1. The Letter

The Letter

By Felicia (aka CurlyCutie)

Dear Lily

Yes I know it's strange to write you a letter when you're in Harry's room right next door, but I felt that I needed to.

With everything that's been happening, and all the problems and worrying. Well I thought I should tell you that I do get scared every now and then.

I know that doesn't sound good but don't worry this gets better.

Because you make it all better Lils. If I catch a glimpse of you sparkling green eyes, everything surrounding you seems to melt and fade.

It's a funny combination of happenings but you've done it to me ever since you were fourteen.

I know I constantly tell you how beautiful you are, but I've never told you about that day when I noticed it.

So why don't I just walk over into the next room and tell you? Here's the thing, I want you to have something entertaining to do during one of those times when I'm off busy tending to Harry, and because for me its easier written then said.

Where was I? Oh yes when I first noticed when you were beautiful.

That would be September 3^rd of Fourth year. I hadn't seen you on the train.

(Which I bet you were happy about since Sirius had Sickles that he'd dropped, turn into mice as soon as Slytherins picked them up.)

I missed you at dinner. Then again later on again in the common room I didn't see you. I'll admit I wasn't looking for you the way a stalker would. But I was keeping an eye out for you.

Of course with getting schedules and everything the next day running to and fro to classes, I saw you but I didn't SEE you.

I was going to breakfast, when I saw you at the doors of the Great Hall waiting for your friends.

Your hair wasn't that long then, it was just past your shoulders. Then you turned.

Oh then you turned, and that's when the background melted and faded at the same time, there was just emerald eyes, fire hair surrounding a porcelain white face.

You just stood there, or maybe you were moving but it seemed as though nothing was moving, just me stepping closer to you.

Then you smiled…. that made me come even more undone.

// The first time ever I saw your face

I thought the sun rose in your eyes

And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave

To the night and the empty skies my love

To the night and the empty skies //

For the rest of the year, when I heard your laugh, saw your smile, or anything emerald green, my breath would get caught in my throat, and I'd have to hear my name or something just anything to wake me up the from the dream that was and still is you.

Well you know about all that happened between then and when you were gracious to give me a chance. I know that sounds sarcastic but it really is sincere.

I couldn't believe that you said in that exasperated but still heavenly voice “Look James we'll go to Hogsmead, I can't stand you begging anymore”

I couldn't believe it! I was congratulating myself that I'd won the prize. But you proved me wrong on that one. At first I thought to myself `How will this work? After she's mine will the wanting and needing be gone? Or is it the syndrome of I want what I can't have.'

It's been almost four years, love. I think that the wanting and needing is still evident by the way the background still fades.

Do you remember?

I know you're thinking `Remember what?'

Our first kiss.

I'm sighing with the memory now. It was so unexpected, to this day I still can't figure out who made the first move. I don't care! The point is one minute I'm content just looking at gemstone eyes, the next I'm seeing a kaleidoscope of colours behind closed eyes as I lose myself in the experience that was and is kissing Lily.

Lily, the name itself sounds like a holy word on a pedestal, and everything it's connected to is perfect too. You don't smell like flowers, well you do but you don't. I can't explain it, wait no I said I would so I will. Rain kissed flowers. Fresh outdoors, a freedom smell. That's what wrapped around my senses.

The feeling of red silken cords of hair around my hands, it brought back the memory I had of shopping with my mother, and she'd stopped to buy some dress robes and I played among the racks of silken robes. How they glide and made a swishy sound, well I was feeling that sound when I plunged my hands in your hair to deepen the kiss.

I can't decide which to talk about next out of the senses, the taste or sounds?

I'll flip a coin. Heads its taste and Tails its sounds.

Hold up, it's Heads!

Wow the taste, Lily for the record you taste good all over… and I know you're going to shake your head and then say when I walk into the room later “flattery won't get you anywhere or any at all”

But I can try can't I?

I'm kidding Lils.

So where was I? Oh yes the taste of Lily. Now I've been privileged to taste all and every bit of Lily. But it was that first taste that got me hooked.

You're my opium, but without the deadly affects.

You tasted like raspberries that day. Everyone always describes their first kiss with a different girl that they taste like strawberries, but you aren't just another girl. You're off the map in comparison. You were like an insatiable dessert I couldn't get enough of you. I felt like there was a vacuum in your mouth taking me in, but in the same way I also was like vacuum trying to consume you.

Hearing your reaction to the probing of my tongue, well that was the most satisfying sound I could ever hope to imagine coming from you. I won't say “you gave off kitten like meows” because you were no kitten. You were more tiger.

If there was no use for air then I would never stop kissing you to breath. Frankly I think it's a waste of time, and I think kissing you to death would be the most pleasant way to go.

//The first time ever I kissed your mouth

I felt the earth turn in my hand

Like the trembling heart of a captive bird

That was there at my command my love

That was there at my command//

So far I've described many memorable things that have happened between you and me as firsts. Oh but Lily, they're paling and fading in comparison to when you were first mine fully.

God, you can't imagine how hard it is to describe pure love, worshipping someone's body, completeness, passion, desire, and satisfaction in one word. Whatever that word is Lily that's how you made and make me feel over and over.

You're a work of art. All those famous paintings and statues of women can't compare.

I've memorized every part of you, the porcelain white skin that's deliciously creamy and feels like warmed cream against my lips. The swell of your breasts, the curve of your back, the flare of your hips, the flat plain of your stomach (even though now since Harry you deny it, but it is true), the birthmark you have on your left shoulder blade, the way your pinkie toes curl a little inwards.

I could go on for hours.

I've told you that you're beautiful, and daily I constantly compliment you and praise your personality traits, but this is the first time I've written it out black and white to tell you what you do to me physically.

You were made for me. There's no way around it, you mold right against me and I swear I hear a `click' noise. I can't imagine ever being with someone else.

I never was.

Yea you read that right, I never was. It was always everything but….

I may have been a prat but I knew that I wanted to be emotionally attached. Sirius goes about it all wrong with the no emotions stuff.

The initial act was outstanding, but just lying next to you, wrapped in the warmth of you. Just loving every breath of you was enough to take my breath away. Hearing your heart beat rapidly like a fluttering bird's, made me feel good. I'll admit I was proud that I was able to do that and have that affect on you. But then I knew you were proud of reducing James Potter to a gasping, begging, heap of a man.

I knew you loved me, so then the physical part was just another confirmation.

Oh and what a confirmation. Did you know if I had my way about the world, our lives would just consist of a bed and a bath? You're gloriously talented Lil.

And don't start blushing because you know it's true.

You know everything that affects me, I swear I think you must have taken up Occlemency secretly or some other mind reading practice, because you always know what turns me on the most.

Wow ok umm I better stop with that or I start to let my mind wander, and well …. ok stopping now!

// The first time ever I lay with you

And felt your heart beat close to mine

I thought our joy would fill the earth

And would last 'till the end of time my love

And would last 'till the end of time//

This is the longest letter I've ever written Lils, almost four feet of parchment. But it doesn't seem to be enough to show you how I love you.

I think the only way I can end this letter of is with the best and simplest but complex way possible.

I Love You Lily

---Love James

P.S. I know that it was an oxymoron in the last sentence, how can love be simple and complex?

It's just that Love is a complete and utter devotion to someone that cannot be described in words, but the action its self is such an easy task.

Well with that thought I'm ending this letter so that when you come into the room and I'm downstairs doing whatever you can re-read it again in the luxurious bath that is waiting for you. Don't worry just because you're the Charms Master doesn't mean I don't know a good warming spell.

Love you Lils

The Letter

1. The Letter

2. This is the end... or is it?