And a Bridge to Cross Over by augusam Rating: PG13 Ship: Draco & Ginny Canon: Books 1 - 5 Genre: Angst, Romance Status: Complete Length: 883 words in 1 chapter Published: 8 Apr 2004 Last updated: 8 Apr 2004 Song fic to Indigo Girls' Caramia. Ginny questions Draco about his loyalties. From the Unofficial Portkey Archive: https://portkey-archive.org/story/2031/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 1. Chapter 1 Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. They aren't mine, even though I love them! The song Caramia is owned by the Indigo Girls. Draco, Blank notebook and a back pocket fade You used to mock me Sometimes I would cry When I was home later Cause you hurt my feelings Why why why You said write it down in your notebook My wanna be Harriet the spy Were you with us or against us? Did I ever know? Did I even want to? You gave me what you wanted. You said, “Do with this what you will.” I knew enough not to trust you; I knew to keep my distance. Knowing and doing are two different things. And some say your genius Is in your madness Will you get better And then will you leave us? I knew not to expect promises of forever and love and babies and lifetimes. One thing can be said for you, you do not foster misinterpretations. Should I have told the Order the truth about us, the extent of the relationship? Maybe. I couldn't, though. It was mine. They would not have let it continue. Confidants and spies make strange bedfellows. How you mixed with the darkness At such a young age Until in your chemistry Science and violence Turned silence to rage Ah I know why you turned to me the first time. I was everything you had never known. I was happiness, light, forgiveness, acceptance. Perhaps this lured you into a false sense of security. Perhaps you decided long ago that your life would consist of playing both sides. Why are you dreaming this One shoe off And a bridge to cross over And where is your taxi fare Are you left by yourself Or left by your lover So it's your choice to make, as it always has been. I still know you cannot be trusted. I still know the power your father has over you. I think you can walk away. You say, “I made my choice by being born.” For three nights straight now I dream I kept both of my shoes But I've forgotten my lines And I've misplaced my cues And there's a sea full of faces And a show to go on But I'm struck mute at entrance With nothing to draw from How do I explain to the Order that you could be giving us false information? It has been essential to our past successes. How can I explain that I have seen the lie flicker in your eyes the past few times we met. How can I tell them I know, but only because you won't look me in the eye when we make love. There were the secrets The big bang and the bigger joke You seem to know all of them That's why injustice makes you red with choke You curse Harry. You curse the Order. You call them self- righteous and impossible and too strict with right and wrong. But you know that they have purpose that you never will. You never let yourself. You hate the world for the lot it has given you, yet you race along its path. Yeah but you love like you're desperate You don't know what love is And I thought if there was one thing I could give you One thing I could give you Well maybe it was this I was so naïve. I thought our love would change your world. I thought you would become a new man, the man you were meant to be. The head on the bed board The anguished repeat The sweat of our sadness And the twist of the sheets Now we go through the motions. I still love you, but I know the choice you've made. You cry out my name, through the break of anguish. You think it's hopeless. Your life is not your own. I don't want what's best for you Where will I be when you've found it You know I pray a lot about these bad feelings inside I can't pray my way through or around it I don't care about your family. I don't care about the only life you've ever known. I only care about myself, and you, together. I think about joining you there. Hey Why are you dreaming this One shoe off And a bridge to cross over And where is your taxi fare Are you left by yourself Or left by your lover It is the choice you have made. You have left us. I am dying inside. The urge to follow you is overwhelming. I have made my choice; I am coming with you. For three nights straight now (left by your lover) You know I keep both of my shoes (I've got bad feelings inside) But I've forgotten my lines (I can't pray through) I've misplaced my cues (I can't pray my way around it) And there's a sea full of faces And a show to go on I'm struck mute at entrance With nothing to draw from Nothing to draw from The only excuse I have is you. -Ginny Song lyrics- Caramia by Indigo Girls