Bitter Adour

J

Rating: R
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Draco & Ginny
Book: Draco & Ginny, Books 1 - 5
Published: 04/02/2004
Last Updated: 04/02/2004
Status: completed

Challenge Response to Smashed Sunshine. Lyrics in bold by Damien Rice. The moment's never right.

Chapters

1. Volcano

1. Volcano

VOLCANO

BY: J

DISCLAIMER – This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

CHAPTER SUMMARY – You think love should be simple. You think there’s nothing else in the world that can stop it. Maybe the world can stop it. Maybe situations arise where love is an impossible dream. Challenge Response to Smashed Sunshine. Lyrics in bold by Damien Rice.

Dedication (and Challenge Response) to my all time favourite author, Smashed Sunshine

(blatant plug ^^)

Important: This fic was written in a snapshot like order of events that are not chronological – it moves between the present and Ginny and Draco’s flashbacks of events that occurred during Hogwarts.

—

It was dark by this time; a silent, empty night where the moon hid behind dark clouds with only the bright snow to lend some sight. No one would be out on this night. Bitter winds whipped at the trees and made a haunting sound as it blew through the gnarled branches. Ginny Weasley hastily made her way though the brambles, clenching her teeth as the thorns scratched at her skin.

Nails against skin.

Her breathing grew ragged as she tore through the forest away from the shouts behind her. Tears blinded her vision and she swallowed thickly as she hastened her pace. She could hear the heavy footfall behind her grow louder as they caught up quickly with their long strides. Ginny’s breaths became panicked as she pushed forward, her lungs aching with the harsh, cold air. Suddenly a sharp branch caught her cloak tugging her backward. Flailing wildly she caught her balance before rushing forward once again leaving behind her only source of warmth.

Smooth warm flesh against flesh.

Her muscles clenched then, causing her to tumble to the ground. Cramped and sorely protesting movement, her muscles were forced as she struggled to get beneath the sparse undergrowth that bordered the worn path. Squeezing into a ball Ginny clenched her eyes shut and tried to quiet her breathing, as the sounds of running grew closer. She opened her eyes and watched the crisp black boots that ran past her, their owner breathing heavily with exertion. Ginny closed her eyes in relief and relaxed, allowing her muscles to rest. Lost in her exhaustion she didn’t hear the quiet footfalls that stopped before her. Ginny’s eyes only shot open as a hand tugged her roughly to her feet.

Silver eyes stared coldly into hers.

—

The young Frenchman paused before Draco and smiled, his teeth glinting sharply much like a shark’s. Ginny eyed him interestedly as they shook hands, exchanging quiet words. She spelled the tables clean as Draco took a small sack from the man. The light jingle confirmed her suspicions.

Money for the whores.

Ginny gathered up the dirty plates and looked up again at the pair before emitting a small gasp. It was then that a pretty redhead joined the Frenchman, their arms entwined. Ginny stared open-mouthed at the young woman, and it was the loud crash of broken plates that roused her from her stupor. Draco’s eyes swung to hers angrily and Ginny flushed as she quickly repaired the plates with her wand and gathered them up.

He can’t fire you. He can’t fire you. Ginny avoided her boss’ gaze as she made her way to the kitchens only to be stopped by the dangerous way her name rolled off Draco’s tongue. He gestured her over and Ginny closed her eyes tightly before moving towards him and the couple, a bright smile in place. Draco’s eyes roved over her face shrewdly before turning to the Frenchman again.

“Virginia Weasley. Last of the clan.”

Ginny’s breath hitched and cast a hurt, accusing look at Draco who stared at her uncommonly bright eyes unfeelingly.

“Virginia, Guillaume Mies and his lovely fiancée Alia Reante.”

Draco’s eyes cast an appreciative glance towards Alia and Ginny looked away as he looked back at her, his eyes piercing hers suddenly.

“Ms. Weasley,” the soft-spoken girl smiled. “I must say it’s like looking into a mirror. Do you have French family?”

Ginny looked up at Alia carefully. “All British.”

Guillaume laughed, his eyes carefully inspecting Ginny. “It’s true Alia. Almost like twins.”

“Almost is certainly correct Mr. Mies. Alia is a beautiful woman.”

Ginny felt her face heat up at the poorly hidden insult. Seething she looked at Draco angrily before casting her eyes towards Guillaume as he began to speak.

“Be careful Monsieur Malfoy. You don’t know what you do to insult such a charming girl.”

Draco looked angry at the slight admonishment for a quick moment before becoming the perfect host once again.

“I took Virginia in after her family died in the war. Gave her a job and place to stay. It was one of my contributions to the rebuilding of the Wizarding Community.”

Guillaume smiled thinly. “So modest Monsieur. I’m sure you put her to good use as well.”

Draco’s anger was simmering dangerously at the surface and Ginny became alarmed. “Mr. Mies, Draco has helped me out. I was living poorly after the war. It was hard for me to put past rivalries behind me, but I’m grateful now for his help.”

“He’s made you repay him no doubt.”

“Guillaume!” Alia said sharply.

Ginny stared at the man, as he seemed unperturbed at his abrupt rudeness. Draco had stared stonily at her as she tried to explain their relationship, his eyes never leaving her face even as she avoided his gaze. Ginny stared down at the plates in her hand wishing to be away from this all.

“Continue cleaning up Virginia. I will escort Mr. Mies and Miss Reante to their rooms now.”

Ginny nodded and made her parting with the couple before quickly making her way to the kitchens. Draco no doubt, would push his affections on Miss Reante and take out his frustrations on Ginny later that night. Ignoring the gnawing ache in her heart Ginny flicked her wand at the dirty dishes accumulated in the sinks.

—

Thinking about it forever, wanting it forever – believing in it forever. It wasn’t too soon that she’d realized forever is much too long a time.

“Sometimes you have to let go.”

Draco stared at her blankly, his face a careful mask. Searching his face desperately, she fought to ignore the disappointment that hung heavily over her as she put on her cloak. He didn’t seem to care that their relationship was over, that all they’d have together was Hogwarts. She hadn’t wanted promises and she hadn’t wanted a public relationship; in the end, all she had wanted was him.

—

“Just do it Gin,” Hermione said tiredly, rubbing her eyes, “I don’t want you to but you’ve been in my head from morn to night about it. Why do you want this anyway? I thought things were over between you and him.”

—

“Draco?”

He turned around and stared at her silently, seemingly unable to even acknowledge her presence. His friends stared at her dumbly obviously wondering what she wanted. Ginny looked for a flicker of interest, annoyance even, but he waited patiently for her to speak.

“Never mind,” she mumbled, feeling her face go red.

“What do you want Weasley?”

She paused from her walk away and steeled her resolve. “Do you want to go to the ball with me?”

She waited with bated breath but the silence hung painfully in the air.

“Do you mind turning around and asking me?”

Ginny turned and was surprised to see Draco alone. Asking again under his gaze was difficult and she found her voice quite lost. She chanced a glance up at his face and her breath caught in her throat at the anger in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her gaze caught in his.

“And for what?” He asked, his voice dangerously soft. “It doesn’t matter Weasley, I wasn’t planning on going to the ball anyway.”

As he walked away Ginny fought the tears that stung her eyes. She hadn’t believed in it, it seemed now like an unattainable experience that only a select few achieved. Maybe all true love is unrequited.

He’d never really loved her. Perhaps she didn’t even know what love was.

—

“I heard he asked Pansy Parkinson again.”

The other girls moaned in disgust. “That girl. Malfoy could do better than that.” They dissolved into giggles as they debated who might be fit for the Slytherin. Pulling her blankets over her head, Ginny stared into the darkness blankly, unaware that her nails bit into the soft flesh of her palm. It was quite obvious there and then what his feelings truly were.

—

“Virginia.”

Ginny stared up at her canopy as Draco entered the rooms and began to disrobe. It wasn’t too long ago that she had resided in Hogwarts surrounded by friends and family. Surrounded by love. Draco’s hand hovered near her cheek before moving towards the hem of her nightdress and drawing it over her head. His hands were hard and unfeeling against her skin and his body moved above her relentlessly until he slumped against her panting. Draco rolled off of her and Ginny felt his body sink into the mattress. They lay side by side, lost in their two different worlds.

“Alia would have been a lot better.”

Draco remained next to her and she made no move to defend herself, her dignity. He rolled onto his side and pulled the blankets up before going to sleep. She didn’t care anymore did she? It wasn’t the world she had before was it now.

What was the use of pretending?

—

“Ginny! You look great!”

Ginny patted her hair as she smiled at Hermione. “You too Hermione. Where’s Harry?”

Harry grinned as he ambled up with two punch glasses. “Right here. Had to fight Malfoy for the punch.”

Involuntarily her gaze wandered to the Punch Bowl where Draco stood, his gaze fixated on his glass of punch as Pansy spoke to him. Ginny watched as Pansy reached up brush his hair from his eyes. Whatever he said made her smile, softening the pug nosed Slytherin’s features. Draco kissed her cheek gently and his silvery eyes rose to meet Ginny’s. Looking away quickly, Ginny felt her chest tighten and she looked blindly at Harry as he continued to speak.

“Slimy git’s been ogling you two ever since the ball started. I mean he really should—” Harry paused and a slightly pained look crossed his face as he looked at someone behind her.

“Hello Harry!”

“Hello Colin…” Harry said a little wearily. Ginny smiled into her punch as Colin’s face beamed.

“I’ve got some smashing shots of you and Hermione if you’d like to see them later Harry!”

Ginny grinned at Colin and put down her glass. “Colin would you like to dance?”

Colin smiled. “Of course, Ginny. Later then Harry!”

He guided her to the floor, gingerly placing his hands onto her waist. Ginny hid her smile at his shy actions as she wrapped her hands around his neck.

“It’s funny how his face—" Colin suddenly stiffened and Ginny looked up at him in alarm.

“What’s the matter?”

“Malfoy’s been looking at you awfully close tonight,” he whispered, as if Draco could hear from across the room.

Ginny placed a smile on her face, refusing to turn around. “Probably looking for a way to make my night worse than it already is,” she said. Playfully punching his shoulder she grinned up at him.

“Now, let’s discuss your excessive torture of poor Harry Potter.”

Colin grinned impishly. “I bet he still thinks I’m going to jump out from behind some table.”

Ginny couldn’t help laughing as Colin swung her around.

—

The bed was cold and empty. Her fingers traced the indentation in the sheets believing his warmth was still there beneath her fingertips. It was Sunday. He didn’t make her work on Sundays. Ginny closed her eyes and breathed in his scent as feelings of remorse washed over her. She missed her family. She missed life before the war. His lingering scent didn’t comfort her thoughts but rather sharpened the pain. Her heart in her throat, Ginny closed her eyes against the sharp sting of tears. Twenty-three and caught up in the clutches of a Death Eater’s son. Twenty-three, unmarried and unloved. It was no wonder Mr. Mies had thought her to be a whore for residing in such a place at her age. The underground business that Draco had hidden in his cosy hotel.

A whore for Draco perhaps.

—

“What’re you doing here?”

Ginny flushed and felt suddenly foolish for her impulsive decision. What was she doing here? She’d be a fool to admit she felt something for him but she needed to see him. Summer had been killing her, all her thoughts consumed by him. She tried not to sigh as his hand cupped her face gently. As the wind whipped at her robes, she looked up at him and at the confusion that had settled across his face.

“My father isn’t home. You can come in for a while.”

Ginny followed him in relief as he withdrew his hand and opened the window wider for her. Clambering off her broom she tried not to clutch at him as he placed his hands on her waist and lifted her inside. I must look so desperate.

“I missed you,” she blurted out and watched with a heavy heart as Draco recoiled, dropping his hands from her waist hastily. He stared at her, his eyes revealing nothing. Ginny made a sound of frustration before pressing her lips to his forcefully. As his lips opened in surprise she closed her eyes and allowed herself the small pleasure. He moaned and slid his tongue into her mouth only to caress her lips and run gently along her teeth. Her eyes slid closed as she gave in to the liquid heat that coursed through her that Draco caused with the sharp, demanding ministrations of his warm mouth.

Gasping they pulled apart and Draco looked dazed before pushing her away quickly. Ginny stared at him openmouthed as Draco turned away from her.

“I don’t feel the way you do.”

“W-what?”

“Merlin Weasley, it was just-”

Ginny felt her throat constrict and she set her mouth stubbornly as the tears of frustration stung her eyes.

“Just what Draco!”

“Stop saying my name like that!”

“Like what! Like I care, like I want-”

“You don’t know what you want!”

Ginny couldn’t believe him. His voice wasn’t even steady it was shaking. He couldn’t even look at her. Draco looked up defiantly then as if sensing her thoughts and his eyes pierced hers, the stormy gray that she couldn’t even begin to comprehend. His eyebrows were knitted in confusion.

“I didn’t even miss you Ginny,”

“You’re lying,” she whispered.

Draco continued as if he didn’t hear her. “I don’t love you, I don’t care for you. I’m not Potter for Merlin’s sake! I can’t do this anymore.”

He strode towards her, and Draco could feel his hands shaking slightly as he reached up to touch her face. What the hell was wrong with him? He took a shuddering breath and stroked her face only to feel lost as she wrenched away, her sobs wracking her body.

“Don’t touch me Draco.”

Draco reached for her; he knew he was wearing his heart on his face. She could see everything and yet he didn’t care. He tried to pull her to him, tried to apologize but no words came out and she pulled away, her tears and look of betrayal cutting him.

“Don’t touch me,” she whispered again, her eyes flashing angrily despite her tears. “Sorry for having been such a bother.”

She turned away from him and blindly reached for her broom. Draco watched helplessly as she straddled it and took off into the night. Bringing his hands to his side Draco closed his eyes, swallowing thickly.

—

A look alike. A prettier look alike with all the charm. Ginny stabbed her sausage angrily before taking a bite. She sat with her back faced away from them but she could feel Draco’s gaze on her neck. You don’t control me. You don’t.

Ginny blinked rapidly as her breakfast swam before her eyes. Resting her fork against her plate she propped her head up with her hand and stared off tiredly. Draco caressing her, Draco whispering things they promised not to say, Draco drawing away. Me telling him it was over. Ginny sighed and wondered where the infamous Mr. Mies was. Why was he allowing his fiancée to be alone with Draco Malfoy?

—

“What do you want Weasley? Another shag?” Draco smirked at the shocked look on her face. “Sorry love, I don’t do things more than once. Sometimes you have to let go,” he said mockingly.

Draco watched coolly as her face reddened and her body shook with silent fury. How many times had he seen her like this and it still never failed to surprise him? Gods, she was so easily affected by mere words, it was pitiful. He was about to turn away when he heard her whisper. It was so quiet that he barely heard it but filled with such venom and disgust that the ferocity still threw him.

“You bastard. You fucking bastard.”

Draco smiled tightly; ignoring the pang in his heart. The little girl had guts. He really thought her timid with the little ‘Oh’s’ she’d made during the few times they had sex. He’d been frustrated that she never opened up to him even as she said she cared: never screamed, never yelled – never said his name. She just watched him through clouded eyes as he fucked her and it had been disconcerting.

Disappointing.

Draco straightened his shoulders and began to walk out of the anteroom; he really spent enough time with her as it was. She made him miss three minutes of the ball. He was surprised as a small hand grabbed his robes roughly and spun him around. Draco stared at her with mild interest and was distinctly amused to see her glower at his reaction.

“Please do not touch me again.”

“I’m not finished with you Malfoy!” She spat. Quite the little vixen really, Draco thought amusedly. What more there really was to say. She was only the second girl he’d shagged and honestly she was frustrating him to no extent. He’d thought this had been cleared up already.

Pinching her hand lightly with his forefinger and thumb he removed her hand from his robe and straightened them before looking her carefully in the eye.

“Weasley, we do not like each other. In fact, we hate each other. What is your problem? All that pent up anger and frustration we had, the sex was just a convenient release. I’m not your Prince Charming. What I am to you is not real.”

To say she looked shocked was an understatement; she looked downright amazed, incredulous even. Draco looked down at the small girl, the unattainable Weasley offspring that he attained. But she wasn’t his.

“You’re a piece of work,” she whispered.

Draco raised his eyebrows. “Why thank you, I find my actions much unappreciated by most.”

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

Draco sighed and ran a hand through his hair and hastily pulled it away when he noticed it got mussed.

“Anything else then Weasley? Care to insult my mother, have a go at my father?”

“Draco—”

Draco silenced her with a glare. “Don’t say my name Weasley! You haven’t earned the privilege.” She looked alarmed at his anger. Draco cursed silently; he wasn’t supposed to break in front of her. The mere movement of acting on how he felt was a weakness, and this god damned Weasley was making a mess of his life. Sitting down tiredly, he took a breath before looking up at her. Things had changed drastically since she entered his life.

—

“I’m going to France.”

Ginny stared into the fireplace as Draco came up behind her. He stood behind her, for what reason she could not fathom. Usually her proximity disgusted him. It never used to be like that before. Before he couldn’t keep his hands off of her.

“Did you hear me?” Draco gave a frustrated sigh. “Alia invited me to her cottage.”

“Should I just tend the kitchens then?”

“You don’t care, do you?” he said flatly.

“Of course I care. No sex with you for a week would be wonderful.”

“Watch it Ginny.”

“Or you’ll what.” She could hear him breathing behind her. Soft breaths that belied his simmering anger. His resentment. If she were such a complication to him why wouldn’t he just let her go?

“I’ll be back on Sunday.”

—

Draco shuddered as her small hands ran over his body, tracing the outline of his muscles that clenched beneath her touch. He opened his eyes and stared into the brown ones that looked at him intently. She leant down and brushed her lips against his only to lick them playfully. Moaning, Draco plunged his hands into her hair and kissed her hungrily. Her tongue massaged his gently before flicking quickly and roughly against it. She pulled away and Draco stared at her hair as she flicked it over her shoulder. It ran down her shoulders in sleek, gentle waves. His eyes traveled down to her chest appreciatively before casting a fleeting glance to the thoughtful expression on her face. She was pensive tonight. Draco stifled his groan of protest as she clambered off of him but was relieved once she lay down next to him. It wasn’t long before he covered her with his body, moving into her with an ease that stilled him to pause. It felt so right but yet he didn’t care for following that train of thought. Glancing down at her he watched as she smiled tentatively and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Why was she suddenly shy? The thought didn’t remain long as he began to move, pushing them both over the side as their moans escalated and white-hot pleasure coursed through their bodies.

—

“You’re really skinny.”

Draco paused as he pulled his pants on and he glanced at her searchingly for some sign of malice. She simply looked curious and Draco turned away to slip on his shirt.

“I’ve always been like that.”

“Wish I were like that.” Draco watched as she lay down on his bed and closed her eyes. His eyes flickered over her face that looked serene, almost happy and he felt a smile tugging at his mouth at the faint one on hers. He’d give anything to know what she was thinking.

“Harry’s like that as well.”

Draco scowled and began buttoning up his shirt briskly. This is what he hated about her. She could get a bloke if she actually tried; someone other than Potter whose interest hadn’t wavered from his mudblood ‘friend’ for the past year. Still she clung pathetically to Scarhead in hopes of requited love. Draco felt his heart clench at the thought. Growling in disgust at his feelings he looked up in surprise as she laughed.

“Having trouble with your shirt Malfoy?”

“It’s special ordered from Madam Malkin’s, the buttons are their finest and the cotton their softest. Nothing you can afford and nothing you can imagine Weasley.”

She sat up at once her anger flaring. Draco watched regretfully as she wordlessly scooped up her robes and left pulling them on without a backward glance. She never replied to his remarks anymore, realizing that it was what he wanted. She just left without a word leaving him with self-contempt and regret. Still the relief was present as the clench in his heart withdrew.

This was why he hated her. They were too different. A Weasley and a Malfoy. It was a feud they’d kept for centuries and the bad blood between them was not going to heal after sex, even if it was mind-blowing. Snarling Draco shoved the side table over angrily and rubbed his eyes wearily.

—

“Basically our denied emotions continue to grow until they begin affecting us both physically and mentally. The pressure to act on what we feel is a normal, and denying or delaying that need only creates a greater need. Since our emotions can't be expressed the way they were designed to be expressed, they find a way to exert themselves in some other aberrant behavior, as unique as the individual themselves.”

Draco listened wearily as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher droned on. Repressed emotions were what dementors liked best. They used it to torture their victims. Draco closed his eyes and rested his head onto his hands, trying not to let his own emotions run wild. He hadn’t spoken to her since then and seeing her killed him.

She didn’t seem concerned anymore; she moved on. The way her face lit up with laughter and as she looked adoringly at Potter – it made him sick. Why did he care so much if he was only a passing love that she’d forgotten in a month? It was his fault; his own damned fault and he couldn’t even try to fix it. His father had already threatened him once about his doubts of becoming a Death Eater. Being with Ginny would never have worked out anyway.

—

Draco stared up at the sky as he fell. His hands groped at air feebly, as his mind tried to wrap around what was happening. Something gripped the back of his collar, choking him briefly before losing its grip. All thoughts ceased as he felt the explicit pain tear through his body as he hit the frozen earth. His head bounced against crisp grass and the warm liquid that seeped through his hair quickly spread into the dry soil.

What I really need is what makes me bleed, he thought, makes me lose sense of what used to be important.

She’d become a disturbance in his life; leeching out every possible good emotion that had been repressed in him only to make painful ones when she left. Nothing was the same for him anymore, not even the simple pleasure of flying through the air. It felt empty.

A flash of red drew him from his thoughts and he fought against the hands that held his head firmly to try to see. The medic from St. Mungo’s smiled at him reassuringly as her eyes assessed the damage. She watched in relief as his eyes focussed on her, only to become confused as his eyes were drawn to her hair.

“Mr. Malfoy you’ll be fine in a few days but we need to make sure your bones can be fixed here or if you need to go to St. Mungo’s. Please cooperate with us.”

Draco stopped fighting against their hold in defeat. She hadn’t even come to make sure he was all right.

—

“Well Mr. Malfoy. That was quite a fall. It’s a good thing Mr. Potter has such a good heart and was able to slow your fall. Might I ask what possessed you to lose grip of your broom?”

Draco closed his eyes against the face of the healer and ignored her question. Potter had saved him. She was probably worshipping him for his bravado and ‘good heart’ right now. Draco heard the healer sigh as she moved back behind him and continued cleaning the nearly healed bruise at the back of his head.

“Are you up for a guest Mr. Malfoy?”

Draco struggled against the hope that rose in him. “Who is it?”

The healer squinted at him. “Pansy Parkinson of course. She’s only been at your side since the fall.”

Draco shuttered and shook his head no. “I feel tired.”

Pomfrey glared at him futilely as the Slytherin had already shut his eyes again and was feigning sleep. He waited for her to leave before opening his eyes again. Somehow he wasn’t at all surprised to see Pansy Parkinson staring at him intently from the wooden seat next to his bed.

“Being a spoilt brat as usual I see.”

“Go away.”

“Going to the ball tomorrow night?”

Draco started. He’d forgotten about the ball. Maybe he could not go on the premises that he was still hurt—

“Madame Pomfrey says your head will stitch up by tomorrow and that your ribs are nearly healed.” Pansy smirked at his scowl.

“Will you go with me then?”

She squealed. “Of course Draco! I’ve been waiting for you to ask!”

Draco winced as she chattered on about their dress robes and the imminent ball. Maybe moving on wouldn’t be as hard as he thought.

—

As he sat down on the small couch of the anteroom she was suddenly on him, pushing him against the wall angrily with her hand. He grimaced as pain stabbed through his side as he hit the wall. To his surprise her gaze held no sympathy and she simply pushed him again roughly into the wall. Vaguely, he wondered if the students at the ball could hear the noises they made.

“You deserve it you idiot. You made me worry, and that stupid fall. What? Did you forget how to fly Malfoy?”

Draco looked up at her in surprise. She was sneering at him, all traces of hurt and betrayal gone. Her hair blew in wisps around her face as it fell out of her neatly done updo. He imagined she’d spent hours on it and now she stood before him, anger rolling off of her in waves. For some reason he relished it as he stared up at her stonily. She sighed in defeat as she sat next to him.

—

Ginny rubbed her left arm idly as she cleaned the kitchen. The stinging sensation seemed to be growing worse. Maybe she should ask Draco for a day off to go to the doctor. A wry grin stole onto her lips. He’d probably think the worst. Maybe that she was pregnant. You’d want that wouldn’t you? A little voice said. Even if it was a baby made in hate.

I’d still love him or her.

Ginny slammed a pan onto the counter as angry tears began to fall. She swiped at her eyes, pressing her palms against them uselessly. A choked sob broke out and Ginny slid to the floor, wishing for the world that she’d never chosen such a life.

—

“You know I’d thought it might’ve worked.”

Her companion sat silently as she twisted her robes in her hands. The beautiful brand new robes she’d gotten for the ball. Sitting down with a sigh she looked across and smiled tentatively, her tears dried up.

“Sometimes I really believed that I was in love.”

“And now?”

“Love doesn’t exist.”

“Maybe you just don’t know what love is.”

Ginny grinned ruefully. “It would make sense wouldn’t it Malfoy?”

She sighed.

—

Draco stood outside the kitchen door, his hand gripping the handle. She was crying dry, desperate sobs. Maybe he should let her go. He didn’t really need her; Merlin knew he had a large staff. Where would she go though? Pulling his hand away from the door Draco stepped away.

No. She had to stay here.

—

“Draco it’s raining outside!”

“And?”

Frowning, Ginny stared out into the rain longingly; the summer rain would be warm right now. She turned around to stare at Draco who studiously ignored her as he finished his transfiguration homework. His blonde hair was un-gelled and he was forever pushing it back as he worked. Her gaze ran down to his neck, which was revealed where he had unbuttoned his shirt.

Sighing she turned back to the window and watched as the rain hit the window in torrents. “Do you want to go out into the rain?”

Draco took a second to look up at her incredulously before snorting and going back to his work, “No.”

Ginny stood and moved to sit by his bed before lying back on it. She propped her head up with one hand and watched as Draco’s hand moved firmly and gracefully across the parchment. His eyes read the text rapidly; she could see them moving beneath his lids. Licking her lips, Ginny watched as his own lips moved as he read, slightly parted and moist where he licked them.

“Draco, do you remember what I told you about the rain?”

Draco grunted in response and did not remove is eyes from the text. He looked up as Ginny sighed in defeat and rolled over to stare out the window again. Smirking at her attempts to make him go out with her into the rain, Draco turned the page of his book. He hadn’t read anything since she’d first mentioned it was raining. She’d told him once that she’d always wanted to make love in the rain and the memory brought thoughts of her lying writhing beneath him as the rain pelted against his skin. Groaning, Draco picked up his quill and began writing again.

It wasn’t too soon when his attention was drawn away again. Draco stared as Ginny began undressing, her clothes making a swishing sound as she dropped them to the floor. His gaze lingered on the curve of her breast that lay shadowed as she stood with her back to him. The tantalizing sight was lost as she grabbed one of his shirts and buttoned it up quickly. Draco started as she suddenly reached under the shirt and pulled her knickers off each leg and flung them behind her.

Pulling the underwear from his head Draco struggled to find his voice as Ginny proceeded to pull on her cloak. “What’re you doing?”

He cringed at how his voice cracked and didn’t miss the mischievous look on his girlfriend’s face as she turned around to smile at him. Draco’s eyes lingered on her chest where the half unbuttoned shirt was yet to be covered by the clasp of her robe.

“I’m going out into the rain.”

Draco scrambled to his feet, silently cursing his quick loss of grace as he stumbled. “Not like that you are!”

Ginny raised her tiny nose at him and pulled the robe closed with finality and an ‘hmph!’ as she carefully put her wand onto his dresser. “Indeed I am Malfoy.”

“That’s my shirt,” he pointed out quite obviously.

Ginny waved him away as she pulled on her shoes, “Of course it is. I’m not about to get my own clothes wet and dirty!”

Draco smiled wryly at her logic before dashing to the door before she could leave. “There’s no way by Salazar’s balls are you going anywhere dressed like that.”

“It’s not polite to swear by Slytherin’s cobblers when you’ve got a Gryffindor in your midst,” she admonished lightly before reaching for the handle of the door. Draco stepped in front of the door.

“Bollocks!”

Ginny smirked, “Indeed.”

Growling in frustration Draco muttered a locking charm and smirked himself at her indignant look. “Sorry love.”

His smile faded as Ginny moved closer to him, her warmth heating his skin. Her hand caressed his stomach and Draco could feel his muscles tense in response. He looked down at the small redhead, marvelling at the great difference of their heights. His breath hitched as her hand moved lower never stilling their movement.

“Ginny!” he croaked angrily. With a triumphant yell she grabbed his wand and stepped away smugly as she pointed it at him.

“Now Draco, would you like to come into the rain with me?”

Draco eyed his wand warily before lifting his gaze to her amused eyes. He hated how she got under his skin like that; bending him to her evil wiles.

“Ginny don’t be daft, my transfiguration assignment is due tomorrow…” Draco faltered at her disappointed look. He hardened his resolve and took the moment of weakness to snatch his wand away before striding towards his desk.

She was oozing those disappointed waves and he bet she even had that hurt look in her eyes. It usually got him every time. Not tonight, he thought smugly. Scratching at his parchment he was aware of her moving around behind him silently. She was changing her clothes.

“Alohomora.” Draco spun around in time to see her leave the room silently. Glancing at his bed he stared at his shirt for a moment. Why was this so bloody important to her? Shaking his head, Draco returned to his essay and took up his transfiguration book again only to throw it down in frustration a few moments later. Bloody hell, I can’t even concentrate. Rubbing his eyes wearily Draco moved to stand by his window and looked down to the grounds at the redhead as she walked towards the lake.

What in the blazes are you doing up here mate? Draco pulled away from the window scrambling to pull on his shoes. Shit, shit, shit – where’s my broom! Pulling the evasive broom from under his bed, Draco leapt into the rain and soared after the redhead. She was making her way to the Quidditch Pitch. Flying higher, Draco looked down as she stopped in the middle and raised her face to the sky, mouth open. Even from his high vantage point he could see her delightful tongue catching the warm drops of rain. Said tongue withdrew and Ginny opened her eyes to stare directly at him. Draco shivered at her look as he sat lazily, making no move to come down.

“No one’s going to whisk me away Draco, you can go back to your Transfiguration homework.”

Draco smirked at her, enjoying her miffed tone and crossed arms. The view from his broom was lovely especially when you noticed the way her small breasts pushed up and together. Ginny scowled at his indifferent attitude and turned around pointedly and walked towards the lake. Allowing himself a small smile, Draco dived alarmingly fast and with his right arm outstretched, grabbed the irate redhead. Draco pulled her onto his broom and relished the way her body fit snugly against his.

Ginny, unfortunately, sat stiffly and seemed to be inching away from him. Now that wouldn’t do and Draco pulled her closer, wrapping his arm tightly around her.

“Shall I yell rape and molestation Draco, because this is unwanted sexual harassment...”

“Who’s done anything sexual? Seems to me Gin that you’ve got something on your mind.”

Ginny shivered as his lips brushed her ear gently and Draco took it as an invitation and dragged her lobe between his teeth. She relaxed slightly but he could feel her annoyance and anger from the way she blew the air through her lips huffily.

“What’s the matter? I’ve come out into the terribly cold rain now.”

“It’s warm,” she said shortly.

And indeed it was considering it was nearing June but Draco found making the task of coming outside sound tiresome and hard essential in the act of pleading forgiveness. Too bad Ginny knew all his tricks. He sighed into her hair and nuzzled her neck gently.

“I’m sorry?”

“About?”

“I had transfig—”

“Due next week.”

“We might get sick.”

“You’re just worried someone will see us.”

Bugger, she pulled it out. Wrenched more like. He was trying to edge towards it and bring it up without any sore feelings. Draco turned the broom as they flew aimlessly around the Quidditch Pitch.

“We could be the secret couple. You know like sign the Official Secrets Act and get special outfits and everything. I do fancy some tight leather pants and black turtle necks.”

“Really now,” said Ginny flatly.

Draco tightened his grip on her waist. “When did you lose your sense of humour?”

“Got it on loan and had to give it back. Happens often you see.”

Draco groaned and guided the broom to the pitch, he wasn’t going to get anywhere with their conversation. As they neared the pitch, Ginny suddenly turned around and pushed him off roughly. Draco grabbed for the broom but grasped at air until he caught her cloak. The two of them fell to the ground and Draco gasped as the wind was knocked out of him. His head bounced against the grass as Ginny’s knees dug into his stomach and her hand on his face. She fell forward onto his chest and they lay on the grass breathing quickly.

Wheezing, Draco pulled her hand from his face and looked up at her incredulously. “What was that all about?”

“I wanted you to fall off.”

“That much was obvious,” he muttered, gingerly shifting her knees from their precarious position near his groin. Ginny planted her hands on either side of his face and stared down at him thoughtfully. Startled, Draco let his hands fall from her thighs to the junction of her knees. Ginny’s breath came out in hot puffs against his chin.

“Do you know my brother thinks I’m a loner?” Ginny let out a sharp laugh and Draco winced. “He thinks I leave the Gryffindor Tower because I have no friends except for Luna, who he doesn’t even count as a human being. Funny all I ever do now is come to your room.”

Ginny raised a hand and allowed her fingers to explore the stubble on his chin as if fascinated that his white porcelain skin was actually real. “He thinks I’m mooning over Harry again since I broke up with Michael. Says I don’t have any mates in my own Year especially since I hang out with Neville now.”

Draco tried not to cringe as she mentioned three boys he loathed. Ginny sighed and began to pull away but Draco raised his head up and caught her lips in a kiss. She froze and Draco raised his hand to hold her face as he kissed her. In defeat he dropped his head back down onto the crisp grass as she failed to return his kiss.

“What do you want from me? I’m not Potter, I’m certainly not Neville, and I suppose I can’t ever live up to Michael Corner.”

Ginny groaned and sat back onto his hips, her hands on his chest. “So you’re just going to go off and be a Death Eater.”

“You know,” she began, “Tom possessed me, he made me try to kill people, and he haunts my dreams, my nightmares.”

“So I’m supposed to avenge your losses?”

“I suppose you wouldn’t,” she said briskly, “after all, I was just a nice lay now and then.”

“Don’t.”

Ginny fell silent and he could see tears beneath her lashes. She struggled with the sleeve of her shirt before admitting defeat and quickly unbuttoning the entire thing. Draco drew in a breath as she shrugged it off, her chest now wet with the rain. His attention was averted as she slid her arm to his face and turned it over revealing the black mark against her skin. His breath caught in his throat and Draco grabbed her wrist roughly.

“When?” He croaked.

“Same time as you,” she said idly staring at the mark. “It wasn’t easy getting in.”

“Ginny,” he breathed, whether it was in disappointment or shock, he himself didn’t know. He reached up and pulled her tightly against him, his cloak and shirt now soaked. The rain fell around them gently mixing with her tears as Draco ran his fingers through her hair. He couldn’t believe she’d joined, that she was even allowed. Her sobs vibrated into his body and Draco found himself trying to shush her, being uncommonly gentle, just holding her. As her sobs subsided, he rose to a sitting position and released her as he unclasped his robe and moved to put it around her. A feeble attempt as the cloak remained soaked through. Ginny stopped him and Draco’s hands fell to his sides.

“Just tonight,” she whispered, “let’s pretend it’s different.”

Wordlessly she pushed him to the floor and unbuttoned his shirt. Draco rose off the ground and pulled it off and lay back down onto the grass. It was itchy and the air smelt of earth and fresh rain but he noticed neither as Ginny leant down to kiss him. Her naked chest was slippery against his due to the rain and the slick feel of her skin against his caused him to moan into her lips. Her mouth was deliciously hot and the taste of her tears was still on her lips.

“I love you,” she mumbled.

“I know.”

—

“Draco left managing the hotel to you?”

Ginny looked up from the schedule at Mr. Mies voice. She couldn’t help shiver at his gaze. There was something wrong with his gaze, something insincere. He pulled out a chair across from her and sat down.

“He went with Alia didn’t he.”

Ginny started at his flat tone. “Y-yes but I’m sure it’s nothing at all.”

Mies smiled tightly. “My dear that should be the least of your worries.”

A tightly held wand pointed towards her threateningly and Ginny glanced quickly towards the tabletop where her own wand lay.

“Your wand will remain where it is Miss Weasley.”

—

“Ginny!”

The acrid smell of smoke made Ginny’s eyes tear as she fought her way through the clutter of bodies on the floor towards her brother. His arm was wrapped around Harry protectively who was bleeding profusely from his shoulder.

“Ron?” She croaked.

Ron rested Harry onto the floor and scooped Ginny into a hug, burying his face into her neck.

“Ginny, oh Ginny.”

Ginny felt a fresh wave of tears come on as she held her older brother’s shaking body. She stroked his hair and murmured nonsense.

“I forgive you Ginny. I forgive you.”

He pulled her tightly to him before releasing her a bit. “I love you Gin.”

“I love you too Ron,” Ginny choked out.

“One day,” he said with a short laugh, “one day we’ll be at the Burrow, surrounded by red-headed brats. And you’ll be there Gin. Love makes us do stupid things. I know you’re really good.”

Ron’s body suddenly slumped against hers, his breath rushing out as his grip loosened on her waist. Ginny stumbled with his weight and she pulled away wide-eyed staring into the lifeless ones of her brother.

“Ron?” Ginny made a strangled sob as she clutched his body to her. “Ron!”

“Ginny.”

Harry’s soft voice pulled her gaze to him before catching sight of the Death Eater standing before her, wand pointed towards her. Ginny bowed her head and closed her eyes. Love hurt too much, she thought idly. Her hand absently stroked Ron’s soot stained hair before she stood to face the Death Eater. To face her own side.

“Avada Kedavra!”

Harry’s hoarse voice jarred Ginny’s senses and the Death Eater spun around in surprise and moved to run but the curse caught him in the chest. With a soft gasp he fell to the floor. Ginny’s eyes shot from the Death Eater to Harry as he slumped against the ground again. She rushed towards him and ran her hand over his forehead.

“Harry?”

“Where’s Hermione?

“I-I don’t know.”

Harry’s eyes slid closed as sadness etched into his face. “Ron?”

“You saw Harry. Ron’s…Ron’s gone.”

—

“You murdered your own comrade.”

Ginny stared at Mies wordlessly as his face contorted in fury. His hand shook slightly before he stilled it and glared at her venomously.

“You murdered my brother whore.”

“He murdered mine,” she said softly.

“He was supposed to!”

“Harry Potter murdered your brother.” Ginny looked up at Mies finally. “He was supposed to as well.”

“A lying whore.”

“I’m not a whore.”

“You’d do well not to talk back Miss Weasley.”

“I’m not afraid to die.”

“Get up.”

Ginny rose and was shoved roughly towards the door. Mies seemed unsatisfied as she caught her balance and he pushed her forcefully to the floor. Catching herself by her hands, Ginny bit her lip against the pain that shot up her arms on impact.

“Run Miss Weasley. Alia is out for blood, and yours the most. You’re beneath me to kill. Alia will do it slowly and will enjoy it. After shagging Monsieur Malfoy, she will be exceptionally ready for it.”

Mies smiled at her pained look. “Yes, you’re not even anything to Malfoy.”

With that he pushed her out into the snow, standing at the doorway as she stumbled away from the steps.

—

As she was pulled out from beneath the undergrowth, Ginny drew in a sharp breath. “Draco?”

Draco glared at her fiercely tugging her to himself. She tentatively wrapped her arms around his neck as he held her. He breathed jaggedly into her hair, his breaths slowly falling into a steady rhythm.

“You fool.”

Ginny pushed at him angrily. She struggled against his vice-like grip but Draco only pulled away his upper body so he could look down on her.

“I’m sorry.”

“Doesn’t cut it this time Draco!”

“I’m not talking about only the Mies!”

Ginny stopped flailing her arms. “Neither am I.”

“It couldn’t happen then Gin. Us. We couldn’t. We can now.”

“We could have three years ago Draco.”

Draco’s breath caught. “You don’t love me anymore.”

“It’s hard to love someone who uses your body and treats you with disgust! Let go of me!”

“No.”

“Gods. How could you do this. How can you say that now. I’m a person Draco, I’m not your toy and I’m not your whore.”

“I never said--"

“But you used me. You used me when you were rejected, you used me when you felt angry. You used me because you had nowhere else to go.”

“Maybe it was where I always wanted to be!”

“Maybe you don’t know what love is!”

Draco stared silently at her.

“You said that remember. You broke very belief I had in it and I had in you. Maybe you broke even me. Do you remember?”

“I remember Ginny!”

She slammed her fists into his chest. “So stop pretending! You don’t love me. You never will. You don’t love me for me. You love the idea of me.”

Draco let go of her and stepped away. He dug into his cloak and pulled out a money bag. “Here. Go. It’s enough to find an inn, and get food. Use your wand to call a Night Bus.”

Ginny took the bag wordlessly, staring down at it. “I don’t have my wand.”

“Use mine. Find Potter. Granger and he found a place where his parents used to live. You can visit your family. Potter will take you. They’re buried where your house was.”

“Mies?”

“Forget about Mies.”

“My mark…”

“Dark magic, it was an illusion. Voldemort’s dead.”

“What about Alia?”

“You’ll be safe Gi--" Draco faltered. “You’ll be safe alright.”

“And you?”

“What about me?” As she made no reply Draco seemed to hesitate, but found some resolve at her indifferent attitude.

“Find Potter. Don’t live on your own yet,” he said, handing her his wand.

“You’re letting me go?”

“You’re letting yourself go.”

Draco turned and began to trudge back towards the hotel. Ginny watched him go, the dull ache in her throat slowly diminishing. He turned back and their eyes met before he gave a curt nod. Ginny smiled and waved, but later glad he’d turned too quickly to see the false gestures.

She stared at his wand, her fingers clenched tightly around the wood as she held it up in the air. With a screech the large purple bus stopped in front of her and Ginny glanced quickly towards Draco. It was too dark to see him and Ginny cast her eyes towards the harsh light of the bus in disappointment.

Don't build your world around volcanoes, they'll melt you down...

“Ma’am?”

“Leaky Cauldron please.”

“That’ll be two Galleons ma’am.”

Ginny climbed into the bus and paid her fare. As she made her way down to one of the empty beds she avoided the gazes of the other passengers. Lying down at last on one lumpy bed she closed her eyes and tried to feel the elation of finally getting out.

--

“Come here Ron. No don’t shake your head at me! Ron!” Ginny chased after the small boy before scooping him up and holding him gently. He smiled at her before resting his head against her chest.

“Yours?”

Ginny glanced up sharply at Draco. His hands were thrust deeply into his pockets against the cold bite of winter. His hair was more of a shaggy mop now than before and brooding grey eyes looked out beneath his dark brows.

Ginny hefted Ron onto her hip. “No. Harry and Hermione’s.”

“Ah. I can see it now.”

She glanced down at Ron, relieved to look away from Draco’s piercing gaze. “Have kids yourself?”

“We tried. Pansy’s sterile.”

“I’m sorry.”

Draco gave a small smile. “She isn’t, doesn’t want to ruin her figure.”

“What’re you doing here Draco?”

Draco smile fell. “To see you.”

“Why?”

“It’s a public park, I saw you, decided to be polite.”

“You had a year to be polite.”

“I was getting married.”

“And now?”

“Divorced.”

“Today’s marriages never last long.”

“We’d last.”

Ginny picked up the toddler’s bag and swept past Draco. “There is no we.”

She blinked rapidly, rubbing Ron’s back to comfort herself more than him. To her surprise, cold snow slammed into the back of her head before sliding beneath her coat. Ginny spun around angrily.

“Stop being so stubborn Ginny!”

“Stop being so immature!” She spat back, shaking the snow from her coat.

“I love you you idiot.”

Ginny gazed at him. “I know.”

“No Ginny. I love you. I want you to marry me, I want us to be happy.”

“I am happy.”

Draco looked unsettled for a moment as he considered this. “Well I’m miserable.”

“Come here.”

Ginny scrutinized him as he walked towards her. His eyes were bloodshot and wrinkles creased his skin. Age does that Ginny, it isn’t about you. Her fingers grazed the corner of his eye where the gentle creases lay. His silver eyes that never used to be so open.

“You got old.”

“So did you,” Draco said defensively, his expression softened. “You’re still beautiful though.”

Ginny tilted her face up to his and caught his lips gently. A warm, soft kiss that sent tingles down her spine. Draco’s hands sought her hair but Ginny pulled away and rested her forehead against his cheek.

“How long can you love me for?”

He gave a choked laugh. “I don’t think there’s a limit.”

Ginny smiled.

“Want to walk us home?”

“I’d love to.”

—

*re-reads fic* Hmm… Ginny cries an awful lot in my fics doesn’t she? *grin* Ah well, it’s necessary someone in Draco and Ginny’s relationship can display emotion.

“CITATIONS” – Yeah some jokes occurred between me and my friends and I thought it best to give credit where it is deserved =)

To Michael!

J: “When did you lose your sense of humour?”

Michael: “Got it on loan.” *resumes grumpy scowl*

To Arianne!

“We could be the secret couple. You know like sign the Official Secrets Act and get special outfits and everything. I do fancy some tight leather pants and black turtle necks.”

Arianne actually started talking about an “Official Secrets Act” when she was bi*ching with me about how gossip spreads like wildfire and that we should all sign/make an act where things told in confidence should be kept secret. I just embellished on the idea to suit relationships and my fic ^^

“Basically our denied emotions continue to grow until they begin affecting us both physically and mentally. The pressure to act on what we feel is a normal, and denying or delaying that need only creates a greater need. Since our emotions can't be expressed the way they were designed to be expressed, they find a way to exert themselves in some other aberrant behavior, as unique as the individual themselves.”

This I got from research in a Psychology project I was doing. The article’s really interesting – ABCs of Emotion I used this quote because it added a more school-like feeling to the class and also when I read it I couldn’t help think of Draco.

The angst of my fic was inspired by devils-biatch99’s “Learn to Hate”. While my Draco isn’t a total cruel bastard, he was fashioned after hers in a milder form. Do read her fic, it’s deliciously angsty and extremely well written.