Remus and Sirius are in the
hospital wing unconscious."
 "Oh my God," Lily said horrified. She put her hand on James' arm. She felt warmth
where her skin met James. Trying to ignore it, she concentrated on his face and asked, "What
can I do?"
 "Nothing," he replied. "I'm going to stay with them until they wake up. So... I
have to cancel our date. I'm sorry, Lily." He finished speaking in a quiet voice and
looked away from her, but she knew he was firm in his decision. His friends came first.
 Lily's heart practically melted. She put her hand under his chin and lifted his face until he
met her eyes. "James, we can have our date anytime. What's important now is to make sure
our friends are all right. So, if you're going to sit with them, then that's where I'll
be too."
 James stared at her for a long moment, the leaned in and kissed her gently. It was wonderful, soft
and sweet. Lily sighed against his mouth and returned his kiss with more pressure. She felt
James' arms circle her waist and pull her against him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and
opened her mouth slightly, inviting him in. His tongue massaged hers in a lazy rhythm, and then
pulled away as he sucked gently on her lower lip.
 It was Sara's whoops and hollers of joy that pulled them apart. Lily rested her forehead
against James' and looked happily into his eyes for a moment. Suddenly, they remembered where
they were and what was happening with Remus and Sirius. Without a word, James took her hand and led
her from the common room, leaving Sara alone to do the happy spaz dance around the common room.
Sara did love being right!



6. Autumn, Spike, and Remus
---------------------------



**Chapter 6: Autumn, Spike, and Peter**

They were about halfway to the hospital wing when they ran into two of their fellow Gryffindor,
Autumn and her twin brother Spike. 
 "Hey you two, where've you been?" Autumn asked. "It's crazy, did you hear
about Remus and-"
 "Yeah we heard," James said shortly. "We're on our way to the hospital wing
now. Can you do me a humongous favor and find Peter for me? He should be there too."
 "No worries," Autumn said. "We can find anyone."
 "Hey, you two are the best source of news around here," Lily said. "You hear
everything before anyone else."
 Spike grinned. "What can I say? It's a gift." He winked at his sister, who grinned
back.
 "Well, any clues as to what happened to them?" Lily asked.
 The twins exchanged glances before answering. "Well,'' Autumn said slowly,
"nobody is entirely sure. We know they were Stunned-"
 "We overheard Madam Pomfrey talking to Dumbledore" Spike cut in.
 "- and I have a pretty good guess as to who did it."
 "Yeah, since your buddies aren't the only ones in the hospital wing," Spike grinned.
"Seems they knocked out a couple of their assailants before they went down. Wished I
hadn't missed the fun."
 "Slytherins?" James asked.
 "Need you ask? C'mon man you're supposed to be smart!"
 James glared at Spike, and then shrugged it off. "Who says you missed *all* the fun?
We're going to go stay with them, so I can't do anything right now. If you should just
*happen* to come across the people responsible for this..."
 Spike's normally blue eyes turned green with the promise of a good challenge. "Say no
more, my man. We got you on this." he looked to his sister, who was smiling a very mischievous
grin.
 "Five galleons say we find them before lunch," Autumn challenged.
 "You're on." The twins whipped their wands out, nodded to James and Lily, and went
to find Peter and wreak mayhem on a couple Slytherins.
 "Are you sure that was a good idea?" Lily asked James as they resumed their quick pace
to the hospital wing.
 "Trust me," James said. "If I can trust anyone to handle this, it's those two.
They know as much about this castle as I do. And you don't duel with Spike and Autumn unless
you fancy a month in St. Mungos. They're practically guaranteed to be Aurors after
school!"
 "I want to be an Auror too!" said a squeaky voice behind them. Lily and James whirled
around and came face to face with Peter Pettigrew.
 "Peter! Did the twins find you already?" Lily asked.
 "No. Were they supposed to?" Peter looked fearfully at James, wringing his hands, as
though he was supposed to be found somewhere and now had to deal with the wrath of James. Lily felt
a sure of impatience run through her. Peter always seemed as though he was on the verge of tears or
a nervous breakdown.
 "Never mind," James cut in. He was just as impatient as Lily. "Did you hear about
Moony and Padfoot?" Lily looked to James questioningly, having never heard their nicknames
before, but James shook his head at her. *Not now,* the look in his eyes said.
 "Yeah I did,'' Peter squeaked. 
 "Well, c'mon, Lil' and I are sitting with them until they wake up." James
said.
 "But it's almost time to eat..." Peter trailed off at the look in James'
eyes.
 "Mother of god, Wormtail, two of your best friends are in the hospital wing!!" James
roared. "They'd be there in a flash if it were you, why can't you do the same for
them? Do you care about anything at all except yourself?"

 -----LONDON, NOV. 1--------

 "Lily and James! Lily and James, Sirius, how could you?!" Peter screamed for the whole
street to hear. Tears streaming down his pudgy little face, his wand was held in his shaking hand
and he aimed it at the furious face of Sirius Black.
 "I never realized what a spectacular actor you are, Wormtail," Sirius said. His voice
was soft, dangerous. "But then you must be. How long have you been pulling this
off?"
 ''MURDERER!!" Peter shrieked. The crowd of onlookers whispered something about
fetching the police, but Sirius didn't care.
 "I AM NO SUCH THING!" Sirius shouted. He advanced few steps on Peter, who shrank back
from the towering figure. "What did he offer you," Sirius hissed quickly,
''power? Fame? All the usual things he's offered a hundred others? What do they have,
Peter? Death sentences. A future of Azkaban. Nothing. This is why you betrayed
everyone?"
 "No" Peter whispered. He was wringing his hands in his usual fashion. Sirius saw
something silver glint from between Peter's hands but wasted no thought on it.
 "What then? I want to know the reason before I ruin your life."
 "Your life is ruined Sirius," Peter uttered suddenly. "Mine is starting over again
and I'll still get almost everything I was promised."
 "Almost?" Sirius was curious in spite of himself. "What was the one thing you were
promised that you won't get?"
 Peter sucked in his breath in a harsh gasp and clutched his hands tightly. Blood began to seep
from between his fingers. He raised his eyes to Sirius and grinned the most un-Peter like grin
Sirius had ever seen. Wormtail's face was full of hatred and malice, not a shred of regret or
anything resembling the old Peter Pettigrew he'd spent half his life being friends with.
 "You really want to know," Wormtail whispered cruelly. Wormtail stood on his feet, held
his wand in his left hand. His right hand was leaving drops of blood on the street. Wormtail tossed
what he was holding in his hand to Sirius, who caught it against his chest and looked at it. 
 Peter's finger.
 Bile rose in Sirius' throat. With a cry of revulsion, he tossed Wormtail's severed finger
from him and looked with horror into the cold eyes of his former friend.
 Wormtail smiled grimly as he smiled at Sirius, who still had his wand aimed at his face.
 "Peter," Sirius whispered.
 "Peter is dead," Wormtail muttered. He slowly lowered his own wand until it was pointing
at the street right in front of him. "And that thing I wanted?"
 Sirius unconsciously stepped forward, for Wormtail was speaking so quietly now he could hardly be
heard.
 Wormtail looked straight into Sirius' eyes and said the last thing he would say to Sirius for
(unknown to them both) thirteen years.
 "It was Lily."
 And with that, the whole street exploded.



7. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
--------------------------------



A/N: I suck at chapter names. Just go with it!

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! Michie, as the story is already finished and the sequel is
in progress, it's a little late for me to add you in, but I'm sure I can find room for you
somewhere else! ;)

**Chapter 7:** **Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds**

Sirius and Remus were both still out of it. Lily, James and Peter sat in chairs between the two
beds. Peter shuffled his feet and shifted in his seat so many times Lily wanted to scream. James
was staring at his knees, resting his forehead in one hand. The other was holding onto Lily's
hand as though it was his lifeline. The three of them sat silently, occasionally looking at each
other but mostly staring at either the two boys or the floor. 
 Lily could feel the tension in James' hand. She knew he wanted to be out with the twins
reeking (sp?) havoc on the people responsible, but she also knew he knew his place was here with
his best friends. This thought in her mind, she turned and glared at the far end of the hospital
wing. Bellatrix was in one of the far beds with Rodolphus and Calista Serene standing guard. 
 Lily turned away. It was better to ignore them than think about them. Peter shifted noisily in his
chair for the six thousandth time and she cracked.
 "Heavens about, Peter, either sit still or go eat already! Apparently it's more important
to you than staying here!"
 Peter seemed to shrink into his chair and looked at the floor. "Sorry, Lily" he
muttered. Lily sighed and leaned back in her chair. She glanced at James and saw the tiniest smile
on his face. She smiled too and turned away to look at Sirius.
 Sirius' face was very pale, there was a large burn on his arm where the Stinging Hex had
struck him, and both boys had large cuts on their head from when they had hit the floor.
 Suddenly, James squeezed her hand. "I'm so glad you're here," he whispered. Lily
smiled at him and gently kissed his cheek. James smiled once more then went back to staring at his
knees.
 Lily's stomach was squirming. All afternoon she had thought about telling James that Sirius
had kissed her the other night. She really liked Sirius, but she really liked James too. She
wasn't sure what she was going to do about this. The only thing she knew was she had to be
honest with them both. Yet, as she watched James' concern for Sirius, she recognized their
bond. The two were brothers in every way except blood itself. Lily saw this, and she knew she could
never tell James.

*********

Hours had passed, and now bright moonlight was pouring through the windows of the hospital wing,
illuminating the beds on which Sirius and Remus still lay. Lily and James still sat in their chairs
between the two beds; Peter had long since abandoned them to fulfill the needs of his stomach.
Bellatrix had been released and she and her fellow Slytherins had long since departed the hospital,
throwing contemptuous glares at the Gryffindors on their way out. Lily sworn she had seen that
malnourished-looking freak, Calista Serene, give Remus an almost longing glance on her way out, but
Lily thought she must have imagined it. Now it was just the four of them.
 James was slumped in his chair, hand still linked with Lily's, fast asleep. Lily lay curled up
in her chair, gazing at Sirius' sleeping form. She sighed quietly to herself. *Even asleep,
they're both gorgeous,* she thought. She thought of two kisses, one that had spread warmth
through her entire body, leaving her with a sense of complete happiness. The other had been like a
spark of electricity jolting throughout her, awakening a yearning and a passion she hadn't
known existed. She wanted them both and her heart ached with the thought of the choice she knew she
soon would have to make.
 "Must be heavy thoughts." The quietly spoken words jarred Lily from her confused
thoughts. She looked up and a huge smile spread across her face.
 "How're you feeling Remus?" she asked, whispering so as not to wake the
others.
 "Well, as long as I don't play Quidditch for a while, I think I'll be ok." Lily
smiled at the little joke. Remus didn't play Quidditch.
 "Loser," she grinned.
 "Yeah, I should leave the joke making to the professionals," Remus grinned. He sat up
and grimaced, putting a hand to his head. "OK, now it hurts," he groaned. Lily released
James' hand and moved to help Remus, but he waved her away.
 "S'ok, Lily girl," he muttered. Still looking concerned, Lily slowly sat back in her
chair.
 "Remus, who was it?"
 Remus sighed and rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. "I didn't see them. Whoever it was
hit me from behind. So it was probably Severus and his gang of gutless goonies."
 Lily gave a derisive snort and nodded. "Bella Lestrange was in here earlier, with her
boyfriend Rodolphus and that skinny Calista thing."
 Remus nodded. "Well, that pretty much confirms the mystery. I bet Malfoy and Rabastan were
along for the fun." With a glance at the sleeping James, he whispered, "He didn't do
anything stupid, did he?"
 "No," Lily smiled, "no, he was very good. We've been here all day. However, we
did run into the twins on the way here and, well....." she let her voice trail off.
 "Oh Lord give us strength," Remus mumbled. The twins had quite the reputation. "As
long as they don't commit murder--"
 "Remember last year when Anthony Nott hexed my friend Sara and the twins caught up with
him?" Lily snickered.
 "Yeah, it took the teachers a week to find him, and then another two too get that tail
removed!" Remus and Lily both choked back their laughter.
 Lily grinned. “There should be an extra commandment, 'Thou shalt not-"
 "-screw with Autumn and Spike," Remus finished.
 "That's perfect!" Lily quietly exclaimed.
 "I know," Remus said solemnly. He glanced at Lily and they both laughed again. They
muffled their laughter in their hands, trying to keep the volume down.
 "So," Remus hiccupped as they settled down, "you wanna talk about it?"
 "About what?" she asked him.
 "Well, you were holding James' hand but looking at Sirius with a very interesting look on
your face. 'Course, it could just be my imagination, but..."
 Lily blushed. How long had Remus been awake and watching her? Remus was an extremely good
observer. "There's nothing to talk about," she muttered lamely. *And if he buys
that, I'm Snape's long lost sister.* 
 "They consider each other brothers, Lily." Remus' voice was a whisper of a whisper,
but the words cut straight to Lily's heart.
 "I know," she whispered back.
 "Does James know?" 
 Lily looked at the ground and shook her head. Cold rushed through her, and she brought her knees
to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.
 "This will kill them both, you know." She'd never heard Remus sound so serious about
anything.
 "I know," she whispered again. "Are you going to tell James?"
 "It's not my place to do that, Lily. So it's Sirius then?"
 Lily closed her eyes and put her head on her knees. "That's just it, Remus. I have no
idea. And they both . . . . . . . . . . god, you must think I'm awful."
 She could feel Remus' eyes on her but she didn't dare look up. She knew what his eyes
would tell her, it was just easier to live with her own guilt.
 "Of course not, Lily," Remus said. That was all it took for the tears to begin leaking
out of Lily's eyes. She kept her head down so he wouldn't see.
 "Lily, you just need to figure what you want."
 "Easier said than done," Lily muttered.
 "Yeah, I know." She could almost hear Remus smile and smiled at her knees in return.
"The thing is, Lil', your life will be livable again only after you make a decision. I
can't tell you what that decision is, only you can do that."
 Lily sniffled and raised her head to look at the kind face of Remus Lupin.
 "How do you know all this," she asked. She wiped the traces of tears from her face as
his face turned grim.
 "Prefect intuition," he said. Lily rolled her eyes at him and he smiled in
response.
 James shifted in his sleep, drawing their attention to him. His eyes fluttered, then opened fully
and looked around.
 "Hey," he said softly to Lily. Then, glancing at Remus, he sat up in his chair.
"Hey!" he smiled at his friend. "How ya doin'?" 
 Remus gave a mournful glance at the ground. "Lily was entertaining me until you woke
up," he said reproachfully. "I mean, I was working the whole pity
oh-I'm-hurt-but-I'm-ignoring-my-pain-like-a-man-so-love-me angle and I was this close to
getting her to do a strip tease for me!" Remus held up his fingers to show them just how close
he'd gotten, and then collapsed against the pillows, laughing his head off. Lily swatted at
Remus, but she was laughing too.
 "Dang, and me without my camera," James cracked.
 "James Potter!" Lily cried. Their laughter echoed off the halls. Suddenly, Sirius moaned
and tossed his head.
 "I think he's waking up," James cried. As he rushed to Sirius' side, Lily and
Remus looked at each other. A feeling of understanding shot between the two. She knew the question
his eyes were asking her. Lily gazed back sadly, at a loss for words.

 *******

 Sirius was having the dream again. He knew he was dreaming this time, and he hoped to god he'd
never wake up. This was paradise, feeling Lily's hands on his body. He breathed in the scent of
her hair and tasted her sweet lips. Her skin was incredibly soft. He lay back on the couch in the
Gryffindor common room, Lily sprawled on top of him. Her hands caressed his neck, his clutched at
her long silky hair. She leaned slightly to the right and gently nibbled on his ear, causing Sirius
to close his eyes and moan in satisfaction. She knew exactly what he wanted. 
 "Lily, I think I love you," he whispered in her ear. He kissed her neck. Her soft
laughter sent shivers down his spine. Her laughter mingled with James', and he thought he heard
Remus chuckle. He didn't want them to see him and Lily like this. Sirius struggled to open his
eyes, but his head hurt too much. He finally opened his eyes and blinked repeatedly as the ceiling
of the hospital wing came into focus. *Crap.* 
 "Does it hurt much, mate?" James' voice came at him from the right. Sirius turned
his head and drew his breath in a sharp gasp as the pain stab him again. He closed his eyes and
leaned back against the pillows.
 "No, not at all," he said sarcastically. It's only every time I move, the pain's
so bad I see visions of Lucy in the sky with diamonds floating through strawberry fields on her way
to Penny Lane, that's all."
 The sound of Lily's laughter was music to his ears, and he opened his eyes to find her sitting
next to James. He could see the relief in her face. Sirius' heart constricted at the thought
that she had actually been worried about him. Then he looked at James and the happy feeling went
away as quickly as it had come.
 "So, you're normal then! Excellent." Remus deadpanned from his bed. Sirius tossed
his pillow in Remus' general direction. Laughing, James settled back into his chair and grasped
Lily's hand again. Sirius looked at their linked hands, and then let his gaze wander to their
faces. He watched James brush a lock of Lily's fiery red hair from her face, then watched that
same hand come back down and cup her cheek. The look in their eyes was unmistakable, and Sirius
felt his heart would stop.



8. Thickening Plans, Big Mistakes
---------------------------------

**A/N:** *I am so unbelievably sorry I haven’t updated in so long! I had some things in my
life I needed to take care of, but now that the dust has settled down, I can return to posting my
stories! I’ll be doing quite a few updates today, since the story is finished. I started writing
this story last September and finished it in January, so although we have quite a ways to go here
on Portkey, it is done and I’m in the process of writing a sequel, as well as a new H/Hr, a
Bellatrix/Voldemort horror fic I won’t be able to post here (nuts) and a Wormtail ficlet. Good
times.*

*My ramblings aside, here is chapter 8!*

**Chapter Eight: Thickening Plans, Big Mistakes** *(remember that I suck at naming
things!)*

Sirius walked down the hall from the hospital wing. He'd woken up two days ago and was
finally well enough to go back to Gryffindor Tower. Remus had left the day before. James, and Lily
had been with him almost constantly, and Peter had popped in a few times, but never for very long.
The hospital wing gave him the willies, he'd said.
Every time they'd come in, James and Lily had been holding hands. It was obvious to everyone
they were finally an item. It broke Sirius' heart to see them together. He knew he was supposed
to be happy for his best friend but it just wasn't possible. If it had been anyone but James,
he would be fighting them for Lily's affections, but it *was* James so what could he
do?
He was so lost in his thoughts that he wasn't paying attention to where he was going and ran
into someone. He looked up and was stunned to find that the emerald eyes he'd been thinking of
were now standing right in front of him. They both spoke at once.
"Umm--oh--Lily---I'm-uh."
"Sirius! Oh---I mean--hi--um."
They broke off and smiled rather embarrassed smiles at each other.
"You first,” Sirius offered. Lily's face turned as red as her hair.
"Oh, I was just coming to see how you were feeling." she said quietly.
"Pretty good," he answered.
"Yeah, since you’re . . . you know...”
"Out and about." Sirius finished.
"Yeah." Lily said. There followed an extremely uncomfortable silence that lasted about a
second in reality but a lifetime to Lily and Sirius. After forever, Sirius cleared his throat and
spoke.
"Saw Malfoy in the hospital wing." Malfoy had been there since the day before with
curtains around his bed so no one could see him. Madam Pomfrey had been standing guard to make sure
no one bothered him.
"Can he talk yet?" Lily asked.
"Nope," Sirius grinned. "And his second head looks just like Severus
Snape!"
"WHAT?!" Lily cried laughing. "You're joking!"
"I kid you not." Sirius held up his right hand in oath to his truthfulness. Lily
giggled.
"Autumn told me Spike shoved Snape’s head in a toilet in one of the girl's lavatories, and
he came out covered in scales. He's too embarrassed to even go to the hospital wing." Lily
informed him.
Sirius grinned and nodded his head in approval. *Got to love those twins* he thought to
himself. The thought faded, and Sirius found himself facing another of those long silences. Lily
looked all over the hall as if the bare walls were the most interesting thing on earth. Sirius
found he couldn't stand it.
"So, you and James, huh? That's excellent," he said to the floor. *THAT'S what
you're talking about? Why that?* His mind screamed to him.
*Hey, at least I'm talking* he answered himself. He could feel Lily's eyes on him and
didn't dare look her in the face.
"Sirius--" she started. He cut her off.
"Hey, no worries, right? It's not like I told you I had feelings for you or
anything," he said.
"Do you?" she asked in a quiet voice.
"Does it matter?" he responded bitterly. "You're with James now and that's
that." He turned away and started walking.
"Sirius, wait." Lily followed him and grabbed his hand. He felt the jolt of electricity
Lily had noticed before course through him and he turned to look in her eyes. They gazed at each
other for a long moment, reading the emotions in their eyes, and knew without speaking what one was
feeling for the other.
Without a word, Sirius grasped Lily's hand tight, pulled her towards him, and kissed her the
way he'd dreamed about for so long. He wrapped his arms around her as if he would never let her
go. And just as in his dreams, Lily wrapped *her* arms around *him* and kissed him
back.

It was even more amazing than Sirius could ever have dreamed. It was as if Lily was made for his
arms. Every curve of her body fit perfectly against him. He tasted her soft lips over and over
until he thought he would die from the ecstasy. His fingers clutched handfuls of her hair, caressed
her back, her arms, anywhere he could. He couldn't get enough of Lily. He wanted it to be like
this forever. Repercussions be damned.

*******



Electricity was running thru Lily's body. She knew this was horribly wrong but for the
moment she didn't care. There was nothing in the world but Sirius and this kiss and this moment
she wanted to last forever. She wound her arms around his neck and ran her fingers thru his hair.
It was amazing . . . *he* was amazing. It was as if he knew exactly how she liked to be
kissed, to be touched. Her head was spinning and she clung to Sirius as though her life depended on
it. James Potter had claimed her mind and her soul, but her heart and her passion belonged to
Sirius Black.

*******



He couldn't believe his eyes! There, for the entire world to see (if anyone happened to pass
by) were Sirius Black and Lily Evans, wrapped in an embrace that could have stopped time itself.
James Potter's girl. . . James Potter's best friend . . . it was almost too much. Eyes
narrowed, he slunk back deeper into the shadows and watched.

*******




*No. . . .* her mind suddenly whispered to her. Lily broke away with a gasp and looked at
Sirius with wide eyes. Their arms were still around each other, their lips bruised, hair mussed,
breathing heavy. Looking at her that way made Sirius want her even more, and he read the same
emotion in her eyes. He leaned towards her again.
"Lily," he said huskily. But Lily leaned back away from him.
"I . . . I can’t . . . I just can't," she said shakily. Tears filled her eyes as she
disentangled herself from Sirius' arms and stepped away from him.
"Don't leave," he said. His arms felt empty without her. Sirius reached for her,
desperate to hold her again. She shook her head, the tears now beginning to fall.
"I have to," she whispered. With that, Lily turned and ran down the hall. He watched her
go, her red hair streaming out behind her, until she turned the corner and was gone from his sight.
He watched the corner for a long moment, halfway certain she would reappear at any moment. When
Lily didn't return, he slammed his fist against the wall in frustration.
"Damnit!" Sirius gasped in long slow breaths, trying to regain control of himself. His
entire body was shaking. He leaned forward and pressed his head against the cool stone of the wall.
Turning so he faced outwards, he gazed at the ceiling and slid trembling down the wall to the cold
floor. He closed his eyes in frustration, his mind completely focused on what had just happened. He
didn't see a scaly-faced Severus Snape step out from his hiding place in the shadows and
didn't hear him walk away.

**********************

Severus quickly walked down to the depths of the school, gave the password, and walked into the
Slytherin common room. Bellatrix & Calista were sitting on one of the black leather sofas. He
crossed to them and sat next to Calista.
"Where are the others?" he asked her.
"Standing guard over Malfoy," she answered.
"Making sure those damned twins don't get a hold of him," Bellatrix added. Her head
twitched to the right as she spoke and Severus saw her fingers clench and unclench. He
self-consciously picked at the scales on his face and silently agreed with her. He looked to
Calista and saw her cold eyes boring into his own.
"What?" he asked her.
"You tell me," Calista said in her scratchy voice. Her bone thin hand reached up and
brushed a wisp of her lank hair away from her face. Calista always managed to look severely
malnourished, even though Severus knew she was nothing of the sort. “You came in here looking as
though Christmas had come around for a second whirl."
Severus grinned. Malnourished looking and psychic, that was Calista. He knew many who were more
malicious, but few who were as twisted as she is. "I know exactly how to get them all back for
this. No wands, no magic, no violence . . . from us, anyways. All we have to do is tell the truth
for a change."
Bella looked stunned. "We're supposed to do *what* now?!"
A slow smile spread across Calista's thin face. She looked Severus in the eyes and nodded.
"So tell us the news already," she said. "I was never one for suspense
anyway."
Severus nodded and gestured to the girls to lean in. He spoke in a quiet voice so as not to be
overheard. "You'll never guess who I saw. . ."

****************



An hour or so later, Remus was walking through the halls on a wild Sirius hunt. Sirius, whose
appetite was legend, had not shown up for dinner. This being the first time in 7 years such an
event had occurred, James, Remus, Lily, Peter, Autumn, Spike, and Sara had decided to split up and
look for him.
Remus had noticed Lily's subdued manner all through dinner and though he hadn't had the
chance to talk to her yet, he had a pretty shrewd idea of what was bothering her.
He glanced out one of the tall windows and gazed at the sky. He had been unconscious during the
full moon and no one had seen him transform, thanks to Madam Pomfrey. Only 20 more nights until
full moon. It may seem like a long time to anyone else, but to Remus Lupin those twenty days would
be gone in a flash. They always were. *Merlin give me strength.* Sirius and James might enjoy
full moon as a good romp, but for him they were experiences of pain beyond pain. It was as though
his body was being torn in half, the hair sprouting from every pore felt like a thousand knives
stabbing his body. When his fingers turned into claws it felt like they were being broken over and
over again. Peter had once told him what he looked like right before the transformation: twitching
and jerking as though he was having convulsions.
*Nobody ever said turning into a werewolf was fun*, he thought bitterly.
Remus found himself headed toward the seldom-used South Tower. There was no way Sirius could be
there, no one ever went this way unless they had to. *Couldn't hurt to check, right?* he
figured. Remus shrugged, and then pulled out his wand just in case. He was much more alert after
being attacked, so he thought.
As he passed a statue of Urg the Unclean, a bony hand reached out and grabbed the hem of Remus'
robes. He found himself being pulled into a narrow corridor behind the statue. He yanked his robes
out of the hand's grasp, straightened up and met the eyes of the hand's owner. When Remus
spoke, his voice was very un-Remus like, cold and harsh.
"What do *you* want?"



9. Azkaban Interlude
--------------------

**A/N:** *From now on I will be posting the Azkaban Interludes separately from the regular
chapters. They were originally written as fillers, and most are not very long. For those who are
re-reading this from my posting at different sites, there are several Azkaban scenes and other
moments I did not include that I will hopefully be able to put here.*

-------NOV. 2, AZKABAN PRISON-------

Sirius sat slumped against the wall in the holding cell. He clutched his head in his hands and
tried to shut his mind to everything. Unfortunately, nothing was working. Visions of his life's
worst memories ran thru his head: the day back in his first year when he was sorted into Gryffindor
and his mum sent him a Howler screaming of the shame he had cause the family for not being good
enough to be a Slytherin. The time he stole a bar of Honeyduke's chocolate on a dare and got
caught. When he ran away from home and spent the night sleeping under an interstate turnpike in the
rain. James' face when he heard he'd kissed Lily. Graduation, looking out into the sea of
happy parent's faces and his own not there. James and Lily . . . James and Lily . . . and Remus
. . . and Wormtail. . .Wormtail. Just the thought of his name sent the familiar anger thru
Sirius' shivering body. The horror of the betrayal, and the idiotic reasoning behind it
all!
*As if he thought he could ever be good enough for my Lily* Sirius thought furiously. Never
mind that Lily had married James and borne him a son. In Sirius' mind, she was and would always
be *his* Lily.
His rambling thoughts were interrupted when the door to the holding cell swung open. Sirius looked
up to see Barty Crouch and Alastor Moody (and member of the Order of the Phoenix) enter. Seeing
Moody filled Sirius with a small bit of hope. Moody served in the Order with Sirius. Moody's
presence possibly meant that maybe Dumbledore.
"Peter Pettigrew and 12 Muggles died in that little stunt you pulled yesterday, Black."
Crouch's voice was harsh and held no sympathy.
"I didn't-"
"QUIET!" Crouch roared. "Don't you dare speak to me, Death Eater!" Crouch
practically spat the last to words out of his mouth and glared at Sirius with hatred Sirius
hadn't seen since he lived at home.
"Death Eater," Sirius stammered. "I'm not a Dea-"
"I said be QUIET! Petrificus Totalus!" Sirius was frozen in the Full Body Bind, unable to
move, unable to speak. He could, however, see and hear just fine. Crouch leaned over him to make
sure Sirius caught every word.
"I know what you did to the Potters," he hissed. "And now Pettigrew, plus a dozen
innocent Muggles! What a lasting tribute to the memory of your fallen master you performed.
You'll have ages to remember it. You're not going anywhere, ever. I hope you like your new
home." Crouch straightened and turned towards the door.
"What about his trial Barty?" Moody's hoarse voice came from Sirius left, though he
wasn't in his line of vision.
"You honestly think filth like that deserves a trial?" Crouch sniffed. He swept out of
the cell and the door banged shut behind him. Moody and Sirius were alone.
"I never would have believed it, myself," Moody said. "I honestly thought you loved
James and Lily." There was a long silence and the cell door slowly creaked open again. The
cold swept into the room as though it were alive.
*Oh God, don't leave me here, please don't leave me here, I didn't do anything it was
Wormtail not me oh god somebody please don't leave me here with them to be forgotten please
help me help me. . .* Sirius tried to throw off the curse that bound him, but nothing
worked.
Moody shifted so Sirius could see him. He walked toward the doorway then stopped on the threshold
and looked back over his shoulder at Sirius.
"I hope you rot here," he whispered. Moody was gone, the order of the Phoenix had
abandoned him. Two tall, hooded dementors glided into the room. Sirius would have screamed if they
could. Their clammy, rotted hands reached out for him. They grasped his arms and Sirius felt his
very flesh try to crawl away from where they touched him. He closed his eyes and gave the last
coherent thought he would have for thirteen years.
*Lily. . . . .*



10. Looking for Sirius
----------------------

**Chapter 9: Looking for Sirius**

--- HOGWARTS, 7th YEAR--

"What do *you* want?" Remus spat. Calista's colorless eyes flicked up and down
his body once before answering.
"Look," she began, "I hate your friends."
"You dragged me here just to tell me that?" Remus asked coldly.
"*Let me finish!* However, you aren't so bad . . . for a Gryffindor."
Remus blinked in surprise, but before he could say anything, Calista continued.
"I don't want to see you upset, so listen carefully. If you want things to stay as they
are with your friends, get Black and Evans to come clean to Potter before Severus tells him what he
saw. That's all."
Calista was gone before Remus could ask her anything else. He stared at the spot where she had
been, thinking hard about what she had meant by that. Black and Evans . . . it came to Remus what
must have happened. *Oh God, that's why Lily was upset. . and why Sirius wasn't there . .
. damn!* Remus turned and ran back the way he came. He had to find James before Severus did.

*********

James walked across the grounds toward the Shrieking Shack, thinking Sirius might be in there.
It was very odd Sirius hadn't shown up for dinner. James wasn't panicking yet,
however.
"Hey, James!" Autumn hailed James from the entrance hall doorway and ran to him. She
caught up to James and he gave her a moment to catch her breath.
"So, where's he at?" James asked after Autumn had stopped clutching her ribs.
"No idea," Autumn replied. James cocked an eyebrow at her in surprise.
"Come again?"
"That's what I came to tell you. No one can find him, not Remus or Lily or Spike 'n
me. He's nowhere, man." Autumn's face was tense. She and Spike had never failed to
find anyone before. James ran a hand thru his messy hair and thought for a moment, trying to
squelch the panic rising inside him.
"All right, then . . . just tell everyone . . . have everyone go back to the common room. I
have one more place to check then I'll meet you all there."
"You're the boss, mate." Autumn gave James a mock salute, placed a reassuring hand on
his shoulder momentarily, and then ran off. He watched her go, then turned and hurried his pace
toward the Whomping Willow. He was now extremely worried. Sirius had never disappeared like this
before. He prayed his best friend was all right.

***********

Sirius wasn't in the Shrieking Shack. He wasn't in the South Tower, or the Great Hall. He
hadn't snuck into Hogsmeade; he wasn't in the room behind that mirror on the fourth floor.
And he hadn't gone back to the hospital wing.
He was deep in the bowels of the Forbidden Forest, farther in than he or any of the Marauders had
ever been before. The atmosphere was dense and thick, the air itself heavy. If he had noticed his
surroundings, he would have felt as if the air was trying to push him into the ground. The trees
groaned and creaked in the wind and there was a fine mist hanging about the ground.
*"Padfoot, I think I'm in love with her". . . . . . . . . . . ." Don't
leave." "I have to." . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Lily in his arms. . . .
. . . . . . "You should really be nicer to her, Sirius. She's not that bad."
"Yes she is Remus!" . . . Lily in front of the fire . . . . . . . running around with
James and Remus and Peter, Marauders for 7 years now. . . . . . . . .all those dreams. . .
.*
It was official. Sirius was a slime ball. Not only had he had fallen in love with the one person
his best friend in the world loved, he had kissed her TWICE! Sirius was lost. He loved Lily, but
James was his brother. Did he fight for the girl, or stick with his friend? Would Lily even want
him if he did try to win her over? Would James even stay his friend if he knew what Sirius had done
and how he felt? . . . . . . If Lily loved him back, did it matter?

*************
Remus ran frantically into the common room. Peter, Sara, Lily, Spike were already gathered around
the fire. He looked frantically for James but didn't see him.
"James isn't here yet Remus." Sara answered his unspoken question. "Come sit and
try to relax. Maybe James and/or Autumn found Sirius and they're bringing him back now."
Sara patted to empty space next to her, but there was no way Remus was sitting down now. He grabbed
Lily's arm, pulling her to her feet. Ignoring her protests, he pulled her upstairs into the
boy’s dorm room.
Remus slammed the door shut, locked it, and turned to Lily.
"What happened with you and Sirius," he demanded. Lily looked absolutely stunned.
"How did you--what're you, psychic now or something?!"
Remus shook his head. "Whatever happened, Snape knows and he's going to find James. Lily,
we have to find him first!"
Lily was too surprised to say anything at first. She stared at Remus, her mind spinning a hundred
miles an hour as she tried to think.
"How did you . . .?" Lily's voice was weak. Her eyes spelled out her guilt as Remus
stared her down.
"Calista. Never mind-" he held up his hand as Lily opened her mouth to speak - “I’m
assuming you and Sirius kissed? Don't speak; just shake your head yes or no." Lily nodded.
"Well,'' Remus continued, "Snape saw you and now he's off to spill the beans
to James. He knows that if James hears it from someone else, especially Snape, before he hears it
from you, it'll kill him. It's what Snape wants. We have to find James. Come
on."
Remus grabbed Lily's hand and once again pulled her behind him, this time back
downstairs.
"What is going on?!" Sara exclaimed as they passed. Remus shook his head at her as he and
Lily headed for the door. Just then, Autumn stepped thru the portrait hole.
"What's the word, mockingbird?" Spike asked his twin.
"James aid wait for him here," she shrugged. Remus let out a growl of frustration and
turned away from everyone. Autumn crossed to him and put her hands on his shoulders.
"Hey, Remus, everything's going to be all right," she said in a soothing voice.
"Just try not to worry. I'm sure nothing's wrong."
Remus just looked at Lily, the worry evident in his brown eyes. Her emerald ones stared back, just
as afraid.


***************

James emerged from the Whomping Willow thoroughly frustrated. Sirius hadn't been there. He
brushed the dirt off his arms and ran his fingers thru his hair again. He headed back toward his
common room.
*Maybe Remus found him after all. Or Lily did. . .* Just thinking Lily's name made him
walk faster. He still couldn't believe how things had turned out between them. James had never
been in love before, but if this was love then it was better than anything he'd ever heard or
read about. Being with Lily was like finding that part of himself he'd been missing his whole
life but hadn't known it. Lily fulfilled him. He hated being apart from her and couldn't
get enough of her when they were together.
Lily hadn't said "I love you" yet, but it didn't matter. He could wait to hear
it. After all, he'd waited for seven years for Lily Ann Evans to notice him the way he noticed
her. He was happy. James wouldn't push her to say it because there was that terrifying fear she
would be saying it just to appease him.
*What if she never says it at all?* a nagging voice in his head whispered. James shoved it
back down, not wanting to dwell on that. She'd say it. He knew she would. She had to. Lily had
become his everything.
The nagging vice wasn't done yet. *And if she finds someone better?*
James froze with his hand on the handle of the great oak doors leading inside the castle. His blood
chilled and his insides curdled. Now that he finally experienced life with Lily, he didn't want
to imagine a world without her. James took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. The very
thought of Lily with someone else, holding someone else's hand and kissing someone else's
lips made him broil with rage. He would die.
*It hasn't happened,* the rational part of his brain told him. *Why fret over things
that will never come to pass?* James sighed and pulled open the doors. *All hail
rationality,* he thought. He walked past the Great Hall and headed toward Gryffindor
Tower.
A still scaly-faced Severus Snape stepped out of the shadows and blocked James' way.
"Potter. We need to talk."



11. Caught
----------

Remus finally couldn't take it anymore. He ignored the other's protests and burst out
the portrait hole and headed towards the main hall. He had to find James and hide him from Severus,
or find Sirius and knock him upside the head. Either one worked just fine.
He turned the corner and stopped dead in his tracks. James was right there! He looked at Remus and
gave a small smile.
"Any luck on Padfoot yet?" he asked. Remus could only shake his head; all vocal
capabilities were caught in his throat. James gave Remus a quizzical look. "Everything all
right mate?" Remus nodded.
James shrugged. "Wanna hear something ridiculous? I just ran into old Snivelly and he tried to
convince me that he'd caught Sirius and Lily snogging! Of all people! Stupid git, I don't
know what he's trying to. . ." James' voice trailed off as he looked at Remus'
face.
"Moony?" Remus could only stare at James. He knew his face was betraying him, telling
James the very thing he didn't want to know, that Snape was right.
All traces of a smile left James' face. "Is it true?" Once again, Remus could only
nod, although now he was staring at the ground. He couldn't bear to look at James'
face.
"And you knew?" James spoke in a very quiet voice.
Remus finally found his voice. "I only just found out -" He stopped short when he looked
up and saw the end of James' wand directly in his face. Completely floored, he looked at James.
The burning in his eyes was so intense Remus actually stepped away from his friend.
"Prongs?" he asked quietly.
"Get. Away. From. Me." James was deadly quiet, but his hand was shaking. When Remus
didn't move, James' face screwed up in fury.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!" Remus turned and ran down the hall, leaving James alone. He
decided to go back outside.

*********


It was 2am. Sara, Autumn, Spike and Peter had finally gone to bed. Remus hadn't returned yet
and there was still no sign of James or Sirius. Lily sat alone on the couch staring into the dying
embers of the fire. She absentmindedly twirled a lock of her hair though her fingers as she waited.
And waited. And waited. 2:30. 3am. Her head was beginning to droop onto her shoulders when the door
slowly creaked open and a tall figure stepped into the room. She anxiously looked up into warm dark
eyes.
"Sirius Black! Do you have any idea how freaked out we've all been?! Where on earth were
you? We looked everywhere! You had us scared to death!" Lily stood and verbally assaulted
Sirius. He just stared back with the strangest look on his face.
*She was worried about me. She does care. God, she's gorgeous when she's angry. It makes
this so much harder.* He took a deep breath. He had to do this.
"Lily," he started.
"Listen, Snape-" Sirius cut Lily off by walking forward and gently placing a finger on
her lips.
"Me first," he said softly. "Please, Lily, this will be so much easier if I can just
talk." Lily looked into his eyes. *He looks so sad,* she thought. She slowly nodded. Her
news about Severus could wait one moment longer. He took his finger away from her lips and spoke
again, in that same soft, tired voice.
"I love you."
Lily's eyes widened. She could think of nothing to say. In a million years, she had never
imagined Sirius Black would ever say anything remotely like that to her. Then again, until this
year they'd never even been friends. Sirius went on.
"I love James more. He's been my best friend most of my life and he's essentially the
only family I've ever really known. And he loves you. I can't do this to him. . . We both
just have to walk away from this. For James."
Lily nodded and felt the tears well up in her eyes. She didn't know if she loved Sirius Black,
but she'd never find out. She wasn't willing to hurt James. She cared for him too
much.
"Sirius, I--" The sobs choked her words before she could get them out. She closed her
eyes, the tears now flowing freely down her face.
Sirius watched her face crumple and it burned into his soul. He couldn't bear to see her cry.
It was like a knife in his heart.
"Oh, Lily. . ." he whispered. He gently reached up and brushed the tears off her cheeks.
She slowly opened her eyes and stared straight into his. He looked back, his hands no longer
brushing away tears but tenderly cupping her face.
He very slowly leaned in and Lily tilted her face to meet his. *Just one more time* they both
thought. Lily's lips met Sirius' in a kiss light as air. They both pulled back slightly,
then leaned in again. The kiss was slow but passionate. They simply melted into each other. Sirius
felt his arms go around her and hold her closer. He knew it was the last time he would ever get to
hold her like this and he wanted to make it a moment to remember. Lily opened her mouth slightly
and her tongue met his in a gentle massage.
Lily grabbed Sirius' hair and pulled him closer to her. Not even James kissed her like this.
She felt fresh tears running down her face, but held onto Sirius as their lips explored each other.
It was horrible and wonderful at the same time.
Slowly, ever so slowly, the kiss lessened until they drifted apart. Their foreheads rested against
each other as they struggled for breath. Finally Sirius looked into Lily's eyes one more time
and gently brushed her hair back from her face. He let it run thru his fingers before dropping his
hand to his side.
Lily choked back fresh sobs and nodded at Sirius. They let go of each other and stepped back. After
a longing look, they turned and found James in the doorway.



12. Telling James
-----------------

For a moment, James thought his eyes were deceiving him. There was no way he was watching his
best friend and his girlfriend having a make out session in the common room. But the horrible sight
didn't vanish, and he realized this was actually happening. *I guess she found someone better
after all*, his mind whispered to him. James felt the rage boiling up inside him until he
thought he would burst.
Lily and Sirius finally stepped way from each other. They turned toward the door and saw him
standing there. He saw their faces, Lily's horrified, Sirius' guilty. He found he
couldn't look either of them in the face, so without a word he turned and walked up to his
dorm, slamming the door behind him as he went.

***********
"Ohgodohgodohgod," Lily muttered. She put closed her eyes and sank back onto the sofa.
She rocked back and forth holding her face in her hands. The look on James' face had been
terrible. Lily knew it would haunt her dreams. She was so stupid! It was over, everything had been
ruined. And it was all her fault.

***********
Sirius paced the common room. He felt like he was going to be sick. He tried to take a deep breath,
but his lungs weren't working properly anymore. Finally, he came to rest in front of Lily, who
still had her face in her hands.
"I'm going to go talk to him," he said nervously. Lily didn't look at him, she
just nodded her head. Sirius stared at the top of her head a moment. He wanted desperately for her
to look at him, to have her eyes give him some sort of encouragement. It wasn't going to
happen. Sirius sighed, mentally took a deep breath, and headed upstairs. *Oh lord, I'm going
to die. . . .*

The door to the boy's dormitory slowly squeaked open. Sirius entered cautiously and looked
around. It was completely dark inside. The only light came from the open door. There was a lamp on
the wall by the door. Sirius pulled out his wand. "Lumos," he muttered and tapped the
lamp. It flickered at once into a soft glow. Slowly, the other lamps around the room followed suit,
and in the dim glow Sirius saw James. He was lying on his bed, arms folded behind his head, staring
at the ceiling.
Sirius entered the room and swung the door shut behind him. It closed with a loud CLANK. There was
complete silence in the room. Neither boy said anything. James did nothing but stare at the
ceiling. Sirius stayed exactly where he was. After a few minutes of shuffling his feet, Sirius
decided to speak.
"Listen-"
"Oh, don't tell me. You can explain everything?" James' voice was very hard, very
bitter. "This isn't a prank you can talk your way out of. The old 'Black Charm'
isn't work a pile of knarl droppings this time. So just save me the usual explanations of how
you just couldn't help yourself and neither of you really knew what you were doing. If I have
to listen to it I'll be sicker than I feel already." James' voice had gotten stronger,
louder and more vicious as he spoke.
"Please-- Prongs-"
"DON'T call me that!" James was on his feet facing Sirius. His face was white and he
was shaking. Even in the dim light, Sirius could see how bloodshot his eyes were. "Don't
you EVER call me that again! That name from you-- the sound of your voice--- the very sight of you
makes me want to VOMIT! You're a---- how could you---” James’ voice suddenly went weak and his
face collapsed. "You were supposed to be my friend," he finished softly.
James' burning eyes bore holes into Sirius' soul. It was unbearable. Sirius swallowed
nervously. James gave a noise of disgust and stalked toward the window. There was another long
silence, which only a creaking was heard.
"You're right," Sirius said. "I was supposed to be your friend. This wasn't
supposed to happen Pro--James. You weren't supposed to get hurt."
"So, how is it with the two of you? Do you compare your kissing to mine? Laugh behind my back?
'Silly clueless James, making a fool of himself for 7 years, isn't it
funny?'"
"Of course not." Sirius was stunned James could even ask him that.
"Then what was it?" James demanded.
"Well. . . I just. . . I mean. . ." Sirius was uncomfortable. He saw the realization
creep into James eyes.
"*I* love her! I *love* her and you KNEW it! I *told* you and you *still*
took her away from me!"
"No one took me away from you, James."
Both boys whirled to the door. Lily stood there with her hand on the doorknob. Bathed in the light
from the hall, it seemed Lily was glowing. Tears no longer crossed her face, but she looked tired
and completely miserable. Sirius tore his eyes away from her to look at James. The pain he was
feeling was plain on his face.
"Please," Sirius tried again, "please just--let's just *talk* about
this!"
James clenched his teeth. "Sirius, all I want to do right now is hit you until you bleed to
death. So get out before I act on it."
Sirius took a step towards James. He opened his mouth--
"Go, Sirius." Lily's voice was quiet but firm.
Surprised, he turned to Lily. The look he gave her was hurt and confused. Lily looked at him and
nodded. She held open the door and waited for him to go. Sirius gave a last look to James then
turned and quickly left the room.
Lily shut the door and turned to face James. She cleared her throat.

"What do you want me to say, James? Or do you want to go first?" Her voice was quiet.
She sounded like she had nothing left inside her.
James didn't answer her right away. Even though it was killing him to look at her, it would
kill him more to look away. He went over every inch of her face, even though he had memorized it
years ago.
"I'm not sure what to say," he answered.
"Neither do I," Lily said.
"Why?" James asked her.
Lily paused while she considered her answer. “It’s something that just happened. I don't know
if there is a 'why'."
"Out of all the people in the world, why Sirius? Why my *best friend*, Lily?" James
tried to sound calm, he didn't yell, but his voice betrayed his feelings.
". . . . I don't know. It just ended up that way."
James ran his hand through his hair. It made Lily smile sadly. She used to hate that habit, but it
was so James she couldn't argue with it anymore.
James was quiet again for a long moment. He didn't feel the anger he'd felt with Sirius.
Now, there was a sense of loss, of hurt, of deep sadness. He could never be angry with Lily. He
loved her too much. That's why this was worse than facing Sirius. James knew Lily didn't
love him back. *I wasn't enough after all.* He sat on his bed and stared at the floor,
blinking back tears. Tears were weak. He refused to be weak. He wanted her to leave.
"Shouldn't you go?" he shot at her. "Go be with the person you really want to be
with."
Lily thought of Sirius downstairs. She knew this was the choice Remus had talked about, the
decision she had to make. She could either walk out the door and find Sirius, or stay. Staying was
futile. She knew James would never be able to forgive her. Lily so wanted him to forgive her. She
wanted to be able to hold his hand, have him smile at her, finally go to Hogsmeade together. .
.
"I am with the person I want to be with." Lily knew. She was an idiot, and it may be too
late, but she knew. She crossed to James and sat on the bed next to him.
*She's here because she pities me. That's all. She's trying to feel better about
herself by staying. Don't make more of it than it is,* James thought.
*You know her better than that,* he answered himself.
*Do you?* that nagging voice whispered again. *You know how you feel about her, but what
about how she feels?*
*Stop it,* he told himself firmly.
Lily waited for James to say something, anything. The silence was killing her.
James finally cleared his throat. "Then why-- if you say you want---- how could you. . .
." He couldn't even accuse her of deliberately hurting him. It was too much.
"I didn't know then," Lily said. "I've only just figured it out for
myself."
"And when was that?" James asked.
"Pretty much now," Lily answered him. "My sense of timing was never
spectacular."
"No kidding," James snorted. They smiled at each other. *We're actually
smiling!* Lily thought. *Could he actually. . .* She was too nervous to finish that
thought.
*She looks like she really wants to be here. Merlin above, she's perfect when she smiles. Is
it possible . . .?* James was so confused. The evening had been filled with so much, he felt
like lying down and never getting up again. He just had to know. . .
Lily didn't quite know what to do. James looked so lost, sitting on his bed. .
"I'm so sorry, James."
"Don't say that," he answered sharply. "Don't give me 'sorry’.
‘Sorry' doesn't change anything."
"I know that," she said softly. "Do you--- do you still want me to
leave?"
"I don't know," he answered. "I just wish. . . "
"I know," Lily said. "Me too. But what good does that do us?"
There was a huge silence. James couldn't believe he was going to say this.
"What 'us', Lily?"
Lily blinked, then nodded sadly. She stood and started for the door. James' heart caught in his
throat.
"Wait, Lily." He stood and walked toward her. She turned to face him, trying to keep the
hope inside her hidden. "Is that it?" he asked. "Are you just . . . walking
away?"
"I am trying to do what you want, James. What else is there?"
"Tell me what else you think there is."
Lily looked long and hard into James' eyes. No words came to her, so she did the only thing she
could think of. She kissed him.
James was stunned. Her kiss was light, nervous. Before she could pull away, he stepped in and
kissed her back. His hands cradled her face, her arms went around him. It was perfect. Then, his
mind brought him back to reality and what was happening. James very regretfully broke the kiss and
stepped away from Lily.
"I'm not sure about this anymore," he whispered. "I--- I just need some time to
figure out. . ." *Figure out what? Whether she . . . whether I could. . . God this is so
hard!*
Lily nodded. She knew what James was getting at.
"I can wait," she said. "You're worth waiting for." James just stared at
her and she smiled. "Yeah, I know, after 7 years, now I'm the one waiting. Pretty ironic.
But however long it takes, I'll wait. I don't deserve-"
"Don't," James said again. "I can't take it anymore, all right?"
Lily swallowed back her tears and straightened her shoulders. She reached over and tenderly brushed
the hair out of James' eyes, then turned and walked away. *Say it! Say it!* her mind
screamed at her. *This could be your one chance so SAY IT!!*
Lily looked back over her shoulder. James had turned away towards the window again. He couldn't
watch her leave.
"I love you." Lily shut the door behind her and ran to her room. In the boys’ room, James
spun around and stared at the door, completely frozen. *She said it . . . . .*




13. 3 Weeks Later
-----------------

----- 3 WEEKS LATER------

Calista Serene gathered up her school things and walked out of Potions with the rest of the
Slytherins. No one in her gang was aware she had spilled to Remus what Severus had done. She just
wished Remus had gotten there in time. Everyone knew James and Lily were broken up because of
Sirius Black. There was no other conversation in the girl's loos she'd overheard except
that.
The Marauders were almost completely separated now. Apparently, James wasn't speaking to Remus
yet, either. In fact, the only person he talked to was that little Peter Pettigrew. Annoying twit,
he was. She didn't know how anyone put up with his constant *whining*! At mealtimes, she
saw James and Peter at one end of the Gryffindor table. Remus would be always down, usually
somewhere near Lily, who was usually with that annoying Sara Brown and those awful twins, Autumn
and Spike. Sirius either ate outside or sat alone at the far end of the table.
Calista didn't feel sorry for any of them. They all deserved what they got. *Stupid
Gryffindors. Lording their 'coolness' over the entire school as if they were gods. They
deserve this. It's about time the perfect people felt pain.*
The only one she felt anything other than hate for was Remus Lupin. She knew Remus wasn't
perfect, that his life had been just as difficult as hers. Calista knew Remus was a werewolf.
Severus had told her about the nasty trick they had all played on him last year. Leading him into a
werewolf-inhabited tunnel. Severus could have died! *Not like he'd actually be missed . . .
just one less person to worry about.* Calista wasn't really fond of anybody.
Then why was she rushing off to corner Remus again? It's not like she had a responsibility to
help him and his horrid friends out with their problems! And Evans deserved what was about to
happen to her. Little Miss Perfect, she was. She had it coming. It was such a perfect plan;
they'd even had help from a Gryffindor!! Of course, the little worm was easily bought, but
still. . . Malfoy was going to teach Little Miss Perfect a thing or two, and get his own nasty
Mudblood-filled fantasies out of his head at the same time. Calista was the only one who knew about
Malfoy's Lily obsession. Disgusting. Hopefully, fulfilling them would put an end to it.
Then why was she running to Remus to ruin it all?

**********

Sara and Lily had walked around the lake three times and Lily *still* hadn't said
anything. Sara had given up trying to get her to talk. It was like Lily had ceased to be aware of
her surroundings. Weeks she'd been like this, with no improvement.
Sara wished Lily would just get over the whole James/Sirius thing and move on already!
*That's not fair. You're still upset that it was Sirius-----just take your own advice and
get over it. It's not like Sirius even knew you existed anyway.*
Sara shook off her feelings. Lily was her best friend, always had been, and Sara wasn't about
to let any man tear them apart. Even Sirius Black.
A bush to Sara's right rustled, attracting her attention. An enormous rat shot out from
underneath it and headed straight for Sara. She shrieked and tried to run. Rats terrified her more
than anything. The rat followed her and ran over her foot -- *Oh my God it actually TOUCHED
me!!* -- then ran off into the shadows.
Sara tried to remember to breath, but she was too freaked out. Since when do rats chase people? her
foot tingled where the furry little beast had touched it.
"Disgusting little rodents SUCK!!" she screamed at the sky.
"Yeah, suck," Lily said vaguely. Sara gritted her teeth. Well, at least Lily spoke.
"Look, Lily, I-"
Sara's mind suddenly went blank. What had she been about to say? Oh, yes. She had to go back to
the school now.
"I have to go now," she said. She saw Lily look at her, actually look, but it didn't
matter now. Sara was supposed to be at the school, away from Lily. Bad things were about to happen
that she didn't want to see. The voice told her so.




14. A Note From The Author
--------------------------

**~** A Note from the Author **~**

Greetings, my loyal readers. I’m writing this because I feel the need to say a few things. First
off, your support for this story is wonderful! Those who’ve read the complete, but edited version
on Darkmark.com will be a bit surprised by what is coming.

For the most part, this has been a Romance-centered story. From this point on, things get a bit
twisted, and while there will be romance, the dramatic and adventurous aspects of the story come
more into play. It gets very very dark, and I’m writing this note for my younger readers.

While I love everyone who is reading, I ask all new readers to stick with me through the next
few chapters. I promise, it gets very rewarding.

The next update will be up tomorrow, and I will probably do at least 3 chapters. I just had
surgery, so I’m trying to catch up with all my posting now that I am home.

Thank you all for reading, and I appreciate all of your comments and feedback. It means more
than you all know.

**~** Faeries Masquerade **~**



15. Lucius
----------

**Chapter 13: Lucius**

"What the hell?" Lily watched as Sara walked dreamily back up to the castle. It
wasn't like Sara to just take off and not say why. *She probably told you why, you just
weren't listening. Again.* Lily felt bad. She hadn't been the best of friends to anyone
lately, but Sara (and Autumn) were still sticking by her. It was just so much easier to be in
La-La-Land than to be at Hogwarts. She could be as miserable and self deprecating as she wished
there, with no one to scold her.
The bush behind her rustled again. *Jeez, how many giant rats are in that bush anyways?* She
decided to keep walking before the rodents of unusual size jumped her. That was when the voice came
from behind the bush.
"Finally. I thought we'd never be alone," Lucius Malfoy stepped out from the shadows.
Lily automatically reached for her wand, but Lucius was too quick. His was aimed at her before she
even reached her pocket.
"Now, now. Be nice." Lily froze and glared daggers at him.
"What do you want, Malfoy?"
He gave her a leery, appraising look. "You, for starters." He began to walk lazily
towards her, his eyes crawling over her body. Lily grabbed her wand but Lucius was two steps ahead
of her.
"Accio!" Lily's wand shot out of her hand and flew into Lucius'. He gave it a
disinterested glance before snapping it into pieces and tossing the remains carelessly over his
shoulder. "That takes care of that problem." his wand was still aimed at her face.
Lily backed up until she hit the trunk of a large tree. She turned to run, but Lucius caught her
hair as it streamed out behind her. He pulled, slammed her back against the tree trunk and pinned
her there with his body.
"Now, Evans, don't make this any harder than it has to be. Unless that's how you like
it. . . " He leaned in and inhaled the scent of her hair.
"Let me go!" She turned her face away when he tried to kiss her. He slapped her across
the face. Lily blinked and saw stars dancing in front of her. Lucius leaned in and bit her ear
roughly. The filthy Mudblood tasted awfully good. . .
"Not that I'm into tasting Black and Potter's leftovers. I just want to see what all
the fuss is about." His tongue crawled down her neck and Lily thought she would be ill. She
pushed against him, but he shoved her back against the tree. Lily tried to hit him, but he grabbed
her wrists and held them away from him.
"Lucius, please," she begged. She tried staring into his eyes to invoke some kind of
pity, but it was too late. She had already pissed him off.
"Not as friendly as you are when it's your little Gryffinsnots doing you, are you? I told
you to play nice!" He shoved her again against the tree. "Let's see if you taste as
good as you look," as he pulled her, struggling, to the ground.

***************

*She deserves everything she's getting. She has it coming.*

*Then why are you trying to ruin it?*

*I'm not. I'm just going to talk to Remus. I'm not going to even mention the
girl.*

*You will.*

"Stop it." Calista actually put her hands over her ears as if she could block out the
arguing voices in her head. She didn't know where that other voice had come from. The one that
was trying to convince her to tell someone what was happening to Lily Evans. It was absurd. Calista
didn't help people. Hell, she never did anything unless it benefited her in some way, everyone
knew that!
So, where did the voice come from? She looked up and happened to spot Remus Lupin walking across
the grounds. Alone again. She froze and watched him. *He looks sick. . .* Of course he did.
Tonight was the full moon. She so wanted to go over and talk to him. To tell him what was
happening, so he could stop it--
What was wrong with her?! Surely, a mild physical attraction couldn't give her a conscience.
Could it?
No, she wasn't going to help Little Miss Perfect Evans. She deserved what was happening to her
for being everything Calista wasn't. She was just going to go have a casual conversation with
Remus . . . about what? What on earth would a Slytherin and a Gryffindor have to talk about?
*If you let this thing happen to Lily Evans, absolutely nothing. He'll never see you as
anything but a slimy, sickly, treacherous--*
She had walked up to Remus without realizing it. Calista took a deep breath and spoke.
"Remus. We have to talk."
Remus bit back a sigh. "About what? You're as bad as a Grim, you know that? Except instead
of death, you bring bad news. What catastrophic event is going to happen now? Or are you just
stalking me for laughs now?" Remus instantly felt guilty. He hadn't meant to snap at her,
even though it was Calista Serene he was dealing with. It was just that with none of his friends
being on speaking terms and the impending full moon, he wasn't in a very good mood.
"I'm sorry, Calista, what did you need to talk about?"
Calista stared at Remus as though she'd never seen him before? A Grim? He was comparing her to
a filthy, scummy Grim? And she was desperate enough to stalk him?! Well, she could deal with
that.
"I'm sorry," she said coldly. "I forgot I was dealing with a silly werewolf. Go
bite someone else's head off. I'm not in the mood to be supper for a freak tonight. Thanks
anyway."
Calista turned and stalked off, fuming. So that's what he thought of her. Fine. And as for
Evans, well, she had it coming. She hoped Lucius made it hurt. It didn't bother Calista one
bit. No sir.

**************

Lily tried vainly to throw Lucius off of her, but he was too strong for her. He had a hand over
her mouth and the other was tearing at her robes. Her head was throbbing. She was terrified. Her
normally rational mind was freaking out on her. She couldn't see any way out of this.
A jet of reed light blasted out from the trees and hit Lucius. He was flung back a few feet---off
of Lily. She took her opportunity and ran as fast as she could towards the castle. She heard Lucius
get up and try to give chase. Lily put on more speed and ran flat out, as fast as she could. Her
eyes were blinded by the tears that were finally coursing down her face. She couldn't really
see where she was going, so of course she ended up running into someone.
"OUCH! What the--Lily?" Lily blinked away her tears to find she had run smack into James.
Something finally ended up semi-right! The one person her heart was crying for at this very moment
was the one person she had ended up running into. Without a word she flung her arms around his neck
and sobbed into his shoulder.
James was floored. One moment he'd been moping about the grounds, halfheartedly looking for
Peter, the next Lily was crying on his shoulder like the world had ended. She'd come out of
nowhere too.
"Ummm, Lily? Lily, I kind of want my shoulder back. . ." It was too weird for him to have
her suddenly clinging to him like this. He gently pushed her away from him, and that was when he
saw her face. The bruises, the twigs and leaves in her hair. Noticed her torn robes. Saw the fear
in her eyes.
"Oh, god, who. . ." James brushed her hair out of her eyes and wiped the blood off her
cheek. She started to sob again and he instantly pulled her into his arms. "Shhh. . .It’s all
right. I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you. Shhhh. . ." he rubbed her back as
he whispered in her ear that all would be well.
Over her shoulder, he suddenly noticed Remus standing a few yards off. He whistled, catching
Remus' attention. His eyes widened when he saw Lily and James. James gestured for Remus to come
over. Remus was at his side instantly.
"She needs the hospital wing," James whispered. "Help me get her there?"
Remus nodded and gently took Lily's arm. "It's ok Lil', everything's ok."
A true friend, he didn't even ask any questions. He just helped. James suddenly felt horrible
for how he'd treated Remus. It wasn't his fault what had happened. Remus must have felt
what James was feeling, because he looked him straight in the eye, gave him a mischievous wink and
a quick grin before returning his attention to Lily. James grinned inside. His friends
rocked.
Lily let Remus take her arm but leaned against James. Her mind was still in revolt against
rationality. All she knew was that her James was here and nothing could hurt her now.
Lily was still leaning against James' shoulder as they walked to the hospital wing and he
realized he had no problem with her being there. He had his arm around her waist supporting her. He
wanted to keep her in his arms. God he was a moron. As soon as things were calmed, he would tell
her he loved her the way she'd told him weeks ago. James didn't ever want to be apart from
her again. And he would make sure whoever had hurt his Lily would rue the day.





16. The News is Spread
----------------------

**Chapter 14: The News is Spread**

Lucius watched the pretty boy and the freak help Evans up into the castle. His breath came in
ragged pants and his shoulder hurt where the Stunning Spell had hit him. The Stunner that had come
from nowhere!!! He glowered at the great oak doors as they closed behind the three Gryffindors.
Lucius knew he'd never be able to get that close to Evans again without getting into a decent
fight first. Ignorant Mudblood. She didn't realize what she would have gotten from Lucius. To
be merely touched by him was an honor, and he *wanted* her! She should be thanking him on
bended knee . . . among other things. Groaning, he shook his head and slowly crept back to the
Slytherin common room.

*********

Sirius picked moodily at his plate of fish and chips. Life without the Marauders was turning out
to be completely miserable. He especially missed James. Classes were boring without someone to plan
pranks with, or laugh at the teachers, or charm spitballs to fly at Snivellus... But James was
ignoring him, which meant Peter was too. Remus had seemed willing to talk, but Sirius purposefully
distanced himself from Remus just to keep things safe. He knew Remus was in hot water with James
and though he didn’t know the details, he didn’t want to make things worse for his friend. So
Sirius isolated himself.
*How could I let this happen?! My best friend’s girlfriend. . . I shouldn’t have done anything
about my feelings for Lily. I should have ignored them. Stupid git!* He’d spent weeks mentally
abusing himself. He thought it would be therapeutic, but it wasn’t doing much good so far.
People were coming into the Great Hall with horrified looks on their faces, having whispered
conversations. He didn’t care. The only whispering he’d heard lately had rumors of why Lily and
James had broken up. Many had to do with him. Sirius was sick of the whispers and the odd looks he
got in the halls. He hoped it was as annoying to the others as it was to him. Sure enough, he heard
Lily’s name being whispered by a group of girl’s passing behind him.
“Wonder what happened. . . The way she looked. . . . James Potter. . . “
So it was the usual stuff. Nothing of interest. Sirius shrugged and went back to his uneaten
dinner. The fish was cold now. He threw his piece of fish back onto his plate and stood to leave.
He glanced at the High Table and saw one of the girls who had been whispering behind him talking to
Professor Dumbledore. Dumbledore face looked very worried. He stood and strode quickly from the
hall, igniting a great deal of muttering among the staff and students alike. It was not
Dumbledore’s custom to leave in the middle of dinner.
Sirius had turned to watch Dumbledore’s progress from the hall so he was facing the doors when
Autumn and her brother Spike came in. Instantly, they were bombarded with questions from various
students.
“What happened to her?”
“Did you see anything?”
“Do they know who hurt her yet?”
“How is Lily? Is she going to be all right?”
“WE DON’T KNOW!!! STOP BADGERING US!” Spike yelled. The Great Hall fell into silence and that was
when Spike caught Sirius’ eye.
*Lily’s hurt. Someone’s hurt Lily.* The thought ran over and over in Sirius’ head as he bolted
for the doors. Spike tried to grab Sirius as he passed but too many people were in the way. He ran
out the doors, ran smack into a student – it was Calista. Ignoring her cry of surprise, he kept
going. He had to get to Lily.
He ran for the hospital wing as fast as he could. He had to know what happened to Lily; he had to
get to her. He didn't care about the students he was pushing out of the way; what were they
compared to his Lily?
He flew down the corridors, his heart pounding in his ears. Everything around him was a blur
except. . . He turned a corner, skidded to a stop and slowly turned back around. There was Sara
Brown, walking along and humming to herself like she didn't have a care in the world.
*Sara wouldn't be like this if there was something wrong with Lily.* Sirius decided to
double check anyway. He whistled at Sara and waved her over to him. Sara glided over.
"Hey, Sara," he said while trying to keep his voice as casual as possible, "have you
seen Lily today?"
Sara giggled. "You're not supposed to ask that question anymore!" she scolded him in
a singsong voice.
"I just heard a rumor she wasn't okay, and I wondered if you knew anything. . ."
Sirius let his voice trail off. *Please god, let me be overreacting. Let everything be all
right.*
"I dunno," Sara said. She was giggling like a loon now, and hiding her face in her hands.
*This isn't right.* Sirius began to edge slowly away from Sara, wondering what was going
on. Sara's face went suddenly solemn. Sirius noticed her, truly noticed her for the first time.
Her pale skin, her clouded eyes with the pupils completely dilated and rimmed in red, her shaking
hands.
"I'm supposed to be at school," Sara said softly. Her voice sounded like it was
coming from miles away. *She's under a spell,* Sirius realized.
"You are at school, Sara," Sirius replied. He was trying to catch her eye, but she
refused to look directly at him.
"Sara," he pushed, "what happened to Lily?"
"I don't know. I left. . . " Sara turned away and walked toward a nearby window.
Sirius ran to her. He grabbed her arm and whirled her around to face him.
"Left her where?" he demanded.
". . . the lake . . . it was just us and I left. . . " The far away voice was seriously
creeping Sirius out now. Something was very wrong. He knew it in his gut.
"You left her alone? Why would you do that?" Sirius shook her hard, trying to get her to
snap out of whatever spell she was under. Sara finally looked directly into his eyes and he was
stunned at what he saw there: fear, rage, confusion, hate.
"BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TOO!" she screamed.

*********

James paced back and forth in front of the doors to the hospital wing. He didn't know how
Remus could be so calm, just sitting like he was on the ground, his head leaned back against the
wall. Dumbledore had told them to wait outside while he spoke to Lily. That was over an hour
ago.
"You're gonna end up pacing a trail into the stone floor, and I don't think Filch has
the resources to fix something like that," Remus said. James rolled his eyes and kept pacing.
He didn't know how much longer he could stay out here. He needed to be inside, with Lily. She
was calling to him, he could feel it. They had been apart for too long, and now she needed him with
her and he was out here! He hoped Dumbledore came out soon. The waiting was agony.






17. Calista and the Slytherins
------------------------------

**Chapter 15: Calista and the Slytherins**

Calista rubbed her shoulder where that maniac Black had run into her. He'd just bolted from
the Great Hall and run into her, then kept going like she didn't exist! Not a "sorry"
or anything, what have you. She sniffed and passed the Great Hall to the door to the Slytherin
common room. *Stupid Gryffindors*, she thought. She gave the password - pureblood - and
entered. The secret door had barely shut behind her when she was slammed against the wall by a
red-faced Lucius Malfoy.
His hands were around her throat, squeezing tighter and tighter while he lifted her off her feet.
His eyes sparked gray flame, his voice was a venomous hiss.
"How. Dare. You. How *dare* you betray us like this! After all our planning, you ruin
everything because of some infatuation with a filthy *werewolf!*" He let go of her
abruptly, letting Calista fall to the floor. She gasped in breath and rubbed her neck. She looked
up and saw Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Rabastan, and Severus standing behind Lucius. Their faces were
accusatory, their wands out.
" I -- I --" Calista tried to get the words out, but they caught in her throat and she
choked, hacking and gagging as breath tried to circulate.
"Well," Lucius snarled. "You *what* ?"
Calista finally managed to take a few slow, deep breaths. She closed her eyes as her lungs returned
to normal. She felt her neck; the bruises would take ages to fade. She opened her eyes to face
Lucius.
"I didn't do anything."
Silence greeted her statement. Lucius recovered quickly to accuse her again.
"You Stunned me from the trees."
"I didn't," Calista said again. " I never even left the school. I didn't
tell anyone anything. If someone foiled your grand plan to screw the Mudblood, it sure as hell
wasn't me. So *back off*!" She snarled the last part as she stood on her trembling
legs and pulled out her own wand. Calista glanced over Lucius' shoulder and met Severus'
eyes. They stared at each other for the longest moment. Calista couldn't pull away; it was like
he was holding her there with his mind. *I'm not afraid.* She shook her lank hair out of
her eyes and defiantly faced him, silently daring Severus with her soul to challenge her.
He stared, unblinking, as though he saw the very depths of her mind. Calista felt the oddest
sensation, as though her mind was a library and Severus was rifling through the bookshelves that
revealed her unconscious.
"She's telling the truth," Severus said in his soft voice. He blinked and the
connection that had held her gaze was broken. All turned to look at Severus as Calista sank,
unnoticed, trembling against the wall and to the floor again.
"She's not lying. Calista didn't Stun you, Lucius," Severus said again.
"Then who did?" Lucius demanded.
"Does it matter?" Bellatrix sounded irritated. "At least you didn't make the
biggest mistake ever, Lucius!"
"What are you talking about," Lucius hissed at her.
"A *Mudblood* !" she hissed back. "You want my sister so badly; Narcissa will
never touch you if she knew you had poisoned your flesh with a Mudblood's touch, no matter how
unwilling she may have been. You'd never get your hands on the Black fortune, and your precious
pure-blood only persona would be ruined. So don't you blame Calista for her disgusting
*'infatuation'*, as you call it, unless you're willing to out yourself in the same
boat."
Calista stared. The expression on her face mirrored everyone else's. In all their years
together, Bellatrix had never made such a speech. When Lucius spoke again, it was in a voice
mingled with surprise and resentful admiration.
"Interesting way of putting it, Bella."
"Interesting, ha!" Bellatrix wasn't done. "You should be thanking me on bended
knee for letting Evans escape!"
Calista's eyes widened. *No way. . . . . . . . .*
"I Stunned you, you blithering idiot! You think I would let you ruin our reputations for a
dirty, scummy, rotten MUDBLOOD?!" Bellatrix spoke in a hissing whisper, but her voice carried
throughout the room as though she were screaming.
"Your lust would have ruined us all. I saved you. I saved you, and don't you ever forget
it, or that dream of the great and powerful Lucius Malfoy, that dream you hold so dear, will never
happen! Never, no matter what the Dark Lord tells you, and you know it!"
The eyes of Severus, Lucius, and the Lestrange brothers instantly cut to Bellatrix, who seemed to
realize she had said something she shouldn't. She stopped and closed her mouth, clearly still
not done ranting but unwilling to say any more.
*Dark Lord?* Calista thought. *What the hell?. . . .*
Lucius was glowering daggers at Bellatrix. He looked capable of committing murder, which, Calista
realized, he probably was. Bellatrix and Lucius continued their staring match for long moments,
neither speaking nor moving. They gripped their wands in their hands, ready for the other to make
the first move.
"This solves nothing," Rodolphus spat suddenly. "We have places to be, more
important than here.
"What about. . . " Rabastan let his sentence trail off and jerked his head toward
Calista, who still lay crumpled on the floor. They turned to look at her, apparently Lucius and
Bellatrix had forgotten she was there.
"She comes with," Severus said coldly. "She knows too much now, and I'm not in
the mood to perform another Memory Charm today."
Calista suddenly found herself in the grips of the Lestranges, who were on either side of her.
Lucius bent down until his face was inches from hers.
"Not a word," he threatened. "Just come quietly, and maybe the Master will have the
heart to hear you out. You may prove useful, yet."
The group left the castle and headed toward the Forbidden Forest.



18. Red Eyed Rats
-----------------



**Chapter 16: Red Eyed Rats**

The doors to the hospital wing finally opened. Dumbledore emerged, his face lined with
exhaustion and worry. Remus jumped to his feet, and together with James pounced on the
headmaster.
 "She will be fine," Dumbledore said before they could speak. "In time. I trust you
will both attend to her? There are things I must take care of, things I have overlooked for too
long." Both boys nodded, though neither one knew what was going on.
 Dumbledore looked at them each in turn, nodded and swiftly swept down the hall and out of sight.
James and Remus looked at each other, shrugged, and crept silently into the hospital wing. Lily lay
in a bed at the far end of the hall. Rosy red light from an open window streamed across her, making
her hair seem even more red. It flamed against the white of the pillow, thick and shining. Angry
purple and black bruises appeared in stark contrast to her pale skin. She had scratches across her
cheek, her neck, her chest and arms. Her eyes beneath her closed eyelids seemed sunk into her head,
and there were dark circles under her eyes. To both boys, she was the most gorgeous creature they
had ever seen. 
 "I have to go," Remus said quietly. James looked at him strangely, then realized: red
light. It was sunset. James nodded.
 "I'll be there soon, Moony. I just need--"
 Remus put his hand on James' arm. "To stay with Lily tonight," Remus finished for
him. "Don't worry about me, I'll be all right. I did do this for years without you
guys, I can survive one night." Remus winked at him, then turned and strode quickly out of the
hall. The sun was setting lower every second.
 James turned to find Lily's gorgeous eyes looking at him. His heart melted as he crossed to
her and sat on the edge of the bed. 
 "Hi, love," he said as he gently stoked her face. Lily's eyes teared up as she
smiled at him.
 "Hi," she whispered. 
 "How do you feel? Do you need anything?" 
 "Just you," she answered. "Please stay with me tonight, James."
 "No where else I'd rather be in the world," he said. James lay down next to Lily and
folded her in his arms. She laid her head on his chest and sighed.
 *Finally,* they thought. Both knew this was exactly what the other needed and had longed for.
At peace at last, they were both asleep in moments.

*******

"You are at school, Sara," Sirius replied. He was trying to catch her eye, but she
refused to look directly at him.
 "Sara," he pushed, "what happened to Lily?"
 "I don't know. I left. . ." Sara turned away and walked toward a nearby window.
Sirius ran to her. He grabbed her arm and whirled her around to face him.
 "Left her where?" he demanded.
 ". . . the lake. . . it was just us and I left. . ." The far away voice was seriously
creeping Sirius out now. Something was very wrong. He knew it in his gut.
 "You left her alone? Why would you do that?" Sirius shook her hard, trying to get her to
snap out of whatever spell she was under. Sara finally looked directly into his eyes and he was
stunned at what he saw there: fear, rage, confusion, hate.
 "BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TOO!" she screamed. Her voice echoed off the stone walls. Sara
burst into sobs and collapsed in Sirius' arms.
 "You told me --- yo-you were in m-my ---- my head and ---- and you said --
 b-bad things ---- we--we were walking -------- I heard your v-voice --- the rat --- my foot -----
and L-Lily w-w-was--" Sara couldn't continue anymore and buried her face in Sirius'
chest sobbing her heart out.
 Sirius' mind was reeling with everything she'd just told him. As he went over everything
his mind focused on something she'd said. The nagging feeling that was already in the pit of
his stomach increased and he gently knelt down and held Sara's head until she was looking at
him. Unfortunately, he could tell she was still under the effects of the spell. Still, he had to
try and get her to tell him-"--about the rat," Sirius said firmly. "Tell me about
this rat."
 Sara shivered in his arms. "I hate rats," she whispered. 
 "I know Sara, but I need to know about the rat." Sirius gripped her arms tighter.
*C'mon, Sara, stay with me here.* Her eyes watered again and she whimpered.
 "I hate-"
 "TELL ME!" Sirius shook her hard, his impatience growing. This was ridiculous. They were
sitting here talking about rats when Lily was hurt. . . he knew she was hurt. He could feel it in
his bones.
 Sara sniffled. She looked at Sirius like he was crazy to fixate on this little part of her story,
but there was fear in her eyes too. She was still shaking, but when she spoke her voice seemed
amazingly calm, almost like the real Sara. Almost.
 "We were walking. . . . . . it just ran out from under the bush. . . I screamed and it ran
over my foot. . . then it--" she broke off and jumped back, her eyes wide and staring behind
Sirius. He turned and jumped up in horror. Dozens of rats were pouring out of the cracks between
the wall and floor. Huge, furry, black rats, with their horrible pointed noses sniffing, their bald
tails swishing behind them, and their beady eyes fixed on Sirius and Sara.
 Sirius pulled out his wand, but one of the rats bit his wrist. The world instantly began to spin
out of control. He glanced over and saw through bleary eyes that Sara was already unconscious, rats
swarming over her entire body, biting and scratching as they went. The rats were all over him too.
They kept biting. . . he saw blood. . He tried vainly to hit them away, but he was so dizzy. . . he
saw the blurred outline of someone walking towards him. . . his voice caught in his throat, but
before he could choke out the name his eyes closed, and the world stopped.
 Peter Pettigrew stood in the midst of the swarm of rats staring at the sleeping forms of Sirius
and Sara. He bit his tongue until it bled to keep the cry of regret from bursting out of his
throat. His eyes looked upon Sirius, one of the people who had been his friend for many years. Had
taken care of him, helped him become an Animagi, laughed and talked and played with him.
 And Sara. Poor, poor Sara. His eyes traveled over her lovely face, drinking in every detail. She
was so pretty, just like the others had been. . . but none of that mattered now. He was in too far
to back out. And he had someplace to be.
 "Mobilicorpus." Sara and Sirius were lifted off the ground. They floated in midair, the
army of rats milling about beneath them. . . waiting. Peter directed the bodies with his wand and
led them into the glaring red sunset. . . into the dark, foreboding woods of the Forbidden Forest
where the Slytherins waited for the red eyes.



19. First Night
---------------



*A/N: OK, wow, everybody harness* *his or her* *chi, ok? :P Let me respond to a few
concerns:*


*No, Remus is not in love with Lily. He just, for one brief moment, found her beautiful. Peter
does not even love Lily, really, but that is a matter for the sequel. ;)*


*Lily is just asleep because Madame Pomfrey gave her a sleeping potion. I figured you all
would catch that without me writing it in. My apologies.*


*Peter and the Slytherins… …read on and find out.* *Muahahahaha.*


**Chapter** **17: First Night**

Night brought an eerie calm to Hogwarts. The moon was bright and full, illuminating the fine
mist that hung low about the ground. Students stayed in their dorms, unnerved by the stillness of
the air. It was just as well. Dark things were unfolding.
 Deep in the forest, a werewolf hunted. Remus had not made it to the Shrieking Shack on time and
now roamed the forest at his pleasure; a dark, skulking figure in the shadows. 
 A low noise attracted the wolf's attention. He crept towards a small clearing, keeping low to
the ground. He didn't find dinner there, however. What he saw would have terrified Remus the
human, and probably gotten him killed. The wolf, however, stayed lurking in the shadows, watching.
Deciding to find easier prey, he crept away from the clearing with a low growl. His wolf instincts
knew better than to mess with the red eyes.

 ********************

 Unaware of the goings on around them, Lily and James slept blissfully on. Wrapped in each
other's arms, they gave each other warmth no blanket could provide. Their dreams were filled
with light and love. No darkness could touch them tonight. They slept at peace, the only ones for
the time being.

 *******************

 The moon had set, leaving everything in a murky darkness. Luckily, Rabastan and Rodolphus had
their wands out, tips lit, to guide the way so no one would fall. Calista walked between Severus
Snape and the rat, hiding her bloodied hands in the folds of her robe. She kept her eyes trained on
the ground, trying to block out the memory of what had happened, who she had met, and what she had
just done. The company reached the edge of the forest and halted, huddled in the shade of a massive
oak tree.
 "Get lost, rat," Bellatrix hissed scathingly. Without a word, Peter yanked his hood over
his head and departed, making a beeline for the comforting warmth of Gryffindor Tower.
 *I wonder how he got dragged into all this?* Calista thought idly.
 "We go back in pairs," Lucius said. "Say to the shadows. . . "
 *If they forced him like they did me. . .* 
 The Lestrange brothers left.
 *If he had to do what I did. . .* 
 Bellatrix and Lucius were gone. It was just Calista and Severus now. She started to leave, but
Severus grabbed her hand and pulled her back for a moment.
 "No regrets, are there? He'll know if there are," Severus whispered.
 "Of course not," Calista said. She prayed her voice and face showed more defiance than
she felt. Inside, she was shriveled and whimpering. Severus looked at her a long moment, then
smiled his approval. He released her hand. Calista turned to start back up to the castle. Severus
leaned in and whispered once more in her ear, making her skin break out in goose bumps.
 "That's my girl." 
 *Oh god. . . . .* 

 *********************

 Sirius awoke to the blistering light of dawn. He shut his eyes again to block out the glare of the
sun. The grass was making him itch. He scratched irritated at his skin and weakly sat up. The world
swung back and forth and he groaned and held his head in his hands.
 *Grass?* 
 Ignoring the nausea, he jerked his head up and opened his eyes to stare around him. He was in the
woods, he wasn't exactly sure where. Birds were chirping, happily unaware of the dealings of
wizards. 
 *All right and I got here how?. . . . I was talking to Sara about. . . . . what were we talking
about?* Sirius screwed up his face trying to remember. He and Sara had been in the hallway, and
there was a sense of urgency, but what they were talking about was completely erased from his
memory. Also gone was whatever the urgency was about. He simply couldn't remember.
 Sirius' entire body ached but when he looked over himself and saw nothing to ache about. No
bruises, no scratches, no bite marks. Nothing. 
 "Bite marks?" he said softly. His voice was scratchy and hoarse, like he'd been
screaming for hours. He cleared his throat. "Why would I think bite marks?" He again
combed his memory, trying to remember, but once again came up with nothing. That was when Sirius
realized he was alone.
 "Sara?" He looked around for her, but there was no sign of her anywhere.
 "SARA!" His voice sent a nest of birds flying into the air, but no Sara. Nothing.

********

Lily slowly opened her eyes to find James smiling down at her. His hand was gently stroking the
side of her face. She hesitantly smiled back at him.
 'Hey' he mouthed silently at her.
 'Hey' she mouthed back. She gave him a curious look. *I wonder why we aren't
talking?* Lily opened her mouth to speak, but James put a finger on her lips, put it to his own,
then pointed. The door to Madame Pomfrey's office was wide open and she could be seen sitting
in her chair, fast asleep.
 Lily smiled, then looked back at James. Without a word, he leaned down and gently kissed her lips.
Lily closed her eyes and sighed against his mouth. *I could wake up like this every day. . .*

 She put her hand on his neck and drew him closer to her. His body settled next to hers as one hand
slipped into her hair while the other traveled down her side to her waist. She moaned and tried to
deepen the kiss, but James broke off and, panting slightly, buried his face in her neck.
 "Nice way to wake up," she whispered in his ear. He gave a low chuckle and the feel of
his breath sent delicious tingles up and down her spine.
 "Missed you," he murmured. Lily closed her eyes and hugged him close.
 "Missed you too," she said.
 They stayed that way for the longest time, until both had slowly drifted off to sleep again.



20. Blood Tryst
---------------



**Chapter 18: Blood Tryst**

Calista sat moodily in front of the fire, wishing the flames could burn away the memories of the
night. She was alone in the Slytherin Common Room, and very thankful no one was here to question
her. She rubbed her left arm and huddled closer to the fire.
 "The pain will stop after a while," a voice said silkily behind her. Severus. *I wish
he would stop doing that.* 
 "Do you?" He was sitting right behind her. He grabbed her arms and pulled her back until
she was leaning against him. Her entire body involuntarily stiffened and she swallowed
nervously.
 "Do I what?" she asked. *Can he hear my thoughts?* Calista received no answer, only
a sly laugh. He began to rub her arms. She forced her body to try and relax. It must have worked,
for Severus laughed again.
 "Good girl," he purred in her ear. "You know what comes next, don't
you?"
 She did. It was expected of her now. Severus was becoming very close to the Master, not as close
as Lucius, but still . . . obeying was the only thing that could save her now.
 Calista swallowed every inch of pride she had left. She slowly turned until she was facing
Severus. She put her arms around his neck, drew him to her, and pulled him down on top of her in
front of the fire.

**********

It felt like Sirius had been walking for hours. His sense of direction was completely shot. He
did not know if he was heading back towards the castle or traveling deeper into the forest. All he
knew was he was tired, hungry, sore from walking all day and very worried about Sara. The sun was
now directly overhead, sending down its blistering heat.
 *All those romps wi**th James and the others -- you* *think I would know where the
hell I am by now!* Sirius was fast losing patience. He refused to admit he was lost (a Marauder
was never lost) but he had reached the point where he was more than willing to stop and ask someone
for directions. . . if only there was a someone around! 
 He tromped through the brush, hoping he would eventually stumble onto a clue as to where he was.
He saw a break in the trees just ahead and figured that was a good a place as any to head. The
thorny thickets tore at his robes and scratched his face. He was about willing to sell his soul for
a gulp of water. Finally, he broke through the foliage and fell into a small clearing. An odd sight
greeted his eyes: a large ring of stones decorated the center of the clearing, with a large stone
dais placed within the circle. A hoard of birds were hopping and pecking at something lying upon
the dais, but Sirius couldn't tell what it was. That familiar nagging feeling had returned to
his stomach, and combined with the lack of food he was becoming very nauseous. Taking a better look
around the clearing, he saw dozens of birds of every kind perched upon every branch in the
surrounding trees: sparrows and pigeons, swallows, blue jays, owls, crows. And even what looked to
Sirius like a raven. It sent a shiver down Sirius' spine; ravens were not considered to be good
omens by wizard-kind. 
 *All right, Padfoot old boy, time to rock and roll. Let's just boogie on out of here shall
we? Unless you feel like making a cameo in Alfred Hitchcock's latest movie.* Yes, leaving
was the best idea. So Sirius slowly crept farther into the clearing until he was right next to the
dais itself. *Doofus.* The rustle of birds shifted a bit, and Sirius could now see what lay
upon the dais.
 Sirius' scream of horror sent the cloud of birds fluttering into the air. 

 *******************


 Calista didn't bother to dress; she just wrapped her cloak around her and shot out of the
common room, leaving Severus to sort out his own garments. She bolted for the showers as fast as
she could.
 She locked the door behind her. When steam filled the entire bathroom, she tossed off her robe and
leapt under the scalding water. She grabbed the nearest bar of soap and scrubbed every inch of her
skin she could reach. Then, she lathered her hands and soaped her hair. Salty tears mingled with
soapy water running down her face. She attacked her body with the bar of soap again. Her skin was
red from the ceaseless rubbing.
 Is this what her life had been reduced to? Letting the slimiest creatures she had ever encountered
touch her just to stay alive and in the good graces of a Master she hated? They must know how she
felt about all this; hell, Severus with his freaky Jedi mind tricks. . . of course he knew. The
version of hell that had become her life in the past 48 hours was just a game to him. To all of
them. And to think, she had thought them her friends.
 Calista didn't realize she was sobbing until she sank to the floor and lay curled up in a
fetal position, letting the hard jet of water spray her body. There she stayed until the steam
dried her tears, until heat turned to icy cold. Cold was good. It matched what was left of her
heart.



21. Sara Brown
--------------



*A/N: Yeah I know. Two chapters in 20 minutes and everyone is just going `woohoo!' I just
felt like giving everyone a bit more than usual. Mostly because the beginning is all over and now
we're getting to the good stuff. Please remember: the more feedback I get, the better! Thanks
everyone!*

**Chapter 19: Sara Brown**

Lily opened her eyes and stretched her arms over her head. *Way to sleep the day away,
Lily-girl.* She looked over and saw the sleeping James lying next to her. Lily smiled and agreed
with herself. This was definitely a good way to spend the day.
 Lily looked out the window and saw a cloud of birds emerge from the midst of the Forbidden Forest.
*There's so many. . .* Something nagged at the back of her mind and she sat up, intending
to walk over to the window for a better look. Bad idea. The second she sat up, her bruised ribs
hollered at her and she hissed in pain, grabbing her side.
 *James must have psychic abilities* she decided, for he was awake in an instant. 
 "What is it? What's wrong?" he asked very quickly. Lily smiled and took his arm as
he helped her sit back against the headboard.
 "Nothing. I just sat up to fast, that's all," she said while trying very hard not to
wince. She looked out the window again. Birds were circling everywhere.
 "James, do you see..." She gestured out the window. James gave the birds an unconcerned
glance and turned back to her.
 "They're just birds, Lil." The use of her nickname made her smile. James gave a
small sigh of relief.
 "That's my girl," he said happily. Their smiles faltered momentarily as a chill
swept the room, but it was gone in seconds.
 "I still can't believe you're here," Lily said shyly. Her hands fiddled with a
loose thread on the coverlet. "I thought that after everything that happened before, you'd
never----I mean, you wouldn't want---" Lily stopped, unsure how to finish.
 James cupped her chin and tilted her face towards his. "I love you."
 Lily felt she would burst from the happiness. "I love you too." She leaned into him and
tasted his lips.
 James felt dizzy. It was that wonderful kind of dizzy, the sort where as a child you would put
your arms out and spin and spin and spin until you fell over laughing. The difference was that with
Lily, he knew he would never fall.

 *******************************

 Sirius ran and ran, not knowing or caring where he was going. All he saw in front of his eyes was
that horrible vision on the dais. . . 
 He burst through a line of trees and there it was! Hogwarts! The castle had never seemed more
beautiful than it did right this second. Sirius swore he heard strains of the Hallelujah Chorus
drifting down from the heavens and very nearly started singing along.
 He bolted for Dumbledore's office. He knew the way there by heart. How many times had he and
James been sent up there before detention? Sirius knew Dumbledore could fix anything. He just
didn't know if Dumbledore could fix *this*.

He reached the stone gargoyle that led to Dumbledore's office. He then realized he
didn't know the stinking password! He gave it a couple of halfhearted shoves but it naturally
didn't do anything.
 "I don't suppose if I just said please, you'd budge over, would you?" he asked.
The gargoyle sprang up and jumped to the side, revealing the spiral staircase. Sirius blinked in
complete surprise.
 "Bitchin'." He made to go up the staircase but Dumbledore appeared in the entryway
before he could.
 "Cool. Delivery service," Sirius said hysterically. Dumbledore took in his ragged
appearance and grabbed Sirius' arm.
 "Where is she," the headmaster asked in a cool voice. Sirius looked up into the wizened
old face and felt a sense of relief wash over him. *He knew.* 
 "I-in the forest," Sirius blurted. "There was a clearing, with stones. . . S-Sara.
. ." Sirius was unable to finish. 
 Dumbledore gave Sirius a sharp glance. "Who else was there besides Miss Brown?"
 "No one." Sirius looked at Dumbledore in surprise.
 "Could you tell what happened?"
 "No," Sirius said. "There was too much blood. . ." Too his surprise, he found
tears stinging his eyes.
 "So Sara Brown is dead then." It wasn't a question. Sirius nodded anyway and felt
his throat choke up. How on earth was he going to tell Lily?
 "Wait for me in my office, Sirius," Dumbledore said quietly. He guided Sirius toward the
moving spiral staircase. They heard a shuffle and both heads whipped around to see a scrawny figure
scurrying away from them.
 "Who-" Sirius started to ask but Dumbledore cut him off sharply.
 "Upstairs Sirius. Now.'' Dumbledore swept off in the direction the figure had gone,
apparently following the damp trail of water said figure had left behind.
 Sirius gazed at the retreating Headmaster's back for a long moment, then wearily stepped onto
the stone steps and let the staircase take him slowly upward.

***********

The raven watched as Dumbledore walked slowly into the clearing, staring at the circle of stones
that was once again covered in birds. He waved his hand and instantly the other birds flew back and
rested in the trees, watching. The raven's eyes followed him, calculating, and waiting. He
walked slowly toward the ring of stones, and the dais where Sara Brown lay. 
 Sirius had been right, there was blood everywhere. Much of it had come from the birds pecking at
Sara's body, but she had been dead long before their arrival. The bits of skin he could see
were pale with tints of blue to match her cold lips. Her eyes were open, glazed over and seeing
nothing. The look on her face brought tears to Dumbledore's eyes. 
 The raven watched as Dumbledore removed his cloak and wrapped it around the girl's naked
corpse. The thin old man had surprising strength; he actually lifted the body and left the
clearing, carrying her. 
 The raven spread his wings and flew quickly overhead. He swept into an open window -the hospital
wing- and landed high in the rafters, unnoticed. He observed the scene below him, the couple
kissing. How sweet. But look closer. . . the girl was the redhead his master coveted so. The
raven's dark eyes glittered. He knew Dumbledore was bringing the other girl here. Now was not
the time for his master to approach the girl. Tonight, maybe, when the world would sleep. Yes,
night was always better for such things. Meanwhile, the raven would wait. . . and watch. . . .
.

*******

Lily broke off the kiss and buried her face in James' shoulder. He wrapped his arms around
her and gently tangled his fingers in her hair.
 "This is the nicest part of fighting," James murmured.
 "What are you talking about?" Lily asked.
 "Make-up sex," he grinned.
 "Oh you!" Lily gave him a half-hearted swat on his arms, which James milked to the
extreme by clutching his arm and collapsing on the bed. Lily rolled her eyes and bit her cheeks to
keep from laughing. James rolled around on mock pain for a few moments, the opened one eyes to
sneak a peak at Lily.
 "Nothin, huh?"
 "Oh, you poor baby," Lily monotoned. "Here, let me help you. I'll sit here, you
make a fool of yourself, life marches on."
 "Isn't it great to have a routine?"
 "You're such a half-wit!"
 "And you're just now realizing this?! Lil' I thought you were smarter than
that!"
 **WHACK** James commenced rolling around again, this time clutching his other arm.
 "Ow! My eye!" he cried. Lily burst out in fits of giggles. 
 "Git!" Lily laughed. James sat up next to her and gave her the sexiest grin she'd
ever seen.
 "And you love me for it, right babe?" he smirked. Lily pointed a serious finger in his
face.
 "Never. Call. Me. Babe." James eyed the finger warily for a moment, then tried to bite
it. Lily jerked her finger back just in time.
 "Hey!" Both of them laughing, James pulled her into a bear hug. Lily nestled her head
under his chin as they settled back against the headboard. After a few moments of comfortable
silence, Lily stirred.
 "Much as I hate to break the mood--"
 "Uh-oh", James muttered.
 "This is serious." Lily pulled away and straightened up, looking James determinedly in
the eye. He realized she had something to talk about and gave her his full attention.
 "Go ahead," he encouraged.
 Lily took a deep breath and plunged. "Sirius." James' jaw clenched slightly, but he
merely nodded his head. He didn't say anything, so Lily ventured further.
 "If you can forgive me, don't you think you should at least try to forgive him?"
Lily spoke softly, not sure if James would explode or not. James heaved a great sigh.
 "Is it that important to you?" he asked.
 "It should be important to you," Lily emphasized. "I thought he was practically
your brother." James felt his anger swell again.
 "He-"
 "Let his emotions get the better of him," Lily finished. "Something that happens to
everyone. That doesn't change his loyalty to you."
 James let her words sink in for a moment. Lily saw his face soften and leaned in until her
forehead rested against his. She ran a hand through his hair and rested it on the side of his
face.
 "Talk to him," she whispered. James brought his hands up and cupped her face. She knew
by his eyes that he would try talking to Sirius. Lily felt the last weight life off her soul.
 "Oh, Lil'," he whispered. Before their lips could meet, the doors of the hospital
wing creaked open. The both turned to the horrible sight in the doorway.
 "Sara!" Lily cried. She tried to stand but the pain returned full strength and she
collapsed back into James' arms.
 Albus Dumbledore stood in the doorway, Sara in his arms. She was wrapped in a cloak, but one of
her hands had fallen and was bleeding, the blood sprinkling the stone floor below.
 "Oh my God," James whispered. Madame Pomfrey had come to the door of her office and
stood with one hand on the door frame to steady herself. The other covered her mouth in
horror.
 Dumbledore walked to the nearest bed and slowly laid Sara upon it. He took a blanket from the foot
of the bed and draped it across Sara, covering her face. He pulled the curtains around the bed,
shutting Sara from their view. 
 "No, no, nonononono," Lily sobbed. James pulled her into his arms and she cried her
tears into his shoulder. Dumbledore crossed to them and gently put a hand on Lily's shoulder.
She turned her tear-stained face to the Headmaster's own mournful one.
 "I'm so sorry, Miss Evans," he said softly. "I know she was your great
friend."
 "I-I don't understand," Lily cried. "Sara was such a good person! Who in their
right mind would do-"
 "Ah, well, there you have it," Dumbledore said. "I highly hope that this person, or
persons, were not in their right mind. For if they were then I have been sadly neglect in my duties
as Headmaster."
 "You don't actually think a student did this?" James was aghast at the very thought.
*How could one of their own-* The notion made James shudder.
 "I wish I could say," Dumbledore said. "Unfortunately, there are other pressing
matters I must attend to. If you will excuse me, Mr. Black is waiting for me in my office. I must
return to him for now." Dumbledore stood to go.
 "Sirius?!" James said sharply. "What's he got to do with any of
this?"
 Dumbledore gave James a very grave look. "He's the one who found Miss Brown." 
 James stared open mouth at the Headmaster for a moment, then leapt to his feet. "I'm
going with you." 
 Dumbledore gave James an appraising look, then nodded. He turned to Madame Pomfrey and spoke in a
whisper. "She will need to be. . . examined." Madame Pomfrey looked ill, but
nodded.
 Most unfortunately, Lily heard him and whimpered. She knew what examined meant. James turned to
her with a horrified look on his face. 
 "Lily-girl. . . " Lily swallowed and looked him bravely in the eye.
 "Go," she said firmly. James looked at her a moment, then kissed her. She clung to him;
she didn't want him to go but Sirius needed him now. She pulled away.
 "Go," she said again. She pushed him lightly to get him going, otherwise she would make
sure he never left her side again. James lingered, grasping her hand. She gave him a wink and
nodded toward the door where Dumbledore now waited. James smiled, kissed her hand briefly, then
turned and strode over to Dumbledore. They left together, closing the doors behind them.
 Madame Pomfrey pulled back the curtains surrounding Sara. She magiked wheels onto the legs of the
bed.
 "If you need anything," she said shakily, "I'll be in the room at the end of
the hall. . ." she couldn't finish the sentence. Lily nodded, fresh tears running down her
face. Madame Pomfrey wheeled the bed down to a small door and disappeared behind it. Lily heard the
small lock click into place. She was alone in the hospital wing now.
 *Sara!* Lily buried her face into her pillow and let the sorrow wash over her.

 *******

 The raven watched and timed it perfectly. She was alone now. Master could claim his wish. He flew
from his perch in the rafters and soared out the window. He didn't have to go far. .
.



22. The First Sacrifice
-----------------------



A/N: The feedback I'm getting is great! Thanks everyone! Yes, its gotten a little dark and
disturbing, but that is what I write best. ;)

**Chapter 20: The First Sacrifice**

Severus strolled smugly out of the school and into the bright sunshine. There was a gleam of
light to his right; the sunlight was reflecting off of Lucius' white blonde hair. He was
sitting with Bellatrix on a stone bench in the gardens. 
 They looked up as Severus approached. 
 "Where have you been?" Bellatrix demanded.
 "Sorry," Severus smiled. "An opportunity rose up that I couldn't
ignore."
 Lucius understood instantly what he meant and raised his eyebrows at Severus. Severus just smiled.
Bellatrix looked between the two, confused. 
 "Hello?!" she shot at them. "Someone care to fill me in?"
 "Later," Lucius said. His attention was directed toward the sky. They turned and saw a
raven flying toward them. Inky black, it was a small shadow against the sunset-filled sky. It
soared down and perched gently on Lucius' shoulder.
 "When did you get a raven?" Severus asked.
 "A gift from the Master," Lucius said smugly. "Just in case the rat turns sides
again, we need something a bit more reliable anyway for spying." Lucius stroked the
raven's glistening black wing. It ruffled its feathers and leaned into Lucius' ear.
 Severus and Bellatrix gave each other a look. Lucius looked as if he was actually listening to the
bird. But that was ridiculous, birds couldn't talk. . . 
 "Excellent," Lucius said as he straightened up again. He turned to Bellatrix.
"Imperio!" Her eyes glazed over instantly. Severus merely looked on in surprise. He gave
Lucius a questioning glance.
 "I don't feel like being interrupted this time," Lucius responded to the unspoken
question. "Watch her." He stood to leave.
 "Oh and one more thing," he turned back to Severus," CALISTA?!"
 "You get your pleasure how you will and I'll do the same," Severus said softly. He
and Lucius shared a look of understanding as Lucius disappeared in the direction of the hospital
wing.

*****

Peter was walking alone around the grounds. Had anyone noticed him, they would have seen he was
much more fidgety than normal, even for Peter. He was also very pale and his stutter had increased
to monumental proportions lately. But no one noticed Peter Pettigrew. That was the problem. Lauren
O'Henry hadn't noticed him, even his fellow Marauders never really noticed him. Then the
voice had come.
 Oh, it had promised him wonderful things. Glory . . . power . . . the attention he had craved all
his life. It had said it could make him, not as good as, but even better than James and Sirius. The
thought of what could be filled him with a feverish desire to please. For two years now the voice
had poisoned his mind, warped his senses, and twisted his loyalties. For the voice in his head was
cunning and shrewd. It knew things. . . the Master knew things. For the voice in his head was that
of the Master.
 Peter shivered. He was loyal to the Master, but he sometimes missed the old days, the days before
the voice had come. When he had no worries larger than how to get Lauren O'Henry to talk to
him. Now. . . well, things had changed. Peter was amazed no one had found him out yet, but then
again, who would notice short, fat, squeaky little Peter? Master was right, it was perfect. 
 A pair of dirty hands reached out, unseen and grabbed Peter. His mouth covered, Peter was dragged
into the shadows of the greenhouses.

******

Calista ran all the way into her room and slammed the door behind her. She bolted the lock so
the other girls couldn't get in; she needed some alone time.
 She brushed her tangled hair out of her face. She was still damp from the shower, leaving a trail
of water behind her. She sank onto her bed and buried her face in her pillow. Seeing Dumbledore and
Sirius together had jarred her senses. *What if Sirius remembers? Dumbledore is a powerful
wizard, what if he removes the Memory Charm?!* The memories of that night came unbidden to
Calista's mind. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block them out but they came on. . .


 *Lucius and the others had dragged her deep into the forest. They came to a small clearing which
held a ring of stone. In these stones was a large dais. Bellatrix, Severus, Rodolphus, Lucius and
Rabastan took their places around the dais.* ** *"Here," Lucius tossed
her a large, hooded black robe, "put this on and stand next to Severus."***
*"What is going on?" she asked.*** *"You are about to make a
choice that will change your life. Or end it, depending on what you choose to
do."*** *Calista gulped. This was not good. She heard a squeaking noise behind
her and turned.*** *"Ah," Rodolphus said. "Right on
time."*** *The sight was bewildering: Sirius Black and Sara Brown were
floating towards her. It looked like they were both sleeping, then they passed more fully into the
moonlight and she saw the bite marks that covered their bodies. Behind them, Peter Pettigrew
emerged, wand out and pulling on his own black robe. Wait--Peter Pettigrew?! He was a Gryffindor
and Sirius. . .*** *The source of the squeaking noise was a large swarm of rats
milling about beneath the lolling bodies of Sara and Sirius. She swallowed the bile she felt rise
to her throat. This was definitely not good.*** *The girl," a high, cold voice
said behind her. Calista turned and stared at a tall figure that had materialized out of nowhere.
Dressed in robes very similar to the ones she and the others now wore, the only difference was the
red rune designs drawn on the hem of this man's robes. She couldn't see his face, his hood
was drawn. All she could see of him was his hands, long and white.* ** *She was
confused; Apparition wasn't possible on the Hogwarts grounds! So where. . .* **
*"Shhh," Severus whispered to her. He pointed at the space next to him and glared at
her. She reluctantly obeyed; following orders was apparently going to keep her in one piece.*
** *"SO, we have a new face, do we?" the tall figure said. He approached her
and reached out one white, spider-like hand towards her. She shrank back.***
*"Seems a bit too timid, don't you think?" he asked Severus.***
*"I beg pardon, Master. She knows too much." The response came from Lucius. She saw him
bow his head to the tall figure. Master? "She is weak, and expendable." Oh,
crap.*** *"We'll see." The figure approached her once again and
reached out a hand. She looked up into the darkness that was his face and beheld two glowing eyes,
red as blood and bright as flame. She felt like fainting, but was determined to stand her ground.
If these were to be her last moments, she would not have them by lying on the
ground.*** *The figure laughed softly; clearly, he could hear her thoughts. She
ticked a glance at Severus.*** *"Yes, Severus and I do have that in
common," the figure said softly. "Lord Voldemort expects nothing but the best in his
followers."*** *Voldemort. The name sent chills down her spine, but she
squared her chin bravely.*** *"So why is Pettigrew here then?" she said
defiantly. The figure laughed, Bellatrix smothered a giggle and Severus smirked at her. She felt
his appreciation and it made her want to vomit.*** *"Wormtail serves his
purpose," said Voldemort. "The girl, Wormtail." Peter directed Sara's body until
she was resting on the dais. He then led Sirius body away from the circle and conjured thick robes
that tied him to a tree. Peter then took his place between Lucius and Rabastan.***
*"You have two options my dear." She realized Voldemort was speaking to her. "Join
me, and serve reluctantly but faithfully. Or say your goodbyes now. I have worked too hard to have
my plans ruined by a child."*** *She bristled, she was no child! He saw.
"Good. Very good," he spoke softly. "Come." He gestured to her and she followed
him until she was standing next to the dais. Voldemort stood behind her and began to
speak.*** *"Join the path of the ones most noble. Pure-bloods, the true
strength of wizard-kind. Let us free ourselves from Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers! Let us gather as
one and purge the world of those unworthy to claim the name wizard."*** *The
others were chanting lowly, she couldn't make out the words. She looked around and saw
Bellatrix, her eyes glowing with excitement. Lucius had his eyes glued to the dais. Rodolphus and
Rabastan were nearly jumping on the spot. Peter had his eyes closed tight while he muttered. He
looked as terrified as she felt. Severus had his eyes on her again. She felt
dirty.*** *"Do not deny Severus," Voldemort spoke quietly in her ear.
"Nor any of them, lest I be displeased. They were my firsts here. You have an age to go before
I grant you the same as I do them." She nodded, unable to speak.*** *She
looked back down at the dais. Sara was beginning to stir.*** *Something hard and
cold was pressed into her hand. A long, thin, dagger with the jeweled handle of a
serpent.*** *"To join, there must be a willingness to obey" Voldemort
said. She looked at him uncomprehending.* ** *"Everything comes with a price.
We must make sacrifices." He put an emphasis on the last word and she understood. No. . .*
** *"You or her. Choose."*** *She looked down at Sara, whose
eyes were beginning to flutter. She couldn't do this, she wanted to be away from here, snug in
her bed, anywhere! Not here, lifting the knife over her head. No, no, no. . .***
*It was like time slowed down. She saw the people around her, eyes gleaming. They weren't
people, they were monsters, and she with them now. She saw the rats guarding Sirius, biting and
clawing still. Blood was pouring down him like rain. There was a raven perched on a branch above
him, was it watching her? The Master was close enough behind her she could feel his breath on her
neck like a winter's chill.*** *"You or her."*** *She
looked. She didn't want to, but it was her or Sara. She gripped the knife handle, high above
her head. Sara's eyes popped open and stared directly into hers. The knife came down.*

 Calista bit her pillow to hide the scream. No, no, no, no, no. . .



23. The Darkness of Anger
-------------------------



**Chapter 21:** **The Darkness of Anger**

Lily sobbed into her pillow. *I should have gone with her from the lake. Would have saved me
some troubles too.* She felt instant remorse at her selfish thoughts. Sara's death was not
the time to bark!! about her own troubles. Her best friend was gone forever, and the worst part was
she hadn't been there to help.
 She just couldn't believe that Sara wouldn't be around to play pranks on the Kings of
Pranks themselves, James and Co. Even though her pranks had never worked, she still tried. Sara had
never given up on anything. It was something Lily had admired about her.
 Memories of Sara ran through her head: Sara bursting in on her reading on the train and
introducing herself by asking Lily if she wanted her to style her hair. . . holding her hand while
they waited to be sorted into their Houses, then cheering when they both made Gryffindor. . .
stealing candy from Honeydukes for them to eat during midnight study sessions. . . watching movies
over the summer. . . . . . helping Lily cheat at chess so she could beat Petunia for a change. . .
. . drooling over Sirius. . . . letting Lily cry when Petunia made fun of her again. . . . .showing
up this year with her blonde hair ridiculously streaked with red and black. . . .cheering and
laughing about James Potter. 
 And now Sara was nothing but a lifeless body being "examined" by Madame Pomfrey. Lily
cried harder at the thought of her best friend being cut up and looked at like she had been
nothing. She'd been a person! Sara wasn't something to be examined and poked at! This was
the worst feeling ever, worse than hearing Petunia taunt her and taunt her until she finally broke
and cried. Worse than seeing James' face after she and Sirius had kissed. Even worse than how
she felt after running away from Malfoy at the lake. She was dying herself, slowly, from the inside
out.

 ***************

 Peter struggled against his captor, but whoever was holding him was exceptionally strong. They had
him about his face and chest, pinning his arms against his sides.
 The shadows by the greenhouses were long, the area deserted. No one would see them.
 "You son of a bitch!!." The voice spoke harsh, but Peter knew it instantly. His
captor's arms finally released him and Peter spun around to face a very angry Remus Lupin,
silhouetted against the dusky red sky of sunset.

 **************

 Lily finally rolled over and faced the ceiling, letting the last of her tears roll down her
cheeks. She felt puffy-faced from all the crying she had done recently. She lay back against the
pillows, one hand by her face, as she stared morosely about. Time had flown, it was once again
sunset.
 She heard the doors open and she closed her eyes, feigning sleep. *Go away, whoever you are. I
don't care, just let me sleep.* She heard a click, then a clinking rustle of what sounded
like. . . *Chains?* 
 Lily opened her eyes. She was facing the end of the hall and saw that heavy silver chains
crisscrossed the door where Madame Pomfrey had disappeared with Sara's body, locking her in the
little room. Lily turned her head. Lucius Malfoy was standing by the now-locked doors leading from
the outside. They were alone together, trapped. The look in his eyes was very familiar and Lily
felt the fear return as he began to move towards her.

************

Dumbledore and James walked quickly through the halls, not paying any heed to the hails of
students and staff as they passed. He hadn't said so, but James felt a sense of urgency from
Dumbledore, like they were the last pieces of sand in an hourglass about to fall. 
 The sky burned in hues of pink and orange above them. Sunset was upon the world again. It amazed
James. His personal world was collapsing, yet nature spun as normal. He stopped suddenly as a
thought occurred to him. *Moony.* "Damnit," he muttered. 
 James realized Dumbledore was looking at him. "Sorry," he muttered. "It's just
that--"
 "Yes, I'm aware your thoughts are with Mr. Lupin. Unfortunately, we don't have the
time to worry about that right now."
 James hesitated. He had a feeling. . . Dumbledore gave him a kind look.
 "Remus will be alright," he said softly. "Come if you're coming."
 James nodded and followed once more. He took one more glance at the sun. The last of the burning
red disk was barely visible above the mountain tops.

 ***************

 "You son of a bitch," Remus said again. He shoved Peter against the greenhouse so hard
the glass shook. Peter's eyes darted about, trying to find an escape route. The fury in
Remus' eyes was burning fire and in the last light of the sun they glowed red, just like. . .

 "W-w-w-what ar-re you t-t-t-t-t-t-t-talk-king ab-b-bout, R-Remus?" His usual mild
stutter was almost out of control. 
 "I saw you," Remus hissed. His voice lashed at Peter like the crack of a whip.
 "S-s-saw m-m-m-m-me w-where? I-I've been here all d-d-day-"
 "Last night. In the woods. With all your slithery friends. You bloody traitor!" Remus
advanced on him slowly. His hands were balled into fists and he was shaking with anger.
 Peter's eyes widened as he realized that Remus must have been loose on the grounds and had
stumbled upon the horrible ceremony in the clearing.
 Remus grabbed Peter by his throat. "How could you?!" he growled. "Sara was an
innocent--" Remus put his head down and began to shake even harder.
 Peter tried to choke out Remus' name but Peter couldn't breathe, his throat was being
squeezed so tight. Fingernails were digging into Peter's throat; he felt blood trickling down
his neck. *Remus doesn't have long fingernails. . .* 
 Peter glanced at the dark sky. The sun was gone. The hair on Remus' hands itched Peter's
skin. Fear increased as Peter realized Remus wasn't shaking from anger. He was shaking because.
. . 
 Remus raised his head to the sky and let out an earth-shattering howl. Peter was trapped with a 9
foot tall, hungry, pissed off werewolf.



24. Attack in the Night
-----------------------



**A/N:** *OK, this is the part where I had to do some extreme editing for Portkey. I extend
my apologies, but it simply couldn't be helped. I did my best to make the following chapter as
coherent as possible.* *The editing is what took me so long: trying to take parts out was
killer to me. This is my baby, after all. But I managed it, so here it is. I made it a bit longer
than I normally do since it's been so long between updates.*

*Remember, I finished writing this story in January, and on other sites I've already
finished posting it. Portkey is a late discovery of mine however (thanks Michie!) so we're only
about halfway through it. We have so many more chapters to go before we reach the end, so never
fret! There is much much more to come, and I appreciate all comments. The more feedback I get, the
better. My thanks to all of you. :)Enough of me talking, lets get to the good stuff!*

**Chapter 22: Attack in the Night**

The halls were very dark. James and Dumbledore reached the stone gargoyle that hid the entrance
to Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore opened his mouth to give the password when an unearthly howl
split the air. Both men whipped around to scan over the Hogwarts' grounds. That was a very
familiar howl, and much louder than it normally was. They both knew instantly what it meant.
 "Oh my god," James whispered. 

 ***************

 Sirius felt like he'd been sitting in the dark for ages, with his head in his hands, in the
comfortable armchair in Dumbledore's office. He saw nothing, he heard nothing. His mind ached
with the turmoil of the past weeks, especially the past few hours. Lost in the woods, then finding
Sara like he had . . . and he didn't even have Prongs, Moony, and Wormtail anymore to help him
get through this. He'd never felt so lost and alone in his life. 
 Surely, life at seventeen wasn't supposed to be this hard! He'd thought all he had to
worry about was finishing school and surviving N.E.W.T.'s. Was this adulthood, then? This
massive tangled web of lies and deceit, trials and tribulations, and horror after horror? If this
was what it was to be grown up, then he sorely wished Peter Pan would fly in the window and take
him far, far way to NeverNeverLand, just like in the children's books. Screw adulthood and all
the shit that came along with it.
 Oh, how he yearned for a Time Turner. To be able to go back and do things over again. If he could
change things, maybe . . . . . but why go back? What was the point of it all?
 Sirius had gone through much in the past weeks. He'd experienced joy, desire, love, regret,
sorrow, pity, fear, and anger. Just about every human emotion possible, he'd felt it. Now, at
the final moment, he found himself on the brink of despair, with no way out.

***************

Peter knew he had one chance of escape. If the wolf's claws didn't squeeze the life out
of him, his jaws would tear him to pieces.
 He transformed into the creature he'd become inside and out. In rat form, he fell to the
ground and wriggled into the greenhouse through a small hole between glass and the iron frame. The
werewolf's claws slammed hopelessly against glass, missing Wormtail by inches. 
 Wormtail scuttled under the tables lined with pots of Mandrakes. Once safely inside and a good
distance away from the glass walls, he returned to his simpering human form.
 Remus banged repeatedly against the glass when he saw him (Peter) standing by the tables. Peter
rushed over and locked the door. *Phew! I'm inside, he's out. He'll wander away
eventually.*
 An ominous silence fell. Peter turned to look; Remus had gone. Peter cautiously tiptoes back over
to where he'd been. He didn't see the wolf anywhere. He leaned over the table and looked as
hard as he could in both directions. It was very dark now, but he didn't see anything anywhere.
Peter sighed in relief. *Safe.*
 Peter jerked back and hit the ground just in time. The glass wall gave way under the weight of the
enormous werewolf as Remus jumped through with a snarl. Glass shards fell over Peter as Remus
landed on the table with a thud and howled in triumph, drowning out Peter's screams.

*******************

Lily opened her eyes. She was facing the end of the hall and saw that heavy silver chains
crisscrossed the door where Madame Pomfrey had disappeared with Sara's body, locking her in the
little room. Lily turned her head. Lucius Malfoy was standing by the now-locked doors leading from
the outside. They were alone together, trapped. The look in his eyes was very familiar and Lily
felt the fear return as he began to move towards her.
 Lily rolled over and off the bed, away from Lucius. The full extent of her injuries was made known
to her at that moment and she collapsed on the floor, writhing in pain. She heard his footsteps
growing nearer and frantically tried to crawl to safety. 
 Harsh hands grabbed her hair and pulled her roughly to her feet. She gasped as the muscles in her
legs gave out. She was now being held up only by Lucius' firm grasp. Her eyes watered in pain
as Lucius' forced her head back until she was looking in his cold eyes.
 "This time is for everything,” he hissed.

****************

*This is it. Goodbye, cruel world.* Under normal circumstances, Peter's dramatics would
have seemed ridiculous as usual, but in this instance he wasn't far off. Peter opened his eyes
to see the cold, snarling face of the wolf bearing down on him, his snout mere inches from
Peter's nose. Vicious eyes gleamed as the lips drew back to reveal sharp, glistening teeth.
Spittle drooled onto Peter's face.
 Remus was seconds from tearing apart Peter's chubby face. Peter whimpered and squeezed his
eyes shut, waiting for the moment those razor-like teeth would rip into his skin. It never
came.
 There were noises in the darkness, a crash. Peter heard what sounded like a whimper from Remus,
then a thud. The werewolf's hot breath was no longer blowing in his face. Peter chanced a peek
with one eye. The table Remus had been on was overturned. The wolf was on his side, breathing deep.
His eyes were closed.
 Peter turned and saw Dumbledore and James striding over to them.
 "Wormtail! Are you all right?" James stretched a hand out and helped Peter to his
feet.
 "Yeah," Peter gasped. "I'm fine. Maybe. I think my heart's gone and run off
on me, did you happen to see it around anywhere?"
 James gave a shaky laugh. The sight of the huge wolf bearing down on tiny Peter had been
terrifying. They looked over to where Dumbledore was leaning over the apparently unconscious
wolf.
 "Is he--"
 "He'll be all right," Dumbledore said. He enchanted the wolf to float in the air,
much like Peter had done, unbeknownst to the others, to his fellow students last night.
"I'll take him to the Shrieking Shack. Go to my office, both of you," Dumbledore
ordered. His gaze fell on James, who nodded, and on Peter, whose insides were squirming.
 "I promise you, Remus will be fine," Dumbledore said softly. "Now go."
 *Damn**. You couldn't have finished him off for me* Peter thought savagely. James,
completely unaware of Peter's thoughts, put what he thought was a comforting arm around
Peter.
 "We heard the howls and came running," James said. "You sure you're all right,
mate?"
 Peter nodded, his eyes on the retreating figures, shadows in the dark now. He had a huge problem
to fix now. Lucius was going to kill him for this.
 "C'mon, let's get out of here," James said. "Sirius is waiting for us in
Dumbledore's office." Peter snapped to attention.
 *Sirius! Shit! What if he . . . dear god.* Peter was near frantic. This could mean very big
trouble.
 "You should never have been out here, Pete," James said. "What if Dumbledore and I
hadn't come along? You'd be werewolf food by now, my friend."
 "I can take care of myself," Peter shot angrily. James quickly removed his arm from
Peter as though he'd been shot.
 "All right, don't get mad at me," James said, stung.
 "I-I. . . sorry, Prongs." Peter changed tacks swiftly; it wouldn't do for his true
feelings to emerge. "I'm just a bit frazzled, I suppose."
 "Sure, Wormtail, who wouldn't be?" James' voice told Peter all was not quite
forgiven, but it didn't matter. Damage control had to be done about Sirius, and fast.

 *Calista plunged the knife straight into Sara's heart. Sara's eyes opened wide and her
scream echoed through the trees. She was not the only one.* ** *Peter turned,
hearing another voice ring with Sara's. Sirius was awake, though bound and gagged as he was,
his cry didn't have the effect as Sara's did. But the look on his face was no less
terrified. Sirius' eyes left the dais and scanned the faces of the people surrounding it. His
eyes locked with Peter's. His stomach squiggled inside him, but he did not look
away.*** *A thousand emotions seemed to gleam in Sirius' eyes: shock, hurt,
reproachful ness, fear. 'Yeah, so what?' Peter thought. 'I'm not so little anymore
no am I?'*** *Peter turned away and refocused his attention to the dais. Sara
was squirming under the knife, crying out in pain for someone to help. Calista wrenched the knife
from the girl's chest, raised it high and brought it swiftly down again, this time into
Sara's abdomen. Over and over Calista repeated the ritual, seeming fueled by an unknown fire
inside her.*** *Peter heard heavy breathing. He glanced over and saw Severus; his
eyes alight with glee as they focused on Calista's face.*** *'He enjoys
this,' Peter thought. 'Sick.' The other**s* *were just as bad. Bellatrix was
almost dancing with joy, indeed, laughter bubbled from her lips.*** *Only the
hooded figure behind Calista seemed calm. He made no movements, spoke no words. He simply watched
as Calista slashed the life, body and soul of Sara Brown to pieces. Long after the girl's
screams stopped Calista still delivered her blows.* ** *Peter looked down. The rats
he had gathered for the bringing were scampering at the edge of the wave of blood pouring off the
dais. He looked closer. They were licking at the blood with their pointed tongues, squeaking
excitedly. peter felt nauseous.*** *Calista finally stopped. Watching her face, it
seemed she was waking up from a dream. Her eyes focused on the scene around her as she gasped for
breath. The knife fell onto the stone dais with a ringing 'clink' and she stepped away,
looking around her in growing horror. She backed straight into the arms of the shadowy figure
behind her. Startled, she looked into his face.*** *Peter almost felt sorry for
her. He remembered looking into the same face after performing this exact ritual on Lauren
O'Henry two years ago. It was not a pretty sight.*** *"Well done, my dear.
Well done indeed." The sound of his voice still sent chills down Peter's spine. Voldemort
stretched out one long finger and brushed Calista's left arm. Suddenly, it clamped on her
forearm with what Peter knew to be surprising strength. Smoke filtered out from beneath those
skeletal fingers as a hissing sound filled the air. Calista was the one screaming this time, trying
to wrench herself free from Voldemort's grasp.*** *It was over soon, and he let
Calista go. She slumped on the ground, clutching her arm and sobbing."***
*Voldemort's hood turned in the direction of Severus.* ** *"Teach
her," he said. Severus nodded, a lewd smirk on his face.*** *In a wisp of
smoke, Voldemort had vanished. A raven flew high into the air. As its wings flapped, one feather
floated gently down and landed near Lucius.*** *As the others turned to Sirius,
Peter heard a chirping and glanced at Lucius. Where the feather had fallen, a small featherless
baby bird now lay. No, not featherless. It was changing before Peter's eyes, feathers sprouting
from its pink skin, growing larger every second. Lucius scooped the bird up and placed it gently in
the folds of his robe. He* *winked at P**eter, who could only look back in
awe.*** *A groan brought Peter's attention back to the circle. He turned,
Rodolphus had sucker-punched Sirius in the gut, and the slammed a right hook into his face. Sirius
was knocked out again.*

 "If Sirius remembers anything, I've got big problems," Peter muttered quietly. James
didn't hear. Peter had to ditch him somehow. He needed to find one of *them*, fast.

********************

Calista buried her head into her soggy pillow. Hours of tears had soaked into the cotton, making
it smell like fish, oddly enough, but she didn't care. What were luxuries to her when her life
was a ruin?
 The locked door burst open. She didn't feel like talking. Luckily, the green velvet curtains
that adorned her bed were drawn so no one could see her. She stayed quiet, hoping that whoever it
was would leave her alone.
 Her arm was burning where he'd touched her. Calista pulled up the sleeve of her robe to gaze
upon the black burn the Master had scorched into her skin.
 *The Master. . .* her mind had already forgotten the use of his true name. She was too afraid
to use it.
 "So, you've joined the club." It was the other girl. It was a familiar voice,
Calista screwed up her face trying to place it. It had to be someone close to one of the others;
they obviously knew what was going on. The voice continued, low and velvety soft.
 "Did you kill her then? The Brown girl? Served her right, consorting with Mudbloods and
werewolves and the like."
 Calista's face burned at the mention of Remus. *He's better than all of them
combined.* 
 "You did a good thing, Calista." The last nerve had been struck. Calista tore open the
hangings of her bed.
 "What do you--" she stopped. The girl was sitting at a vanity table, a silver comb
brushing long blonde tresses. Narcissa. Her piercing hazel eyes met Calista's in the
mirror.
 "I'm not one. I will be soon enough.," she smiled. Her smile was beautiful, yet
cold, empty. Sad. It was the smile of one who has no choice but to either live the life that has
been chosen for her, or not live at all.
 "Lucius." Calista said simple. Narcissa merely nodded.
 "Why do it then?" Calista wanted to know. Something in her told her Narcissa was a
kindred spirit, drawn into this life against her will.
 "What choice do I have?" Narcissa was not unkind, but her voice told Calista she was a
simpleton not to have seen the obvious.
 "Why don't you run?" Calista said softly. *If Narcissa can run, maybe. . .*

 Narcissa laughed hollowly and put down her comb. "Run? Where to? Where on earth can I go that
the Blacks will not find me?" There was silence as Calista took that in.
 "And where, too, can you run that the Dark Mark will not follow you?" Narcissa's
velvet voice invaded Calista's ears. She was almost distracted by the musical resonance
Narcissa's voice held, but the words cut deep.
 "Close your heart, Calista, or you will just give them one more thing to destroy. They're
like locusts, destroying everything in their path until there's nothing left to ruin. Only then
will they finish each other. Then, maybe, the world will find peace. Until then, survive. Do what
you have to, cut out whom you must. Caring about anyone will only ruin their life. That's what
we are now." A single tear coursed its way down Calista's cheek. She'd never known
this side of Narcissa; she'd always thought her a younger version of her sister, Bellatrix.
Surely this wasn't to always be her life?
 "We're trapped, you see. Isn't it something to be the pawns in the grand designs of
others?"
 Calista just stared into Narcissa's sad eyes in the mirror.
 They held each other's gaze for moments before Narcissa blinked and broke the connection. She
picked up her brush again, running its fingers through her hair. Now her eyes were cold and hard,
nothing in them but the pure-blood snobbery that was the Black family disease.
 "Live with it."
 A sob choked Calista's throat. "I can't," she whispered. Narcissa met her eyes
again in the mirror and odd expression filled her face. Was it pity?
 Calista watched as she reached into a drawer of her vanity and pulled out a long, thin blood red
leather box. There was silver stitching on it. Narcissa stood and walked over to the bed where
Calista sat. She stood, looking down at the shivering Calista who gazed back with eyes that
glistened with tears.
 "Then do the one thing I haven't the strength to do." Narcissa said softly. She held
out the box to Calista, who took it cautiously and turned it over in her hands.
 "Don't live." Calista looked once at Narcissa's expressionless face, then back
at the box. She opened it and saw: its handle jeweled in tiny emeralds and adorned with the Black
family crest, the pencil thin dagger glistening on silver silk.



25. Rescue and Reunion
----------------------



**A/N**: *Yeah, remember how I said that I made the last chapter kinda long? It ended up
not looking so long on Portkey so here is something to really satisfy you guys! (Hopefully) Again,
major scissors to this chapter, but hopefully you guys still like it.*

**Chapter 23: Rescue and Reunion**

Lily sighed contentedly. She was lying on the grass with James, watching big puffy clouds float
overhead. James had one arm behind his head, the other was circled around Lily, his fingers tracing
small circles on her back. His touch sent delicious tingles throughout her body and she snuggled
closer to him.
 "We can just stay like this forever, right?" she asked him.
 "I wish we could, love." James sounded sad. Why should he be sad? Nothing was wrong with
today.
 "I love it here,” Lily said.
 "I know you do," James replied. "But you have to go back soon."
 "Go where? I don't have to go anywhere," Lily said. James didn't reply to her
but she felt his body tense slightly.
 "Oh, can't we just stay here a while longer?" Lily begged. She really didn't
want to go. "I don't like it there anymore." She looked to her left. A huge, dark,
menacing black mist covered all the land to her left. She could just make out the silhouette of
Hogwarts hidden in the midst of the gloom.
 "Please, James, just a bit longer!" Lily turned back to him. His eyes left the clouds
and found hers. She gave him her best pathetic puppy dog face, knowing he'd never resist
her.
 James sighed. "Just a bit longer," he said. Lily smiled and kissed his cheek, then
nestled into his shoulder again. She looked out at the gleaming lake. The giant squid was floating
dead on the water and all the tentacles had Lucius' face and they were reaching for her. It
didn't matter. James was with her and nothing bad could ever touch her as long as she had
James.
 James could simply ask the squid to leave her alone. Couldn't it see they were happy? The
squid's many legs shot out and wrapped themselves around her legs. It was dragging her toward
the water, but it wasn't water anymore, it's had turned to blood. She didn't want to go
in a lake full of blood, it would make her dirty.
 Why didn't James help her? She turned and reached out for him but James was gone. Lily was
alone. The squid was pulling harder, her legs were in the lake now. She scratched frantically at
the ground but found only sand. It drifted through her fingers and left long welts marking her
path.
 She was into her waist now. Lily could feel the suction cups pulling on her skin, she was
screaming but making no noise -

 Malfoy had put a silencing charm on her. Even though it was over, he still didn't lift it. She
didn't look at him as he put his clothes back on. She just huddled in a fetal position on the
bed, buried her face in the pillow and tried not to cry any more. She was failing miserably. 
 Her entire body ached. She was covered in bruises and welts; he'd been very rough with her.
She hated this feeling, this sickening sensation of being *weak*, being helpless. Without her
wand and her strength, all she'd felt she had left was her dignity and now Malfoy had taken
that too.
 "Not bad for a Mudblood." His harsh tones cut through the mist in her mind like a razor.
Lily lifted her head and stared reproachfully into Malfoy's face. He smirked at her.
 "Aww, don't feel bad, Evans. You're not the best I ever had, but you sure do taste
good." He grabbed her head and licked his tongue up the side of her face while she squirmed
beneath him. 
 Lily wrenched herself out of his grasp while he chuckled softly. It was a vile sound. Lily wanted
to attack him, to hurt him, yet she knew he'd take her again before she could land a single
punch. Her ribs were digging into her lungs. Everything hurt so bad. She scooted up against the bed
post and curled into a ball. *You got what you wanted, you sick freak, now go away.*
 "Look at the poor baby Evans," he mocked. "Oh so sad! Let's put you out of your
misery, shall we?" 
 Lily looked up in fear. Malfoy had pulled out his wand.
 "You honestly didn't think I'd leave you to tattle on me, did you?"
 Lily's crouching form was swallowed up in Lucius Malfoy's shadow as he advanced on her for
the last time.

**********

James spun his head around. He could have sworn he heard someone call his name, but no one was
there. He and Peter were making their way to Dumbledore's office when he'd heard the voice.
It had sounded just like--
 "Lily," James whispered. *How many things can go wrong in one day?* 
 He quickly changed direction and bolted toward the hospital wing.
 "James!" Peter yelled. "Oi, JAMES!" James kept running. Something was horribly
wrong and he had the sinking sensation it was too late.

 **************

 Peter watched James run off. *Whatever.* The fate of Lily Evans meant nothing to him. He
glanced around; there was no one. Slowly, he turned back into the rat form that he was actually
more comfortable in. The fat fur ball scuttled off into the shadows, silent as a whisper. He had
things to do.

**************


 Lily shrank back against the bed as Lucius advanced on her. She had no hope of getting away
without her wand, they both knew it. His eyes twinkled; the sick pervert was enjoying the thought
of having enough power to end her life.
 The tip of Malfoy's wand began to glow with a fierce light as it moved closer to her face..
Lily closed her eyes, surrendering. Giving herself over to the inevitability of death. . . 
 *To a Malfoy?!* Her sister's voice suddenly rang in her mind, taunting her.
 *Some witch you turned out to be. What good are you if you can't even save yourself?*

 Lily's eyes opened, their color suddenly fierce and strong. Before Malfoy could blink, she had
reached out and grasped his wand wrist with a strength she didn't know she had. Lily forced the
wand away from herself, her other hand reached out and clawed at Malfoy's face. Using her
nails, she left deep scratches across his aristocratic features. Lucius grabbed her wrist and
slammed her back onto the bed. Lily used the last of her strength and brought her knee up and into
him. Malfoy released her, doubled over and groaned in pain. Lily rolled out from under him and hit
the floor, crawling under the bed.
 Her muscles were screaming with pain. Black spots were bursting in front of her eyes; she was
about to pass out. She saw Malfoy's expensive shoes hit the floor, and then she saw his knees,
his thighs, his lower torso. Finally his bleeding face appeared, peering under the bed. Lily
slammed his nose with the heel of her palm and heard a satisfying crunch under her hand. Malfoy
shrieked but managed to reach in and grab her arm. He yanked her from under the bed and brought her
to her knees before him.
 "How *dare* you!" he snarled at her. " Do you have any idea what I could do to
you for this?"
 Lily raised her eyes to his face. "What else can you do that you haven't already
done?" she mouthed at him, still unable to speak.
 Lucius roared in rage, he tossed her to the floor and raised his wand.
 "Crucio!" Lily had never felt pain like this. Her skin was being pierced by a thousand
tiny needles, yet there were monsters tearing at her insides, pulling her apart piece by piece. She
wanted to cry and scream for James, Sirius, anybody, but she couldn't do anything but scream
soundlessly, trapped inside a soundproof glass cage no one could feel or see.
 There was a burst of bright white light accompanied by a low rumbling sound. The very floor shook
beneath her. Suddenly the pain was gone. Gasping for breath, Lily opened her eyes to see James
sprint through the broken hangings that had been the entryway doors. He sent a jet of fire out of
his wand towards Lucius, who ducked and spun away.
 Lily couldn't hear what they were saying, there was a loud ringing in her ears that would not
fade. Lucius sent a flare of green light hurtling towards James; it was the Avada Kedavra--Lily
tried to cry out but could not-- but a hand reached out and pulled James out of the way. The
killing curse hit the stone wall, leaving a large scorch mark. Lucius screamed in fury and looked
to see who had pulled James out of the way.
 *Sirius.* 
 Sirius stood by James, his own wand out, eyes blaring. James looked at him briefly; Sirius nodded
and pushed James slightly forward. James grinned and turned to face Malfoy.
 It was two on one. No matter. Lucius could take on two silly Gryffindors.
 James and Sirius walked farther into the room, wands at dueling position. Malfoy raised his own
wand, ready for the fight.
 Black spots were still dancing in front of Lily's eyes, the world was tilting in crazy
directions, but she did her best to keep her eyes open. Those were her boys fighting for her, she
had to stay awake for them. She could hear Madame Pomfrey pounding on the door that held her
captive, but she was still trapped behind the chains. She could do nothing.
 Two more figures appeared in the doorway. Lily almost smiled. Her havoc wreaking twins had come to
play. Autumn and Spike took their positions on either side of Sirius and James and pulled out their
own wands.
 Lucius backed against the wall. Two on one was one thing, but four. . . 
 He made up his mind instantly. Blue circles of fire were sent spinning to the floor, sending
shockwaves throughout the room. The floor and walls shook as in an earthquake, the four Gryffindors
were jolted off their feet. Lucius darted through them and fled out the door. 
 The second he left the room, the shaking ceased. All took deep breaths of relief; Malfoy was
stronger than they had believed. Autumn turned to Lily, saw her trying to speak. Autumn raised her
wand. "Finite."
 Lily's screams echoed through the cavernous room, bouncing off the stone walls and traveling
back to them. James ran to her and knelt by her side. He hesitated; she was hurt in so many places
he was afraid to touch her.
 "Lily. . . oh god Lily. . ." James felt helpless. He didn't know what to do for her.
A tap on his shoulder, Spike had unfastened his cloak and was holding it out to James. James took
it and gently draped it across Lily, who was shivering on the cold floor, her breath hitching with
sobs. 
 "Shhhh, love it's all right," he soothed her. "I'm here, Sirius is here,
the twins are here and we won't let him near you again. Everything's all right. . .
"
 James lifted Lily into his arms. He tried his very best to be careful, but she still cried out
when he touched her. James carried her to the nearest bed, aware of Sirius on his heels.
 Sirius pulled back the bedcovers and James lay Lily down, slowly, carefully. There was a hissing
sound. Autumn and Spike were melting the chain links that barred Madam Pomfrey from the room.
Turning back to Lily, he brushed her hair back and dabbed at the blood trickling down her cheek.
Lily's body involuntarily twitched when she felt James brush her face.
 *It's James, It's just James, he won't hurt you. . .* Lily couldn't help it,
she burst into silent tears and buried her face in her hands.
 James felt himself melt, he wanted to help her but she had closed herself off to him. Sirius was
standing over his shoulder. James looked at him and saw his own despair mirrored in his
friend's face. Their eyes met and a thousand unspoken thoughts passed between them.
 "My God!" Madam Pomfrey arrived panting at Lily's bedside and stopped in horror when
she saw the girl's condition. "Out. All of you, out!"
 James and Sirius both opened their mouths in protest, but Autumn cut them off.
 "Guys," she said sharply. She turned to her friend Lily and gently knelt down until she
was level with the other girl's face. "We'll be right back, Lil'," she said
as she touched Lily's hand. "We promise." Lily nodded, tears leaking out from her
tightly closed eyes. Autumn squeezed her hand, then stood. She walked toward the shattered doors,
the three boys behind her. James and Sirius both paused, not wanting to leave Lily like this.
 "She'll be all right." Autumn spoke quietly.
 "That's what we thought last time," James said. He turned and met Autumn's eyes.
She gazed back, then nodded.
 "Then we'll wait here in the hall," she said. Spike grunted in agreement and
fingered his wand. Sirius took James' arm.
 "C'mon, Prongs," he said softly.
 "How did you know?" James whispered.
 Sirius looked at him for a long moment. "How did you?" 
 James blinked back tears, then pulled his best friend into a fierce hug. Sirius hugged him back,
their friendship restored by the same reason it had broken: Lily.

 *****************

 Severus had Bellatrix by the arm and was gently guiding her back to the Slytherin common room.
They stepped through the door and were in the narrow hallway when Bellatrix blinked several times.
Severus stopped, weary, and saw her eyes come back into focus. 
 "So much for that," Severus muttered.
 "What--how--" Bellatrix looked around her, then her eyes narrowed and she sucked in her
breath in a venomous hiss. "Lucius." She was shaking. "That sleazy son of a
-"
 "Now Bella," Severus started. "This does us no good at all."
 "HE CURSED ME!" Her whispering was almost as effective as if she had screamed. Severus
backed into the wall. Trapped in a narrow hall with a very angry Bellatrix Black was not a good
place to be.
 "That little... ooo, I'll kill him for this! How long has it been?" she demanded,
wheeling around to Snape.
 "Hours," he said quietly. "I think he went to finish what he started."
 Bellatrix's eyes widened. "He's out of his mind," she stated flatly. "He
thinks he can get away with anything because he's the Master's favorite. You watch,"
she said, pointing a shaking finger at Severus, "he'll ruin all the Master's plans
because of his lust for a filthy Mudblood and we'll all end up in Azkaban for it." She
seemed afraid and Severus knew why. If Evans lived, she would tell Dumbledore of her ordeal. They
themselves would be incriminated because of their association with Lucius. The only way out of this
was for Lucius to kill Evans after he had his way with her. Unfortunately, another obvious murder
at Hogwarts was not what the Dark Lord had in mind. Lucius was risking an awful lot to satisfy his
greed.
 His thoughts were broken by the sound of approaching footsteps. He and Bellatrix turned and saw
Calista heading for the doorway.
 "Going somewhere?" Bellatrix asked.
 "Obviously," Calista said vaguely. Her mind was elsewhere. Severus looked at her
sharply: her feet were bare, her clothes were rumpled, her eyes red and bloodshot. She didn't
look at either of her classmates. She just left, out the door without another word.
 "She'll crack," Bellatrix said.
 "She won't," Severus replied softly. *She better not. She's mine now, and she
had better remember that.* 

 ******************************

 Calista slowed her pace once she was out of the castle. The moonlight night showed the ruins of
the greenhouse, pieces of glass twinkling in the light tiny stars. She walked mindlessly, heedless
of the shards cutting her feet.
 She thought of Narcissa, of the conversation they'd had. Bellatrix and Lucius would be furious
with her if they knew she had said the things she had said. Narcissa had obviously gone to great
lengths to reach out to Calista, the question was, why? So she could kill herself?!
 The knife sat in its box between the mattress and box spring of Calista's bed. She thought of
it now, its smooth handle cold in her hand. She imagined bringing the glistening blade down into
her flesh, just as she had done to the Brown girl--
 Calista jerked convulsively. *Don't think about that.* her mind ordered harshly. She
agreed with herself, her mind had dwelt on that long enough for today.
 She felt bad about the incident, but in all honesty did not miss the girl at all. She had never
liked Sara Brown. *So that makes killing her all right, then?* Calista caught herself,
horrified. My god, she was making excuses for committing murder! Is this who she really was?
 Her mind drifted again. She had ignored the plight of Lily Evans because of her jealousy towards
the other girl. Then, the murder of Sara Brown, receiving the Dark Mark, letting Severus take her
like he had-- bile rose instantly in her throat. She was nearly sick where she stood.
 A monster. She was a monster. No. . . she was much worse. She was just like *them*. 
 She finally looked up from the ground. Her feet had carried her all the way here, past the school
gates, down the beaten path to Hogsmede, up the hill to this place. The Shrieking Shack.
 She stood silently, gazing at the front door. *Remus was in there.* No, a werewolf was in
there. How tempting it suddenly seemed, to go in and let the one she loved finish her pain for
her.
 *Loved?* Her mind twitched and focused on that word. It simply wasn't possible. Calista
had never loved anyone or anything in her life, how could she harbor feeling towards a
*werewolf*?!
 Narcissa's admonitions came back to haunt her. Loving would only give them cause to hurt her.
Even if it was true, even if she did love Remus, she could do nothing. His life would be over, and
his was the one life she couldn't bring herself to end.
 The front door creaked open. Calista dove behind the nearest bush and held her breath. A tall,
shadowy figure strolled past her and her first thought was of the Master. Sweat beaded on her
forehead, she couldn't deal with the Master. Not now.
 It was Dumbledore. She saw him pause at the bottom of the hill and turn his face slightly, as
though he'd heard something. Calista was sure she was turning blue from holding her breath for
so long, but she didn't dare release it. She'd pass out first before she let Dumbledore
find her here.
 *Leave. Leave already!* Dumbledore stayed very still for a moment longer, then turned and
walked down the path and out of sight.
 Calista puffed out her cheeks and blew out the breath she'd been holding.
 Cautiously, she stood and stepped back onto the path. She walked up to the front door of the
Shrieking Shack and tried the handle. Locked. Of course it was, that was a dangerous werewolf in
there.
 She gazed at the locked door. *Go back* her mind told her. Yes, go back, it was for the best.
She turned to go.
 There was a click and the door slowly swung open of its own accord. Calista turned back and stared
distrustfully at the open entryway. The door hung silent, inviting her to enter.
 There was no light coming from the house; all seemed quiet inside. Calista reached the threshold
and peered in. No sign of Remus anywhere.
 *Don't tempt fate, girl! Go back now, before it's too late.* 
 "It's already too late," Calista whispered to herself. Taking a deep breath, she
stepped over the threshold and into the darkness of the Shrieking Shack.
 The door swung shut behind her, all by itself. She heard the lock click back into place. She took
a few cautious steps further into the room. It was pitch black. The windows were covered with thick
sheets of waxed paper, omitting all light from entering.
 She bumped into something hard-- "Ouch!" --- a chair, by the feel of it. Her eyes began
to adjust to the darkness and she could make out large shapes in the shadows. 
 A candle flickered into life before her. It was placed on a rickety old table that had chunks
missing from its legs. Chunks that had been taken out by large, razor sharp teeth. *Calista, you
are a complete idiot.* 
 She picked up the large candle and held it before her in both hands. She walked as silently as she
could, the floorboards squeaking occasionally under her feet. She walked past dirty walls that were
gouged with claw marks, past tumbles of broken furniture. Her feet were now covered in dust and had
acquired a few splinters which added to the sprinkles of blood already there. They ached horribly,
in addition to being very cold.
 Calista realized how mental she must be. Here she was, in an abandoned house with a werewolf
somewhere in here, dressed in nothing but her school skirt and shirtsleeves. No cloak, no
stockings, no shoes. She was mad.
 *Mad as a hatter,* her mind giggled crazily.
 "Oh, great, don't you go nuts on me too," she muttered to her brain. Calista stopped
and rolled her eyes. "I'm actually talking to myself. Bring on the men in white coats! St.
Mungo's, here I come." 
 The sound of her voice gave her some comfort in the gloom of the old house. She tiptoed up a long
flight of stairs. There was a door there, splintered from something inside that had tried to get
out. She listened desperately, there was apparently nothing moving in there.
 One white, shaking hand reached out and gently pushed at the door. It was not locked and creaked
open slowly. She saw a large four-poster bed, the hanging ripped and torn like sails on a ghost
ship. The sheets were dusty and wrinkled. There was a large shape lying next to the bed. Its chest
heaved in and out with lumbersome breaths. 
 Calista sucked in a quiet breath. The thick fur coat glistened in the candlelight; its features
were not harsh and primitive, but distinguished. Soft. Remus as a werewolf had a beauty that was
hidden while in his human form. 
 A thick silence fell on Calista, she realized the deep, harsh breaths of the wolf had stopped. She
looked, and saw its eyes were open and staring at her. Calista looked straight into the heart of
the wolf. Her trembling stopped; that was Remus in there. She could see him in the wolf's eyes.
He wouldn't harm her. 
 Her movements very slow, she placed the candle on the bedside cabinet and knelt down. The wolf
didn't move, it just followed her with its gleaming eyes.
 She reached out cautiously and ran her fingers through his thick coat. It was soft under her
fingers. She looked at the werewolf, Remus looked back. He made no move to hurt her, indeed her
didn't move at all. 
 Calista slowly stretched out until she was lying next to him. She placed her head down next to his
and gazed into his eyes. This was Remus, yes, but stronger than the man, more confident. But still
Remus. She slowly stroked the fur around his eyes and forehead until his eyes closed lazily again
and the deep breathing returned. Calista felt her own eyes heavy with sleep. There was too much out
there, but here in this place, what did it matter? It didn't matter here that she was a monster
and a murderer. She was lying here with a monster too. 
 Calista felt more at home, lying here with the huge beast in her arms, than she had felt in a long
time. And that was how sleep found her, monster comforted by monster, if only for a little
while.

* * *

Sunlight was streaming through thin cracks in the waxed paper covering the windows. It
illuminated the tiny dust bunnies dancing in the thick air of the Shrieking Shack. Calista smiled
at the sight. It was peaceful here, and on this hard wooden floor she'd had one of the best
sleeps of her life.
 Sometime in the night she had turned in her sleep, and morning had found her pressed against Remus
Lupin, his arms wrapped around her and his face buried in her hair. Calista didn't dare move,
for fear she would find this all a dream.
 Remus moaned and shifted in his sleep. Calista very slowly turned in his arms to look at his face.
He looked so innocent sleeping. There was no wolf there now, just sweet Remus. Her eyes trailed
over his face, his slender neck, his shoulders. She blushed when she realized he was naked-- *of
course. Transforming ruins his clothes and that's why they're always patched like they are.
he has to fix them every month.* Sometimes the obvious escapes even the most careful of
observers.
 Calista reached up and pulled the ragged, thin blanket off the bed and wrapped it around herself
and Remus. She snuggled back into his arms, willing to ignore the call of the outside world just
for a little longer.
 Remus stirred and his eyes slowly opened. They were still hazed with sleep, giving Calista a
moment to admire them before reality suddenly slammed into her like a ton of bricks. *How in the
name of Merlin do I explain this?* 
 In her blissful state of mind, she had forgotten that she wasn't supposed to be here. Remus
would likely freak out and demand explanations she wasn't sure she could give.
 Calista held her breath as she watched the awareness creep back into Remus' eyes. He focused
on the girl lying in his arms and Calista stared back, suddenly afraid. What would he do to her,
now that he knew she had invaded his sanctuary?
 Remus said nothing, so neither did Calista. They just stared at each other for the longest time,
speaking only with their eyes. Finally, Remus removed his arms from around her waist, only to reach
out and stroke her face. He didn't demand answers, he didn't tell her to leave, he
didn't even speak. He just ran his fingers over her features, soft and slow.
 Calista thought her heart would stop. It couldn't be. . . Yet here they were, two outcasts
from different worlds, together only for a little while, but still together. She had envisioned
this moment, denying those fantasies even to herself, for so long. They slowly lifted their faces
to each other. Light and comfort found them and eased their troubled hearts as they kissed and
kissed and touched and kissed. . .

***********

James was having major deja vu. Here he was, once again sitting on the cold stone floor outside
the hospital wing. Except this time, Remus wasn't here, Sirius, Autumn, and Spike were here, it
was sunrise, and Sara wasn't dead.
 Autumn and Spike were leaning against the wall. Autumn was fiddling with the hem of her cloak and
Spike was twirling his wand in his fingers. Sirius paced back and forth, back and forth, the same 6
feet over and over. No one had said a word since leaving the hospital wing and the tension lay like
a thick fog over them. They were once again waiting in agony over the fate of Lily Evans. Dear
sweet Lily, who had suffered so much in 48 hours and never deserved it. . . 
 Sirius stopped in his tracks as Dumbledore strode around the corner and moved towards the ripped
doors. The twins straightened their posture, but James just sat. . . staring at nothing.
 "Don't you ever sleep?" James asked his Headmaster.
 "Funny, Mr. Potter, I was going to ask you the same question." James raised his eyes and
saw Dumbledore giving him his patented raised eyebrow. James sniffed and gave a tiny crooked
smile.
 "All will be well," Dumbledore assured him. "All will be well."
 "Everyone's been saying that a lot recently and its bullshit!" Sirius' voice was
harsh. "Lily attacked, Sara murdered and me lost in the stupid forest--"
 "What?" James looked quickly at Sirius.
 "Long story," Sirius said quickly. "Then, Lily attacked again--"
 "Peter attacked," James cut in.
 "What?" This time it was Sirius who turned to James in surprise.
 "Long story," James said. Sirius returned to his rant.
 "So, explain to me how all will be well, because I sure as hell don't understand this!
Aren't you supposed to be this great wizard? You're here to keep us safe, aren't you?
How could you let this happen?" Sirius was yelling, forgetting this was Dumbledore he was
ranting at.
 Dumbledore just stood there, letting him rant. The twins stood open-mouthed, having never seen
anyone talk to the Headmaster like that. *Good for you, Padfoot. Rant if you can,* James
thought. James didn't feel like ranting, or complaining, or doing much of anything outside of
wait for Lily.
 "Prongs, say something! Back me up here!" Sirius whirled to James. *How can he just
sit there?! He loves Lily so why isn't he angry?* 
 James just stared at the ground, not knowing everyone was looking at him. 
 There had been too much in far too short a time, and his mind seemed to have shut off. Sirius
looked back and forth between James and Dumbledore, worry growing on his face. Dumbledore too was
giving James a concerned look.
 It was that exact moment Madam Pomfrey appeared in the doorway.

 ******************************

 "What do you mean, he knows?!" Lucius snarled. 
 "I-I m-m-m-mean, he knows-s," Peter stammered. Lucius had him by the collar of his robes
and was shaking him in his fury. Lucius shoved Peter away from him and ran a hand through his
messed up hair. His face was still streaked with blood from where the Mudblood had scratched him.
The open wounds burned like splinters under fingernails, and Lucius clenched his jaw
 in annoyance.
 "Fine," he said through his teeth. "I'll take care of the werewolf. Leave
me." He flapped his hand at Peter, who scrambled off. He'd done his duty, it was time to
go hide now.
 Lucius stormed into the almost deserted Slytherin common room. It was occupied by the very people
he least wanted to see, yet they were the same ones he needed most at the moment. Irony was a
bitch.
 "I never figured you for the rough and tumble type Lucius." Bellatrix quirked an eyebrow
at his face.
 "Shut up, Bella." He sat next to Severus in a huff and sank into the soft leather sofa,
resting his forehead in his hands. "Where are Rabastan and Rodolphus?"
 "Looking for Calista," Severus said softly. Lucius looked at Severus out of the corner
of his eyes, silently ordering him to continue.
 "She left hours ago and hasn't come back yet. Where have you been all this time,
anyway?"
 "Having fun," Lucius smirked.
 "Are you telling me," Bellatrix hissed, "that after I warned you not to
'screw' with the Mudblood you went ahead and did it ANYWAY?!"
 "Relax, Bellatrix, the fate of the world does not depend upon who I --"
 "Maybe not, but the fate of inheriting the Black family fortune sure as hell does! We both
know your family is ruined, all you have left is your so-called 'good name'. Without my
sister, you are nothing. Nothing!" Bellatrix was white with fury. Her eyes glared at him,
silently punishing him for his stupidity. Lucius smiled a slow, devious grin.
 "You honestly think I haven't arranged all that already?"
 Mild confusion crossed Bellatrix's face. "What--"
 "I have already conquered the Narcissa issue. Her future with me is no longer a choice. Your
parents and I signed the necessary papers long ago." Lucius imitated Bellatrix's earlier
look. "Didn't your sister tell you?"
 Bellatrix's jaw dropped and she stared at Lucius in complete shock. Severus looked warily
between the two. This had the capability to get extremely ugly.
 To the surprise of both men, Bella's face relaxed into a warm smile.
 "Good."



26. Dreams and Another Azkaban Interlude
----------------------------------------

**A/N:** *I’m still here! I swear I haven’t forgotten you all! I’ve just been so
unbelievably busy, with the opening of my website, The Marauder’s Hideaway, to work and family
things, but here I am and here is more of the story.*

**Chapter 24: Dreams and Another Azkaban Interlude**

*"And if we**
find ourselves inhabited by winter,
the mind's blank sky branching nowhere,
snow the best the cold heart can hope for,
buried under time's fraying comforter,
hand on naked back or thigh on thigh
can send us south into the middle of July."*

It's an interesting experience, finding peace in the midst of chaos. You don't quite know
what to think. Here is the world, going through its daily tumultuous routine, yet you find yourself
standing perfectly still. You have the urge to make this peace as a cage around you, keeping out
all things evil. If peace could truly be made a cage, Calista Serene wanted to be chained to the
wall.
*This is perfect.* She smiled against Remus' chest. Never in a million gentle fantasies
did she imagine actually being happy in the arms of a werewolf. Her werewolf. Let Severus find
someone else to control. Let Lucius find someone else to beat. She was never going back.
"Calista?" Remus' gentle voice whispered through her thoughts, bringing her slowly
back to earth.
"Hmmm?" He had an adorable lock of hair curled against the nape of his neck and she
twirled it in her fingers.
"What just happened?"
"I'm not entirely sure," she smiled. "But I'm not sorry." Calista
lifted her eyes to his. Mild confusion still danced in his eyes as he smiled nervously at her. She
brushed her hand across his face.
"Remus, don't you believe that some things just *happen*? Without you knowing
why?"
"I suppose they can," he said. "It's just--"
"Strange. I know." She did know. Gryffindors and Slytherins did not mix, much less
werewolves and murderers. But Remus didn't know that part of it.
Calista looked deep in his eyes, eyes she could get lost in forever. "What do your instincts
tell you?"
Remus lay silent for a moment, and she had a horrible fear they were telling him to run as fast as
he could in the other direction. He didn't run. His hand went to the back of her neck and
pulled her to him. The kiss was soft, nervous, but it was still a kiss. Calista smiled against his
mouth and kissed him back.
*Thank you* her mind sighed in relief. They kissed again. And again. His hand left her neck
and caressed her shoulder, then slowly began to travel down the length of her arm.
Her left arm.
*No. . .* Calista jerked her arm back and broke away, gasping for breath.
"What's wrong," Remus asked. The concern in his eyes made her want to weep. No one,
in all her years, had ever asked her that and meant it.
"Nothing," she whispered. Her arm was shifted so he couldn't see the burn that
branded her forearm. In the midst of their earlier embraces, she had been terrified he would find
it and cast her from him. That moment hadn't come, and she had been swept away by the delicious
feelings Remus had brought out in her, the mark and its significance left far behind in the
shadows.
"Nothing," she said again, this time in a stronger voice. She looked at Remus'
trusting face and smiled. It was a horribly fake smile, but Remus bought it and smiled back.
"We should go back," she said. "They'll miss you soon." They both knew who
she meant.
"If we must, we must," Remus said. His face showed amused regret at the thought of
leaving and she wanted to collapse in his arms and confess everything. . . but that could never,
ever happen. This could be the one great thing in her life and if it meant she had to lie to keep
it, then so be it. She was good at lying, after all.
"Are you sure you're all right?" Remus asked again. "Nothing's
wrong?"
Calista looked him dead in the eye. "What could possibly be wrong?"

*******

Madame Pomfrey had given her something to sleep, she knew that. The world faded into a swirl of
colors. Lily didn’t mind. It was a world she wanted no part of for the time being. She felt the
horror of the day fade slowly from her mind as the sleeping potion took a hold of her.

There were specks of golden light floating down from the sky. Like feathers caught in the wind they
danced around her, sprinkling her with their flickering glow. The lights grew brighter, and Lily
found herself in a large room. The lights were candles, long thin tapers whose flames twisted and
turned in the light draft gently blowing through the room. There were tall mirrors hanging on the
dark wooden walls, but they were fogged over and she couldn’t see her reflection.

Lily looked down at herself. She didn’t belong here, a ruined child in torn clothing standing alone
in a candlelit room. She wanted to run, but where? There was nowhere to go, no doors adorned the
walls. More and more she felt like she was somewhere she wasn’t supposed to be. Lily turned around
and around, desperately seeking an escape route.
Panic was beginning to take over her mind.

There was a soft touch on her shoulder. She turned, and instantly relaxed. If he was here, then it
was all right for her to be here too. She gazed into Sirius’ warm eyes as he pulled her into his
arms. They were dancing, very slow. One of Lily’s hands was intertwined with his, held against his
chest. Her other hand was resting on his shoulder; his other encircled her waist and was laid
against the small of her back. Sirius would keep her safe.

They danced into a small patch of shadow, and when they emerged it was James’ soft hazel eyes Lily
was looking into. She felt the wave of love for him wash over her. James would die for her. He told
her with his eyes. She caught her reflection finally in one of the mirrors behind James. She was no
longer the spoilt, soiled girl she’d been before. Now she was clean, her wounds gone, her hair
smooth and shining again. Lily smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.

She blinked and he was Sirius again, gently brushing her hair out of her eyes with a shaking hand.
. . . James was pressing his lips on her forehead. . . back and forth it went. The Lady Lily, with
her gentlemen to keep her safe. The blonde devil would never find her here.

--------- AZKABAN PRISON, DEC. 20. YEAR 4------------

Sirius was having the dream again. The one in the candlelit room, dancing with Lily one moment,
the next he was trapped in a mirror, watching her dance with James. It didn’t matter which position
he was in, partner or observer, he could feel her. He knew she felt safe from the blonde devil, as
they called him. It didn’t matter that it was his best friend, and not him, holding the one person
he’d given his heart to. If James had made Lily happy, then it didn’t matter his heart broke every
time they smiled at each other, that he had to look away when they kissed.

Their wedding day had been the most heartbreaking day of Sirius’ life. His only love had married
the man of her dreams and it wasn’t him. He’d gone, been best man to James, drank, danced and
celebrated with the rest. No one knew he’d died inside.

Now he was here, lost in this tiny cell, six feet by nine feet, trapped in that feeling of loss
forever. There was only a small slit in the wall, ten inches high and 5 inches wide. That was his
window. Sirius tried vainly for a glimpse of the night sky, but it was no use. All the window was
good for was bringing in the bitter air from the ocean. The dementors gave the inmates no fire, of
course. They each had two thin, torn blankets and a flat pillow filled with lumps. One hand was
permanently chained to the dank, mossy walls. Sirius had made slash marks in the moss with his
fingernails, marking the time spent in here. He feared the day when he’d run out of room. That
would be the day he’d let the dementors take him.

He’d felt everything he’d tried so hard to push behind him in his life. For four years, he’d
suffered through memories of his horrible family, the humiliations they’d once forced upon him,
then losing Lily, remembering Sara’s death Peter’s betrayal. . . the ones who mattered most were in
the ground now, Lily and James. . . Sara. . . . Spike and Autumn. . . . Peter lived, but was as
good as dead as far as Sirius cared. Remus was all alone out there.

Thinking of Moony made Sirius clutch his hair in frustration. Moony, a spy. It was the most
ridiculous concept he’d ever dreamed up. There had been something, in school, that had changed the
relationship between Remus and Peter but Remus had never said what happened. But the Marauders had
never been the same after graduation. . .

It hurt so much. He left his memories; they were too painful to look at now. He slipped back
into his dream, his refuge. He wanted to dance with Lily, but there were dementors on either side
of him holding him back. He was trapped behind the mirror, forced to watch as his best friends
danced, becoming more transparent with each step until they vanished forever.

Even his dreams were stolen from him now.

------- Back then… ---------

Once again, James was sitting at the bedside of his beloved Lily, gazing at her while she slept.
He wondered idly if there was a record for the amount of time students spent in the hospital wing
and figured between Lily, Sirius and Remus’ various injuries they had set new standards. It was the
most pathetic thought he’d ever had, and he’d had some whoppers (although no one knew it).

Madame Pomfrey had said she would eventually be all right, that she had given Lily a potion to
make her sleep for a long time, but had given the students no specifics as to what Lucius had done
to her. She had Dumbledore had disappeared into her office, the door shut now for a long time.

Lily’s face looked peaceful in its slumber, her lashes dark against her pale cheeks. James
wanted to kill Lucius. That much was obvious to everyone around him, and apparently a very mutual
sentiment. Autumn slowly paced back and forth at the foot of Lily’s bed, her violet cloak streaming
out behind her as she gnawed on the knuckle of one thumb. Spike had vanished after a whispered
conversation with his sister. *This must be awful for her*, James realized. Sara had been her
best friend, too, and now Lily. . . Yet Autumn plowed on, determined as ever in her doings. She was
strong, and James admired her courage.

His eyes left Autumn and traveled to Sirius, who was sitting on the other side of the bed. His
dark eyes were focused on Lily’s face. He was in agony; it was written all over his handsome
features. James wondered what had happened to Sirius during their separation. He seemed different
somehow, in a way James couldn’t out his finger on.

*He still loves her*, James realized. Of course he did, love wasn’t something that could be
washed away in one argument. Yet instead of filling James with jealousy, it comforted him. There
was someone else out there who was willing to protect Lily with his life and it made James feel
better that he wasn’t alone in that. There was no uncertainty anymore about Lily’s feelings, James
knew that. He supposed there was room enough for both men to love her.

**************************

Sirius had a horrible feeling he knew what had happened to his sweet Lily. He’d seen Malfoy’s
eyes on her, following her, but Malfoy had always looked away when he realized someone was
watching. In years past Sirius had thought nothing of it since he had thought nothing of Lily. It
stunned him now to think of it, how little consideration he’d once given the girl who’d become his
life. *How things change.*

Malfoy was a dead man. Sirius wanted to gouge his eyes out with his bare hands, make him bleed
and crawl on the ground before him. Death was too good for the man. Yet at the same time, Sirius
was of the consideration that there had been too much violence already, and as much of a monster as
Malfoy may be, it was time to leave things to those in charge. He wanted to avenge Lily,
desperately, but he was so tired. . .

His soul had aged a thousand years in the space of days. He just couldn’t do anymore.

************************

Peter stepped gingerly over the shattered remnants of the doorway and walked slowly into the
hospital wing. *God, people, breathe a little! It’s not like she’s dead.* Of course, Peter
would never speak those thoughts aloud to anyone in the room. Time to play the concerned friend,
comforter of the weary, blah blah blah.

“H-How is she?” Peter put on his most concerned voice as he knelt next to James. He put his hand
on James’ shoulder and tried his best not to laugh in their faces.

“How do you think?” It was Autumn who answered her voice razor sharp. “Attacked twice in two
days by that—that *freak!* How would you be?!” Peter narrowed his eyes at her, but Autumn had
turned in her pacing and didn’t see. He hoped she wasn’t going to be an issue that needed dealing
with. He had enough problems as it was.

“She’ll b-be all right, P-P-Pro-James.” Peter knew better than to use their secret names in
front of Autumn. There was a very good chance she already knew their secret, being who she was, but
the boys had agreed to take no chances. “L-Lily’s a t-tough old girl; sh-sh-sh-sh-she’ll make it
j-just fine.” Peter assured his friend with warmth he didn’t feel. Evans could kick the bucket
anytime for all he cared. It would make his life considerably easier.

His eyes fell on her. *She was quite lovely*, he admitted to himself grudgingly. *Too bad
she’s nothing but a simpering Mudblood.*

“Hey, Pete,” Sirius said quietly, “will you go find Remus? He’d hate to not be here with us.”
Peter nodded, silently hating Sirius for ordering him around like a servant. He left, his feet
shuffling along the stone floor all the way. He never saw Autumn’s distrustful eyes on him as he
left.



27. Deals with the Devil
------------------------



**Chapter 25: Deals with the Devil**

Peter checked Gryffindor Tower, the Great Hall, the library, everywhere he could think of but
there was no sign of Remus. He didn't really know why he was actually trying so hard to find
him. His next meeting with Remus was bound to bring problems.

Peter stepped through the great oak doors of the Entrance Hall and drank what little warmth the
sun offered. There was a bitter chill in the sir; winter was definitely on the way. There were no
other students about. His eyes wandered over the empty garden paths, then settled on two figures
walking hand in hand up to the gates. One was tall, very thin. . . ah, there was Moony. *Since
when did the werewolf hold hands with girls?* Girls who were very thin, with hair that was
------ *No way. . .*

**************************************

Calista hugged herself with one arm. It was very cold, even with the sun beaming down on the
world. She couldn't believe she was walking up the path with Remus' hand linked with hers.
Life was very strange indeed to give her this gift after taking her through the nine levels of
hell. It took all she had to keep from smiling continually like a fool.

Her eyes caught a small, plump figure darting inside the entry doors. *Oh, no. . . .*

***************************************

*I'm walking up the path holding hands with a girl I've never really noticed before, a
girl I've just - Merlin, how did all this come to pass?* Remus had rarely been as confused
by life as he was now. Calista Serene was not someone he had ever imagined being intimate with, yet
here they were. He was more surprised than ever to find that holding her hand was not unpleasant.
Her skin, sallow and very pale, was nonetheless soft to the touch. Her eyes were pale and
colorless, yet they had a depth to them he was hard pressed to find in many others. There was
definitely a mind in that head, a fact that was more attractive than anything.

She had a very pretty smile too. Her face changed from the cold, heartless Slytherin she was
known as to something. . . something soft, and sweet and gentle, even kind. Calista was a paradox,
a mystery Remus was becoming determined to solve.

Her hand went cold in his, breaking him from his thoughts. She pulled her hand from his, and he
almost missed the feeling of it. *What the hell?*

“I have to go,” she said quickly. Something was wrong; she wasn't looking at him. Her eyes
were looking up at the castle and something very akin to fear skittered in her voice. She was gone,
through the gates, like a ghost leaving Remus alone on the beaten path.

“What on earth was that about?” he wondered aloud. There were many mysteries these days.
Problems to be solved. And speaking of problems . . . he had an appointment to keep with a furry
little friend of his. He must have transformed during his confrontation with Peter. Someone had to
have intervened; he had a feeling it was Prongs. That's fine; at least he didn't eat
anything he wasn't supposed to. His stomach growled. He was starving.

Remus glanced casually at the sky. There was a dark cloud hovering over the North Tower. On
closer look, it was a raven. Remus shrugged; it was just a bird.

****************************************

Calista ran away from Remus, hating to leave. She rounded the corner and stopped in shock.
Someone had majorly trashed Greenhouse 2. She hadn't really noticed the damage last night;
she'd been too engrossed in her own thoughts.

Now, she saw half the wall was gone. What on earth could tear out half a wall?

“Nice, isn't it?” The simpering little voice reached Calista's ears. It was exactly who
she thought it was. *Crapweasels.* She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and turned to deal
with Peter.

“What do you want, rat?” She put on her best Slytherin charm, which didn't involve much
effort. She despised Peter.

“I s-saw you,” Peter leered at her. “What w-would the oth-thers think of-f your n-n-new b-boy
toy? I b-bet L-Lucius and S-S-S-Severus would r-really love to h-hear ab-b-bout it.”

“Why you little. . .” Calista had pulled out her wand without realizing it, and she now took the
advantage to point it at Peter. “I should curse you into oblivion. What business is it of yours who
I spend my time with?”

“C-Curse m-me if you w-want, but I-I'll b-b-be miss-ssed. Y-You're exp-p-p-pendab-ble,
r-remember? I'm not.”

Calista stared at the fat little boy in shock. He was completely right. He had made his place in
the circle long before she was pulled into the scheme of things. Little Peter was more cunning than
she had thought. She lowered her wand, eyeing him with distaste.

“What is it?” She asked. Peter gestured to her with one fat finger, and she reluctantly leaned
in to hear what he had to say.

*********************************

Sirius was very tired now, eyes head drooping on his chest, but he fought valiantly to stay
awake. He was tired of sitting, doing nothing, but he didn't dare move. What if Lily woke up
and he wasn't here? It didn't matter if he was out of the picture, he just wanted to see
her open her eyes and know she was all right...

As if the fates had read his mind and decided to take pity on him, Lily's eyes slowly
opened. Sirius sat up straight in his chair, completely awake now. Her eyes gazed at the ceiling
for a moment. She seemed confused, but the color of her eyes was strong and reassuring.

“Lily?'' His voice was a whisper, but she'd heard him. She looked at him, straight
into his eyes, and smiled.

“Hi, Sirius,” she said. Her voice was hoarse and scratchy, but to Sirius it was music. Lily
stretched out one hand to him and he clasped it in his own. He leaned down and kissed her
forehead.

“How do you feel?” he asked her.

“Hmmm, let's think,” she said mock seriously. Lily then looked at Sirius and dropped him a
wink and a small grin.

“At least you still have your sense of humor,” Sirius laughed joyfully. His mind was singing.
*Lily's going to be all right.*

“Glass half full, right?” Lily was doing her best to stay upbeat. Sirius took a chance and
kissed her bruised fingers. Lily's eyes on him were tender, full of love. He couldn't pull
away from her gaze. Sirius was moving closer to her. God, he wasn't doing this. They had been
down this road already; was he insane? His lips were inches from hers; he could feel her cool
breath on his face.

Sirius jerked his head up with a start. He looked around in surprise. Lily's hand was not in
his, they were not about to kiss. Her eyes were closed and James was at her side, fast asleep
himself. Autumn was gone and Spike had taken her place, pacing back and forth with wand drawn
out.

He'd been dreaming again. Sirius let his head fall into his hands, elbows resting on his
knees. He knew Spike's eyes were on him; he just didn't care. The fates were cruel, twisted
beings, he decided. He silently cursed them all for bringing him and his friends into the warped
world of adulthood so soon.

Sirius stood abruptly and walked to the window. The sun was shining, oblivious to their pain.
Sirius felt the world should stop and take notice, damnit. He was bloody sick of all this nonsense.
It was time for some answers.

Spike gasped behind him. Sirius turned and his eyes widened. Lily was sitting up, stroking
James, hair as he slept on, unaware that Lily had awoken. Her eyes left the sleeping James and went
to Spike. He nodded at her and Lily smiled back, blinking back tears. Her gaze left her guard and
went to Sirius, standing alone by the window. There were no words spoken, no movements made. The
room sparked with the electricity between them. Sirius felt the tears running down his face but
made no move to wipe them away. They simply stared at each other from across the room, oblivious to
the boy sleeping next to Lily, oblivious to the other boy watching so carefully. There was nothing
for this moment but Sirius and Lily, and it was all right.

**************************

Calista crept around the castle until she was very near the South Tower. She had a favorite spot
here where she liked to sit and think. She would gaze at the misty mountains behind the castle and
let her mind wander. She used to imagine the trials she would bring on the heads of her Gryffindor
nemesis; ways she would make them suffer for being everything she hated. That was how Rabastan had
found her, back in their third year, muttering about stupid Gryffindors under her breath. Rabastan
had run off to tell his brother Rodolphus of the angry little Slytherin with the twisted ideas.
Rodolphus had told his girlfriend, Bellatrix, who'd told Lucius . . . and the world had
snowballed from there.

Calista hadn't been here in ages. She sat on the grass, still damp with morning's dew,
and leaned back against the base of a small fountain. A statue of a fairy holding a flower in the
palm of her hand rose out of the base. Calista liked this statue because it was sad, like her. The
water was the fairy's tears; she was crying. Calista wasn't really into the happy, fluffy
statues that lined the more populated garden paths. This corner of the garden was like the South
Tower, unused and ignored. The greenery had grown almost out of control here, huge wild flowers and
long branches of ivy everywhere. Calista could be completely alone here. None of the others ever
came this way anymore.

Calista pulled out her wand and laid it on the ground before her, pointing it to the east. There
was nothing in the world she wanted to do less than modify Remus' memory, but there was no
other way. She would not let them kill him, and so she and Peter had reached this arrangement.

Calista leaned over her wand and muttered something indecipherable. A small sliver mist shot out
of her wand and swirled away through the garden. She took a deep breath. This next one would be
more of a chore. She was not fond of Sirius Black, and didn't much care for his fate. If he
wasn't friends with Remus . . . She sighed. Peter had conned her into this one, too. Little
slime ball was toast when she was done with this.

She muttered the spell again and another mist came out of her wand, this time going to the
hospital wing.

****************************

Remus was on a wild Peter hunt. He was bound and determined to find the little sneak and get
some straight answers. He saw a very familiar brunette up ahead.

“Hey Autumn!”

“Yo, Remus!” Autumn came running over to him and he smiled. She was the only British person
he'd ever met who said “yo.'' She thought it made her cool to speak American slang, she
said.

“Boy, are you a hard person to find,” she said upon reaching him.

“What's that supposed to mean?” Remus asked.

Autumn stared at him for a moment, then blinked. “Of course! You haven't been around; you
wouldn't have any idea of what's happened. Duh, Autumn!” She smacked her forehead.

“WHAT HAPPENED?!” Remus almost shouted at her. She was making him insane.

“Lily was attacked again, and it looks like Lucius really did something to her this time.
We're not sure what; Madame Pomfrey won't say. But everyone's staying with her. . .
Spike and I were going in shifts until we found you. They sent Peter, but, well . . . you know
Peter,” she finished with a laugh. Remus twitched at the mention of Peter and opened his mouth to
say something to Autumn.

There was a brush of something very soft against his ear. Remus stood with his mouth open,
thinking. He couldn't remember what he was going to say. He closed his mouth with a snap.
Autumn giggled.

“What?” he asked.

“You looked a bit like a codfish, mate,” she said. Then her face turned serious. “C'mon,
let's get to Lily-girl.” Autumn took Remus' arm and together they went hurrying along to
the hospital wing.

********************************

Calista sighed and leaned back against the fountain again. It was done. The tears could come
now, and they did, flowing freely down her silent face. She sat with her eyes closed, not making a
sound, the tears traveling down her small face her only form of movement.

A twig snapped in the darkness. Calista opened her eyes and stared blankly into the sallow face
of Severus Snape. He stared down his hooked nose at her, his dark eyes boring into her colorless
ones.

“Happy now?” she asked him quietly. Something that was almost pity came into his eyes as he
reached out and gently touched her face. They stayed that way, the two of them, for a long while,
and no one missed them.

**A/N:** *I am so so so sorry! It was not my intention to not update in so long! It's a
bit easy to forget about this story sometimes because its already ssoted in so many other places
and I am hard at work on its sequel. Plus the Marauder's Hideaway is up and running, so
that's been going on. (* **www.freewebs.com/marauders-hideaway/ *) but you
guys don't care! You just want the story! So I will shut up and let you all enjoy! Please, post
comments. I worship your feedback. I thrive on it. I crave it. I sound like I'm begging.
I'm done now. :D*



28. Chess Wars
--------------



**Chapter 26: Chess Wars**

James heard voices. He really didn't feel like waking up, and he wished the voices would
shut up already. Didn't they understand he just wanted to sleep? He heard Sirius' bark of a
laugh, and then he realized soft fingers were running through his hair. Who would . . . .?

It couldn't be. That would be too much to hope for, wouldn't it? James' eyes shot
open and he sat up so suddenly the others gasped. It was real. Lily was awake. Her perfect eyes
looked back at him. They were rimmed in red, like she'd been crying, but they were here,
looking at him!

James threw his arms around her and kissed her, uncaring of anyone else in the room. He felt
Lily's arms go around him as she kissed him back. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind he
heard Spike's happy chuckle at the sight of them. They must be making a scene, but James could
have cared less. This was his Lily he was with. If they were to make a scene, bring on the cameras.
He didn't care. He surrendered to the joy rising in him and kissed her again.

**********************

Sirius watched James and Lily together and forced a smile on his face for the benefit of Spike.
Watching them made his stomach curl into knots, but what could he say*? `Hey Prongs, could you
not kiss your girlfriend in front of me because I love her too and it makes me uncomfortable?'
Oh, yeah, that would go over so well!*

The world spun crazily for a moment. *What the . . . ?* He grasped the window ledge and
shook his head, trying to clear the sudden fuzziness in his mind.

“Sirius mate, you all right?” Spike was at his side, speaking quietly. Sirius looked up into
Spike's piercing blue eyes and faked yet another smile.

“Am I ever?” he deadpanned. He shook of the hand Spike was holding out, determined to take care
of himself. “I'm all right,” Sirius insisted impatiently. “Stop fussing, Spike!”

Spike stepped back and held up his hands in peace. Sirius felt bad, but didn't say anything.
He glanced at Lily and James; Lily was now resting her head on James' chest, silent tears
streaming down her face. James was whispering to her things Sirius could not hear, nor did he care
to. He felt Spike's piercing gaze on him and turned away. He could not admit the truth to
anyone else right now. It diminished him, somehow.

There was a noise at the doorway. Remus and Autumn came flying in. Upon seeing Lily awake,
Autumn flung herself onto her friend and burst into tears, which was a very un-Autumn thing to do.
Remus was more subtle. He went to James and put a hand on his shoulder. James looked up at the boy
and smiled. They both looked at Sirius, who sucked in a deep breath. *And the Oscar goes to. .
.* He plastered a big smile on his face and went over to his friends. They all sat around
Lily's bed, everyone suddenly talking all at once, laughing and hugging or just sitting back
and smiling. They all believed the worst to be over, and it was. For now.

---------- AZKABAN PRISON, AUGUST 17, YEAR 8 ----------------------

The thing about Azkaban was, it either absorbed the cold or absorbed the heat. You would either
freeze or bake in your little cell. Sirius was roasting, his gray prison robes clinging to him like
a second skin. To add insult to injury, he now had a beard that almost rivaled Dumbledore's in
length. Sirius had never wanted a beard, it made his skin itch.

His head was full of memories. None of the happy ones were there, just the sad ones. Many
involved his mother. . whose name he could no longer remember. He was forgetting. He'd heard
that it happened to the inmates, but he'd never believed until his own mind began to betray
him.

The slash marks he made in the moss covering the walls now took up almost two entire walls. What
was scary is that the walls were 14 feet tall, to accommodate the 12 ft. tall dementors. When he
had first come to Azkaban, he had marked off the days. Then, it turned to marking off weeks. After
much time had passed, he had given over to just marking off the months. There simply wasn't the
wall space for days or weeks. In recent weeks he had stopped marking altogether because he
couldn't' tell what day it was anymore. He knew the seasons from the weather, but that was
about it.

He looked at his walls. There were names written amongst the slash marks, names he loved. James,
Lily, Remus, Spike, Autumn, Sara. The names of his real family, the ones who'd stood by him
through his life. Names of people who were not there anymore. Of all those names, only Remus still
breathed and walked this world. The others lay under it, forgotten in darkness.

He remembered the names of his beloved friends only because he'd carved their names into the
wall. Even then, it sometimes took him a while to connect the names with the faces in his mind
these days. He wondered how long it would be before he forgot his own name. He suspected it
wouldn't be much longer.

The temperature dropped suddenly and Sirius hugged himself and tried not to whimper. They were
coming again.

There was a loud clank and the door to his tiny cell swung open. They had him by his thin arms.
One of them was unlocking the manacle that bound him forever to the wall. Where were they taking
him?

His hands were shackled before him, and they had leg chains around his ankles. He could have
laughed; they were on an island! Where was he supposed to go? There was nothing out there worth
escaping for. His friends were dead, Remus despised him forever, and for all he knew his little
godson Harry didn't even know he existed.

The dementors brought him to a room that contained two metal chairs and a low metal table.
Sirius was shoved into one of the chairs. Chains appeared, linking his shackles to the floor. The
same thing happened to the chains on his legs. For extra measure, a chain collar was placed around
his throat and was locked to the back of the chair. They made sure all the locks holding him were
secure, and then the dementors left Sirius alone.

Sirius looked at the other chair in interest. He supposed he had a visitor or something. For the
first time in eight long years, someone had come to see him. He had too little faith in him to
believe it was Remus. He didn't think he could bear that kind of meeting anyway, especially if
Remus had come to curse him personally. But he didn't think it likely. Sirius wouldn't have
come if he were Remus, either.

The door creaked open, rusted hinges squealing. Sirius' visitor stepped inside the room and
the door swung shut. Sirius thought his eyes would bulge out of his head. This was someone he had
never expected to ever see again, and yet here they were.

“Hello, Sirius.”

His mind raced back through his life and somehow was able to place a name with that face. That
horrid face.

Sirius was miraculously able to find his voice and spoke for the first time in several
years.

“Oh. My. God.”

*********************

Several weeks had passed, and winter had officially arrived. Snow covered the castle, white and
pure. There were a few yellow patches where people had tried to be funny, but nothing too extreme.
A light glaze of ice covered the lake, and crystals of light danced across the surface. Snowball
fights were a daily occurrence, during breaks and after classes. The castle was not yet decorated
for Christmas, but the holiday feeling was already in the air. Almost everyone's spirits were
high with the thought of the coming holidays.

Very close to Calista's garden, there was a place that was clear of any plants. Just a few
small stone tombstones marking the memory of students who had once walked the halls but would walk
no more. Sara's body had been returned to her family and buried in a cemetery in London. Many
students had been permitted by Dumbledore to attend the funeral services, and classes had been
canceled for that day.

Lily had not gone. Her injuries had not permitted her to leave the hospital wing, and so Autumn
had represented her to Sara's parents. James, Sirius, Spike, Peter, and Remus had all attended
as well. It was Remus who had told Lily the details of the funeral; she had wanted to know
everything.

Lily was finally out of the hospital now, and the raven found her standing in front of the
newest memorial marker at Hogwarts. She was wrapped in her warm Hogwarts cloak, yet she was
shivering. Snowflakes decorated her hair, but she didn't notice. It was still very hard to
believe Sara was gone. Autumn had hardly left her side these past weeks, and James had visited her
between every class and had spent every evening sleeping next to her bed, but nothing could fill
the giant hole in Lily's heart. It was if a part of her had died with Sara, and Lucius Malfoy
had stolen the rest. She was empty now, a shell of the vibrant girl who had once been. That was how
she felt, anyway.

Lily had been standing here, knee deep in snow, for several hours now. She came to this place
every day now. It was part of her routine. She told Sara everything that was going on. Sara hated
to be left out of things.

“So, I'm not going home for Christmas,” Lily said. “You know Petunia's always
insufferable, but she's worst around the holidays and I just don' think I can stand her
this year. I may end up strangling her with her boyfriend's tie or something.

I think Autumn and Spike are going to stay, too. I'm not sure what James has planned. I know
Remus is staying. He says it's to help me with prefect duties, but I know better.” Lily smiled.
“Nobody leaves me alone anymore. Not that I mind it or anything. Everyone's been very sweet. I
just need to have my three seconds of alone time, you know?

Sirius and Peter hexed Severus Snape again after Charms yesterday. They gave him a splendid pair
of horns. Not as creative as usual, you say? Well, the horns aren't on his head.” Lily actually
giggled. “I thought about yelling at them, but my heart just wasn't in it. I was tired,” she
added hastily. She didn't know if Sara's spirit had lingered here, but she didn't want
her friend to worry. *And now I know I'm cracking up,* Lily thought.

The sun was setting, leaving long shadows in its path. Lily knew it was time to go. She refused
to be alone after dark. “I have to go, Sara,” Lily said now. “I'll be back tomorrow.” Lily put
her hand on Sara's marker and closed her eyes, silently thinking all the things she didn't
have the strength to say out loud. Heaving a deep sigh, she turned to go.

There was someone walking along the paths. A small, very thing figure. Calista stopped and
looked at Lily, who stared back in surprise. Neither girl said anything; the

y were very far apart.

*Calista has the answers to everything,* Lily suddenly thought. She was certain of the
other girl's involvement in Sara's death, and maybe even her own assault. Lily took a step
towards her and opened her mouth to speak, but Calista suddenly turned and hurried off the way she
had come.

*What on earth was Calista Serene doing down here anyway?* That girl was a mystery unto
herself, but Lily didn't have the strength to figure it out. Lily's shoulders slumped and
she went inside, suddenly very tired.

They were relaxing in the warmth of the common room, at ease with each other for the first time
in ages. Peter was hunched over the table in the corner, plowing through his Potions homework with
Spike's help. Autumn was polishing her broomstick and laughing at the antics of James and
Sirius. Remus lay sprawled over the sofa, reading a fat volume written in what appeared to be
Latin. James and Sirius sat on the hearthrug, each trying to interrupt the other's
concentration by cracking jokes.

“You're gonna lose, Prongs my man,” Sirius said. “It's inevitable.”

“Since when have you ever beaten me at chess?” James grinned. “Let's think. Ummmm. . . how
about NEVER!”

“All things must change,” Sirius replied. “Today's my lucky day.”

“Whatever, mate,” James snorted. “Whatever you're on, nit must be good stuff.”

“Yeah, baby.” Sirius smiled mischievously.

“Feel like sharing?” James asked with a similarly wicked grin.

“Let's think. Ummmmm. . . how about NO!”

James gasped. “That's mean! I'd share with you!”

“Then what have you been hiding all our lives?”

“Who told you?!” James looked shiftily about.

“I have my sources,” Sirius said smugly. “You going to move ever?”

“Why? Gotta hot date?”

“Yeah, major hot stuff. But Remus just can't compare to you.” Sirius made kissy noises
towards James, who cracked up. Remus snorted in disgust behind his book, but kept reading. Sirius
could have sworn he saw Remus roll his eyes, but the book was in the way. James took the
opportunity to throw one of his pawns at Sirius and it clonked him in the head.

“OUCH!” Sirius clapped a hand to his forehead and looked aghast at James.

“What are you, TWELVE?!” Sirius yelled. “Fight like a man!” And he chucked his knight at
James' chest. There was a moment of silence in which both boys looked at each other, Sirius
hiccupping back his laughter.

“Oh crap,” Autumn said.

“Duck,” Remus advised, and hid behind his large book. Good thing. Chess pieces were suddenly
flying everywhere, James and Sirius laughing like little children. Autumn scrambled laughing behind
the couch, Peter dove under the table. Spike took full advantage of the situation and enchanted
some crumpled paper balls top follow Sirius and James around, bonking them continually on the
head.

“OW!” Everyone stopped fighting and looked toward the portrait entrance. Lily had come in unseen
amid the chaos and had apparently been hit in the head by a flying chess piece. Everyone looked
around, holding back snickers of laughter and trying to appear serious.

“Sorry, Lady Lily,” Sirius said. Lily just glared at him and stomped upstairs.

“Busted,” Peter said from under the table. He slowly crawled out, a huge grin on his face.

“Shut up,” Sirius said with a nervous smile. “You think she's really mad?” he asked
Autumn.

“Who knows,” she said quietly. “She may have barely noticed. She seems to be on auto-pilot these
days.”

“I'm going to go talk to her,” James said. He stood up, but Spike's paper balls were
still bopping him on the head. “Knock it of, already!”

“Sorry, James mate,” Spike said. He waved his wand and the paper fell innocently to the floor,
perfectly still.

“Umm, I think I should go,” Autumn said. She stood up and went next to James.

“Why can't I go?” James said angrily.

“You plan on getting up into the girl's dorm how?” Autumn said.

The staircase turned into a slide when boys touched it. “Oh yeah,” James said quietly.

“I'll keep an eye on Lily-bean,” Autumn said reassuringly.

“Tell her I want to see her,” James said. There was a hint of desperation in his voice. Autumn
felt so sorry for him. James wanted to help Lily; there just wasn't much anyone could do.

“I'll tell her,” she said softly. They watched Autumn disappear up the staircase.

“Lily will come out of it eventually,” Spike said. James turned and caught a glimpse of
something on Sirius' face, but the other boy turned away before James could figure it out.

“Padfoot?” James asked softly.

“It's nothing, mate. Just a little worried, that's all,” Sirius said. He was staring
into the fire. His profile was illuminated in the flickering light as he hugged his knees to his
chest. They had not discussed Lily. It was easier to be friends if they did not talk about the
past.

“We all are,” Remus, ever the peacekeeper, stepped next to James. “Everyone's worried about
Lily. She's had to go through a lot these past few months.”

“I just wish I knew what to do for her,” Sirius whispered.

“That's my job,” James said harshly.

“You are not the only person who cares about Lily,” Remus said sharply.

“I know,” James said. “I just wish I knew what to do! And I can't help her get through this
thing unless I know what the thing is!”

“Lily will talk about Lucius when she's ready,” Spike said. “We all just need to back off
and give her a little time. All of us,” he said pointedly, looking first to James, then Sirius.
James nodded reluctantly and sat on the sofa. Sirius just stared into the fire.

“Let's finish our chess game,” Sirius said abruptly. He flicked his wand and the chess
pieces flew from their scattered places around the room and returned to their former positions on
the board.

James gave Sirius a strange look, but slid off the sofa to join him. After watching them make a
few moments each in silence, Remus picked up his book and returned to the sofa. Spike walked over
and picked up his sister's broomstick and went upstairs to his room, leaving Peter alone at the
table.

*******************

Autumn peeked into her dormitory. Lily was sitting at her bedside table, her head buried in her
arms. Autumn stepped quietly inside and closed the door behind her. She made no noise as she
crossed to Lily.

Lily didn't even realize that she was no longer alone until Autumn put a hand on her back.
Her head shot up and Lily sniffed back a sob. She'd been crying again. Her eyes were bloodshot
and her face was puffy.

“Oh, Lily-bean,” Autumn said gently. Lily's face crumpled and Autumn pulled her into a hug.
They stayed that way, the two girls, missing their friend.

*******************

The fire was dying, but still they lingered. Peter had gone upstairs, his unfinished Potions
homework spread over the table. James and Sirius had finished their game in silence, and were now
in the middle of another. Remus was still reading, they thought.

In truth, Remus had been staring at the same page for three hours now. It wasn't the Latin;
he could read it fluently. His mind simply was not on his book. It was down in the dungeons, on a
girl he'd spent many stolen moments with lately.

The night romps with his fellow Marauders had not stopped. They still wreaked havoc and had many
adventures on those nights of the full moon. The early hours before dawn, however, belonged to
Calista, who managed to find her way to his hiding place every time. He always woke to her next top
him, and found himself enjoying the time he spent with her. Remus had told no one of his hours
alone with Calista in the Shrieking Shack. It seemed like a betrayal, the time he spent with her,
yet he found himself longing for those mornings with her.

At school, it was business as usual. They did not speak to each other in public, and Calista no
longer pulled him into dark corners to warn him of things, or even to say `hi.' She didn't
even look at him in the halls, though Remus found himself wishing she would.

She baffled him; confounded his senses. Calista wasn't the kind of girl he normally thought
of as attractive. Her dark, lank hair hung limply around her face; her pale eyes seemed very cold.
Her skin was sallow and pale, and her frame was bone-thin and very malnourished-looking. Yet Remus
knew her skin was soft as velvet when you touched it, her lips were soft and full of passion. Her
eyes danced with a light no one else saw when they touched. There was another person hidden inside
the cold exterior she wore, and only Remus seemed to be able to bring it out.

Remus found himself thinking of her more and more. It was the most unlikely pairing the world
could ever have thought of, the two of them. For Remus, it was quickly becoming more than wanting
to see her. He found himself wondering what she was thinking, what she was feeling. He cared about
her, and it scared him to death. He wished desperately she thought about him half as much as he
thought about her.

*******************

Autumn handed Lily another tissue. Lily took it gratefully and blew her nose, then tossed the
crumpled tissue into the quickly growing pile on the table.

“I'm sorry,” Lily squeaked for the thousandth time.

“Don't be,” Autumn said. “I miss her too, Lily-bean.”

Lily closed her eyes and stifled another sob. She felt like a sniveling baby, but she
couldn't seem to stop crying.

“Lily. . . . .” Autumn stopped and thought about her words. “Lily, you can't. . .”

Autumn stopped again and took a deep breath. Lily looked up at the pother girl.

“Is this where you tell me to move on? To leave Sara behind in the ground and get on with my
life? Because I can't just leave Sara behind!”

“No, Lily!” Autumn said desperately. “Move on, yes, but carry Sara in your thoughts and in your
heart. But you can't stop living just because Sara did! Don't let whoever killed her claim
one more victim!”

Utter silence followed this remark. Lily stared at Autumn with open eyes, and Autumn was
horribly afraid she'd said the wrong thing. *It wasn't meant to come out like that,*
she thought desperately. But it was too late. There are some things that cannot be taken back once
they're said.

Lily looked away from Autumn and stared around the room as though she was seeing it for the
first time. When she looked back at Autumn, her eyes were still red but her gaze was clear, strong
and *awake.*

“I need to talk to James,” Lily said. She stood and fled out the door before Autumn could speak.
Autumn bowed her head and prayed Lily was coming out of the darkness at last.

*******************

Remus had finally gone to bed, and Sirius and James were left alone. The embers of the fire
glowed deep in the fireplace, casting a little light through the room. It was very early in the
morning now. Neither boy had much to say, so they just kept playing chess. They were comforted by
the other's presence even though neither spoke.

A stair creaked and both swiveled around to see Lily standing on the bottom step. James and
Sirius rose as one and looked at her, at a loss on what to say. Lily licked her lips and stared at
them both.

“I need to talk to James,” she said. Her voice was quiet but very firm. She meant alone. She did
not look at Sirius as he passed her on his way upstairs, even though he looked at her. She kept her
gaze firmly on James.

Lily waited until she heard the faint click of the door shutting Sirius upstairs. Now they were
alone, and for all their determination to talk to one another, both suddenly found themselves with
absolutely nothing to say.

*Ah, the land of awkward silences. We seem to get here a lot,* James thought. He fidgeted
in his place, casting his mind about for something to say. But it was Lily who found her voice
first.

“I'm not ready to talk about it yet,” she said. James looked at her; he knew what `it'
meant.

“I just wanted to say, that when I am ready, I want you to be the one I talk to,” Lily finished
quietly. She looked at the floor, as though she expected James to laugh at her.

James crossed over to her and gently folded her into his arms. Lily's arms went around him
and he felt the tension slowly leave her body. She didn't cry; James would have been surprised
if she had any tears left.

“I'm here, Lily,” James whispered.

“That's all I need to know,” she said.

They gently rocked back and forth, holding each other. Lily sniffled a few times, but did not
cry. She was done with crying.

“You know,” James said slowly,” I still owe you a Hogsmede trip.” Lily raised her head to look
at him. “If that's ok,” he finished nervously. Lily's sudden smile was like a beam of
sunshine to his heart.

“It's perfect,” she said. James smiled back at her and gently kissed her. Lily wrapped her
arms tighter around him as they lost themselves in the moment.

********************

Sirius lay on his bed, the hangings hiding him from view. Remus' deep breathing and
Peter's snores were the only sounds in the room. He was in the thrilling process of memorizing
the ceiling pattern when he remembered that he'd left his chess set downstairs.

Sirius hopped out of bed and tiptoes down the stairs. He hit the landing and stopped cold. Lily
and James were in a passionate embrace, completely lost in each other.

His nails were digging into the palms of his hands. Seeing them together stung his heart, but
Sirius couldn't tear his eyes away. He wanted things to be different so *he* could be the
one kissing Lily.

*But this is the way things are, Padfoot old boy. This picture doesn't concern you
anymore. Let it go,* his mind advised him. Sirius closed his eyes, but when he opened them they
were still there, kissing.

Sirius turned and silently went back upstairs.



29. Snowball Soldiers
---------------------



**Chapter 27: Snowball Soldiers**

--------- 3 Days Later ---------

Calista sighed. She hated tutoring, but Marcus Goyle's parents were determined he pass, so
they paid her well. And it was just Astronomy.

“OK,” she said, “that will do it for tonight.”

“Whatever,” Marcus said carelessly. Calista wanted to smack him across the face, but restrained
herself.

“Next week, ok?” she asked

Marcus just shrugged, gathered his books, and sauntered off. Calista gave serious consideration
to hexing his back, but she heard footsteps behind her and figured it was Madame Pince, so it
probably wasn't a good idea.

“Ungrateful brat,” she muttered.

“Don't you just hate those?” She spun around. Her heart lifted and a small smile played
across her lips.

“Remus! What are you doing here?” she asked quietly.

“I just wanted to see you,” he said.

Calista stared at him blankly. *He wanted to see . . . no way.* Remus reached out and
touched a lock of her lank hair, the grabbed her roughly and pulled her into a kiss. The thrill ran
up and down Calista's spine as she kissed him back. She really couldn't afford to take this
kind of risk. She was being watched, and she knew it.

She broke away from Remus and looked around. “We can't do this here,” she said
fervently.

“Why are you so afraid for us to be seen together?” Remus asked.

“How can you not be?!”

“Look, Calista,” Remus moved toward her, “I don't understand exactly how we got to this yet,
but here we are.”

*He said `us.' He thinks about us as together. Ooohhhh. . .* As happy as that thought
made her, Calista had to stop this conversation before it went any further.

“What about your friends? And mine? Can you just imagine what everyone will say?”

Remus' face went cold. “I didn't think you lived your life on what others think.” He
brushed past her and swept out of the library. Calista watched him go, dying to run after him. She
hated this. Remus was the bright spot in her life, yet she couldn't let it shine unless they
were hidden in that moldy old shack. She had to escape this life. The question was how to do
it?

Remus left the library, his face burning. Why had he bothered seeking her out at all? The crazy
idea had popped into his head at the last minute, and now look what had happened. And to think, he
had actually considered asking her to Hogsmeade. . .

He was running late. He ran down to the entrance hall and saw everyone already there, waiting
for him. The twins, Sirius, James, Lily, and Peter.

“Sorry I'm late,” he huffed.

“Where have you been, mate?” Sirius asked. “We've been looking everywhere for you!” His
voice was harsher than normal, and taking a quick glance at James and Lily, Remus thought he knew
why. They were very affectionate together; not overly cuddly, but enough so the world knew they
were together again. His heart went out to Sirius, yet he also felt his dear buddy Padfoot needed
to move on already.

“Everyone ready to go now?” Spike asked.

“Yeah, let's blow this pop stand,” Autumn said in her fake New York accent. Everyone
laughed; her accent was atrocious.

“Hey!” Autumn said. She tried her best to look offended, but it didn't work and she broke
into hysterical laughter, leaning on Remus for support.

“Autumn,” Lily said quietly, “you have enough problems speaking regular English, don't go
into American. Our ears can't take it.” Everyone stopped and stared at Lily.

“What?” she said, looking around at them all. “I can tell a joke, can't I?”

Everyone burst into laughter, silently welcoming what seemed to be the return of their Lily.
James wrapped his arm around Lily's shoulders and shot Remus the happiest of looks. Remus
smiled back, very happy for his friends. But his mind was still on the strange girl he'd left
upstairs. . .

Calista watched them go down the path towards the village together, all of them as happy as one
could be. She felt her heart burn as she watched that silly Autumn girl lean on Remus as she
laughed. Did no one else notice how she flipped her hair, trying to catch his eye? Why didn't
someone say something about it?!

*Because no one knows about you,* her mind whispered, *and if they did, they'd think
it was a joke. Remember, Calista, you are still nothing to the world.*

“Right,” she said to herself. There were footsteps behind her again, and she decided to leave.
She gathered her books to her chest and hurried out of the library, keeping her head down.

She entered the hallway and was thrust into the bustling throng of students, most making their
way to the entrance hall to go to Hogsmeade. She allowed herself to be jostled about by the people
who never noticed her anyway.

She looked up to see Severus Snape standing at the end of the hall. *Oh God, not today.* It
was too late; he had already seen her and was clearly waiting for her. It was times like this she
thought almost longingly of the knife Narcissa had given her. She had spent too many hours in dark
corners with Severus Snape not to think of it. However, she would play her part. For now.

“Afternoon, Severus,” she said coolly.

“Hello, Cali,” he sneered. He had taken to calling her that lately, and it annoyed her to no
end. She tried not to shudder as his eyes traveled up and down the length of her body. She knew now
why he had waited, and wondered if there was any hope in avoiding it today.

“Not today, Severus.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Not today?” he mocked her. “In case you've forgotten, you
don't particularly have a choice in the matter.”

“Why are you making me do this,” Calista asked in a low voice. “I'm part of this now. How
much longer do you expect this to go on?”

Severus smiled a horrible, cold smile and leaned forward to whisper in her ear.

“You are my gift from the Master. It is through my grace you live at all.” He took her hand and
not so gently led her into a dark, empty classroom. Calista did her best to force Remus' face
from her mind. It gave her hope to think that one day, school would end. Maybe this would end too,
someday. There was always hope.

~~~@~~~~~@~~~~@~~~~~~@~~~

The snow crunched under the feet of the Marauders and Co. as they entered the village. Sirius
and Spike were entertaining the group with impressions of various teachers. They were walking down
the main street trying to decide where to go, when the decision was unanimously decided by the
boys. With one voice they cried out:

“ZONKO'S!!!”

There was a mad stampede as they hurtled toward the prankster's Mecca. Lily and Autumn were
left standing in their dust with very amused expressions on their faces.

“That's ok,” Lily called halfheartedly. “We'll just wait here!” The only answer she
received was the tinkling bell as the door to Zonko's swung closed. Lily turned to Autumn.

“We're never going to see them again, are we?”

Autumn laughed and put her arm around Lily. “Who needs `em? We'll just wander until James
comes to his senses and tries to find you. The other boys will follow eventually. How about a
butterbeer?”

“Perfect!” Lily cried. “I'm freezing! I'll be a Lily-cicle before long.”

“A what?” Autumn laughed.

“You know. Frozen Lily. Human popsicle. Where have you been?” Lily rubbed her hands together and
wished she had thought to bring her gloves. Autumn laughed, even though her teeth were also
chattering from the cold

“I bet James would have a great time with a Lily-cicle,” she grinned. Lily's jaw dropped as
she stopped to stare at Autumn, who doubled over laughing from the look on her friend's face.
“You should see your face,” Autumn choked out. “It's great!”

“Oh. My. God!!” Lily smacked Autumn on the arm with each word, but she was smiling. “You are as
bad as the boys are sometimes!”

“Who, me? NEVER!” Autumn tried to pull off her look - at - innocent - me face and failed
miserably.

Lily scooped up a handful of snow, threw it at Autumn and the snowball fight was on. They
shrieked and laughed in the middle of the road, tossing fistfuls of snow back and forth.

“Oi! The girls are having a snowball fight without us!!” Lily glanced up to see Spike leaning
out the door to Zonko's. “Hurry up, men!” With that, Spike charged headfirst into the fray and
joined Lily in pelting his sister with snow.

“Hey! Two on one! No fair,” Autumn cried.

“Since when are you chicken?” Spike grinned.

“Oh, bring it on, tough guy,” Autumn challenged. Spike winked and was about to retaliate when a
large snowball hit him in the side of his face. They turned to see Remus, James and Sirius running
at them, gathering snow as they ran. In seconds it had become an every-man for himself free for
all. They took up the entire street with their snowball fight and soon, people from other houses
and even a few villagers had joined in the fray.

In the midst of the madness, James made his way over to Lily and grabbed her hand. He grinned
and put a finger to his lips, then silently led her away from the chaos into a narrow alley.

“Come with me,” he said softly. “I have something I want to show you.” Lily laughed and latched
onto his arm as he led her away from the main village and into the hills.

“OK, James, where are we going?” Lily asked for the hundredth time in 10 minutes.

“WOMAN! Be patient!” James laughed.

“But it's coooold!” Lily jumped up and down hugging herself.

James laughed and pulled Lily into his arms. “Better?”

“Hmm,” Lily pretended to think. “Could be warmer.”

“Really,” James said as he leaned towards her.

“Yeah.”

“Is this helping?” he whispered against her lips.

“Mmm-hmmm,” she murmured. Lily pulled James even closer and gave herself over to his kisses.
They spread out from her center like ripples on a pond, making her head spin and her limbs go
deliciously weak.

“Weren't we going somewhere?” she asked when they finally broke apart.

“Actually, no,” James said. “I just wanted to get you to myself for a bit.”

“So, you make me walk in the cold for hours and hours?”

“We walked for ten minutes!!” James exclaimed! “Wuss!”

Laughing, Lily pushed James backwards on the snow but he grabbed her wrist at the last second
and pulled her down with him. They tumbled together into the snow, laughing like children.

“I wanted you alone because I wanted to give you something,” James said as they calmed down.

“What is it?” Lily asked.

James reached into his pocket. “I just want you to have this,” he gently took hold of her hand,”
so you remember that you aren't alone anymore.” He dropped a small silver ring with the
initials L & J engraved in fancy script. On the inner band of the ring was another inscription:
*I love you always. ~James*

Lily felt happy tears spring to her eyes as she slid the ring on her right hand. She knew she
had found an amazing person in James, something she had never expected.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Of course,” James whispered as he nuzzled her neck.

Lily smiled and kissed James again as light snow began to fall around them.

The brave snowball soldiers trooped into the Three Broomsticks, desperate for something warm.
Spike, Autumn, Sirius and Remus sat at a large table by the window and ordered a round of
butterbeers.

“Anyone notice we lost a couple people?” Remus asked as he shook several inches of snow out of
his hair.

“You mean James and Lily?” Autumn said. “I buried them alive under the snow.”

“Shut up!” Remus tossed his napkin in her general direction.

“Seriously,” Sirius said.

“They snuck off during the war,” Spike said.

“Oh.” Sirius became very interested in examining his drink, which of course everyone noticed but
all were too tactful to mention.

Autumn cleared her throat. “So. . .” Naturally, she couldn't find anything to say. The
silence was thick and uncomfortable. Sirius stared into his glass, Autumn fiddled with the napkin
Remus has tossed her, Spike's lips twitched, and Remus played with a loose thread on his
robes.

“So . . . what did you guys get at Zonko's?” Autumn finally asked.

“Oh, man!” Spike cried. Sirius and Remus broke into laughter.

“We left our stuff there to join the snowball fight,” Sirius said. He looked much more relaxed
all of a sudden. He and Spike rose from their chairs, Spike chugging his entire butterbeer in one
gulp.

“Now you're going to burp,” Autumn grinned at her twin. Spike just winked at her.

“We'll be back,” Sirius said.

“We'll miss you,” Remus joked. Sirius paused and glared at his friend.

“Eat dirt, Moony.”

“That's it?! That's the best comeback you could come up with?!” Remus cried to their
retreating backs.

“Well, that was fun,” he commented after they had made their exit.

“Here's to the randomness.” Autumn raised her glass.

“Cheers,” Remus smiled. He clinked his glass with Autumn's and took a swig of
butterbeer.

“So, what are your plans for the holidays?” Autumn asked.

“Loaf about the castle and pretend to look cool. You?”

“Pretty much the same thing,” she said. “Spike and I decided to have a peaceful Christmas,
instead of dealing with the annual family reunion.”

“Peace? At Hogwarts?” Remus raised an eyebrow at her.

“Hey, I can dream,” Autumn said defensively. Remus chuckled and leaned back in his chair. He
surveyed Autumn momentarily.

“You're staying to keep an eye on Lily.” It wasn't a question.

“Yeah,” she admitted. “I won't breathe until school is over.”

“You're a good friend,” Remus said quietly.

“I try to be,” she said. Autumn looked Remus in the eye, and another silence fell; but this one
was very different from the one before. Remus broke his gaze away from her and took another sip of
his drink. The talk turned to simpler things, and they stayed together in the warmth of the bar
enjoying each other's company.



30. One Week Later
------------------



------------------ One Week Later ---------------

“CHRISTMAS VACATION ROCKS MY SOCKS!! WOOOO!!!!”

Sirius's yells rang through the Great Hall, earning a few appreciative laughs from the
students that remained for the holidays. Sirius caught sight of James, Lily, Peter and Remus
gathered at their usual table, and he wandered over to greet them.

“Gee, Padfoot, tell us how you really feel” James quipped.

“Yeah, we somehow didn't quite catch that,” Peter said.

“Oh. All right then.” Sirius jumped onto the table, cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled
at the top of his lungs.

“CHRISTMAS VACATION ROC--” Remus and James tackled Sirius and they collapsed on the table,
knocking over plates and goblets.

“Get off me! You asked!” Sirius cried. “Get OFF!” The boys laughed and kept wrestling on the
table top.

“Cripes,” Peter muttered. “Bloody children, they are.” Amid all the commotion, however, no one
heard him. He got up from the table just as James' elbow overturned his plate full of food.
Lily was red in the face, clutching her ribs and trying to breathe through her laughter.

“OH, it hurts! It hurts!” she cried. Tears of mirth were streaming down her face.

“Then stop laughing” Peter grinned.

“I can't!” Lily doubled over and clutched Peter's arm for support, her laughter out of
control. Peter smiled and gently patted her back.

“It's going to be ok, Lily. We have a nice room for you, with soft padded walls,” Peter said
encouragingly. Lily laughed even harder and leaned fully onto Peter. She was so close he could
smell her hair. . .

“Oh my lord.” The twins had arrived Autumn was staring open-mouthed at the scene before her.
Spike's eyes were alive with excitement.

“Excellent!” He looked at his sister, who grinned and nodded.

“BONZAI!” Spike yelled.

“DOG PILE!!” Autumn screamed. They both launched themselves from where they stood three feet
from the table, flew through the air, and cannonballed themselves onto the pile of wrestling boys.
Their collision caused the entire table to turn over onto its side and everyone spilled onto the
floor.

Lily and Peter were both in complete hysterics; clutching each other and watching the pile of
people roll around on the ground amid dishes and food and spilled drink.

“Well, look at the simpletons acting like their pig forefathers.” The wrestling and laughter
stopped. Standing behind Lily and peter were Bellatrix, Lucius, Severus and Calista. Lily's
grip on Peter's arm tightened and she went noticeably pale. She couldn't take her eyes off
of Lucius; the pale monster of her nightmares.

“Get bent, Malfoy.” Spike was the first to stand and pull out his wand. James went to stand
behind Lily and put his hands on her shoulders. Sirius was at her side, Autumn and Remus behind
Spike. All had their wands out except Lily, who was frozen, and Peter, whom no one noticed.

“Now, now, children,” Bellatrix said. “We wouldn't want to cause a ruckus in the Great Hall
. . . with witnesses!” she said pointedly to Lucius. Lucius acknowledged her with a graceful nod of
his head.

“We just came to say, Happy Christmas,” he said sarcastically. He let his eyes trail to Lily
before he turned and led his band of Slytherins out of the Hall.

“I can't believe they didn't expel him!” Autumn was so angry she was shaking, her wand
emitting blue sparks uncontrollably. Remus put a soothing hand on her arm and gently took her wand
away from her.

“His parents went to the school governors,” Spike said softly.

“Figures,” Sirius muttered. “I guess money really can buy everything.”

“But Lily gave her testimony to the governors,” Remus said.

“They passed it off as lies,” Spike said.

“How can they pass off what happened as lies?!” Sirius exclaimed. “He attacked her! We all saw
him!”

“I wonder why we weren't called as witnesses,” Remus wondered.

“Malfoy's parents pinned the entire thing on Lily's medication and even convinced the
school governors she had hurt herself during her reaction.” Spike was quiet, but the fury was
evident in his voice.

“Can we please talk about something else,” James said sharply. Everyone turned; Lily was still
very white and was staring at the floor with a heartbroken look on her face.

“Sorry, Lily-girl,” Sirius said quietly. The others muttered their apologies behind him.

“Let's go take a walk, love.” James held out his hand to Lily, and she took it gratefully.
James nodded to the others as they left the Great Hall together.

“And here I was thinking the worst was over,” Autumn said. No one else said anything, but they
were all thinking along the same lines. They had been living in a peaceful dreamland, and now they
were back to the harsh reality. Whatever was happening between the two groups, it wasn't
over.

~~Christmas Eve ~~

The pale gray light of the early dawn crept into the Shrieking Shack. Remus stretched and opened
his eyes.

“Why am I always on the floor? You'd think I'd have the sense to fall asleep on the
friggin bed!!” he muttered aloud. There was a snort of laughter from above him and as he rolled
over, he saw Calista sitting, cross-legged on the bed.

“I didn't think you'd be here,” he said softly and Calista just shrugged.

“I didn't think you wanted me here,” she said softly as she fiddled with a large hole in the
thin blanket, not looking at him.

It was the day after the third night of the full moon. Remus had become very accustomed to
having Calista there when he woke up, indeed, he even looked forward to having her there, but the
past two days he had awakened to no one. He told himself that it was all right that she wasn't
there, that these morning visits didn't mean much and besides, he was mad at her. Yet here she
was, and his heart was warmed by the sight of her.

“It's good to see you,” he said now, even softer than he had spoken before.

“I thought you were mad at me,” she said.

“I was.”

Calista's eyes flicked to his face, “Oh,” then darted back to the blanket. Remus grabbed his
cloak and wrapped it around himself like a toga, then sat next to Calista on the bed.

“What's wrong?”

“You keep asking me that!” she cried frustrated. “There is nothing wrong!”

“Then why won't you be seen with me? Why won't you talk to me in school? Why do you
insist we hide ourselves in this miserable little hovel?”

Calista had gone very still, her fingers no longer twiddling with the blanket. To Remus, she
looked even paler than normal. *I wonder if she's sick?*

“What we have . . .” her voice was very small. It sounded as though she had rehearsed what she
was about to say a thousand times.

“What we have is not supposed to be,” she said. “This is wrong. You know we don't belong
together. We're too different. We—“

Remus silenced her with a small, delicate kiss. He pulled back just enough to whisper to her
before he kissed her again.

“I don't care.”

~ Christmas Morning ~

“This is so not cool!” Sirius yelled. It was Christmas morning and he was finding himself in a
bit of a tangle.

“I am not kidding! Lily! Autumn! Knock it off!”

“Aww, c'mon, Padfoot old boy.” James voice was coming from somewhere on Sirius's left
side. “Don't tell me you think having two gorgeous girls tie you up is a bad thing!!”

“When I imagined being tied up, it wasn't like this!!!”

In a moment of child-like Christmas spirit, Lily and Autumn had decided to take all their
ribbons and paper from their now-unwrapped gifts and turn Sirius into a human gift. He was covered
from head to toe with wrapping paper and now the girls were finishing the whole thing off by tying
a large red sating bow around Sirius's midriff. Peter and Remus were not helping matters any;
they kept bringing the girls more wrapping paper to use.

“This is the most insulting thing. . .” Sirius grumbled. In truth, he actually didn't care.
The situation actually struck him as being very funny, but he felt that if he didn't protest,
he'd never live it down.

“Turn him around,” he heard Lily say and felt himself being lifted off the ground. He was turned
in the air until he found himself facing his friends, with Spike dead center holding his
camera.

“Aww, man!” Too late. Spike had snapped the picture already. He took several more as well,
Sirius making faces for the last few.

“Let's go! “ Peter cried.

“Hey, Pete, this party is just getting started,” Spike said. Peter cringed inside; he hated
being called Peter almost as much as Calista hated being called Cali, though he did not know
this.

“But it's time to eat,” he whined. “FOOOOOOD!!”

“Food? Where?!” Sirius swiveled his head back and forth as though looking for food. James
cracked up at the sight of his best friend with a bow in his hair.

“I've got to send a picture of this to my mom,” he said.

“Oh, good. Give Natalie more ammunition to torment me with!!” Sirius groaned and closed his eyes
in complete mortification. Since Sirius had moved in with James, Natalie Potter had never ceased to
tease him about anything and everything. She said she was making up for the first sixteen years of
his life, and Sirius loved every second of it. Natalie was more of a mother to him than his own had
ever been.

“OK, people, you've had your fun,” he said. “Now unwrap me so I can go eat.”

“Depends on what we'll find when we unwrap you,” Autumn said slyly.

“EEW!” James, Remus, Peter and Spike cried out in unison.

“Autumn!” Lily gasped.

“What?” Autumn said innocently. “I'm just curious!”

“I'm leaving,” Lily said. She left the room trying very hard not to let her imagination run
away with her. *Bad Lily. Baaad Lily. . .*

“Wait up Lily-bean!” James was right behind her. He grabbed her just as they reached the
portrait hole, picked her up from behind and swung her around in a circle before kissing her head
and setting her down again. Laughing, Lily took his hand and led him into the hallway.

“Tough luck, Padfoot,” Peter said as he followed Lily and James.

“You guys can't leave me here!!” Sirius yelped. “Come on!”

Spike said nothing; he just laughed his way outside. Remus and Autumn were left holding each
other and laughing at Sirius

“Please unwrap me,” he said in his most pitiful voice.

“Hmmm,” Remus said. “I think you look cute like that, Black.”

“When I get out of this. . .”

“If you get out of this,” Remus interjected.

Sirius sighed and turned imploring eyes to Autumn. “Please?” he begged her. Autumn grinned and
pretended not to hear him.

“All right. Autumn, if you unwrap me I'll give you chocolate!”

Autumn was on him in a flash, tearing at the wrapping paper while Remus tried not to have a
heart attack from laughing. Sirius's limbs were free in seconds.

“Thank you!” Sirius flung his arms around Autumn and stuck his tongue out at Remus. She stopped
him when he reached for the bow in his hair.

“The bow stays,” she insisted.

“You're on crack, woman,” Sirius retorted.

“Want some?” she offered

Sirius, Autumn and Remus cracked up. They were completely in the Christmas spirit and didn't
mind being extra-silly.

“FOOD!!” Sirius ran screaming from the common room and out the portrait hole; tearing the bow
from his hair and flinging it back inside as he went. Remus and Autumn could hear him screaming for
food all the way down the hall. Remus laughed at his friend's antics as he crossed to Autumn
and offered her a hand.

“Thanks,” she said as he helped her up. “Hey Remus. . . “

“Yeah?”

“Remember, back in the Three Broomsticks. . . “

“Yeah.” Remus grinned. He had a feeling he knew what was coming, and was very eager for it.

“Remember what we talked about?”

“No. Not at all. Uh-uh.”

“Oh,” Autumn said. “Well, we were—“

“I remember idiot!” Remus laughed and Autumn playfully swatted him on the arm.

“Prat!”

“Of course I will,” Remus said. Autumn's eyes widened at she couldn't help smiling a
big, goofy grin.

“Really?” she squealed. “Oh Remus, you're amazing!” She squeezed Remus in a bone-crushing
hug and planted a big kiss on his cheek.

“We just have to keep this quiet,” he said when she had let him go.

“Naturally.” Autumn dropped him a wink and they went down to the Great Hall together.

********

The woods were darker than normal tonight. There were none of the sounds that usually
accompanied the forest, only this low, unearthly chant. Calista tried to see what was happening,
but she couldn't move. Thick ropes were binding her to something hard and cold that felt like
stone, but she wasn't entirely sure. Her heart was pounding in her ears and she wished that
whoever was making that awful racket would stop.

A figure appeared in the darkness, tall and hooded. Calista was paralysed with the fear that she
would see red eyes burning like hellfire under that hood, but it was too dark to tell. The person
raised their right hand into the air and then spoke to the night in a voice Calista knew but could
not quite place.

“Behold the sacrifice!”

The hand plunged down and Calista did not realize they were holding a knife until it was buried
deep inside her belly. She screamed; there had never in her life been pain like this; and at that
moment there was a flash of lightening and Calista looked up into the cold, dead eyes of Sara
Brown. She screamed again and looked around her dormitory's room in terror.

She was drenched in sweat, the bedclothes tangled at her feet and her heart pounding as though
she had run a marathon. She leaned back against the pillows and brushed her damp hair away from her
head with a shaking hand. Her stomach had apparently decided to join a gymnastics team by the flips
it was doing inside of her and if it didn't stop soon she was going to be ill all over her
bed.

Calista's nightmares were growing steadily worse. This last was so vivid she could have
sworn the hills were actually alive with the sound of music. *OK, time to get a decent potion for
dreamless sleep.* Yes, that was a good idea. She could make up some excuse to the nurse and then
the dreams would go away.

She tossed the tangled blankets off of her and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She
stepped into the moonlight and saw what it had been too dark to see earlier: the rope burns on her
arms and legs.

**********

Christmas dinner had come and gone and night found Sirius, Autumn, Remus, James and Lily
gathered around the fire in their common room, just relaxing and enjoying each other's company.
Peter had gone to bed ages ago and even Spike had crashed early. The boys were singing Christmas
carols at the top of their lungs, changing the lyrics to suit themselves. Lily and Autumn were in
hysterics not just because of the words, but from the singing itself. What Sirius lacked in pitch
he made up for in volume and his off-key caterwauling echoed off the walls with gusto.

After the last verse of “Oh Golden Snitch” (sung to the tune of “Oh Holy Night”) had been sung,
Lily yawned and stretched her arms over her head.

“So tired,” she mumbled.

“Guess that means Lily's done for the day,” Remus said.

“Oh yeah,” Lily replied. She stood and kissed James on his forehead. “Night.”

“Night, love,” James whispered.

Lily waved to the others and made her way up the stairs, very eager to greet her bed. James
stood as well.

“I think I'm done too,” he said.

“Before you go, I have something to show you,” Sirius said, leapt top his feet and gestured for
James to follow him outside.

“Uh-oh.” James rolled his eyes at Remus before following Sirius into the hall. Once the portrait
had swung shut behind them, Autumn turned to Remus.

“How come we never get to play?” she asked. Remus just shrugged; he was too tired to even think
straight. Autumn, however, was completely wired.

“Did you do it?” she asked.

“Of course I did,” Remus said. He pointed with his wand to the ceiling. Autumn followed and her
face widened into a huge grin.

“Do you think it'll actually work, Remus?”

“Well, I've heard better plans, to be perfectly honest,” he said. “But I've also heard
worse. We'll see soon, won't we? DO you know what you're going to say?”

“Not a clue,” Autumn said nervously. “I was thinking I'll just wing it.”

“Wing it?”

“Yeah, you know, improvise.”

“Lord help us.” Remus raised his eyes to the heavens and prayed for mercy. Autumn laughed and
threw a piece of chocolate at him. Remus caught it in his hands and grinned at Autumn.

“I think you're going to want that.” He tossed it back to Autumn, who gave him her
mischievous grin.

“Dirty!” she scolded him.

“You know it. I'm off.” Remus hopped over the back of the sofa and wandered over to his
staircase. “Have fun.” He winked at Autumn over his shoulder before he disappeared up the stairs,
the sound of her laughter following him as he went.

*************

“OK, Padfoot, what's going on?”

Sirius sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I --- well, I don't have anything to
show you. I just wanted to talk,” he said to the floor. James folded his arms and leaned casually
against the wall.

“So talk.”

“It's about Lily.”

Sirius could feel James go tense, even though the boy didn't move at all. James didn't
say anything, so Sirius took a deep breath and plunged ahead.

“I just want you to know it's over.”

James gave Sirius a very confused look. “I'm lost.”

“What I feel - what I felt,” Sirius quickly corrected himself, “that's all passed now. Lily
is just. . . Lily to me now. I don't have those feelings for her any more. That's behind me
now. I just wanted to let you know,” Sirius finished quietly, once again looking at the floor.
James was still for a moment, considering what his best friend had just told him. Sirius held his
breath while he waited for James to respond.

James grinned and smacked Sirius on the arm.

“Breath a little, Padfoot. All is well,” James said happily. Sirius let out his breath and
smiled at his best friend, the past neatly buried at last.

“So, we're ok?” Sirius just wanted to make sure James had swallowed his lies.

“Of course we are,” James reassured him. Sirius slung his arm around James' neck and they
walked back into the common room together. They found that everyone had gone to bed except Autumn.
She was lounging on the couch, tossing empty candy wrappers into the fire.

“Was it cool?” she asked.

“Huh?” The boys exchanged confused looks.

“What Sirius wanted to show you,” she said to James. “Was it cool?”

“Oh!” The mental light bulb went on inside James' head. “No, it was completely lame,
actually.” James ducked to avoid getting hit in the head by Sirius and ran laughing up the stairs
to his dorm room.

“Slytherin wannabe!” Sirius called after him. He turned to Autumn, who was giving him a very
strange look. “What?”

“Your insults have more bark than bite,” she said.

“That's a nice way of putting it.”

“You're right. They suck.”

“Thanks, Autumn.”

“Anytime.”

Sirius plopped onto the sofa next to her and looked from Autumn to the fire and back again.
“Having fun?”

“Loads.”

“Hey now,” Sirius held up his hands. “Let's stop this crazy whirligig of fun. I'm
dizzy.”

“Shut up,” Autumn smiled. “Hey, you owe me chocolate, Black! Don't think I haven't
forgotten.”

“True and I always repay my debts,” Sirius said gallantly. He searched his pockets but came up
empty. He grinned sheepishly at Autumn.

“My supply seems to have run out,” he said.

“I feel robbed,” Autumn said. She leaned her head back against the sofa and gazed at the
ceiling. A tiny smile played upon her lips. “Of course, there are other ways to pay me back.”

“Such as?” Sirius was suddenly suspicious. If this was one of Autumn's pranks. . .

Autumn just smiled and pointed to the ceiling. Sirius looked up and inwardly groaned.
Mistletoe.

“You planned this,” he said accusingly.

“Who me?” Her false innocent act never worked, but Sirius had to admit she was very cute when
she tried to do it.

“Yes, you,” he said pointedly.

“Hey I didn't put it there,” she said. Sirius kept looking at her until she cracked. “Remus
did.”

“That little--! I swear, he's as bad as a woman sometimes.”

“What is that supposed to mean?!”

“Nothing,” Sirius said quickly. Autumn continued to glare at him so to divert her from killing
him he said the first thing that came into his head.

“If you kill me, how am I supposed to kiss you?”

“Who said anything about kissing?” Autumn asked coyly.

“I just assume that's what one does when one is under mistletoe,” Sirius said, playing
along.

“Oh, well, I'd hate to break tradition.”

“Me too,” Sirius said quietly. It was just one kiss, it couldn't hurt.

Sirius and Autumn did not make it to their beds until the early hours of the morning. Both went
to sleep much happier than either had expected.

*********************

It had been a wonderful Christmas, full of laughter and smiles. For the first time in a long
time, there was a day with no problems, no worries. There was no whisper from the shadows to hint
of the darkness that was to come, only light. It was the perfect day.
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31. January Walks...
--------------------



**Chapter 29: January Walks and Another Azkaban Interlude**

By the time school resumed in January, the snow had lost its splendor and the students were
wishing for summer to bring its warmth to them again. It was bitterly cold and dank, the snow
nothing more than slush now and even the sun itself brought no warmth.

Lily was standing by Sara's tombstone again. The wind whipped her hair away from her face
and stung her eyes, but she was still here, same as always. But this time . . . this time, Lily
found herself with nothing to say. Oh, there was plenty to talk about in her life, but what to say?
That was the tricky part.

*Should I tell Sara about how happy I am these days? How James makes the sun shine? How
thinking about you doesn't hurt me anymore?* Lily didn't have the heart to fully admit
it yet, but she was moving on and Sarah was becoming a memory. A precious, wonderful memory that
Lily would hold dear to all her life, but still, just a memory. It happened to all the dead,
eventually. They were always left behind.

*******************

James stood behind a large pillar and watched Lily stand by Sara's grave. *She doesn't
realize how beautiful she is,* he thought. Her devotion to her friends was one of the many
things James adored about Lily. Yet her refusal to move on from past events both touched and
worried him: touched because of her obvious love for Sara, worried because she seemed scarred by a
deeper evil he did not yet know about. Whatever Lucius had done to her was severe enough that Lily
didn't seem whole yet. She still had not healed, and the worst part was that if she continued
to stay silent, James wasn't sure if he could help her.

*******************

The raven watched as Sirius stepped out into the chill air and took a deep breath, his head
thrown back and eyes closed. He stepped off the path, as he always did, and wandered through ankle
deep snow. He didn't seem to be going anywhere; he was just walking. The raven followed, as
always, but it was bored with this assignment and wanted something more to do than follow the boy
around like a shadow. His master, however, was a harsh master, and so he followed. To what point,
he did not know. To the raven, however, the ending did not matter as long as the journey was
interesting enough. The wiles of humans never interested him much anyway.

Humans, he had learned, were petty creatures. They had become so accustomed to achieving their
own desires that they had forgotten how to survive. Simple-minded beings, they seemed. Survival
would come back to them soon enough. If it didn't, the humans would never survive what the red
eyes would bring them.

Once again, that was not the raven's problem. It raven had to survive, and so it watched,
nothing more than an ink black shadow against the driven snow, never noticed but always there. The
spy for the monsters.

*****************

Sirius just walked with no destination in mind. In the past, these walks were taken to clear his
mind of the turmoil that lived there. This walk, however, was just for him to enjoy the day. It had
been so long since he had enjoyed anything.

The ongoing war between his group of Gryffindors and Severus' Slytherins had seemed to reach
a kind of stalemate. The Slytherins had reduced their hatred to condescending glares across the
Great Hall, which Sirius and his comrades found it very easy to ignore. In the back of his mind, he
knew that the Slytherins were just waiting for something, but Sirius was too caught up in the new
whirl of life to care.

Lily Evans still danced in the fevered heat of his dreams. There, no James existed to stand
between Sirius and the red-haired vixen his heart so longed for. In the dark watches of the night,
Lily was all his.

Yet daylight brought another story, one Sirius had never expected. Since Christmas Day, he had
found himself drawn more and more to Autumn. Here was a spunky, vivacious, talented, sweet girl who
was clearly interested in him and had even gone so far as to drag Remus into her schemes to get
him. That fact alone made Sirius laugh: he, along with everyone else, had thought Autumn fancied
Remus! Imagine his surprise when, on confronting Remus on Boxing Day, he admitted that he was
merely trying to help Sirius notice Autumn.

“You look as though you could do with some laughter, and Autumn provides that in spades,” Remus
had said.

There was nothing solid between Sirius and Autumn yet; he was a bit nervous about it. It
didn't seem right to lead Autumn on, while lusting after her friend at night. However, Remus
had been right: Sirius was able to truly laugh with Autumn, something he had not done in a very
long time. Sirius was becoming attracted to her, although he didn't want to admit it.

Autumn was becoming the miracle.

*********************

The Great Hall was packed with students gorging themselves on food, shouts and laughter echoing
loudly off the walls. It left a ringing in Calista's ears; she did not enjoy being so lost in
such a mass of students. It always made her feel a bit claustrophobic. She ate silently, now and
then looking up from her plate to scan her fellow students. To the casual observer, it seemed as
though she was trying to find someone in the massive throng of people, but no one ever observed
Calista. None that she knew of, anyway.

Finally, during the desserts, a couple of chattering Ravenclaw girls left their table and
Calista was able to see him. He was reading a book over his empty ice cream bowl while others
talked around him. She took no notice of his friends; they were less than dirt to her. She only had
eyes for her werewolf.

*“What's wrong?”*

*“You keep asking me that!” she cried frustrated. “There is nothing wrong!”*

*“Then why won't you be seen with me? Why won't you talk to me in school? Why do you
insist we hide ourselves in this miserable little hovel?”*

*She had gone very still, her fingers no longer twiddling with the blanket.*

*“What we have . . .” her voice was very small She hoped it didn't sound too rehearsed,
even though she had spent hours in front of her mirror doing just that.*

*“What we have is not supposed to be,” she said. “This is wrong. You know we don't belong
together. We're too different. We—“*

*He silenced her with a small, delicate kiss. He pulled back just enough to whisper to her
before he kissed her again.*

*“I don't care.”*

That was her sunshine, her own source of light in the darkness of her world. Calista kept
crawling to that dilapidated little shack because those moments there belonged entirely to her and
Remus and not even Severus Snape could take them from her.

She was in love with Remus Lupin. Completely, absolutely, totally in love. His innocence amazed
her, his kindness warmed her soul. He was everything she was not, and yet she couldn't bear to
tear herself away from him, despite whatever consequences may come.

*"Close your heart, Calista, or you will just give them one more thing to destroy.
They're like locusts, destroying everything in their path until there's nothing left to
ruin. Only then will they finish each other. Then, maybe, the world will find peace. Until then,
survive. Do what you have to, cut out whom you must. Caring about anyone will only ruin their
life.*

Narcissa's words rang in her head, invading her thoughts. *No,* she thought.
*Narcissa is wrong. Loving Remus will not hurt* *him**, it will save*
*me**.* Calista sought out Narcissa now, finding her next to Lucius, who was thoroughly
ignoring her. So that was like being Narcissa Black: a trophy, a shadow to a man she did not love.
Narcissa may have surrendered, but Calista was—

A very familiar hand touched Calista's shoulder. She gritted her teeth but did not cry out
as she wanted to.

“Come with me,” Severus whispered into her ear. The feel of his breath on her made her skin
crawl, but there was nothing she could do. She no longer bothered protesting, it only made him
rougher.

She carefully placed her fork next to her plate, then whirled around and buried her knife into
Severus' neck. Blood gushed out, streaming over her hands and spraying the walls. She wrenched
the knife free and sank it again, this time into his chest. She watched his eyes glaze over,
becoming empty, becoming nothing, as he fell to his knees before her. Calista released her knife
and slowly turned to face to the Hogwarts students.

No one had paused in their movements; indeed, no one had even turned their way. They continued
with their meal, as happy as ever, completely uncaring that a murder had just been performed right
in front of their eyes. It did not matter to them, not at all. After all, the culprits were
Slytherins and what else could be expected of Slytherins but murder and hate. . .

Calista was screaming but making no sound, not only invisible as always but now not even audible
anymore. Why didn't they take notice of her? Was she so little to them that her taking of a
life meant nothing?

Remus was staring at her, hatred darkening his usually sweet face. Hate was not an expression
that suited Remus, it made him seem cold and ugly. Calista wanted to smack the expression off of
his face. How dare he look at her like that! As if he had the right to judge her actions. What did
he understand; he was just a lowly werewolf -

Calista put down her fork and her knife on either side of her plate, took one last swig of
pumpkin juice from her golden goblet and stood to face Severus. She placed her hand in his without
a word. She would not let him evoke any emotion from her; he would just use it against her
later.

When his fingers didn't close over hers right away, as they always did, she looked at his
face. Actually looked at his face, and what she saw startled her. By the sneering look he wore, it
was obvious he knew every detail of the fantasy she had just had. She couldn't read the other
part of his expression; did it almost seem like pity? But that was impossible because Calista knew
that Severus Snape could not feel anything, let alone pity. Besides, she didn't care if he
knew. She disappeared a little more each time he touched her; felt her life become darker with
every kiss. Didn't he realize he was making love to one already dead?

***************

Lily watched them go, her eyes especially focused on the tiny Calista. Lily prided herself on
being a fair, decent person; the only being she truly hated was Lucius Malfoy, and yet when she
looked at Calista . . . she evoked a feeling that Lily could not put to words. It was something
dark and sinister and even worse than that.

When Lily was twelve, she had come across Calista in the gardens, apparently tending to a dove
that had broken its wing. She had been cradling the injured bird in her hands, staring at it with
an almost compassionate look. Lily was very fond of animals, and also enjoyed the chance to talk to
people she felt had the same compassion. She saw that in Calista's eyes and was about to
approach the other girl when thin, pale hands swiftly clenched down on the bird, grasped the
unbroken wing and bent it until Lily heard a snap echo throughout the dry fall air. Lily had stood
hidden in the shadows, completely stunned that a human had the capability to be so cruel. What was
even stranger, and somehow horrifying, was that Calista's face mirrored what Lily was feeling,
as though hands and face belonged to two different beings. Lily had fled, silently, too afraid then
for a confrontation and was positive Calista had never realized she was being watched.

Lily had rarely had contact with Calista in the five years that had passed since that day,
speaking only when school demanded it. In fact, she made it a point to stay physically as far away
from Calista as possible. Lily believed in evil, she believed in the maliciousness of Lucius'
gang on miscreants in particular. It was no surprise to her that Calista had molded herself to
them. She belonged there, with the serpents, as slimy and debaucherous and twisted as any Slytherin
Lily had come across. Severus made Lily fear for her stomach, Lucius made her fear for her life,
Bellatrix made her fear for her sanity. Calista, however, brought a feeling completely
different.

She didn't realize her capacity for evil! She didn't understand that the darkness
festering inside her, the darkness the Sorting Hat had obviously seen in her (for how else could
she be in Slytherin?), that darkness was bound to rise to the surface someday and when that day
came, that fetid blackness Calista would ooze, would overshadow the lesser doings of Bellatrix and
Severus and even Lucius Malfoy himself. Calista made Lily fear for her soul and for the souls of
anyone who dared to believe that any goodness could come from a creature like that.

That is what Lily knew about Calista Serene. Nothing but darkness would ever come from her; Lily
knew it in her bones. Calista was death to all who tried to believe in her. At least Lily and her
friends were safe from it. No one in Gryffindor was crazy enough to get mixed up with the likes of
her.

**~ Azkaban Prison ~**

In all his years locked in this island of hell, Sirius had never imagined this face coming to
see him. This horrid face that haunted his nightmares. Here was the one who had torn his group of
friends to shreds; hunted and attacked until he, Sirius, and poor Remus were the only ones left.
Sirius searched those eyes for any sign of a soul. There was none. There was no remorse, no cause
for sympathy. There was only triumph as Sirius looked.

“Aren't you going to say hello?”

Sirius gritted his teeth. He did not want to speak; indeed, he almost missed the solitary
confinement of his cell. Seeing this face before him, this wicked face that dared put on a mask of
innocence during the light of day, increased all the pain of Sirius' miserable life in full
force.

Here was the reason for everything, sitting before him: the reason Lily and James were gone,
that Peter had turned, that Remus was out there alone. There was not a person in the world Sirius
hated more than the face in front of him. Yet, he found himself swallowing his pride as he cleared
his throat to finally speak.

“Hello, Lucius.”
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32. As You Wish
---------------



**Chapter 30: As You Wish**

~ 2 months later ~

It was another glorious, sunny day; the first really warm day in a long while. James stood in
the main square of Hogsmeade and stretched his arms over his head, letting the sunlight soak into
his skin and warm his bones. It had been a long, cold winter and today's unexpected warmth gave
him a hope it was over at last.

Sirius' memory of the night of the murder was still non-existent. Even Dumbledore himself
could not remove the Memory Charm placed on Sirius, and so he lived in a blissful ignorance of that
night. Lily, although James knew she still missed her friend deeply, was smiling again. Laughter
passing her lips was not so uncommon any more, and though she still had not divulged the details of
Lucius' attack, she seemed more like her old self as the days wore on. More importantly, to
James at least, Sirius' desire for Lily was apparently a thing of the past and their friendship
was becoming more solid with each passing day. There were less awkward moments between the two
boys; James could even talk about Lily without Sirius looking uncomfortable. The passion of Sirius
and the murder of Sara Brown were no longer dominating the lives of James Potter and his motley
crew of wizards.

*At last,* he thought, *we can all start living again.* He stretched his arms over his
head as far as he could reach and tilted his face to greet the sun. Something tickled his ribs and
he jerked around to face a giggling Lily and Remus.

“Not to disturb the moment or anything,” Remus said, “but why don't we get a move on?”

“Big date Moony?” James lightly smacked his friend on the arm and then took Lily's hand.

“Of course not.” James could have sworn Remus was blushing, but there were more pressing matters
on his mind at the moment.

“Where's Sirius?”

“Filch caught Sirius walking around with a pocket full of Dungbombs. Now he's probably
hanging upside down by his toes in the dungeons waiting for the pygmies to come and have their way
with him,” Lily said airily.

“Otherwise known as detention.” James laughed and shook his head, marvelling at the stupidity of
his best friend. Sirius was a wiz in classes, mostly without trying, but his lack of survival
instincts was astounding.

“So, where are we off to today, kids?” Remus asked nonchalantly. James noticed Remus subtly
scanning the sidewalks, as though he was looking for someone.

“DO you have a big date?” James furrowed his eyebrows at the boy, who was painfully aware of the
scrutiny he suddenly found himself in.

“Why would you ask a thing like that?” Remus shoved his hands in his pockets and stared
determinedly into the nearest shop window as though the items displayed could not be more
interesting. Since it was a shop of women's maternity robes, James was not fooled.

“Spit it out, Moony old boy! Where've you been hiding her?”

“There is no her!” Remus insisted.

“Then why are you blushing like a schoolgirl?” Lily asked teasingly.

“I'm doing an impression of you whenever James looks at you,” Remus shot back. Lily narrowed
her eyes at him and scrunched up her mouth in concentration.

“You need to get a bit pinker in your cheeks,” Lily deadpanned. There was a moment of silence
before the three companions burst into laughter. The owner of the maternity shop came out and
scowled at them, so they muffled their laughter in their hands and ducked inside the Three
Broomsticks. They headed for their usual window table and settled into their chairs, ordering a
round of butterbeers for which James, feeling exceptionally cheerful, decided to treat for.

“Where's Peter?” Remus asked suddenly.

“Beats me,” James shrugged. He saw Lily shrug carelessly out of the corner of his eye and gave
her a look.

“What?” she said defensively. “I didn't say anything!”

It was no secret that she didn't care too much for Peter, but she at least tolerated his
presence for James' sake. Both boys knew it, and Remus dropped her a wink before downing half
his butterbeer with gusto.

“And no twins today either,” James said, dropping the subject of Peter. “I wonder what mayhem
they're causing.”

“Sirius managed to pass Autumn his bag of Dungbombs while Filch had his back turned,” Remus
said. “I wouldn't go near the entrance of the Slytherin common room for a while.”

James and Lily laughed at the thought of Autumn and Spike sabotaging the Slytherin entrance door
with Dungbombs. It was just the sort of thing anyone in their group (with the exception of Lily,
whom they had not yet managed to corrupt) would do, and had not done for some time. James took a
swig of his butterbeer and leaned back in his chair, on arm resting on the back of Lily's while
his fingers gently combed her hair as she and Remus talked of this and that. It seemed things were
finally returning to normal.

********

“You want me to *what?!*” Peter hissed. He listened again, stunned, to what he deemed was
the most ludicrous set of orders he had ever received.

“B-But I c-c-can't!” he stammered quietly. “They'll f-find out I'm
inv-inv-v-vol—part of this for sure, and th-then I'm d-done for!”

*“You will.”*

To the casual observer, it would have looked like Peter was talking to himself in the shadows.
He had been seen whispering to no one often enough so that most people took no notice of it
anymore, although it came up in conversation once in a while for a good laugh.

They didn't know Peter was never alone, that Peter was indeed talking to someone, a someone
no one else could see or hear. The voice rarely left Peter alone these days. It forever
eavesdropped on his conversations and raped his mind for what little information he could give.

Peter heard the orders, but he could not quite believe what the voice was asking him to do.
Murder was one thing, but this… this was worse than murder, worse than death itself. The Master had
said so, and yet here he was, giving instructions for Peter to perform the very thing the Master
had warned against. He didn't understand, but then, he rarely did. Service to the Master was
service without question.

He sighed and bowed his head. “As you wish, Master,” he whispered, defeated once again by his
dependency on his saviour of the dark. The voice gave a soft chuckle in his ear.

*“Patience and obedience will always keep you in my favour. The rewards will come Wormtail. Do
not doubt me, for I will raise you up to be a beacon in my order, a being that all will bow to, and
all will envy and desire at once.”*

A vision passed briefly in Peter's head, a woman of infinite loveliness, whose smile melted
his heart and created a burning sensation deep in his belly. He wanted her, simply because she
belonged to the one who he so longed to overshadow. When he was reflected in the glow of the
Master, with her on his arm, the world would admire Peter as they had once admired him, and he
would be the envy of all things, at last just as good as - no, *better* than the rest of
them.

He spoke to the wind one last time, a man enslaved by his vision of the future.

“As you wish.”

**************

Spike watched, crouched underneath a grinning gargoyle with a bottle in his hand. He could have
sworn that Peter was talking to himself again, but he was intrigued by the fact that Peter kept
referring to a “Master” in his mutterings. *I wonder if he's drunk a Babbling Beverage or
something.* He watched, silent as the shadow he hid in, as Peter rapped his knuckles on the
wall, and then settled back to wait. For what, Spike couldn't guess, but it became apparent
soon enough.

A secret door Spike had not known about (which of itself was something of a miracle) slid open
and public enemy number one stepped out: Lucius Malfoy himself. He handed Peter something small,
which Peter stuffed quickly in his pocket as he glanced furtively about. Peter handed something to
Lucius, something silver that glinted in the light. . . Spike recognized it as Lily's charm
bracelet, the one his sister had given her for Christmas. Peter must have swiped it somehow, but to
give it to Malfoy would have to mean. . .

Spike's stomach began to churn, his supply of Dungbombs dropped forgotten from his hands.
This was horrible, too horrible too be true. This simply could not be. . . Peter could not have. .
.

Lucius drifted back into the shadows of the hall and the hidden entrance slid closed, leaving
Peter standing alone in a ray of sunlight. Peter took a deep breath, clearly gathering his nerve
for something, then turned on his heel and strode quickly out of sight, heading towards the
Entrance Hall.

Like a cat, Spike crept out of his shadow and followed. He wanted answers, and if Peter was the
way to them, then so be it.

**A/N:** *Yes, three chapters in one day! What a shock! I felt I owed it to you, seeing as
how I've neglected this story for so long. Trust me, my loyal friends, the neglect was not
intentional. What with the Marauder's Hideaway being open, and my mod duties on DarkMark and
Phoenix Prophecy, I've been rather busy. And that is just my online life! I won't even get
into the real world (although if anyone wants to know the amusing story of the power outage my
brothers and I played on our neighbourhood as a prank…)*

*Anyway, lame excuses aside, I swear to post the rest of this as quick as possible so I can
get to posting the sequel here. SO, more frequent updates, and yes, I will try to make them longer.
*crosses heart* Although, some feedback would be very helpful for me getting
motivation…*wink*wink*nudge*nudge* :P*
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33. A Visit of the Worst (or the Horror of Monday)
--------------------------------------------------



**Chapter 31: A Visit of the Worst (or the Horror of Monday)**

*~Azkaban Prison~*

Lucius Malfoy settled back in his chair and watched Sirius with a smirk of pleasure on his face.
Sirius balled his hands into fists; if he struck out, as he so wanted to do, it would mean a month
in the pit: a dank, dark hole dug into the earth just outside the main prison, very near the
cemetery where inmates where buried. A steel door was fitted over the entrance, so you were left in
darkness so thick you could not even see your own hand when you held it up in front of your face.
You were left there, more alone than you were in your cell, to rot in your own filth, until the
smell of it, mingled with the stench of death from the cemetery, became nearly unbearable and you
longed for the kiss to set you free. There were creatures in the pit that were beyond description,
for they were never actually seen, just felt. They felt you with limbs that evoked the most
unnatural of creatures. Sirius had experienced it once, in his early years on the island when he
still dreamt of a world outside of prison, back when he could still taste his freedom, and the
experience was enough to chill the Dark Lord himself. He had no desire for a repeat performance and
so he sat and let the blonde devil smirk.

“What do you want,” Sirius asked at last. “Surely this can't be a social call.”

“I'm here as a favor to the Minister,” Lucius said smugly. “I just thought I would see for
myself the disgrace of the house of Black.”

“So you decided to grace me with your presence. How nice,” Sirius said sarcastically. “Remind me
to send you a thank you card.”

“Tsk, tsk. Such a temper,” Lucius drawled. “It always did get you into the worst kinds of
trouble.”

“You know nothing of my life,” Sirius hissed.

“I know more than you think,” Lucius said.

“Really?”

“You belong here, you know.”

“How so?”

“All blood traitors will meet their rewards eventually.”

“Nice sentiments.”

“I knew you'd appreciate them.”

“Why are you really here?” Sirius was tired of the inane chitchat. He wanted Lucius to go. His
presence was a painful reminder of a past he was beginning to wish he didn't remember
anymore.

Lucius fell silent and observed Sirius for a long moment, his eyes grazing over Sirius beard,
his too thin frame, and his pale skin.

“You look so horrible you could pass for Calista Serene's twin,” Lucius said softly. Sirius
narrowed his eyes in concentration. The name Calista was vaguely familiar, and the sound of it
brought a slight chill to Sirius' bones, so he assumed her to be a part of Lucius' old
crowd, even though he could not place a face with the name. Most unfortunately, Lucius realized
this.

“You don't remember her, do you?”

“I don't remember a lot of things,” Sirius admitted quietly, though not without some level
of defiance. A slow, twisted smile crossed Lucius' face, changing his handsome features into a
mask of grotesque malice. It was a chilling sight, for Sirius had never seen the evil that festered
inside Lucius present itself in this form. Lucius knew instantly that this bothered Sirius, and
decided to use it for a bit of fun. Lucius leaned forward until he was nose to nose with Sirius.
When he spoke, it was in a hissing whisper that curdled Sirius' blood.

“Remember *now*.” Before Sirius could stop him, Lucius had reached out one finger and
touched Sirius' forehead. The contact was like a brand burning itself onto Sirius' memory
and a thousand images flashed through his mind: Sara on the dais . . . the sickly form of Calista
bringing the knife down over and over. . . Sirius, helpless to stop the slaughter, watching the
blood spill out onto the grass . . . screams echoing through the night . . . red eyes . . .
horrible red eyes. . .

With a jolt, Sirius found himself staring into Lucius' cold gray eyes, gasping for breath.
He remembered . . . oh dear god, he *remembered*. . .

“You're going to die in here, Black. You will die, remembered only for the crimes you never
committed, alone and friendless, and the best part is: the werewolf will have forgotten you and
James' son will never know that you ever existed. And once you are thrown into that pit of a
grave, left to decay in this forgotten island, the last remnants of your world will come crashing
down. The Brown girl and your pathetic friends were only the first of many. The Dark Lord's
most faithful will sacrifice Harry Potter for his crimes against us, but not before his suffering
becomes a symbol of the greatness of the night. We will avenge our Master, and raise ourselves up
until we overshadow all the world.”

Lucius paused, a glint in his eyes that only the maniacally possessed can have. He savored what
he perceived as his moment of triumph before going in for the kill.

“Too bad the Mudblood died. I would have liked another taste.”

Sirius swung, his fist connected with the flesh of Lucius' jaw and both men went sprawling
to the floor. Sirius clambered on top of the other man and with strength reborn brought down his
fists again and again. He barely registered that Lucius was laughing underneath him; he just wanted
to cause as much pain as possible. He ignored the sudden cold and tried to sweep aside the dead
hands reaching out for him, but they had a strength he did not and they pulled him off and away
from Lucius.

Panting, Sirius stopped trying to fight and glared at Lucius as he slowly climbed to his feet.
It brought some satisfaction to see a black eye already forming and blood dripping from the corner
of Lucius' mouth. Lucius wiped off the blood with the back of his hand and stared at its
glistening redness before raising his cold eyes to Sirius' face.

“Be good now, Black,” he drawled. The dementors dragged Sirius from the room. He caught one last
glimpse of Lucius before the door swung shut; Lucius, licking the blood from the back of his hand
with an expression of sheer ecstasy on his face. Sirius' heart sank as the dementors led him
outside. With evil like that in the world, there was no hope for any of those he still loved. The
darkness would come back, and the world would fall.

Sirius was thrown into the cold, dank darkness of the pit, sinking a couple of inches into the
slimy mud. He was helpless to stop the tears running down his face as the heavy steel door slammed
shut above him, locking him in the desolate blackness of despair. He didn't even resist when he
felt the creatures come out of their hiding places to inspect their visitor. There was no point
anymore.

__________________________________________________________________________-

Death itself did not bother Peter Pettigrew, for he did not believe he would ever die. The
Master had said . . . well, the Master had said many things, but now was not the time to dwell on
them, not when there was work to be done. He had to be quick and do it now, while the majority of
the students were milling about Hogsmede and the staff were otherwise occupied with their various
goings-on. Still, death lingered in his mind as he stood before the grave of Sara Brown. He
couldn't help it; he had taken the life of one girl and had observed the butcher of another.
Death played a huge part of his life.

There was a flutter of wings nearby. Peter glanced up to see Lucius' raven perch in the
branches of a nearby tree, watching him with those black, almost human eyes. It was strange to see
a bird with a mind, yet there it was. *Watching to make sure he did the job right*, he
supposed. *Whatever.*

Peter pulled out the vial of blue liquid Lucius had given him and yanked out the cork stopper.
He dribbled it onto the base of the marker as he had been instructed, drawing out the correct Dark
Runes with the liquid. He muttered a few choice words under his breath and waited, praying he had
done it right. Master would kill him if he screwed this up. . .

Quiet moans echoed beneath the ground and a light shadow slowly rose up from the ground and
gently swirled into the empty vial Peter held in his hand. He waited until the last specks of gray
dust settled into the tiny bottle, then pushed the stopper back in. His work done, he turned and
went back inside the castle. He never noticed the boy with spiky white-blonde hair following his
every move.

*One Week Later…..*

“Monday,” Sirius said in disgust. “*Monday.”*

“Glad to know you've learned the days of the week,” James said.

“Shut up, Prongs.”

“Muahahahaha. . .”

“Oh, I'm shaking in my boots. Oh, the fear, the fear.” Sirius rolled his eyes and mimed
shaking in terror. Peter was standing in James' shadow, gazing up at him with an expression of
pure hero-worship and drooling over his and Sirius' every word. *As usual.* Remus stood a
little ways off, completely absorbed in scanning the gardens. *He's always doing that
lately,* Sirius thought. *What's he looking for anyway?*

“Greetings, gents,” Lily said as she joined the group. “Ready for another stimulating History of
Magic lesson?” She casually linked her hand through James'. Sirius pretended seeing their
clasped hands didn't send little pangs to his heart. *Autumn, remember?* On cue, Autumn
and Spike wandered over. Autumn went and stood next to Sirius, though she did not reach for his
hand. Whatever they had going on was so uncertain that neither was willing to push things to
quickly, which somehow had included even holding hands.

“Stimulating Lily-girl?” Spike asked. “What class have you been going to?”

“The one in her head,” James said cheerfully. Lily whacked him on the shoulder.

“You call it class,” Peter said. “I call it nap time.”

“Every time is nap time for you, unless its lunch time. Or dinner,” Autumn said sagely. She
smirked at Lily, who hid her smile in James' shoulder. Peter was the world's easiest
target.

“Who are you looking for Remus?” James asked.

“Hmm?” Remus jerked as though he'd been dreaming and stared uncomprehendingly at his group
of friends. Even Peter looked interested in what Remus had to say.

“I asked who you were looking for,” James repeated.

“Oh, no one,” Remus said distantly. James looked at Sirius, who shrugged his shoulders as if to
say `I don't know.' Remus had been this way for several days now, and whatever was on his
mind he wasn't telling, despite everyone's best efforts.

“Time to go in kiddies!” Sirius said as the door to their classroom swung open. Autumn groaned
in dismay.

“Do we have to?” she whined.

“Sadly, yes,” Sirius said seriously.

“Lead me, oh wise one,” she grinned at him. *Why can't I fall for someone like her? Why do
I have to have a thing for my best friend's girl? Can't I choose who I fall in love
with?* He knew the answer to that last question, but he was still going to have a word with the
Man in Charge when he made it to the afterlife.

“Ladies first,” he said now, and he swept his arm out, guiding Autumn into the classroom. She
laughed and went in, followed by her brother, then James and Lily with Peter in quick succession.
Sirius turned to Remus, who was gazing out over the landscape again with a lost look in his
eyes.

“Moony?”

There was no answer. Remus was very much lost in his own world.

“Moony? Moony!!” Sirius poked Remus sharply in the back of the head, finally getting his
attention. Remus scowled at Sirius and rubbed the back of his head.

“Wha-at?!”

“Are you coming?”

“Coming where?”

“To *class*,” Sirius said exasperatedly. This was not typical Remus behavior, and it was
getting on Sirius' nerves.

“I think I'm skiving off today,” Remus said distantly.

*I'm hearing things,* Sirius thought. He stared at Remus, completely bewildered.

“Say again Moony?”

“I'm not going.” Remus said. It was like he was speaking to Sirius from far away, and he
really didn't care if he was heard or not. Remus hefted his bag onto his shoulder and went off,
down towards the Great Hall, leaving Sirius staring at his back, totally at a loss for words.
*Remus just ditched class. Remus Lupin, prefect extraordinaire, model student, just ditched class
for no apparent reason. What the…?*

Sirius went into his class. Lily had long since taken the seat next to James, so Sirius took the
one behind him, next to Autumn. James tossed him an inquiring look, glancing to the empty seat on
Sirius' other side.

“Moony left,” Sirius said simply. James' eyebrows disappeared into his flyaway hair,
disbelieving. Sirius chuckled.

“Yeah,” he said, “do that for about five minutes and you'll be where I am now.”

“He just left,” Lily whispered. Binns had done his usual entrance through the blackboard and was
beginning his droning lecture on the division of power among the fairy colonies.

“Yup,” Sirius shrugged. He dropped his bag on the ground next to his chair, then on an impulse
grabbed Autumn's hand and held it tight. She smiled at him, then pretended to pay attention to
Binns. She couldn't keep the smile off of her face, however and it made Sirius smile himself.
He was so focused on the moment that he didn't notice the other unexpected occurrence of the
day: Lily grabbing her things and abruptly leaving the classroom, to the ignorance of Binns and the
shock of everybody else.

********

Remus went to the Great Hall and settled down at the Gryffindor table. He just wasn't in the
mood to deal with Binns today. It was two weeks until full moon, and he was looking forward to his
next midnight romp with his friends, but he was even more eagerly awaiting the morning after, when
he could be with Calista again. She was invading his every thought. He dreamed of her when he
slept, he imagined encounters with her when he was awake. He found himself constantly looking for
her wherever he went, praying for just a glimpse of her.

He knew no one could possibly understand what they had, and so he kept Calista's wishes and
said nothing to his friends. He didn't care if people didn't understand; he just wanted to
be with her, plain and simple. Remus didn't quite get why Calista was so anxious to keep their
relationship a secret, why she was so reluctant to let him in.

He knew she was hiding something, that there was some dark secret she wasn't telling him and
that it was keeping them apart, but Remus had come to a very important decision: he no longer
cared. He was tired of seeing her in the company of Severus Snape, especially when he knew she
despised Snape as much as he did. Whatever secret she was keeping, surely it wasn't as horrible
as she thought it was. Nothing was bad enough to keep them from being together, was it?

He saw her suddenly, walking past the large open doors that led to the Entrance Hall. That one
glimpse was enough to make his arms ache for her and he stood and strode after her, leaving his bag
on the table. The trouble was, he was not the only one who followed.

********

Severus crept quietly along the hall, following Lily Evans, who was following Remus Lupin, who
was following Calista Serene. It was one big stalking party, no one aware that each was being
followed, and Severus was not going to miss the chance to be a part of it. This promised to be
good.

He was becoming very disappointed in Calista, who once upon a time had been the most twisted
individual he had ever known. Her imagination was legend in Slytherin house, and now she spent all
of her time weeping over a stinking werewolf. It was disgusting, truth be told. She had once had
promise, could have been the Master's right hand if she had stayed on the path she had
traveled, but now everything had changed. Severus knew she was carrying on in secret with Lupin,
and that put their entire secret in danger. He was not willing to let her ruin everything for a
chance fling with a Gryffindor monster.

He had tried to control her by forcing his dominion over her, and now he knew it hadn't
worked. He had followed her on the last full moon, had seen her go into the Shrieking Shack and had
watched, hidden in the very bush she had once hidden in, as she emerged in the daylight hand in
hand with him.

It was over for Calista. If the Master didn't take care of it, he would. This would end one
way or another.

*********

Binns droned on and on, unaware that one by one, his students fell asleep or lost themselves in
daydreams. Sirius and Autumn, hands still linked, were having a whispered conversation. James was
spinning a Galleon on the table, trying to see how long it would last before it fell over. Peter
was asleep, head back, a spittle of drool dangling form the corner of his mouth. His snores mingled
with a few others to echo throughout the classroom. Spike doodled on a bit of parchment, thinking
things over in his mind.

*Peter and Lucius are on cahoots about something. Lucius attacked Lily and the only one who
didn't show up was Peter. Peter was also missing when. . .* Spike's brain was still
unwilling to link Peter to the murder of Sara Brown, but the more he mulled over it, the more
painfully obvious it became. Peter was a traitor. Days of following Peter had made it plain; Spike
just had to admit the truth to himself.

He knew he had to go to Dumbledore with his suspicions, but he needed solid proof or else
suspicions and his own certainty would be all he would have to offer. If he went to the Headmaster
without proof, and word got out about it; that would ruin everything. His group of friends was
bound to be destroyed by this already; he didn't want to make it worse.

He needed to find the actual murderer. It was ludicrous, Peter's apparent involvement meant
that the murderer was a student, but that was the truth of it. Autumn was too wrapped up in Sirius
and their “non-relationship” to be of much help. It was sad, really: Spike knew Sirius Black was
going to break her heart, he would kick Sirius' ass, they would move on and life would
continue, but it was still unfortunate that it had to go down like that.

Spike would have to do it alone. Spike and Autumn were known for their esoteric knowledge of the
incidents that happened at school, and they knew nothing of the events that surrounded Sara's
death. Spike had had enough. It was time for some answers, and justice, and he would see it done if
it was the last thing he ever did.
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34. Azkaban Interlude/Nightmare Proposals
-----------------------------------------



**Chapter** **32****: Azkaban Interlude/ Nightmare Proposals**

~ 3 miles off the shore of Azkaban Prison~

Sirius paddled along as he had for hours now, occasionally stopping and letting himself float
along in dog form to give his poor limbs a rest. He had not well prepared for his escape, but he
had done it! He was out, and now all he had to do was reach the mainland and he could plan his next
steps.

He hadn't given much consideration to what he would do after he got out, mostly because he
never thought slipping through the bars as a dog would actually work. It was such a simple plan, it
had to be the stupidest thing he'd ever thought of, yet it had done the trick. The dementors
had not given him much thought when he was transformed, and so escape had been much easier than he
had imagined.

It had been like a fever he could not get rid of: recognizing Peter in the newspaper and the
realization that Peter was at Hogwarts, perfectly placed to perform another atrocious act that
would be reminiscent of his own last days at Hogwarts.

*Just a few more miles,* he thought desperately. He had to make it to Harry. . .

*********

*Lily,*

*Meet me on top of the Astronomy Tower at 11:30 tonight. Dress warm. I have something I want
to show you.*

*All my love,*

*James*

James folded the note and stuffed it in his bag. He would sneak off to the kitchens after class
to make sure the arrangements for tonight were all set. It was going to be perfect. He was very
nervous, but he knew that what he was going to ask was the right thing. The timing was perfect. He
was going to make Lily the happiest she'd ever been. He just prayed she was as ready for this
as he was.

********

Calista almost made it to the entrance to her common room. She had not been to a History of
Magic class in months and didn't care if she passed. It was not important to her what happened
in the lives of fairies. How was knowing their doings beneficial to her?

Something grabbed her arm and pulled her into a shadowy corner. *Remus.* She was very
surprised to see him out of class and opened her mouth to say something about it to him when she
felt his lips on hers and all conscious thought was driven from her mind. Remus was an amazing
kisser, and it was very easy for her to lose herself in his arms. *And what a smart thing to do,
right outside your common room where Severus or Lucius or Bellatrix could walk by at any
moment.*

Oh god. She broke herself away from Remus and leaned back against the wall, panting. He still
had her by the arms, and he trailed one finger along her jaw line and tilted her face up to
his.

“Calista,” he murmured.

“Someone might see,” she whispered.

“I already told you I don't care anymore.”

“But--” Remus settled his lips on hers, ending the argument that she had never really put
herself into. *Caring about anyone will only ruin their life.* Once again, Narcissa's
warning rang through her mind.

*Screw it.* Calista wrapped her arms around Remus' neck and lost herself completely.
Narcissa was wrong; escape was possible, especially with this man with her. She was not condemned
to the life she had been forced into. She would survive this. No, *they* would survive this.
She smiled against Remus' lips and her heart was lightened for the last time.

************

Lily saw, but she didn't believe. It was mind-boggling, yet there it was, plain as day.
Remus Lupin and Calista Serene. The world was completely topsy-turvy if this was going on. How
could Remus? Didn't he know what that girl *was*?

*He either doesn't know or he's lost his mind and doesn't care*, her mind
decided. Her dear, sweet, sensible friend Remus was wrapped in the arms of the second most
despicable person alive (in Lily's opinion) and in broad daylight in the open hall where anyone
could see them! Lily half wondered what else the day would have in store for her, and then quickly
decided she didn't want to know.

************

Severus watched the Lily watch the two lovebirds, not surprised but grimly accepting. He would
have to settle things after all. He could never have imagined that things would be settled for him,
exactly as he wanted.

***********

Remus finally broke for air, leaning his forehead against Calista's as both gasped for
breath. *She fits*, he thought. *She was made for me.*

“Meet me in the Shrieking Shack tonight,” he whispered impulsively.

“It's not full moon,” she answered.

“I know.”

Calista smiled suddenly and flung her arms around him, holding him to her in a tight hug. He
returned it gladly, touched by this small, unexpected display of affection.

“Will you come?” he whispered into her hair. He felt her nod against his neck. He smiled, then
kissed the top of her head and gently disentangled himself from her. Calista leaned in and kissed
him softly one last time, running her fingers through his hair, then let him go and drifted into
her common room with a blissful smile on her face.

Remus waited until the door had swung shut behind her, and then turned to go back to the Great
Hall but found his path blocked by Lily Evans. She had a look of complete disbelief on her face,
mingled with what seemed to be the beginning of anger. *What does she have to be angry about?*
he thought defensively.

“If you can't accept it Lily, then leave it alone,” he said abruptly. He strode off, leaving
her staring after him with her mouth open like a fish. Neither of them saw Severus slink into the
common room after Calista. He felt bad, leaving Lily like that, but it was his life and he was
tired of hiding it.

***********

Night fell, and the castle took on an eerie stillness. In contrast to the warmth of the past few
days, the night air carried winter's chill still. Lily remembered the last time it had felt
this strange: the day of Lucius' first attack, and Sara's death that very night. She
supposed she was just being fanciful, but seeing Remus and Calista like that had seemed an omen of
something; she wasn't sure of what, exactly, but she knew in her bones something was
coming.

It was almost enough to put her off seeing James tonight, but the note she had found on her bed
had seemed very intriguing. So, she wrapped her black wool shawl around her shoulders and wandered
over to the Astronomy Tower. Being Head Girl, she had the advantage of using the excuse that she
was patrolling the corridors for errant students, but since she met no teachers on her way she did
not have to.

She climbed the winding staircase and clambered up onto the deck of the Tower. What she saw made
her gasp. On the center of the deck there was a large blanket and two cushions. There were candles
everywhere, flames flickering despite the lack of wind. It was a romantic setting and Lily smiled.
She knew James had a mushy romantic side, but this was beyond adorable.

Lily walked forward and settled herself on one of the soft cushions. Despite her happiness, she
couldn't shake her feeling that the worst was just around the bend. But she could worry about
that tomorrow. Tonight, she wanted to see what her James had in store for her.

************

Sirius sat on the couch in front of the Gryffindor fire, watching the last embers flicker and
die, as he had so many times before. He had sat silently as Lily had left. He knew where she was
going, what was worse, he knew what James' plan was and he could not muster up the dignity to
be happy for his best friend. It required far too much effort, and so he sat with a stolen bottle
of Old Ogden's Firewhiskey, mourning the loss of a chance he would never have.

***********

Autumn watched Sirius from the staircase. She knew he was drinking and she had a feeling she
knew why. She knew Sirius didn't love her, didn't even return the attraction she felt for
him. *Time to be a big girl, Autumn.* She would end it herself, before he got the chance, and
they would stay friends, but it would never go beyond that. *Why does nothing ever turn out like
it should?* she thought furiously.

She wanted to go cry to her brother, but Spike had vanished this evening, along with everyone
else. Remus, Peter, James, Lily and now Spike; all had vanished. It was like everyone had their own
agendas, which, she supposed, everyone did. The entire world knew James was going to propose
tonight except for Lily, who could be charmingly oblivious when it came to her own
relationship.

Watching Sirius drink himself into stupidity was too much and Autumn had no desire to be around
in case he got a little out of hand and so she turned and quietly went up the stair to her own
dormitory. A large chest inscribed with her name was at the foot of her bed and she crossed to it
now and opened it. At first glance, it was filled with all the things a young girl would have:
pictures of her friends, little keepsakes from boyfriends come and moved on, family mementos,
trinkets from childhood she was too sentimental to throw away. She pulled out her favorite item: a
fairy doll her Aunt Rowan had given her as a going-to-Hogwarts present when she was eleven. It had
a light green dress and glittering purple and blue wings and it wore a little green hat. It always
made her feel better, especially if she was sick or was unhappy. When she was eleven, she swore up
and down to Spike that the doll came alive to watch over her, that it was a real fairy, but she had
grown past the stage of believing in the living doll. Still, it brought her comfort, even at the
old age of seventeen. She climbed into her bed and pulled the blankets up to her chin, doll tucked
in the crook of her arm, fully prepared to sleep through the night.

**************

Lily sighed and checked her watch. 11:30 sharp, yet there was no sign of James. It was getting
to be very cold. She pulled her shawl tighter around her shoulders and looked around her. The night
was full of stars, their light dancing against the velvety blackness of the night sky. The half
moon hung low over the nearby mountains, looking like it wanted to hide but not daring to leave. It
was the kind of night Lily loved; star-gazing was a favorite pastime. It filled many summer nights
when she wanted to get away from Petunia, so she climbed onto the roof of her little house and
dreamed of a world far away from her bickering sister. Hogwarts was her escape. *And after this
year, it's all over,* she realized.

There was a rustle behind her and she turned in her perch to see a grinning James emerging from
the trap door, a large pitcher of butterbeer and two goblets in his hands. Lily gave a little laugh
and clapped her hands, loving the cleverness of her James.

“Good idea, then?” he said as he settled on the cushion next to her.

“Brilliant!” she said. She gave him a peck on his cheek and took one of the golden goblets from
him. He filled their glasses, then held his up.

“To us,” he said softly.

“To us.” Lily clinked her goblet against James' and took a small sip. The look he was giving
her was evoking a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach and she looked away and out over the
grounds.

“Nice Remus impersonation there, Lily-girl.”

Lily nearly choked on her butterbeer as she laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. She had
completely forgotten to tell him about the shocking events of earlier.

“Speaking of our dear insane friend Remus, you will never in a million years--”

“Tell me in a sec, okay?” James interrupted softly.

“All right,” Lily said. James had a very serious look on his face, so she set her goblet down
and gave him her full attention. “What is it you wanted to show me?”

“Actually, it's more something I need to talk to you about,” James said. He looked nervous,
so Lily took his hand and smiled encouragingly. James took a deep breath and plunged in.

“I love you,” he said quietly. Lily waited for a moment and when James didn't continue let
out a soft laugh.

“That's what this is all about?” she said. “Silly boy, I love you too.” She reached out and
tenderly brushed a lock of hair away from his forehead.

“So will you marry me then?”

Complete silence. Lily was floored; had not even remotely seen this coming (Autumn's
assumption that she was dense about her own relationship with James was very accurate). James
pulled a blue velvet box out of his pocket, opened it, then held his breath.

The small but lovely diamond twinkled in the candlelight. Lily stared at it as she tried to
remember how to breathe. This was her chance to escape the world of her sister and go to where she
really belonged, and to go there with the man she loved. It was everything Lily had ever wanted in
life.

“James. . . I can't.” Lily ran, leaving her shawl, her drink, her ring, and her James behind
her.

**************

“So, Calista and Lupin? Why am I not entirely surprised?” Lucius was almost indifferent to what
Severus was telling him. He'd had a feeling about her. . .

“I'm not sure how I should handle it,” Severus asked quietly.

“How *you* should handle it?” Lucius stopped in his tracks and turned a curious eyebrow to
his companion. “This is no longer your problem. The Master left her in your control and you have
failed to control her. I'll settle this matter with her.”

“Lucius--”

“No buts, Severus my friend. This is how it will be done.” Lucius put a hand on his friend's
bony shoulder. “It's not your fault,” he said kindly. “She was never really one of us to begin
with.”

“She could have been,” Severus said quietly.

“I suppose,” Lucius drawled, “but her potential for evil will never be realized now.”

“Will you go to the Master?”

“I wouldn't be surprised if he already knew about it,” Lucius said thoughtfully. “If the
bird hasn't told him, then surely he picked it from the rat's mind.”

Severus gave a derisive snort. “IF he gets anything from that worthless mind it's a
miracle.”

Lucius smiled and nodded. Both considered Peter to be of almost no worth, yet they knew the
small boy had some steel in him. He had made his own sacrifice, after all, though the disposal of
the body of Lauren O'Henry had been handled much better. And Peter had his uses, being the only
Gryffindor in their little band. Still, they didn't see him as anything more than an annoying
little twat.

“Meet me back here in an hour,” Lucius said now. Severus nodded and watched as Lucius strode
into the forest, headed for the one safe place on the grounds, the place that was guarded against
even Dumbledore, thanks to long ago efforts of Salazar Slytherin. There, it was safe to call to the
Master.

**A/N:** Salutations everyone! I did a bit of tweaking on this chapter. I find myself doing
that a lot lately. I cannot even begin to tell you how excited your feedback makes me, and I love
that so many new people are latching onto this story. Makes me feel all warm and tingly inside. I
do feel the urge to respond to a couple of these reviews, so bear with me for a sec here, ok?

**Milk Situation -** you noticed my *Les Mis* references! I was stage managing the
national tour when I wrote this story, so that's why there are so many. Pieces just seem to fit
better in my head that way. You're the first person to ever notice that! Go you!

**Anonymous** - I wish I knew who you were, because then I could convince you that I'm
not actually a prodigy. (Although thank you so much for the compliment!)

**Silvynitelit**e - You're not the first one to oppose my Lily/Sirius shipping! I love
that I got you hooked though.

I would love to be able to respond to everyone, but alas, the Powers That Be did not grant me
enough time in the day to do so. Just know that I truly love all the feedback I get (yes, I am a
review whore - I love them!!!) and you guys rock for sticking with my inconstant updating. I keep
trying to update regularly, I swear! I am happy to say that the sequel is finished. Now I'm off
writing a one shot that I may or may not be able to post, depending on what James and Nappa say. If
not here, I will provide a link for anyone interested to read it when I get it posted.

Thanks for reading! --Jess
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35. Truth and Tears
-------------------



**Chapter 33: Truth and Tears**

Lily burst into the common room, desperately trying to choke back the sobs that threatened to
overtake her. Sirius looked up groggily from his nearly empty bottle of firewhiskey, his focus
suddenly becoming much clearer when he saw the tears pouring down Lily's face.

“What happened?” he demanded of her. He was at her side in seconds, gently taking her arm and
guiding her to the sofa. He quickly kicked the bottle under the sofa, but Lily, in her distress and
to Sirius' great relief, had not noticed it.

“James asked me to marry him,” Lily sobbed quietly. *I knew it.*

“So, explain to me why that's a bad thing,” Sirius said softly.

“I can't marry him.”

“Do you love him?”

Lily sniffled and nodded. Sirius reached into his pocket and found a crumpled tissue which he
handed to Lily. She dabbed at her red, watery eyes and gave a small hiccup.

“And you know he loves you?” Sirius continued. Lily nodded again.

“Then what's wrong?”

Lily stifled a sob. “I'm not good enough for him,” she cried.

“That's ridiculous,” Sirius scoffed. “You're perfect.” *Whoops.* He had spoken
before he thought, and the silence that fell was a thick one. He was afraid to look Lily in the
eye.

“No I'm not,” she whispered. “Lucius. . .”

A chill crept into Sirius' blood. *Lucius*. That slimy, skuzzy, sleazy scumbag was a
part of this. He should have known they hadn't fully escaped the cloud of malice Malfoy
spread.

“Lucius what?” It was not Sirius who spoke, but Lily appeared not to notice this and buried her
face in Sirius' tissue. Sirius met James' eyes as he stood in the doorway, but James shook
his head at Sirius, meaning `let Lily finish.' Sirius nodded and returned his attention to the
redhead now sobbing on his shoulder.

“Lucius what?” Sirius repeated softly. He put his arm around her, knowing it was all right.

“Lucius ruined me.” It was barely loud enough to be a whisper, yet it rang through the room and
tore up everything in its path. Sirius met James' eyes again as the meaning of Lily's words
sank in and they realized exactly what Lucius had done to her that day so long ago. James crossed
to Lily and sank to his knees before her, resting his hands on hers.

“Listen to me,” he said firmly. “Lucius did not ruin you. Sirius was right, you are perfect.”
*Good Lord, how long was he there?* Sirius thought to himself.

“I loved you before,” James continued, “and I love you now and there is not a being on this
earth who can take that away from us. Do you understand me?” Lily gave a small squeak and nodded,
sniffling as she did.

“I want to spend my life with you,” James said. Sirius could see James' heart playing for
everything at this moment and he desperately wanted to leave but knew he needed to stay. Life
sucked sometimes, but bugger if he wasn't going to be here for his friends. He had wallowed
long enough.

“Don't let Lucius Malfoy make you a victim forever,” James whispered. “Live, Lily. It's
the best revenge you will ever have. If you live, no matter for how long, you triumph.”

Lily broke down into sobs and buried her face in James' chest. He wrapped his arms around
her and settled himself on the couch next to her, gently rocking her back and forth. Sirius found
himself wrapping his arms around them both and resting his head on Lily's back, rocking with
them, letting Lily finally cry.

*****************

Autumn heard noises coming from the common room. *Stupid. . . leave the door open. . .*
grumbling to herself, she threw off the bedcovers and crossed to the door, ready to slam it shut
and crawl back into bed. The sobs she heard stopped her, though, and she listened for a moment
before she realized that it was Lily she heard crying and it was not the happy sobs of a newly
engaged woman but the cry of a despairing soul. Sobs coming from her best friend.

Autumn fled down the stairs, still clutching her fairy doll. She stopped at the foot of the
staircase and looked in surprise on the scene before her: James, Lily and Sirius together, the boys
holding Lily as she cried her heart out on James' shoulder.

She didn't care about the reason, she just knew that Lily needed her friends. Autumn crossed
over to the trio, leaned over the back of the sofa and put one arm around Sirius and the other
around James, grasping Lily's hand as it rested on James' back. She rested her head against
Lily's head, humming a nameless tune as she rocked with her friends. *My sweet Lily. Come
hell or high water, we're here. Be not afraid.*

*****************

Peter was up to something again, that was for certain. Spike crouched a few feet behind the
small boy, glad for the darkness of the night. The half moon did not give off much glow tonight;
its light was muted, dimmed somehow. It worked just fine for Spike.

He'd been hiding here for over an hour now, as Peter sat on a low garden wall and munched on
a bag of Every Flavor Beans he'd brought. *What is he waiting for?* Spike thought
impatiently. He'd never known Peter to sit still for this long, so he knew it was something of
the utmost importance.

Spike shivered in the cold and wished he'd thought to bring a cloak with him on his little
nighttime adventure, but no matter. Peter seemed cold as well; despite the cloak he wore, Peter
kept rubbing his arm. No, it wasn't cold. . . On closer observation, Spike saw the boys face
and he realized that Peter was in pain. *That's interesting. . .* He hunched closer to the
ground and hugged himself, seeping all the warmth he could into his bones, and waited.

******************

As Lily's tears had slowed, she began talking in fits and spurts, revealing the details of
Lucius' attack. Autumn, James and Sirius had not said a word, the had just listened as she
spoke into James' shoulder, her voice staying soft yet becoming stronger as she went on. The
more Lily talked, the more relaxed she became, yet the more Lily talked, the more tense her three
companions became.

By the look in her eyes, Autumn was planning murder in her head and the boys were much farther
along than that. But no one said a word as Lily finally ended her story and closed her eyes,
letting the fabric of James' shirt soak up the last of her slow tears.

There was silence for a long time after Lily had finished speaking; the four friends just held
onto each other, each silently offering their comfort and companionship. *Lily, my love. I'll
kill him for you.* Sirius finally lifted his head slightly from Lily's hair to look at her
face. Her eyes were closed, her breathing deep and even. She was asleep. He spent a moment lovingly
going over the details of her face, and knew James was the luckiest guy in the world, and he,
Sirius, needed to let go. He could love her forever, and it wouldn't make the slightet
difference anymore. *If I can't have her love me, I'll at least have her be my
friend.* It was time to let the past go; if Lily could release it at last, so could he.

Sirius nodded to James, who looked down upon the face of his sleeping beauty and smiled sadly.
Sirius and Autumn disentangled themselves as James lay Lily down on the sofa. He softly kissed her
cheek and brushed her hair away from her face as she slept. Autumn reached down and placed her
fairy doll in Lily's arms as Sirius conjured a blanket with his wand and draped it over
Lily.

“I say we bleed him like a stuck pig,” Autumn said harshly.

“Not enough pain involved,” James replied.

“Let's just leave it for now,” Sirius said quietly. James and Autumn looked at him
strangely.

“When did you become the voice of reason?” Autumn asked.

“Remus isn't here, somebody has to do it,” Sirius shrugged.

“Hey,” James asked, “where is Moony anyway?”

**A/N: Yes, I am aware of just how incredibly short this is! BUT!!!!! I plan on having the next
part up in about 30 minutes or less or your money back! [/spaz moment] See, I reworked the next
chapter. It's all Remus/Calista stuff, but it was split in two, with this section in between
it, and I never liked it that way. OK, enough talking. Must update. It's all action from here
on out kids! No more slow parts. From here on, we fly.**
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36. Dark Marks
--------------



**A/N:** *If you have not yet read chapter 33, do that first. I did two updates in
something like 5 minutes, which can be confusing sometimes. *shuts up**

**Chapter 34: Dark Marks**

*I sense there's something in the wind*

*That feels like tragedy's at hand*

*And though I'd like to stand by him*

*Can't shake this feeling that I have*

*The worst is just around the bend.*

~lyrics from “Sally's Song”

from **The Nightmare Before Christmas**

Remus and Calista were lost in their own little world, safe inside the Shrieking Shack. They
rested on the old bed, covered only now with blankets they had long ago brought specifically for
their little rendezvous. It was very dark; they could only see the dim outlines of the other as
they lay together. Remus had one arm underneath Calista, resting his hand on the small of her back.
Her skin was powder soft under his fingers. He dropped kisses on her bare shoulder and down her
arm, making her laugh. She had a nice laugh and he didn't hear it often enough for his
liking.

Remus had fallen into the trap of everyone in love: he had lost sight of Calista's physical
flaws. It happens when one discovers the inner substance of a person. It gives meaning to the
phrase “never judge a book by its cover.” He knew he was in that trap and it was all right by him.
Calista had accepted him for what he was, he would do the same for her with whatever she was
keeping from him.

“Do I make you happy?” he asked her now.

“Yes,” she said in her scratchy voice. The timbre of her voice didn't bother Remus as it
used to.

“Good,” Remus smiled in the dark, willing to leave it at that for now. He felt in the darkness
for Calista's lips and kissed them softly. He felt her sigh against his mouth and kiss him
back, her hand tightening on his arm. His hand gently rubbed her back as the kiss deepened, then he
ran his fingers up her arm. His thumb brushed a rough patch of skin near her left elbow. It was
like a flame under his thumb, searing hot, and it made Calista suck in her breath in a hiss,
whether from the sudden flare of heat or from his touch, Remus didn't know. Calista broke the
kiss and jerked her arm out of Remus' grasp, nuzzling her face in his neck.

“What is it?” he asked. If she was hurt. . .

“Nothing. It's nothing. Don't worry about it,'' Calista insisted. Her mind was
reeling, trying desperately to think up an excuse, but she seemed to be stuck on *oh god oh god
oh god oh god oh god. . .*

“No, Cal, what's happened?” Remus shoved himself up on one elbow to try and see her in the
dark, but there was just the outline of her body against his.

“I uh--- I got a bit careless in Potions class the other day, that's all,” she said
hurriedly. *Please, whatever reigns above us, let him buy that.*

“You're not careless,” he said slowly. *Damn you.*

“Everyone has their moments,” she said, giving a nervous laugh.

“Does it hurt,” he asked. The concern in his voice made her want to weep.

“Not really,” she lied. She should have known Remus would spot the lie in her voice; they knew
each other now better than anyone else did.

“Let me see.” His tone would brook no refusal and he grasped her left arm as he reached for his
wand.

“No, Remus, it's all right, really--” Too late, Narcissa's voice once again rang in her
mind, as it did so often. *"And where, too, can you run that the Dark Mark will not follow
you?”*

“*Lumos*.” His wand tip flared into light, casting a soft glow around the bedchamber. There
was no way out of it. The Master had called and the wandlight illuminated the black brand seared
into Calista's pale skin.

“No. . . no. . . .”

“Remus, listen to me.” *Let him understand, please.*

“You couldn't --- you can't be ---”

“Remus, please--”

Remus was backing away from her, as far as the bed would allow. Calista stayed where she was,
watching the horror seep into his face as he crawled away from her. She had to make him understand,
she had to make him see that she'd had no choice.

“You're --- you're a--” He couldn't think, couldn't see, couldn't breathe.
She was one of *them*, one of the ones Dumbledore had warned them all against. Never in all
his imaginings had he envisioned this to be her secret.

Calista gasped and clutched her arm. The brand had burned again, causing more pain. She wanted
to scratch her skin off but she had to talk to Remus.

“How could you? How *could you?!*”

“I had no choice,” she said softly.

“There's always a choice!” Remus sputtered.

“No, there isn't. You've never been in a situation like this, so you don't realize
the world isn't always full of choices. It was join them or death. . . I'm too afraid to
die.” She whispered the last part, her eyes distant and haunted. There were tears filling them when
she looked back at Remus.

“Remus, please. . .” Calista reached out her hand to him. Remus jerked away so far that he
tumbled off the bed.

“Don't touch me,” he said as he scrambled to his feet, staring at her hand as if it were the
most repulsive thing he'd ever seen. He grabbed for his robes in the dim wandlight and pulled
them over his head. Calista let her hand drop to her side and bit her lip.

“What have you done for them?”

“What?” Calista raised her head to gaze, confused, at Remus. He was staring at her as if he were
meeting her for the first time. In three minutes, she had become worse than a stranger to him.
*Lily was right*, he thought suddenly. *Lily was right about her. Oh my God. . .*

“What Lucius did to Lily --- you were involved in that, weren't you?” he accused her.

Calista stared at Remus for a long silent moment. He realized he was holding his breath as he
waited, terrified of what she may tell him. *Let me be wrong, please, please, please let me be
wrong and then I'll apologize and take her in my arms and fix this, just let me be wrong, let
me be wrong about this, please—*Calista didn't speak, she simply nodded her head and
Remus' heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

“How could you?” he demanded in a low voice. “Lily is my friend. How could you be a part of
something so heinous?”

“I don't care about her,” Calista said impatiently, waving her hand to brush the issue of
Lily Evans aside. “What happens to her is not my concern.”

“SHE'S MY FRIEND!” Remus screamed suddenly.

“But I told you!” Calista cried. “I told you I hated them, all of them, that I didn't care
about them! They're nothing to me but you are everything to me and that's all I cared
about!”

“If you care so much about me,” Remus said coldly, “then you're supposed to care about my
friends too.”

“Why should I?” Calista swung her legs over the side of the bed and reached for her own robes.
“They walk around lording themselves over the entire school, and we're all supposed to bow down
and worship them as if they were gods!”

“No, that's supposed to be reserved for your Master, isn't it?”

“He is not my Master,” Calista said roughly. She struggled with the clasp on her robes as she
stood unsteadily to her feet.

“That's his mark on your arm, isn't it? Why wear it if you don't believe in
him?”

“I had to stay alive,” she said. “I didn't want to die, so I went thought their horrible
initiation and performed their hideous sacrifice and now I do they're bidding and I wish I was
dead, oh god how I wish I was dead, but I'm not strong enough to take my own life even though
Narcissa said it was the only was to escape but I just can't and there's no where I can run
to so what am I supposed to do about that?!” Calista didn't realize she was screaming,
didn't realize there were tears streaming down her face as she revealed the horror of her life
in a torrent of curses and sobs. She was babbling, but she could not stop until it was too late.
She caught her breath and gazed with widened eyes upon the great love of her life, who was not
looking at her face but gazing at her arm where he knew the mark was hidden under the fabric of her
robe.

She waited to hear what he would have to say to her little outburst, and when he opened his
mouth and spoke, she dies inside, for Remus had caught the one thing she had prayed, even after all
that had come before, that he would never find out.

“What sacrifice?” Remus whispered. “What are you talking about?”

Calista had no words to tell him, and she found she didn't have to. She saw the wheels
turning in his mind as he put the pieces of the puzzle together. The look on his face cut her
sharper than Narcissa's knife would have. His mouth opened and closed a few times and he
struggled to find words.

Remus' mind was reeling. He knew what she meant now, but he had to ask . . . he had to be
sure . . . but how to speak? The thing he had to ask was the most horrible thing he'd ever
thought of and to ask her now would take all the courage he had left.

“Sara?” he finally squeaked. Calista pressed her lips together and looked him straight in the
eye as she nodded. Remus closed his eyes and let out a wail of despair as he sank to his knees.
*She's a murderer. She's a murderer.* He rocked back and forth, moaning, his head in
his hands, fists in his hair. *She's a murderer. She's a murderer.*

Remus had believed he could deal with whatever secret she had been hiding and now in the light
he found he had been horribly wrong about everything. There was no good in Calista at all. There
were arms around Remus now, holding him, and he leaned into Calista's shoulder.

“It was either me or her,” she sobbed quietly. “I had to. I had to, don't you see? I
don't want to die. I don't want to die, I don't want to die,” she said over and over as
she cried into his hair. Her tears mingled with his own as he lifted his face to hers and met her
lips again, offering the only comfort he knew to give. She met his kiss fiercely, clinging to him
for dear life. *And I'm kissing a murderer - stop thinking of her like that - like what?
That's what she is, Moony old boy.* Remus broke away and shoved Calista from him. She fell
back, her lank hair falling into her face.

“Remus--”

“No,” he said harshly. “No!” He stood quickly and stared down at her.

Calista found she wasn't crying anymore; she seemed to be beyond tears now. That was good;
she hated crying. It made her feel weak.

“You murdered Sara,” Remus said.

“I told you--”

“You murdered Sara,” he said again.

“*Remus--*”

**“You murdered Sara!!!”** He screamed it in her face, making her shrink from him.
“You're hateful! Evil!” he spat at her. “You took someone's life because you were too
afraid to stand up for yourself and you let Malfoy hurt my friend and you don't even care! Do
you care about *anything?*!”

“You.” It was whispered so softly Remus barely heard it, but it gave him pause. He couldn't
stand to look at her anymore so he turned and leaned against the dresser. Behind him, he heard
Calista climb to her feet.

“You knew what was going to happen to Lily and you did nothing to stop it,” Remus said.

“Why am I supposed to care about her?” Calista asked spitefully. “She had her friends to fawn
over her and make her feel special.”

“We're talking about you deliberately keeping silent about something so awful--”

“I was going to tell you,” Calista said, “but you made me angry and so I said nothing. I thought
that you and your little friends deserved what you got!”

“What are you—my god,” Remus said. He swung around to face her, anger making his face burn. “All
this happened because I called you a Grim?! I shot my mouth off and so you let Malfoy nearly
destroy my friend because I accidentally hurt your feelings?! Are you really that selfish?”

“So now I'm selfish?”

“No, you're sick is what you are.” He turned away from her again; the sight of her was
making him sick and furious at the same time. He wanted to strangle her and he wanted to hate her,
but he couldn't bring himself to do either and so he sought to hurt her with his words for
making him feel for her. God, why did he have to *feel?*

Her arm was burning again, but she ignored it. The Master could wait a little longer while the
last good thing in her life crumbled into pieces. All in his name.

“Is there anyone else you've murdered that I don't know about?” Remus kept his back to
her as he spoke. His eyes were burning with unshed tears, but he would not show weakness in front
of her anymore. A horrible thought crossed into his mind.

“Lauren O'Henry. The girl who disappeared our fifth year. Did you do it?”

“No,” Calista said. There was more behind her voice; Remus knew her so well. . .

“You know you did?” he asked quietly. His voice was very calm, but inside the anger was gripping
every part of him.

“Yes,” she said simply. *Tell him, tell him!* her mind screamed at her. *Take the blasted
rat down with you and end this madness! TELL HIM!* Calista said nothing. The sins of Wormtail
were not her business, so she left the subject alone.

“So what now,” she asked Remus.

“I don't know,” he said hoarsely.

They stood there, pondering their present situation. Calista's arm was burning beyond belief
as the Master called again and again, but she didn't care. Let him call. No matter what
happened here, she was never going again.

“Get out.”

“What?” Calista was brought back to earth by Remus' harsh voice. He had turned and was
staring at her with utmost hatred. His eyes held nothing but disgust as he looked at her, his hands
were clenched into fists at his sides.

“I said get out, and don't you ever come here again. You're not welcome.”

“Remus, no.” Her mark was bleeding from the constant burning; the blood was pouring down her arm
as she reached out to him. Remus looked like he was going to be ill as he pushed her arm away from
him.

“Don't touch me!”

“Remus, don't push me away, please--”

“Get away from me murderer!”

Calista froze, the fresh pain rushing through her veins. This was worse than Remus calling her a
Grim, a bringer of death, so much worse than that incident because now it was her lover insulting
her.

“You were supposed to understand,” she said brokenly.

“Understand? Understand?” Remus cried. “Understand what? That you're a freak, a murderer, a
follower of darkness?”

“Don't you understand that they made me do it?” she yelled.

“What, they physically forced the knife in your hand to pierce Sara's flesh?!”

“NO! Severus--- he made me--- he and Lucius and Bellatrix made me do things--”

“Do you or do you not have a mind of your own?”

“Yes, but--”

“Then you should have shown some courage, woman! Don't you understand that if you had come
to us for help, we would have given it to you? Gladly?! Don't you understand that because I
cared about you you wouldn't have had to go through this alone? I would have helped you; we all
would have! NO one deserves what you've gone through, but you took someone's life!
You're just as bad as the rest of them now and I can't help you!”

“They would have killed me! Don't you get it? I would have *died!*”

*“Then you should have died!* I wish you had, rather than bring this hell onto my friends!
All of this, all the suffering we've all gone through, it's *all your fault!*”

Remus' shout bounced of the walls and rang through the room, leaving a stunned silence in
its wake. Calista's face showed the betrayal she felt. Remus was broken inside, feeling just as
betrayed as she.

“You were supposed to understand,” she whispered.

“Get out,” Remus growled. He shuddered, feeling dizzy. He was so angry he wanted to bite her,
eat her until she could bring no more sin into his world. He wanted to feed.

“Remus?” Calista said uncertainly. Hair was sprouting all over his body; his hands were
elongating, curling into claws. . . His temper was such that it was bringing on the change, two
full weeks before the full moon. *Oh no.*

“Get out. Get out!” He growled at her. “I don't ever want to see you again!”

“Don't say that,” she said softly. She had been here when he was in wolf form; she was not
afraid.

“GET OUT!” Remus grabbed a large hand mirror that lay on top of the dresser and threw it at her.
Calista ducked and it hit the wall where her head would have been and shattered, bit of glass
raining down into her hair where they sparkled like jewels. They were followed by shards of wood as
Remus threw the entire oak dresser in her direction.

“Murderer,” Remus snarled. His face was changing; he was shaking in the grips of the seizure of
his change. His thoughts were becoming less human, the wolf was taking over and he was hungry and
angry.

“No!” Calista screamed. *It can't end like this. Please don't let it end like
this.* “Remus it's me, please--”

“I know it's you and I hate the very sight of you now GET OUT!!!” Remus struck her across
the face and she fell against the door. It gave way beneath her sudden weight and Calista tumbled
into the hallway. More wood splintered about her as the entire bed was thrown out the door. It
smashed into pieces; Calista screamed and threw her arms over her head. As soon as the rain of wood
paused, she scrambled to her feet. She could hear Remus snarling, ranting and raving inside the
bedroom but there was no way she was going back in there.

She fled down the hallway, clung to the railing of the stairs as she clattered down, bolted for
the doorway and ran down the path, fresh tears streaming down her face. Shards of wood and glass in
her hair scraped against her skin; she was bleeding from her legs, her arms, the blood was pouring
thick and viscous from the Dark Mark but Calista didn't care. She just ran as fast as her feet
would carry her.

Back in the shack, Remus fell to the floor as his legs shortened and his robes ripped as his
body changed into that of the werewolf. His vision changed, the images losing color but becoming
sharper, the smells invading his nose. Her scent was everywhere, all over this place, all over him
. . . the scent of a murderer.

His last human cry was her name, and then the wolf took over.

**********

The howl came through the open window in the Gryffindor common room, waking Lily up and causing
all four head to turn towards the direction of the sound.

“What the--?” Autumn asked

“It can't be,” James said in a hushed voice.

“Full moon isn't for two weeks!” Sirius cried.

“Something's gone wrong,” James said. He was deathly pale and very afraid.

“Maybe it's not Remus,” Lily said hopefully. The howl came again, and to the two boys who
knew it best, there was no mistaking it.

“Sonofa--” James and Sirius were already out the door before the girls followed, leaving the
fairy doll alone on the couch as a testament to the last bit of innocence.

************

Peter jerked around when he heard the wolf howl. Spike ducked and prayed he hadn't been
seen, and then risked a glance at the moon. It was only half full tonight. Remus couldn't have
. . . but the eerie feeling that had been shared by all took over, and Spike knew something
terrible had occurred again.

He heard scurrying footsteps and looked around to see Peter scrambling towards the Gates just as
four figures came bursting out of the castle. Spike jumped out of his hiding spot and sprinted to
catch up.

**************

Severus was going to meet Lucius when he saw the short, fat figure of Peter running as fast as
he could. *I didn't think I'd ever see him move that fast,* he thought. *Maybe
Honeydukes is having a chocolate shortage and he's running to get the last of it.* Severus
chuckled at his clever joke.

Another howl echoed through the night and he stopped, his blood running cold. He knew that howl;
it had rung in his ears as he had been pulled back along a narrow tunnel by his worst enemy.

Severus craned his neck to look at the sky. It wasn't full moon, but that didn't mean
anything. He knew that in moments of greatest rage or distress, werewolves could experience their
change.

*Calista. What did she do now?* He saw the leaner figure of Spike following in Peter's
footsteps and hurried after him, eager to see what was going on.

***************

James, Sirius, Lily and Autumn met up with Peter at the bottom of the castle steps and ran as
one towards the Gates leading to Hogsmede, Spike and Severus on their heels. They had just reached
the Gate when they burst open and a small, sobbing form ran through them. Lily knew that sickly
form instantly. Calista. Unseen by anyone, Severus ducked behind the nearest pillar and watched
from there.

Lily's blood began to boil. If that disgusting girl had done anything to Remus . . . Calista
tripped and nearly fell to the earth, but James caught her by her bleeding arms.

“Remus,” she sobbed. “He - he. . .” she broke down into hysterical sobs and buried her face in
her bloodied hands. Apparently, James was on the same wavelength as Lily because he grasped Calista
tight and shook her hard. Glass shards fell from her hair onto the ground, where they twinkled
innocently until her blood splattered on them and turned their light into gruesome darkness.

“What did you?” James yelled. She didn't answer him, so he shook her even harder until she
cried out from the pain.

*“What did you do?”* he demanded.

“Nothing!” she cried. “I didn't do anything, I swear! *I* *swear!*”

“Where is he?” Sirius said, coming forward to stand next to James.

“In the shack. . . He's in the Shrieking Shack,” Calista said. James tossed Calista aside
and she fell into Spike's arms.

“Stay with the girls,” James told Spike. He nodded, holding the sobbing Calista.

“James,” Lily said. He turned to her and smiled reassuringly.

“It will be all right,” he said. “Just stay here with Autumn and Spike. Lily nodded and grabbed
Autumn's arm. Sirius gestured to Peter, who nodded and all three boys transformed at once and
bolted out of the Gate.

Severus peeked out from behind the pillar and caught Calista's eyes as she cowered in
Spike's arms. She knew what he was silently asking her, and she nodded slightly. *Damn fool
girl.* He cursed her silently. He was going to kill her as soon as he got the chance.

Spike, Lily and Autumn turned to Calista and each silently thought about what to do with the
hysterical girl. Calista slowly realized she was being observed and stifled her sobs. She
straightened up and shook herself free of Spike's embrace and stared defiantly at each of them
in turn. Severus watched anxiously from his hiding place. *Get out of there. Get out of there you
silly girl!*

“If you didn't do anything, why were you over there in the first place?” Spike asked
cautiously.

“I - I uh--” *Oh, this is getting ridiculous,* she thought. *How many more excuses am I
supposed to come up with in one night?* She scanned her mind, trying to think of something and
came up short. *All right, Calista, time for Plan B.*

She bolted, flat out ran for it, heading in the direction of the lake.

“Unbelievable,” Autumn muttered, rolling her eyes.

“Go back inside,” Spike said grimly.

“Spike!” Autumn cried, but it was too late: Spike had gone after Calista.

“C'mon, Autumn, let's go in,” Lily said nervously. Autumn cast a concerned glance at her
friend. Lily had been through a lot this evening and it looked like the night was nowhere near
over. What fun. She put her arm around Lily's shoulders and led her back inside the castle.

Once the girls had gone in, Severus crept out from behind the stone pillar and silently followed
Spike and Calista's footsteps.

**A/N: That was fun…. :D**
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37. The Sacrifice
-----------------


**Chapter 35: The Sacrifice**


Calista ran, heading for the far side of the lake. She didn’t know how very near she was to the
site of Lucius’ first attack on Lily, but she wouldn’t have cared if she did. She had not lied to
Remus; the Mudblood did not matter to her.


“Serene!” She heard Spike calling to her, but she did not want to deal with an interrogation
tonight. She made a sharp right and veered away from the lakeshore. It was a shame Spike had
anticipated this from her. He caught her and held her small, struggling form in his strong
arms.


“Tell me everything,” he demanded of her.


“Let me go!”


“Not until you talk to me!”


“No! Let me go, let me go!” She was screaming, beating at Spike with her fists but he was much,
much stronger than her and she did no damage.


“You’re part of all this, aren’t you? Aren’t you?” He was furious, grabbing her by her bleeding
forearms. “You--” He felt something amid the blood seeping from her arm and he held her body
against him with one arm, heedless of her struggles, while he wiped away the blood from her left
forearm to reveal her gruesome, bleeding burn.


“You hag,” he whispered. “You’re not part of this; you’re the cause of it all!”


Spike threw Calista from him in disgust and she fell to the ground in a heap, scraping the palms
of her hands on the rocky ground. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at Calista.


“Reach for your own and I’ll hex you,” he threatened. “You are going to tell me everything,
slowly, so I don’t miss anything. And don’t lie to me, Serene, because if you do and I find you,
it’s all over.”


“You mean I still have a chance?” she asked sarcastically. Spike smiled grimly at her.


“Depends on what you have to tell me.”

There was a burst of red light and Spike was launched off of his feet and thrown to the ground
several feet away. Calista looked up in surprise to see Severus Snape standing where Spike had
been, wand aloft and a blazing fury in his eyes.

“You owe me big time,” he muttered to Calista as he helped her to her feet.


“We’ll discuss that later,” she said coldly. She wrenched her hand out of his grasp and rubbed
her aching arm. The mark was still bleeding profusely and she was beginning to get a bit dizzy.


“Here,” Severus said softly. He pulled a black scarf out of his pocket and tied it tight around
the brand.


“Thank you,” Calista said softly.


“We’ll talk later,” Severus said shortly, “but we need to deal with him.” he jerked his head in
the direction of the motionless form of Spike.


“Memory Charm again?”


“Seems like a good idea, don’t you think?”


Calista nodded as she and Severus walked over to Spike. Calista let out a gasp and grabbed
Severus by the arm. Spike’s head was lying on a large rock, blood seeping out from underneath his
head. Severus knelt down quickly and put his hand very near the boy’s mouth and nose.


“Damn,” he whispered.


“Is he dead?” Calista suddenly felt amazingly calm.


“Yes,” Severus said. He stood and wiped his hands on his robes. “I’m not sure what to do next,”
he admitted.


“I do.” Severus turned to Calista in surprise. Her face was grim and determined, her eyes were
calm, and when she spoke, her voice was even and assured.


“We have to bury him.”


*********


The werewolf was raging throughout the house, ripping up everything in its path. It was in a
terrible fury and hungry to boot. It saw the door Calista had not closed behind her on her hasty
exit. It was about to exit and forage for food when a large, bear-like dog stepped in its path.


The wolf snarled and charged. Just before it made contact with the dog, it was lifted off of its
feet by the antlers of a large stag, who threw the wolf into a wall. The door was kicked shut by
the dog’s back leg and now the wolf, the dog and the stag were trapped inside.


Spit drooled from the corner of the wolf’s mouth as it snarled at the other two animals. They
were backing it into a corner, and neither was easy prey. It saw a rat dart from the far wall and
head into the hallway, but it could not get to the rat easily enough so it didn’t try.


The air was suddenly filled with a new scent and it sniffed hungrily. *Human*. It looked at
there and saw that there was a boy in the doorway, holding a stick of wood. The human inside the
wolf recognized it as a wand, being held by his friend. A stream of light poured out of this wand
and enveloped the wolf. It howled in protest, but there was more human scent in the air now. The
other animals were gone and men stood in their places, holding wands of their own. More light
flowed from their wands until it was completely cocooned in light.


It felt itself calming, relaxing and he found he wasn’t hungry anymore, just sad. But his
friends were here and Remus was glad of that. He was still bathed in bright blue light, and he
realized he was seeing colors again.


Remus felt his claws retract and collapsed into a shuddering, naked, sweating mass on the dirty
floor. Peter ran and grabbed a blanket that was covering an old armchair and tossed it over Remus
as the light faded. It was smelly and the rough woolen material scratched his skin, but it covered
him so he didn’t complain. Remus was himself again.


Sirius, James and Peter were at his side in an instant. Sirius took his friend’s hand and
brushed his damp hair back from his forehead.


“Moony, are you all right?”


Remus found he could not speak, so he simply nodded. He was ashamed to realize tears were mixing
with the sweat on his face, but it was too late to hide them now.


“What happened?” James asked cautiously. Remus shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. He
couldn’t tell them, not yet. The grief was still too near, and he knew he’d change again if he
talked about Calista. So he said nothing.


“It’s going to be all right Moony,” James said soothingly.


“Everything’s ok mate,” Sirius said. Peter remained strangely silent, but Remus was still very
glad he was here. He needed all his friends with him now. They didn’t have to know what was
happening, they just had to be here.


He was so tired all of a sudden. He just wanted to go to sleep now, here on the floor, he didn’t
care. His limbs were so heavy, the world so blurry. Sirius and James helped him to his feet,
keeping the blanket around him and Peter held his wand aloft, tip lit to lead the way, as Sirius
and James carried Remus back to the castle.


*********


The hole was deep, at least five feet, maybe more. They didn’t dare dig any deeper or they would
hit water. Severus was surprised they had gotten as deep as they had, considering how close they
were to the lake.


Severus grabbed Spike’s head, Calista his legs and they threw him unceremoniously into his
makeshift grave. His limp body landed with a thud and Calista and Severus stood there a moment,
appraising thebody.


“You look like you’re going to be sick,” Calista commented without looking at Severus. She felt
slightly queasy herself but held it in nicely. “You should be used to this by now. You killed your
own sacrifice and took care of the body. The only reason they ever found Sara was because I didn’t
get back there in time.” When Severus didn’t comment, she turned to him.


“Right?” she pressed.


“I never killed anyone. The Master came up with the initiation idea after I had joined. You and
Peter are the only ones who’ve done it so far.”


There was complete silence from Calista and maybe that was why he didn’t see the attack coming.
She launched herself at him, screaming obscenities at the top of her lungs, her nails scratching
and clawing at his face. They fell over, with Calista on top flailing and swinging at him. He felt
her nails dig into his face very near his eyes and he realized she was actually trying to scratch
his eyes out. He somehow grabbed hold of her wrists and forced them away from his face.


“Now is not the time for this,” he yelled.


Calista drew back and spit in his face and tried to get at him, but he had her hands in a firm
grasp now and she was weak from the loss of blood.


“We can kill each other later,” he panted, “but we have to take care of this first!”


Calista stopped and glared at him, her eyes like daggers, but she got off of him and backed
away. Severus stood cautiously and tried to regain his breath.


“We have to fill the grave,” she said shortly. She turned away from him and picked up her wand.
Severus heaved a sigh of relief that she wasn’t going to attack him again.


“I heard that,” she said.


“I heard that,” he mimicked under his breath.


“I heard that too.”


“Knock it off,” he said roughly as he went to her side, holding his own wand.


They had magically filled the grave with dirt, covering Spike with five feet of earth. They had
just started to place large rocks over the grave when Severus stopped.


“I heard something,” he said.


“*Now* he gets a conscience,” Calista muttered, heaving a large rock in her small
hands.


“Use your wand, twit,” he said irritably, “and I really heard something. *Listen!*”


Calista dropped her rock and stood quietly. There were screams . . . screams coming from under
the ground . . . where they had buried Spike.


“I thought you said he was dead!” Calista whirled on Severus, who jumped backward, hands up to
protect his face.


“He wasn’t breathing,” Severus said defensively.


“That doesn’t mean dead, you idiot!”


Calista balled her hands into fists, raised her face to the sky and let out an earth shattering
scream of frustration.


“We have to get him out,” Severus said quickly. He lifted his wand and pointed it at the grave,
intending to magically un-dig the grave. Calista’s hand on his wrist stopped him.


“Why?”

*“WHAT?!?!”* He stared at Calista, aghast. *She can’t be serious.* Calista looked at
Severus and in that long, cold moment, there positions were changed forever.

“Consider this your sacrifice.”


Severus stared at her, disbelieving. *She’s not doing this.* Calista, he had thought, was
not a malicious person. Twisted, yes, devious certainly, but evil? He had told Lucius she’d had the
potential for great things with the Master but in two seconds she had surpassed even Lucius’
expectations. *She’s not doing this*, he thought again. He felt a sinking feeling in his
stomach as he came to the realization that she most certainly was doing this to him, and it was all
his fault.


“He’s alive,” Severus insisted.


Calista turned from him and conjured large rocks to cover the grave, further muffling Spike’s
screams for help issuing from the ground. She turned back to Severus with a malevolent smile on her
face.


“Not for long.”


********


**~Coast of** **Ireland****~**


Sirius, now in human form, was almost to the top of the very tall cliffs that lined the Irish
shore. *Just a bit farther now*, he told himself. Finally, he reached the top and pulled
himself onto the grassy earth, completely exhausted. He laid there, his limbs aching, gasping for
breath. Laughter bubbled over his lips and he rolled over to observe the night sky for the first
time in twelve years.


It was more wonderful than he had remembered. Glittering stars dotted the heavens and the moon
was almost full, its bright glow lighting the field in which he lay. Sirius hugged himself joyfully
and laughed and laughed, taking a precious moment to revel in his freedom. The air was sweet with
the smell only those who have been imprisoned can appreciate. The air was cool on his face, the
grass soft under him. He was a bit chilled in his still- damp clothes, but he didn’t care. He’d
been much colder in Azkaban.


He stood on his bare feet and slowly stretched out his limbs as far as he could. His spine
crackled; it was not used to this much movement. Sirius laughed again and flung his arms out,
spinning in circles like a child.


*Free at last . . . free at last. And now to Harry . . .*




38. The End of All Things
-------------------------



**Chapter 36****: The End of All Things**

**~~Where once was light, now darkness falls.**

**Where once was love, love is no more~~**

**~One Week Later~**

Life holds both good and bad things and each must take their turn eventually. The bad things are
always more remembered than the good things are, because bad things seem to have the tendency to
come all at once, while life spreads the good out more.

It was Friday. After the longest week of their lives, it was Friday. Nobody was happier to see
the weekend than Lily's band of cohorts. There was no sign of Spike, and the school in general
feared the worst. It was very reminiscent of the disappearance of Lauren O' Henry two years
ago. They had never found her either.

Autumn was in a state of near collapse. She sat next to Lily, her eyes red. She had confessed
only last night that she knew Spike was dead, but was still clinging to Dumbledore's spoken
hope that Spike would be found. Lily knew better. In her heart, she knew Spike was gone. And she
had a very good feeling that she knew who was responsible.

Calista was sitting between Severus Snape and Timothy Nott at the Slytherin table, calmly eating
her lunch and engrossed in a whispered conversation with Snape. Lily hated her, as much as she
hated the blonde devil whose back was to her now.

Remus had walked around in a state of complete misery all week. Lily had not said anything as to
his relationship with Calista; after a long talk with Remus the day after, they had decided that it
was his story to tell when he was ready. He hadn't told Lily what had happened in the Shrieking
Shack, but she assumed correctly that the relationship was over.

“I hope Moony's all right,” James said now. “He's missed all of his morning
classes.”

Lily looked at him and smiled. Sometimes it felt like James could read her mind.

“I'm sure he's ok,” she said softly. “Maybe he just needed some time alone.”

“Why would he?” Peter wondered.

“Why not? I'm sure he's just as upset as we all are,” Lily said quickly.

“Guys,” Sirius said softly. He jutted his chin towards the doors. A silence so thick had fallen
over the Great Hall you could have heard a pin drop. Dumbledore stood framed in the doorway,
surrounded by four Aurors from the Ministry of Magic, one of whom was Dumbledore's great friend
Alastor Moody. Cornelius Fudge, the Junior Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement was
also there. The look on Dumbledore's face was terribly sad as he gestured to the left of the
Hall.

The entire school followed the progress of the four Aurors as they crossed the Great Hall. Fudge
stayed by Dumbledore's side as he watched the proceedings. The Aurors came to a halt behind
Calista Serene, who was the only person in the entire Hall not watching them. She was methodically
eating her lunch, bit by bit. Moody cleared his throat and spoke, his voice carrying across the
room even though he spoke quietly.

**~~ Don't say goodbye, don't say `I didn't try.'~~**

“Calista Serene, you are under arrest for the murder of Sara Brown. You are also being held for
interrogation for your suspected involvement in the disappearances of Lauren O' Henry and
Samuel `Spike' Monahan. You are to come with us, immediately, to await your removal to your
holding cell in Azkaban prison.”

Students throughout the room gasped and whispered. Calista very calmly drained the last bit of
pumpkin juice from her goblet and stood up from her seat. Somehow, her eyes met Lily's across
the Hall. The two girls had a silent stare-off for a moment, and then to Lily's astonishment,
Calista gave the other girl a wink and a smile, then followed Moody and the Aurors from the
room.

**~~These tears we cry are falling rain,**

**for all the lies you told us, the hurt, the blame! And we will weep to be so alone.**

**We are lost, we can never go home.~~**

They took her to Flitwick's office to wait for the word from the Azkaban guards that her
cell was ready. Calista had this calm exterior thing working for her, but inside she was freaking
out. All the horror stories of Azkaban were coming back to haunt her. She felt very cool, despite
the warmth of the late afternoon.

She wondered idly who had told the Aurors about her. She had a feeling it had been him, and the
thought made her very sad, but she wasn't surprised. Three of the four Aurors stood guard
around the room, none of them meeting her eyes. Moody was with Fudge and Dumbledore, supposedly
prepping for her interrogation, if she actually got one.

*The initiation, the sacrifice, severus in the common room, remus the wolf in her arms, remus
the man in her arms, erasing remus and srius' memories, severus in the garden, severus in the
closets, in her room, in his room, anywhere they could, narcissa, narcissa's knife, remus and
remus and remus and severus and the master with his red eyes, remus and the wolf and spike and the
grave and severus, i don't want to die, i don't want to die, i don't want to
die*

“I don't want to go to Azkaban either,” she whispered suddenly. She saw one of the Aurors
eyes twitch to her. He looked vaguely familiar. She thought she vaguely remembered him from her
earlier days at Hogwarts; he'd been several of years ahead of her. She didn't know the
other two at all.

She had to escape; she wasn't willing to spend her life in prison. How to get away from
three trained Aurors though? There was a mirror hanging over the desk against the wall and she saw
herself reflected in it. Calista watched, stunned, as her reflection smiled at her and winked.
There was a red mist swirling in the eyes of her reflection. Calista looked around at the Aurors.
None of them seemed to see what she was seeing.

She understood what the message was. Give in completely and she would have her freedom. *What
the hell*, she thought. She had nothing left to lose. She closed her eyes and let the Master
in.

**~~ So in the end, I'll be what I will be. No loyal friend was ever there for
me.~~**

“Calista Serene. Calista Serene,” Sirius said as they left the Great Hall. “Can you believe
it?”

“Actually, yeah I can,” Autumn said. “I'm just surprised she's the only one.”

“Be fair Autumn,” Peter said. “Just because they're Slytherins, it doesn't make them all
murderers. It could have been anyone.”

“No, it just happened to be the most twisted of them all,” Autumn said sourly.

“I'll be back in a bit,” Lily said. She gave James a quick kiss and ran off.

“Where is she going?” Peter asked.

“To find Remus,” James said.

“Then why don't we go--”

“Because,” James cut Sirius off, “they need each other right now. Not us, and I'm okay with
that.”

**~~****Now we say goodbye, we say `you didn't try!'**

**These tears you cry have come too late. Take back the lies, the hurt, the blame!**

**And you will weep when you face the end alone.****~~**

Lily walked around the gardens until she found Remus. He was sitting in a remote forgotten
corner of the gardens, under a statue of a crying fairy holding a flower. He looked as miserable as
the statue.

Lily sat next to him and nudged him with her elbow. She looked in his eyes until she won the
grudging little smile she needed to see, then wrapped her hands around his arm and snuggled next to
her dear friend.

“Cal told me about this place,” Remus said softly. “She used to come here to think.”

“You turned her in, didn't you?”

“Yeah,” he whispered.

Lily was quiet for a bit, taking in the overgrown garden around her*. It was the kind of place
Calista would frequent*, she thought. Yet, it had a certain peace to it that Lily enjoyed.

“Remus, I'm so sorry,” Lily whispered. She rested her head against his and closed her eyes.
“Truly I am.”

“I know, Lily-girl. I know.”

The two friends stayed there until night fell, then they went in together.

************

Peter knew Calista was going to take the fall for what he did to Lauren O' Henry, but he
didn't care. Calista had almost ruined everything, she was a sicker mind than most of them; if
anyone deserved Azkaban, she did. It actually made his life easier. She could tell the world it was
him and who would believe her now? She was a murderer, he was a Gryffindor. It was foolproof. He
could serve the Master better now.

************

Severus, Lucius, Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Rabastan and Narcissa sat around the fire talking about
the Stunning Moment of 1978: the arrest of Calista Serene.

“Come clean, everyone,” Narcissa said. “Which one of you turned her in?”

“I didn't,” Bellatrix said.

`Nope,” said Rabastan.

“It wasn't me,” claimed Rodolphus.

“I certainly didn't do it,” Lucius said defensively.

“It wasn't any of us, Narcissa,” Severus said quietly. He fell silent again, gazing into the
fire.

“What?” Bellatrix pressed him.

“She told Remus Lupin she murdered Sara Brown. I think he turned her in.”

“She did what?”

“I don't believe it.”

“I knew she was crazy.”

“Only Calista would run to a werewolf and expect sympathy.”

“She wasn't looking for sympathy,” Severus said in that same quiet voice.

“Then what was she looking for?” Lucius demanded.

“Bloody hell if I know,” Severus shrugged. He stood up abruptly. “I heard a rumor that the
Aurors are going to be searching the Slytherin dorm rooms for more evidence. I suggest we hide some
thing quick.”

“I have one more question,” Rabastan asked. “Did she kill Monahan?”

“No.”

“Ah, I would have thought she--”

“I did. She just helped me cover it up.”

Everyone's jaw hit the floor as they looked up at Severus.

“You're joking,” Bellatrix whispered in an awed voice. He noticed she was gazing up at him
with a mixture of something like wonderment and adoration. *And taking second place for Calista
Serene as Most Twisted Evil Freak. . . Bellatrix Black!* his mind thought wildly. He almost
laughed, but he was too afraid.

“I have some things to go hide, as I'm sure you all do,” he said briskly. “If you'll
excuse me.” Severus swept up the stairs and out of sight.

“Wicked cool,” Bellatrix said.

“I didn't think he had it in him,” Lucius said admiringly. “He's right; I have to take
care of some things if they're doing a search.”

One by one, they stood up and went to their rooms until Narcissa was the only one left. She
stared at the doorway her future husband had disappeared behind until her vision blurred. Something
occurred to her suddenly, and she stood and quickly went to her dormitory. Bellatrix was stuffing
the last of her Dark Rune stones in a bag.

“I have a lose stone under my bed if you need to hide anything,” she offered her sister as
Narcissa entered the room.

“Thanks,” Narcissa said distantly. She stared at Calista's bed. It was neatly made by the
house elves; the warming pans had finally been taken away. Narcissa knew Calista kept the knife she
had given her between the mattress and the box spring of her bed. She thought she would take it
back, since Calista obviously wasn't going to be using it anytime soon and it did have the
Black family crest on it.

Narcissa crossed to the bed, knelt down and lifted up the mattress.

“What are you doing?” Bellatrix asked.

“I gave something to Calista for safekeeping. I'd better take it back, don't you
think?”

“No joke there.”

Yes, there was the red leather box with its silver stitching, just as she had anticipated.
Narcissa pulled the box out and let the mattress fall back into its usual position. She knelt on
the floor by Calista's bed and turned the box over in her hands thoughtfully. *Calista, you
sad, sorry child. You should have done it while you could.* Narcissa opened the box. There was
the silver silk, soft and shiny and *empty*.

“Calista, you tricky little thing,” Narcissa laughed softly.

“Huh?” Bellatrix crossed over to her sister and stared uncomprehendingly at the empty box.

“I think Calista knew the Aurors were coming,” Narcissa said, looking up at her sister, “and she
apparently made a contingency plan.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning we haven't seen the last of Calista Serene.”

*****************

Lily and Remus walked past Flitwick's office on their way back to their common room and met
Dumbledore, Moody and Fudge walking from the opposite direction.

“Wait,” Remus said softly to Lily. He pulled Lily's hands off of his arm and hurried up to
Dumbledore.

“Headmaster,” he asked, “I was wondering if I could just say something to Calista.”

“Remus,” Lily began.

“I don't think--” Fudge started.

“All right Remus.” Dumbledore's quiet acceptance shocked everyone.

“But Dumbledore,” Fudge said, “that girl--”

“Two minutes,” Dumbledore said firmly. “And we will be going in there with you, Mr. Lupin. I
will take no more chances with the lives of my students.”

“Yes, sir.” Remus turned to Lily. “I just have to say one thing to her, Lil'. Then it's
over.”

“Fine,” Lily said, “but I'm staying right here.” She folded her arms and glared stubbornly
at Remus, who laughed in spite of himself.

“You're a great friend Lily.”

“I know.” She winked at him and grinned, then nodded towards the door. “Get on with it
then.”

Remus took a deep breath and nodded at Lily, then to Dumbledore. Moody walked forward and opened
the door.

“Oh my god.”

“What?” Lily pushed herself forward until she was standing between Remus and Moody. “Holy --”
Lily said a word she had never said before and didn't even care.

The sight would haunt Lily for the rest of her life. Flitwick's office was in complete
shambles and the window was broken, pieces of glass and the window frame itself hung at strange
angles. The three Aurors who had been left to guard Calista were dead, their glassy eyes staring at
the ceiling. It looked like two had been killed by Avada Kedavra, but the third one (who was indeed
familiar: he was a distant cousin of Calista's that she hadn't seen since she was eleven)
had apparently put up a fight: he was bleeding in several places.

“Stab wounds,” Moody said as he bent over the body.

Fudge was white and shaking, his hand covering his mouth. Dumbledore surveyed the room silently,
his expression exquisitely sad, but quiet, as only Dumbledore could look. Lily reached out a hand
blindly and Remus grabbed it tight, squeezing her fingers until they actually hurt but she
didn't say anything.

“I think,” Dumbledore said quietly, “that I need to take my students to their dormitory now.
Alastor, I can leave you and Cornelius with this for now?”

“Of course.” Moody nodded curtly at Dumbledore. Dumbledore turned to Remus and Lily, who could
not take their eyes off of the massacre in front of them.

“Mr. Lupin, Miss Evan, come with me please.” Dumbledore was firm; it was time to go. Lily was
shaking, so Remus put his arm around her. He felt oddly numb, devoid of emotion. They went into the
hallway and Dumbledore shut the door behind them.

“I am going to allow you to return to your friends tonight,” Dumbledore said. “However, if
either of you, indeed, if any of your friends should hear anything from or about Miss Serene, you
must inform me immediately. Do you both understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Remus said.

“She won't come after us,” Lily said. “She'll leave us alone.”

“Why do you think that, Miss Evans?”

Lily just looked at Remus. There are no ways to describe the look on his face. It was the final
stab in a dying heart.

**~~And you will weep when you face the end alone.**

**You are lost, you can never go home.**

**You are lost, you can never go home.~~**

Bags were packed; the Leaving Feast had come and gone. Now, they simply waited until the sun
rose, enjoying their last night at Hogwarts. Sirius, James, Remus and Peter had made one last
secret trip to Hogsmeade and gotten as much as they could carry for the night, and for the trip
home, which for four boys was quite a lot. They had the misfortune of being caught by Filch on the
way upstairs, however (“Wouldn't you know, we get caught on our last run,” Sirius had grumbled)
but since they were now officially Hogwarts graduates, Filch could not punish them. He did,
however, manage to confiscate the map, which Peter had let fall to the ground. The poor boy was
thoroughly cursed by his three companions as they ran upstairs to Gryffindor Tower, but they got
over it quickly due to high emotions of their last night at school.

They sat in a circle, James, Lily, Remus, Autumn, Peter and Sirius. They didn't leave room
for anyone to come and join them. It was to be just them tonight.

“A drink,” James said somberly, “for us. For the Marauders and our girls,” he nodded to Lily and
Autumn, who laughed and raised their butterbeers, “and for those who should be here and who
aren't.”

“Cheers,” Sirius said.

“Cheers,” Peter echoed. Everyone's bottles clanked together and they all took a solemn
drink.

“Okay, we spent half of this year depressed,” Sirius said. “A pact for the evening: PARTY!” He
yelled the last word to the room at large and everyone laughed and agreed. It was a night for
celebration, not mourning. There had been enough mourning.

“So, we're all good right?” James asked, looking pointedly at Lily as he said this.

“Yes,” she said exasperatedly. “he's been like this for over two months,” she murmured to
Autumn.

“Closer to three,” Autumn countered. “Ever since your little well deserved breakdown. Can you
blame him?”

“No,” Lily sighed. She watched him laugh with Sirius.

“I think it's cute,” Autumn declared.

“What about you and Sirius?” Lily whispered.

“Long since done, Lily-girl. Some thing just weren't meant to be,” Autumn said
cheerfully.

“Well, you seem to have a good attitude about it,” Lily said.

“Che sera, sera, Lily-bean!” Autumn raised her bottle, then proceeded to chug it contents in one
gulp.

“Whatever will be--”

“-will be,” they sang together before going into gales of laughter. They noticed all four boys
giving them the strangest looks and laughed even harder.

“Women,” Sirius shook his head and gulped his drink. “Can't live with `em--”

“Don't you finish that sentence,” Lily warned.

“Peace, peace.” Sirius held up his hands in surrender. He had long given up the pillow fight
revenge when it came to Lily.

“Since everyone is so bleeding cheerful tonight,” James said, “I'm going to give this one
more try.”

“Uh-oh,” Sirius said as James gulped down the last of his butterbeer. “Jamsie, what're you
thinking?”

“I'm scared,” Remus said.

“Hold me,” Autumn whimpered and she grabbed onto Remus like a lifesaver as they quivered in mock
fear.

“Losers,” James grumbled. He pulled out a very familiar small velvet box, which sent Autumn into
screaming tangents. Remus clamped his hands over her mouth and wrestled her to the ground.

“Quick James! I can't hold her forever! Go man GO!”

Lily was smiling, but she cast a last glance at Sirius. He met her eyes and smiled at her. Lily
beamed, knowing things would be all right between them. *Oh Sirius, part of me will always love
you. I wish I could tell you that.* From the look on his face, she saw that he knew, just as she
knew about him. *Strange how things move on*, she thought. *A year ago, I hated them both
and now I love them both. And one love I have to ignore, and that is somehow all right with both of
us, even though we never talked about it. Life is strange.*

“Lily,” James started, but she cut him off.

“Yes,” she said. James blinked in surprise.

“Do I even get to--?”

“Ouch!” Autumn had bitten Remus' hand and was squealing excitedly again as she tried to
wrestle him off of her. Peter jumped over to help Remus pin her to the ground.

“Give her the ring, Prongs,” Remus cried from somewhere between Autumn and Peter. “Just give her
the ring!! AAUGH!!” The wrestlers rolled over and nearly tossed Remus into the fire. Peter's
elbow caught Remus somewhere around his midsection and Autumn accidentally poked Peter in the
eye.

“Help,” Remus moaned. “Oh, my pancreas.”

“Could you pick a more random organ?” Sirius laughed. (LMAO)

“Give me a minute and we'll see what I come up with,” Remus grinned. “Why, hello Autumn. How
ya doin?” They had rolled until Autumn was straddling Remus and Peter was hanging on Autumn's
back.

“Too much weight,” Remus cried.

“Tickle her, Pete!” Sirius yelled.

“Touch me and die,” Autumn said instantly.

“I'm just following orders,” Peter yelled.

“I am trying to have a romantic moment here people!” James cried, but he was laughing.

“Good luck with that, mate,” Remus said as he tried to keep Autumn's hands away from his
ribcage.

Lily laughed and clapped her hands. “We did the romance and I screwed it up, remember? My answer
is yes, so stop torturing us all!” Lily threw her arms around James' neck and they tumbled to
the floor, Lily planting butterfly kisses all over his face as they laughed.

“I hang out with the strangest people,” Sirius laughed as he opened another round of butterbeers
for everyone. He leaned back and surveyed his group of hysterical, wonderful friends. *We'll
be all right now,* he thought. *It won't be perfect, but it will be all right. We
survived! We'll be fine now.*

**~Department of Mysteries. The Final Battle of Sirius Black~**

Bellatrix's second jet of red light hit Sirius squarely in the chest. He didn't feel any
pain, only surprise as he began to fall. He saw Dumbledore turn, saw Harry running out of the
corner of his eye. He felt the fabric of the curtain begin to wash over him and he knew he was dead
before he actually died.

*I don't want to die*, he thought hysterically. *I'm not ready*. It was much
too late for any of that. He saw Remus' face, already mourning as he watched, helpless, as
Sirius fell. *My poor Moony. Take care of Harry for me*, he thought, willing Remus to see his
mind before the curtain brushed over his face. He heard Bellatrix screaming triumphantly, heard
Harry screaming his name over and over and the world faded from color to gray to black as he fell
behind the curtain.

Something caught him and Sirius stumbled backwards into someone's arms.

“Careful there, Padfoot.” Sirius' breath would have caught in his throat except he realized
quickly he was no longer breathing. He knew that voice, although he hadn't heard it for
fourteen years.

“James?” Disbelief, but he turned and there he was, face to face with his best friend again.
James' eyes were sad, but he was smiling. Sirius threw his arms around James and hugged with
all of his might.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,” he was saying over and over.

“Shhh, Padfoot, it's all right now,” James said soothingly. Sirius released him and stood
back. James looked exactly the same as he did when Sirius had last seen him alive. Sirius looked
behind him and saw to his surprise that the veil was gone. He could still hear the sounds of the
battle; he recognized Remus screaming for Harry.

“James, Remus and Harry--”

“Are outside of our reach now,” James said sadly. Sirius knew his eyes would be filled with
tears, but the dead do not cry except under the most severe of circumstances.

“They'll be all right,” James said. “Trust me.”

“Are you sure?” Sirius was afraid for the people he had left behind.

James smiled, nodded and held out his hand. “Take my hand, Sirius. I came down here to get you,
and its time to go now.”

“Are they up there?” Sirius asked. “The others?”

“Almost everyone,” James said. “You'll see when you get there. Just take my hand.”

Sirius looked at James for a long time. The battle had faded; there were other sounds now,
muted, far away and unimportant.

“The battle is long over. It's a regular work day now,” James said, answering Sirius before
he even spoke. “Tempus fugit.”

“Time flies,” Sirius said softly. “Well, lead on my friend.” He placed his hand in James'
and they began to walk together. “I've missed you.”

“I've missed you too. I'm glad you're here.” James squeezed his hand.

“Will I get used to it?”

“Eventually.”

Sirius began to get excited. He would get to see everyone again: Sara and Spike and Autumn and
Lily. . . he had no idea what he would find when he arrived at his destination, but for the moment,
being here with his best friend was more than enough, and he squeezed James' hand back as the
sounds from the other world faded into nothing behind them.

**THE END**

For Kira and Tony

1980 - 2003 and 1976 - 2003

*The story will be continued in `Return of the Shadow'*

**A/N:** Well, my fine friends, we've reached the end of this tale! I can't believe
it came upon us so fast! What a trip, huh? I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed
writing it. I shall be posting the sequel, *Return of the Shadow*, within the hour so we can
get started on the next part of the story as soon as possible.

For those curious, Kira and Tony were two people I knew who were big Harry Potter fans. I met
them when I started chemotherapy sessions a year and a half ago. Kiera gave me the Lily/Sirius
idea, and Tony encouraged me to write it down. He also came up with the title. Both were
enthusiastic editors and gave me much needed advice with the telling of this tale, which was
actually meant to be much much shorter than it turned out.

Both Kiera and Tony have sinced passed away.

This was my first attempt at writing, ever, and so it has all the burdens of a first story and
at times it rambles too much (just like me!) but I wouldn't change it now for anything.

And as always, please review. I do adore any comments I get, and have taken several to heart
with some of my more recent writings.

-me

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