Rating: R
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 08/02/2003
Last Updated: 08/02/2003
Status: Completed
A Harry/Hermione romance
Disclaimer: You guys know the score. None of this is mine - it's all JK Rowling's. Well, except for the little poem/song at the beginning here. That's mine.
"This morning I woke up to something new
We can't deny that things have changed, between me and you
It's hard to describe the way that I now feel
I only hope I don't wake up to realise, none of it's real
All of this is exciting and strange
And I know this means that everything will change
Just yesterday you were only my best friend
Now I can't wait to touch you, all over again
Suddenly I realise
All this time my heart's been telling me lies"
Revelations
Hermione sat in the classroom, paying no attention to Professor Binns' lecture about the history of wizard/muggle relations. Normally, she would have been the only one who actually listened to the Professor. But, lately, she found her mind wandering, not only in this class, but in all of them.
It had started to happen so slowly, that she hadn't even realised a vital change was occurring. Until this morning.
She woke up, went down to breakfast in the Great Hall, and he said "Good morning" to her in his usual kind and caring voice. Then, when she looked at him, the full force of what she had started to feel when they'd first met on the Hogwarts Express six years ago, hit her with the intensity of a magic she'd never thought existed. All of a sudden, she knew herself. She had always known him, always cared for him, but her mind lied to her heart, and she believed it was nothing more than that.
But now, as if she was confronting this lie head-on, she knew how she really felt.
I'm in love with him! Hermione thought in a mixture of shock and amazement. I'm in love with Harry!
"Hermione?" a voice said, interrupting her thoughts. "Hermione, class is over. Are you okay?"
It was Harry. He looked at her with concern clearly evident in his striking green eyes. She could freely admit to herself now how much she loved that look, those eyes.
"Are you alright?" he repeated, a note of desperation entering his voice.
She blinked twice, quickly, snapping herself out of her coma-like state.
"Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine, Harry. Thanks," she smiled to reassure him as she practically choked out the words. She loved his concern, yet she suddenly felt a strong pain in her heart, the pain of the notion that his concern was merely out of friendship, nothing more.
He began to speak again, the desperation gone, but the concern still evident in every part of him.
"I was looking at you during the lesson. Your eyes were all glazed over, and you looked completely out of it. I've never seen that expression on your face in a lesson before," he smiled in an impish way. "I mean, Hermione Granger not paying attention in class?! It's a scandal big enough to make the Daily Prophet!"
She laughed. "Ha ha, very funny." Sobering, she continued. "I'm just not feeling myself today."
Her heart melted as he wore his worried face once more.
"Then who are you?" her other best friend, Ron Weasley, interrupted. "If you don't feel like yourself, who do you feel like?" His eyes grinned mischievously. "You don't feel like Pavarti Patil, do you? Cos I'd love to know how she really feels about me."
He grinned as Harry and Hermione burst into laughter.
"Come on," she said, still smiling, "let's go to lunch."
( ( ( ( ( ( (
The rest of the day passed fairly uneventfully. But then again, Hermione mused, Voldemort could have brought an entire army of Death Eaters into the school, and she wouldn't have even blinked.
At the moment, all she could do was think about Harry. Again, she marvelled at her newly discovered emotions. How could she have loved him for six years and never even realised? It seemed impossible to her. Yet she knew it was possible. Now, she knew with a certainty that her academic mind didn't even possess, that she did love him.
Hermione found herself walking around in a zombie-like state, unable to concentrate on anything but her thoughts for Harry.
Ron seemed to find this very amusing, as she had temporarily stopped nagging him about this or that. But Harry was Mr Worried Man. Every time he looked at her, his eyes narrowed slightly, as if he was looking at a mental patient that he believed could snap at any second.
Worse than that, Hermione found that she didn't know how to behave around her boys anymore. She felt distant to Ron because of her guilt for essentially preferring Harry. The part of her mind that couldn't stop thinking as if she was inside a classroom had always thought of their friendship as being like an equilateral triangle. No side was more important than the other. These feelings she now had directly contradicted this theory, and she felt as though she was, in a way, betraying Ron. And to add to that sense of betrayal, she couldn't even confide in him as she ordinarily would.
Her reason for distancing herself from Harry was obvious. She seemed to forget how to behave normally around him. How could you have a friendly chat with someone who was more than a friend, and didn't even know it? And, as with Ron, she felt a sense of guilt and betrayal for not being able to explain her heart to him, as she had done for six years.
Why didn't I ever make close girl friends?, she thought to herself in frustration.
( ( ( ( ( ( (
Harry lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He was alone in the dormitory that he shared with Ron and for that he was surprisingly relieved. He loved Ron as his friend, and had been more than thrilled when, at the beginning of this, their seventh year, they'd been able to move out of the five-person dorm they had shared with Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas, into a smaller, yet more comfortable, two-person dorm. But at the moment, his best friend was completing the detention he'd earned in Professor McGonagall's class for having, what Hermione referred to as, "a smart mouth."
Hermione, Harry thought, suddenly aware that this was why he was glad Ron wasn't there. He wanted to be alone to think about her. To try and figure out what was wrong with her.
He'd noticed her attempts to subtly distance herself from both Harry and Ron. When he'd brought up his concerns with Ron, his happy-go-lucky friend just dismissed it as being "that time of the month."
Harry had laughed at Ron's explanation, and pretended everything was fine. Except that he knew everything wasn't fine. Harry knew Hermione, better than Ron did, and, in Harry's mind, perhaps better than she knew herself. He knew her behaviour was not caused by "the female curse", as Ron liked to call it, in an effort to irritate Hermione.
Harry couldn't quite explain it, but lately, in these first few weeks of their last year at Hogwarts, Hermione seemed to look at him differently. At first he had dismissed it, offhand, as being completely in his imagination. But his conscious mind quickly realised what his sub-conscious mind already knew. Hermione had changed.
She had been famous, within the school, for always giving 110% of her attention to the Professor in each and every class. Now, it was rare for her to pay any attention at all!
And, of course, Harry knew that Hermione's feelings for himself and Ron, her best friends, had also appeared to change. He wasn't sure how exactly, but he didn't think it was for the better.
Aside from a rather shaky beginning, when both Harry and Ron found Hermione decidedly boring and far too opinionated to be around, their friendship had blossomed, and become the most important thing in Harry's life. He honestly didn't know what he would do without the fun-loving and cheeky Ron, or the intelligent and kind Hermione.
Harry could count on his friends for almost anything. Together, they were more whole, more complete, than they were on their own. Harry knew that Ron could be called upon if he needed cheering up, or even just a bit of comic relief in the sometimes harsh atmosphere at Hogwarts. He also knew that Ron would stand by Harry when most people would run in the other direction. Ron was like the brother Harry never had.
Hermione, on the other hand, was much more serious and studious than Ron or Harry. She had helped both of them in the past six school years. Harry didn't think a more intelligent person existed, and Hermione was always ready and willing to help out with homework and study.
That was the aspect of her that everyone knew about. Sometimes Harry thought that that was all people saw when they looked at Hermione - just a really smart girl. But Harry knew that there was so much more to her than that.
She was eternally supportive, brave and loyal to a fault. Harry would always remember the time when, in their fourth year, Harry's name had come out of the Goblet of Fire and he'd been entered into the Tri Wizards Tournament. The entire school, including Ron, had blamed and hated him for it, and all but Hermione had abandoned him. Harry didn't think he would ever be able to repay her for such loyalty.
She was also unreservedly kind and caring. She put her best friends before herself at all times. She was so genuine, always 100% herself. And despite being top of their year for the past six years, Harry didn't know anyone as modest as Hermione.
And she's so beautiful, Harry suddenly thought.
He bolted upright on the bed. "Did I just think that?" he said aloud to himself, before stopping, embarrassed, at this uncharacteristic display of the first sign of madness.
She is, and you know it, his mind yammered back to him.
"Wait, stop," Harry told himself, no longer caring whether he sounded mad. "Hermione's my best friend. She's one of the most important people in the world to me. But that's as far as it goes. I mean yes, she's very pretty, but..."
When are you going to stop lying to yourself? the little voice screamed in his head. You've never seen anyone more beautiful than her. No one's even come close. Why can't you admit how you feel about her? How you've felt about her since the moment she pushed herself into your train compartment, looking for Trevor? This feeling is never going to go away, no matter how much you try to deny it even exists. Do you really want her to never know how you feel about her? Do you want life to pass you both by, and all the while, she'll never know that...
"I love her!" Harry cried out, partly in surprise and partly in defeat. With his eyes wide, he looked around the room, and this revelation somehow made everything seem new and different. He saw the photo frame on his bedside table and snatched it up. It held two photos. One, taken at the end of their first year, showed Hermione sandwiched between Harry and Ron. The three figures all wore equally large grins, and, from time to time, would wave up at Harry.
The other photo was nearly identical to the first, except that it was taken three months ago; a week after the three of them had foiled Voldemort's latest plans, and sent him away, hopefully for good. Harry noted the physical changes that could be seen in each of them, from one photo to the other.
Ron had changed the least. His face had become a little fuller, and because of it, his nose did not look quite as long as it really was. His eyes and grin were identical in each.
Harry, himself, had been through several changes. The short and skinny boy present in the first photo had transformed into a handsome, tall and well-toned young man. His jaw had become much more square, which gave him a much more masculine look about him, and it showed signs of stubble. His hair, much to his frustration, had not changed. It was still completely unruly.
Hermione likes it though, he thought to himself. She always sits and plays with it.
Harry smiled at the thought, and continued smiling wistfully as he examined Hermione in each photo.
She had changed the most. Her bushy brown hair had become attractively wavy. Her buckteeth had shrunk in their fourth year and the difference to her smile was remarkable.
Harry blushed slightly as he noticed the changes to her body. The skinny eleven year-old had blossomed into a rather curvaceous seventeen year-old. Harry blushed again, deeper this time, when he observed that the two small bumps on her chest had been replaced by very full breasts.
Harry shook his head, quickly, as if trying to shake out the image he now had of Hermione as a woman.
A very sensuous woman, his mind said slyly.
Harry ignored this, and focused on her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes, unchanged over time. In her eyes, he always felt as if he could see deep into her heart and soul. But now, suddenly, he realised that he could also see his own soul through her eyes.
He marvelled at how his love for a girl always thought of as only his friend, had transformed into love for the woman that she had become.
He took in a sharp breath. "But look at the way she's behaving around me now?" he said aloud. "How can I tell her? It might push her away even further, and I may lose her forever!"
Yes, his mind whispered. There are risks, as there are in any situation involving the heart. But are you a Gryffindor or not? You're brave! Besides, if you don't tell her, she may pull away from you anyway. It's worth the risk.
Harry sighed. "I'll see what happens at dinner..."
( ( ( ( ( ( (
Hermione sat across the Gryffindor table from Harry and Ron. She tried to behave as she normally did: laugh at Ron's jokes, "tsk, tsk" when he told her he hadn't completed his homework.... But Harry was making her uncomfortable. The concern that she had seen in his eyes earlier had been replaced by what looked to Hermione like deep sadness and confusion. Why this was, she didn't know. He was also being very quiet. Hermione knew Harry well enough to know that, when he was in some kind of depression, he did become very quiet, and would scarcely say a word. At times like that, Hermione found that it relaxed and helped Harry to feel better when she would play with his hair. But what she could only freely admit to herself no, was that it relaxed and improved her state of mind too.
She would sit in her large and comfortable chair by the fire in the Gryffindor common room, and he would sit on the floor at her feet, with his head in her lap. She would entwine her fingers in his hair and massage his scalp, while he looked reflectively in the flames. After a while, he would get up, smile, kiss her on the cheek and go to bed. The next morning, he always returned to being his old self again.
But Hermione knew she couldn't do that now. She wanted to, with all of her heart and soul. She was very strong and could withstand many things. But seeing Harry in trouble was never one of them. More than anything, she wanted to make him feel better, as she ordinarily would. Part of her longed to touch him again. But another, at the moment, stronger part of her just couldn't.
As much as she knew it would relieve his suffering, and to a certain extent, even her own, it was too hard, too complicated. Now that she had recognised how much she loved him, she didn't think touching him, and being with him in that innocent, yet intimate way was good for her. Hermione was scared of opening herself up to Harry, even though she had finally opened up to herself. In her mind, which always sought the most logical answer, one of two things would happen.
Either such intimacy without honesty would hurt her too much to even define, or it would force her to reveal her heart to him - and open the door for Harry's rejection. She didn't think that she could bare either option at the moment.
"Hermione?" Harry said quietly, jerking her attention back to the here and now. "Are you going to eat? Dinner's almost over and you've barely touched your food."
Hermione looked around her. The Great Hall was now less than a quarter full, and most of the remaining students had finished their meals, and were talking. She looked at Harry and Ron's empty plates, and her own practically full one.
She shook her head. "I guess I'm not that hungry."
Hermione looked up and met Harry's eyes. There was such a mixture of emotion in them; she couldn't even begin to entangle what he was thinking and feeling.
"Ron," someone said in a harsh voice Hermione herself often used when talking to him. "I need to speak to you. Now!"
It was Pavarti Patil, and she looked angry.
Ron flushed and stood, nervously. "Sure, yeah, okay, uh-huh."
"Stop muttering and come with me," and Pavarti turned on her heel and walked quickly out of the Hall, towards the staircases.
Ron sighed. "Better go, guys. See you later."
And with that he was gone, leaving Hermione and Harry essentially alone. There was now only a handful of people left in the Great Hall, and most of them were starting to stir.
"Do you want to go?" Harry asked, still speaking quietly.
Hermione looked cautiously into his brilliant green eyes. "Yeah."
They walked up the stairs and through the hallways in silence. Ordinarily, the two would talk non-stop, and walk so close together that they were always shoulder to shoulder. Tonight, Hermione made an effort that she was certain Harry had noticed, not to walk to closely next to him. She made sure that there was a significant gap between them at all times.
"Gillyweed," Hermione said to the Fat Lady as they finally reached the entrance to the Gryffindor common room entrance.
The Fat Lady yawned, and swung forward on her hinges. "Okay, goodnight you two."
Hermione and Harry entered, and she was very suddenly aware that the room was empty.
Everyone must have gone to bed, she thought. At least this gives me an excuse to leave quickly.
Hermione started to walk towards the staircase that led up to the girls' dormitories. She stopped and turned around at the foot of the stairs, wanting to say goodnight to Harry, but he was gone.
"Harry?"
"I'm here," he answered.
She walked around the side of the couch and saw him. He was sitting on the floor in front of her chair, looking into the fire. He turned to look at her, his green eyes overbright, and seemingly pleading to her.
Hermione's heart melted. She cursed herself silently. He needed her, and she was being selfish.
She quickly crossed the remaining distance to him and sat down. Harry lay his head in her lap and closed his eyes. Hermione looked at the ceiling, blinking back tears, as she started to massage his head, and play with his hair.
After some time had passed, he stood, and Hermione congratulated herself for not crying. He looked at her and smiled, as he always did.
Now I really have to hold the tears in, she thought, willing herself to do so.
Then, as usual, he leant forward to kiss her cheek. Hermione closed her eyes and felt him kiss her, softly, just next to her mouth. This surprised and excited her, and she quickly opened her eyes. Harry was staring at her lips, and he looked almost terrified. When he saw that her eyes were open, he looked into them, still stooping over her.
Oh my God, Hermione thought as they stared into each other's eyes, realising that she'd never felt anything so intense in her whole life.
She didn't know how long they looked at each other. She soon had the amazing sensation of falling into him, as his whole body seemed to be moving closer and closer to her.
Wait! It's me! I'm moving closer to him! she thought, as his lips were a breath away from her own.
( ( ( ( ( ( (
Harry had never felt anything like this before. After he had stood up, preparing himself to give Hermione his usual smacking kiss goodnight on her cheek, something had taken over him. He felt as though he had been possessed. As she closed her eyes, he so desperately wanted to kiss her that he thought he was going to explode. He stopped himself, but just grazed the corner of her mouth with his lips. Suddenly, Harry felt as though a raging fire had been lit inside of him.
They had stared at each other so intensely, for so long, as Harry longed to make himself close the gap between their lips. Now, like a wonderful miracle, Hermione seemed to be trying to kiss him!
Harry closed his eyes as Hermione moved ever closer. Then, he felt the magical touch of their lips meeting for the first time. It felt so soft, so delicate, so tentative, and so sensual. They stayed in this way for a few seconds before he pulled back slowly, and looked at her in awe. She too looked amazed at what had just happened.
His anxiety quickly vanishing, this time Harry leaned forward. He pulled Hermione out of her chair, and held her tightly, with both arms around her waist. They kissed again. It started out slowly and delicately, like the first one, but begun to speed up, as they both felt a sudden hunger to be as close to each other as possible.
Hermione reached up her hands up to stroke his face, as Harry's own hands moved tentatively inside her shirt, and he began to caress her back.
They began to kiss each other with a fury now, and Harry could scarcely think straight. Before he knew what was happening, or who had started it, they were lying on the floor in each other's arms, half-naked being warmed by the heat of the fire.
Or maybe we're warming each other? Harry thought in wonder as he kissed her neck.
He moved away from her neck and began again on her lips, discarding the rest of their clothes in the process. He never wanted this to end.
But I have to ask her, he thought.
With an extraordinary effort Harry didn't realise he was capable of making, he pulled his mouth away from Hermione's and balanced his weight on his elbows. A shiver ran down his spine as he looked at her naked body underneath him. He realised, though, that this shiver also came from not being against the warmth of her skin. Harry's eyes moved from the soft, delicate skin between her breasts, up to her eyes.
They were both breathing heavily, and Harry could see a mixture of feelings in Hermione's eyes, all of which he was feeling himself. He could see confusion, as to why he'd pulled back. Fear, both of what they were about to do, and of the terrifying thought that it would change everything they'd ever known about each other. Lastly, possibly the strongest of all the emotions they both felt, he could see excitement and desire.
I still have to ask her, he thought. I don't want anything to happen that she may regret.
He looked deeply into Hermione's dazzling brown eyes, and truly felt that he could see into her soul.
He gulped and wet his lips. "Hermione, are you sure?"
She looked at him with the most tender and beautiful expression he'd ever seen. "Yes," she breathed, as she pulled his mouth back to hers.
( ( ( ( ( ( (
Hermione's mind was racing. Is this really happening? she thought wildly.
But she knew as she ran her fingers over the muscles in his back, and as she felt the flicker of his tongue on her breast that, yes, it was indeed happening.
Harry pulled back once more, and leaned his weight on his elbows. They looked into one another's eyes as he entered her for the first time.
Hermione bit her lip to stifle a cry of both pain and pleasure. She saw the fear and guilt in his eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asked huskily.
She smiled shyly at him. "Well, it is my first time, it's supposed to hurt a little."
"Do you want me to stop?"
She saw that he really meant it. Hermione's heart skipped a beat as she realised how important she must be to him.
"Never," she smiled.
( ( ( ( ( ( (
Hermione lay her head on Harry's chest as she sought for her breathing to return to normal. She could hear his heart beating at an extraordinary pace, just as quickly as hers, and smiled at the effect that they had had on each other.
Their hands were intertwined on Harry's stomach, as his other hand was coiled in her hair. Hermione looked into the fire. She didn't want to sleep. She wanted to lie awake with him like this all night. She wanted to talk to him about what they had just done - about what it meant for their relationship. She hoped he didn't think it was a mistake, but feared that he did. As her mind tried to keep track of all these thoughts, she felt fatigue set in. She struggled to keep her eyes open. From the rhythm of Harry's breathing, he too was close to sleep. She smiled and after nuzzling even closer to him, allowed slumber to claim her.
( ( ( ( ( ( (
Harry lay awake early the next morning, thinking about the events of the previous night. He still couldn't believe he and Hermione had made love. It was such a foreign thought, yet it felt so right. It meant that she cared for him, in ways that he had only hoped. In Harry's mind, it had brought them closer together on so many levels. He kissed the top of her head as she slept, completely content to stay like this for the rest of his life.
Suddenly, Hermione jerked awake as they both heard voices.
"So Seamus, you've not seen Harry since when?" Harry heard Ron ask.
"Last night, at dinner. You were still with him and Hermione when I left with Dean. Are you sure he didn't come to bed last night? Maybe he came in, and left early this morning without waking you?"
Ron paused. "I guess. Maybe. It's weird though..."
"Why don't you go up and ask Hermione?" Seamus offered. "Maybe she knows?"
Harry and Hermione looked at each other, fear stamped on both their faces as they waited for Ron's answer.
"Nah. She'll be down to breakfast soon. And maybe Harry is already down there. Besides, I want to tell you what happened with Pavarti last night...."
Their voices faded away and Harry heard the entrance door shut. They had left without noticing their two friends behind the couch.
Harry exhaled, and looked down at Hermione, still naked in his arms. "That was close!"
She nodded, looking scared. "Yeah, we'd better get dressed before anyone else comes down."
They stood up and Harry immediately felt cold without Hermione's radiating warmth all over his body. He noticed that she also shivered a little, and smiled to himself.
They dressed quickly. There was an awkward pause, as they looked at each other, uncertain as to how to proceed.
Hermione began. "We'd better go to breakfast." She looked into his eyes. "Can we talk afterwards? Up in my room?"
Harry stumbled out the words. "Yeah, that'd be great."
"Okay, good. Do you think we should go down separately? I mean, I don't think we should go in together."
"Yeah, you're probably right."
"I'll go first okay?"
Harry nodded, as did Hermione. She started to walk towards the door. Harry ran forward, grabbed her by the shoulders, turned her around, and kissed her passionately. It was a long kiss, and in the midst of it, Harry realised that he would never love anyone as much as he loved Hermione. He smiled a little against her mouth and pulled back.
"I really needed to do that," he told her.
She had a dazed look on her face as she walked backwards towards the door.
"I, uh, yeah, erm, I'll see you down there."
And with that she stumbled out of the door.
( ( ( ( ( ( (
Hermione steadied herself against the wall as she left the common room. That kiss had sent electric shocks all over her body with its sheer passion. She still couldn't believe what had happened. One minute they were both feeling very awkward in each other's presence, the next, they were making love. It seemed like some bizarre movie plot. Things like this just never happened to Hermione Granger. She was just a normal witch after all.
She started to walk down the hallway, to the stairs that led down to the Great Hall, all the while thinking of Harry; of what they'd done together and of how much she longed to do it again. Of the talk they would soon have and what it was going to mean for their relationship. She wondered if Harry knew that her heart was in his hands. With just a word, he could either send it soaring in the heavens, or crush it irrevocably.
"Hi Hermione! How's it going?" Ron asked even more cheerfully than he usually would.
Hermione eyed him suspiciously, wondering whether Ron and Seamus had seen her and Harry on the floor together after all. "Good thanks, and you?"
"Never better," he grinned, before his face turned serious for a moment. "You haven't seen Harry, have you?"
Hermione felt herself blushing, and hoped that neither Ron or Seamus would notice. "Uh, yeah, I saw him on my way down. He said he was on his way..."
"Speak of the devil," Seamus interrupted, looking towards the door.
In walked Harry. He smiled when he saw them at their table, and blushed just a little when he looked at Hermione.
"Hi guys, how's everything?"
"Where were you last night?" Ron asked inquisitively.
With furrowed brows, Harry answered. "What do you mean? I was in bed, sleeping."
"But you weren't there when I fell asleep, and I didn't hear you come in. I didn't hear you leave this morning for that matter either."
"I came in late last night. You were sound asleep so I tried to be as quiet as possible. And I woke up early this morning to go for a run."
"You don't look sweaty?" Ron questioned.
"I had a shower you twat! Is this what having a mother would've been like?" Harry laughed, whilst looking slightly wistful at the same time.
At this Ron broke down, and smiled an embarrassed grin. "Okay, okay. Sorry for the third degree." He paused. "Well, is one of you gonna ask me what happened with Pavarti or not?"
Seamus stood. "As enthralling as this story is Ron, I just heard it less than five minutes ago. I'm off. See you in Potions."
"Bye Seamus," they all echoed.
Harry and Hermione turned their attention back to Ron.
"Okay," Hermione smiled. "What happened with Pavarti?"
Ron grinned. "Well," he began. "You know how she seemed really angry with me last night, right? I thought I was in for it, not that I had any idea of what I'd done mind you. Anyway, she told me that Lavender told her that I'd told everyone, how much I like her." He stopped. "You confused or something?"
Harry and Hermione had been smiling and sharing amused glances. They now looked at Ron and grinned. "A little", they replied in unison.
Ron scowled. "Anyway, she asked why I'd been telling everyone how much I liked her. So I thought she hated me and was embarrassed to have even been mentioned in the same breath as me. But, this is the good part, she said she was mad that I'd never told her, and that I'd never asked her out. I sorta stared at her in shock. Then she said that cos I was being such a baby about it, she'd have to ask me out herself," he grinned. "We're going to Hogsmeade together this afternoon. How good is that? Huh?"
They both laughed. "That's great Ron," Harry said. "At least now you'll stop annoying everyone with your constant 'Does she like me?' routine." He smiled at the embarrassed Ron. "Seriously though, I'm really happy for you."
"Me too," Hermione added.
Ro grinned again, even wider than before. He looked towards the door. "There she is! I'll see you guys later."
Hermione looked from her plate, up to Harry, and saw that he was doing the same thing. They both smiled shyly.
"Do you wanna go and talk upstairs?" Hermione asked.
"Let's go."
( ( ( ( ( ( (
Harry had just followed Hermione into her single bedroom and locked the door, when he found that he couldn't control himself anymore. He put his hands to her face and kissed her, surprising her so that she couldn't keep her balance, and they both fell onto the bed, he on top of her.
They laughed against each other's mouths as they continued kissing. Hermione pulled Harry's shirt over his head in one quick, fluid movement, and ran her fingers over his chest, causing shivers to run up and down his spine. She had just stared to undo his pants, when he suddenly sat up, surprising himself as much as her.
"I'm sorry Hermione," he said as he saw the hurt and confusion in her eyes. "I want this just as much as you do, probably more in fact. I just think that maybe we should talk first," he looked her in the eye. "So that no one gets hurt."
Hermione sat up, nodding, as Harry pulled his shirt back over his head. "You're right. How should we do this? Should we each just say how we're feeling about," she paused. "Well, everything?"
"Yeah," Harry saw that Hermione looked a little worried. "Do you want me to go first?"
She relaxed just a little. "Okay."
"Right," Harry breathed in deeply as he stood up. "Here I go," he smiled.
"Last night was the most amazing night of my life. I've never felt anything like it before. I know it was your first time, and I think you know it was mine too. I'm so glad that you were my first, and I yours. It was so special, so beautiful. And the thing is, Hermione, that I love you," Hermione gasped, and Harry too felt surprised. "I've been so afraid to tell you, but I can't believe how easy that was to say. The funny thing is, it's been so easy to fall in love with you, so natural, so right, that I hadn't even noticed it had happened. Everything that makes you my best friend Hermione, has also made me love you like I've never loved anyone before, or ever will again," Harry smiled dreamily. "Plus the fact that..." he trailed off.
"What Harry?"
He ran his thumb over her cheek. "Well, that you're so beautiful. I've never seen anyone as beautiful as you."
Harry smiled at the look on Hermione's face - betraying a magical cocktail of shyness and embarrassment, as well as what looked to be positive ecstasy!"
"Oh Harry!" she said as she rushed at him and kissed him all over. "I love you! I'm in love with you too! That's why I was pulling away from you. I was so terrified of what I was feeling, and of what it meant for us, that I tried to push you away so I wouldn't have to deal with it. But last night, oh, I just couldn't leave you alone. And it felt so right. I felt complete for the first time in my life. I've realised that I've loved since the beginning, since we first met, isn't that ridiculous? I've loved you since I was eleven and I didn't even know it. You're the most important person in my life Harry. I love you so much."
This time it was Harry's turn to look like a child whose Christmases had all come at once. He threw himself on top of her and they again landed, laughing, on the bed.
Their faces serious all of a sudden, they looked at each other, as Harry began to unbutton Hermione's blouse.
( ( ( ( ( ( (
Hermione smiled against Harry's head as he sensually ran his tongue over her breasts. She had a feeling that, due to their mutual declarations of love, this time would not be as desperate as the previous night, but rather much slower and more sensuous.
She felt his tongue make a trail from her breasts to her stomach, as he kissed her all over. Hermione, moaning, felt as if she may soon explode, so she pushed Harry off her and onto his back, determined to give him a taste of his own medicine.
She ran her tongue all over his body and smiled when she heard him groan with pleasure. When he was ready, Harry pushed Hermione onto her back and entered her cautiously. She smiled up at him.
"It doesn't hurt anymore."
He returned her smile and began to move slowly but rhythmically within her. All the while, their lips hardly ever parted.
Hermione felt as if she were flying. She had already become addicted to making love to him after only their first time, but now she felt this on a completely different level.
The nagging fear and confusion that had been present in the back of her mind last night had entirely disappeared. She still couldn't believe that he loved her! Feeling him inside of her really did make her feel complete, that in Harry she had found a part of herself she didn't know was missing. She wondered briefly if other people felt this way, or if it was just unique to them.
As they both came simultaneously, Hermione was aware of a feeling of peace and contentedness wash over her. She looked up at Harry who was smiling down at her, and knew, without having to ask him, that he felt the same. She brushed his fringe aside and kissed his lightning-bolt shaped scar. He kissed her fingertips and rolled onto his side, taking Hermione with him. She lay there, facing him, and for the longest time they simply looked into each other's eyes and smiled, as Hermione ran her fingers up and down the side of Harry's cheek.
"I love you," Hermione whispered to him.
"I want to marry you," Harry replied, making Hermione gasp, as her smile vanished from her face.
"What?" she breathed.
Harry looked at her with his smile still very much present. "I said that I want to marry you." He adjusted himself so that he was leaning his head on his elbow. "Will you?" he finished.
Hermione sat up and leaned against the bed head, pulling the blankets with her to cover herself up. She was so shocked at this question, and in some ways found it quite ridiculous. Yet, another very large part of her was incredibly excited by this prospect. To avoid making sense of her own feelings and thoughts, she decided she'd firstly try to make sense of his.
"Harry, do you even realise what you're saying? Firstly, don't you think it's a little too fast? I mean, we only just became aware of our feelings for one another, and only divulged them to each other about forty minutes ago! Then there's the age factor. I just turned seventeen two weeks ago! We've still got a year left of school. I know my parents will chuck a wobbly..." she looked at him.
Hermione wasn't sure whether it should relax, or completely unnerve her that he still remained so calm. "Are you going to say something?"
Now Harry too sat up, and ran his fingers down the side of her cheek, the touch causing goosebumps to appear all over her body. His green eyes sparkled with emotion.
"Hermione, as usual, everything you say is exactly right and makes perfect sense," She snorted her embarrassment at this statement. He continued. "And perhaps, for those reasons, what I'm suggesting is utterly immature and absurd. But you left out one crucial factor - we're in love. Obviously I can only speak for myself, but I didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as I love you. And the scary thing is, that from the moment I woke up to my feelings for you, not a second has gone by when I haven't loved you more than I did the previous second."
Hermione spoke softly, her eyes overbright. "I feel the same Harry."
"Well good," he smiled. "See? So what's the problem? I mean, I said that the points you made were all more than valid, and I meant it. I'm not suggesting that we get married tomorrow. I'm not asking you to set a date and start choosing dresses and bridesmaids and a band, or anything like that. I'm not even suggesting that we need tell anyone just yet. I'm asking because I love you, and I want to be around you everyday, and wake up next to you, and look at you and think, 'I'm going to marry that girl'. I'm asking you because I'm never going to love anyone else, and I want you to know it. I want you to look at me and think 'That handsome young fellow is going to be my husband'," Hermione laughed, but Harry's face remained serious. "Now that we both realise what's in our hearts, I want us to know it, with such clarity that we could never doubt it. It's like a promise of our love that we can take with us everywhere we go. Do you know what I mean?"
Hermione nodded, tears now steadily falling from her eyes. Harry kissed them away.
"Yes, Harry. Yes. You've always been my life, and now I can finally admit and understand what that means. I want to be with you forever. I want to marry you."
"Really?" Harry asked precariously. "Do you mean it?"
Hermione nodded, and Harry breathed a deep sigh of relief and kissed her. Hermione started laughing amidst her tears as she thought of all that had happened in just over a day. Just yesterday morning, she had been so unhappy because she thought he could never love her. Now they were going to get married! It still seemed like a dream to her as she lay back in the bed. Harry snuggled in close to her. She kissed the top of his head and smiled.
( ( ( ( ( ( (
Harry was so deliriously happy he could barely keep himself from smiling, even in Snape's Potions class. He also couldn't keep his eyes off Hermione, who likewise kept looking at him, as they shared knowing glances. At one point, when Snape's back was turned, Harry's heart very nearly jumped out of his chest when Hermione mouthed to him three very simple, yet beautiful words - 'I love you'.
Harry had to control the impulse to yell out in delight! He managed to do so, but still couldn't hide his ever-widening smile. Suddenly he felt Ron nudge his arm. Harry turned to him and was met with a questioning stare. Ron then eyed the desk, discreetly asking Harry to do the same. He did, and saw a message in Ron's notebook.
"Why are you smiling like a bloody twat?!" it read. "Have you forgotten whose class we're in?! Snape'll kill you if he sees you looking like that! He'll think you're up to something."
Harry looked up at Ron, his smile now gone. He hadn't even thought of how his relationship with Hermione would effect Ron. Truth be told, Ron hadn't entered his mind for quite some time, and Harry felt a tinge of guilt because of it. Harry shook his head, trying to convey to Ron that it was nothing, and they'd talk later.
But now Harry was getting worried. It wasn't nothing, and as well as he knew Ron, he had no idea how he might react to this sudden revelation. Harry looked up at Hermione and saw that she realised something was wrong. He could read her facial expressions so well, that he could almost hear her talking to him. She asked what was wrong. Harry glanced quickly at Ron, and then back to her. He could see that Hermione understood as she breathed in deeply and looked at him, her eyes narrowed in worry. He smiled to her in an effort to reassure her. She nodded and smiled back.
Harry briefly thought how extraordinary this mental telepathy that he shared with Hermione was. He smiled to himself at how much closer they had become to one another, before noting that Ron was still fixing him with a questioning stare. He was relieved when the bell rang to announce the end of their two-hour Potions class, and the beginning of their free period. But Ron didn't waste any time.
"Harry, what's up with you? Last night you're quiet and depressed. You come to bed late, you get up early. And now you're smiling like a bloody mental patient! And in Snape's class for Pete's sake! I've never even seen you smile when he's anywhere near any of us, yet you wouldn't stop smiling throughout the entire two hours! You're lucky he didn't use that as an excuse to give you detention and take off house points! So what's going on?"
Ron's expression told Harry that he expected an answer and would be very offended and angry if he didn't get one. Harry glanced at Hermione who was packing her books as if she were stuck in slow motion. She was paying all of her attention to Harry and Ron and what they were saying to each other. He widened his eyes in a plea for her assistance, and she immediately walked over to them.
"Hi guys!" she said brightly.
"Hermione," Ron snapped. "We're having a discussion here, do you think you could keep you nose out of it for once?"
"Hey!" Harry yelled furiously. He could see the hurt in Hermione's eyes, and knew that raw fire must have been present in his own. "Ron what's wrong with you? You've got no right to snap at her."
Ron looked guilty, yet taken aback at Harry's anger. "The question is Harry, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with both of you?" he said looking at Hermione. "You've both been acting crazy lately," he turned his focus back to Harry. "And now you're yelling at me on her behalf? She's a bloody know-it-all who needs to be in control of everything. She doesn't know when she's not wanted," he added scathingly.
Harry was so furious now that he seemed to have gone full circle, so that he appeared to be icy calm. With his jaw set, and teeth clenched, he began.
"Ron, unless you want to get your face punched in, you'd better stop speaking about her like that. She's your best friend for Christ sake and you're treating her like a piece of crap!"
"Wrong!" Ron yelled. "She's your best friend! I've only put up with her for the last six years cos for some reason only God knows, you like her! I can't stand her! But you're my best friend Harry, and if you wanted her around I wasn't gonna stop you. But here she is, doing the very thing I hate most about her, butting in where she's not wanted, and you're defending her! God! It's like you're in love with her or something!"
Harry and Hermione, who had both been reddening with a mixture of anger and pain, both quickly paled and glanced at each other. Ron noticed.
He looked from one to the other. "You've got to be kidding?!" Harry and Hermione looked from each other, to Ron, to the floor, both feeling absurdly like they'd been called into McGonagall's office for a stern lecture.
"How long's this been going on for, huh?" Ron continued. "How long have you been lying to your supposed best friend?"
Harry tried to mend the situation. "Ron, calm down. It just started yesterday. That's what I was going to tell you before you started ranting and raving like a lunatic. We weren't trying to hide anything from you, honestly."
"Oh really? Let's see about that. You didn't come to bed last night, did you Harry? You lied to me. You both did. You were together, weren't you?"
"Ron please..."
"Shut up Hermione! Answer me Harry!"
Harry stared at Ron. "Yes. I lied. I was with Hermione. But you don't understand. I only lied because Hermione and I hadn't had a chance to talk about everything. We didn't even know what was going on."
"Yeah well, it's obvious why you didn't do any talking last night, isn't it? This is unbelievable. I'm outta here. Some best friend you are Harry."
"Ron..." Hermione began as the classroom door slammed.
Harry looked at her. "That went well."
( ( ( ( ( ( (
Hermione lay on her bed next to Harry, who had technically, but by no means officially, moved into her room. She turned on her side to look at Harry as he slept. She marvelled at how beautiful he was, and at how lucky she was that they had found each other, first as friends and now as lovers and soul mates. However she couldn't help feeling a little resentful of the situation Ron had put them in, and this resent made her feel guilty for having such thoughts. She was supposed to be happy, and in a lot of ways she was. But Ron's anger with the two of them was distracting them both. A week after their big argument, he still wouldn't even look at either of them. She didn't understand why he had reacted the way he did, and his cruel words to her still hurt. Yet she knew that as much as she was hurting, Harry was hurting more.
He had been deeply shocked, confused, wounded and angered by Ron's words to Hermione, even more so than she was. Harry had told her that he couldn't understand why Ron had said such things, as he was sure that he didn't really mean them. And it hurt him that Ron refused to try and repair their friendship. And, mirroring Hermione's own feelings, Harry felt guilty for the happiness that he felt, and wanted to feel, with Hermione. So much so that he had actually suggested to Hermione that if they cooled things off of for a while, Ron may be easier to talk to.
Hermione had been scared and distressed by this idea, which she made very clear to him. She also told him that in her honest opinion, it would do no good. Besides, Ron had to get used to the fact that the two of them were together. The friendship the three of them shared could only heal if Ron dealt with this. Harry had agreed with her and apologised profusely, making sure that she knew that it had nothing whatsoever to do with his feelings for her. And so, since then, Harry and Hermione had gone on with their lives, waiting for some sign that Ron was ready to talk.
"Mmmm, Hermione?" Harry said sleepily as his eyelids began to flutter.
"Yes love, I'm here," she answered tenderly.
He opened his eyes fully and smiled. "Why aren't you sleeping?" he said as he kissed her.
"I'm just thinking," she smiled "about how much falling in love with you has ruined everything."
He laughed. "You're absolutely right. What say we forget about this whole love thing completely? But can we still have casual sex every night? I think I'd suffer from terrible withdrawal symptoms if we couldn't."
She also laughed and kissed his forehead. "I do love you, you know."
"I'm glad, or else I might've had to return this." He rolled over and put on his glasses, and at the same time taking something out of his pants pocket, which lay discarded by the bed.
Hermione wondered what he was up to, but then he turned back to her and held out a small box.
Hermione's eyes widened. "Harry..."
"Shh, just open it."
They both sat up as she touched the box delicately, feeling excited and nervous all at once. She opened it up and gasped. Inside lay the most beautiful diamond ring she had ever seen.
"What? Harry, what is this?"
"Well, it's my understanding that in some cultures, when a man asks the woman he's head over heels in love with to marry him, he usually buys her an outrageously beautiful, not to mention expensive, diamond ring." He ended hopefully. "Do you like it?"
"Are you kidding? I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life! Well, except for you, of course. Harry this must have cost a fortune?" she exclaimed.
"Thankfully, money's not really a problem," he grinned mischievously. "You think I'm beautiful?"
Hermione giggled. "Of course. You're an Adonis!"
His eyes widened in mock shock. "Really? Wow! If I'm that hot, what am I doing with a mere Goddess such as yourself?"
She pushed him playfully on his chest, as he moved forward and kissed her passionately.
"I just wanted to make it official," he said quietly. "I don't expect you to wear it yet, obviously, while we're still in school and all. That's why I also got you this." He pulled a simple silver chain from inside the box. "I thought maybe you could wear it around your neck, just until I can do the whole 'on bended knee' thing and put it on your finger properly."
"And then I'll never take it off again. Oh Harry thank you so much. It's at times like this when my heart takes over from my head, and I want to marry you on the spot!"
He smiled, and ran his fingers through her hair. "I'll marry you as soon as I can, whenever you want me to. Just give me some warning though. I don't know what people would think if we got married naked!"
Hermione giggled again and hugged him tightly.
"Hermione? Harry? Are you awake? Can I talk to you?"
Hermione jumped as they both gasped. "Ron? Is that you?"
"Yeah, can I come in?"
"Just a minute!" Hermione cried as both she and Harry clamoured to get their clothes on. A minute later she glanced at Harry, who nodded, before she put her ring in her drawer and opened the door.
Ron stood there in his pyjamas, not quite looking at either of them. "I'd hoped you'd be up. I couldn't sleep. Haven't properly for the last week if I'm honest. Anyway, I thought it was time that I came to talk to you."
"Sure, have a seat," Hermione said as she pointed to the chair at her desk.
Harry hadn't said anything yet, but continued looking warily at Ron as if he expected another tirade like the one he and Hermione had received the week before.
Ron sat on the chair, as Hermione sat herself down on the edge of her bed, patting the space next to her for Harry. He quickly shook his head and continued to stare at Ron as he stood protectively at Hermione's side.
Ron cleared his throat. "Okay, if you can just let me talk, that would probably be easiest. Here goes. Firstly, Hermione, I'm so sorry. I hope you know that I didn't mean anything I said to you. I was just worried about Harry, and when you came over, I just snapped. The immature eleven year-old you knew before we all became friends reared his ugly head, and I'm truly so sorry. You are just as important to me as Harry, my parents, my brothers and Ginny. You're my best friend," he finished quietly.
Hermione nodded to him to convey that she had forgiven him. Harry continued to stand next to her, silent, staring at Ron. He, apparently, would not forgive Ron's cruelty to Hermione as easily as she could herself.
"In this past week, I've been trying to figure out exactly why I snapped," Ron continued. "And what I've realised is that, well, I was jealous."
Hermione looked up at Harry whose eyes narrowed slightly.
Ron seemed to notice too because he quickly continued. "No, not like that." He looked at Hermione. "I'm not attracted to you. I don't like you in that way, that's not what I meant." His gaze shifted between the two of them.
"What I meant was that I was jealous of the fact that you two are closer to each other than you could ever be to me. See, I always thought our friendship was really equal, you know?"
Hermione shifted uncomfortably, nodding, as she remembered that she'd had these exact same thoughts when she was grappling with her feelings for Harry.
Ron continued. "So I guess when I snapped at Hermione and you defended her so completely, I just felt our friendship was off balance. I think on a certain level I've known you guys had feelings for each other since the beginning, probably longer than you've known yourselves, right? But I pretended I didn't see it. Part of me even hoped that neither of you would see it, which is pretty horrible, huh? I pretended everything was normal, that we were all best friends. Harry, when I saw the raw fury in your eyes after I said those horrible things to Hermione, I could no longer deny that you both care about each other a helluva lot more than you care about me."
Hermione felt so sad and guilty at these words that she tried to console him.
"No," he stopped her. "Let me finish. I admit; finally accepting this really hurt. You two are my only real friends, and I feel like you're both part of my family. And that was really important to me. I know my parents don't really favour Percy or Charlie, or anyone, but sometimes it feels like they do. All my brothers are special in some way, and Ginny's their only daughter," he lowered his eyes. "But there's nothing special about me. I'm just ordinary," he looked back up at them. "That's why our friendship was so important to me. I thought that none of us was more special than the other, and when I realised this wasn't true, I just couldn't deal with it. Not to mention the fact that it hurt that neither of you could tell me something so important. But please believe me when I say to you both that I'm so sorry for the way that I've behaved."
Harry spoke for the first time. "Ron, firstly, you are special. You're special to Hermione and me and you're special to your parents too. You're the best guy I've ever known. And you know that your parents don't love any of your siblings more than they love you, right?"
Ron nodded, and quickly wiped away a tear. "Yeah. I know. It just feels like it sometimes."
Harry continued. "Secondly, I'm sorry we didn't tell you how we were both feeling. But I think I speak for Hermione too when I say that we were both so confused, and so scared by what we felt, that we denied it to ourselves, each other and everyone else for six years. It was too daunting to tell you something as huge as this, so soon after we'd realised, and before we knew how the other felt."
Ron nodded once more. "I know. I understand."
"Lastly, I'm sorry for the way this has made you feel. Yes, Hermione and I are in love. So, yes, I suppose that in some way our friendship is bound to change, and that perhaps we are closer to each other than we are to you. But that doesn't mean we don't love you. That doesn't mean that we're all not best friends, because we are. I hope you never doubt it again," Harry looked at the ground, almost shyly. "So d'you think we can hug or something?"
Ron and Harry both began to laugh as the two of them embraced. Hermione still sat on her bed with tears of joy streaming down her face. She was so happy that everything had been resolved.
Ron grinned and looked down at her. "Come here you."
Hermione jumped up and hugged the two boys. Ron backed away for a moment as Harry kissed Hermione's tears away and hugged her once more.
Ron smiled. "By the way, did I mention that I'm actually really happy for you two?"
They laughed. "Good," Harry began as he walked towards Hermione's drawer and took out the little box. "Cos we've got some more news."
( ( ( ( ( ( (
Three years later
( ( ( ( ( ( (
"Do you, Harry James Potter, take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?"
"I do."
"And do you, Hermione Ann Granger, take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?"
"I do."
"Do you have the rings?"
Harry glanced at Ron who was fumbling through his pocket. He grinned, and passed the two, simple gold-band rings to Harry.
Harry and Hermione had decided on an inscription together, which they had put on both bands. It said simply: "My love. My life. Forever."
Harry turned back to Hermione who stood smiling at him radiantly. He already thought she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, but he'd honestly never seen her look so exquisite in all her life. Her hair was folded into a French twist on top of her head, and she wore a simple, yet elegant, white gown.
He began his vows. "Hermione, I've loved you from the moment I met you, and now, nine years later, I stand here next to you, about to become your husband, more in love with you than ever. You are my lover, my confidante, my joy, my guide and my friend. I swear to be a good husband to you, and I swear to love you for all of this life and the next. All that I am is yours."
He placed a ring on her finger, and brushed away a tear from her eye.
She smiled. "Harry, I've dreamt of this day for a very long time. I've dreamt that I'd have the chance to be your wife, and it's finally happening. You are my best friend and the most important person to me in the world. I know that we will have a great life together because we are fortunate enough to have found what many only dream of. You are my life, my destiny, and my soul mate. I pledge my undying love to you here, now and always. All that I am is yours."
This time it was Hermione's turn to wipe a tear of Harry's away as she placed his ring on his finger.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife..."
With that, Harry immediately closed the gap between them and, with his hands on either side of her face, kissed her deeply.
"...You may kiss the bride," the reverend finished needlessly over the roar of cheers from the wedding guests.
Harry and Hermione looked at each other, smiling and said simultaneously, "I love you."
Ron then rushed up to the two of them and gave them both a big bear hug.
"I wonder what the future has in store for the three of us," he said to no one in particular.
Harry smiled, looking at his best friend and his wife. "Whatever it is, we'll get through it. Together."
The End