He's a Regular Machine by DeliaBlack

Rating: NC17
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 5
Published: 25/03/2004
Last Updated: 22/05/2004
Status: In Progress

James Potter is in love with Lily Evans. Lily Evans severely dislikes James Potter. What will
become of the two in their seventh and final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?
L/J and S/OC. Severe Music Warning.




1. Of Insults and T-shirsts
---------------------------



It was already the middle of September and fall was all around the students of Hogwarts School
of Witchcraft and Wizardry. On a clear Saturday morning most students, third year and above, were
romping around Hogsmeade, but two in particular were not.

Lillian Evans and Ngila Kenoir had been best friends since the day they both entered the magical
school where they resided. Both were in their seventh and final year as well as in Gryffindor house
together. On this warm day in September the girls were not up to skipping around Hogsmeade with the
other students but instead took refuge in the middle of the front lawn of the school. Lily was
sitting up cross legged writing in a tiny book while Ngila was lying flat on her back and staring
up into the clouds.

“Ngila,” Lily started slowly, tearing her eyes and pen away from her tiny, leather bound book,
“what are you thinking about?” she finished questioningly.

“The names of my children, when I have them I mean.” Ngila replied, peering at Lily through her
fashionable, thick rimmed glasses.

“Well, what have you come up with?” Lily asked her curiously.

“If I have a daughter I was think Ngila James, after me, and if I have a boy it would be Ngilo
James, after me.” She chuckled.

“You self-absorbed cricket!” Lily shouted playfully while smiling at her best friend and
smacking her with the same tiny book she had been writing in.

“Self-absorbed cricket? I don't believe I've ever heard that one before.” Ngila said
with a puzzled look on her face while raising herself from the ground and sitting up next to
Lily.

“'Tis a Lily Evans original and you sha'nt be repeating it if you know what's good
for you, scurvy knave!” Lily said while shaking her muggle pen at Ngila and her emerald eyes
flashing with humor.

“Well, aren't you just the queen of insult today my lovely little melon?” Ngila said
innocently while standing up and tying her brown hair into a sloppy bun at the stop of her
head.

“I try my beautifully large citrus fruit.” Lily replied while standing up and brushing the grass
off the back of her skirt.

“You know, Lily, we are quite odd, aren't we?” Ngila asked while joining Lily in the walk
back to the castle for dinner.

“Well, seeing as you just called me a melon and I called you a citrus fruit, a cricket, and a
scurvy knave….yes, we are quite odd.” Lily replied smiling at the ocean-blue eyed girl next to
her.

“I knew it; I must be the most observant person in the history of people.” Ngila told her
matter-of-factly.

“Of course you are, darling. You just keep telling yourself that.” Lily said while patting the
girl's shoulder sympathetically.

“I already do, Lily! But, onto bigger and better things, it's time for our grand entrance.”
Ngila declared as they reached the doors to the Great Hall.

“After you, Mademoiselle Kenoir.” Lily replied while bowing and opening the door for her.

“If you insist, Señorita Evans.” Ngila said huffily while proceeding into the hall and stopping
to wait for her friend. They stood in the front of the hall to drink it all in before they were
shaken out of their reverie.

“Ken, Evans, over her ladies!” A masculine voice called out from the Gryffindor house table.

“I don't know why but I had the oddest notion that nicknames were supposed to originate from
the first name and not the last.” Ngila whispered to Lily as they approached the space where their
names were being called.

“You do know that the boy who gave you that nickname was Sirius Black, right?” Lily whispered
back while giving “Ken” a look of disbelief.

“Oh, I forgot, the ever-so-serious Sirius Black.” Ngila said rolling her eyes causing Lily to
chuckle silently as they came closer to the boys that called themselves the marauders.

“Sirius, darling, I missed you so!” Ngila called out as they got close enough to see them. Ngila
and Lily were on the opposite side of the table as Sirius so Ngila quickly crawled under the table
and was soon sitting next to the gray-eyed boy.

“Ngila, my love, where were you this afternoon? We were scheduled for two o'clock.” Sirius
said to her longingly.

“I'm so sorry, love, but I got caught up with Severus. Once he gets going he just can't
stop.” Ngila replied in a bored tone while piling food onto her plate.

“I know what you mean, he is a regular machine.” Sirius replied while returning to his food.
Ngila looked at him and nodded as if it was the most natural thing in the world while Lily took her
seat in between Remus Lupin and James Potter.

“Hello, my darling Lily, how come I didn't see you in the village?” The messy haired boy on
Lily's left said.

“I was hanging around on the grounds, Potter, and don't call me darling.” Lily snapped while
she began to gather food and James resumed eating.

“Where's Peter?” Ngila asked the boys curiously while glancing around the table.

“I think he went to study with that Ravenclaw he was talking about.” A tired Remus responded
from the other side of the table.

“Oh, does little Peter Pettigrew have a date?” Lily asked while her and Ngila exchanged maniacal
smiles.

“I do believe he does. She was as cute as a button.” Sirius told them shortly while grabbing the
roll off of Ngila's plate.

“If she is as cute as a button, do try not to whisk her away from Peter. I for one am happy for
the little chap. It's not everyday that Pettigrew finds himself a beauty. And don't steal
my food, get your own!” Ngila finished sharply.

“I would never try to steal his girlfriend away when I have you, Ken.” Sirius replied, batting
his eyelashes as Ngila who just rolled her eyes and stole her roll back.

“So, what were you boys doing in Hogsmeade today?” Lily asked before Ngila and Sirius could get
into a fight.

“The usual: drinking butterbeer, stocking up at Zonko's, buying candy, stocking up at
Zonko's, scoping for ladies, stocking up at Zonko's…..” James continued until Remus stopped
him.

“I think they get the point, mate. What did you lovely ladies do?” Remus asked the girls
suavely.

“Oh, you do flatter us Remus dear but I'm afraid our day was not quite as exciting as
yours.” Ngila replied smiling at him.

“We sat around the common room reading and then proceeded to spend the rest of the day lying in
the middle of the lawn. By the way, have you seen Aurora?” Lily asked, now conscious of her other
friend's absence.

“I think she is sitting with Oma a few seats down.” James told her motioning towards the end of
the table where they were.

Lily found her friend Aurora Knight next to her best friend Oma Blaise. Aurora was not one of
Lily or Ngila's closest friends but they shared a bond because all three girls had a love for
music and played instruments.

“Why were you looking for Aurora, Lils?” Ngila asked, shaking Lily from her memory.

“I was thinking we could jam or something later. I feel like I haven't practiced in ages.”
Lily told her while turning back to her own section of the table.

“That's actually a good idea. We could get some practice in together like we used to and
maybe we might be able to play the Yule Ball this year!” Ngila exclaimed.

“You know, you say that every year and we never do.” Lily said while propping her head up on her
fist.

“But we must do it this year! I know you hate to hear it but it's our last year and it's
time to do the things we never had the courage to do!” Ngila smiled widely at her.

“I haven't seen you do anything you wouldn't do normally.” Lily said in a bored
tone.

“That's because I have had no reason to yet.”

“Fine, fine, we'll play at the stupid ball. But as long as we don't wear stupid matching
costumes or anything.” Lily replied only trying to please her best friend.

“Lily, I love you!” Ngila screamed before jumping out of her seat and into the isle between the
Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables where she did a sort of weird jig. Soon, Sirius had jumped up and
joined her while everyone else just stared at the couple dancing in the isle.

“Ms. Kenoir, Mr. Black, although I do find your performance quite enjoyable, would you please
proceed back to your seats?” Professor Dumbledore boomed from the Head Table.

“Sorry, Professor.” Ngila yelled back while smiling at the old, gray haired Professor. She dove
in her seat like Sirius had seconds before her.

“Well, that was interesting. Why were we dancing?” Sirius turned to ask Ngila who was staring
intently at Lily.

“Was that out of the ordinary enough for you? Usually I would have been like, `Awesome,
Lils!', but not this time. So, was it? Was it!?” Ngila gestured wildly while smiling at
Lily.

“I'd have to say it was quite odd. Now I understand exactly what you mean.” Lily exclaimed,
sarcastically.

“So, why were you two dancing?” James voiced Sirius' question again.

“Because Lillian Annabelle Evans is the best ever!” Ngila chirped.

“Oh, that's what we were dancing for? If I'd known that I would have worn James' `I
Love Lily' t-shirt!” Sirius said happily to Ngila and then boomed with laughter at James'
beet red face.



2. Of Bolsheviks and Brainstorms
--------------------------------



“Alright, spill it already. Something is bother you and I can tell.” Ngila finally sighed at her
best friend. They were both sitting on the couch in the common room reading their respective
books.

“Nothing is wrong. Why in the world would you think that something was wrong?” Lily hurriedly
let out.

“Well, maybe it's the fact that ever since Sirius made that comment about James'-“Ngila
started but was stopped short by Lily.

“Aurora! We've been waiting for you. Ngila and I wanted to know if you wanted to jam or
something. She wants to play for the Yule Ball this year.” Lily exclaimed, thankful that
Aurora's arrival saved her from her friend's comment.

“Wicked! I've always wanted to play for the Yule Ball. Come on, we can go up know and I can
set up my drums. I still haven't found time to unpack them.” The tall black girl exclaimed. She
smiled and bounded up the stairs.

“Lily-“Ngila started again.

“Not right now Ngila, Aurora is waiting for us.” Lily saved herself quickly and ran up the
stairs after Aurora as she heard Ngila give a grunt and ran up the stairs too.

“It's going to take a while for me to set up so why don't you guys tune and practice a
little bit.” Aurora told them as she began setting up in the corner where her drums were usually
settled.

“That sounds great. Ngila grab your guitar and come here.” Lily commanded.

“Sir, yes, sir.” Ngila replied while standing pin straight and saluting to Lily.

Lily walked over to where her guitars resided. She had one acoustic and one *electric which were
both like children to her. The acoustic used to be her grandmother's before she passed on and
the electric was gift from her parents. Of course they weren't as great as Ngila's actual
Gibson acoustic/electric guitar, but she loved them all the same.

“Where's the tuner, babe?” Ngila asked when she appeared at on Lily's bed.

“On the nightstand next to the lamp. What am I using tonight: acoustic or electric?” Lily asked
looking from guitar to guitar. Both were in their stands next to the nightstand. They were easy
access from her bed so just in case she needed them, they were there.

“I'll do acoustic tonight, so you grab your electric.” Ngila answered as she began to tune
her guitar.

“Hold that out, I'm going to tune mine as well.” Lily spoke as Ngila held out her E. She
plugged the guitar's cord into the amp and began to tune and warm up with scales and stupid
little songs she had learned years ago.

“Hey, Lils, while we're waiting for Aurora why don't we go put on a show for the common
room? It'll give us some practice with an audience.” Ngila spoke while winking at Lily, whose
face turned a sort of eggshell white color.

“Are you crazy?! We haven't practiced together in like a month. It's not safe. What if
we make complete asses of ourselves?” Lily asked her quickly now worrying insanely.

“Don't worry so much Lils. We will be absolutely fabulous. It's not like we're going
to practice a new song down there. It will be a completely safe oldie. Now breathe, you need air.”
Ngila said while smiling and plucking at the strings on her guitar.

“How can you be so bloody calm? Oh, right, because you are fucking perfect!” Lily said in the
breath that she had been holding in during Ngila's speech.

“Watch, Lily, you have a sailor's mouth, did you know that?” Ngila scolded.

“We are not going down there. I will not make a fool of myself.” Lily exclaimed while shaking
her head vigorously.

“Anthem, Pretend to be Nice, or Don't be Shallow?” Ngila asked.

“Pretend to be Nice, do you know what they'll say after we play?”

“What will they say? Both of us playing or just you?”

“Just me so you can focus on the words, they'll tell us we're horrible and throw shit at
us.”

“How many times have I told you to watch your mouth? Acoustic or Electric?”

“Acoustic, I'm sorry but I'm worried. We are not going down there!” Lily finished,
unaware that she had just planned out their whole performance in the common room.

“Grab your acoustic guitar, the music for Pretend to be Nice (if you need it), and your pick
because we are going down to the common room now!” Ngila shouted while bounding down the stairs and
singing arpeggios.

“Go after her, Lily, you know you want to.” Aurora called out from behind her bass drum.

“I'll be back soon, Aura, don't worry.” Lily yelled back at her and ran down the stairs
holding her guitar and pick.

__________________

“Ngila, this is stupid!” Lily whispered fiercely as Ngila got comfortable on the couch and Lily
sat herself on the coffee table in front of it.

“It's not stupid because we are bastante fantastico. Just calm down and take deep breaths.
You are an excruciatingly good guitarist and you will shock the skivvies off the people in this
common room.” Ngila assured her.

“I don't want to “shock the skivvies” off anyone! I want to go back upstairs, put a
silencing charm on the curtains of my bed, and play my heart out where no one can hear me.”

“Where would that get you? You have to share your talent with the rest of the world so they
worship the ground you walk on!”

“Maybe I don't want that.” Lily pouted at this.

“I can tell that you do, and I want that to happen to me too so stop pouting and play your damn
guitar.”

Ngila immediately pulled out her wand and silencio-ed Lily's mouth silent. Lily finally
sighed and began to play the intro to the song while people turned around to see where the noise
was coming from. Ngila soon began to sing and most everyone in the common room turned around.

Pretend to be Nice:

Well, he looks at me with those innocent eyes,

And says it looks like you're wearing some kind of disguise,

Because your hair sticks up, your shoes are untied,

i hope that you got that shirt at half price,

And every word I say falls flat on the floor,

I try to tell a joke, he's heard it before,

And I don't think that I can take it no more,

Cause he's driving me right out of my front door

Why do you do what you do to me baby?

Shaking my confidence, driving me crazy

You know if I could I'd do anything for you,

Please don't ignore me 'cause you know I adore you

Can't you just pretend to be nice?

Can you at least pretend to be nice?

If you could just pretend to be nice,

Well, everything in my life would be alright

Oooh wee....

Oooh wee....

And I try so hard just to figure him out,

But he won't tell me what he's been thinking about,

And then he falls asleep on the living room couch,

With his sunglasses on and his tongue hanging out,

And then he disappears for a week at a time,

And then he shows up just like everything's fine,

And I don't get what goes on in his mind,

But I'm tired of hearing the same stupid lines

Why do you do what you do to me baby?

Shaking my confidence, driving me crazy

You know if I could I'd do anything for you,

Please don't ignore me cuz you know I adore you

Can't you just pretend to be nice?

Can you at least pretend to be nice?

If you could just pretend to be nice,

Everything in my life would be alright,

Oooh wee....

Oooh wee....

(Guitar)

Why do you do what you do to me baby?

Shaking my confidence, driving me crazy

You know if I could I'd do anything for you,

I don't mean to bore you 'cause you know I adore you.

Can't you just pretend to be nice?

Can you at least pretend to be nice?

If you could just pretend to be nice,

Everything in my life would be alright

The whole common room burst into applause as Ngila took the charm off of Lily and stood up to
take a bow. Lily followed in suit while she turned bright red and hid a smile. Ngila was definitely
living up the excitement of the common room.

“What's the name of your band?” Some unknown voice called from around them.

“It's called Lenin and the Bolsheviks. I thought it was creative.” Ngila screamed out.

“Lenin and the Bolsheviks?” Another voice called out.

“Hey, it was either that or Stud Muffins of the Century. We didn't have much of a choice,
did we Aura?” Lily asked the brown eyed girl that was standing at the top of the steps holding her
drumsticks.

“That's what we get for not being creative, Lils.” Aurora called back from her spot while
people turned back to look at her.

“Can we go back up the room now and practice by ourselves for a little while.” Lily asked Ngila
who was just about to answer before being swept up into somebody's arms. Lily looked shocked
until another person did the same to her.

“Sirius, what the hell do you think your doing?” Ngila screamed at him. Her legs were now
wrapped around his waist and her arms around his neck as he spun her around.

“It's our way of congratulating you for being such good musicians and also torture for not
telling us.” Sirius replied while James nodded. Lily was strewn over his shoulder.

“James Potter let be down right now before I pinch you.” Lily screamed at while trying not to
laugh. She had a perfect view of James' backside from her position. `Wait,' she thought,
`this is James Potter! He can not have a nice ass!'

“Why don't you pinch me and then I'll let you down?” James replied and Lily could tell
there was a smirk on his face when he said it. Lily raised her arm so it laid flat against her side
and pinched the pressure point on the back of his neck.

“I'm pinching you, now let me down.” She said while feeling him squirm,

“Okay, okay, just stop.” He said while lowering her gently of his shoulder. Lily let go as soon
as her feet touched the ground.

“That's your way of congratulating a girl?” Lily asked while smirking at the boy in front of
her.

“The other option was to snog you senseless, but I knew you girls wouldn't like me or Sirius
doing that to you.” James told her innocently.

“Well, than I guess I should be glad.”

“Now, onto the real question, how come you never told me that you play guitar you bloody
bird?!”

“You can say that but as soon as I swear once I get called a sailor.”

“You do tend to have a mouth like a sailor when you get worked up.”

“Oh, shut your mouth, Potter. I didn't tell you because Ngila thought it would be funny to
keep it secret. We let the secret out this year though because it's our last and we're
supposed to do the things we wouldn't normally do.”

“Ngila tell you that?”

“Yes, and I think its absolute bull.”

“SAILOR!”

“I only said bull, not shit!”

“Oh, you said it!” James shouted while jumping up.

“Shut up, I'm going to bed. Thanks for the congratulations Jamesie and tell Ngila that
I've gone up when she stops flirting with Black.” Lily glared at him playfully and proceeded up
the stairs with her guitar and pick. She put her stuff back where it belonged and noticed that
Aurora was not there. Lily immediately thought that she was with Oma, of course. But Lily
didn't really care right now because she had things to think about.

The redhead crawled into her bed after quickly changed into her bed clothes and closed all the
curtains. She laid back to get comfortable before starting to think too much. There was one thing
on her mind: James Potter. They obviously had a pretty horrendous history but last year and this
year they were trying to resolve their differences and become “friends”. Ngila got along famously
with Sirius, Remus, and Peter and, of course, James. It always upset her when she saw Lily fighting
with the self proclaimed Marauders so Lily was able to become good friends with three out of four
of them. Despite their agreement Lily and James still had problems.

James fancied Lily. That much she had known since at least second year when Ngila had let it
slip after Sirius let it slip to her after James told him privately. Ngila always did have a habit
of letting things slip to Lily, no matter what it was. Sirius had the same problem when talking to
Ngila. Anyway, from what Lily could gather all through the year he liked her since first during
their prank war when he realized that she was a prankster on the inside and continued fancying her
until this day. He had only let it be known during fifth year and that's when things began to
get worse. The infamous Snape incident ruined things for them but when they had met up the summer
before going into seventh year they shook hands and agreed to have some sort of relationship.

To be truthful Lily could not stop thinking about James Samuel Potter the summer before sixth
year, all of sixth year, and the summer before seventh year. She rationalized it as severe dislike
and put it aside intending to ignore until they had met up the pervious summer. When she realized
that he was walking towards her, her heart rate most definitely increased and her stomach did a
little bunny hop. Once again, she blamed it on the dislike until her sister, Petunia, explained
something to her.

Lily and Petunia did not have the best sisterly relationship but sisters always tend to spend at
least some of their time on Earth discussing girly things and such although they may hate each
other (a/n: known fact because even though I hate my sister we still manage to have girly
conversations once in a while). That year while Lily was away at school Petunia had fallen in love
with a business man named Vernon whom she had been dating for two years which led to Lily hearing
all about him. He, from what she heard, was very boring, but she had never been in love and wanted
to know what it was like straight away.

“Tunia, how did you know you were in love?” Lily asked curiously one day when she was lying on
her sister's bed watching her get ready for her date with Vernon.

“What do you mean?” Tunia replied questioningly while unrolling her blonde hair from the
curlers.

“How did you know? Did you just look at him one day and know?” Lily asked, now sitting up cross
legged.

“Oh, know I see what you mean. Well, I suppose it was in February of this year. We were
celebrating Valentine's Day together in the park. We were just walking around holding hands
when it began to rain and he took of one of his jackets and draped around me. Why he was wearing
two? I'm not quite sure but when we reached a puddle at the curb he noticed that I was worried
about getting my shoes wet so he took off his other jacket and draped it across the puddle for me
to walk on. I just looked at him and he was standing their all wet, smiling at me, holding out his
hand so he could help me across. My stomach flipped and my heart raced. Now, every time I see him I
get that feeling in the pit of my stomach. It flips over and over and I fear my heart may just
burst out of my chest.” Petunia explained sincerely while applying her make up.

“Oh my god.” Lily breathed and jumped off the bed and into her room with her older sister
calling after her.

Lily had spent the whole night telling her that she could not love her enemy, James Potter. Of
course, they had called somewhat of a truce but he was still an enemy. She couldn't possibly be
in love with him.

That's the exact same thing she was doing tonight, after her little performance. She could
not possibly be in love with James Potter if she hates him so incredibly much. But maybe she had
confused love for hate, or the other way around. Whatever, she didn't care; she just wanted to
know how she felt. She needed to talk to Ngila and fast.

________________

A/N: *The electric guitar works because it was purchased at Wizarding music store in Diagon
Alley especially for students such as Ngila and Lily.

Secondly, I didn't mention this after the first chapter but you pronounce Ngila's name
Nyla. I think it's an awesome name. Oh and when she was talking about her children's names,
James is her middle name. Ngila James Kenoir. It's not that she fancies James or anything.

Thirdly, Lenin and the Bolsheviks is the name of my band because I'm obsessed with Russian
Revolution so you are not welcome to steal it. Or Stud Muffins of the Century.

Lastly, the song is Pretend to be Nice by Letters to Cleo. They are a cool band and did a lot of
songs for the newer Josie and the Pussycat's movie with Rachel Leigh Cook. Of course, it's
not that new, but still an awesome band.

Well, those are all the notes. Please review more of I'll stop. Ok, so I probably won't,
but I would appreciate reviews. Thank you.

-Bex



3. Of Clouds and Sunglasses
---------------------------



Unfortunately for Lily she had not heard Ngila come into the dorm last night so was unable to
talk to her. This morning she needed too though. She had never told anyone about her secret feeling
for James Potter. What that feeling was? She was not too sure but she was sure that Ngila might be
able to decipher it for her.

It was Sunday morning and Lily had stayed up late the night before so she had slept later as
well. She awoke to humming and pulled her curtains open to reveal Ngila sitting at her vanity and
French braiding her brown locks. Her sweeping bangs were still covering her left eye but the rest
of her hair was in braiding pigtails seeing as she was tying the second up with the hair band as
Lily opened the curtains.

“Morning, pumpkin, you slept late this morning. It's already ten and you're usually up
at seven. I haven't been down to breakfast yet. Wash up and join me, will you? And be quick
about it.” Ngila spoke kindly to her friend while assessing her through the mirror. Her elbow
length red hair was incredibly frizzy as opposed to what her own shoulder length brown hair looked
like in the morning. Her eyes were still drooping from sleep and she only saw a little sliver of
emerald. Lily woke her self up by rubbing the bridge of her nose where all her freckles were
planted.

“Keep your pants on. I see that you're donning muggle fashion today, hmm?” Lily asked her
friend curiously while getting out of her bed and studying Ngila's faded blue jeans, converse
sneakers, and plain white t-shirt with a small pocket on the breast.

“I happen to think it's more comfortable and school robes aren't required on Sundays.
It's better this way, now let's get moving.” Ngila screamed while finishing her makeup
(only eye shadow) and putting on her prescription ranger sunglasses.

Lily headed into the bathroom where she took a shower and dried her hair quickly. She then
slipped on a pair of jeans, flip flops, and a black tank top with a white zip up sweatshirt over
it. Tying her hair up in a pony tail she studied herself in the mirror and was pleased with the
reflection.

“You ready to go, Ngila?” Lily called out while opening the door.

“Of course darling, breakfast waits.” Ngila held out her arm which was soon linked with
Lily's as they skipped out the dorm and downstairs.

“Are you planning on wearing those silly sunglasses all day?” Lily asked her as they sat down
across from each other to eat.

“Well, seeing as I lost my regular glasses and these are the only other prescription ones I own,
yes, I do.” Ngila replied while buttering her toast heavily.

“You lost them! Did you forget you were a witch and can summon them!? You'll give yourself a
heart attack if you eat that much butter.” Lily scolded as she watched her friend inhale the butter
drenched bread.

“Oh, Lily, I'm only seventeen, that's fool-“ Ngila started but was unable to finished as
she began clutching at her chest dramatically and flopped her self onto the empty bench while
gasping and making odd noises causing other students to stare her way.

“Ngila, get up, I get your point.” Lily laughed while standing up and leaning against the table
to see the other side.


”Lily….heart attack….get someone…fast!” Ngila gasped as Sirius and the other Marauders came into
the hall.

“Oy, Ngila, do you need some mouth to mouth resuscitation?” Sirius asked while coming up beside
her. Ngila suddenly sprung to life.

“Funny, my heart suddenly feels a million times better. It must have been a false alarm.” Ngila
said while proceeding eating the rest of her food.

“You are aware that we're inside and you're wearing sunglasses, right?” Remus asked her
while sitting on her other side.

“Really, I'm wearing sunglasses! How incredibly odd! Oh my goodness, I am! Lily, how come
you didn't say anything! My god, I am outraged!” Ngila began to rant until Sirius shoved a
scone in her mouth.

“Thank you Sirius, she was beginning to get on my nerves.” Lily told him, now regarding James
who had taken a seat next to her.

“Morning, Evans, how are you on this lovely day?” James asked while smiling at her.

“I could be better.” Lily replied while shoveling scrambled eggs into her mouth.

“Maybe I could help you with that.” James replied winking suggestively.

“Actually, you could,” Lily began and began leaning closer to him; “you could leave.” Lily
breathed as she became hair's width away from his lips. She leaned back and smirked while the
other laughed.

“Evil wench.” He muttered under his breath.

“So, what do you propose we do today, my fair Lily?” Ngila spoke as she had finally finished the
scone.

“I want to go outside again; it's a nice day today.”

“Sounds perfectly fine to me, you want to go now?”

“Of course, shall we?” Lily asked as they both stood up to leave.

“Do you mind if we come?” Sirius asked.

“Lily?” Ngila questioned.

“I supposed it would be alright.” Lily replied to her friend's puppy dog face.

“Thanks, Lils.” Sirius smiled and stood up with Remus and James to leave the great hall with the
girls.

“You were right about doing this, Lily. It is a stunning day.” Remus remarked while heading out
around the lake.

“I concur with Mr. Moony. It is quite a ravishing day.” Sirius said refined while began to walk
in an oddly proper way.

“You're not a gentleman, Sirius, so stop acting like one.” Ngila laughed as she walked
towards a few hills.

“Oh, shot down, Mr. Padfoot. You absolutely must learn to stick your foot in your mouth when it
comes to these ladies.” James scolded Sirius playfully.

“Shush up, Potter, like you're much better.” Lily spoke harshly.

“Well, I would say that I'm a gentleman. What do you think James?” James asked Ngila. He was
always partial to her middle name.

“I do believe you are quite wrong. I don't see any gentleman around these parts.” Ngila
spoke while smiling.

“You'll get yours for that comment Ken!” Sirius yelled playfully at her.

“I don't understand why all the nicknames I have are boy's names.” Ngila sighed,
frustrated.

“Maybe they're trying to suggest something, Ngila.” Lily told her thoughtfully.

“Ha ha, very funny, Evans. I could think of some very clever nicknames for you!” Ngila
exclaimed.

“Well, you never do.” Lily muttered. Ngila obviously didn't hear her because she glanced
over at an upcoming hill and gasped. She soon began running and stopped at the stop with her arms
outstretched and her head tilted towards the sky.

“THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC!” She belted out and began singing loudly.

“Oh goodness, I am sorry that I didn't bring my guitar out.” Lily smiled at her friend. In
the middle of the song, however, Sirius jumped on her and they fell to the ground and went tumbling
down the hill.

“Ahh, Black, geroff me!” Ngila squealed.

“Where did Remus go?” Lily asked James suddenly.

“I think he found someone else to hang around with.” James said while nodding his over in the
direction of the lake. Remus was walking around it with a fairly pretty Ravenclaw by the name of
Rachel Stephen

“I always thought he fancied her. He's always giving that look during Charms.” Lily
commented.

“What look?”

“You know the look. The one that hopeless guys use when staring at a girl they like.”

“That's the look? I always called it the eye.”

“Why the eye? I always thought of the eye as being a rude look.”

“That's stupid. I always called that the look. It makes much more sense.”

“No it doesn't. If you liked someone you wouldn't give them the eye. You'd give them
the look.”

“That's not true. You'd give them to eye to let them know.”

“No, you wouldn't.”

“Yes, you would.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No!”

“Yes!

“NO!”

“YES!”

“You're impossible James Potter!” Lily screamed while biting back a smile.

“Does that mean I win?” James asked excitedly.

“Of course not, it just means that I am tired of shouting `no' at you.” Lily smirked.

“In that case, this isn't over, Evans. James Potter never loses.”

“I'd love to prove you wrong, you know that?”

“No one will ever win when they are up against me.”

“I suppose you kept telling yourself that until you actually believed it, right?”

“I only tell myself eight times a day. That's not a lot.”

“Of course it isn't, Potter. It's a completely normal amount.”

“I knew it. I am normal after all.”

“Yeah, sure.” Lily replied smugly before walking away trying to find Ngila and Sirius.

“Hey, where are you going?” James yelled out running up beside her.

“I'm attempting to find my best friend.” Lily replied now coming closer to the hill Ngila
had just tumbled down.

“What are you talking about? I'm right here, silly!” James said stupidly.

“Has anyone ever told you that you should be a stand up comedian?” Lily asked him while
approaching the top of the hill.

“No, but now that you mention it I am quite funny, aren't I?” James inquired.

“Of course you are.” Lily told him sweetly while patting his shoulder in a sympathetic manner
and spotting Ngila and Sirius lying on their backs staring up at the sky.

“What are you guys doing down there?” James shouted as he and Lily came up to them.

“Looking at the clouds.” Sirius said as if James should have known.

“Look, look at the one, Sirius. It looks like an upside down hippogriff doing the bump with a
pixie.” Ngila said excitedly while hitting Sirius in the shoulder and pointing up at the sky.

“That one's better. It looks like McGonagall making out with a goblin.” Sirius told her
while smirking.

“That's so perverse you strange little man.” Ngila spoke while laughing.

“You know, I am starting to think you are normal compared to these two hoodlums.” Lily told
James.

“Did you just call them hoodlums?” James asked while smiling and giving her an odd look.

“Yes, do you have a problem with that stud!?” Lily shot back.

“You do come up with some interesting insults, I'll give you that.” James told her while
sitting on the ground next to the two “hoodlums” who continued to point out weird pictures in the
clouds.

“I happen to be very creative.” Lily stated while taking a seat next to him staring out on the
grounds of her beloved school.

“Or you just have an oddly extensive vocabulary.”

“I'm not the one that carries a dictionary around in my pocket at all times (a/n: I do
that!).”

“Leave me alone. I told you I like to expand my vocabulary.”

“But it is a bit dodgy that you carry a dictionary around.”

“It's not dodgy, it's…..unique.”

“Uniquely differentiated. I like it.”

“I didn't say that.”

“I know, I did, and I like it.”

“And you still have to nerve to call me odd!”

“You still are.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”


”Yes.”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“NO!”

“YES!”

“Will you two idiots just shut the fuck up!?” Ngila finally screamed out.

“Ditto, you two are acting as if you were three years old.” Sirius remarked while propping
himself up on his elbows.

“He started it.” Lily whispered while looking down and pointing at James.

“Did not, you were the one that called me odd.” James shouted at her looking sour.

“I was only being the honest person that I am and you should respect that.” Lily pointed out
quaintly.

“Honest, shmonest! You were most certainly telling lies about me.” James said while crossing his
arms and sticking his nose up in the air.

“Sweet Jesus, you two are the most asinine teenagers I have seen in my days.” Ngila muttered
while shaking her head after sitting up next to Sirius.

“And you won't see many more if you call me asinine again.” Lily told her while standing
up.

“I am not asinine!” James yelled.

“Let's go Potter, before you're best friend starts using freaky adjectives to describe
us too.” Lily said while motioning for James.

“You two should be ashamed of yourselves.” James scolded and wagged a finger before shaking a
finger at the two of them.

“Absurd those two are.” Sirius told Ngila while watching their retreating backs.

“You said it my brother from another mother.” Ngila breathed back while lying back down and
ignoring Sirius' odd look of confusion.

Thank you for the reviews my home slices! Much obliged if I do say so myself!

Once again, as I said before in the chapter, I actually carry a pocket dictionary around because
I enjoy enhancing my vocabulary. I find it oddly liberating.

Excuse the amount of times odd was used in this chapter. I seem to feel that it was used quite a
bit but it is the word of the day because I apparently said weird too much in common speech.

Anyway, get back to your other activities, but not before reviewing. Thanks a bunch!

-Bex



4. Of Brainwashing and Confessions
----------------------------------



“What could this possibly be about?” Lily wondered aloud as the seventh years of all four houses
wandered down to the Great Hall for some sort of meeting.

“Maybe Dumbledore is going to tell us that we don't have to take our N.E.W.T.'s this
year.” Sirius suggested as he came up behind Lily and Ngila.

“Fat chance, Padfoot, maybe they're publicly expelling Snape from the school.” James said as
he came up next to Sirius.

“You two are idiots. They are obviously bringing all of the seventh years together in the Great
Hall to inject some sort of brain washing fluid into our brains so we have to obey them once we
leave school.” Ngila told them sounding very logical.

“Oh, of course, why the hell didn't I think of that?” Lily spat out sarcastically while
rolling her eyes and throwing her hands up.

“Quite down, all of you, we're about to begin.” Professor McGonagall cried out as the
foursome took their seats at the Gryffindor table and Remus and Peter joined them.

“Do you four have any idea what this is about?” Remus whispered to them.

“No bloody clue.” Lily whispered back.

“Watch your mouth!” Ngila exclaimed loudly causing the hushed room to look her way. “Sorry.” She
cried out once again with a bright smile on her face.

“Great, now if we don't have any more interruptions,” Professor McGonagall looked towards
Ngila who shrank under her gaze, “I'd like to begin with tonight's announcements.

“As you all know, Halloween is steadily approaching and Professor Dumbledore has decided that
this year Hogwart's will be host to its own costume ball. Everyone must come dressed as a
character approved by their head of house so as not to have any repeats. Please try to think of
something original. The ball will be open to fifth year and above, unless a younger student is
invited, and the announcement to the whole school will be made tomorrow during lunch.

“Lastly, Hogwart's will once again have its annual Yule Ball. All rules from the years
before apply this year accept this year no one shall be permitted to wear dress robes. You all
shall be wearing muggle clothing which means that the women shall be wearing dresses and the men,
tuxedoes. Once again the ball is only open to fourth year and above unless a younger student is
invited. This shall be announced tomorrow at lunch as well.

“As seniors of this school you all must set an example to the younger students. That means that
during these activities any inappropriate behavior observed shall not go unpunished. I do hope that
all of you understand what this means because under no circumstances so I want to have to punish
anyone knowing that this is your seventh and final year at this terrific school. I believe that is
all. Back to your dormitories and no stalling.”

Soon the marauders along with Lily and Ngila had all made it back to Gryffindor tower and were
discussing the announcements made earlier that night.

“Halloween is like two weeks from Friday, right?” Peter asked the group.

“Yeah, I think so. They better have a few Hogsmeade trips scheduled so I can get what I need for
my costume.” Ngila exclaimed.

“What are you going to dress as?” Lily asked her curiously.

“It's a surprise. Maybe I'll tell you later so you can help me out.” Ngila told her.

“What do you boys plan on dressing as?” Lily asked the marauders.

“I have no clue. Maybe I'll get some girl with a good idea to go with me and we can dress as
some cool couple.” Sirius explained thoughtfully.

“That's so…..asinine.” Ngila spat disgustedly.

“I don't think so. I won't have to think to hard about my costume.” Sirius said.

“The whole point of the ball is to be creative and different. You should choose your own costume
rather than rely on someone else's imagination.” Lily explained, shocked along with Ngila.

“Whatever. What are you going to be Prongs?” Sirius said, changing the topic.

“I don't know yet. We have a little time so I'll think about it.” James said.

“What about you Remus?” Ngila asked again.

“I'm going to need some time to think about it. I'm really not that creative.” Remus
said sadly.

“It's the same thing with me. It will take me forever.” Peter explained.

“Well, I'm going to go upstairs and plan. I want to be very prepared.” Ngila said and got up
preparing to go to bed but grabbing her shoes first.

“Yea, I'll go with you.” Lily called after her.

The two girls said their goodbyes to all the boys and hugged who they needed to hug before
heading up the stairs to the girl's dormitory.

“So what are you going to do?” Lily asked Ngila as they settled on her bed.

“I'm stuck between two. I'm either going to be Ingrid Bergman from *Casablanca* or
Mary Antoinette with her head cut off. Professor Flitwick could probably help me with those really
hard charms but I'm still not sure.” Ngila explained.

“Those are pretty good. I'm not sure what I want to be. I'll think of something really
cool though.” Lily told her.

“You should be a cowgirl and just go around lassoing people. It would be wickedly irritating but
wicked cool at the same time!” Ngila exclaimed.

“Now that's just stupid. By the way I had something I wanted to talk you about.” Lily ended
shyly.

“What's up, babe?”

“It's just…well….James likes me, right?”

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure he still does.”

“OK, well I was just….you know….checking. I'm going to go back to bed now.” Lily stuttered
and then tried to climb off the bed as quickly as she could.

“No, I don't think so, Lillian.” Ngila said sternly and grabbed her arm to pull her back on
the bed.

“What is it, Ngila? I just wanted to know if he still liked me.” Lily lied.

“Nice try, but I know it's not true. What's going on?” Ngila asked, her eyes
narrowing.

**Switches very rapidly to Lily's point of view**

“Nothing, I was just curious, is all.” I lied again. I was talking faster now and I could tell
by the look on Ngila's face that she knew I was lying to her.

“Out with it, Lily, because I know you're hiding something from me.” She said again. What am
I supposed to do? She should know….right?”

“Oh gods, Ngila, I think I fell in love with him.” I cried as my face fell into her shoulder so
my voice was thoroughly muffled.

“WHAT!?” She shrieked….right next to my ear!

“I'm in love with the bloody prat.” I cried again lifting my head up again and bursting into
tears.

“Oh dear.” She said softly and enveloped me in a huge hug.

I just sank into it and cried into her shoulder. I don't know how long I stayed like that
but it was then that I realized that Ngila was the most amazing person I have ever met. She stayed
with me, all though she could have pushed me off forever ago, for almost two hours just rubbing my
back and speaking softly to me while I cried into her shoulder. Her shirt is probably ruined
permanently.

“Ngila, I love you.” I sniffled lifting my head from her shoulder. She just smiled at me and
chuckled. It was then I noticed that she was crying too.

“I love you too, baby.” She laughed. I pushed myself out of her arms and jumped off the bed to
sit on the floor and lean against my own bed which was next to hers. She crawled off her bed and
did the sat opposite me in the same manner.

“Why are you crying?” I asked curiously.

“I always cry when other people cry. It makes me so sad to see others like that.” She explained
while chucking me a box of tissues.

“God, Ny, what am I going to do?”

“Are you positively sure that you're in love with him?”

“No, I'm not completely sure. I mean I get little butterflies and stuff but I'm so
confused.”

“Then don't do anything. I mean, what if you're making a mistake and you just think you
love him right now. If you march right up to him and tell him you could be making the biggest
mistake of your life.”

“So, I just ignore him?”

“Don't ignore him! I just meant treat him like you normally do. Pay close attention to him
though and to your feelings when you're around him. I don't mean stalk him. I mean just
watch him for a while and think about him.”

“What will that accomplish?”

“You might suddenly come to the revelation that you don't love him or that you do love him.
You can't just jump into love without observing him for a bit first and getting to know
him.”

“What if he asks me to the Halloween ball?”

“Do you want to go with him?”

“I don't know.”

“Tell him you'll think about. That way you don't have to say yes but you don't have
to say no either.”

“You're a life saver, did you know that?”

“Yes, I believe I did.” Ngila was smirking like crazy at me now.

“What time is it?”

“Would you believe it's only like 9:15?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, strange.”

“You want to go downstairs to the common room?”

“Sure, why not?”

I got up and walked over to her to extend a hand. I soon pulled her up and we were walking down
the stairs of the dormitory to the common room where James and Sirius were still sitting in front
of the fire talking. Ngila motioned for me to be quiet and grabbed a pillow. I suddenly knew what
she was going to do and grabbed a pillow of my own. Of course, she went for Sirius which left me
with James. I looked over at him in front of the fire and suddenly froze.

He had changed into a t-shirt and his hair was as messy as usual and he had his glasses off. His
chocolate brown eyes were reflecting the firelight and the t-shirt was tight enough to show the
defined muscles he had. He wasn't like a body builder or anything but he was lean and muscular.
Not beefy but not like a twig either. So, there was definitely a physical attraction.

Next thing I knew, Ngila's hand was waving in front of my face. I mouthed an apology to her
and quietly crept up behind James. I looked over at Ngila and she winked at me. I held out my
fingers and counted down from three. Feathers were soon flying everywhere and Sirius and James were
shrieking like little school girls while me and Ngila were literally rolling on the floor
laughing.

“You did this.” James growled at us while he and Sirius stood over us glaring.

“Yes, Mr. Potter, I do believe we did.” Ngila managed to choke out.

“Both of you shall regret the day you ever crossed the paths of Sirius Black and James
Potter.”

The tone of voice that Sirius used and the look on their faces only made us laugh harder. Soon I
couldn't breathe but was determined to stay alive just a moment longer to see what they would
do. They pounced.

Sirius and Ngila were wrestling beside me while James had pinned me to the floor trying to make
me beg for mercy.

“Say it, Evans, say, `James Potter, you are an absolute god and I shall never terrorize you
again.'” James playfully said in a high pitched supposedly girl's voice.

“You can't make me Potter. I shall never succumb to your request.” I smiled.

“Oh, someone's using big words.” Sirius choked out next to us from the head lock Ngila had
currently held him in.

“And you said *I* would regret crossing *your* path, Black.” Ngila laughed while
ruffling his hair.

“Watch the hair, Ken!” He shrieked in a very high tone of voice which made me laugh even harder
than I already was.

“Say it, Evans, you know you want to.” James then said bringing my attention back to him.

“I really don't think so, James.” I said and used curled my leg around his waist so I could
flip him onto his back, which I did successfully.

“How the hell did you do that?” James shrieked.

“I fight a lot with my sister.” I shrugged while straddling him and sitting up. He still stayed
lying on the ground.

“Gods, Lil, I've been imagining you in this position forever.” James groaned but it
wasn't real.

“James Potter!” I screamed and smacked him in the chest while rolling over off of him and
crawling up so my back was against the back of the couch.

“What? I'm a seventeen year old boy. It's only natural for me to say things like
that.”

“Yes, but you were being nice and playful before and then you turn into a perverse little
freak.”

“Ngila doesn't mind Sirius being a perverse little freak.” James motioned over to Ngila and
Sirius who were having a very detailed conversation about the male anatomy.

“That's because Ngila has many brothers and enjoys that perverse sense of humor. She's a
cynical ass and thinks about sex almost as much as you do. However, I am not like that.”

“You never think about sex?”

“I never said that. I just don't think about it ever fifteen seconds.”

“I don't think about it that much!”

“Yes, you do.”

“Alright, but what does it matter? I said it before and I'll say it again. I'm a
seventeen year old boy!”

“And I'm a seventeen year old girl but I manage to control my comments on sexual fantasies
and such.”

“Oh my gods, Lily Meredith Evans has sexual fantasies. Do tell.” Ngila suddenly squealed leaving
Sirius to follow her as she crawled to me and James.

“That is sort of a private matter. We're in the middle of the common room!” I blushed.

“So, we'll go up to the boy's dorm. Right, guys?” Ngila said looking at them for
conformation.

“Oh Hera, I'd love to continue this conversation upstairs.” Sirius let out quickly.

“Then let's go!” she exclaimed and leapt up.

If you have been following along you will note that I have had absolutely no say in this at all.
I shouldn't be talking this way with two hormonal teenage boys. That would have them thinking
about me the wrong way. It doesn't matter of course because I was dragged up the stairs anyway
and the door to the dormitory was locked as the four of us sat Indian style on the floor in a
circle.

“Alright, Lils, it's time to spill.” Sirius chuckled as he rhymed.

“I'm not going first!” I squeaked, “I didn't want to come up here in the first place.
Why are we even having this conversation? Cor, I'm uncomfortable.”

“Fine, Lilsy, just calm down a bit. I'll go first if it makes you feel better. I can't
believe I'm telling you people this.” Ngila spoke calmly.

I was amazed that she was able to let it all out there but she did always have major balls. For
a girl, that is. Ny always had a perverse sense of humor and had the amazing ability to have an
entire conversation lasting as long as one would like about sex. I would consider her a
nymphomaniac but she's still a virgin. Of course, you wouldn't suspect that after listening
to her talk. She's an expert but with no hands on experience.

“I've always wanted to have a bit of `how's your father' on the Slytherin table in
the great hall. I would just go in there with a guy during the day when no meals are happening in
the dark and just do it on the table. That way they would eat there everyday and never know what
happened there as I smirk happily and chomp on my food.” Ngila finished while licking her lips.
She's obviously thought about this before and isn't going into full detail with the boys
around. I know for a fact that she'd tell me everything.

“That wasn't nasty at all! I thought this would be an r-rated conversation!” Sirius
exclaimed.

“I'm not going to going to fully explain my wet dreams to you right here.” Ngila playfully
shouted at him.

“And here I was thinking that we had to go into detail. I had a skit planned out, you know.”
Sirius shouted.

Dear readers,

If you haven't notice, I've up-ed the rating because I am actually writing based on
fact. My friends and I are in high school and I believe we talk about sex everyday. We're all
bloody obsessed. I also tend to have a perverse sense of humor so, you know. Please review. Thanks
a bunch.

-Bex