With Secrets To Keep

Professor Ember Kinsar

Rating: NC17
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 21/02/2004
Last Updated: 21/02/2004
Status: in_progress

Answer to Lover's challenge from the NC17 board. Harry and Hermione have a lot of secrets from their friends, among them being members of the Order of the Phoenix as well as having found a bed buddy in each other. But will this new development be a steppingstone to something greater? Or will it be an obstacle for their true happiness?

Chapters

1. A new chapter unfolds

1. A new chapter unfolds

"You’re working too hard Harry."

Hermione Granger criticized her friend Harry Potter as they entered the common room.

"Sod off Hermione!"

Harry snarled turning to her his eyes blazing with a fury few could withstand. Hermione, however, was less affected than most.

"Don’t you tell me to sod off Harry Potter! I’m looking out for you because for some God only knows reason you refuse to look out for yourself! And whether or not you’ll realize it, this is not how Sirius would want you to live."

Harry advanced on her quickly power emanating from every pore. He was soon standing over her, looming over her was more like it. He shook with rage and something else. Anyone less attuned to Harry wouldn’t be able to understand it but Hermione did. She reached a hand to his cheek and with that one touch all Harry’s anger seemed to dissipate. His shoulders slumped as he let her wrap her arms around him.

"How do you do it Mione?"

His voice was muffled against her robes. Hermione laughed for a moment.

"So it’s Mione now is it?"

She teased him and regretted it when she felt him tense.

"Shhhh…. Harry it’s all right. I was only teasing."

She stroked her hand gently down his back and then up again letting her fingers curl in his hair. She felt him relax once more as she continued to massage his scalp. His arms tightened around her, his grip almost desperate.

"I can’t lose you Mione. Please tell me I won’t lose you."

His voice was so plaintive it broke her heart and yet she could make no such promise and he knew this. Anything could happen, no one had expected Sirius to fall through that gateway but he had and just as easily as that had happened something could happen to Hermione. Or Harry. Or any number of their friends and loved ones. So instead of making false promises she pulled back from the embrace to look at him. His vivid green eyes looked at her in confusion.

"Come on Harry, let’s get you cleaned up. I know that wound on your side has got to be painful."

Harry grimaced.

"Now that you mention it, it does hurt."

Hermione smiled at him as she let him go. Making her way up to her room she said

"I’ll get the first aid kit, go ahead and take off your shirt and I’ll help you wrap your side."

Harry stripped off his robes and then his jumper after which his tie and shirt made their way to the floor. He sat down on the couch and dropped his head in his hands. Reaching one hand back he began to massage his neck but a pair of soft gentle hands halted his movements.

"I’ll get that. You won’t do any good anyway."

Harry made a move to retort but it was drown out by a moan as Hermione hit a particularly sore spot.

"Tell me again why we can’t use magic to heal ourselves."

Harry asked trying to keep a clear head. Hermione was always too good at this and often when she rubbed his neck he fell asleep. He didn’t want a repeat of last time when he fell asleep on top of her, completely pinning her to the couch.

"Because the Order wants us to be able to continue to work like nothing happened even if we are wounded."

Hermione replied applying pressure to the spot between his right shoulder and his neck. Harry gave himself up to the massage as he thought on these last few months. Dumbledore’s requesting that he and Hermione come to his office, finding out that the Order of the Phoenix wanted to recruit them, dealing with Snape and his damned Occlumancy lessons. And top of it all he and Hermione were now both teaching small classes of DA students. As well as their Prefect duties, his Quidditch practice and Hermione’s ridiculous study schedule. It didn’t help either that they had to keep being members of the Order from everyone they knew, including Ron. That was a hard secret to keep, especially from his best friend. Harry knew Hermione was having difficulties with having to lie about their whereabouts as well. He sighed and brought himself back to Hermione’s ministrations. Harry watched as she wrapped the bandage tight around his middle, her fingers grazing his skin occasionally and causing goose bumps to race up and down his arms.

"Are you cold?"

Hermione asked rubbing his arms gently to warm him up. But the continued contact was doing nothing to help him. He stilled her hands and pulled her to a standing position in front of him then back down so she was now sitting on his lap. He pushed a stray piece of hair out of her face.

"You know it’s your turn now don’t you?"

Hermione blushed slightly as she began to stutter

"Har-Harry, that’s quite all right thank you I believe I can handle it on my own."

Harry’s brow furrowed.

"Hermione, that hit you took would have laid me out flat for the rest of the week. I want to make sure you’re all right."

She tried to stand up but he kept her where she was despite how it pulled his wounded side.

"Harry really I’m fi-"

He cut her off

"I’ll believe that when I see it for myself. You go on and on about how I work myself too hard when I haven’t gone to bed and had you there before me, nor have I gotten up to find you still asleep."

Hermione shook her head at his reproachful manner.

"That’s not exactly new is it Harry."

Harry growled in frustration.

"You know what I mean Hermione. You’re working yourself ragged again. This is just like third year."

He stopped as a thought hit him.

"You’re not using the Time Turner again are you?"

Hermione hastened to reassure him.

"I’d hardly be foolish enough to do that again Harry. I’m fine really."

Harry got that stubborn look in his eye he was so well known for.

"As I said, I’ll believe that when I see it for myself."

He began tugging at her robe clasps with one hand while the other continued to hold her hands in place. Hermione blushed crimson, a rather fetching color on her as far as Harry was concerned.

"Harry, I’ll take care of it, really I’ll be fine."

Her protests fell on deaf ears though as Harry managed to undo first her robes and then the white shirt beneath. His gaze roved over her skin until he caught sight of what he was looking for. A gash racing along her abdomen. It was bleeding and there was pus oozing from its edges. He traced the edge lightly with his fingers but withdrew quickly when he heard her sharp intake of breath. He turned saddened eyes to her.

"Why are you doing this?"

She smiled slightly and was going to give him one of her trademark retorts but the openness of his gaze demanded the same honesty from her.

"I want to be prepared Harry. You’re going to need us when the time comes."

Harry’s eyes darkened. His mouth was set in a firm line and Hermione knew that as much as he’d wanted honesty he didn’t like her answer.

"Harry, you can’t protect us all. You’ll need hel-"

He cut her off by gently pushing her off his lap and getting up himself. He pushed her shirt from her shoulders and tried not to allow her scent to distract him. It was hard and as he cleansed the wound and heard her strangled gasps of pain he wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms until she was better. She meant the world to him and she didn’t even see it. Finally the task was completed. Harry gathered the supplies of the first aid kit and closing the container handed it back to Hermione without so much as a word. This set Hermione’s temper to boiling.

"You don’t own the rights to grieving for Sirius, Harry."

He turned and for the second time that night his eyes blazed with green fire.

"Really? Is that so?"

He ground out between gritted teeth.

"Yes, that’s so. You act like no one else around you cared about Sirius or was affected by his death. Well guess what Harry, we all have been. Do you –"

She trailed off. She wasn’t going to do this with him. She made a move to get to her room but he blocked her way.

"Do I what Hermione?"

She pulled at her arm but he wasn’t budging.

"Nothing. It was nothing. Look we’re both tired and I think we should get some sleep."

She refused to look him in the eye and that’s when he knew something was seriously off.

"Hermione. Talk to me."

His change of tone surprised her. She looked up at him and wished she hadn’t, that look always pulled the truth from her.

"I should have paid attention."

She muttered softly. Harry was confused.

"What do you mean "paid attention"?"

Hermione shook her head as tears glittered in her eyes.

"If I’d been paying attention Dolohov wouldn’t have hit me with that spell and then I wouldn’t have been knocked out and maybe I could have done something to help Sirius."

Damn. His guilt complexes were rubbing off on people now.

"Something like what Hermione?"

She shook her head wiping her face.

"I don’t know, something, anything. If I were any kind of friend I’d have been able to help you."

Damn again.

"In the name of all the Seven Hells Hermione. You’re daft if you believe that there was anything you could have done. Good Lord, is this how you feel when you have to help me?"

Hermione looked up at him in confusion.

"How do you feel?"

Harry ran a hand through his hair as he began to pace.

"Helpless. Completely worthless to do anything to help you. You need me and all I can think to do is just hold you and hope it helps."

Harry’s eyes began to tear up.

"I never meant to give you the impression that I didn’t think you cared about Sirius. I know you did. That’s just how you are. It’s just that watching him go over like that, so suddenly-"

Hermione took him in her arms again and just held him as they both cried out their grief. Neither of them realizing at first that they were still without their shirts. That was until they pulled back and felt the warmth of skin brushing against skin. Harry gazed down at Hermione as another jolt of that wonderful fire from before surged through him. She looked up at him expectantly and he raised his hand to cup her face gently. Moving a thumb over her lips he parted them and felt Hermione’s breath as it moved against his skin.

"I want to kiss you."

Simple. Straightforward and direct. Something Harry had trouble with at times. But here he knew what he wanted and he was going for it.

"Are you going to?"

Hermione continued to look up at him. Her brow arched and she got one of her sardonic smiles.

"Yes, just not here."

He smiled gently and released her for a moment.

"Wait here."

He whispered as he went to go upstairs. Hermione turned towards the fire and watched the flames jumping around. She heard Harry mutter an oath and she turned to see him hurrying back towards her. Suddenly she was in his arms and his lips were against hers. His tongue sought entrance and she granted it without hesitation. His fingers traced patterns along her spine and Hermione thought she might come unglued from the intensity of it all. Finally when breathing became necessary once more they broke apart. Hermione smiled at him.

"What happened to "not here"?"

Harry smiled and claimed her lips quickly once more.

"I needed to know what it was like."

Hermione moved towards him again but he pulled away and was up the stairs like a shot. It was only a minute or so before he was back holding an all too familiar silver cloak in his hands. He unfurled it and threw it over both his and Hermione’s heads taking full advantage of their closeness by pulling her to him and tasting the skin of her neck. He pulled back again and gestured for her to follow closely. They left the common room through the portrait hole and made their way silently to the seventh floor. Hermione knew what this meant. The Room of Requirements. Harry stopped for a moment and looked at the door, he seemed to be concentrating. Which, given what this room could do, was a pretty safe guess. Harry startled Hermione by pulling her to him once more. His lips and hands began an exploration of her that Hermione was afraid would get them caught, seeing as how he’d found that spot just below her ear that drove her absolutely mad. Both of Hermione’s hands had been at her side but she raised one to try to put a barrier between her and Harry for a moment but Harry chose that precise second to move and Hermione’s hand brushed against his forming erection. Harry gasped as he fell against Hermione, his closeness giving her an even greater feel of him. She moaned against his mouth as her hand found him and stroked him through his trousers. Harry pulled Hermione away from the door and opened it swiftly. Neither of them bothered to look at what the room had created for them they were so wrapped up in one another. Harry pushed Hermione through the entryway and followed her quickly and shut the door behind him. Once inside he knelt down and began to rain kisses across Hermione’s belly, careful to avoid her wound from earlier. His hands moved to her hips and back to her arse where he squeezed gently. Hermione moaned and it was here that Harry thought it would be a good idea for a silencing spell on the room. He stood up quickly and pulled out his wand. He gave a quick sharp flick of his wrist and uttered a simple

"Silencio."

At the walls and door. During his task Hermione had begun to take in their surroundings. There was a huge four-poster bed in the middle of the room. Its lush velvet duvet and soft pillows were made up of different shades of blue. Hermione went over to the bed and sat down on the edge. Harry followed and kissed her hungrily.

"You always did look good in blue."

He growled around her lips. Harry pushed her back onto the bed and lifted her legs as well then he climbed up next to her and just let his eyes drink in the sight of her. She reached for him but he caught her hand and kissed her fingers.

"I want to look at you."

Hermione blushed and ran a hand down his chest feeling the planes and grooves there. She placed a kiss on his chest just above his nipple causing Harry to arch closer to her.

"I thought you were going to let me look at you."

He half complained. Hermione grasped his belt without a word and began to undo the offending article. Once that task was finished she set about undoing his trousers and getting them down his legs, unfortunately she had to remove his shoes and socks first and really there is no graceful way to do that, finally he lay there before her wearing nothing but his black boxers, his glasses and a shy smile. She pushed a lock of hair off his forehead and kissed him gently. They continued to kiss, long, languid kisses. The fever had somewhat dissipated, but Harry was trying to steadily restoke the flame. His hands moved along her thighs up under her skirt until he was almost at the juncture of her legs and then he pulled back causing Hermione to groan in frustration. She moved against him and he smiled slightly.

"Undress for me Hermione."

The request was simple and if Hermione wanted this ache in her stomach to go away she would have to comply. She began to undo her skirt when Harry’s hands stopped her.

"No. Go over by the door. I want to see you. All of you."

For what seemed like the millionth time that night Hermione could feel her face burning. She got up off the bed and walked towards the door. When she turned around she saw Harry was no longer wearing his boxers. She could clearly see his long, hard length completely ready for her. She watched as his hand gripped his shaft gently and his thumb moved over the head of his penis to spread the precum.

"Undress Hermione."

Came his request again. His voice huskier, deeper and able to completely turn her on. She again reached behind her to undo her skirt as she watched Harry watching her, his hand beginning to move. She was lost in his movements, and before long she was wearing nothing but her knickers as she watched Harry slowly jerk himself.

"Everything Mione."

He practically begged. She hooked her fingers in the waistband of her panties and pulled them down over her hips and let them slide down her legs to the floor. She stood there a moment with her hair attempting to cover her breasts from his eyes and yet not quite succeeding. The picture this created was one of sensuality and innocence, which only served to increase Harry’s desire for her even more. He motioned for her to join him on the bed again and as she came towards him he leaned up and pulled the covers down and then moved to sit back on the bottom sheet. Hermione reached the bed and climbed under with him. Instantly he had her against his body and his lips against hers. His hands moved to her breasts and began running his fingers feather light over her skin. Hermione arched towards him wanting him to touch her breasts, to try to ease some of the tension there. Finally Harry’s hands found her straining nipples, as did his mouth. He bit down on one nipple, rolling it against the roof of his mouth as his hand kneaded the supple flesh of her other breast. Hermione’s mewls of pleasure drove Harry almost to the brink of insanity but he pulled himself back under control. Harry moved down her body, again mindful of her wound, and continued down until he reached her center. He kissed her mound gently, feeling the courser hair against his chin. He used his hands to part her legs and settled himself in her cradle. He used a thumb to manipulate her clit, it paid to know the Weasley twins if only for their collection of wizard pornography, as his thumb moved in circles Hermione’s cries grew even louder. She began to move against his hand and used one of hers to press his closer to her. His other hand moved to her opening and there he slid in first one then two fingers. As his fingers moved deftly inside of her she continued to buck against him. Harry could feel her insides tightening around his fingers until finally Hermione cried out and began riding his hand quickly. Finally she calmed down and Harry leaned into her center once more. This time using his lips and tongue to manipulate her, to bring her to the edge again. And bring her to the edge again he did, and when she was there he pushed her right over into pleasure’s abyss. When Hermione came down from that high Harry moved up to lay beside her and Hermione pulled him so that he was resting between her legs. She bent her knees and placed her feet flat against the bed. Harry was going to let Hermione rest awhile, but apparently that was not the plan. For as he lay there, her hand snaked down and grabbed his engorged member. Up to this point Harry had been exercising tremendous control but as soon as her tiny hand wrapped around him, he was at her entrance subtly pushing, begging for access. Hermione kissed him, tasting herself on his lips, and pulled him down on top of her while simultaneously arching her hips to his. Harry took this to mean she was ready. He grasped his cock firmly and placed it at her opening and then he leaned down to kiss her. Pulling away he whispered

"Bite my shoulder."

Hermione looked at him confused but at his steady gaze she did as he requested. As soon as his skin was between her teeth he thrust forward breaking through her maidenhood. As the pain ripped through her Hermione’s teeth closed around the flesh she held in her mouth. She could taste blood but its significance didn’t register for a moment. When the pain began to go away she let go of Harry’s shoulder and looked at the mark she had made.

"Harry, I’m so sorry I-"

Harry shook his head as he held himself inside of her.

"Don’t apologize. I knew what would happen."

Hermione leaned up and kissed him gently. After a moment or two more she began to move her hips against his. Taking the hint Harry began a rhythm, rocking his body in long, slow movements. It was rather awkward that first time, but after awhile they seemed to get the hang of it. It wasn’t long before Harry could feel Hermione’s inner muscles beginning to flutter and soon she was gripping his shoulders as she arched up off the bed. A high keening sound came from her lips as her vaginal walls gripped Harry’s organ almost painfully and she proceeded to milk his seed from him. Harry collapsed on top of Hermione attempting to get his breathing under control. Once he was a bit calmer he moved to retreat from her body but she just held onto him tighter. He looked down at her.

"I don’t want to crush you."

She leaned up and kissed him.

"You won’t."

Harry gazed down at the girl in his arms. She was so beautiful, so innocent, so pure. And then as quick as lightening the vision before him changed and he was holding a lifeless Hermione in his arms. Hermione saw the change in his eyes, felt him stiffen against her. She moved his sweat damp hair from his forehead and traced his scar gently.

"If it would make you feel better we don’t have to tell anyone."

She’d read his mind, like always. Harry looked at her, seeing her as she was once more.

"I want everyone to know. I just don’t want to risk you being hurt because of this. I can’t lose you Hermione."

Hermione pulled Harry down so his head was lying on her chest.

"No promises there Harry, but I will do my best to stay safe if you’ll promise the same thing."

She felt Harry smile against her skin.

"I’ll try."

Hermione sighed a bit and Harry looked up at her.

"What’s the matter?"

Hermione looked out the window to the left of them and sighed again.

"This was incredible Harry, but you realize that this is just one more secret we’ll be keeping from Ron."

Harry winced at the mention of his other best friend.

"If you’re worried about that silly crush of his I’m sure he’s over it by now. Especially with the way he’s been mooning over Luna."

Harry kissed the skin beneath him as he shook his head slightly.

"I’d like to think that, but he’s always considered you to sort of be his."

Hermione let out a bark of laughter.

"His? I’m his? Does he really not know me or is he just good at pretend?"

Harry bit down softly on the side of her breast and then laved the spot with his tongue.

"He knows you, that’s why he never said anything to you about it. But you’re right about one thing. We’re going to have to lie to him about this too."

Hermione shifted beneath him.

"Harry?"

"Hmmm?"

Hermione moved her hands across his back slowly.

"Was this just a one night thing or is this something?"

Harry looked at her seriously.

"You know I would never use you don’t you?"

"Of course! I just meant what is this?"

Hermione gestured helplessly at their surroundings.

"I don’t know Hermione. I think this is something we’ll just have to take a step at a time."

Hermione nodded.

"Yes, yes I think you’re right Harry."

Harry grinned.

"How I do love hearing you say that."

Hermione laughed out loud.

"But I like hearing you say my name when you come even more."

Hermione’s laughter died abruptly She looked at Harry and saw the way his eyes had changed and flet him harden within her.

"Looks like we’re both up for another round."

She said as they began what would be the second of many time for them that night.

TBC……