You Are My Reason

jltat

Rating: PG
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 28/03/2004
Last Updated: 28/03/2004
Status: completed

He sat in the same bar, in the same corner, every night, for the past 2 years. He no longer had a reason to live. Well, no scratch that, he had a reason, she just wasn't in his life anymore. Song-fic.

Chapters

1. You

1. You

Title: You're My Reason

Author: jltat

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. I do not own Hoobastank's song, “The Reason.”

Author's Note: This is my first attempt at a fic that I actually decided to post, so tell me how it is, I'd love to hear some feedback…

He had no reason to live. He sat at in the corner of a muggle bar, same as every other night for the past 2 years, using his fake ID to get away with drinking. Harry Potter was a broken man. At the mere age of 20, he had lost everything. Sure, his fame for being the man that vanquished the dark lord was there, but he wouldn't have really counted that as something to brag about, seeing how that was what caused him all his troubles to begin with.

Since the battle, he fell into a deep state of depression. He had decided it was best to leave the wizarding world for a while, so he walked away from it all after defeating Voldemort and hadn't looked back since. He didn't really miss his world, just certain people that were in it. Hermione... So much had been lost in that last battle, and as much as Harry had tried to stop those he loved from getting hurt, they were still ultimately affected.

During the beginning of his 7th year at Hogwarts, Harry and Hermione became what people would call an item. They seemed to be perfect. However, when Voldemort attacked Hermione's parents, Harry knew he had to act fast. He knew that Voldemort had only attacked them to get to Harry, and he would be damned if Voldemort thought he was going to lay a finger on Hermione. So, Harry changed. He became cold, heartless, cruel even. He needed to push her away and make her think he didn't care anymore, because Harry knew that she would never let him fight his battle alone. He pushed her away, and in the process, broke both of their hearts.

Flashback

“Harry, why are you acting like this?” Hermione demanded, “This isn't you!”

“And how would you know what is and what isn't me?” Harry said.

“I'm your best friend, and I know people don't just change overnight.”

“Then I guess you never really knew me at all… I don't know what I ever saw in you… you're nothing but a bushy-haired, know-it-all,” Harry replied in a whispered, not meaning any of it. O god… please Hermione, I'm sorry he pleaded to himself.

Hermione's eyes welled up in tears, “If that's how you feel, then fine. Good-bye Harry Potter.” And she walked away, never knowing how much he actually did love her.

End Flashback

That was one week before graduation. One week before they all left to go their separate ways. One week before Harry Potter ridded the world of Tom Riddle, once and for all.

Now, Harry Potter lives in a 2 bedroom flat by himself, an author of a bestsellers book by day, singer at a bar at night. He sang for all that he lost, all that he threw away, all for her. He approached the mike, waited for the music to start, and sang.

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do

…Like push you out of my life…

But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you

…I didn't mean to hurt you…

And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be

…That person wasn't really me…

A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday

…And it haunts me everyday too…

And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away

…I would do anything to take it away…

And be the one who catches all your tears

…God, what I wouldn't give to be there for you…

Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is You

The reason is you

…You'll always be my reason…

Harry stepped off the stage and went back to his little table in the corner. There was an explanation for why he chose that particular song to sing that day. He decided that he had wasted enough of his life drinking it away. He was turning over a new leaf, so to speak. She would be his motivation, and even though she wasn't there, the memory of her was enough. With one last sip of his drink, Harry left the bar.

On his way out, someone caught his arm. All at once he was engulfed by a familiar scent. 2 years, and he still remembered that smell. Harry turned around and was face to face with the person whom he hurt with a mere nine words.

… I don't know what I ever saw in you…

She had tears streaming down her face, just like the last time. They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Then, she spoke.

“Dumbledore came to me a few weeks ago, he told me about everything leading up to the defeat of Vodlemort, you know,” she said.

Harry just stared and only managed a weak sounding “oh.”

“H..he told me why you did what you did… and said what you said,” she said in a quieter tone.

“…Oh”

“Did you really mean what you sang up there, Harry?” she asked, in a choked voice.

Harry stared at her, then very slowly, very deliberately, he whispered, “Every word.”

She pulled him into a rough kiss. 2 years of loneliness and grief all went into that one moment. Then he knew.

She was his reason.