Hogwart's Karaoke

Professor Ember Kinsar

Rating: PG
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 18/03/2004
Last Updated: 30/03/2004
Status: in_progress

As Dumbledore is a strange man he has decided that Hogwarts should hold an annual Karaoke Festival. This of course means all students must participate. What song will each sing and will Hermione's song of love be enough to finally get Harry's attention? Also has R/L and D/G. Chap3 up. Enjoy!

Chapters

1. untitled

2. Time

3. Finnegan

1. untitled

Setting: Three Broomsticks

Hermione Granger had just entered the Three Broomsticks when he was accosted by one of his best friends Ron Weasley.

"Where ya been Hermione? We've all been waiting for you, Dumbledore's about to announce his surprise."

Hermione shook her head in confusion. Ever since the Headmaster of her school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, had announced there would be a special activity at the next Hogsmeade weekend everyone had been in an uproar over what it could be. Hermione wondered this herself as Ron dragged her over to the table where their other best friend Harry Potter, Ron's sister Ginny, her boyfriend Draco Malfoy and Ron's girlfriend Luna Lovegood were all sitting. Ron practically threw her into the booth next to Harry before running over to snuggle with Luna.

"Sorry about that Mione."

He said looking over at her. Hermione felt she was blushing. Harry misinterpreted it as he asked her if she was too warm.

"No Harry, I'm fine."

Hermione tried to keep the patronizing tone out of her voice but it was hard to when the boy sitting next to her was so bloody daft. She often wondered just how he got that shiny Head Boy badge that was pinned to his cloak. She supposed killing a Dark Lord had to be good for something. Mentally she smacked herself for her insensitive thoughts about Harry; it wasn't his fault he was so clueless about how she felt. After all growing up with the Dursleys would leave anyone emotionally stunted. She leaned into him a bit and smiled as his arm wrapped around her the way it always did. No one even blinked, as they did this all the time. Who would notice that her hands were sweating and she could hardly breathe for the desperate desire she had to kiss him? She-

"Hermione?"

was unceremoniously interrupted in her thoughts as Ginny waved a hand in front of her face.

"Yes?"

Ginny threw her a pitying look, as she too knew what it was to pine for the Boy-Who-Lived. Hermione threw her a withering look in return. Ginny wisely chose not to say anything.

"You were lost in thought so I figured you'd like to be pulled out now as Dumbledore's about to make his announcement."

So he was. Hermione blinked a moment sure she wasn't seeing what she thought she was seeing. A stage, in the middle of the Three Broomsticks? And not just any kind of a stage, but one with a monitor that had words running across it. It couldn't be could it? Even Dumbledore was not this horribly, irreversibly insane. Dumbledore clapped his hands for silence and as he spoke Hermione could tell he had put the Sonorous charm on himself.

"Welcome students, teachers and patrons to the first annual Hogwarts Karaoke Festival."

Ok, so maybe he was. Hermione looked around at the confused faces of her companions as well as those of the other occupants of the pub. Ron leaned over and whispered,

"What's Carryahke?"

Hermione shook her head.

"Karaoke Ron. It's a muggle form of cheap entertainment. You sing a bunch of silly songs and the words go across the screen up there as you sing."

Ron nodded sagely although Hermione had a sneaking suspicion that her explanation had done nothing to help him understand. Hermione looked up as Dumbledore began to speak again.

"I will be selecting the names of random students to come up and participate. But first I will kick of the festivities by singing Spectacular, Spectacular from the movie Moulin Rouge."

Hermione's hand met her forehead with a smack. Since when did Dumbledore watch muggle movies, especially Moulin Rouge? Again confusion gripped the public, muggleborn students were obviously wondering the same thing she had as nonmuggleborns were most likely wondering what a movie was. Hermione's head stayed in her hand as the music started and Dumbledore began to warble the song.

It will be... Spectacular, spectacular!

No words of the vernacular

Can describe this great event

You'll be dumb with wonderment

Returns are fixed at ten percent

You must agree, that's excellent

And on top of your fee

You'll be involved artistically

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will run for fifty years

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will for fifty years

Each verse was punctuated by a short shuffle of the old wizard's feet and then he would launch into a strange rendition of the Can-Can. It was all Hermione could do to watch. Ron apparently wasn't having a much better time.

"Bloody Hell he's finally gone `round the bend."

The others, obviously too stunned to speak, nodded their heads in silent agreement.

Elephants

Bohemians

Indians

And courtesans

Acrobats

And juggling bears

Exotic girls

Fire-eaters!

Muscle men and contortionists

Intrigue danger and romance

Electric lights

Machinery

Oh the electricity!

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will run for fifty years

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will run for fifty years

Spectacular, Spectacular

No words of the vernacular

Can describe this great event

You'll be dumb with wonderment

The hills are alive

With the sound of music

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will run for fifty years

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will run for fifty years

The courtesan and sitar man

Are pulled apart by an evil plan

But in the end she hears his song

And their love is just too strong

It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will run for fifty years

The sitar player's secret song

Helps them flee the evil one

Though the tyrant rants and rails

It is all to no avail

I am the evil maharajah

You will not escape!

Oh Harold, no one could play him like you could.

No one's going to.

So exciting

We'll make them laugh, we'll make them cry

So delighting

And in the end should someone die?

So exciting

The audience will stomp and cheer

So delighting

It will run for fifty years

Generally I like it

As the song wound down the lights, which Hermione had not noticed being dimmed earlier, began to get brighter. Dumbledore sang the final chord and the music stopped and after a moment of stunned silence the crowd erupted in cheers. The old wizard was given a standing ovation as his Head Boy and Girl along with their companions continued to regard him with bewilderment.

"That was as unholy a sight as I ever want to behold for the rest of my life."

Harry muttered under his breath. Ginny snickered as Draco shook his head in disbelief and the others at the table laughed softly.

"And just think, we all get to get up there and do the same thing."

Luna said in her breathy voice. That stopped the laughter completely. They all looked at each other. Dumbledore had said he was going to randomly pick names. Who would be the first chosen? They turned in unison back to the stage as Dumbledore picked up a goblet reminiscent of the one used for the choosing of the Champions of the Tri Wizard Tournament in fourth year. As he put his hand in smoke began to pour out of the cup and with a pop out came a small slip of paper. Dumbledore opened it and read out the name.

"Ginny Weasley will be our first student performer."

Ginny blanched. Draco smirked in that horribly annoying way that only he could.

"Go on Love, let's hear that lovely voice of yours."

Everyone knew Ginny did not like to sing in public and Draco seemed to find her discomfort perversely funny. Hermione leaned over Harry and gave her a small hug.

"Go on Ginny, we're all rooting for you. Even your prat of a boyfriend."

Ginny nodded against Hermione's shoulder and pulled back, a determined look on her face. She nudged Harry and both he and Hermione scooted out of the booth so Ginny could make her way to the stage. Once she was there Dumbledore performed the Sonorous charm on Ginny and backed away letting the scared girl take center stage. Hermione could see her swallow hard and take a few deep breaths. Ginny's hands were visibly shaking and then Hermione saw her look over at their table and the shaking stopped. Ginny's eyes narrowed as she caught Draco's sneer once more.

"Uh oh."

Hermione thought to herself. This would not be pretty for young Mister Malfoy. Ginny lifted her chin and still looking her boyfriend in the eye spoke.

"I'll be singing Time by Sarah McLachlin."

Hermione recognized the song as she had the CD. She and Ginny had spent a good deal of time memorizing the songs they thought best suited themselves and their friends. She only hoped Ginny could remember the lyrics.

TBC…

2. Time

Draco's POV

Draco sat in the booth trapped between Potter and Lovegood, his girlfriend up on stage getting ready to sing in this bizarre, what was it again?, oh yes karaoke thing. She'd been pissed at him for his comments and he knew she'd seen him smirking at her. He couldn't help himself really, there weren't many things Ginny wasn't confident about and sometimes he felt the need to push her buttons. To shake her up a bit. But he could tell she was in no mood to be mocked, not about her singing in public. For the life of him, Draco could not see why singing in public was so horrible for her, she had a very sweet voice. Not professional to be sure, but lovely nonetheless. He looked up sharply when she began to speak.

“I'm going to sing Time by Sarah McLachlan.”

Damn. He watched her eyes flash as they met his. Her chin lifted defiantly and then her voice was carried to him, moving him in a way nothing, not even magic ever had.

“Time here,
all but means nothing, just shadows that move across the wall.
They keep me company, but they don't ask of me
they don't say nothing at all.
And I need just a little more silence
and I need just a little more time”

Draco sucked in a breath, her eyes continued to challenge him and he could feel his pulse quicken. Damn her, damn her to the flames she came from. No one should have such control over a Malfoy, especially the dragon himself, no one even a goddess of fire.

“But you send your thieves to me
silently stalking me
Dragging me into your wall
Would you give me no choice in this?
I know you can't resist, trying to reopen a sore.

Leave me be, I don't want to argue
I'd just get confused and I'd come all undone.
If I agree, well, it's just to appease you
Cause I don't remember what we're fighting for.”

Draco vaguely recalled the time a few days after they had begun seeing each other. That insipid little Creevey, he fit his name really, thought he had the right to attempt to cajole Ginny into a date with him.

Flashback:

Colin looked at Ginny nervously as she waited patiently for him to ask his question.

“Well Ginny, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?”

Draco's blood had boiled at the nerve. He walked up and stood beside Ginny glaring ferociously.

“She's not available.”

He sneered slightly and was given great satisfaction as the younger Gryffindor had practically shrieked and run back down the hall. Ginny had been less pleased. Without a word she had turned and stormed away from him. It took him two weeks to get her to talk to him again, he'd even apologized to Creevey for his interruption.

Draco was brought sharply back to the hear and now as Ginny continued to sing.

“You see love-- a tight, thorny thread that you spin in a circle of gold
you have me to hold me
a token for all to see
captured to be yours alone.”

No, she couldn't think that of him could she? Had he not done enough to gain her trust going so far as to make amends with her prat of a brother Ron? And still she thought she was no more than a trophy for him? But wait, it was just a song, or was it?

“And I need just a little more silence,
and I just need a little more time,
The courage to pull away
there will be hell to pay
the deeper you cut to the bone.

Leave me be, I don't want to argue
I'd just get confused and I'd come all undone.
If I agree, well, it's just to appease you
Cause I don't remember what we're fighting for.”

For the first time all of Draco's confidence had left him. He was naked in vulnerability and these words were shaking him to the core. Was she breaking up with him? He tried to capture her gaze again but she refused to meet him. Or was this all his imagination? Merlin, did he hope it was.”

“Time here,
all but means nothing,
just shadows that move across the wall.
They keep me company,
but they don't ask of me
they don't say nothing at all.

Leave me be, I don't want to argue
I'd just get confused and I'd come all undone.
If I agree, well, it's just to appease you
Cause I don't remember what we're fighting for.”

Hermione's POV

Hermione watched as Ginny sang, how her words affected Malfoy. She watched as all his usual bravado left him and he sat there in stark fear of losing Ginny. Her attention was back at the stage as Dumbledore once more picked up the goblet and pulled out a name. It was Seamus's turn for the fun. Heaven only knew what the halfborn wizard would choose for himself. Ginny came back to the table and scooted in next to Hermione rather than back next to Malfoy. Her eyes were shimmering and Hermione embraced her shoulders briefly before Seamus began to sing. Malfoy turned a hurt gaze to the redhead and to Hermione it was obvious to that Malfoy cared for Ginny and surprisingly Hermione hoped they could work things out.

TBC…

3. Finnegan

Just a short A/N for all of you

First off, I know this story is odd, it's supposed to be odd but I hope you like it anyway.

Secondly, thank you to all that have written to let me know how much you like the story.

Thirdly to mercedes1327, this one's for you. I thought you'd appreciate it.

And lastly to Anonymous poster 95241 and your “oh yes so angsty... you need make it to obvious about the song lrics we dont want to read them.. please dont post them again,.. (Insert little snoring guy)” I posted that it was angsty due to Draco's personal reaction to it, care to give me your definition of angsty? (As it was I said “slightly angsty”.) And I post the lyrics so that those who don't know the song can read it and so that they can get the full meaning behind it. Or did you miss the whole “everyone has thoughts on the songs being sung” thing especially in the last chapter? (Yes I'm being sarcastic.) And if you want to criticize fine, do that don't insult and don't presume to tell me what to do in my story. If you don't like the lyrics being posted, skip them, who says you need to read them? They're italicized so it shouldn't be that hard for you to tell them from the rest of the story and if it puts you off that much then don't read. I like my readership and I would hope to keep you as one but if not, I don't plan on losing sleep over it.

Again thanks to all whom have read and have left such positive reviews.

Seamus's POV

Seamus walked with confidence up to the stage. He had no fears about singing in front of the crowd. He enjoyed having people watching him. Dean was constantly calling him an exhibitionist. Oh well, he was Irish so it was to be expected really. As Dumbledore cast the Sonorous charm on him he smiled as he thought about what song he was going to sing. He'd thought about singing “Crimson Kneazeles” by Erwin Hobston but he thought this song would be better suited to catching his friends' attention. From the back of the room he heard Dean pipe up.

“Seamus if I hear you sing Danny Boy one more time I think I'll have to kill you.”

The crowd roared with appreciation. Even Seamus grinned, he only sang that song because he knew it would get under Dean's skin.

“No, I have a much more appropriate song for me to sing. We sang it at the last family get together actually.”

Seamus smirked and left them wondering until he began to sing.

“Tim Finnegan lived in Walkin' Street.

A gentleman, Irishman, mighty odd

He'd seen a brogue so soft and sweet

And to rise in the world he carried a hod.

Tim had a sort of a tipplin way.

With a love of the liquor now he was born

Helped a man with his work each day.

He'd a drop of the craythin' every morn'”

As he sang his legs began to dance a jig that had been dubbed “the Seamus” by his family. Legs twisting here and there and a slight stomp after he spun three times. Got a bloke's blood flowing quite nicely.

“Whack fol-de-dah

Now dance to your partner,

Welt the floor,

Your trotters shake

Wasn't it the truth

I told ye lots of fun at Finnegan's wake

One mornin Tim felt rather full.

His head felt heavy which made him shake;

Fell from a the ladder and burst his skull

So they carried him home, his corpse to wake.

Rolled him up in a nice clean sheet

Laid him out upon the bed,

A gallon of whiskey at his feet

And a barrel of porter at his head.

Whack fol-de-dah

Now dance to your partner,

Welt the floor,

Your trotters shake

Wasn't it the truth

I told ye lots of fun at Finnegan's wake”

Harry's POV

And he'd thought Dumbledore had been bad. Seamus had that Irish brogue that did justice to the song, but this jig he was dancing was enough to put Harry off of dancing for the rest of his life. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Hermione grimace as though in pain. She leaned over and whispered to him.

“I've read about Irish dancing and nowhere did they say anything about that.”

She pointed just as Seamus's leg kicked up high in the air and he turned it foot facing the opposite leg and then hopping over his own leg as it hung there in the air.

“Yes, it really is rather odd. And the choice is pure Seamus really.”

Harry agreed and chuckled as Hermione winced again.

“His friends assembled at the wake.

And Mrs. Finnegan called for lunch,

First they brung in tea and cake.

Then pipes, tobacco and whiskey punch.

Biddy O'Brien began to cry.

"Such a nice clean corpse, did you ever see

Tim, mavourneen, why did you die?"

“Arragh, shut your gob” says Paddy McGhee!

“Whack fol-de-dah

Now dance to your partner,

Welt the floor,

Your trotters shake

Wasn't it the truth

I told ye lots of fun at Finnegan's wake”

Again Harry leaned to whisper in Hermione's ear.

“Tell me, do you understand a word of this? I mean besides that a guy named Finnegan is toes pointed up?”

Hermione covered her mouth with her hand but not before Harry saw the smile there.

“Oh Harry. You mean to tell me you've been dormmates with Seamus for all these years and you haven't learned any Irish at all?”

Harry shook his head ruefully.

“What I'd learned was, that when Seamus went off into one of his strange speaking tirades to just leave the room before my eardrums split.”

Hermione laughed outright at that. Her head thrown back against the booth and Harry could feel the vibrations of it through his arm that was still wrapped around her shoulders. Once she'd calmed down again she looked at him with a twinkle in her eye.

“I'll explain it to you when you're older.”

At his startled look she again burst into laughter. Harry merely shook his head and tuned back into what he discovered to be the end of the song.

“Timothy rising from the bed

Said 'Whirl your liquor around, and run like blazes

Well mother of Jesus, Do ye think I'm dead?'

Whack fol-de-dah

Now dance to your partner,

Welt the floor,

Your trotters shake

Wasn't it the truth

I told ye lots of fun at Finnegan's wake.”

With a final jump that reminded Harry of a first year on too many Fizzing Whizbees Seamus wrapped up the song and left the stage. The third of the day to get thunderous applause for their performance. Dumbledore walked up to the front of the stage again and clapped his hands.

“I would like to announce a short break so that you can get up and stretch if you'd like. We will begin again in ten minutes and at that time we shall pick our next performer.”

Dumbledore left the stage and Harry's companions as well as the rest of the bar began to shuffle out of their seats to mill around. Harry watched as Draco went over to Ginny and tried to talk to her but she wasn't having any of it. Poor git, didn't he realize she was just getting revenge for his earlier comment? Harry knew Ginny well enough to know when she was truly mad and when she was having one over on you for her own enjoyment. Harry turned from one pair of squabbling lovebirds to another. Luna was apparently giving Ron what appeared to be a very Hermione like lecture. Her hands on her hips and her body stock still in a rather angry pose. That was unusual in itself, but more so was Ron's apologetic nature. Rarely had Harry seen Ron give in so easily. Apparently Luna thought it was a bit too soon as well for she turned on her heel and stalked by and Harry caught her parting words.

“It's time you learned Ron, not everything in this world is going to be about you. And not everything you do need be a competition with someone you claim to be your best friend.”

Harry flushed slightly as Luna stormed past him. On the one hand Harry was glad he didn't have a female angry with him, as it seemed to be the running theme for the day but on the other he couldn't help but wish he had someone at all. That debacle in fifth year with Cho was the closest he had come to having a relationship with someone, that being said his love life was severely lacking. He looked over at Hermione and was surprised to see her making her way to the door as quickly as her legs would carry her which due to the crowd around her was not very quickly at all. He caught up to her without much trouble. Harry grabbed her wrist just as she was about to open the door.

“Hermione, where are you going?”

Hermione turned and smiled at him.

“As far from here as humanly possible.”

She stated without batting an eye. Harry goggled at her.

“Whatever for?”

It was her turn to goggle. She shook her head and Harry saw a faint blush creep up her neck. And that's when he knew what it was. In the seven years he'd known Hermione he had never once heard her sing. Not so much as a Christmas carol had been known to pass her lips with any audibility. On his last birthday he could tell she was only mouthing the words to Happy Birthday and not very much at that. Not that the sentiment wasn't there it was just the whole need for singing thing apparently had her flummoxed. He looked down at her fondly.

“You'll do all right Hermione. You've nothing to worry about.”

Hermione's POV

Damn this crowd. Damn Harry for spotting her and damn him even more for catching her. She had almost escaped and with her pride moderately intact. But no, Harry had to come and get her. She looked up at him only to find him gazing at her with that maddeningly adorable look he so often used. The affection he felt for her was evident in his emerald gaze, but affection was not what she wanted from him at least not the way he meant it. And she knew what he was thinking, that she was shy or embarrassed to sing in public, probably thought she had stage fright or some such nonsense, but no that wasn't the case at all. What she was afraid of went far beyond what her classmates and a few drunks in a pub thought of her. No her fear was that when she got up on that stage she would begin to sing a song that would tell the world what she felt for the boy in front of her. She couldn't subject herself to that, especially when she was quite sure the feeling was not reciprocated in the least. But gazing into his eyes as they silently pleaded with her to stay she found that she could not refuse. She had never been able to and probably never would be able to refuse him anything. So she let him lead her back to the table, let him squeeze her between himself and Luna, ensuring that she would not escape, and let him put his arm around her all the while trying very hard not to cry for the despair she was feeling at the moment. The break was apparently up as Dumbledore walked to the stage again and the crowd fell silent. In his hand was that damned goblet, again he reached in and pulled out a name.

“Our next performer will be…”

TBC…

I am evil.