Framboise et Coquelicot

DISCLAIMER: As you will notice reading this fic, I’m no JKR. Nothing belongs to me and I’m not making any money with it.

AUTHOR’S NOTES: This is my take on how Lily and James came to be. I tried to make it different but there are so many fics on them out there that it’s nearly impossible. I hope you like it and don’t forget to read and review!

A big thank you to my wonderful beta Charlotte Black!

Framboise et Coquelicot

Chapter one: To get your friend back

The late afternoon sun was streaming through the kitchen window, its beams shining on the spotless tile floor.

"Lily darling, how many jars do you intend to fill with that sticky stuff? We don’t have that much room in the cupboards," the man said, eyeing the array of glass jars standing on the kitchen counter in neat rows, looking very much like small soldiers.

Lily turned towards her husband, a wooden spoon in her hand coated with a thick red mixture, a scowl on her face.

"For your information, that ‘sticky stuff’ is called raspberry jam. If you had paid a little more attention to the arranging of the house when we first moved in, you would have known that I put a special charm on those cupboards. You could put your mother’s entire collection of Stupefied garden gnomes in them and there would still be some room to stuff you in there to keep them company."

The man smiled and reached to pull on a lock of Lily’s dark red hair.

"Oh, aren’t we touchy today, my little Poppy. I should have known better than to tease you on your ‘let’s make raspberry jam’ day."

Lily opened her mouth to deliver a well-deserved put-down but all her anger vanished when she felt another firm mouth close on hers. She melted in his embrace as soon as he pulled her to him, and she locked her arms around his neck. Some raspberry jam was dripping into her husband’s hair from the spoon she was still holding, and her fingers were sticky from too many ‘dip and tastes’, but she felt perfectly content; she had everything she could wish for. She pulled back slightly after a while, and her green eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Well well well Mr Diplomat, is that all you can do to make me forgive you? I must say, I am quite disappointed. I sincerely hope you can do better." Lily pressed herself seductively against his chest.

"Oh, I assure you I can."

His husky voice sent shivers down her spine, and she had to close her eyes when he lightly ran a hand though her hair, along her jaw, down her neck… Lily had never known that making raspberry jam could make you feel so good. She would definitely have to do it mo -

BANG!

Lily jerked awake and found herself sitting at a desk in a Hogwarts’ classroom. She blinked and looked around, trying to locate the source of the noise that had distracted her from a most agreeable dream. Her eyes came to rest soon enough on James Potter and Sirius Black, who were looking, or at least trying to look, quite sheepish. Professor Binns was hovering above some broken glass and a small pool of black ink, his ghostly eyebrows knit together in a scowl, staring down at the pair.

"Parker! Brown!" he barked. "What is the meaning of this?"

"It’s nothing, Professor: I just knocked over my ink bottle in my eagerness to take some notes on the seventy ninth Goblin Rebellion," Sirius answered. When he saw that the professor was not very impressed by his explanation, he put on his most charming smile and quickly added, "I am sorry for disrupting the lesson."

Binns grunted but did not pursue the matter further. "Just clean up your mess, will you," he said, floating back to his desk.

"Now, where was I before Mr Brook interrupted me... Ah yes! Melvolin the Lunatic was quartered publicly after he was found guilty of..."

The class fell back into a stupor again as Binns droned on. Looking idly around her, Lily noticed that James and Sirius were whispering animatedly, but as discreetly as they could. Now, that was odd, she thought. The pair usually snored their way through History of Magic, probably catching up on the hours of sleep they lost while wandering around the school at night with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. But Remus and Peter had promptly gone back to sleep and were oblivious to what was going on between their two friends seated at the desk in front of them. To Lily, it looked like James and Sirius were having an argument of some sort. Well, they can argue all they want, she thought, yawning. She didn’t give a damn. Now, if only she could go back to her nice dream before the end of the -

"Well, that’s it for today, class. You will read the chapters concerning the eightieth Goblin Revolution in your textbooks for next time. Don’t forget a small test is always a possibility."

Oh well. It would have to wait for another time. While stuffing her blank sheets of parchment, her quill and ink bottle into her bag, she wondered what was wrong with her lately. She was not one to fall asleep in class, even in History of Magic. Classes had started on Monday, September 2nd and today was Friday the 6th of that same month. Not even a week back at Hogwarts and already slacking. She would have to pull herself together, and quick. Comforted in her resolution, she suddenly remembered she had a prefect meeting to attend, History of Magic being the last lesson of the day. She shouldered her bag and left the classroom in a hurry. Still, the dream had been more than nice. Her ‘husband’ had called her ‘Poppy’, her occasional nickname, which she usually hated. It was funny, she couldn’t remember what he looked like. She couldn’t remember his name either.

"I must be getting really desperate to conjure up a dream with a charming and handsome faceless husband," she muttered to herself as she walked through the corridors. She was feeling incredibly lonely these days; well, for quite a long time, actually. It was like there was something important missing from her life. Sure, she had friends, and very good friends at that, but still the void was there. She longed for that contentment she had felt in her dream. And also, though it was more deeply buried and more confusing, she was afraid of that madman Voldemort cavorting around. But he would surely be shipped to Azkaban soon, wouldn’t he? "That’s right Lily, keep deluding yourself", she snorted. She remembered the first time she had heard his name, in her third year. She remembered the feeling of dread she had experienced, the cold shivers running down her spine...

"Hey Lily! Wait for me!"

The voice woke Lily from her thoughts, and she turned around to see James Potter jogging towards her, smiling.

"I thought you said we could walk to the meeting together?" James said as he stopped in front of her, not a bit out of breath.

Lily stared at him blankly; when on earth had she said that? Seeing her clueless expression, James patiently explained, "You told me this morning after breakfast, remember?"

She must be really far gone if she couldn’t even remember a conversation she’d had only a few hours ago. Lily Evans never forgot anything, it simply wasn’t in her nature. Her eyes wandered over James’ face, examining the features she knew so well. His dark blue eyes looked concerned behind his round glasses, and for once, his black hair was not in the way either. She rather liked the new haircut, she thought idly before realising he was waiting for her to say something. She smiled sheepishly. "I’m sorry James, I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. My mind has been wandering in the clouds and I forgot."

James shrugged; he didn’t seem put out. "Happens to everyone."

"Well, it doesn’t usually happen to me," Lily said as she started walking again. "It feels strange."

James laughed as he forced himself to walk slowly to stay close to Lily. He was very tall for his age, and her head barely reached his shoulder. She looked up at him, frowning, and he grinned. "Welcome to the real world, Princess. I can give you a tour if you want, now that you’ve joined us mere mortals in this puzzling place we like to call Earth."

"Oh, shut up!" she said playfully.

In fact, she felt a bit confused. She would usually have accompanied her remark with a shove on his shoulder or a small kick in the shin, like she still did with Remus and Sirius, and occasionally Peter. The truth was she sometimes felt uneasy around him. She didn’t know what to make of him, and it bothered her. They had met at King’s Cross Station when she was trying to get onto Platform 9 ¾ for the first time. She had spent the whole journey to Hogwarts with him and his friends in a compartment all to themselves. They had been relatively close ever since, though having found her own friends afterwards, she did not really hang around with them or seek them out on a regular basis. Things had changed when she and James had been appointed prefects to represent Gryffindor House. They were thrown together much more, and sparks flew when they argued on some point or other. She had found that James could be quite resentful, and certainly held grudges for a long time. She thought of the biggest fight they’d had, just after New Year, and of the effects it still had on their friendship. This year’s Head Boy, Howard Clint, then a 6th year Ravenclaw prefect, had asked her out repeatedly throughout the year and she had finally agreed to spend New Year’s Eve with him. It had not been very romantic. They had patrolled Hogwarts corridors late at night in case any of the few students staying over the holidays decided to start the year with a bang. As it happened, a couple of Slytherins did have that in mind, and blew out the second floor girls’ toilets while Lily and Howard were checking the Astronomy Tower. The incident had been discussed during the next prefect meeting, and James had practically blown up. He had accused Lily of neglecting her duties, of using the patrol as an excuse to spend the night in the Astronomy Tower with Howard. Lily had not been the only one he had lashed out at, Howard received his share of the reprimand. It took nearly two months for James to start speaking to her even cordially again. Lily suspected it was because of the gentle persuasion of Maureen that he finally gave in and made up with her. Maureen was a very pretty Hufflepuff girl James had suddenly shown up with on Valentine’s Day. James had never dated anyone before; he didn’t seem interested, so it was quite unexpected. Lily was surprised to find she liked the girl quite a lot, and although James had broken up with her long before the end of the year, she still talked to Maureen from time to time. But Lily had never felt very much at ease with James afterwards; she felt that he had not yet forgiven her. Which was completely unfair in Lily’s opinion. It wasn’t her fault something had happened. What real use could two patrolling prefects be in a castle the size of Hogwarts? The Astronomy Tower was very popular with the students, especially with couples in search of privacy, and it had seemed logical to search it intensively. But of course a mind like James’ would jump to the wrong conclusion. What she resented the most, though, was that he had accused her of letting her relationship get in the way of her prefect duties although it was absolutely untrue. And on top of all that, it was perfectly acceptable for him to have someone in his life. Because Maureen hadn’t been the last girlfriend he had. Oh, he wasn’t exactly one a playboy; he was decent boyfriend material, but he had certainly taken advantage of his good looks on several occasions.

All her ruminations would have landed her right in the vanishing step of the south staircase if James hadn’t stopped her in time. She had Quidditch to thank for his very good reflexes.

"Careful here, daydreamer," he said gently, removing the hand he had placed on her arm. "You don’t want to visit the hospital wing during the first week back, do you?"

His blue eyes were twinkling the way they used to before last year’s spectacle, and Lily felt instantly better. He was back, her friend was back. How could she have had all those sombre thoughts? Everything was fine, he was here, like he always had been since they first met; except for those horrible two months, of course. She did not pause to ask herself why James had reverted back to his old self. Perhaps something had been the matter with her after all. In any case, it was good to be back from whatever dreary place she had been sulking in lately. She put on a sultry smile and batted her eyelashes seductively. She loved teasing him. "Why James, I thought it was every guy’s dream to sweep me off my feet and carry me to the hospital wing."

James seemed a little taken aback at first, but recovered quickly and leaned forward, his lips nearly grazing her ear. "Lily, I assure you, you have no idea what I picture us doing in my dreams," he whispered.

Lily shivered and closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them again James had pulled back and was grinning from ear to ear, a little flame dancing in his eyes.

"It’s good to have you back Evans," he said. "We’ve missed you."

"Oh come on! I wasn’t that bad, was I"

"Yes, you were."

"Shut up, you insufferable prat!"

This time she didn’t have any problem with smacking his shoulder. Yes, it was great to have her friend back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Gryffindor common room was particularly noisy that evening. All the conversations had just one subject: the announcement Dumbledore had made at dinner. Every one had been surprised, except for the prefects who had been told during the first meeting of the year.

Lily was sitting on the rug close to the fire with her best friend Marian McMillan, a pretty black haired witch of a happy disposition. Tonight, however, her usually smiling face wore a preoccupied expression and her light blue eyes were staring blankly into the fire. She sneaked a glance at Lily, who was engrossed in a book the size of Hogwarts, a History, apparently oblivious to the excited chatter going on around them. Marian knew better than to try and talk to her friend when she was reading, but she couldn’t help herself.

"Why do you think they suddenly decided to re-open the Duelling Club?" she blurted out.

Lily looked up from her book and raised an eyebrow.

"I mean," Marian went on, "it’s not as if any of the students asked for it. I went to the library after dinner to read up on it, and I found out that there hasn’t been a Duelling Club since 1824. So why now?"

Lily sighed. "Marian, you know why as well as I do, as well as most of the students do for that matter."

"Well, they don’t act as if they know. Look at them," Marian said, frustrated, turning her head away from the fire to glare at the various groups of excited Gryffindors scattered about the common room. "They all look so eager and happy about it. Can you tell me what there is to be eager and happy about?"

Lily understood how her friend felt, but she also understood why the others acted like they did, and she tried to explain. "Marian, every one is afraid of Voldemort. He has been very daring during the summer. People are afraid to even say his name now. Most of the students - well, most of the older students, anyway - know that this club is here to train us when it comes to attack and defence so we are prepared for the dark times to come. They try to make the most of it by pretending it’s just another way to prove the superiority of their own House. We’re still kids, Marian. Dumbledore didn’t announce the real reason behind the club directly so that we can act like normal teenagers while we are at Hogwarts!"

In fact, Dumbledore hadn’t announced half of what was going to happen this year, but Lily wisely kept that to herself. It was classified prefect information after all, and the whole thing would be revealed at the special assembly scheduled for Sunday morning.

Marian had been plucking at the thick rug angrily during her friend’s tirade, and the small lion that had been the recipient of her agitated treatment looked more like a sickly overgrown golden rat with half its fur missing. Marian restored it to its original state with an angry wave of her wand before turning to Lily. "I don’t understand how you of all people can stay that passive. You're Muggleborn, Lily. You should -" She stopped suddenly, she wasn’t getting anywhere like that. "Look," she said more calmly. "I’m tired, I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. I’m going to bed."

She got up and headed for the staircase leading to the 6th year girls’ dormitory. It was now Lily’s turn to find the fire fascinating. She wouldn’t let what Marian had said bother her, she told herself. She didn’t need the worry. A lot of people considered Lily very strong, they thought she could handle anything, and that’s why she was nearly guaranteed to be Head Girl next year. She didn’t want them to know how fragile she really was. It often frightened her to realise how little it would take for her to crumble. She had to show a diamond-hard exterior to the world if she wanted to be considered for the Auror training she was dreaming of. She couldn’t let her worries for her family and friends overcome her.

"Lily?"

The voice was soft and a bit hesitant, as if doubtful of its welcome.

"What do you want Remus?" she asked without taking her eyes from the flames.

"Well, you’ve been staring at that fire with such fascination that we thought you might consider jumping into it so you two could get better acquainted," Remus tried to joke. However, the worry in his voice was hard to miss.

Lily turned her head to her left. James, Sirius and Peter were sitting at their regular table, trying not to look too interested in what was going on near the fire. By ‘we’, Remus meant them, the Marauders. The famous pranksters of Hogwarts. She caught James’ worried eyes before hastily turning to Remus.

"So, you were sent to be my noble saviour?" she asked with a smile.

She had always liked Remus without knowing why. It had taken her some time to trust the other three boys completely, but she had always felt safe with Remus right from the start. That same Remus was presently squirming a little as she gazed up at him from her position on the rug. Was that a blush on his normally pale cheeks? Or was it the heat from the fire?

"Er..." he started uneasily. "Actually I was sent here to ask you if you would play a game of chess with me. Those idiots," - he gestured vaguely in the direction of the three boys sitting in their corner - "told me they weren’t interested. So here I am."

Lily knew it was a lie, and a bad one at that. Sirius never passed up an opportunity to try and beat Remus. You would never be able to tell from his tranquil exterior that Remus could be a real hellion as well as a wonderful strategist. He and Sirius had an ongoing friendly little competition between them as to who could do better than the other. So far it was a draw. She let Remus’ lie pass; she could really do with the company.

"I would love to play chess with you, Remus," she said.

Remus grinned and pulled her to her feet. He was a bit smaller than James but a bit bulkier. She nevertheless still had to look up to meet his kind grey eyes, which were twinkling mischievously at the moment.

"Since you are being so nice," he said, "I will try to give you the chance to actually win a game for once."

"Aren’t you the gallant one tonight! Who gave you some lessons? Can’t be James, and it certainly wasn’t Sirius either..." Lily pretended to ponder the matter, and Remus laughed.

"Nope!" he said. "I’m self-taught. I must be really good if you appreciate it so much."

Lily passed a surprisingly good evening with Remus considering the circumstances. They talked and laughed together while playing, behaving as if they didn’t have a care in the world. Despite Remus’ words, she didn’t win a single game of the three they played. It was one thing to act happy and enjoy the false sentiment of security it provided, but it was another to beat Remus at chess.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As she stepped into her dormitory, all her gaiety abandoned her quite suddenly as she looked around the room she had occupied since her first year at Hogwarts. She could see the moon shinning high in the sky through the window, bathing the room in an ethereal light. Its beams fell, seemingly at random, on different objects scattered around the place. The Teen Witch Weekly thrown carelessly on the floor, a blond model waving and smiling on the cover; the wizarding make-up case opened on Amy Langsbury’s bedside table; a solitary glittering high-heeled sandal at the foot of Marian’s bed, its sister probably forgotten in some other place. They had spent the previous evening dressing up and trying some make-up on, the goal being to look like the blond Teen Witch model whose toothy smile appeared even more dazzling in the ghostly light. Lily recalled her earlier conversation with Marian. Yes, they were kids, even though she didn’t feel like one. They shouldn’t have to grow up so soon. She sighed and was about to get into bed when she heard Marian calling her.

"Lily?" she whispered, mindful of her sleeping dorm mates.

Lily made her way silently across the room and sat atop the covers on the edge of Marian’s bed. "I thought you were asleep," she said, noticing that her friend’s eyes seemed to be swollen, although she couldn’t be sure in the dim light.

"I couldn’t fall asleep," Marian sobbed, confirming Lily’s suspicions. She had been crying. "Oh Lily, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have got angry like that. Please forgive me."

"Of course I forgive you Ri, don’t you remember the number of times I was the one to beg for forgiveness because of my wretched character?"

In fact it hadn’t happened that many times, but Marian smiled a little.

"Do you want to tell me what’s really wrong, Ri?" Lily asked gently.

Marian tried to laugh but it ended up as a half-sob. "You’ll think I’m stupid. You know what we both think of Divination, just rubbish, supposedly cryptic stuff. Now here I am, afraid because of a stupid feeling I have in my gut that I can’t get rid of." She paused, expecting her friend to come up with a funny repartee to tease her, but nothing came; Lily was listening attentively. Marian drew in a shaky breath and went on. "I know I’m supposed to be brave, being in Gryffindor and all that, but the truth is that I am terrified. It came to me while I was in the library, reading up on the Duelling Club. I was suddenly hit with the certainty that Voldemort was going to be the cause of my death, that a great number of people would lose their lives at his hands. It’s not a vision I had, just a feeling, and it was so strong at first that it made me sick."

Lily stayed silent long after Marian had finished. She was shocked by what she had just heard, but not totally surprised. She knew she had to say something, and weighed up her different options. Her mind made up, she reached out tentatively and took her friend’s hand in hers, squeezing it comfortingly. When she spoke, her voice was very gentle. "As you said, you didn’t have any vision. It is perfectly understandable to be afraid. Voldemort is a monster, and you’ve seen first hand what he can do when he attacked Diagon Alley this summer. But you must not let it destroy you. The wizarding world is well protected by very powerful witches and wizards. We are under the care of the most powerful of them. By the time we leave Hogwarts, the menace will have ceased to exist. We will be free to live our lives to the fullest."

As Lily delivered her little speech she hoped with all her heart that Marian would believe in it. Lily didn’t quite believe in it herself, but she needed to be the strong one. And with any chance it just might become true; you never knew. As long as you didn’t lose hope, a miracle could always happen, especially in the wizarding world.

Marian seemed calmer now. She squeezed Lily’s hand back and smiled. "You’re right, as always. I was just being over-emotional. It’s time to sleep now, we don’t want to look like zombies for our first Hogsmeade trip tomorrow!"

Lily didn’t even bother changing into her pajamas, and crashed into bed directly. She was so very tired. There would always be some time to think everything over the next day. She closed her eyes and fell asleep in a second, thinking of raspberry jam and a charming man.

.

Chapter two: Of friends and Transfiguration homework

Lily yawned as she stepped through the portrait hole the next morning. She loved going to Hogsmeade, but she could have done without Amy’s cheerful wake-up call. Well, it wasn’t exactly the cheerful wake-up call she resented, but rather the ungodly hour at which it was made. Half past six wasn’t what Lily considered a reasonable time to get up on a Saturday, even if a Hogsmeade trip was scheduled. But Amy and Beth, the other Gryffindor 6th year girls, had it in their heads that they should be the first ones to arrive in the village so they could have a look at all the novelties before the throng of students descended upon the village.

Walking through the corridors of Hogwarts could be quite a risky business, even if you were alert. You never knew for sure what surprises the old building held in store for you; it could range from tricky staircases to wandering classrooms - without forgetting, of course, the numerous creatures you never wanted to run into, Peeves being a perfect example. But walking through those same corridors half-asleep was nearly suicide. Lily wasn’t worried though. Amy had her arm in a death grip and was dragging her firmly to the Great Hall for a quick breakfast. She was sufficiently awake for both of them and Lily didn’t have to snap out of her sleepy daze. She could vaguely hear Beth babbling about how great the day was going to be and how wonderful it was to get out of the castle. Marian was silent and probably not quite awake either. They were lucky they didn’t have any important classes to attend.

The fresh autumn air did wonders for Lily and Marian though, and the four girls arrived in Hogsmeade in high spirits. It must have been around eight o’clock and the village presented a happy picture indeed. Most of the shops didn’t open before nine but a lot of people were walking along the main street, going about their usual business..

A gust of wind carried the divine aroma of fresh baked brioches and Lily’s mouth watered - she had barely had the time to eat a piece of toast before Amy ushered them all out of the Great Hall and she was still hungry. She looked longingly at Bel’s Breads & Brioches in front of which a small queue of witches and wizards was already forming on the street. "The best breads and brioches of the Wizarding world" was written in colourful lettering on the shop window, and Lily knew from experience that it was absolutely true.

Belinda Browning was one successful witch. A potion prodigy in her time at Hogwarts, she had chosen to use her gift to create irresistible recipes for the sweet-toothed people rather than to become a Potions Mistress at one of the renowned wizarding schools or devote herself to research. She was very proud of the fact that her recipes looked more like complicated formulae than anything else, and she claimed it was the reason for her success, which was probably true. Even the most hopeless at potions knew that a single drop could make a difference, or that simply by combining the ingredients of a given potion differently you would obtain a completely unexpected result. It made sense that someone good at potions would be good at cooking. Belinda, or Bel as she was more commonly known, was more than good: she had transformed it into an art, and had become very famous in the Wizarding world. She refused to open other shops in other places, though. "I started in Hogsmeade and in Hogsmeade I will stay," she often said. She had a couple of young witches working for her but she was never above standing behind the counter from time to time, especially when the Hogwarts students came flocking into the village. She was very fond of children. Lily recalled with some nostalgia her first visit to Hogsmeade at the beginning of her third year. She had stepped into the shop lured by the delicious smell, and Bel herself had handed Lily her very first ‘Summer Délice’, a wonderfully soft brioche with a centre of chilled raspberry mousse. Just what she needed now…

"Stop staring at BBB, Lily! You don’t want to add an ounce to that great figure of yours, believe me." Amy. Always the vain one.

"You’d better listen to Amy. You’ll want to look your best in the dress robes we’re going to buy today." Beth. Usually always agreeing with Amy on appearance matters.

Lily looked at Marian and rolled her eyes. "I won’t look like anything if I pass out because I didn’t have anything decent to eat since yesterday evening."

Amy didn’t seem put out; the contrary, in fact. "Well then, let’s just go to the Three Broomsticks. I must admit, I’m still hungry too. They serve a figure-friendly breakfast and we’ll be able to pass the time until the shops open," she said with a bright smile.

The four friends set off for the pub, walking arm in arm and occasionally bumping playfully against each other. Lily had a very special bond with Marian, and while she wouldn’t call Amy and Beth her close friends, the four of them got along pretty well. They always spent the first Hogsmeade trip of the year together and they had some kind of all girls evening from time to time. They would dress up like they did two days ago, talk about their problems, wishes, boys…it was mostly boys though. At first Lily had thought this was ridiculous and immature and had refused to participate in those talks, but she had warmed up gradually. She still wasn’t as bad as Beth or Amy, or even Marian, but she enjoyed being silly for a night once in a while.

The Three Broomsticks was almost empty when they stepped in. The pub never closed but not many people came in early on Saturday mornings. The ‘figure-friendly’ breakfast looked suspiciously like any breakfast served at Hogwarts but with the added bonus of free hot Honeymilk served in a self-refilling pitcher, Lily noted.

"So," Marian said between mouthfuls of warm porridge, "why are we supposed to buy dress robes today? We never use them at school."

"Correction. We never had any use for them…" Beth grinned, looking like the cat who got the cream. "Until now."

"What do you mean?" Lily frowned.

Amy leaned across the table and looked at her friends with an all-knowing expression. "There’s going to be a ball at the end of the year, in honour of the winner of the Duelling competition."

Lily’s frown deepened. "How do you know about the competition? Only the prefects were told about it at yesterday’s meeting. Anyway, the ball is going to be costume, not formal."

"They changed it, it’s going to be formal. I have my sources," Amy answered smugly.

Lily wanted to know more about Amy’s ‘sources’, but was prevented from enquiring further by Marian’s outburst.

"Hold on a minute! Where does that competition thing come from? I thought it was just going to be a club we would be free to go to if we wanted to learn about defence and all that. Lily?"

Lily shifted uneasily in her chair.

"Dumbledore kept his announcement rather vague. Everything will be explained at the special assembly tomorrow."

"So?" Marian was not deterred. "Since you obviously know all about it, you can tell us, it won’t hurt anyone. I bet James told his friends as soon as he came out of that prefect meeting."

"James can do what he pleases. It’s no concern of mine."

"Come on, we won’t tell a soul," Marian persisted. She looked at Beth and Amy for confirmation. The two girls nodded eagerly. Despite Amy’s ‘sources’, they didn’t know everything about the Duelling club, they just knew about the ball.

Lily gave in. Marian was right anyway. It wouldn’t hurt anyone to tell. "Fine, I’ll spill the beans," she said. She took a sip of Honeymilk before starting. "From next week on, Duelling is going to be a compulsory subject for everyone. We’ll even have a special uniform for it. They’ve sorted out six levels: first and second years together, and a level for every other year. There will only be one weekly lesson for each year, and that means that for the first time, the four houses will have a common lesson together. Now the Duelling club. It won’t be compulsory and only the fifth years upwards can join. You’ll be able to practice what you learn in class in a friendly environment, and as you know, practice makes you better. The best duellers from each house who are enrolled in the club will be asked to participate in the Duelling competition. They will fight each other several times during the year, exactly like Quidditch, and the winner will get the cup. There, I’ve said everything I know. Any questions?"

"Yes!" three voices chorused together.

"I should have known," Lily sighed. She took another sip from her drink. Really, she would take Honeymilk over Butterbeer anytime…

"I’ll go first, said Marian, ignoring Beth and Amy’s glares. "It’s a bit weird than they’re only announcing it now, a week into school. Why didn’t they say this in our Hogwarts letters this summer?"

"From what I understood, it was decided only recently; a long time after the letters were sent. They didn’t even have a confirmed teacher until yesterday. So I suppose they didn’t want to tell us in case it would never happen. They planned everything right though. Each year has two free half-days and one of them will be filled with the Duelling class. We’re supposed to meet the teacher in the assembly tomorrow."

"Oh, right." Marian seemed only half convinced by the explanation but kept silent.

"My turn now!" said Amy. "Do you know what the uniforms will be like? Anything form-fitting?"

"Amy!" Lily exclaimed exasperatedly. "Is that all you think about?"

Amy shrugged. "Seemed a relevant question to me."

Lily ignored her and turned to Beth. "What was your question Beth?"

"Same as Amy’s," Beth answered sheepishly.

"Great, just great," Lily muttered. "Well, I think I should be entitled to a question too. Why do we have to buy dress robes now since the ball is nearly a full year away?"

"Isn’t it obvious?" asked Amy, her eyes wide opened. "Since the school governors are willing to spice up the year with a ball in June, we might be able to talk them into having another one before that. Halloween would do, or before the Christmas holidays…"

"The key word here is ‘might’, Amy," Marian said sarcastically. "Supposing, and I say ‘supposing’, the Head Boy and Head Girl took the matter to Dumbledore, we have no guarantee the idea would be accepted. So you’d better save your money for when it’s definite."

"You could do with a bit more optimism today, Marian. Have you no faith in my persuading powers?" Amy pouted.

"Of course she has faith in your powers," Beth intervened smoothly. "But we don’t have to buy anything, we can just try things on, can’t we?"

Everyone found the idea quite appealing. They paid for breakfast and left The Three Broomsticks. The shops had opened while they were having their little conversation, but it wasn’t too late, and the streets were still relatively student-free.

**************************************

They stayed in Hogsmeade until the middle of the afternoon, and Lily finally had her ‘Summer Délice’.. They were all famished again after many hours of walking and shopping, and Amy hadn’t objected. Besides it would not be long before the ‘Summer Délices’ disappeared in favour of the ‘Autumn Fantaisies’, and it might have been their last chance to taste the dainty brioches before the next year.

Once they had got back to their dormitory, their purchases safely tucked away, they separated, and Lily found herself alone in the common room, working on a Transfiguration essay. Marian had gone to meet the seventh year Ravenclaw boy who was going to tutor her in Charms. Professor Flitwick had recommended it since she hadn’t done very well the previous year. She was a bit nervous since she had never really met this boy before. Amy and Beth were still in the dormitory, probably doing anything except homework.

The common room was deserted as even the first and second years had decided to spend the day outside. From her seat by the window Lily could see some of them enjoying the sunny afternoon on the shore of the lake. She watched them for a moment before looking back to her nearly blank sheet of parchment.

Her assignment - "Discuss the possible dangers of Animagus transfiguration" - didn’t seem to agree with her. Oh, she found the subject fascinating enough. But Transfiguration had never been her forte. It was a pity, because becoming an Animagus did sound quite appealing. Lily sighed. No use dwelling on useless wishes, she told herself firmly, turning her attention back onto her essay.

She wrote a few sentences down before realising she was wasting her time. She would need more books from the library to produce a decent piece of work, and she would probably end up discarding the few pathetic words she had just written. She still had two weeks to complete the essay anyway; there was no need to rush.

She was just starting to put her things away when the portrait of the Fat Lady swung opened and none other than the Transfiguration wizz James Potter stepped into the common room. She considered asking for his help but quickly dropped the idea. Lily Evans didn’t ask for help with her homework; she was perfectly capable of finishing that essay on her own.

James didn’t seem in the best of moods, but his face lit up when he spotted Lily sitting at her regular table by the west window with a couple of books and a few sheets of parchment around her. She watched him as he swiftly crossed the room and plopped down in the chair opposite hers.

"And what may the marvellous Lily Evans be doing indoors on this lovely Saturday afternoon?" he teased, reaching out across the table for a medium sized and plain looking brown book. Lily frantically tried to grab the book before him but he was too quick.

James raised an eyebrow as he read the title. "I didn’t know you were that desperate, Lily."

Lily didn’t notice that his voice held not one ounce of mockery. Her face was red and she felt she had never been more humiliated in her entire life.

"I thought it would contain some useful information for my essay," she snapped. "I am not ‘desperate’ as you put it. A good wizard must know how to check every possible source available when writing on a specific subject."

"Lily, if you need help, I -" James started to say softly, but was cut off by Lily.

"I do not need help! Didn’t you hear me?" she said, exasperated, then immediately regretting her outburst.

James got up, his whole face seeming to close down.

"Well, I hear you perfectly now. You don’t need to be so snappy when someone is offering to help you," he said putting the book back on the table, keeping his unreadable eyes on hers the whole time. He didn’t seem particularly angry, more resigned. It was hard to tell though.

He turned around and started to walk away but Lily wouldn’t let him leave without apologising to him. She pushed her chair back and run to catch him at the bottom of the stairs leading to the boys’ dormitories. She felt him tense when she put a hand on his arm to stop him, but he didn’t turn around.

"I’m sorry James, I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I’d just realised that everything I’d written was rubbish, and I was very frustrated when you came in. But it’s no excuse for my behaviour."

James looked down at her and smiled briefly, his eyes still guarded.

"It’s okay Lily, there’s no harm done," he said softly.

As she stood there, staring, he gently took her hand off his arm and started up the stairs. Why did she have the feeling he was not entirely sincere? And, was that guilt she had felt when he’d turned away?

Lily was jolted back to reality when she realised she was alone. She went back to her table and finished packing her things away - except for the brown book, which was due back to the library today. She gazed at it for a moment. She hadn’t told James she had been mortified that he had caught her with it. He didn’t need to know that; besides she hadn’t exactly told him a lie, rather a half-truth.

Oh, so what? It wasn’t important anyway. She picked up Transfiguration for the Magically Challenged from the table and went back to her dormitory.

*********************************

She found Beth and Amy sprawled on the floor with a large piece of parchment in front of them. Beth was just signing her name with a flourish when Amy looked up and spotted Lily.

"Lily! You have perfect timing," she beamed.

"Really?" Lily said sceptically, dumping her bag at the foot of her bed. She placed the brown book cover-down carefully on top of it.

"Yes. Here - take Beth’s quill," Amy went on, plucking the light feather from her friend’s fingers and waving it in Lily’s general direction. "You’re going to sign our petition."

"What petition?" Lily asked distractedly while petting her cat, Cléobulle, who was currently dozing on her bed. She had not seen him in two days and was surprised to find him there.

"The petition asking for a ball at Hogwarts, of course! Didn’t I tell you I would make sure we had one before June?"

"Are you sure it’s a good idea?" Lily wasn’t very enthusiastic. She wasn’t very eager to attend that one ball in June in the first place, and she certainly didn’t wish for another one earlier than that.

"Of course it’s a good idea!" Beth spoke up. "Everyone will want to sign it."

Lily reluctantly made her way to the two girls and took the quill from Amy. It was no use arguing with those two anyway, it was better to let them think she was all for the it or she would never hear the end of it. She looked down at the parchment and tried not to giggle when she saw what they had written:

MORE FUN AT HOGWARTS !

We are proposing a ball at Hogwarts to give the students something to look forward to. It is doubtless that everyone’s grades will be much improved if they know they will be rewarded. A ball for Halloween, or just before the winter’s break, seems to be the solution.

Sign below in the appropriate column to show your approval.

The large space beneath the written paragraph was divided in two columns, one marked ‘Halloween ball’ and the other ‘Winter ball’. Amy and Beth had written their names under the Halloween one.

Lily knelt down on the floor and signed her name under ‘Winter ball’. The later the better in her opinion.

She gave the quill back to Beth and walked up to her bed. She picked up The Moonstone—a Muggle book-- from her night table and made herself comfortable. With any chance she would finish the book before she had to go down for dinner. Cléobulle came over to pester her for a fuss and settled close to his mistress, purring contentedly.

Amy and Beth made three other copies of their petition and left soon afterwards, presumably to try and sneak a copy into each common room.

The room was totally silent after their departure, save for Cléobulle’s lawn-maweresque purring.

. The time passed quite quickly, and Lily was just about to find out who exactly had stolen the famous Moonstone when Marian stepped into the room, a silly grin on her face.

"Why so happy?" Lily asked. "I didn’t know getting tutored on a Saturday could do that to you."

Marian giggled in a most un-Marianish fashion. "You’d be surprised," she said, leaning against Lily’s bedpost. "You should try it sometimes. But then I suppose you wouldn’t end up with a tutor like Gregory, he’s one in a million."

Lily blinked.

"Gregory? As in Gregory Wentworth?"

Marian nodded, silly grin still in place.

"Gregory Wentworth is the seventh year boy tutoring you in Charms," Lily said slowly. She couldn’t believe it. Gregory was Howard’s best friend, and she had met him a few times when she and Howard were still dating. He was quite the womanizer, among other things. She would never have guessed Gregory would have good enough grades to be a tutor. And now it seemed as if Marian was smitten with Wonderboy Wentworth…Lily didn’t like that at all.

"Well, yes, that’s what I said." Marian gave her friend a wry look. "And you don’t have to be so gloomy about it! He’s very nice. When we bumped into Beth and Amy coming back from our lesson, he offered to take their petition to the Ravenclaw common room himself, and he even said he would be the first one to sign it. I thought Beth would faint on the spot!"

Marian had seen the petition and didn’t seem the least bit bothered by it? Well, that was worrying.

"Did you sign that petition, Marian?"

"Of course I did."

"But I thought you hated balls and large gatherings in general?"

Marian dismissed several years of aversion for those sorts of events with a careless wave of her hand.

"Well, everybody can change their opinion, can’t they?"

"Sure." Lily answered rather sceptically.

But Marian didn’t notice. She plopped down on Lily’s bed and started tickling Cléobulle like mad. She got a nasty scratch on the back of her right hand for her efforts, but was still in the best of moods. Totally the opposite to yesterday, in fact, Lily thought. Perhaps a boy was just what her friend needed at the moment. It was just that Gregory Wentworth seemed so wrong for her. It was not her place to say anything though, at least not yet.

"Want to go down to dinner?" she asked after a quick glance at her clock sitting on her bedside table. "It’s nearly seven."

"Alright, let’s go. I’m starving."

Marian sauntered gaily to the door and waited for her friend. Lily closed The Moonstone and got up from her bed, giving Cléobulle a light tap on his well-rounded belly.

"I just have to return this book to the library first," she said, picking up Transfiguration for the Magically Challenged on her way to the door.

Marian just nodded and the two friends were soon walking through the corridors, chatting amiably.

Chapter 3: The new teacher and a visit to the Library.

"Your attention, please!"

Dumbledore’s magically enhanced voiced boomed through the Great Hall and all conversations were promptly interrupted.

The Headmaster was standing on the platform where the Head Table usually was and he looked quite imposing in his robes of deep purple with a tall matching hat on his head. His keen blue eyes swept over the students and he smiled.

The whole school was assembled in front of him on this fine Sunday morning. The House tables had been pushed against the walls and hundreds of chairs had been brought, or rather conjured up, instead. The platform on which Dumbledore was standing was reasonably high and those seated in the back only had to crane their necks a little bit to see his face. Lily, who was seated near the front, did not need to crane her neck at all; she could even see all the teachers standing against the wall behind the Headmaster. As she scanned their familiar figures, she noticed one, clad in sober black robes, she did not know at all. The new teacher, she thought.

"I know that the announcement I made the other day greatly disturbed some of you," Dumbledore said, his voice not as loud as before but still easily heard by everyone. "But I can assure you that what is going to happen this year is not as terrible as you think. I will let someone else more expert on the matter than I am explain everything to you. Will you please welcome Professor Raven, who has kindly agreed to join us at Hogwarts to teach you the art of Duelling!"

Dumbledore turned towards the teachers and the stranger came to join him. The Headmaster placed a comforting hand on the younger man’s shoulder while the students, recovered from their shock, were applauding politely, looking at the unexpected new teacher with curiosity. When they had quieted, Dumbledore left the professor standing alone at the edge of the platform and retreated to the wall with the other teachers.

Professor Raven was a tall, dark haired man, and Lily thought he must have been in his twenties, though you could never be sure with wizards. She couldn’t make out the colour of his eyes from where she was, and it bothered her. You could tell a lot about a person by looking into their eyes. Anyone could read emotions in a person’s eyes, but Lily was an expert: she had a gift for it, and if she concentrated hard enough, she could see the soul of that person just by looking into their eyes. She almost never used that gift to its full power though, it left her weak and trembling, and she couldn’t even do a simple spell like Reparo for almost a day. She contented herself with ‘reading’ eyes with more success than other people had. Any strong willed person could, of course, mask their thoughts if they so wished, but it rarely occurred to them that she could read them through their eyes. The gift came from her grandmother, who probably had a few magical cells in her body, albeit not enough to be introduced into the magical world.

Lily was very eager to look into Professor Raven’s eyes. She wanted to know if she could trust him. But for the moment she would have to listen to what he was saying.

It was basically a retelling of what she had told her friends the day before, except that it was a bit more detailed and done in a much more enthusiastic fashion. Lily couldn’t blame her fellow students for listening so rapturously. The man had a very agreeable voice, smooth and regular, and he knew how to use it to charm his audience. Even Marian, who was seated on her left, seemed quite pleased with this new addition to the Hogwarts’ staff. Lily had to acknowledge that he looked quite dashing in his well-cut robes, pacing along the platform in long strides.

A shocked murmur rippled through the throng of students when he announced that all houses would have classes at the same time. But it was quickly replaced with excited chatter when the Competition was mentioned.

The professor let the students carry on for little while before raising his hand and asking for silence. Like Dumbledore, he had an aura of authority and power about him, and he was obeyed at once.

"There is just one more topic to cover, and then you shall be free to enjoy the rest of your Sunday however you wish," he said, smiling in what could have been a paternal way if he hadn’t looked so young. "Duelling can get a bit out of hand when you are experimenting with new charms and spells and we do not wish for anybody to get injured."

The First years squirmed uneasily on their chairs at these words. Some of the older students didn’t look very much at ease either.

"That is why you will be provided with special uniforms for the class. They will be specially charmed to prevent any serious damage being done, and they will be designed to allow you great liberty of movement."

He paused, his gaze sweeping over his future charges. When he spoke again his voice was deeper and he looked very solemn.

"Now, I don’t wish for any of you to have to duel any Dark wizard when you are out of this school’s protective walls. But it could happen. You won’t have the uniforms to protect you, and you will have no guarantee your opponent intends to play fair with you. Always keep that in mind, always. For those of you who will be taking part in the competition, the duels will be fought in your regular school uniform: no protection, so that you don’t forget how it is in real life."

The Great Hall was so silent after that little speech that you could have heard the fluttering of fairy wings. The warning was meant to be taken seriously, and it had been taken very seriously. Satisfied, Professor Raven smiled again and went on.

"Madam Malkin will be coming to Hogwarts tomorrow with her assistants, and each year will go and have their measurements taken at different times throughout the day. You will find a timetable on the notice board in your Common Rooms. Your new uniforms should be ready by the end of the week. Well, I think everything has been said. I wish you all a pleasant Sunday, and I will see you in class soon."

The students started filing out of the Great Hall as the teachers left by a side door talking in low voices amongst themselves. Lily and Marian waited until the Hall was almost empty before leaving their seats. They had no wish to be trampled by students eager to go outside and enjoy the rest of their afternoon.

As the two friends were starting up the main staircase, Marian asked Lily what she thought of their new professor.

"Can’t tell yet," she answered. "What did you think of him?"

"Well, he is certainly going to make the year much more interesting." Marian grinned. "I’m glad they chose someone like him and not like, say, Professor Flitwick."

"I heard that Professor Flitwick was a great dueller in his time though," Lily replied. "And look at it this way: the older the wizard, the more experience he’s likely to have. Take Dumbledore for example: he is one of the greatest wizards alive. I bet he would have taught us himself if he wasn’t so occupied with his Headmaster’s duties."

Marian rolled her eyes. "Lily, Lily, Lily," she sighed. "What am I going to do with you? You’re really hopeless."

Lily frowned, she couldn’t see what was wrong with her argument.

"You missed my point completely," Marian went on. "I don’t doubt that Flitwick and Dumbledore are powerful wizards. I just meant that it will be nice to have a young and attractive professor of the male variety teaching us for once. We haven’t been very lucky in that department until now."

"You sound like a lovesick second-year! And what about Wentworth? Already forgotten him?"

"I do not sound like a lovesick second-year, thank you very much," Marian said sulkily. "And who said I had any designs on Gregory anyway?"

Lily just raised an eyebrow and Marian knew she wasn’t fooling her. "Alright, I might have entertained some pleasing fantasies about Gregory," she conceded. "But it doesn’t mean I can’t look around and use my eyes. Boys do that all the time; they call it ‘completely detached and objective appreciation’, it doesn’t mean anything."

"Right." Lily tried not to smile.

Marian looked at Lily through narrowed eyes, as if sensing some scepticism on her friend’s part. "Right," she insisted to prove her point. "And what are you doing walking to Gryffindor Tower with me? I thought you said at breakfast that you needed to go to the library after the assembly?"

Lily stopped abruptly and realised that, she was indeed heading for the Tower and had missed the staircase that would have taken her to the library. Marian smirked when she saw the surprised expression on Lily’s face.

"See you later!" she said airily, walking away quickly.

Lily watched her friend disappear around a corner and shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips. Marian was the queen of swift escapes, and Lily sometimes wished she possessed that skill; it would have got her out of some past tricky situations she was prone to getting herself into. She often wondered what she would do without Marian; she was like the sister she couldn’t find in Petunia. Her friend’s words about what she had felt while looking up on duelling two days ago came back to her, but she pushed them back firmly to some deeply-buried recess of her mind. She never was a real optimistic in the first place and she didn’t need another thing to blacken the board even more.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Library was nearly deserted when Lily stepped in. The librarian, Madam Effingham, was nowhere in sight, and a mound of dusty old books was littering her desk.

Lily sighed in frustration. She needed advice on the best books available for her Transfiguration essay and she had intended to ask Madam Effingham. The old witch knew the library like the back of her hand and would have gladly helped her.

She spotted a pair of giggling Gryffindor girls seated in a relatively secluded corner. She recognised them at once and started to walk up to them. As she approached their table she could see they were looking through a big black book and she could catch their not-too-discreet conversation.

"Don’t you think we should be looking through the 1901-1950 volume?"

"Of course not Amalia! He can’t be that old and - oh! Isn’t that him? It certainly looks like him!"

Amalia cocked her head to the side and looked at the picture her friend was pointing out. "Honestly, can’t you read Julia? It says ‘Robert MacDonald’ and not ‘Robert Raven’. Besides, I don’t think Robert would suit him as a first name."

Lily had reached them by now, but the girls didn’t notice her and continued poring through their book.

"Well, perhaps he didn’t attend Hogwarts... We’re at the year 1972 now, it’s too recent." Julia sighed as she turned another page.

Well, I suppose you’re right, he might not have attended Hogwarts," Amalia acknowledged. "We’ll look at the 1901-1950 volume just in case, and if we still can’t find him, I’ll owl my cousin Florence who’s at Beauxbatons. She’ll do some research and tell us if he went to school there."

"Alright." Julia closed Hogwarts’ Leavers: 1951-____ "Let’s try to find a book on Love Potions too, we’ve wanted to find one for a while now."

The two friends got a nasty surprise when they stood up and found themselves facing a stern-looking Lily Evans.

Lily shook her head and tutted. "Julia and Amalia, how many times do I have to tell you that the Library is here to do serious research and not to host your little conversations?"

Amalia’s glance shifted to Lily’s shiny prefect badge, pinned in plain view on the Sixth year’s robes. She swallowed nervously, feeling very small all of a sudden. She always felt small when confronted with someone older than she was, especially if that someone happened to be wearing that little red badge.

Lily took pity on the two third-years; she was quite fond of them. "Just go and put that book back where you found it and go and enjoy the rest of the day outside if you don’t have any homework to finish," she said gently but firmly.

Julia and Amalia looked greatly relieved. They turned around and were about to hurry towards the ‘Hogwarts: past, present and future’ section when Lily’s voice stopped them.

"Girls?"

They looked back at Lily with trepidation.

"There is no need to do a detour through the Potions section once you’ve put that book back. Love Potions are illegal and you won’t find anything on them here."

The two girls looked at each other briefly and shifted on their feet uneasily, unsure about how to respond.

"Don’t worry," Lily smiled. "I was thirteen not so long ago and I searched the Potions section through and through with my friend for the same information. I just thought I’d save you the trouble." She winked at them.

Julia’s eyes brightened and she looked as if she was about to ask something, but Lily had no intention of continuing the subject. She didn’t want to encourage them too much, and it would absolutely not do if she told them that she, a prefect, had sneaked into the Restricted Section with Marian, thanks to James’s ‘borrowed’ Invisibility Cloak, and now knew quite a bit on those famous Love Potions.

"Do you know where Madam Effingham is by any chance?" she asked, remembering why she had come up to the girls in the first place.

"She left some time ago and asked Julian Trevenik to watch the Library while she was gone," Julia answered, disappointed by the change of subject.

Lily glanced briefly at the seventh-year Slytherin prefect working alone at the other end of the room. "Alright then, thank you girls."

"You’re welcome, Lily!" they chorused, grinning like maniacs, happy to get away with no punishment and hardly any sermon.

Lily watched them go and decided she would look through the entire Transfiguration section herself since she didn’t know when Madam Effingham would be back.

Twenty minutes later, she came out of the maze-like arrangement of the Library’s shelves with five books she had trouble keeping in her arms. Still no sign of Madam Effingham, she noticed with frustration. She knew she would have to wait until the librarian came back to check out her books. She dropped her burden on a nearby table and plopped

down into a chair. She selected ‘The Worst That Could Happen To You Or The People In Your Vicinity When Attempting Transfiguration’ from her small pile of books and opened it to the first page.

She had only read a couple of paragraphs when a tall black haired boy slid into the seat next to her.

"Fancy meeting my darling Poppy in the Library," he said, his brown eyes twinkling.

"If it isn’t Sirius Black! I think it’s the first time I’ve seen you here. To what do we owe this great honour?" Lily teased.

"It’s the first time you’ve seen me. But you don’t monitor the place day and night my dear, far from it. I’ve been here plenty of times," Sirius countered, flashing his best smile.

"I don’t doubt it," Lily responded with a smile of her own. She liked those little talks with Sirius: she couldn’t remember discussing anything serious with him in all the time she’d known him. She knew it was only an act he could drop whenever he wished, but it hadn’t happened with her, and she was glad. "What do you have there?" she asked, noticing the rather worn book he had placed on the table.

"Research material."

Lily leaned forward and looked at the book cover. Everything You Want To Know About Levitation And Other Useful Spells, it read.

"I see," she said, a disapproving scowl on her face. "We covered Levitation charms in first year, Sirius."

Sirius’ smile widened, if that was possible. "Ah, but I need it for, shall we say, the improvement of my mind."

"I hope we won’t see anything flying around in Gryffindor Tower."

"Don’t worry, I’ll practice far away from the Tower." He grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Probably somewhere near the dungeons."

Lily leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms on her chest. "All right, out with it, Sirius. Snape or- his excuse for a sidekick- Avery this time?"

"Why trouble ourselves with difficult choices? We’ll include all the sixth-year Slytherin boys, no favouritism."

"How generous of you," Lily said sarcastically. "Don’t forget we need to win the House Cup this year. We’ve lost it to Slytherin the past two years. You don’t want to lose any points."

"We’ll make it discreet and inventive. James doesn’t want to lose his prefect badge, it gives him some advantages he is rather fond of."

Lily snickered. "You don’t have to be genius to guess what those ‘advantages’ are. All the male prefects are fond of them." Thoughts of girls sneaked into the Prefect bathroom or taken to the Astronomy Tower after hours swam into her mind. These thoughts annoyed her greatly.

Sirius shook his head, as if he could read her mind and disagree with her. "You’d be surprised if you really knew why he likes being a prefect so much."

He sounded serious when he said that, and Lily’s curiosity was piqued. "Feel free to enlighten me. I’m all ears," she said.

Sirius just shrugged and reverted back to his normal self. "Sorry, I’m sworn to secrecy." He smiled mischievously.

The little git was enjoying teasing her. She should have known.

"Well, it’s not as if I cared anyway," she said indifferently, turning back to her book.

In truth, she cared a great deal about everything that concerned the four Gryffindor boys. There was a great deal of mystery around them, and she was dying to know all their secrets. She was too considerate to try and search their minds, and besides, they knew all her tricks already. Of the four, James was the most puzzling. At times he was so closed up she doubted that even her grandma could have figured him out. But he could also display an incredible array of naked emotions through those blue eyes of his. Those eyes were all she could see at the moment; it was as if they were printed on the page she was reading. She closed her own emerald eyes tightly, and when she opened them again, words written in black ink were staring back at her. She was not sure that the eye obsession she had was a very healthy one. Raven’s, now James’...

Lily caught a movement from the corner of her eye and turned her head to see Sirius rummaging through the books she had collected.

"Transfiguration, eh? You wouldn’t be working on that last and particularly nasty essay McGonagall gave us by any chance?"

"And what if I am?" Lily asked a bit suspiciously.

"Well, you won’t find much in those," he said, indicating the small stack of books. "I borrowed a great one with useful information last week. I’m finished with my essay and I don’t need it anymore. I can give it to you it you want."

"That’s really nice of you, Sirius," Lily said, a little surprised. "Thank you."

"That’s what friends are for."

The Library’s doors opened before Lily could reply, and Madam Effingham came in, a big box in her arms, which she dumped on her already disordered desk. Lily gathered her books and got up, but Sirius stayed seated.

"Aren’t you coming?" she asked him.

"Nah. It would look too suspicious if I took that book out. It helped generations of troublemakers, you know. Heard of it from my dad. I’d be better off studying it in secret and taking notes before putting it back discreetly on its shelf."

"I’ll see you later then," Lily said before walking away towards Madam Effingham. As she stopped in front of the desk, she could see the librarian was slightly flushed as she tried to organise the old books into neat piles. She looked up when Lily cleared her throat.

"Oh, it’s you, Lily dear," she said. "I’m sorry I didn’t see you, I was just sorting out these books. Professor Raven wanted the school to have a decent Duelling section and he generously donated some books from his own library. I just brought in the last ones." She patted the box she had come in with, a dreamy look on her face.

Poor Professor Raven was going to have a hard time avoiding his quickly growing fan club, Lily thought before handing her books to Mrs Effingham.

She was soon free to go and headed for the door. She turned back to look at Sirius before leaving. He was scribbling furiously on a sheet of parchment that must have passed most of the week in the pocket of his robes, judging from its crumpled appearance. He was actually writing with a Muggle pen, much easier to carry around than a quill and inkbottle.

As if sensing her gaze, he glanced up from his notes and gave her a conspiratorial wink.

She winked back and left the library, closing the door as noiselessly as she could. She really shouldn’t encourage the boys in their harassing of the Slytherins, she reprimanded herself as she walked back to Gryffindor Tower.

As long as it’s nothing dangerous, it’s fine, another voice piped up in her head.

Lily didn’t listen to that voice often but she made an exception this time. Severus Snape had still not paid for the Mudblood insult he had thrown at her on the first day back. Well, a punch in the nose from James wasn’t exactly nothing, but it wasn’t supposed to happen so it didn’t count. She didn’t like it when things got physical. A good prank and a small humiliation were preferable in her opinion.

But then again, the Muggle-born verbal harassment was threatening to get out of hand in the near future. Pranks would do no good against that. Lily could very well see the situation degenerating if restraining measures were not taken. But the issue had been oddly absent from every prefect meeting she had attended since she had received her badge a year ago. While everyone else was in denial, Lily couldn’t ignore it any more, but she would need strong back-up if she wanted to bring it up. She might be able to talk James into it, and she also would have to approach all the other Gryffindor prefects. Howard could be useful too; they were still on good terms, and he was Head Boy after all: his support would be invaluable.

It seemed she had so much to do all of a sudden that she unconsciously picked up her pace, blowing an annoying strand of hair from her face. She was so lost in her thoughts that it took her more than a few seconds to realise she had bumped into something and was now sitting rather ungraciously on the cold stone floor, her books in a messy heap at her feet.

She stared dumbly at the hand that had suddenly appeared in front of her. It was a very nice hand, she thought, studying the long fingers, the clean and short nails. Definitely masculine. It exuded strength and power, and she could see the tensing and relaxing of the tendons as the fingers flexed slightly.

If you could judge people by their hands, you would be very careful around the person who was extending that hand. You wouldn’t want to be on their wrong side.

Lily gulped and let her gaze travel up the equally strong wrist, up the strange wizarding watch with all its funny symbols, up the black-clad arm, up to the shoulders, the neck and finally the face: the lips finely chiselled, the straight nose, the eyes...

They were the strangest pair of eyes Lily had ever seen. For one, she could read absolutely nothing in them, which was a rare enough occurrence for her to be instantly interested. For another, she had never seen eyes that colour before. The irises were of the palest green sprinkled with bits of a darker green, but the most extraordinary thing was that they were rimmed with purple. The way purple merged with green was fascinating and hypnotising. Lily realised immediately she had found someone much stronger than her in the psychic arts and quickly averted her eyes to prevent him from discovering too much in them.

The whole thing couldn’t have lasted for more than a few seconds. Lily took the hand offered to her and got to her feet. The man was about the same height as James and had the same black hair, but it was cut slightly shorter.

"I’m very sorry, Professor Raven," she blurted out. "I wasn’t watching where I was going." And you will probably think I’m an absolute idiot who can’t even cast a Wingardium Leviosa, she added mentally.

The professor smiled, though it seemed a bit forced. Lily cringed inwardly; she had really done it this time. Here was one of those tricky - not to mention embarrassing - situations she wished she could run from as easily as Marian. "You don’t have to apologise, I wasn’t watching where I was going either," he said in a voice that, surprisingly, didn’t sound at all like the one he had used in the Great Hall. It was strained, like his smile.

Clearly, he wanted to get away from her annoying presence as soon as possible. Well, now was the time to experiment with Marian’s method. She bent and quickly picked up her books from the floor, aware of the professor’s eye on her the whole time. Her wayward strand of hair had managed to fall back in front of her right eye in the process but she didn’t care. She gave her brightest smile, said something about looking forward to her Duelling class, and left as quick as she could without actually running.

.

Chapter 4: To hold and protect.

On Monday morning Lily was still angry with herself for acting like a simpleton in front of Professor Raven. And, no matter how hard Marian tried to make conversation at breakfast, it was mostly one-sided.

The only positive point was that, according to the timetables pinned on the notice board, she didn’t have Duelling until Thursday, Lily thought while stirring her cold porridge listlessly in her bowl. If she were lucky, Raven would have forgotten all about the incident by then. Lily fervently hoped so in any case. She knew that she would need a perfect record in Duelling to enter the Auror Training Program. A special recommendation from her professor would come in handy too.

Professor Raven hadn’t come down to breakfast yet, and Lily took this as a good thing, even if it wasn’t surprising since it was still quite early and the Great Hall was practically empty. Not wanting to push her luck, and not very hungry anyway, she asked Marian if she wanted to head to Transfiguration now. Her friend nodded her assent and snatched one last piece of toast from the table as they stood up.

"I never thought I would see the day you wanted to arrive early to Transfiguration," she said, her mouth full. "McGonagall first thing on a Monday morning isn’t exactly my idea of fun."

Lily didn’t want to reveal the real reason for their early departure from the Great Hall. She hadn’t told Marian of her run-in with Raven yet, and she didn’t plan to do so in the immediate future.

"There’s a first time for everything," she simply said.

They arrived in front of the classroom half an hour early and the door was closed and Marian slid down to the floor and leaned against the wall. She looked through her bag and took out some sheets of parchment and the self-refilling quill Lily had given her for her thirteenth birthday.

Lily looked at the words, numbers and fractions covering the pages.

"Is this your Potions project?" she asked, surprised.

Their Potions professor, Septimus Moor, had given them the project in their first lesson but they had all year to complete it. They were to create their own potion, inventing their own formula, and they also had to explain why they chose to work on that particular potion. The goal was not necessarily to end up with a perfect result but to do some extensive research and manage to find all the ingredients needed and their approximate quantity. It was a long and arduous work but Marian had clearly spent a lot of time on it already.

"Yes, I had a brainstorm yesterday and I started writing while it was still fresh in my mind."

"It seems as if you did more than start," Lily said, sitting down next to her friend, her eyes scanning the papers. Marian had apparently found quite a few of the ingredients she would need already, and she had made several different calculations for the proportions in which they were to be used. "What kind of potion are you trying to make?" she asked curiously. She was familiar with all the ingredients listed on the page but she couldn’t see what their combination would produce.

Marian flushed a bit. "I... it’s… I don’t want to tell you just now. I’m not sure it can be done at all. It probably can’t, actually, but I still want to try it."

It was not like Marian to be shy like that, she usually never kept anything from her friends. But Lily knew better than anyone how to respect a person’s privacy.

"That’s alright," she said, "you can tell me when you want to, or when you need someone to test it."

"You don’t mind me not telling you?" Marian asked, surprised.

Lily shook her head, smiling, and Marian laughed.

"You’d better be careful, you know, I might be tempted to take you up on your offer. It’s not everyday you see someone willing to risk being poisoned by an incompetent lunatic!"

"I don’t think I’d be taking any risks," Lily answered. "You’re top of the class in Potions. Severus Snape would worship the ground you walk on if you weren’t a Gryffindor! And you’ll probably end up Potions mistress when old Moor retires."

Marian went red as a tomato at her friend’s sincere compliments. She mumbled something about Snape hating her and being better than her in Potions before lowering her eyes to her notes.

Lily leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes. They passed time in friendly silence until the first students arrived. She quickly stood up and helped Marian to her feet when she saw they were Slytherins. It wasn’t a good idea to be at any disadvantage when people belonging to Gryffindor’s rival house were around.

Marian swiftly tucked her notes and quill safely back in her bag as McGonagall arrived. The Transfiguration teacher always arrived five minutes before the beginning of the lesson. She would sit at her desk, going through her papers while the students filled the classroom. When the lesson was due to begin, she would close the door with a wave of her wand and the unlucky latecomers had to stay outside, waiting for the class to finish so they could explain themselves. They usually ended up with a detention. McGonagall was a very strict teacher, but she was also always fair, and thus respected.

"Lily!"

Lily, who had been about to enter the classroom with Marian, turned her head to see Sirius Black walking quickly towards her. James, Remus and Peter were following close behind. She moved out of the doorway and looked expectantly at Sirius.

"I wanted to give it to you at breakfast, but you weren’t in the Great Hall when we came down," he said, rummaging through his bag.

Lily tried not to notice the various suspicious-looking things Sirius pulled out and gave to Remus to hold as he searched for ‘it’ in his magically-altered bottomless school bag. He would spend half the year in detention if she were to report them.

"Ah! Here it is!" He pulled a thick book out and handed it to her. "You should be able to finish your essay easily now."

The title, Animagi: A History, was plainly visible on the brown cover and Lily was painfully aware of the fact that James could see it too. After her adamant refusal of any kind of help the other day, she hadn’t wanted him to know about it. She felt like she had betrayed James somehow and was thoroughly ashamed of herself. She chanced a glance at him but quickly turned back to Sirius when she saw the thunderous look in his eyes.

"Thank you, Sirius," she said, grabbing the book and shoving hastily into her own bag.

"No problem. It’s due back to the Library next week, Restricted section."

Lily nodded and nearly ran into the classroom, Marian in tow. They sat down in their usual seats, toward the back of the room. It was a much better place to be than the front when your semi-Transfigured shoe was trying to run away on its four furry legs.

"What was that all about?" Marian asked as the classroom door closed abruptly in the face of Rebecca Avery. Lily wasn’t sorry for the girl: she was in Slytherin and known for her hatred of Gryffindor House - a Mudblood shelter, in her opinion.

"Later," Lily mouthed as McGonagall started reading the register.

Her eyes drifted to James after her name was called. He was in his usual place too, between Sirius and Remus, second row from the front, a bit to her right. She could only see his profile and couldn’t gauge his real mood, but, his strained ‘Here’ as McGonagall called his name, told her everything she wanted to know. She resolved to try to avoid him for at least the rest of the day, possibly for the rest of the week.

*******************************

Lily bolted to the door as soon as the lesson was finished and Marian had to run to catch her.

"Is there something between you and James?" she asked.

Lily started and looked nervously around her to see if anyone had heard. The coast was clear. "Lower you voice, will you," she whispered through her clenched teeth. "Of course there isn’t anything between James and me. Where did you get that ludicrous idea?"

"Well, he looked kind of angry when Sirius gave you that book," Marian whispered back. "I know you’ve noticed: you’re trying to avoid him. It doesn’t take a genius to work out something’s wrong."

"It’s nothing serious, I’ve just been stupid, nothing new or remotely interesting here." Lily picked up her pace to notify the end of the conversation.

Marian kept up with her and paid no attention to Lily’s unwillingness to discuss the subject. "We have Divination now, and it’s a long walk to the North tower. There’s plenty of time for you to tell me that uninteresting story of yours."

One look at her friend’s decided expression spurred Lily into telling her everything. She really needed her advice anyway.

"So," she said when she had finished her story, "do you think I should speak to James, to tell him that I was struck dumb by Sirius’ offer and didn’t even think about refusing? Or is hiding the best solution?"

The two friends stopped under the trapdoor leading to the Divination classroom.

"Well, if you speak to James to tell him that…" Marian said slowly, while starting up the ladder.

"Yeah…even to me it sounds pathetic," Lily sighed, following her friend. "Hiding seems the best option then."

"Actually I was going to suggest letting him cool off for a few hours and then speaking to him. You should be able to come up with something better than what you suggested. It’ll be hard though; you were really stupid."

Lily hoisted herself on the floor and followed Marian to two huge and squashy armchairs on the side of the room.

"Hiding shouldn’t be necessary," Marian continued as she sat down. "This little incident is probably nothing compared to the, err… Astronomy Tower debacle."

Lily frowned at the mention of the ‘Astronomy Tower debacle’, as Marian liked to call it. She didn’t like being reminded of the cause of her biggest fight with James. She plopped down in the bright green chair next to her friend. "But he still looked pretty angry to me," she said a bit hesitantly. "I’ve messed things up royally."

"Well, it’s not the first time and it certainly won’t be the last," Marian said cheerily. "You’re still alive, so there’s nothing to worry about."

"Thanks Marian, you’re a true friend," Lily said sarcastically. "I would have liked -" She stopped as the trapdoor opened and the other students started to trickle in. When she spoke again, her voice was hushed so as not to be overheard. "I would have liked more moral support," she hissed.

"But I’ve been giving you moral support!" Marian protested. "You got out of sticky situations with James before and you’ll do it again this time." She smiled comfortingly - Lily took the matter much too seriously in her opinion. "Speaking of the devil…" she added, jerking her chin toward the trapdoor.

Lily twisted in her chair and saw James graciously extracting himself from the hole. Quidditch really had its advantages, she thought not for the first time. She would have liked to get out of the trapdoor in that graceful way. He chose a seat at the other end of the room, but directly facing hers. Remus, who also took Divination, followed and sat down next to him. Lily bit her lower lip nervously as he began to stare at her, as if trying to will some information into her mind. She had no doubt that, whatever it was, it wasn’t anything pleasant. She glanced uneasily at Marian for support but her friend was looking in another direction. She followed her gaze and her eyes came to rest on the unfamiliar figure of a thin witch dressed in extravagant clothes with what seemed to be twice her body weight in bracelets and chains. She looked quite young and wore a pair of glasses which made her eyes look huge. She took a few steps forward and her jewellery clinked a bit. All in all, she looked like an overgrown cricket.

"I am sorry to say my father won’t be able to teach you the secrets of the Inner Eye for a few weeks," the strange woman said in a misty voice. "He has been called away to a place where his gift will be most needed, and I will take over his classes in his absence."

There were whisperings amongst the students. The unexpected departure of the old crack-pot Trelawney wasn’t totally unwelcome, but his daughter seemed even worse. The way she said ‘the Inner Eye’ as if it held all the answers of the universe…

"My name is Sybill Trelawney," their temporary professor went on, starting to walk around the room. "Today we will work with something simple so I can evaluate you." She waved her hand, her bracelets ringing, and crystal balls appeared on the little tables between the chairs.

"Now, before you start clearing your Inner Eyes of all parasitic emotions, I need to call all your names so I can get acquainted with you."

Lily sighed. It was going to be a long lesson. James had stopped staring at her but she knew he was biding his time. She’d have to be quick again at the end of the lesson; she didn’t want to confront him just yet. When the Cricket had finished with the register, Lily turned to her crystal ball and stared into it. She soon stopped when all she could see was James’ face as it had been when he had seen the book Sirius was giving her.

"Your turn," she muttered to Marian as she sat back into her chair. She looked sulkily around her and noticed that Trelawney seemed to take a great interest in James and Remus’ ball. The boys looked quite uncomfortable, and Remus discretely made ‘crazy’ signs to James over her head. James rolled his eyes and scooted further away in his chair as Trelawney leaned even closer to him, presumably to peer deeper into the ball.

"Looks like Trelawney Jr. finds James’ Inner Eye to her taste," Marian snickered.

Lily grinned. The look on James and Remus’s faces was priceless.

The sound of ringing bracelets was heard again as Sybill Trelawney waved her hand absently. "You can go now," she said in her misty voice. "I have seen something of the utmost importance in Mr Potter’s crystal ball and I need to concentrate on it."

The students didn’t need to be told twice, and they hastily left the classroom. A few sympathetic glances were cast in the direction of James and Remus, who didn’t look very happy at this turn of events.

"Do you want to go to the Great Hall and have lunch now?" Marian asked when they got to the bottom of the ladder.

"No, I’m not hungry. I think I’ll go back to the dormitory and catch up on some work."

Marian looked at Lily suspiciously. "Are you sure you’re alright? You didn’t eat anything at breakfast and now you want to skip lunch…"

"I’m perfectly alright," Lily answered with a smile. "Don’t worry about me."

"If you’re sure…" Marian didn’t look very convinced.

"Of course I’m sure, silly! Go and get your lunch now, I’ll be fine."

"I’ll bring you something back when I’m finished," Marian said over her shoulder as she walked away.

The Divination students had wasted no time in leaving the corridor and Lily was left alone. As she walked back to Gryffindor Tower, she felt her shoulders sag. She knew she was pushing her friend away and she felt like the most horrible and egotistical person on the planet. Marian wasn’t fine and she needed support; she hadn’t got over what had happened this summer, and it was slowly eating her away inside. But Lily was such a wreck herself that she couldn’t see how she would be able to help her friend. Her previously small and ordered little world had been disintegrating over the last few years, and she had only been made aware of it a few months ago. Now it was too late to reconstruct. She would have to let go and build something new. But God, it was hard.

*********************************

‘The extreme difficulty and danger of performing the transformation are the reasons for the very limited number of Animagi roaming the Wizarding world. But it has not stopped some reckless wizards from trying it, with disastrous results.’

"Definitely not for me," Lily muttered as she finished the introduction written by the author of Animagi: A History. She turned the page to the first chapter: ‘The Misadventures of Marcus Goodman, or What a Sensible Wizard Should Never Do’. As she started to read, Lily was glad she had decided to skip lunch. She would surely have thrown up at the detailed descriptions of said ‘misadventures’.

A sudden bright flash of green light shone from under the dormitory door and Lily started badly as it flew opened and crashed loudly into the stone wall. She only knew of one person who would intrude upon her privacy like that. And it was the very person she had wanted to avoid by locking herself into her dorm while everyone was down in the Great Hall for lunch. And, judging from the power contained in that blast, he was still extremely angry.

She swallowed nervously as James strode into the room, stopping a few feet from the bed, looking down at her. From her position, sprawled on her stomach on top of the bed, he looked quite menacing.

Lily shook herself mentally. She wasn’t afraid of James Potter. She slid off the bed slowly and got to her feet, deciding that it was as good time as any to apologise, and she tried to direct the conversation onto friendly ground.

"Don’t you knock?" she asked lightly. "It’s very impolite to blast your way into a room like that, you know."

James’ eyes flashed dangerously. "Impolite?" he repeated in a voice so low and unlike him that Lily had every trouble to keep her smile from wavering. "And what do you call it when someone rejects an offer of help from a supposedly trusted friend, only to run and ask someone else behind said trusted friend’s back?"

Lily instinctively reached for a bedpost and gripped it tight. She had never been afraid of James before, but then she had never seen him like this; it was a James she didn’t know. He was so still he looked like a statue: cold, emotionless, foreign. All his feelings seemed to be concentrated in his eyes, which were fixed on her. His left arm was still raised, wand at the ready. The small portion of Lily’s brain that was still functioning told her that it couldn’t be all about that Transfiguration book - she had done worse things to him and he had never got in state like this - but she was too confused and shaken to pay attention to it.

She pulled her hand away from the bedpost with difficulty; the two seemed glued together. She started walking hesitantly toward James. Her robes brushed lightly against the Gryffindor-red coverlet as she skirted round her bed, and the soft rustling sound was curiously soothing. Any doubt she might have had about what she was going to do vanished. She was conscious of James’ eyes on her, but she walked deliberately and purposefully.

James didn’t say a word and didn’t move the smallest muscle as he watched her approach, not even when she stopped only a few inches from him.

Now almost touching him, she could feel powerful vibes radiating from his still body, and it was strangely electrifying, almost erotic. She took a deep breath - she knew she needed to do this, or their friendship would be broken beyond repair. It had been stretched and twisted during the past few months, and the breaking point had come. She wouldn’t let it happen. She was going to do a very selfish act and she was aware of it. But she needed him badly; she had to have someone to lean on and to help her.

Looking into his eyes, she took his right hand in her smaller one and delicately brought it just above her left breast, against her heart. She knew he could fell it beating erratically. Something flickered in his eyes and he slowly lowered his left arm to his side.

"Why does it have to be like this, James? We were never really close, but we used to have a wonderful and easy friendship, and you don’t know how much it meant to me. What happened to us?"

Lily could see conflicting emotions she couldn’t identify pass through his blue eyes. She was so distraught she couldn’t even read a single one, not that it would have been very easy in the first place.

But he still didn’t move or speak.

"I want it back James," she pleaded. "Tell me what I have to do."

Even without her gift, Lily should have been able to see the total look of despair and helplessness that he couldn’t hide after hearing her pleas. As it was, she didn’t see anything. She started to tremble uncontrollably as she took his hand away from her chest and let it fall back to his side. She felt so alone all of the sudden, so desperately alone. Tears came to her eyes as great waves of formerly repressed emotions and fears came crashing down on her.

For the first time in her sixteen years of life, Lily Evans crumbled.

She threw herself against James and embraced him tightly, never wanting to let go of his comforting warmth. She was crying freely now and she felt him tense, but he didn’t pull away.

"Please James, I want it back," she sobbed into his shoulder. "I need it back. I’m so afraid, you don’t know how afraid I am."

Through her loud sobs she vaguely heard James closing the door with his wand. She felt him slide a hand under her knees and lift her in his arms. She felt him put her gently on her bed. She felt him lying down next to her, holding her. She felt him caress her hair… She was surprised at how many things she felt in her seemingly numb body…

"Tell me what you’re afraid of, Lily."

James’ voice was so soft, so gentle, so comforting. Lily found herself spilling out everything. How she was tired of being strong; how she was afraid for her family, her friends, herself; how she was terrified of the rise of Voldemort and the Muggle-born persecution; how she sometimes felt so alone it hurt… She told him everything.

When she had finished, James said nothing. He just held her tighter and let her cry herself to sleep.

CHAPTER 5: Getting closer to fine

Lily was awoken by something wet and rough. It took her a minute to realise it was Cléobulle licking her face. She blinked several times before sitting up on her bed, and looking around, she saw that she was alone. The declining sun was pouring its last beams through the high window and the room was bathed in a golden hue. A glance at her bedside table told her that it was six o’clock and that, true to her word, Marian had brought a plate full of goodies. She reached for it, and frowned when she saw that a couple of raspberry jam sandwiches were already nibbled at. Lily threw an accusing glance at Cléobulle who was currently sharpening his claws on the bed coverlet, looking hungrily at the plate resting on Lily’s lap.

"You little devil!" Lily exclaimed. "As if you weren’t fat enough as it is!"

Cléobulle just purred and decided that indeed he wasn’t fat enough, and that he needed to get himself another of those little sandwiches.

Lily was about to put the plate out of Cléobulle’s reach when she noticed there was something glittering on the bed where her cat had previously been laying. Discarding the plate to the great delight of Cléobulle, she reached for the shiny object. It was a small gold pendant on a thin golden chain.

As she looked at the pendant more closely, Lily noticed that it was cut in the shape of a lion with a raised front paw. Its tiny eyes were the same emerald green as hers and seemed to be alive.

It could only belong to James.

James...

Lily sighed. She couldn’t believe she had lost her composure like that in front of him. What had happened when he first entered the room was now a bit hazy, but she could remember throwing herself at him quite vividly. What must he think of her now?

Should she tell him that he had seemed like the only person she could trust? Should she tell him that she, in fact, was nothing without him and his friendship? She had only realised it when she was faced with the possibility of losing him. In a flash she had remembered all that they had done together, especially during their fifth year. He had always been there for her, to tease her, help her or comfort her, depending on the situation.

She had been badly shaken by their rift last year, but she realised now how important he was to her. And she had to tell him.

Her mind made up, she pocketed the pendant and went to the door, leaving Cléobulle feasting on raspberry jam sandwiches on the bed.

*************************

The Gryffindor common room was quite full when Lily arrived. A lot of students were waiting for dinner there rather than going to the library to study or staying in their dorms. Marian was nowhere in sight and Lily heaved a sigh of relief. She wanted to set things right with James before confiding in her friend. She spotted Peter playing exploding snap with a third year and approached him to ask if he knew where his friends were.

Peter cautiously placed a card on the top of the huge and curious looking mound in front of him before looking up at Lily. His little pale blue eyes were twinkling as he answered her.

"Well… Sirius and Remus went to the library to do some research for… err… a special project, but James said he was going to go flying. He wasn’t in a very good mood, our James. I wonder what’s up with him?" he asked innocently, but the hint of a knowing grin was playing on his lips.

"Thanks Peter," Lily said, looking suspiciously at his expression.

She lost no time going out through the portrait hole, rehearsing a little speech as she walked through the corridors. By the time she arrived at the entrance doors she had given up and was hoping improvisation would serve her best. She jerked open the massive oak doors easily - everything at Hogwarts was enchanted, it seemed - and stepped over the threshold.

Lily squinted her eyes in the light of the setting sun and looked towards the Quidditch pitch. There, in the distance, a tiny figure was zooming at great speed around the pitch.

It took her a few minutes to get to the stands and to go through the teams’ entrance doors. When she finally got to the pitch, the light was quickly fading but she could see James hovering in the air, not moving. He had seen her too.

She fingered her robes nervously as she watched him head slowly towards the ground. He stopped neatly in front of her and jumped off his broom. The captain badge pinned on his Quidditch robes was glowing gently in the setting sun and he seemed to be breathing rather heavily, as if he had just finished a gruelling practice. His face was a careful blank.

"Do you want to sit down?" Lily asked with concern. "You look rather tired."

James waved a dismissive hand. ‘I’m fine," he said rather shortly. "Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" he asked more gently when he saw Lily flinch slightly at his abrupt tone.

"I - I wanted to thank you for what you did this afternoon," Lily stuttered.

"It’s okay, you don’t have to thank me. You weren’t well, it’s a prefect’s duty to look after fellow students in need."

He sounded so detached, so indifferent. Was it the same boy who had held her tenderly in his arms a few hours ago? Lily nodded a bit uncertainly and swallowed. This wasn’t going as she wanted at all, and she made a mental note not rely on improvisation in the future.

"If there wasn’t anything else we should go back to the castle," James said before starting to walk away.

Lily followed, having trouble keeping up with him. He wasn’t slowing his pace to make it easier for her this time. She started to pant, half running, half walking, whereas he seemed to be breathing more calmly with every step.

She would get nowhere in her apology if he continued to be that stubborn. It was time for desperate measures. She stopped dead in her tracks and called loudly: "James Potter!"

James stopped, he was already a few steps away from her and had reached the front steps of the castle. He turned to face her, raising an eyebrow.

Lily walked up to him, and gripping his forearms, she forced him to sit down with her on the bottom step. There, he wouldn’t get away so easily now. "We’re going to clear up everything once and for all," she said with determination.

"Clear up everything?"

"Yes. And I’ll start with an apology."

"An apology for what?"

"For that Transfiguration business."

James frowned slightly but said nothing, and Lily plunged forwards.

"James, if you had been in the library on Sunday afternoon I would have accepted your help," she blurted out.

James waited a bit for her to continue but she seemed to have finished.

"And…" he prodded tentatively.

"And what?"

"What do you mean ‘and what’? Was that all of the apology you had to give?"

"Well, what’s wrong with it? I was being honest."

"Honest?" James repeated in disbelief.

He sighed at Lily’s hurt expression. "Look Lily, I can usually follow the twisted way your brain seems to work, but there are times, like now, when I’m totally lost. In what way exactly is what you just said an apology?"

Lily wasn’t too happy with the ‘twisted brain’ part but let it pass.

"It’s not exactly an apology," she admitted reluctantly. "I just meant to say that I didn’t need help when you asked but I did when I met Sirius in the library the next day. I never meant to ask him rather than you in the first place. And I was so surprised when he offered to lend me the book that I didn’t have the chance to say no."

James stared hard Lily but she could see he was trying to suppress a smile, and she tried not to look too triumphant.

"Why is it that I can never stay angry at you when you start explaining the obscure reasoning behind everything you do?" he asked in mock exasperation.

Lily grinned. "Because I’m irresistible?"

He shook his head. "No, I think it’s because of your love of raspberries." He laughed. "Whenever I feel like strangling you there’s this image of you licking your fingers covered in raspberry jam popping into my head and I always end letting you live in the end."

Lily was shocked. "James! The only time you caught me doing that was in our first year!"

She remembered it like it was yesterday. She had been very homesick and depressed a week into school. Coming to Hogwarts didn’t seem so great any more. One night, she had taken a jar of home-made raspberry jam from her trunk and tiptoed down to the common room where the fire was slowly dying. She remembered sitting down in one of the big, squashy armchairs, trying to open the jar with her small hands. It had taken eleven-year-old Lily a long time but she had succeeded and could finally dip her fingers into the deliciously sticky mixture. She was licking them off, happy memories from home floating through her mind, when James had come down the stairs, his hair as messy as ever. She never thought he would remember it.

"So? I have an excellent memory," he answered simply, smiling.

Lily was troubled by the tender look in his eyes and lowered her gaze. She started to pluck at the grass, which came right up to the steps, but James’ hand came to rest on top of hers, and she looked up. He wasn’t smiling anymore and his expression was grave.

"You were sad then, you wanted your parents," he said softly. "You’re sad now too, have been for a long time, in fact. I wished…"

Lily never knew what he wished because he stopped quite suddenly and looked into the distance. The night had fallen without Lily noticing and stars were twinkling in the black sky. A lantern fixed above the oak doors was throwing its soft light on them and seemed to be casting some sort of spell. Surely James’ face had never had that ethereal and otherworldly quality before? She looked at him more closely and it seemed to her that he wasn’t quite there on the steps with her anymore. But wherever he was, it was not a happy place. She had never seen him so downcast, as if a great weight was resting on his shoulders.

A gust of wind came blowing towards them and Lily shivered. As she put her hands in her pockets to keep them warm her right hand came in contact with the cold metal of the small lion pendant she had meant to give back to James. She pulled it out and held it in her palm. Despite the freshness of the night it warmed up quickly at the contact with her skin, and she was suddenly loath to part with it. James was still looking off into the distance and hadn’t seen it yet; she could easily put it back into her pocket and keep it. It was almost as if it was asking her to keep it; a pleasant warmth was spreading through her body and it felt wonderful.

She was about to give in when another gust of wind, stronger and colder than the first one, brought her back to reality, and the metal felt cold in her hand once more. She must have been imagining things.

She got up and shook James by the shoulder. He blinked and looked up at her.

"It’s getting cold, we should get inside and have some dinner."

He nodded and stood up. Together they silently went up the stairs and through the doors. It was only when they arrived at the entrance to the Great Hall that Lily stopped and handed James the necklace.

"You left it in my room this afternoon," she said.

James looked at the pendant in his hand and then back at Lily. His eyes were unreadable.

"Thank you," was all he said.

Lily smiled. "You’re welcome."

Having spotted Marian sitting alone at the Gryffindor table, she was about to walk over to her when James placed a hand on her arm to stop her.

"I think I need to apologise to you, too."

Lily just looked at him, dumbfounded.

"For barging into your dorm like I did," he clarified.

"Oh, well…You had every reasons to be angry, I suppose," she hazarded.

"Yes, but I wasn’t really mad at you. There are…" He hesitated. "There are other things on my mind," he finally said. "But I shouldn’t have turned my anger onto you like that. I don’t know what came over me."

Lily bit her lip and thought for a moment. "Was it something that Trelawney said to you this morning?"

"It’s complicated, Lily," he answered, side-stepping her question. "You don’t need to be burdened with it, you have your own issues to deal with. Don’t worry about me."

"If you say so," Lily said, unconvinced.

"Indeed I say so, my little Poppy." He smiled. "Now go and have some dinner with your friend. She seems rather lonely," he said gesturing towards Marian. "I’ll go and sit with the boys."

It was only when he had walked away and she saw him laughing with his friends that she realised she hadn’t told him half of what she wanted to. Sighing, she walked over to Marian and sat down, thanking her for the sandwiches.

****************************

Time passed rather uneventfully until Thursday. Marian had helped Lily take her measurements for the duelling uniforms since Lily had been sleeping when Madam Malkin came on Monday, classes were still the same as always, and Hogwarts and its inhabitants had settled into the usual routine. She had not spoken privately with James since their little talk but everything seemed to be fine between them. Her breakdown had done Lily a lot of good, and had she not still been musing over the strange Duelling professor, she would have felt better than she had in a long time.

"I don’t think I should have had that extra piece of apple pie for dessert," Marian said as she and Lily were walking to their first Duelling class. "I’ll have all the grace of an oliphant if we’re asked to do some physical stuff."

"It’s ‘elephant’," Lily corrected automatically. Marian was a pureblood and very fond of Muggle culture, but she had a hard time getting things exactly right.

Marian shrugged. "Oliphant, elephant… Sounds close enough to me. By the way, since we’re talking about Muggle things, didn’t you say you’d finished that Moonstone book? You said you’d lend it to me when you had."

"Only if you promise not to look at the last page while you’re still halfway through the story."

"I promise," Marian answered with a huge grin. She loved detective fictions written by Muggles; she was fascinated by the way the characters could solve an enigma without the use of magic.

Lily smiled indulgently. "I’ll give the book to you tomorrow, and I’ll charm it so you won’t be able to find out how it ends without reading every single word in order first."

"Just say flat out you don’t trust me! And there’s no such spell anyway."

"Oh but there is." Lily looked smug. "I did some research after you spoiled yourself the ending of The Unicorn."

Marian was about to protest but didn’t get the chance as they had reached the classroom and she saw that Professor Raven was standing in the corridor, next to the door.

His face was expressionless, as were his eyes as they swept over the two girls. "Names?" he asked.

Marian answered for the both of them. "Marian MacMillan and Lily Evans."

Raven checked a roll of parchment he was holding and said, "Ah, yes… the Potions genius and the Charms expert…" The last time Lily had heard him speak, his voice had been strained, and she was quite relieved to hear that it wasn’t today. He didn’t appear to hold any grudge against her. Though it was a bit strange that he knew about them already. Did he ask for a report on every student after he accepted the job? It didn’t seem likely, Hogwarts wasn’t a very big school but it wasn’t exactly small either. She’d just have to wait and see to form an opinion of him. "Go in and have a seat," he said, smiling.

The room looked nothing like a usual classroom. It was at least as big as the Gryffindor common room and of the same round shape, although it wasn’t situated in a tower. Five high windows were pierced into the thick wall and overlooked the lake. The windows occupied only half of the curved wall, the rest was made of solid grey stone. There was no desk in sight, only a double ring of chairs placed around a big circle carved into the stone floor. Smaller circles were carved here and there inside, touching and overlapping each other in some places, and in the centre was a blue five points star. The border of the big circle was about four inches wide and strange symbols Lily had never seen were written inside it.

A lot of the students from the four houses were already there, waiting impatiently for the class to begin. It seemed that the circle of chairs was divided into four quarters, one for each house, but Lily didn’t know if it had been planed that way or if the students had decided by themselves to keep together with their fellow housemates.

Lily and Marian found two empty chairs in the first row, next to Beth and Amy who were whispering and giggling madly about something or other. It took less than two minutes for all the students to arrive, the last ones being James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, all looking slightly breathless. They found seats in the second row, behind Lily and Marian. And it seemed to Lily that as Raven was making his way to the centre of the circle, he was throwing a none-too-pleased look at them.

Standing in the middle of the blue star, Raven surveyed his students silently, revolving around himself to take them all in. You could have heard a pin drop and many felt nervous under his piercing gaze. Suddenly, he smiled, and it was as if a spell had been broken. Everyone seemed to relax a bit and Raven started walking slowly around the circle.

"Welcome to my class," he started. "I hope you will learn many things from me this year, and, hopefully, the following one too. I’m here to teach you to protect yourself and fight against unfriendly witches or wizards. Now, I won’t dwell too much on the usefulness of this class as I did that already last Sunday, and you’re old enough to understand the position our world is in."

He stopped for a moment then to let his words sink in. Satisfied with the seriousness he could see on his students’ faces, he went on.

"As you’ve noticed, there aren’t any desks in this room. You won’t need to bring parchment, books or quills with you for this class. The only times you will have to take up your quill will be for assignments. And I wish to tell you once and for all that when it happens, assignments will be handed in when they are due, no delay. I trust we understand each other."

Several students gulped uncomfortably. Many of them had asked for an extension at least once since they started Hogwarts. Some of the teachers were easy to talk to and readily accepted whatever excuses were given. Professor Raven wouldn’t be one of them. Though he was quite young, he knew how to command respect, and he seemed as strict as Professor McGonagall, the Head of Gryffindor house.

"Now that’s out of the way, we will begin our lesson."

Raven took his wand out of the pocket of his black robes and twirled it lazily between his fingers.

"We’ve lost some time because of the ‘first lesson speech’ and I will only provide you with a little demonstration today. And for that I need a volunteer."

Of course no one raised their hands. Raven was imposing enough as it was, but seeing him at close range with his wand out had an almost paralysing effect on them.

Conscious of that fact, Raven slowly walked around the circle once more, looking at each of the students, his long fingers still twirling the thin piece of wood that must have blasted more than a few enemies to oblivion in the not-so-distant past.

He never paused once in front of someone and Lily hadn’t felt anything evil or malevolent emanating from his gaze. But of course, the most powerful wizards could easily stop any real feeling from showing if they wished.

Raven had finished his inspection and walked back to the blue star. He fixed his eyes on some point behind Lily and smirked ever so slightly.

"Mr Potter, why don’t you come into the circle and show us what five full years in this school has taught you?"

Lily heard James get up behind her and watched him - as did everyone else in the room - walk up to the teacher. Raven was the tallest but not by much. Actually, now that they were next to each other, Lily could see a vague resemblance between the two. Maybe it was the hair…

Raven held out his hand. "Your wand please," he asked. "You won’t need it for this demonstration."

James looked cool and composed as he drew his wand out of his robes and handed it to his teacher. Lily swallowed. She wouldn’t have been so calm in his place.

Raven pocketed the wand and turned once more towards the class. "Now, I know that you are all eager to learn as many curses and protective charms as you can. But before we come to that, you must learn how to defend yourselves without your wand."

There were some worried whisperings. All of the students had done some accidental magic when they were feeling very strongly about something, but none could control it, much less produce it at will.

"Of course you won’t be able to block an Avada Kedavra or some of the more powerful spells. But with training, you’ll see that you can get out of some tricky predicaments and destabilise your adversary while you try to get your wand back or simply try and make your escape. There’s no need to stay and die bravely when you have the opportunity to save your skin." Here he looked at the Gryffindors in general and at James in particular. James looked back calmly and waited.

"We’ll keep it simple for today," Raven continued. "The reason I chose Mr Potter for that demonstration is because I know he had some previous training in the blocking of curses and it will be no trouble for him."

He seems to know a lot about James, Lily thought. Perhaps more than I do.

Raven waved his wand and the edge of one of the inside circles began to glow red. "Take your position in the circle, James. You won’t have to stay there once we start though."

James did as he was told and waited as Raven explained that none of the curses would get past the enchanted ring of stone and that there was no need to worry if they saw something coming their way. Raven then got his wand ready and concentrated all of his attention on James.

"Ready?" he asked.

James nodded slowly, never taking his eyes off his opponent. A second later the first spell was cast and landed in the middle of the circle James had been standing in only a millisecond before. Then it all went very fast. Raven was casting spells at increasing speed and James either dodged or countered with his bare hands. Everyone was fascinated and forgot about the blasts of light which were crashing on an invisible barrier inches from some them.

Lily couldn’t take her eyes from the scene in front of her. James was running and dodging with feline grace and agility, he wore the determined look she had seen so often before Quidditch matches and he didn’t seem to be getting tired.

She could see that Raven was playing it fair. She knew all the curses he threw and none were dangerous. She wondered how he could keep his head clear with all the revolving he was doing. For he hadn’t put a toe out of the central star and it left him in a very restrained space. But he seemed to be moving even more swiftly with every passing second.

It all stopped abruptly when James barely dodged a charm Lily, for once, didn’t know. The bright blue light grazed his cheek and left a thin cut before crashing in front of a frightened Ravenclaw girl. It wasn’t bleeding, and James had probably barely felt it, but Raven stopped immediately. He congratulated his opponent and handed him his wand.

James took it without a word.

"There, you’ve seen a bit of what can be done without a wand. Everyone can learn to do what Mr Potter did just now; blocking-wise I mean, for dodging is a different matter. In Mr Potter’s case, Quidditch and other things are a great advantage. But you’ll be able to dodge too with some training. And speaking of training, go and sign up for the Duelling club rather than damaging each other in private. Madam Weasley wouldn’t be too pleased to see her infirmary overcrowded." He smiled, putting his wand back into his robes. "Class is dismissed."

The students started to file out of the room, some girls throwing admiring looks at James or Raven on their way out. Sirius came up to James and slapped him on the shoulder.

"Well done mate," he said. "You’ll have no problem finding a date for that ball now. Have you noticed how Miranda Watson was looking at you with those hungry eyes?"

James threw him a dirty look. "Shut it Sirius," he said shortly. He went to collect his bag and left the room without a word.

"What’s wrong with him?" Lily heard Sirius ask Remus and Peter as they left the room and tried to catch up with James.

Professor Raven’s lips were slightly twisted into something between a smirk and a smile as he watched them go. Lily felt confused as she was pulled out of the classroom by Marian. She wasn’t even close to pinning his character down and she would have to trust him for now. Dumbledore had hired him after all, and it should be guarantee enough.

Chapter 6 : Birthday Girl

As she walked down the stairs to the common room on the fifteenth of September, Lily felt better than even she could have imagined. It was a Sunday morning, the day promised to be nice and warm, and it was her birthday. Sixteen years old…

She felt much older than that for some reason, but since the calendar said it was 1975, she was indeed sixteen.

"Oh, isn't that sweet." Marian drawled from behind Lily as they got to the bottom of the stairs. "Hogwarts' greatest and brightest waiting like dutiful knights for the fair red haired maiden."

Lily tried to stifle a giggle. It wasn't everyday you saw James, Sirius, Remus and Peter lined up in front of the fire place, angelic smiles on their faces, and wearing what looked like old and somewhat rusty suits of armour.

Remus was holding a medium-sized box wrapped in Gryffindor colours and a loud grating sound could be heard as he made his way across the room towards Lily. A small group of second years snorted as they watched Remus' noisy progress, but they were quickly reduced to silence when Sirius glared at them jokingly and drew a remarkably nasty looking sword from its sheath. Peter slapped him playfully on the shoulder with his metal-gloved hand and Sirius nearly went flying across the room.

Lily had to admit that Remus looked impressive from close up in his current attire, at least now that he wasn't squeaking anymore. He stopped in front of her and was awkwardly bending a knee, offering her the golden box.

"The Marauders of Hogwarts are proud to present thee with this humble gift and would be honoured to be thy faithful knights for the day, O fair Lily!" (Good line.)

Lily took the box and found herself quite at a loss as to what to say. In fact, she felt like laughing more than anything else. Trying hard not to smile, she decided to play their game.

"I thank you, Sir Remus. Would you accept a kiss as a reward for your generous and faithful service?"

Sir Remus barely had the time to open his mouth before three voices chorused a loud, "Wait!"

More grating and squeaking was heard as James, Sirius and Peter hurried across the room and pushed Remus ruthlessly aside when they reached Lily.

"What about your other faithful knights, my fair Lady?" Peter asked. "Don't they deserve a kiss too?"

"Hear! Hear!" shouted James and Sirius.

They looked so ridiculous standing like that in their oversized armour that Lily burst out laughing.

"Sometimes I wonder how we would all make it through Hogwarts without you four here to entertain us," she managed to say after a while. "Where the hell did you find this armour?"

"We borrowed them from the fifth floor corridor of the west wing," Remus answered with a huge grin. "That part of the castle is quite abandoned and no one will notice."

"Why don't you open your present?" James put in, a merry light dancing in his eyes.

Lily looked suspiciously at the box in her hands. Five years of acquaintance with the four boys had taught her to be wary of everything that went through their hands.

"Alright," she said, walking towards a table to avoid blocking the staircase any longer. Her little group followed and watched with amusement as she cautiously first untied the red ribbon, and then took the red paper away. Nothing happened and Lily decided it was safe to touch the 'thing'.

The 'thing' was a plain rectangular casket made of dark, smooth wood, which looked quite sturdy. There wasn't any lock and Lily ran her fingers all over it to try and find a way to open it.

"It's a Secrets Keeper," Sirius explained. "Inside is much larger than it looks and you can put anything you want to keep safe in it. Once it's closed, nothing can open it but the password its owner chooses. We made sure of it."

"And how does the new owner open it for the first time?" Lily asked, trying to force the lid open in frustration.

"Not like that in any case," James warned, taking the box out of her hands. "You'll only scratch the wood with your nails. All you have to do is tap the lid once with your wand and say the password of your choice."

"You’d better do it somewhere no one else can hear you, though," Peter chimed in. "We couldn't manage a voice recognition charm and everyone with the password can open it."

"I see." Lily took the casket from James and considered it briefly before turning back to her friends. "Why don't you go and put that armour back where you found it and meet us in the Great Hall for breakfast?"

There was quite a commotion as the boys made their way out and stepped through the portrait hole, but Lily didn't pay attention as she thoughtfully turned the casket in her hands.

"I wouldn't place anything really important in there if I were you," Marian cautioned.

"You're probably right. It looks authentic though. I've heard about Secrets Keepers, they're really helpful when they're well done. I'll check it for any suspicious spells and I'll see what I'm going to do with it then."

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

Lily grinned. "I won't, don't worry. I'll go and drop it in the dorm. I'll be back in a second."

When she stepped into the dorm she found Cléobulle sprawled in a patch of sunlight on her bed. He opened his eyes briefly before returning to his little nap at the sight of his mistress. On her bed were the presents she had received from her friends and family. From Beth and Amy she got a pocket Teen-witch make-up set, a glittering barrette and the dubious honour of becoming a decorating assistant for the newly scheduled Winter Ball. Marian went for something useful and gave her a diary that the owner could customise. The instructions for ‘charming it to your taste’ were printed in a book twice the size of said diary and looked quite complicated. Lily was quite interested in having a diary that would write back to you but it looked extremely complicated to do. From her parents and Muggle relatives she got various things ranging from home-made sweets to a pair of plain black shoes.

She placed the casket with her new possessions, promising herself that she would examine it and check it for any suspicious spells later. Snatching the barrette from the small pile, Lily pinned it at random in her hair and went to the mirror hanging on the stone wall to look at the effect. The green clip nicely complemented her eyes, and she made a mental note to thank her friends again for their flair.

Just as she was inspecting herself more closely, her stomach gave a loud rumble and she felt relieved that no one else was in the room except for her sleeping cat. She was always quite embarrassed when it happened in public.

She went down to the common room, where Marian was waiting, and they hurried to the Great Hall together.

**************

"Hey, Lily. Listen to this."

Lily looked up from her porridge to Marian. Her friend had that morning's Daily Prophet spread in front of her, while her breakfast stood almost untouched, discarded on the side.

" ‘The heir to the Malfoy fortune announced that he would make donations to several of our renowned institutions such as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the excellent St Mungo’s Hospital. Still affected by the sudden and mysterious death of his cherished father, young Lucius Malfoy, twenty five years of age, has firmly decided to take on all of his father's charges and duties. "One of the charges I hold close to my heart," he told us, "is being on the Board of Governors at Hogwarts. The other Governors and I will stay at the school for a few days and see what can be done to ensure that its administration and direction are the best they can be." ’ Well, what do you say to that?"

"I say that this Malfoy sounds like a very generous person."

Marian snorted. "Generous? I can see you've never met him."

"Is he that terrible?"

"He's the most snobbish wizard in all England. Very anti-Muggleborn too. It wouldn't surprise me if he dabbled in the Dark Arts. Here, look at his picture." Marian slipped the newspaper across the table to Lily. "Speaks for itself."

Lily leaned forward, a glass of orange juice in her hand, and looked at the picture labelled "Lucius Malfoy, an asset to the English Wizarding World, inaugurating the new Apparition Point in Diagon Alley." It showed a stern-faced wizard with very pale hair in which a slight wind was playing. His robes were dark and conservative but obviously expensive. He was cutting a ribbon that was stretched between two thin pillars. Some jovial, round-faced wizards surrounded him; they seemed quite pleased with themselves and were congratulating each other, slapping backs and clasping hands. Lucius Malfoy looked quite out of place looking so stern and standing so still among them. Lily knew instantly he was not a person she would like to get acquainted with.

"Lily."

Lily started and nearly spilled her orange juice on the beautiful but cold face of Lucius Malfoy. She threw an accusing glare at Marian who had obviously seen who was coming towards the Gryffindor table but hadn't deemed it necessary to warn her friend.

"Hello, Howard," she said, turning in her seat to face this year's Head Boy.

"Could I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, go ahead."

Howard looked a bit uncomfortable. "I meant privately," he said, shifting from one foot to another.

"Alright." Lily hoped she didn't sound too unenthusiastic. Howard was a nice boy. Brown hair, pale blue eyes, perfect grades, polite: nice. Too nice. Breaking up with him had made her feel like the worst person in the world, because she knew she was causing him great pain. She really didn't want him to try and put his heart on a silver platter for her to smash again.

She followed him out of the Great Hall with great misgivings, toying with her sleeves as she always did when nervous.

When they were at a safe distance from the doors, Howard stopped and pulled out a small box from his pocket.

"Here," he said. "You didn't think I'd forget about your birthday, did you?"

"Howard, you shouldn't -"

"No, no," he hastily cut in. "It was my pleasure, and it's only a trinket. Take it."

"You're too sweet for your own good, Howard Clint," Lily sighed, taking the little box.

"I'm not too sweet!" he protested with a grin. "I didn't get my Head Boy badge by being sweet. I'm a person with charisma and a sense of leadership."

"Of course you are. Now, let’s see what our charismatic Head Boy gave me."

Lily swiftly disposed of the wrapping paper and opened the box. Inside were two red bracelets, one velvet and the other leather. Each had what looked like a small black ball attached as a pendant or a charm.

"It's a cat tracker," Howard explained. "You put the leather bracelet around the neck of your cat and you keep the velvet one. You only have to touch the small pendant to see where your pet is. I know your Cléobulle tends to wander quite a lot and I thought it could be helpful."

"Thank you, Howard. I'll be glad to know where the little devil puts his little black paws. Hogwarts is such a big castle that I'm often worried about him." Lily smiled at her companion, genuinely delighted.

Howard seemed greatly relieved at her words. "I'm glad you liked it. And, er, I was wondering if you'd consider going to the Winter Ball with me?" he asked a bit hesitantly.

Here we go, Lily thought. I knew I shouldn't have agreed to talk to him in private. She was about to answer him but got distracted by the entrance doors opening. In came a group of venerable looking wizards, chatting and laughing between themselves. Some of them wore robes which couldn't quite conceal well-rounded bellies, a sign of men who liked the good things in life. They passed though the entrance hall without paying attention to Howard and Lily and went up the main stairs. In the now vacant doorway a tall wizard could be seen standing and looking out towards the grounds. He had the palest blond hair Lily had ever seen, almost white, and she knew, even before one of the older wizards turned and called "Lucius!," that it was the Lucius Malfoy she had seen moments before in the black and white wizard picture on the front of the Daily Prophet.

The young wizard turned around at the sound of his name and went to join the group. As he passed in front of the two students his eyes swept over them quickly before dismissing them as insignificant, for which Lily felt quite grateful. She came back to the present when she heard Howard repeating his question about the ball.

"Don't you have to go with the Head Girl though?"

"Nope. I'm free to choose whoever I want."

"Oh… er… do you mind if I think about it first? It's only mid-September, we've got time."

Howard's face fell a bit but he didn't try to push the subject further. "So," he said, "you didn't enrol in the Duelling Club? I didn't see you there."

"No, I didn't." Lily was glad of the change of subject. "Maybe next year. I didn't know you'd signed up, though. Do you have time with your Head Boy's duties and study sessions for the NEWTs?"

"I managed to get everything in my schedule, but it's a tight fit," he joked.

"So, how is it?"

"It's great. Raven's a very good teacher. He knows a lot of things and it's obvious he's been duelling a lot in the past. He actually told me I had a good chance of being Ravenclaw's champion for this year’s competition.

Lily smiled when she saw he was quite embarrassed talking about his accomplishments. "I'll make sure I come and watch your duels. You must be very good for Raven to tell you that; he never overly praises his students."

Howard looked down and blushed at the compliment. "It's a pity you didn't join," he said after a while, looking up to meet her gaze. "You would have done very well."

"I'll think about it for next year."

"You do that. Well, I'll leave you now, I have one of those ‘NEWTs study sessions’ as you call them. I'll see you around."

Lily watched him go up the stairs, thinking it had all gone very well. She turned, and was about to go back into the Great Hall when she heard hurried footsteps on the same staircase Howard took. It was Sirius, James, Remus and Peter, free from their heavy armour and coming down to breakfast.

"Was that Clint we saw heading towards the Ravenclaw common room?" Sirius asked as they stopped before her. "We couldn't be sure because he passed very quickly. He seemed in quite a hurry, or quite intent on avoiding us."

Lily saw James eyeing the open box with the bracelets in it but he didn't say anything and she quickly closed it and shoved it in her pocket.

"Yes," she answered. "He just wanted to wish me a happy birthday."

"Thought so," Sirius grinned. "Well, Gryffindors, what do you say to some breakfast? I'm starving!"

His three friends followed him towards the Great Hall. They were breathing a bit heavily due to their run from the fifth floor corridor but Lily noticed that Remus was a lot more winded than the others and had a flushed face which looked as though it would be hot to the touch.

"Remus!" she called.

Remus stopped and motioned for the others to continue without him. "Yes?" he asked, turning towards Lily.

She walked up to him and placed a hand on one cheek. She had been right: he was almost boiling. Ignoring his dumbfounded expression, she grabbed his arm and dragged him into a secluded corner where they could talk in private instead of being watched by half the Great Hall. She looked at the boy in front of her sternly.

"Remus, I know that sometimes I can get wrapped up in my own little world and that I think mostly of my problems, but I'm not blind and I've noticed there’s been something wrong with you since we got back to school."

Remus tried to say something but Lily wouldn't let him. "Don't deny it, I won't believe you. You often look flushed or out of breath for no particular reason. You're sweating a lot too, and you're always looking tired. I'm worried about you, Remus. I want you to tell me what's wrong so I can help you."

"I'm okay, Lily. Don't worry about me. It's true I've been out of it lately, but I'm going to be fine."

Even if he hadn't faltered and nearly fallen immediately after speaking, she wouldn't have believed him. He caught himself in time by throwing his right hand against the wall. He clutched his right side with his left hand and closed his eyes tightly, his face taut with pain.

Lily panicked.

"Remus? Remus?!"

Remus swallowed hard and opened his eyes. "It's okay, it will pass. It always passes."

"No, it's not okay! Look at you! You could collapse at any moment. We need to take you to the hospital wing, and quick."

Remus felt too weak to protest and let Lily guide him gently up the stairs. They made their way slowly along the corridors, and Lily felt Remus leaning against her more heavily with each step until he finally collapsed fifty feet from the hospital wing door, bringing Lily down with him.

If she was panicked before, Lily was frantic now. "Remus? Remus, come on! We're nearly there."

But Remus had slipped into blissful oblivion and couldn't hear her. She drew her wand out of her robes with a shaking hand and muttered, ‘Mobilicorpus’. The charm she had learned in her fifth year had served her well, and Remus' still body raised slowly from the ground. Once she felt sure she had her hand steady she started to run.

She threw the door opened with her free hand and called, "Madam Weasley! Madam Weasley!"

The ageing nurse appeared at the door of her office as Lily lowered Remus onto a bed. "Miss Evans?"

She rushed to the bed and paled when she saw who was lying on it. "What happened? Did he hurt you?" she asked as she started running her wand over him to check for injuries

.

"N-no, he didn't hurt me. Why would he?"

Madam Weasley muttered, "never mind" without looking up from her patient. In her rush, a strand of her hair had escaped from the tight chignon she always wore. Lily thought that it must have been outrageously orange before it started to become streaked with white. "What happened?" the nurse asked more calmly.

"I don't exactly know," Lily started. "He's been flushed and sweating since school started. Perhaps it started before that, but I can't be sure since I didn't see him during the summer. I confronted him with it and he tried to deny it but he collapsed and I brought him here."

The tip of Madam Weasley's wand glowed blue as it stopped above his right side level with his ribs.

She looked up at Lily. "You did well, Miss Evans. Now I must ask you to wait outside while I look after Mr Lupin."

"Is he going to be alright, Madam Weasley?"

The nurse smiled reassuringly. "I think so, Miss Evans. You don’t have to worry."

Lily nodded and left the room. She didn't go far though, and stayed close to the door. She didn't know how long she waited. She was lost in her thoughts, wondering why the other three boys hadn't already dragged him to the infirmary. Surely they had noticed something was wrong with Remus? Illness seemed to be quite frequent in his family since he often went to visit ailing parents. Perhaps it was in the genes and Remus had inherited it. He didn’t seem the frail type, though.

She snapped out of her meditative state when she heard the muffled voice of Madam Weasley through the door. She put her ear against the solid wood and listened.

"Just in time… Wound… Silver… Poison in his blood… Quite a long time… Wonder he lasted so long…"

It was all she could catch and it didn't make sense. Who would poison Remus? It couldn't have been the Slytherins since apparently it happened during the summer holidays.

The door opened before she could wonder further and Madam Weasley let her in. There was no one else in the room except for Remus, and Lily wondered who it was the nurse had been talking to.

"He will sleep until this evening and will stay with me through the night, too. You can go and sit with him if you want. A message has been sent to his friends and they should be here shortly."

The door opened before Lily could make a step towards Remus' bed, and Lucius Malfoy walked in with two other wizards, both much shorter than him.

Madam Weasley's face went red. "Being school governors does not give you the right to enter the infirmary like you would a pub," she said angrily, but keeping her voice down so as not to disturb her patient. "I have a patient who needs his rest and quiet."

One of the shorter wizards apologised profusely, saying that they had been assured that the hospital wing was not hosting any students at the moment. He lost no time in making his exit, dragging his short colleague with him. Lucius Malfoy looked towards the 'patient' and his eyes narrowed.

"Is it prudent to let a student alone with young Mr Lupin?" he asked in a dangerous whisper, his gaze flickering momentarily towards Lily before fixing itself on Madam Weasley.

Lily was astounded. How could keeping Remus company be dangerous for her? And why was Lucius Malfoy so hostile about it? She chanced a glance at Madam Weasley and was surprised when saw the expression on her face. She knew that the old nurse could get quite worked up when someone intruded upon her territory, but she had never seen her so angry. She looked like a wolf mother defending her cubs.

"I know what is best for my patients better than you, Mr Malfoy," she said curtly. "Your late father knew it and left me in peace; you'd better take a leaf out of his book and do likewise."

Lucius Malfoy sneered and didn't deign to reply. Lily caught his eyes before he left and didn't like what she could read in their cold depth one bit.

******************

James, Sirius and Peter arrived shortly after Malfoy's departure and were concerned to find their friend lying in the bed, his face very pale.

Madam Weasley rounded on them as soon as Lily had finished explaining what had happened.

"You didn't suspect anything?" she asked them severely.

"Well, we noticed that he wasn't always very well," James started. Peter and Sirius nodded in agreement and he went on. "But we thought it had to do with… with his condition."

Was it her imagination or did James glanced uncomfortably at her before his slight hesitation? It was the first time that she’d heard that Remus had a ‘condition’. She kept silent but was determined to clear the mystery up.

Madam Weasley ushered them out of the room some time later telling them that Remus was going to be fine and that they could come back that evening to see if he was awake. Sirius and Peter headed for Gryffindor Tower but James held Lily back.

"There's something I want to show you," he said. "Call it an extra birthday present if you want."

"My! Aren't I getting spoiled today!" Lily exclaimed.

"But don't you love it?" James teased. "Come on," he said, taking her hand. "We're going to miss the perfect moment if we don't hurry."

James was leading her back down to the entrance hall at a good pace. On the way they met a cheerful Dumbledore who wished a happy birthday to Lily. He was in the company of Professor Raven who didn't seem particularly thrilled to see them. He also politely wished Lily a happy birthday but only bowed his head curtly in recognition to James before walking away with the Headmaster.

Lily's suspicions that the two had met each other before were re-enforced, and when she asked him about it, James replied vaguely that he had met him once or twice.

As they stepped onto the front porch, James looked at his watch, a Muggle model, and announced that they would have to run.

"Run?" Lily asked, puzzled.

"Yes, run, with the two legs you were born with." James pulled at her hand and dragged her toward this edge of the Forbidden Forest.

Lily stopped thinking and just let herself be guided by the boy running in front of her. Their pounding feet beat the ground in a regular cadence as the wind whistled in her ears. James stopped when they arrived at the entrance of the forest. It didn't look at all menacing on that fine morning, and Lily didn't protest when James pulled her along with him down a narrow path that was snaking between the lush vegetation. The light was dimmer in the forest but quite sufficient for them to see where they were putting their feet. After a minute or two, the path widened and the trees became taller. When James stopped, Lily found herself standing next to an old and venerable looking willow, its foliage so thick you couldn't even see the trunk. James took a step and went straight through the green curtain, dragging Lily with him.

On the other side it was like standing under a high green vault whose walls were singing softly along with the wind. But they didn't linger there, and James led her through another green curtain of leaves to find themselves on another winding path. This one wasn't as well kept as the other though, and they often had to skirt protruding roots or push aside branches.

When James stopped again they were standing at the edge of a small clearing. The trees surrounding it were so tall and their tops were so close to each other that the rays of the morning sun hadn't touched it yet, and it lay in a quiet shadowy light.

"Here we are," he whispered.

"And what is 'here' exactly?" Lily whispered back.

"This is a place I discovered in my second year, and no one else knows of it. Not even Hagrid, I think, or else the path we took wouldn't be so wild."

Lily listened to the sounds of the forest and inhaled deeply. Could it be…?

"James! I think I can smell -"

James put a finger on her lips to stop her. "Sshh. Wait a minute."

He didn't move his finger, and they both watched as the sun slowly flooded the clearing. It was nothing really, just a patch of grass in the middle of a circle of trees, but Lily already liked it more than her 'secret room' back in the castle. And she had smelled right! There, between two big trunks, was a raspberry bush abundantly loaded with delicious pinkish-red fruits.

"Happy birthday, Lily," James said quietly, removing his finger from her lips.

Her eyes still open wide with surprise, Lily turned to him. It curiously seemed to her as if he had offered her the world, or more precisely, his world.

As Lily usually never knew what to say when she was experiencing powerful emotions, she hoped that James would forgive what would come out of her mouth next.

"You found a place with a raspberry bush in your second year and you never told me?"

Well, that wasn't too bad. It certainly could have been worse. And James was laughing. Good sign.

"Actually the bush is your present," he said. "It wasn't here when I discovered the place. I brought it here last year so it would be ready for your birthday. It's an enchanted variety and will produce raspberries all year long so you can indulge without any guilt."

Lily looked at her bush for a moment before turning back to James, her eyes shining with gratitude.

"Thank you," she said. "It's the best gift I have ever received, and I'm glad it came from you."

She took both his hands and led him into the light of the clearing. They spent the rest of the morning and a good part of the afternoon sitting there, talking and eating fresh raspberries from Lily's new bush, all worries forgotten for a while.

Author’s notes : Here you go, another chapter to keep you occupied on this cold week-end! We make a bit of a jump in time since Hogwarts is getting ready for Halloween. I hope you enjoy it and don’t forget to review please.

Chapter 7: Of Skeletons and ‘Autumn Fantasies’.

When Lily studied her reflection in the mirror on the last morning of October, she wondered where the frightened and insecure girl of the past months was. Her eyes were clear and her face looked fresh and rested. Since her birthday, life had been as smooth and normal as it could be in a wizarding school since her birthday, and her past worries, if not forgotten, were no longer an obsession.

Her breakdown in front of James back in September was one thing she couldn’t explain any more. She couldn’t remember clearly what was said, but she felt she had blown things utterly out of proportion. However, she couldn’t complain about the results since she was now conscious of the importance of their strange friendship, and things were altogether much better between them.

After the chaos Voldemort had managed to create in Diagon Alley last July, a flock of the best-trained Aurors was on his trail, and he seemed to be lying low for the time being. As usual, thinking of the Diagon Alley attack made Lily’s heart go out to Marian, who had suffered so much because of it. She fervently hoped it wouldn’t be long before the dark wizard and his supporters were locked securely in the sinister prison of Azkaban.

Something soft brushing against her leg broke her train of thought. It was Cléobulle, who wanted to be let out of the room for his morning stroll.

"Alright, alright," Lily said, turning away from the mirror. "I suppose it’s time for me to go too; I’ve already skipped breakfast and I don’t want to be late for my first class."

She picked up her school bag at the foot of her bed, made sure her Prefect badge was clean and prominently visible and opened the door of the empty dormitory. Cléobulle sneaked through it and set off down the stairs to the common room in a flash. Lily didn’t have to worry about letting him out through the portrait hole since it seemed he knew of other ways to come and go as he pleased. The Pet Tracker Howard had given her for her birthday would allow her to see how her cat got out, but she had never used it to date and didn’t plan to do so unless he went missing for an alarming amount of time. She had the velvet bracelet in the pocket of her robes, but she only played with the little charm to occupy her fingers. After all, even cats deserved to have their secrets.

And besides, she had other things on her mind at the moment. Two things, to be precise, and the first one was Remus’ mysterious condition.

She had a very good idea as to what it might be. She had been observing him and the boys closely since his release from the Hospital wing, and Lily was by no means a dense witch. A list of symptoms she’d written down and a visit to the library had provided her with two solutions: either Remus’ family was really prone to falling sick, or Remus was a werewolf. She was leaning towards the second solution, especially after she had finally put together the pieces of information unwittingly given by Madam Weasley about the silver, the wound and the poison. But she needed to be certain of it. And the first concrete step to discovering the truth was going to be made this morning.

Walking briskly along the corridors, she made her way to the Great Hall, hoping to catch Marian before she left for the first class of the day. Luck was with her, and her friend was just getting up from her seat when Lily arrived at the Gryffindor table. She grabbed a cold piece of toast with one hand and Marian’s arm with the other.

"I need your help with something," Lily whispered on the way to the dungeons. It was Friday morning and they had Double Potions with the Slytherins.

"Explain." Marian calmly freed her arm from Lily’s death grip and adjusted her the strap of her school bag on her shoulder.

"I need you to find another partner for Potions today. There’s something I want to discuss with Peter in private without looking suspicious. Remus has left to visit his old grandmother and it’s the perfect opportunity."

"You think that it won’t look suspicious that you’re sitting with Peter in the first place?"

"Not if we make it look like you and I had an argument and don’t want to sit with each other."

"But we’re doing the advanced Dreamless Sleep Potion today!" Marian protested. "With Remus away, there’ll be an odd number of students in the class, and I don’t want to do that potion by myself; it’s quite complicated."

"I bet you could do it with your eyes closed," Lily countered. When she saw Marian wasn’t pleased she hastily added, "But I’m not asking you to sit alone today; someone else won’t be here this morning and you’ll have a partner."

"Who?" asked Marian suspiciously.

"Well, I know from a reliable source that Avery got into a nasty accident yesterday at Quiddicth practice, and he’ll be in the Hospital Wing for the remainder of the week. So you see, you’ll be able to work with -"

"There’s no way I’m sitting with Snape, Lily."

Marian had gone red, and her voice was frantic and high-pitched, totally unlike her usual tone.

Lily knew she was asking a lot: there was no love lost between Marian and Severus Snape, and the two were in fierce competition to get the better grades in Potions. But the opportunity she had been trying to find for the past two weeks was unexpectedly presenting itself, and she couldn’t let it pass. Class was the only place from which Peter wouldn’t be able to escape if she asked provocative questions.

"I’m sorry I have to ask you this, Marian. But please, do it for me."

The two friends had stopped in front of the classroom, and students were walking past them to take their seats. Marian looked for a moment at the lonely figure of Severus Snape, already seated at his usual desk in the front row. Turning back to face Lily, she saw James, Peter and Sirius turning the corner and walking towards them. She heaved a big sigh and whispered, "You owe me big, Lily."

Out loud she said harshly, "I’m sick of you looking after me as if I was a baby, Lily. I can take care of myself and decide who I want to trust enough to be friends with. If you’re not happy about me going to the Ball with Gregory Wentworth it’s your problem, not mine."

Marian left Lily standing there and marched into the classroom. She slammed her bag onto the desk next to Snape and sat down without looking at him.

Back in the corridor Lily smiled sheepishly at the three boys who were looking at her dumbfounded.

"Mind if I sit with you Peter?" she asked. She had no problem trying to look disorientated and a bit upset; she hadn’t known Marian was going to the Christmas Ball with Wentworth, and it was true that she wasn’t happy about it.

***************************

"So Peter, do you know if all the silver’s gone from Remus’ blood?" Lily asked casually as she sprinkled a bit of powdered camomile into the bubbling cauldron.

Peter’s hand slipped, and he nearly chopped off his finger instead of the liquorice roots disposed in neat rows in front of him. Hiding a smirk, Lily started to idly stir the potion and went on. "It’s a wonder he lasted so long. Poor Remus; silver in his body is one of the worst things that could happen to him, isn’t it?"

Peter opened and closed his mouth like a fish a few times before he could utter a sound. "Wh-what do you mean?" he finally squeaked.

Lily leaned close to him, still stirring, and whispered in a conspiratorial tone. "Well, surely you know he should avoid silver like the plague because of his … err … condition."

She watched with glee as all the blood left Peter’s face, and he looked helplessly in front of him at the backs of James’ and Sirius’ heads. Oblivious, the two friends were diligently working on their potion. They usually tried to mess up Snape and Avery’s work, but Marian’s presence at the side of their favourite target stopped them this time. Knowing that no help would come, Peter gulped and turned to Lily.

"How long have you known?"

Lily was surprised to obtain her answer so quickly and so easily. She had done well to seek out Peter instead of James or Sirius, both too sharp and cunning for their own good. Not that Peter was an idiot; she was rather fond of him, but he was, unfortunately for him, lacking cool and self-control under pressure. "I’ve known for a while," she lied smoothly, reaching out to take the knife out of his trembling hand. "A werewolf is easy to spot when you’re specifically looking for one."

"Does anyone else know about it?" Peter asked fearfully, opening his eyes wide.

"No-one else knows and no-one will."

Some colour came back to Peter’s face at these words and he seemed to regain a semblance of composure. He looked suspiciously at Lily.

"How come you never told us?"

Lily smirked. If he thought he would destabilise her with that… She started to chop the liquorice roots herself, staying silent for a while, pretending to ponder the question.

"I wanted to see how long you would go on lying and hiding it from me," she said at last. "You were never going to tell me, were you?"

"Dumbledore made us promise we wouldn’t tell anyone."

She should have guessed Dumbledore knew of Remus’ condition. The man seemed to know everything that went on in the castle.

"I see." Lily nodded noncommittally and added the roots in the cauldron. She was really enjoying making this potion. For once, they weren’t using too many bizarre or slimy ingredients, and what they were preparing was close to a Muggle concoction. For her part, she wouldn’t mind drinking it if the need ever arose; it smelled much better than the standard Dreamless Sleep potion they had made back in fourth year.

"You, err, you want me to tell Remus that you know?"

Lily turned back to Peter sharply. "No. Don’t say anything, not even to James and Sirius. I wasn’t meant to discover anything, after all."

"Alright," Peter said uncertainly. "If that’s what you want…"

"That’s what I want, Peter," Lily said with finality, extinguishing their little fire with a flick of her wand.

The potion was ready to be tested, bottled and sent off to refurnish Madam Weasley’s stock.

**********************

At the end of the lesson, Lily was about to follow her classmates out of the room when she heard Professor Septimus ask Marian to stay behind. She waited in the doorway, not meaning to eavesdrop but catching the conversation all the same.

Professor Septimus was a kind wizard who had already seen many winters. Lily liked him because he didn’t seem to favour a particular house, unlike some other teachers. He was particularly fond of his two best students, Marian and Snape, and Lily had seen him taking a particular interest in their work during the lesson. It must have been a pleasing surprise for him to see them working together.

"How are you doing with your Potions project, Miss MacMillan?" he asked.

"I think I’m doing fine, Sir," Marian answered proudly. "I’m moving slowly, but it will be worth it."

Septimus nodded. "If you are happy with it, then that’s fine. But I want you to know that if you ever want to change and choose something else you can tell me. You are working on something very advanced, and more than one wizard broke their teeth on their cauldron while attempting to do the same thing as you."

"I know I have very little hope of finding the real antidote I want, Professor. But I won’t give up and there’s nothing to lose," Marian said determinedly.

"I have great faith in you, my dear." Septimus smiled. "And I will give you a piece of advice too." Marian nodded and the professor went on. "You can go and see Belinda Browning in Hogsmeade, tell her you came on my recommendation and she will help you. I know she’s up to her elbows in brioche batter now, but she is still an exceptional Potions brewer."

"Thank you, Professor."

"You’re welcome, child."

When Marian turned to leave the classroom and, noticing her friend standing at the door, she smiled the happiest smile Lily had seen her give in weeks. Marian waited until they were out of earshot of Septimus before exclaiming, "Oh, Lily! I’m going to work with Belinda Browning! The Belinda Browning! I know I should be angry with you for making me work with Severus, but I’m really too ecstatic for that! I’m going to McGonagall right away to ask her if I can go to Hogsmeade on special permission tomorrow. I’ll see you in History of Magic!"

Completely oblivious to the fact she had just called Snape ‘Severus’ for the first time in her life, Marian took off at an amazing speed and Lily found herself walking alone to the Great Hall to get some lunch. Now that she had tricked Peter into giving her the confirmation she needed, she was free to concentrate on her second big task of the day. And for that she would have to talk to Howard.

********************************

The brief visit from the Board of Governors last month hadn’t changed anything in the running of the school as yet. They just toured the school, spoke with the staff and had a long meeting with Professor Dumbledore. They weren’t too discreet when they walked the corridors, and it wasn’t hard to listen to their conversations if you wanted to. Being a prefect, Lily had paid close attention to what was going on, and she hadn’t liked one bit what she’d heard.

It seemed than quite a few of the twelve governors weren’t keen on providing a magical education to Muggle-born children. Only a couple of them were strongly against it, though; the others seemed to want to have Muggle-borns pay tuitions to attend Hogwarts.

.

Lily had read in Hogwarts: A History that the four Founders of the school prided themselves on providing a quality education for everyone, no matter their social status. ‘Tuition’ and ‘Hogwarts’ were two words never used in the same sentence until now. The uniforms, books and other supplies had to be bought, but everything else was free of charge. The Ministry of Magic paid the teachers their salary, and rich, powerful wizarding families made donations to the school. The use of House Elves played a great role too, and although Lily felt a bit uncomfortable with the fact they weren’t paid, she knew it helped support the policy of the Founders about a free education.

The ‘Muggle-born bashing’, as she called it, was becoming bad enough amongst the students, and it would surely get out of hand if it were known that the Governors themselves were being unnecessarily narrow-minded.

That was the reason Lily was looking for Howard Clint after the end of lessons. Owing to the preparations for the Halloween Feast, the weekly Prefect Meeting had been rescheduled for tomorrow, and it was absolutely fine with Lily: if she could convince Howard today, the Muggle-born issue would be addressed tomorrow. Although Howard didn’t have a drop of Muggle blood in his veins, it was his duty as Head Boy to stand up against unjust discrimination and harassment. The only glitch in Lily’s argument was that the discrimination and harassment were quite insidious and nearly impossible to prove. All the known ‘victims’ refused to testify, fearful of reprisals. Lily had comforted quite a number of young Muggle-born girls since she had been appointed a Prefect; they seemed to be the favourite targets since they weren’t likely to challenge their adversaries to a duel after being insulted. And Lily was sure that the students suffering the worst abuses kept quiet and would never approach a Prefect.

Lily shrugged off these discouraging thoughts and kept looking for Howard.

She found him in the Entrance Hall. He was busy directing three fifth year Prefects, showing them with his wand exactly where he wanted the enchanted skeletons to be hung. It was a tricky business since the Fixing spells were applied on strategic bones so that the skeletons wouldn’t fall apart once they were hung high on the walls.

Howard was surprised to see her, since he knew how much she hated decorating the rooms for special occasions.

"Come to hang or to be hung?" he joked.

"Neither." Lily frowned at the walls covered with spider-webs. She hated Halloween. "I’d like to talk to you for a moment. Somewhere private if possible. I trust you can leave your diligent workers alone for a while."

Just as she finished her sentence, the skeleton the three Prefects had been carefully levitating lost its left leg, which fell on the stone floor with a clatter.

Howard sighed. "All right you lot, go and check on the pumpkins in the Great Hall. I have to leave for a while. We’ll carry on with the skeletons when I come back."

Lily took him to the small room used to ‘park’ the first years before the Sorting ceremony. No one ever came in here and they would be guaranteed privacy.

**********************************

Eating her pumpkin pie that evening, Lily found it hard to join in with the merry mood of her schoolmates. Her conversation with Howard hadn’t been a total disaster, but she had failed. Howard, in his gentle but firm Head Boy voice, had told her that he couldn’t bring up the Muggle-born issue as there was no concrete evidence of them being treated differently to the others. He was sure that it was nothing to worry about anyway. Lily knew him well and she guessed he wasn’t being completely honest, but he had refused to reconsider his decision when she asked. She told herself she wouldn’t be angry with him: he was right about the lack of evidence. Besides, she had tested the waters with the other Prefects during the past few months, and none of them seemed too keen to broach the subject.

Hogwarts seemed to be in blissful denial, Lily thought sombrely as she looked around the Great Hall. Every one seemed to be having fun tonight. Even the teachers were relaxed, and they laughed readily at the students’ antics.

Lily moved her eyes back to her slice of pumpkin pie. She had been staring at it morosely for a while when a hand on her shoulder made her jump. She turned in her seat and saw James standing close to her, a smile on his face. He jerked his head toward the doors, not speaking the question she wouldn’t have heard with all the noise around them. Lily nodded and they left the hall together.

They didn’t go far though, and sat down on the porch under the lantern, as they had done nearly two months ago. It was chillier than back in September, and the lantern - transfigured into an unfriendly-looking pumpkin for the occasion - was casting an eerie light on the front steps this time.

"You know, you never told me why you don’t like Halloween, Lily," James said conversationally as he reclined against the wall.

"Maybe because you never asked." Lily cast a warming charm on her and James’ robes to keep the cold away and conjured a small blue fire she set in front of them. With that and the comfort of the strong shoulder she was leaning against, Lily felt quite cosy.

"Well, I’m asking you now."

"There isn’t a particular reason. I’ve never liked it for as long as I can remember, and I’m even a little afraid of it."

James chuckled. "You, afraid of dancing skeletons and grimacing giant pumpkins? I would never have guessed."

"Don’t be silly. I can dismember skeletons and smash pumpkins quicker than Sirius can hex Snape. It’s just that the possibility of the dead walking the Earth for a night doesn’t agree with me. I think it’s Death I’m afraid of, actually."

James put a reassuring arm around her shoulders. "You’re not going to die anytime soon Lily, and certainly not on a Halloween night," he said gently.

"I know. There are three hundred and sixty four other days for me do die on, so I suppose I can safely say I have a very slim chance of leaving this world on the thirty-first of October."

"We’re too young to be talking about death," James chided. "Here, I’ve got something to cheer you up."

He delved his free hand into his pocket and took out a white paper bag with three big Bs printed in red on it.

"James! You sneaked into Hogsmeade again!" Lily reprimanded sternly. But she wasn’t able to keep her façade for long, and broke into a broad smile. "Did you take some ‘Autumn Fantasies’?" she asked eagerly, snatching the bag from his hands. "Oh, I could kiss you right now. In fact, I will." And she gave him a quick peck on the cheek, not caring that she was acting like a ten years old. Besides, she knew that James didn’t mind, since he was laughing and his eyes were twinkling.

Lily opened the bag and fished out the two large brioches for James and herself.

"Now, that’s what I call a proper treat," she said, her mouth full. "Pumpkin pie is good but it doesn’t compare with Belinda’s creations."

James laughed again. "You can have mine if you want. I’ve never been too fond of the ‘Autumn’ ones."

Lily shook her head, laughing too. "I want to be able to fit through the portrait hole when we go back to the Tower. Which one is your favourite, anyway?"

"The Winter ones. I’ve always been a hopeless case where chocolate is involved."

"The ‘Winter Gourmandises’ are good too," Lily agreed, licking fig cream from her finger.

"I guess I have to eat my brioche then, since you don’t want it." James sighed.

Lily snorted. "You say that as if it were torture to do so, you poor delicate thing."

They ate their brioches in silence for a while before Lily decided to ask a question she had been tossing and turning in her head for quite some time now.

"James, do you think you could teach me how to block and dodge curses like you do?"

The question had come so out of the blue that James nearly choked on his brioche. "What?"

"I know we did that in class at the beginning of the year, but I’m no good at it," Lily went on. "I went to see Howard for his first duel in the Competition and I was really impressed. It was beautiful to watch. It’s too late to enrol in the Club now, and I thought that maybe you could teach me…" she faltered and grew hesitant. "But if you don’t want to or if you don’t have time it’s okay."

Lily’s head was resting on his shoulder and James twisted his neck to look at her. "Is it important to you, Lily?" he asked.

The flickering of the blue fire gave his eyes the most bizarre expression and Lily gulped. "Well I… I mean … it would be useful if I ever have to defend myself, you know … in case I meet some unfriendly wizard who will want to … to..." She realised she was babbling and shut her mouth.

"Is it important to you, Lily?" James repeated quietly.

Lily looked away from his gaze with difficulty and fixed her eyes on the fire. Her ‘yes’ was barely whispered but James heard her.

"We can start tomorrow if you want. We’re playing Ravenclaw in the morning but we can meet in the Duelling classroom after lunch. I’ll ask Raven about it."

"What about the Prefect Meeting?"

"It’s scheduled for five, we’ll have time."

Silence re-settled itself between the two friends, and it was Lily who broke it again.

"James?"

"Yes, Lily?"

"Thank you."

"You’re welcome."

**************************************

TBC….

Chapter 8 : Tombe la neige

"Do you want to stop?"

Panting, Lily looked up. She was sprawled in a rather undignified position on the cold floor of the Duelling classroom, and she groaned as she sat up. "I think that would be a wise decision," she said. "Your last batch of hexes nearly finished me off."

"Well, you’re still in one piece aren’t you?" James smiled and pulled Lily up.

"One sweaty piece you mean," she said, brushing back a damp lock of red hair from her sweaty forehead.

"One sweaty piece," he admitted with a grin, withdrawing her wand from his pocket and handing it to her.

The door opened just as Lily was about to perform a Freshening charm on herself, and Raven stepped into the classroom.

"I see Mr Potter still hasn’t managed to send you to the Hospital Wing, Miss Evans."

There was no mockery or gentle teasing in his tone, he was just stating a fact. Come to think of it, Lily had never seen him smile a genuine smile; he always looked so serious and stern… The fact that he never wore anything but black robes didn’t help either.

"Let’s just hope it will stay that way," Lily answered, a bit uneasily. Raven had never come into his classroom during her and James’ little sessions, and she was wondering how they could make an exit without being rude. But she needn’t have worried.

"You should go and change, Miss Evans," Raven said, his gaze sweeping down her dirty duelling uniform. "I need to discuss something with Mr Potter."

Lily threw a curious glance at James as she turned on her heels. He didn’t look thrilled at this unexpected turn of events. Promising herself she would try to question him later on, she made her way to a door situated to the right of the main entrance to the classroom. As she opened it, she wondered not for the first time how many enchantments had been needed to create the sizeable girls’ changing room that could be found behind it. By all rights she should have found herself in the corridor. The boys’ was situated on the other side of the entrance door, and both rooms had been added after the students had received their duelling uniforms.

Lily closed the door behind her. The room was narrow and quite bare. With its rows of pegs and wood benches lined up against the wall, it could have passed for a changing room you could find in any Muggle school had it not been for the rather unusual absence of shower stalls. Much to their delight, the students were allowed to perform Freshening charms on themselves to save time. It wasn’t as relaxing as a shower, but it was at least as efficient.

There was a huge full-length mirror standing on the wall opposite the door, and Lily walked up to it. Trying to stay objective, she studied herself, and despite her sweaty face and dirty uniform, she liked what she saw. The uniform was white (and very prone to getting dirty upon hitting the ground) and felt like a second skin; in fact it looked much like the fencing attire Muggles wore, except that no mask was needed. Lily was never one to worry too much about appearances, but she thought that the month she had spent training with James had shaped her figure nicely.

She waved her wand in a complicated pattern and watched in the mirror as her uniform returned to pristine white, and her skin and hair became dry and clean again. Her skill with charms had allowed her to tweak the spell a bit, and her hair now smelled of crushed raspberries. She brought a strand to her nose and smiled in appreciation. She hadn’t liked the apple scent of last week, but this one was perfect.

She turned away from the mirror and walked to the place where she had left her school uniform. Her skirt, blouse and jumper were neatly folded on the bench, and her shoes and socks carefully arranged underneath. It was a habit of hers that her clothes always had to be folded and ordered. Her room at home could be quite messy, but there would never be a stray sock or a wandering shirt anywhere.

As she slowly started to change she wondered what she was going to do until dinner. It was Tuesday, and she usually spent the afternoon the sixth year Gryffindors had free with Marian.

But her friend had gone to Hogsmeade to see Belinda Browning once more, and Lily didn’t expect her to return until nightfall. Granted the sun set quite early in early December, but it wasn’t even two o’clock, and she had at least three hours before her.

As she bent to put her shoes on she noticed a bruise starting to show on her shin, an unwelcome reminder of her close encounter with one of the classroom chairs during that last batch of curses James had thrown at her. He was becoming harder on her with each session, something she didn’t mind. The first lesson had been a bit awkward; it had seemed as if he had been afraid to hurt her. He didn’t have any qualms now, although she could see he was still being a bit cautious.

Lily searched under the bench for her tie before remembering she had put it on the top of her robes on the peg. It only took her a few more seconds until she was finished with her dressing.

She gave herself a once-over in the mirror to check if anything was amiss, and when she was satisfied, went back into the classroom. James was still there, leaning against one of the window frames, staring outside. Raven was nowhere in sight. His tie was loose and the first button of his shirt undone. Messy hair and glasses slightly askew completed the picture. Lily’s first thought upon seeing him like that was that he looked like he had just had a good snogging session, and she immediately slapped herself mentally for it. She did not need to think of him engaged in activities such as snogging. It was bad enough she’d been nearly drooling - along with most of the other girls - the first time she had seen him in his tight duelling uniform… Another slap. She didn’t need to go there either.

Taking advantage of the fact that he was still unaware of her presence, she took her time to observe him. He was reasonably handsome… alright, he was quite handsome, and his gaze had a way of making a girl feel weak at the knees; it shouldn’t be allowed to be so … so … entrancing. Add to that the fact that it was pretty obvious he was a clever and powerful wizard, and you had a nice little package no girl at Hogwarts would mind receiving.

Of course, Lily was not noting these things because she saw him as a potential boyfriend. Of course not. It wasn’t a crime to admit that one of your friends wasn’t hard on the eye. What did Marian call that again? Oh yes, ‘completely detached and objective appreciation’. Nothing wrong with that.

As she stepped a bit closer to him, Lily noticed that his expression was gloomy and that he was glaring rather than staring at the view the window offered.

"James?"

James started and whipped his wand from his pocket in a flash, ready to throw a curse. He relaxed when he saw a shocked Lily standing a few feet away from him. "Sorry," he muttered, lowering his wand. "I’m a bit nervous these days."

"What did Raven want?" Lily asked, still a bit shocked from his extreme reaction.

"You wouldn’t believe it." James gave a short laugh, but there was no mirth in it.

"Try me."

James pocketed his wand and walked to the door. Lily followed; they knew they had to get out before the afternoon classes began.

"Our dear teacher wanted to know what I was doing for the holidays. A commendable, if not slightly suspicious concern on his part."

"You don’t like him, do you?"

James sighed as he closed the heavy door. "It’s his mysterious ways I don’t like. He’s always sweeping down the corridor in his black robes, trying to look broody and intimidating. He looks like an overgrown bat doing that, if you ask me."

Lily chuckled. "An overgrown bat? Give him some credit. Snape looks like an overgrown bat when he’s prowling about on his Prefect’s rounds. Raven’s too attractive to look like a bat."

James was appalled. "Attractive?!" he spluttered. "You find him attractive?!"

"Well, you have to admit that -"

"I don’t have to admit anything! Have you seen him when he’s angry, Lily? No? Well I have, and he looks like a bloody psychopath. It’s not a pretty sight."

"You don’t need to get all worked up like that. I don’t trust him any more than you do. But there’s no point in denying that he’s attractive."

James was about to cut in again, but Lily didn’t let him.

"Don’t worry though." She patted him comfortingly on the shoulder. "A lot of girls find you attractive too."

"I don’t care about -"

"Of course you care, James. Boys care about things like that. Case closed. Now, what about those holidays of yours?" Lily hoped he would accept the change of subject; she had a favour to ask him and it wouldn’t do if he decided to sulk for the rest of the day..

James was still a bit ruffled from the ‘attractive argument’ but answered all the same, albeit somewhat gruffly. "Nothing special, I’m going home. What about you?"

"Same."

They walked in silence for a bit, and Lily started to twist the Pet Tracker nervously in her pocket. They were getting close to the portrait of the Fat Lady, and she had to ask him now. It had seemed so simple when she planned it in Herbology that morning…

"What is it Lily?"

Lily jumped. "What?"

James nodded towards her pocket. "You’re fidgeting. You always fidget when you’re nervous about something."

"Nervous? I’m not nervous." Lily smiled brightly, hastily removing her hand from her pocket. "I was just thinking about something."

They turned a corned and the portrait hole came into view. Damn, too late for the indirect and insidious approach. Oh well, here goes nothing…

"Do you have a date for the Winter Ball, James?" she asked, knowing very well he didn’t thanks to subtle questioning of Peter. The boy was decidedly a mine of information.

James faltered in his steps. "What?"

Lily chanced a glance at him and saw that he was looking at her in a most peculiar way. "Do you have a date for the ball?" she repeated.

"I don’t," he answered slowly. "The boys and I have decided to go dateless. There’ll be certain things that we’ll need to take care of and we don’t want to be stuck with dates."

The portrait hole was only a few feet away. It was time for something drastic.

"Oh, well, I suppose you wouldn’t want to take me then…"

As Lily had expected, James stopped abruptly. Complete bewilderment could be read on his face. Complete bewilderment and something else too. But intent on reciting her little speech from memory, Lily didn’t notice.

"I wouldn’t be a burden though, you know. I’ll have some things that will need to be taken care of too; you’d be free to roam about with the boys."

The change in James’ countenance was so subtle that Lily didn’t notice it. Only the observant but often overlooked guardian of Gryffindor Tower, the Fat Lady, saw the brief flashes of anger and then resignation pass across his handsome face.

"Then why don’t you go alone too?" he asked a bit coldly.

"Er… well, Howard has been asking me repeatedly to go with him, but I can’t. If I tell him I’m going with someone else, he’ll be disappointed but he’ll let it go. But if I show up without a date, it will seem suspicious and he’ll be angry. I still have some hope of bringing up the Muggle-born bashing issue and I can’t afford to have him angry with me."

"What ‘things’ do you need to take care of during the ball?"

Lily hadn’t planned on telling him that much, but things were not going as expected. "It’s about Marian," she whispered, although the hallway was deserted. "You’re one of the few who knows what happened this summer and how she doesn’t need to take another blow. She’s been ranting about the merits of her Charms tutor, Gregory Wentworth. I think she’s infatuated with him, and she’s going with him to the ball."

"Your point is?" James interrupted impatiently.

"My point is I found him snogging some Hufflepuff girl in a dark corner the other day!" Lily exclaimed furiously. "That boy is only going to end up hurting Marian very badly, and I need to look after her the night of the ball. I’ve made a few inquiries, and I found out that Wonderboy invariably tries to put the moves on a girl whenever pumpkin juice and butterbeer are flowing. It’s so easy to slip a drop of some potion or other in your date’s goblet. I’ll need to watch the bastard carefully. If all goes well, I’ll catch him red-handed, and Marian won’t suffer too much."

"Then why don’t you watch him from Howard’s side? He and Wentworth are such great friends."

"I’ve thought of that already. But I can’t… As you said, you have some duties towards your date. Howard will expect dances, walks outside and private conversations. All of that is highly incompatible with careful watching. Plus, he would notice straight away if my attention wanders."

Lily clearly saw the flash of anger passing across his eyes this time.

"I see… so you prefer asking good ol’ James. James who is always here when you need him. James who always helps. Of course he won’t ask you for dances, walks outside or private conversations; why would he? It’s so simple and easy to ask him!"

James was ranting.

Lily had never heard him do that before. She didn’t know what was worse - the ranting or the incredibly angry tone under which she could hear hurt. What had she said for him to get into that state? She couldn’t see any reason why he should get so worked up.

"But James, I thought you said you didn’t want a normal date because you had things you needed to do. It’s exactly what I want too. It would be a deal between friends. After all, I did the same for you once. Remember when you asked me to go to that fair in Hogsmeade so you wouldn’t have to go with Emma Rowland?"

Surprised that she had just interrupted him in the middle of his tirade, James blurted out, "But that was fourth year!"

"So?"

James looked at her for a moment, but he did not seem to see her at all, and his eyes were unfocused. It was unnerving. She couldn’t read anything in their dark blue depths, but it wasn’t because he was shielding his emotions from her. It was because there just was nothing in them.

"So nothing," he said softly. Then he blinked and snapped back to reality. "I won’t go to that ball with you Lily. I’m sorry. I can’t see why Howard Clint would be so angry if you decided to go alone anyway. I’ve never seen him angry with you."

"Oh." Lily really didn’t know what else to say. She wasn’t angry, just shocked. It was the first time James had refused her something she wanted from him. He always came round after some persuasion. "Alright then."

James looked at her strangely. " ‘Alright then’?"

Lily nodded. "I think I’ll manage." She then turned towards the portrait and gave the password.

"Lion’s lair."

Once she was in the common room, she realised James hadn’t followed her.

"You’re not coming?"

"No, I just wanted to walk you back to the common room. I have an appointment with Dumbledore."

Lily refrained from asking what it was about; she knew she wouldn’t get an answer.

"I’ll see you later then."

His answer was muffled by the screeching sound of the portrait swinging shut on its hinges. Clearly, the fifth year prefects in charge of the greasing had forgotten to do their jobs yet again. Sighing, she took out her wand and performed a quick charm. It would do the trick for a while.

The common room was deserted, as the other years were in their afternoon classes. Marian was in Hogsmeade, Beth and Amy must be planning their precious ball somewhere, and the boys … well, Merlin knew where they were. She collapsed into a comfortable chair and murmured a lazy ‘incendio’ to light the fire. It was rather chilly in the castle in December.

She couldn’t believe how fast the time had flown: the Christmas holidays were less than a week away and she would soon find herself back in the Muggle world again. It was funny how she felt she didn’t belong there anymore. She had her family, who always welcomed her when she came back - with the notable exception of her sister Petunia. But she never felt quite at home any more in the pretty house in Hertfordshire. Although she loved the place very dearly, she couldn’t call Hogwarts her home either. In fact, she felt as if she were in limbo, waiting for the time when she would finally settle somewhere for good, with someone if possible.

She’d had the ‘Raspberry Jam Dream’ quite often since the beginning of the year, and she knew that was what she wanted and needed. But it was what it was: a dream, at least for now.

Her case was not totally hopeless, though. She was a good student, and for the most part, liked what she was learning; she had friends…

Speaking of friends, she would have to talk to Howard at dinner. James was right: he wouldn’t be too offended if she told him she was going to the ball alone. Marian’s well-being was very important to her, and she was going to make sure that nasty bastard Wentworth wouldn’t endanger it.

There was also the ‘Remus case’. Lily still didn’t know what to do about that. Peter had held his tongue as promised, and none of the other boys knew that she knew. Should she interfere in their affairs? Normally she wouldn’t; she was curious, but not a compulsive snoop like that Rita Skeeter from Slytherin. But there was the issue of the boys’ safety. She had discovered that all four beds were empty on the nights of the full moon. It could only mean that Remus had company wherever he was kept in confinement. It was utter madness on the boys’ part. Unless they took steps to ensure their protection…

A tapping on the window closest to her shook Lily from her thoughts. Puzzled, as she wasn’t expecting any mail, she opened the iron latch and found a big white owl waiting on the stone ledge. She recognised it instantly: it was the bird the pet shop in Diagon Alley used each year to send her the ‘Protection’ package for her cat. Cléobulle wasn’t a magical species, and since you never knew what he could end up swallowing whilst at Hogwarts, he required some kind of special protection that had to be renewed yearly.

Lily took the little package and the owl flew away immediately. Well, it would give her something to do... She decided to go and check to see if Cléobulle was in the dormitory, without much hope. At least she had the Pet Tracker now.

As expected, she didn’t find her cat in the dorm. She still made the necessary preparations, which didn’t take long. Once she had fished the special metal bucket out from under her bed and filled it with water from the never-empty jug each dorm was provided with, she opened the package and sprinkled the fine powder it contained into the cold water. She muttered the incantation she had learned by heart four years ago, and the water started to tremble gently.

There, the bath would be ready by the time she found her wayward cat.

She took the velvet bracelet out of her pocket, and not quite sure about what to do with it, she passed it around her wrist. What had he told her again? To hold the charm in her palm? It seemed about right, and she closed her fingers around the shiny black marble.

Nothing happened.

Damn, how very Howard to give her a gift without the instructions. She racked her brain for a few minutes, trying to remember every wizarding object she had come into contact with since she’d started at Hogwarts, comparing the way they worked. It didn’t take her long to decide what she should do.

She closed her eyes simply said, "Cléobulle" in a clear voice. She smiled as she felt the marble getting warm in her palm; there had been no need for instructions after all.

The lids of her closed eyes were like the blank screens you found in Muggle cinemas, and soon a picture appeared against them. She had no trouble in finding what she wanted. The black coat of Cléobulle stood out quite vividly against the bright orange of the chair he was sleeping in. The little devil was spending the afternoon in the Divination classroom! A classroom which appeared to be empty for the moment.

Lily didn’t fancy walking all the way up to the North Tower and back, but she had already prepared the protective solution and didn’t have a choice.

***

Lily precariously opened the trapdoor and suppressed a grimace as she caught the heady scent of the incense that seemed to be perpetually burning in the classroom. Old Professor Trelawney didn’t to want to abandon his touring of the East, where he was happily predicting disasters to whoever required his services, and his daughter seemed to be at Hogwarts to stay. She had redecorated the classroom to her own tastes, draping chintz cloths over the lamps and ‘dressing’ the windows with nearly opaque curtains, everything in the same tones of dark red. Strangely enough the atmosphere wasn’t oppressive, even with the ever-burning fire and the incense, but rather stuffy and made anyone drowsy in less than a minute. Lily hated the place.

She spotted Cléobulle close to the fire. He was still asleep in the orange chair and seemed very much at home.

She was about to cross the room to collect him when she heard the unwelcome sound of metal clinking: Trelawney’s precious jewellery.

"What can I do for you, my dear?" the cricket-like woman asked in her misty voice. "Is your Inner Eye troubling you?"

Lily tried not to snort at the ludicrous idea of her ‘Inner Eye’ ever troubling her. She greatly doubted she even had an ‘Inner Eye’ in the first place. "I’m just here to pick up my cat, Professor."

Trelawney’s eyes grew wider - if that was possible - behind her glasses. "Your cat?" she said in an agitated voice. "This is your cat?" She began wringing her hands together causing her bracelets to clink madly. "Yes, yes, take him away, he shouldn’t stay in my classroom, he disrupts the balance of energies. Take him away!"

"But why didn’t you throw him out before if he disturbed you?" Lily asked, puzzled.

Trelawney looked at her as if she had lost her mind. "Throw him out?" she screeched, her voice no longer misty. "You don’t throw black cats out of a room if you want to live a long and serene life!"

Lily goggled. Even she hadn’t thought Trelawney could be so far gone that she would freak out like that. Her teacher was now looking fearfully at her cat as if he were some kind of demon coming straight from hell. For his part, Cléobulle - now awake and languidly stretching - was surveying the scene with an obvious disinterest. Lily tried to hide her grin as she walked up to her cat and picked him up from the chair.

Seeing that the ‘thing’ was under control, Trelawney calmed visibly. "Well, of course you didn’t know about the danger he represents, dear," she said. "We only study cats and their use in Divination in Seventh year. But do be careful around him, dear, I wouldn’t trust him if I were you."

The grin threatening to become a chuckle, Lily made her escape hastily. Going down the ladder with Cléobulle was tricky, but she managed, and she was soon laughing to herself in the empty corridors. Wait until she told Marian…

***

Cléobulle knew what was going to happen to him as soon as Lily opened the door of the dormitory. Brimming with magic, the solution was now bubbling, and had turned to a shocking pink colour.

"There, sweetheart, we’ll have a nice little bath now. Remember how we take one every year?"

Cléobulle remembered only too well and frantically clawed his way out of his mistress’ arms. Once free he made a beeline for the nearest bed and squeezed under it as fast as he could.

Lily tutted and pulled her wand out. "I’ll have you know that I’m highly disappointed in you, Cléobulle," she said conversationally, kneeling on the ground and peering under the bed. She could see his eyes glowing like two small lamps in the darkness. "I had hoped we could do things differently this year, but alas…"

There was a noise and the door of the dormitory opened suddenly. Cléobulle shot from under the bed and flew like an arrow toward his salvation. He was Petrified just as the tips of its whiskers brushed the door.

There was a soft laugh and the newcomer picked up the poor cat from the ground. "I see your aim is as good as ever, Lily."

Lily smiled. "I do my best." She then got up and brushed some dust off her robes. "What are you doing here so early, Marian? I wasn’t expecting you until much later."

Marian put the stiff Cléobulle under her left arm and closed the door with the other. "Belinda had an important appointment and I didn’t stay long." She walked over to her bed and dropped her school bag and Cléobulle on it. The heavy bag didn’t bounce, and neither did Cléobulle. "Merlin, Lily! What have you been feeding this cat? I swear he is heavier than Hogwarts: a History!"

"I know. I had to carry him all the way from the Divination classroom, and I could hardly feel my arms when we arrived at the portrait."

"The Divination classroom?" Marian lifted a brow.

"Long story, but you should enjoy it." Lily picked up Cléobulle from the bed and brought him to the water bucket. She looked into his frantic eyes and sighed; he was a very resentful creature, and she was sure she wouldn’t see him for a week after this was finished. Well, it was for his own good anyway, she thought as she lowered him carefully into the water. The solution was activated as soon as Cléobulle was immersed up to his neck into it. It started to sizzle and little sparks began to fly everywhere. The poor dear had to marinate in there for quite a while.

Lily went back to Marian, who was waiting expectantly on her bed, and made herself comfortable.

"It all started with that gift Howard gave me for my birthday…"

***

By the time diner came around, Cléobulle was Unpetrified, charmed dry and already sulking somewhere in the castle.

It was the same scene every year since she had got him, and Lily wasn’t worried. She was thinking of what she would tell Howard. She spotted him at the Ravenclaw table, and keeping her eyes trained on him, she tried several different conversations in her head. When he finally looked up from his apple pie and noticed her staring at him, she had not yet found a suitable one.

She was rather surprised to see him get up and nod toward the doors, silently asking her to follow him out of the hall. Marian was recounting Trelawney’s encounter with Cléobulle to the boys, and Lily was able to slip out of her seat unnoticed. She wished she could have stayed a little longer though, as Marian always did great imitations of her least favourite teacher.

"What is it, Howard?" Lily asked when she arrived in the Entrance Hall.

"I wanted to talk to you about Gregory Wentworth," Howard whispered, looking around him to see if anyone was eavesdropping.

Lily’s ears perked up. "What about him?" She tried to keep her voice casual.

"Gregory is a good friend of mine but he … well, he has a certain reputation with … with…"

"With girls?" Lily provided helpfully.

Howard nodded.

"Yes, with girls. I usually try not to interfere as it’s none of my business, but I couldn’t help but notice he was rather taken with your friend Marian."

"Yes, she happily announced to me she’s going to the ball with him, even though she used to hate balls and stuff."

Howard cleared his throat. "As Head Boy, I was made aware of Marian’s state and situation, and I’m a bit worried. I don’t think Gregory has strong feelings for her, but I know that it won’t prevent him from being a bit forward with her; he doesn’t know about last summer, you see. There have been previous cases of a relatively harmless potion being slipped into drinks during events such as feasts and parties and I … I hope you won’t be angry if I were to say that Marian could fall victim to what is normally nothing more than a little fun, because Gregory would never go as far as sleepi- he would never go too far. But your friend doesn’t need someone playing with her like that…"

Lily blinked. It was almost the same little speech she had made in front of James earlier in the hope of enlisting his help. And it was quite unexpected to hear it from Howard’s mouth now.

"I’m worried about her too," she said. "She seems oblivious to any of his shortcoming and she won’t listen to me when I try to warn her. I know she will be terribly disappointed when she finally realises what kind of boy he is. And the worst thing is that she’ll blame herself for her temporary blindness."

"I know, that’s why I wanted to tell you my plan. But I must warn you, I don’t think you’ll like it. Hell, I don’t like it, I can’t even believe I thought of it."

Lily told him to go on anyway, she would do anything for Marian.

"Well, I know for a fact that they haven’t even got as far as kissing yet, and -"

"Wait a minute, how can you be sure?"

"He would have told me otherwise, he’s never discreet about these things. Anyway, I also happen to know that he’s planning to use an Anti-Inhibition potion on her at the ball before dragging her to a deserted corner. It’s his usual tactic. Now, I think that the best way for Marian to come out of this dangerous infatuation is for her to witness with her own eyes that, as far as Gregory is concerned, any comely witch has her chance with him."

Lily nodded without much enthusiasm. Although she agreed with his theory, the ‘with her own eyes’ part was going to be difficult.

Howard went on. "You can’t roam the castle day and night with Marian in tow in the hopes of catching Gregory snogging in an empty classroom."

Another nod from Lily.

"So it leaves us with the option of you being the comely witch that will snag Gregory’s attention."

Had she heard him right? Was the boy in front of her some Slytherin stuffed with Polyjuice Potion? "I beg your pardon?"

"Don’t get offended, it’s not as bad as it sounds. You have to hear me out."

"It’d better be worth it."

"It will be. What I propose is that you accompany me to the ball. It will look perfect: two friends from Ravenclaw dating two friends from Gryffindor. We’ll stay close to Marian and Gregory, watching them without being too obvious about it. We act the moment we see Gregory uncork the vial. You’ll have to find a way to take Marian’s goblet from her and to drink it right in front of her." Howard raised his hand to prevent Lily from objecting. "Don’t worry, I’ll have given you a potion that will neutralise the effects of Gregory’s prior to the ball; you’ll only have to pretend you’re suddenly finding him quite attractive. He’s not one to refuse the advances of a pretty girl, and he’ll drag you onto the dance floor or into a secluded corner. You’ll hand me the goblet before you go with him, and being suspicious of the unexpected behaviour of my date, I’ll examine the rest of the juice you’ll have left in the bottom. Marian isn’t stupid, and she’ll work out everything. It’ll be a shock, but she won’t be angry with you, because she’ll think you’re under the influence of the potion. I doubt that she’ll spare Gregory a glance afterward."

"That’s quite Slytherin-ish of you, Howard," Lily said after a moment of silence. "May I ask why you’d be willing to do this?"

"You may. I have two reasons. Firstly, as Head Boy, I feel concerned about the well-being of a student, and I will add that my concern is amplified by the fact that this student is your best friend. Secondly, it offers me a way to do a good deed without antagonising one of my close friends. I don’t approve of his ways, but he’s never caused any damage to this day, and I would hate to lose his friendship, which would have happened had I interfered overtly in his affairs."

"Yes, I was right," Lily mused. "You’re being quite Slytherin-ish about the whole thing."

"Well, a Head Boy has to have many qualities."

Lily would never have thought she’d ever see Perfect Howard smile a naughty smile, but there it was… It seemed that today was a day of surprises: she had unexpectedly failed to get James to enrol in one of her little schemes for the first time, she had collected the priceless memory of Trelawney frightened out of her misty wits by a sleeping Cléobulle, and to top it all, she was about to get enrolled in a very unorthodox scheme which wasn’t of her own invention but which had been concocted by the Head Boy himself.

"I’ll have to keep that in mind if I want to be Head Girl next year. I suppose we can call ourselves ‘partners in crime now’, can we?"

"I suppose we can." Howard chuckled.

"Alright then, partner, we’ll have to meet sometime before Sunday to go over all the details."

"How about Friday after the Prefect meeting?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Well in that case, I’ll see you then," Howard said cheerfully before walking away.

The Great Hall had started to empty a short while ago, but Marian was still seated at the Gryffindor table. She had finished eating and was scribbling on a parchment, most likely something about her Potions project.

"You want to head upstairs?" Lily asked when she was close enough.

Marian immediately stood to her feet. "Sure, I was just waiting for you." She stuffed the parchment and self-refilling quill in her pocket, looking speculatively at Lily. "You were gone for quite a long time. Did Howard suddenly become extremely fascinating?"

"I think he’s turning into a Slytherin."

"Well, I must say it’s about time. He needs a bit of that bad boy aura to attract girls. It will give him a dash of sexiness and a touch of mystery."

Lily giggled. "Since when do you think that Slytherins are sexy?"

Marian let her gaze sweep along the Slytherin table before leaving the Hall. "I’ve always thought it. I had a crush on Henry Figg when I was twelve. Too bad he was seventeen and left the school at the end of my second year."

"Henry Figg? As in Henry Figg the son of Arabella Figg, the most famous female Auror?"

"The very same."

"I didn’t even know he was at Hogwarts in our time!" Lily exclaimed, dismayed. She wanted to be as good an Auror as Arabella Figg, and she hoped to obtain an Apprenticeship under her orders after passing her N.E.W.Ts. An acquaintance with her son would have been useful.

"Don’t be so disappointed." Marian could read Lily’s face like an open book, and she tried to comfort her. "He wouldn’t have talked to you anyway: we were lowly second years, not to mention Gryffindors."

"Do you think all the Slytherins really buy that ‘let’s bash the Gryffindors’ crap?"

"Well if they don’t they’re very good at pretending."

"But that’s just it: they’re supposed to be very good at pretending," Lily insisted. "So how can we really know anyway?"

A year ago Marian would have launched herself into a lively tirade on the possible workings of the mysterious Slytherin house. Now she just waved Lily’s question aside as if she couldn’t have cared less.

"Simple: we can’t."

The two friends had talked their way to the common room where they found the fire blazing for the empty chairs and their fellow Gryffindors glued to the tall windows.

Marian gave Lily a big, happy smile and dragged her up to their dormitory. She opened the window wide and stuck her head outside, laughing.

"Look! It’s snowing!" She collected a few snowflakes on her tongue and swallowed them, still laughing. "Stop worrying about setting things right at Hogwarts; come and taste the first snow of the year!"

But Lily wasn’t worrying about house feuds anymore. She was just watching her friend laughing at the window, and she swore to try and keep her as happy as she was now, gathering snowflakes on the tip of her tongue.

***

Author’s notes : I know that the uniform thing is not a Canon fact but I couldn’t resist dressing up the characters with them. James in uniform, tie and first shirt button undone, is one of my weaknesses. I see Harry in uniform too, there must be something with those Potters… J

Next chapter: The Ball at last. Sexy!Howard. Flirting!Lily. Pissed!James. Some snogging. Some pranking. And bad news.

Author’s notes: I’m sorry for the lack of update lately but RL has started to swallow a good deal of my time. The chapter I am posting has not been beta-ed yet but I thought I should post it as soon as I could since it’s been more than a month already. The proper version will be up when my beta sends the chapter back to me. Thank you to all my reviewers, please continue to review; you don’t know how much it helps.

Chapter 9: To drink or not to drink?

‘Can I borrow your mascara, Amy?’

‘Sure, Beth. But don’t forget you said I could use your ‘sparkling moonlight’ eye-shadow…’

‘Do you want to look like paint pots? You don’t need all that make-up!’

‘Oh shut up, Marian. Besides, you can talk! I know you keep some Marie’s Flawless Snow-White powder in your bedside table!’

The voices drifted through the closed bathroom door but Lily didn’t pay attention to them. She had had chosen to stay with her friends to prepare for the ball and had foregone using the Prefects bathroom. Her eyes kept shifting from the mirror in front of her to the small vial resting on the sink.

She was having second thoughts.

The conversation she’d had with Howard had turned out to be more of a pep talk than anything. The ‘Plan’, as she called it, had seemed fine when she’d first heard about it but, during the past week, she had found herself doubting her judgement more and more. Did she have the right to meddle in Marian’s life? Besides she wasn’t even sure she should trust Howard blindly like that…

‘Do you think I should rather wear my hair up instead?’

‘No, those loose ringlets look very good on you, Amy.’

‘Can you charm some powdered glitters in them?’

‘You’d better ask Lily. When she comes out of the bathroom that is,’ Beth added louder so that Lily was sure to hear it.

But Lily was still oblivious, the small vial now clutched in her hand. Howard had said he had made it raspberry flavoured so she could cross off ‘disgusting mixture’ of her ‘Why I shouldn’t drink this’ list.

A pounding on the bathroom door made Lily jump.

"Are you done already?" Marian asked loudly. "I still need to wash my hair."

"I’ll be just a minute!"

She was frantic now. She was always frantic when she hadn’t made up her mind in time, be it about an exam question or real cases like this one. And as always when she had to choose in a hurry she made the wrong choice.

***

"You look very nice, Lily!" Beth exclaimed when she came out of the bathroom.

Lily smiled. She wasn’t a vain person but she knew the dark green robes she was wearing suited her quite well indeed. "Thanks, Beth. You look very nice too."

"I hope you’ll have a compliment for me too when I’m finished!" Marian said before disappearing into the bathroom.

"Could you charm these in my hair so they won’t fall off during the evening?" Amy brandished her box of Star Dust (‘Charmed to match your hair and dress robes!’) like a weapon.

Lily took the box and examined it for a while. "It says it already has a slight charm to ensure that they won’t come off."

"Yes I know. But I’ll need a stronger charm for the activities I intend to engage in tonight." She winked at Beth who wriggled her eyebrows suggestively. At least some people were going to enjoy their evening…

***

An hour later the four Gryffindor girls were ready and closed the door of the dormitory. None of them had dates in their own house. As a matter of fact, they had all managed to snatch seventh year boys and they-at least Beth and Amy- were very proud of it.

The common room was bustling with activity but Lily didn’t see James or the boys. They were probably making sure everything was ready for the ‘Thing’, also know as the famous and overdue prank on the Slytherin. From what she had gathered Slytherin boys would find the hem of their dress robes raising into the air above their heads and quite unwilling to go down again. Canaries were to be involved at some point but Lily was unclear as to the details. Sirius thought the whole thing would be hilarious. Good on him.

"By the way, Lily," Marian said as they went down the great marble staircase, "you left an empty vial on the sink in the bathroom. I didn’t know if you wanted to get rid of it or not so I put it in your drawer."

Lily swallowed and tried to act nonchalant. "Oh, thanks. I didn’t want to throw it away."

Marian’s attention was drawn to something down in the Entrance Hall and she replied distractedly, "Sure."

Following Marian’s gaze, Lily spotted their two Ravenclaw dates for the evening waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs.

She blinked a few times. Was that tall and sexy boy good old Howard Clint? She would never have guessed he’d clean up so nicely. Both him and Gregory Wentworth wore sober black (black was definitely back in fashion with Raven always sporting the colour) but the dress robes were tailored so as to reveal pleasant male attributes such as broad shoulders and narrow hips. If the school robes were cut like that there would have been a suspicious lack of attention in class from the female population.

"Good evening ladies," Howard said gallantly before securing Lily’s hand in his own.

"You certainly look ravishing tonight." Gregory chimed in.

Lily waited for the ‘Cut the crap’ Marian would always throw when males were heavily using compliments à l’eau de rose. Instead her friend blushed prettily and self-consciously smoothed down the front of her robes.

Howard held her back when Marian and her escort started toward the Great Hall’s doors. "Did you drink the potion?" he whispered.

Now was the moment. She could tell him that she wanted to call off the whole operation…

She opened her mouth to answer but a loud voice prevented her from taking the coward way out.

"Lily darling! You certainly are a sight for sore eyes. What with me seeing nothing but the faces of three dunderheads for the past hours…"

"Everything will be alright," she whispered back hurriedly to Howard before turning to watch Sirius coming down the stairs, his three friends in tow.

The four Gryffindor boys were also wearing black, as were most of the boys tonight, she noticed suddenly. It looked like they were all going to a bloody burial.

"I’m so glad I can be of any use to you, Sirius darling. Even if it’s only to soothe your poor eyes." Sarcasm was her friend, she told herself. She had to hide behind it so that no-one would notice the mess her mind was in.

She had to admit that up-close they cut quite an imposing picture. She didn’t know what was the matter with her but she found all the males of her acquaintance suddenly very attractive. Maybe she was into men in black. She already knew about her fondness for a *certain* male in uniform but the black thing was new. And it still made her think of a burial.

She was jerked from her contemplative state when Howard sneaked his arm around her waist. "But it will be my eyes she will soothe tonight, Black," he said mischievously. "And now we must be off, they’ve started the dancing."

He stirred Lily away toward the Great Hall as the first notes of music drifted in the air.

***

Lily had to admit that Howard was a very acceptable partner. She was no expert herself but, as far as she was concerned, someone who did not tread on her toes was ‘ an acceptable partner’. They had made small talk while covertly watching Wentworth holding Marian a little closer than necessary and whirling her around the Hall. Well, at least Howard was watching them. Lily divided her attention equally between watching her friend and examining their surroundings.

Round tables had been disposed on one side of the room to rest your tired feet or to have a nice conversation with friends in front of a glass of pumpkin juice. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were presently getting up from one of the tables. They slithered among the crowd and discreetly exited the Hall.

It bothered Lily that James had seemed to be avoiding her since she had asked him to take her to the ball. She had not exactly felt humiliated or unreasonably angry by his refusal… things had turned out alright for her in the end after all. But she couldn’t see why he had suddenly decided to step off that nice and well-paved road to a closer friendship they had been walking on.

She cast a glance at Marian and saw her laughing at some funny thing Wentworth had just told her. No spiked drink in sight yet.

She then let her gaze wander aimlessly around the room, taking in the other couples dancing, the Governors seated at a special table and merrily downing their Butterbeer, Dumbledore leading Professor McGonagall on the dance floor, the wizarding band playing their strange instruments…What was their name again? Prowling in the Dark? The Dark Rodents? She was sure ‘dark’ was part of the name but couldn’t remember the rest. The musicians, sporting black robes ripped strategically in certain places, were now quite incongruously playing a waltz and they seemed none-too happy about it.

Beth and Amy had been the ones to choose the group but the teachers, or the Board, must have imposed the tame repertoire they were playing tonight. None of the musician played an instrument that could have been part of a classic orchestra but, here they were, playing ‘My sweet witch is baking a pumpkin pie’, a classic you could adapt to any tune. The waltz did not allow lyrics and Lily was thankful for that. She discreetly looked at Howard’s watch and had trouble correctly reading the complicated symbols on it. Whatever the time actually was it couldn’t be very late. It was going to be a long evening…

***

Half an hour later Lily found herself sitting at a table with Marian, Howard and Gregory Wentworth. There had been no talk of drinks yet but Lily’s stomach was knotting quite viciously as she was sure it was only a question of minutes.

When Amy came to drag her away for a moment she felt guiltily thankful for the brief reprieve. Before she went Howard had squeezed her hand reassuringly. She supposed it meant he’d do whatever was necessary if she wasn’t back when It happened.

As it turned out, It happened when she finished adding a double dose of Star Dust to Amy’s dress robes. She was coming back to the table when she saw that Marian was holding a glass of pumpkin juice she didn’t seem too keen on drinking. Marian hated pumpkin juice. It was a bad move on Wentworth’s part and it said a lot about the boy if after nearly four months he still didn’t know what Marian didn’t like.

Perhaps Marian would abandon the offending glass and Lily wouldn’t have to play her little charade…But no, it wasn’t going to be that easy. Marian seemed to succumb to Wenworth’s pitiful imitation of a puppy dog and she was about to take a sip for his sake.

There was no time for thinking and Lily forged ahead.

"Is that pumpkin juice? I’m dying for pumpkin juice. Do you mind?" she said, grabbing the glass out of Marian’s hands and downing half of it in one gulp.

Everything seemed to blur slightly and the noise of the Hall was reduced to a drowsy buzz. Lily blinked slowly to clear her vision but the sound was still dimmed. The very small fraction of her brain that was still functioning told her that she had landed herself in a fine mess.

A hand on her shoulder broke the spell and everything was back to normal in a flash.

"Are you alright, Lily?" Marian asked worriedly.

Lily swallowed. "I’m fine. I just drank too much too fast."

Her brain was now functioning to full regime. Why wasn’t it working? The vision of the thick dark red potion going slowly down the sink like a runny giant slug was still imprinted in her mind. She had been careful to look at Wentworth as she downed the drink but she felt no attraction whatsoever towards the Ravenclaw boy.

Great. Just great. She had ditched Howard’s potion because she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to pretend convincingly in front of Marian and now she would still have to use her meagre acting skills. She looked helplessly at Howard who was watching her like a hawk. She trusted the goblet in his hands and, mentally cringing, turned to Gregory Wentworth.

The next thing she knew she was being seized by the arm and dragged out of the Great hall.

"Sorry to barge in on your little Gryffindor/Ravenclaw interlude but we need your help," Remus said as he led her down a dimly lit corridor.

It was at this moment that the potion started to kick in.

"What?" Lily said distractedly. How had she not noticed that Remus was quite well built before? Quite strong too if the firm grasp he had of her arm was any indication.

She wondered what it would be like to kiss a werewolf. Would it be intense and savage like she had read in some book? Or would Remus’ kind nature overpower the wolf in him?

How wrong could it be to find out? A thrill of excitation ran down her spine.

Remus came to a stop in front of a door and turned to Lily.

"We have a little problem with one of the charms involved for the prank and I was sent out to enlist your help."

He didn’t see the hungry look in Lily’s eyes. Therefore it came as a complete surprise when she pushed him gently against the door. A torch was hung close to the door and, momentarily blinded and confused, he didn’t hear the faint voices coming from the other side.

‘What was that?’

‘Probably just the wind or Peeves.’

‘I wish Remus would hurry up, it’s freezing in here.’

"Lily, what are you-?"

"Shh". Lily stepped close to Remus and placed a finger on his lips.

Remus gulped. Now that Lily was standing in the light with him he saw the look in her eyes. And he knew what kind of look it was too. It was the king of look himself would have while looking at a wayward and helpless human on a full moon night.

The finger on his lips was withdrawn and the hand trailed down until it came to rest on his chest. A bit of wriggling and the fingers slipped inside his dress robes. Oh dear…

Lily the Huntress could feel Remus’ heart beating erratically and she smiled, lifting her other hand and curling it around his neck. She played with his hair, twirling a soft strand around her index finger.

"My little wolf wants to play, doesn’t he?" she whispered coyly in his hear, bringing her body even closer to his in the process.

Remus’ eyes widened in terror. What had she just called him? She couldn’t know, could she? And what had happened to the Lily he knew? She usually wouldn’t be seducing old friends in a dark corridor.

But his mind had to shut down when he felt a soft pair of lips pressing against his own. If only the full moon hadn’t been a mere week away…if only he had been able to rein in the wolf’s hunger…He had felt it stirring the whole evening while watching all the human beings crowding the Great Hall.

James was going to kill him.

There was a loud thud as he swiftly grabbed Lily and slammed her against the door in the same spot he had occupied a second before.

Unlike Lily who barely knew who she was kissing so passionately anymore Remus was very aware of the person whose body was pressed tightly against his.

He let a hand wander under her robes to cup a well-rounded breast, never stopping ravishing her mouth. A mouth that tasted of pumpkin juice and something else. Caught up in what they were doing he didn’t linger on that piece of information.

He heard her gasp as he tightened his hand on her breast and he was about to bend his head to trail kisses down her throat when he felt himself tumbling forward.

A second later he was sprawled on the floor atop a very confused Lily and with three wands at his throat.

"I told you there was someone behind the door, Sirius," James said a bit too calmly.

It was then that Lily passed out and that Remus found himself all alone to do the explaining.

***

When Lily came to a few minutes later she wondered what the hell she was doing in a deserted room when she was supposed to be walking down a corridor with Remus.

Then she realised that the room was not so deserted after all. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were there too. But they were supposed to be preparing that stupid prank. So why was Peter performing a light healing charm on Remus’ bloody nose? Why was Sirius pacing in front of James as if he were guarding some prisoner? She also noticed that Sirius had two wands in his hand: his own and James’.

If she put two and two together she would get a strange result: James had punched Remus in the nose. Sirius had probably stunned James and wisely removed his wand before performing an Enervate. And Peter was vainly trying to stop the light flood of blood running from Remus’ nose. Yes, very strange indeed.

"James, how may times have you told me to think before acting?" Sirius was saying angrily. "And here you go paying no heed to your own advice the first chance you get!"

"That’s not true," James answered sulkily. "Did I punch you when I thought you had made my Invisibility Cloak into a play ball for Lily’s cat?"

"Alright then, the second chance you get," Sirius conceded. "But still-"

"Peter, for Merlin’s sake, stop waving your wand aimlessly around like that!" Remus interrupted exasperatedly. "I’m getting cross-eyed and besides your charms aren’t working."

"Serves you right." Lily heard James mutter.

"What was that, James?" Sirius asked innocently, twirling his wand lazily.

"Nothing."

"Thought so. Now, I didn’t hear you apologising to Remus yet, James."

"I’m sorry Remus. I just thought that a good punch would knock out the err…wolf in you. It was a well-meant punch. Can I have my wand back now Sirius?"

Sirius grudgingly handed him the thin piece of wood.

"Don’t pout like that, Sirius. I’ll let you play the bad Auror again if you’re a good boy." James smirked and pocketed his wand before making his way toward Lily who was trying to sit up on the cold floor. "Are you alright?" he asked, pulling her to her feet. "Remus told us you had probably been drugged."

Lily turned to Remus. "How did you know?"

"From the look in your eyes," Remus lied, bringing his sleeve to his nose to stop the bleeding. He didn’t think that telling her mouth tasted like anti-inhibition potion would go well with James right now.

"Oh". Her brain was pulsing slowly inside her skull. She couldn’t remember what happened after they left the Hall but she did know that she wouldn’t mind kissing Remus.

Her gaze shifted to the tall boy with round glasses standing next to her.

Or James.

A bit of travelling on the right.

Or Sirius.

Back to Remus-still kissable-a bit on the left.

Or Peter.

She would even kiss Snape at this very moment. Or Professor Raven, why not Professor Raven after all?

Her mind had been a bit foggy since she had woken up but now it was very clear again. She had to find Professor Raven.

Lily smiled dreamily. She took her wand out of her sleeve and absentmindedly healed Remus’ nose before heading out for the door. But something wasn’t right. Why couldn’t she walk?

"Not so fast girl. You’re not going anywhere until you tell us what this is all about."

James’ hold on her was too strong for her to break without using magic. And she didn’t want to hurt him; he had such a sexy voice…a very sexy voice. Time for a change of plan…

She turned toward James who seemed to be busy staring at her breasts. Breasts who were a bit too exposed. She didn’t remember lowering the bodice of the robes quite that much. Oh well, no matter…

"Er…James…" Sirius said to his oblivious friend. "I don’t think the potion wore off yet."

Remus too had seen the predatory look coming back in Lily’s eyes.

But it was Peter who performed the Petrificus Totalus that sent Lily falling into James’ arms like a stone. He staggered a bit under the unexpected weight and snapped out of his trance. He then looked suspiciously at Remus. "I don’t remember her neckline being so low at the beginning of the evening."

Remus had the grace to blush. He knew that had James not known that, once it was awaken, he couldn’t contain the wolf in him so close to the full moon he’d be in for another bloody nose.

***

"Be careful, Sirius! Her shoe is going to fall!" Peter hissed as the little group rounded a corner, the Prank forgotten for now.

"Indeed." Said a cold voice in front of them.

James and Sirius nearly dropped Lily’s stiff form in surprise. The bastard moved soundlessly.

Severus Snape took in the scene before him. Potter and Black were carrying the stiff body of a girl with Pettigrew holding a green shoe and Lupin was standing nearby, looking a bit dishevelled. Perfect. He knew the sneer he had automatically put on was one of his best one. Time for a bit of fun…

"Well, well, well, what have we here? The Hogwarts’ Four carrying an unconscious girl to one of their secret hideaways. I wonder how many points I could take off for that…"

"Shut it Snape. We’re bringing Lily to the infirmary," James said none too gently. He had been in a fool mood the whole evening and he wasn’t about to let the Slytherin stand in his way now.

Snape’s sneer faded and he frowned. "What happened to her?’ he asked moving closer to Lily’s body. He leaned forward, trying to have a better look at the funny little light in her opened eyes.

Remus’ hand shot forward and rudely pulled him back. "Don’t you touch her."

Snape ignored him and turned to James. "What happened to her?" he repeated.

"Anti-inhibition potion." James answered shortly. He watched warily as Snape searched for something in his robes but Remus and Peter had their wands at the ready so it was doubtful he’d try something.

Severus saw the wands too and slowly pulled a silver flask out of his pocket. "You can lower you wands, I just want to help. It disgusts me to see potions employed in such a fashion, and I wouldn’t even accuse Gryffindors of such practices." Merlin! He couldn’t remember the last time he’d talked to any of the four boys without throwing in an insult every two words! And now he had just nearly paid them a compliment! What was the world coming to… "Unfreeze her," he ordered.

And he was surprised when they lowered Evans to the floor and did as he asked without a word.

He then scooped down, uncorking his flask, and quickly poured a bit of liquid into Lily’s mouth. He made sure she swallowed all of it before standing up again. "Browning’s multi-function potion," he said. "Every wizard should have a flask on his person."

"Damn it! I think I’m going soft" he whispered angrily to himself as he stormed away.

There was a perplexed silence after his departure.

"I think old Snappy is going soft," Sirius said after a while.

"Who’s going soft?" Lily asked. She was on her feet and felt incredibly good.

"Snape. He just cured you from that potion someone made you drink," Peter answered. "Glad to see you’re better by the way."

"Do you fancy a private snogging session somewhere? Just you and me?" Sirius asked hopefully.

Snogging…snogging…Oh dear…she remembered everything now.

Lily looked at Remus and winced when she saw the wild disarray of his hair. She cleared her throat embarrassingly. "Sorry about …er…you know, what I did back in that corridor."

Of course Remus said it was alright, that she hadn’t been herself. In short he would never mention it again. Dear Remus, a friend after her own heart.

She had to explain-in the vaguest possible way- the Plan because James thought that someone had purposefully drugged her. As they made their way back to the Hall Sirius, Remus and Peter talked about the many things they could do to Wentworth in retaliation but James kept silent.

When he finally opened his mouth it was to ask her for a dance. And she accepted.

James took her hand in his and led her to the dance floor. The boys officially went in search of something to drink but really were going to start the delicate marking of the targets. It wouldn’t do if everyone’s robes were going to float around.

What a waste of an evening, Lily thought dejectedly as she let James guide her steps. Marian was dancing with Wentworth again, grinning like mad; at least she hadn’t been drugged. Howard was talking to the Head Girl but he had sent her a reproachful look when she had come back into the Hall; she’ll have some explaining to do. Lucius Malfoy was seated with the Governors and was glaring at the cheerful dancing couples; she was glad he didn’t seem to notice her.

"Did you go and concoct that stupid scheme of yours because I refused to take you to the ball?" James asked suddenly.

"Not exactly", Lily answered cautiously. She hadn’t told him it really was Howard’s idea and she intended to keep it that way. There already was no lost love between the two and she didn’t need to make it worse. "I would have done it even if you had accepted." She hoped he couldn’t tell she was lying.

"Can you tell me why I’m friends with someone so obviously missing a few sane brain cells again?"

Lily relaxed. This was familiar territory. She smiled innocently. "I don’t know, maybe because you’re missing even more of them than I am. And of course there’s still the fact that I’m irresistible, but you know that by now."

"Oh yes I know. How could I forget with you reminding me every week or so?" James laughed and they twirled a little bit faster.

That damn ‘pumpkin pie’ song was back again but Lily didn’t mind half as much as she did when she had danced with Howard. For one thing she didn’t have to worry about the Plan anymore and for the other James was a really good dancer. The kind of dancer that made you feel as if you were a true proficient yourself. And he could be quite the gentleman when he wanted. ‘Sinfully attractive’ was what came to mind when you thought about him, after ‘insufferable prat’ and ‘arrogant bastard’ of course.

"Why, Mr Potter, I didn’t know you could dance!" she said with a big smile.

"Surprised?"

"Always."

James grinned. "Good."

"Speaking of dancing, do you know the name of the band? I can’t seem to remember it."

"Dark Rodents Prowling in the Dark Night", James answered immediately. "Their music is very…er…new. Their usual one I mean, not the Granny’s Classics they’ve been forced to play tonight."

"I think I might just like those Granny’s Classics," Lily said. "I’m even getting quite fond of that Pumpkin pie one."

And they kept twirling around the room.

Reflecting back on that night, Lily realised she should have known that something was going to happen. Before waltzing dreamily in James’ arms she just knew that it was going to be a bad night. But she had forgotten.

That’s why it was such a shock when Professor Raven took her aside and told her her parents were dead.

That’s why she fainted. Again.

~***~

Next: Christmas far from home for Lily, a kiss, the raspberries return and the truth about Raven.

Author’s notes: Hello! I felt guilty for making you wait such a long time for the last chapter so I’m posting this now. It’s only part a but I hope it will occupy you until next time! Don’t forget to R&R please :) Also I think my Beta might have left me since I haven’t heard from her in three weeks. Would anyone be up to the task and beta read for me?

Chapter 10: Framboises Givrées.

Part a

There was a loud ‘thud’ as Lily shut the lid of her trunk.

Everyone had gone down to the Great Hall for breakfast but Lily relished the first moment of solitude she had since last night.

She walked over to the window and stared at the frozen lands unseeingly.

Dead. They were dead.

It was final and irrevocable.

Oh, she had been worried about them before… She had known that the parents of Muggleborn witches and wizards were easy targets. She had spent many sleepless nights wondering if Hogwarts was the right place for her since the summer.

It would have been so easy to give everything up, to turn her back on the last six years and go back to the blissful anonymity normal life procured. No more Voldemort.

But she hadn’t done it. And it hadn’t mattered in the end.

A car crash. A stupid car crash. Nothing even remotely magical. She wasn’t to blame. They had made sure to drill the thought into her head last night after she had woken up in the Hospital Wing.

But still, she felt guilty.

Guilty because a tiny part of her was relieved she hadn’t indirectly been the cause of their death. Guilty because she didn’t feel anything but emptiness. Guilty because she couldn’t even cry.

She loved them. Oh how she loved them—even Petunia although she was in less than cordial terms with her.

Petunia…her only sister… They should have stood together in this time of grief. They should have tried to put the past behind and re-forge the bond that had united them in their childhood.

But judging from the letter Petunia had sent her-along with another one for the school—she had lost her sister too.

Although only three years older, Petunia was engaged to a beef of a young man called Vernon Dursley and she was going to live with her future parents in laws until the wedding. Lily wasn’t welcome there, even for the brief two weeks of the Christmas holidays.

But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Not yet anyway. When realisation would settle in for good, Lily would feel all the things she didn’t at the moment. Then she would cry at last. Maybe it would break her but in the meantime she was just a shell. A beautiful, fragile shell, as cold as the sea.

She wouldn’t have minded staying at Hogwarts but Madam Weasley had insisted that she shouldn’t be alone after such an ordeal. Lily could tell that the good nurse had been appalled when she had told her that her sister could not take her in. But the old witch had rallied rather well and had said that friends were also a possibility.

It was impossible for her to go to Marian’s but James had offered to take her home with him and Dumbledore had approved. Cléobulle was to stay at Hogwarts for Lily didn’t have the heart to uproot him in an unfamiliar environment for a mere two weeks. He would be well taken care of by Madam Weasley (who wouldn’t leave the castle this year).

A knock at the door pulled her from her contemplative state. She wasn’t surprised to see James stepping in, already dressed in his winter cloak. She had been waiting for him after all.

James smiled a tentative smile at the sight of his friend standing at the window. "Are you ready? The carriages have been brought around a few minutes ago. Here… I’ll take your trunk downstairs."

Lily followed him outside the room without a word but she made sure to smile her thanks to him. If there was one person she felt she could rely on then that person was James. She knew she was very lucky to have him for a friend.

***

From the large windows of the teachers’ lounge, Keanan Raven watched the students streaming out of the castle and pilling into the carriages. He sighed as he caught sight of a girl with red hair going down the front steps with a tall black-haired boy. He remembered when the whole mess he was in had started…

***

Scotland, winter 1790

Sprawled carelessly in a comfortable armchair with a glass of brandy in his hand, Keanan Raven was staring into space, pictures of a red-haired girl from the future flashing in his mind.

A fire was burning merrily in the grate and it gave the room a warm and cozy atmosphere in great contrast with the icy December wind that could be heard howling outside.

There was a soft ‘pop’ and a rather tiny house-elf appeared in front Raven. The little creature frowned at the sight of the almost empty glass.

"Master Keanan knows that he shouldn’t be drinking considering his rather dangerous occupations."

Raven glanced dispassionately at the dark liquid remaining at the bottom of his glass. Was that his second one already? He fancied that if he swirled the alcohol just this way then the flickering light of the fire gave it a beautiful reddish hue.

"What do you want Pippin?" he asked, his eyes still on the glass and intent on recapturing the fugitive colour.

"Will Master Keanan be coming to the dining room for super?" Pippin asked, taking advantage of his master’s lack of attention to take a peek at the decanter resting on the desk on the other side of the room. The thing was actually three-quarters full and, satisfied, Pippin tried to coax the brooding man out of his study. "Faidi has made some of that raspberry shortcakes you like so much for dessert..."

"I’m not hungry tonight."

"But maste-"

"I said I wasn’t hungry, Pippin. And I wish to be left alone."

Pippin knew that when the master spoke in his no-nonsense tone it was useless to argue and he vanished quickly.

Once the elf had gone Raven tossed back the rest of his drink in one gulp and started to pace on the expensive Persian rug covering the cold stone floor in front of the fireplace. He didn’t have to look at his pocket watch to know that the old crackpot was late. He was, after all, the master of Time--in his own bizarre way at least.

He remembered how awed he had been when the illustrious Merlin of the legends had appeared in front of him for the first time. His ethereal form had been almost invisible but it had still created a great impression on a lad of thirteen. He hadn’t believed it at first when the old wizard had told him he would do great things in the years to come. More ludicrous was what came next: he, Keanan Raven, was to be a very special member of the Tempus Fugit Order. Order created by Merlin himself to ‘observe the world and sometimes rectify the acts of the Great Goddess’ (in Merlin’s own words), for, you see, the Great Goddess didn’t always do things right.

It had taken little convincing to make young Keanan join. And now, fifteen years later, there were few things or times he hadn’t seen. A very peculiar magic was flowing in his veins and he could freely go backward or forward in time in a three hundred years margin. Raven knew that this travelling had a price and that it was taking a toll on his body but he wasn’t overly worried, it usually took him no more than a day or two to recover completely from a sudden time change.

The Tempus Fugit Order must be one of the oddest ever created considering that none of its members lived at the same period. The oldest of them all was Merlin of course. They could communicate with one another by ways of ethereal transportation and Raven was the only one who could actually travel physically at will through time. Consequently he was some sort of handyman. Meaning he was sent on missions. Mostly to observe and more rarely to intervene, for life had to follow its course and the unbalanced forces of the universe had a wicked knack to upset it.

It was his most recent mission that had caused Raven such distress. He had arrived back to his normal time a day ago and was now waiting for Merlin to contact him so he could do his report. His abilities did not allow him to actually visit the old wizard in his own time.

Raven suddenly felt a light breeze unsettling his messy hair. Speak of the devil…

"Good evening, my boy," Merlin said jovially. He was seated behind Keanan’s desk and the leather of the chair could be seen through his flickering ghostly body. "Goodness me! You look absolutely awful!" he added with a chuckle. "Ladies trouble?"

"Nothing of the sort," Raven replied testily. He had great respect for the man, he really had. A very powerful wizard he was. But it didn’t mean he wasn’t an old coot all the same.

"If you say so." It was hard to tell because the ghost was barely visible but Raven was sure Merlin’s eyes were twinkling merrily.

"Now, about the mission…"

Merlin sobered instantly. He may be an old coot but he had a world to watch over. "Yes?"

Raven started pacing again. "I had to visit several different years. You know, the before, the after and the in-between." Merlin nodded. "Well, it seems that all is taken care of thanks to some ‘keys’. The dark wizard Flamel feared will be brought down."

"Well, this is good news indeed. So we had nothing to worry about after all?"

"Not exactly. I’ve felt some disturbance. It was very faint but there is a possibility of the future taking a different path. I would say that it had approximately one chance out of ten to take the wrong one."

Merlin’s ghostly eyebrows knitted together, his face couldn’t actually darken but it was clear that it wasn’t good news to him. "We cannot take chances, Voldemort must fall," he murmured.

Raven stopped his pacing and looked at the old man. So much depended on him, he looked very tired and very old all of a sudden.

"I have identified the keys," Raven said gently, "I will tell Flamel who they are and he will have them watched."

"Would you watch them for me?"

For a moment Raven stood frozen. No, this wasn’t happening, he wouldn’t let it happen. He swallowed nervously

"I can’t do this, Merlin. I would have to stay in the same time for a very lengthy period and I was never gone more than a couple of months. To do this properly I would have to stop my travelling for at least two years…"

Merlin rose and glided through the desk to come and stand-or rather float-near the young man.

"You know that how long you stay will not matter in the end, Keanan," he said gently. " I understand it’s still a lot to ask…you won’t regain those two years, they will be irrevocably spent. But I have a feeling that it is very important that we see to this particular matter. You are one of the most powerful wizards who have ever existed, your knowledge of the magical arts is nearly bottomless. I believe that you are the most qualified person for this."

Raven knew he was going to regret it but he couldn’t well refuse Merlin, not when the old wizard was practically pleading with him. Drat! Who was he kidding? He couldn’t resist seeing her again, no matter how much it would hurt to stand by and watch her build her life with another and then die. The temptation was too great.

"I will do it," he said in barely more than a whisper. He swore he could actually feel the weight of the translucent hand Merlin had placed on his shoulder.

"I hadn’t expected less of you, my boy. The Great Goddess made the right thing by giving you these powers."

Raven chuckled mirthlessly. "I don’t know if I’m very thankful for that. It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be."

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "What was that? I don’t think I’ve heard that expression before."

"I picked it up on the last mission. They have a very disturbing manner of speaking in the twentieth century. I had to adapt myself."

"Good, good. Now, there will be one person who will be aware of your true identity. He actually asked for our help, his name is Albus Dumbledore. Heard of us by Flamel although the old rascal wasn’t supposed to reveal anything about the Order to anyone. Never was one for rules, Nicholas."

When Merlin had gone Raven went back to his comfortable chair near the fire. He decided to give himself a week before starting his new mission. He wasn’t ready to see her again yet. Not when just yesterday he had seen her corpse lying on the ground with a crying baby in her arms.

***

Well, that’s it for now! I’ll answer the questions you’ve asked (and those you will ask) when I post Part b, which I will probably combine with Part a. I expect it to be up anytime between Sunday and next Saturday.

Author’s notes: I’m so very sorry for making you wait too long for this. In fact I’m so sorry that I’m posting this before sending it to my beta so you can have it sooner. Again. I’ll post the corrected version when I get it. I’d like to thank all my reviewers, I just went back through all the reviews and I’m on a little cloud right now. I hope you enjoy Part 2. The title, ‘Frozen Raspberries’, concerns a tiny paragraph at the very end.

Chapter 10 part 2. Frozen Raspberries.

"Go and show Lily her room, James. I’ll see to dinner."

Mrs. Potter reminded Lily very much of her own mother. Both had a delicate and elegant figure, kind eyes and beautiful hands. Their ethereal beauty made them look like two animated china dolls but without the proverbial coldness. Their colouring and voices differed but the superficial likeness was enough to bring tears to her eyes. Brushing them away furtively, Lily followed James up the Grand staircase of Potter Manor.

She had known that the Potters were a very old and respected wizarding family and, in her mind, they were bound to live comfortably. She would never have imagined so much…well, opulence was the word. Not that it was too overbearing. Just very impressive.

Lily was from an upper middle-class family and she had been impressed with the sight of the eighteenth century manor and the extensive grounds presently covered in snow.

"Here we are."

James opened a door and stepped back gallantly to let Lily have a look.

"I hope you like it," he continued as she stepped into the room. "I know you’re partial to blue. Oh and your trunk has already been brought up."

"Thanks James. It’s very lovely," Lily said, turning to face him after a quick inspection of the room. Not overbearing at all. Rather elegant.

James stayed in the doorway as Lily walked to one of the bay windows to admire the view.

"We call it the Blue Room," he said a bit awkwardly.

Lily raised an eyebrow and ran her hand over the blue velvet curtain. "Really?" Was it her imagination or did James seem incredibly nervous? He was rather fidgety.

"It’s because of the blue curtains, the blue carpets, the blue bed coverlet…" he trailed off. "But of course you’d already noticed that."

Was he squirming now?

"It had crossed my mind that the ‘Blue Room’ would be an appropriate name, yes."

Definitely squirming.

James cleared his throat. "Hmm, well then…I think I’ll let you get all settled in; you’re allowed to use magic in the house if you want. I’ll come back when it’s time for dinner. My room is two doors down the corridor if you need anything."

When he had gone, Lily started to unpack her trunk rather mechanically. The tears were coming back, but she didn’t bother with wiping them away this time. There was no one to see her cry. In a way she was relieved. She had felt guilty about not being able to cry. But it wasn’t the big liberating flow she yearned for and the few tears quickly dried on her cheeks.

She wondered how she could act and talk normally with such ease when she felt so empty inside. There wasn’t even pain. Just emptiness and a feeling of unreality.

A soft ‘pop’ made her drop her favourite jumper in surprise.

"Good evening, Miss!"

A House-elf. She had only seen one at Hogwarts before. They were very discrete creatures.

"Good evening," she said with a smile.

"I is Minty, Miss. I wanted to know if Miss was in need of anything."

"I don’t require anything, thank you, Minty. And you can call me Lily."

"Yes, Miss Lily. Minty will be going then. Minty needs to see to it that Pippin doesn’t mess around too much in the kitchen."

Minty was gone before Lily could ask who was this Pippin. She didn’t know much about House-elves but ‘Pippin’ sounded definitely elvish.

Her unpacking done, she started a letter to Marian while waiting for James.

***

Without being a ravenous bookworm, Lily had done her decent share of reading since being accepted to Hogwarts. She was particularly fascinated by the lives and customs of the traditional wizarding families, which were so very different from what she was used to as a Muggle born witch.

It was thanks to her readings that she knew that the elder male still played the prominent role in the old families. So she had thought that she’d better talk about her parents’ funerals with Mr. Potter. They were to take place the following day and she didn’t know how she would get to Kent.

He hadn’t been at dinner the previous evening and neither James nor his mother had enlightened her as to the reasons of his absence. Not that she had dared to ask anyway.

She was now sipping a rich, hot chocolate made especially for her by Minty. Mrs. Potter had left for the Ministry early this morning and she was alone in the breakfast room with James. He was playing with his porridge and seemed as nervous as the day before.

"James?"

James started and looked up from his bowl.

"I was wondering if your father would be here today. I have to talk to him about the fun- about something urgent. And--," Lily stopped as James dropped his spoon and paled. Alarmed, she placed her cup back on the saucer and reached across the table to take his hand. It was cold and trembling faintly. "James? Are you alright?"

He swallowed. "I’m fine," he croaked.

Lily scowled. "Of course you’re not fine. You’re trembling all over."

James looked away and swiftly retracted his hand at her words. "I wanted to tell you ever since we arrived here yesterday…Merlin! I should have told you months ago. But I couldn’t…I haven’t told anyone…" he stopped and met her eyes again.

"What is it James?" Lily asked as gently as she could.

"He’s dead, Lily."

The words took a while to sink in. When they did, they left her stunned. "What?" The last time she had seen Marcus Potter was when he had come to pick James up at King’s Cross in June. He had seemed perfectly happy and in good health.

"He’s dead," James repeated, as if trying to convince himself.

"But how…when?"

"Last summer. During a Death Eater attack."

"Oh James…I’m sorry I—I—I didn’t know. I never even suspected… what kind of a friend am I?"

This time it was James who reached across the table to take her hand. "Don’t blame yourself Lily. I didn’t want anyone to know and I acted in consequence. You shouldn’t worry about me, I have done my mourning but you still need to do yours."

His eyes were so kind, so full of understanding and love…did she really deserve a friend like him?

She didn’t respond but squeezed his hand softly and he seemed satisfied. Their little moment was interrupted when the door swung open without any warning. Lily’s eyes widened when she saw her Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher walking in as if he owned the place. A House-elf a bit taller that Minty was following him, squealing excitedly. "It is so good to see you again Master Keanan! Will sir be wanting any breakfast?"

"No, thank you, Pippin. I already had breakfast." He talked to the elf but Lily could see him eyeing her and James’ hands joined on the table. She guiltily withdrew her own but James didn’t move.

"What are you doing here? James was scowling and Lily was appalled to see him talking so rudely to one of their teachers.

Raven seemed unfazed however. "Good morning to you too, James." He then turned to Lily. "Good morning Miss Evans."

Lily nodded in acknowledgement.

He let Pippin take his cloak away before answering James’ question.

"I am here at Headmaster Dumbledore’s request and I need to have a private word with Miss Evans."

Lily knew that James didn’t trust Raven. But she also knew that the very powerful wards around Potter Manor didn’t allow anyone with bad intentions to enter the protected grounds.

James was aware of this of course, but he answered with great reluctance.

"You can go into my father’s study. No one uses it anymore."

Lily followed Raven out of the room and was surprised to see that he seemed to know perfectly where to go. The fact that he seemed to be on a first-name basis with James had seemed logical; James himself had acknowledged their acquaintance. But there was obviously more to it than she had been told.

She liked the study immediately. The fire burning in the grate, the old and comfortable leather chairs, the massive oak desk with countless bizarre artefacts haphazardly piled on top of it, the warm Persian rug…everything spoke of a room often used and used by someone who cared. It clearly belonged to someone. And, looking at Raven, Lily thought he might well be that someone. Of course she knew he couldn’t be, but the feeling was there nonetheless.

He did not seem to mind her scrutiny. And, had she not known better, she would have thought he relished it.

"Dumbledore asked me to accompany you to your parents’ funerals," he said bluntly.

Lily found she wasn’t even shocked. "Why you?" she simply asked.

"I was available."

He was standing too far away for her to try and read his eyes. Judging from her one failed attempt back in September she doubted she would have read anything now anyway. She bit her lip before asking hesitantly, "Aren’t you sorry to be ‘available’? I mean, you certainly have better things to do than following one of your students around."

Raven smiled sadly. "I didn’t think you would share your classmates’ opinion of me."

"Sir?"

"Would you deny that I am thought of as a heartless bastard? Possibly a Death Eater? Or, at the very least, a vampire? I am perfectly capable of understanding and respecting someone’s distress."

"I didn’t mean to be rude, sir," Lily apologised demurely. When she saw he seemed to soften slightly she thought it safe to ask her next question. "Are you a relative of the Potters?"

Raven stayed silent for so long that Lily thought he wouldn’t answer and she began playing with a metallic sphere on the desk to hide her embarrassment.

"A very distant relative," he said at last, watching her small hand rolling the sphere back and forth on the ancient wood.

"I guess the connection would be more evident if your hair was a bit longer. It’s too short to be unruly like James’ but it’s the same raven black," Lily said distractedly, lifting the sphere to have closer look at the runes engraved in the metal. When she realised what she had said she blushed furiously. She sounded like one of those love-sick fifth years she’d heard gushing about the mysterious professor.

She looked up cautiously but he now had his back turned and was examining a painting on the wall. She fumbled for something to say to cover up her blunder. "It was nice of you to agree to accompany me to the f—to Kent. Thank you."

He turned back to her and nodded. "You are welcome. I will spend the night here and we will Apparate to your home tomorrow."

"But I don’t know how to—"

"It doesn’t matter. I will take care of it."

The way he said it, Lily had no doubt he would.

***

When Lily woke up on Christmas morning it was still dark and the big house was silent. Blindly, she slid a hand under her pillow and pulled out her wand. She whispered a Lumos spell and glanced at her watch. Five twenty. Surely no one was up yet.

She knew she wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep and she had no wish to dwell on the memories of the past few days alone in her bed. There was only one option left.

Her wand between her teeth, she put on a warm pair of socks and groped for her slippers. She found her Gryffindor dressing gown half hidden under the bed and shrugged it on on her way to the door. She tipped-toed in the corridor, praying for the old wooden floorboards to stay silent.

James had shown her around the house after her tête à tête with Raven and she had been particularly taken with the conservatory and its colourful array of strange plants. When she opened the door she was immediately assailed by the heady fragrance she remembered well. The air was hot and damp when she passed through the mini jungle occupying a good part of the glass room. The tip of her wand provided just enough light for her to follow the twisted path, and she could hear the plants moving in the darkness. All the plants were of a wizarding species unknown to Muggles but James had assured her that none were dangerous and she walked confidently.

She came out of the live labyrinth and stepped on soft grass, looking for the raspberry bush James had shown her the other day. It was the ‘mother’ of the bush he had given her for her birthday. Having found what she was looking for, Lily lay down next to it and reached for a fruit, which she crushed between her fingers.

"Nox", she whispered, letting the sweet aroma of the raspberry invade her senses.

She smiled.

It was there that James found her some time later.

It was still dark and the light of his wand was reflected against his glasses.

"I thought I would find you here," he said, sinking to the ground next to her. He planted his wand in the soft earth and observed his friend. "Are you sad?"

"I feel at peace," Lily answered looking into his eyes.

"Me too."

Then he bent down and brushed his mouth softly against hers.

"Happy Christmas, Lily."

***

In a little clearing on the edge of the Forbidden Forest a red flower had popped out of the snow under a raspberry bush with frozen fruits. The poppy seemed very fragile amongst its taller vegetal neighbours.

The stag walked daintily into his clearing. The red flower caught his eye. It hadn’t been here the day before. But it didn’t matter. It was in his realm and under his protection now.

Satisfied with his inspection the stag walked away.

*********************

Important author’s note: I’m going to have to put the fic on hold until early September. I’m going away for the summer and won’t have an internet access. But it won’t stop me from writing and I’ll post what I have as soon as I come back (around September 5). If you would like me to send you an e.mail when I start updating again just leave your address in your review.