Misconceptions

Misconceptions

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Summary: Even super-heroes are not safe from the horror’s of puberty, as Harry must discover. Indecision, break-ups and make-ups, strange trains of thought, and rather delicate problems, all seen through the perspective of Harry’s diary.

Author’s Notes: This is a silly little plot bunny that hit me over the head today, when I was innocently eating breakfast. It’s set in Harry’s 6^th year. Funny lil fact: it seems like MS word doesn’t know the word ‘snog’.

Chapter 1/4: Back to school

September 1st, somewhere around 11 o’clock in the morning

Ah, finally back to the world of magic! Survived another horrible summer with the Dursleys. Don’t know when I got the idea of writing a diary, but I know why: I need something to help me get nice memories while being locked away in the hellhole all summer. Why didn’t Dumbledore let me go to Grimmauld place this summer?

Wow. My writing looks even more like hieroglyphs with the train bumping all the time. Wonder if Hermione would scold me for it if she saw it. “Teachers need to be able to read what you’re writing, you know Harry. You need to practice some more!” The nerve! She never comments on Ron's writing, which is ten times worse than mine!

As might have been obvious, I’m on the Hogwarts Express at the moment, and I’m bored out of my wits. Hermione apparently didn’t get to finish reading all of the new books we need to read this year – said something about Bulgaria. Wonder if she ran into Krum? Nah, doubt it. Looked Bulgaria up the other day, and it’s quite the big country. The chance to run into somebody you know is quite slim there. Anyway, she’s reading the History of Magic textbook at the moment. Naturally I haven’t even bothered to take a look at that one.

Ron and Ginny are playing chess in the corner, arguing about her relationship with Dean – as always. Don’t know why Ron has a problem with it, as Dean is really nice. Nicer than Michael Corner anyway. Ron seems to be winning.

Still September 1^st, 11:15

Luna Lovegood just paid us – or better, Ginny – a visit. She kept giving Ron these really strange looks. Wonder if anything’s in the bush there. Ron looked thoroughly creeped out though. After Luna left, his chess skills seemed to deteriorate quickly. Funny thing. I think Ginny just checkmated him.

Wha----

11:17

Er, sorry. Ron just threw the diary to the floor. He seemed to be in a rush to go to the bathroom. Talk about somebody not being able to lose. Expect more later.

16:00. I think, at least.

I just had an experience that seemed to be otherworldly. Hermione put her book away for – I know, that’ strange too, but that’s not it – to play a game of chess with Ginny. Hermione playing chess is not the strange thing either, by the way. But it was kind of hot in here, after Neville, Seamus and Dean decided to join us. You know, too many people cramped in too little space. Anyway, Ginny stripped out of her cardigan, and was sitting there wearing just a rather tight top, and then Hermione did the same thing, and suddenly I found myself confronted with two chests that seemed to have filled out over the summer. Well, er, at least, I think they must have. I don’t think I ever paid much attention to them.

The mean thing was, I didn’t even get a nice view, because they were both kind of slumped over that darn chess set. Although Ginny yawned and stretched her arms at one point – Dean is so lucky to have a girlfriend like her. He must have thought the same thing, because I noticed that he looked like he was about to drool.

16:15

He just drooled. On my diary. That’s really, really ewwww.

20:00

Is it weird that I’m already in bed? Well, it has been a rather tiring day. And the sorting ceremony… just don’t mention food.

Enemy check: Sadly, Malfoy has not been swallowed by a giant monster over the summer. A pity. Saw him and his stupid goons at the feast, looking as stupid as ever. Malfoy got a new hairstyle though: no hair gel for him, anymore. Well, either that or somebody poured a bucket of water over his head. I just hope it was ice water.

Another frightening fact is, that my scar hasn’t hurt for ages now. Is Voldemort up to something new? Of course he is! What is it?

Wait! I hear a creaking sound! Have to check where it came from! Might be Voldemort.

20:05

Was just Neville going to the bathroom. I think my stuffed stomach is playing tricks on me. I should get some sleep. Good night. I did not just say good night to a piece of paper, did I?

September 2^nd, 8:45

Just a quick note: we just got our timetables. Why do we always have to have Potions and Care of Magical Creatures with the Slytherins? Is this some kind of training from Dumbledore? What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger-crap? In that case, I want to stay a ninny. Off to classes. History of Magic. I’ll write more after class.

9:10

Okay, this is not exactly after class, but I don’t think there’s another way to keep me awake at the moment. I can only take so much talk about Goblin Rebellions. Ron is dozing away beside me. I wonder if he’s gonna wake up screaming because of Hermione’s murderous looks anytime soon.

Hey, what’s this? Hermione’s blouse seems to have the top button open! She never leaves that button open! This calls for closer inspection. Did she forget to button her blouse correctly? Hermione? I should talk to her sometime today. Something must be wrong with her. Perhaps she has problems with S.P.E.W.

Perhaps I shouldn’t tell her though. I can see some skin this way, since her tie seems to sit loosely too. This is scary.

It’s always interesting to watch a class in a boring lesson. Neville seems to be really tired today. He almost fell asleep in his porridge this morning! And it was even porridge with bits of apple strewn in, the best way to eat porridge! Now that I think about it, he spent quite some time in the bathroom yesterday. I don’t even remember him coming back.

Dean seems to be writing a letter. I bet he’s doodling hearts all over it, and it’s addressed to Seamus. Stop. This was actually not funny. The human mind works in strange ways when it’s bored.

12:34

I guess people should give Ron an award. I guess he’s the first person ever to get detention from Binns. Would you believe it? He woke up screaming in History of Magic! The strange thing is, he screamed something that sounded like “aaaaaargh brbl glbs loooooony!” Is Voldemort trying to access Ron’s dreams now?

Somewhere between 21:00 and 22:00

Neville must have some bladder weakness. He went to the bathroom again, and hasn’t returned yet. That was an hour ago! Maybe I should talk to him, and tell him that he ought to pay Madam Pomfrey a visit. But I have to be subtle about it. Perhaps I could pretend to have some kind of problem too. I should perhaps go to the bathroom too, to make it look realistic.

22:03

Just returned from the bathroom, but all the stalls were empty. Hm. Perhaps he went to another bathroom, so nobody would find out.

On to today’s events: Dean’s letter was not addressed to Seamus, but to Ginny. No surprise there. Dean sneaked out half an hour ago, mumbling something about the astronomy tower. Somehow I envy him a little. - he gets to snog one of the prettiest girls at Hogwarts. Yes, Ginny is pretty. Well, not really pretty, but attractive, kind of. Does that make sense? She looks a lot like Ron, which would be kind of a turn-off, but then again, but she has something that Ron hasn’t, which is a turn-on. And she looks a lot softer than Ron, who is all angles. I wonder if I fancy her a little? Nah, don’t think so. I’m simply assessing her assessments. Ron would kill me. Or kiss me – he’s not happy with her dating Dean, for some reason. Now that’s a gross thought. I’d rather have him kill me, I think.

Speaking of Ron, I think he’s losing it now. I was sitting in the common room talking to Hermione – the button was still undone, by the way – anyway, talking to Hermione about S.P.E.W – everything seems to be fine with it, and surprisingly, she didn’t really want to talk about it, because she was trying to write a letter to somebody. At first I thought it was to her parents, but then I remembered that she never writes on parchment when writing her parents. I wonder who it is for, then? Does Hermione have a boyfriend? Anyway, I was trying to talk about Ron. He jumped through the portrait hole as if the devil were chasing him, panting heavily, then closing it behind him, and leaning against it, saying something along the lines of “Oh ye gods!” He wouldn’t tell me what was wrong though. Am now convinced that Voldemort is trying to get to me via Ron. I need to talk to Snape.

I’m holding that mirror Sirius gave me, right now. But I won’t see anything except for myself. I’ve been doing this all summer now, and nothing ever happens. In times like these, when it’s dark, and nobody there to talk to, life looks so bleak. If we could have at least really buried him. But the coffin was empty. I sometimes get the strange urge to strangle Malfoy for it. His father was there when it happened, after all.

Which reminds me: enemy check: Malfoy’s still not sporting any hair gel. Weird. I bet he’s just doing it so he can survey what’s going on better. I swear that he’s spying for his father. But he choked on his porridge at breakfast. Serves him right.

23:45

Am going to kill Dean tomorrow. Must he make so much noise, just to rub in the fact that he probably just had a hot snogging session?

September 3^rd, 0:02

Okay, it’s ‘tomorrow’ now. How shall I do it?

8:15

Dean is still alive, as is Malfoy. Ginny was not at breakfast though. I guess she’s too tired because of yesterday night. Dean isn’t looking that well either. Somehow this infuriates me. Hermione is writing love letters, and Dean that perv is snogging Ginny – hey, where did that come from? I hope no-one ever finds this. This is serious blackmail material! Just imagine what Voldemort could do if he knew all this! He might try to blackmail me to switch sides! No, I must hide my diary better. Especially from Ron. He has taken to sneaking around the castle now, when he’s out of Gryffindor tower. Luna Lovegood just came up to me and asked where he was. According to Hermione, he’s taking his breakfast in the bathroom now. Just how gross can you get?

12:30

Survived morning classes! Whoo-hoo, I didn’t even get detention from Snape. He just took some points from Gryffindor for Neville walking in a rather dance-like fashion. I admit that it looked rather queer – literally. Speaking of Neville, I haven’t talked to him yet.

17:20

Ron’s still not walking with us in the hallways. He’s taking all his meals in the bathroom now. He told me that he needed to talk to me after classes, but at the moment, he’s still in hiding. The good thing about it is, that I can walk with Hermione alone now. Not that I have a problem with Ron, but I needed to talk to her about that boyfriend.

She didn’t want to talk about the mystery boy, though. She actually snapped at me, telling me it was none of my business. She apologized for it afterwards, but still won’t tell me. She said it had to do with ethics. Is she having a secret affair with Dean, or what?

18:30

Okay, I am in heaven. Ginny broke up with Dean yesterday! And was crying her heart out on my shoulder for almost an hour! Which means that I had an attractive girl pressed up to me, and I could feel her breasts on my chest. I didn’t tell her, though, because she broke up with Dean because he wanted to sleep with her yesterday, and she didn’t. According to her, he didn’t accept her ‘no’ at first. What a bastard! Neville, who heard Ginny telling me about it is apparently of the same opinion. He looked rather angry and actually stormed out of the common room. Poor Dean. It takes a lot to make Neville angry!

Speaking of Dean: I don’t think Hermione has a secret affair with him. She wouldn’t do that to Ginny. Those two are becoming a little closer this year, it seems. It’s nice to see Hermione to spend more time with a girl, I guess. Especially since I am sometimes involved in their conversation. Like that I can compare them. Whereas Ginny might be slightly prettier than Hermione, all of her buttons are done up. Hermione seems to have adopted a new look, it seems. Is it Seamus?

22:00

Ron finally talked to me. Turned out he’s not really crazy, just trying to avoid Luna Lovegood. She appears to have something like a crush on him, and won’t stop following him. Eating on the toilet still seems rather drastic to me, though. Ron was not happy when I told him that.

Neville sneaked away again, on another note. But today I caught him, and told him that I needed to go to the bathroom too, and that I would accompany him. Tried to start a conversation on how I was having problems too. He looked slightly panicked. We then spent half an hour standing in front of our respective toilets awkwardly, doing nothing. I told him that I couldn’t get anything out either, which made him squeak. We then agreed to go to Madam Pomfrey together tomorrow, although Neville looked rather green in the face. The poor boy. But I’m doing my best to make him feel better about the whole thing.

Enemy check: nothing going on in Slytherin. At least nothing I know of. Well, Malfoy set the date for Slytherin try-outs on the same day as I set Gryffindor, which annoys me to no end. Guess who had to re-schedule: yep, Gryffindor. I’m still not used to being Quidditch captain, I think. It almost makes up for not being made prefect. Almost.

TBC

Misconceptions (2/4)

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Summary: Even super-heroes are not safe from the horrors of puberty, as Harry must discover. Indecision, break-ups and make-ups, strange trains of thought, and rather delicate problems, all seen through the perspective of Harry’s diary.

Author’s Notes: Set in Harry’s 6^th year.

This story will end up H/Hr, just to clarify things! It is after all coded ORANGE. Ginny will get somebody else. I’m not gonna say who, but it should be obvious when reading my hints correctly : ) I am by gods not a H/G shipper, no sir. I’m just having fun with Harry’s hormones.

Chapter 2: Quidditch

September 4th, 8:15

Am sitting in the Hospital wing with Neville at the moment. We left after breakfast – would you believe that there were chopped bananas in my porridge today? Malfoy didn’t choke on it, though. What a pity. It was actually quite funny seeing it coming out of his nose in small bits.

Back to the Hospital Wing. Naturally, Madam Pomfrey couldn’t find anything that was wrong with me, but she didn’t find anything with Neville either. I guess it’s just psycho-somatic, because of Snape’s nasty comments. So now we’re sitting in these hospital beds, bored out of our wits. We’re excused from classes today, so the nurse could see whether the potion she gave us works. Neville still looks sulky about having to tell Madam Pomfrey about his little problem. I thought it was rather embarrassing too. But I did it for a friend, so I won’t complain. Gah, I hope she doesn’t tell anybody.

8:30

She didn’t tell anybody. Where should I know that Malfoy was in the Hospital wing at the same time? When I first saw him laughing like a maniac, I thought that this was the end of my reputation. But I have blackmail material: Malfoy has a spot! And on his nose, at that. I overheard him whining about it to Madam Pomfrey, until she let him stay too. I could swear that he just did it to be able to spy on me!

8:47

This is so boring. Malfoy is scribbling something on a piece of parchment.

9:02

Neville is sleeping. Still bored. Malfoy is still scribbling. Doesn’t look like homework, though.

9:26

Malfoy finished scribbling on his parchment. He’s looking too smug, in my opinion. I wonder what he wrote. Still bored.

I’ve been giving these last few days some thoughts. I wonder if I’m going to get any visits? I hope Hermione will take the time to pay me a visit. I need to know what our homework is after all!

9:34

Okay, so I really don’t care about the homework. No sense in lying to my own diary. I’m actually kind of curious as to whether the button is open today. I dreamed about that button tonight. It was really funny. In that dream, I was asleep, but suddenly woke up because a large guinea pig was chewing on my covers. It was quite dark actually, so I couldn’t see, but I just knew that the guinea pig was there. I could hear it munching. But suddenly, there was a soft glow, coming from my right. I turned to see what it was, and then saw that mother-of-pearl button hanging in the air, emitting a very comforting light. It then began to move away from me, and I followed it, while the guinea pig feasted on my bed. The light led me through corridors I had never seen in my life, and then came to a halt in front of a door at the end of a particularly long corridor. I opened the door, and took a peek into the room. It was full of muffins! I wanted to take one and eat it, but suddenly Malfoy of all people came my way, screaming like a banshee. Then I woke up. Weird, no?

Is Voldemort trying to access my dreams again? I hope not. But what if he were? What does he want me to do? Eat a bunch of muffins? I think not. Perhaps he’s trying to bribe me? But why would Malfoy want to keep me from doing so? Is he jealous that Voldemort wants to recruit me? I should perhaps tell him to leave me alone, since I have no intention of becoming a Death Eater.

9:41

Did it. Told him. Got a weird look. Apparently he hasn’t been informed of the whole Legilimency thing. He’s probably not far enough in the Death Eater ranks. I guess he’ll be spreading rumours of my increasing lunacy soon. I really should keep my hunches to myself, next time.

9:43

He wouldn’t have admitted it anyway!

10:04

Neville snores. Malfoy threw a pillow at him. Didn’t help. Now Malfoy has to sit on his bed without a pillow. Ha ha! The spot looks really ridiculous, by the way.

10:45

I wish I had brought that illustrated Chudley Cannons book. Their new seeker is rather hot.

11:04

Neville’s snoring is getting rather obnoxious. Malfoy still hasn’t bothered to get his pillow back.

11:56

Will this day ever end?

12:07

Neville just woke up! Yay, no snoring anymore. We’re playing silly games now. Mostly, we’re doing it to annoy Malfoy.

12:46

I spy is getting boring. Mostly, because we’re running out of things to describe now.

13:57

Yay! Guess what! Nev and I just had some visitors: Hermione and Ginny. Which means that we got tons of homework.

Hermione sure seems to be a bit distracted at the moment: the button is open again, and she doesn’t seem to notice that her skirt is getting a little short. She still looks the same size as ever, but I might be wrong there. Perhaps I grew too, and just didn’t notice.

I didn’t tell her about the skirt, though. I decided to enjoy the show as long as it lasts. The button is driving me crazy, though.

On to their visit: Hermione said she missed me! Isn’t that great? It’s mostly because Ron is still glued to the shadows and the bathroom, but I still think that’s a good sign. I don’t know where the sign is pointing, but I don’t think that matters at the moment. Hermione left rather early, because she still needed to do some homework. I wonder whether she noticed that I was staring at that button most of the time? I don’t think so.

The good thing about Hermione and the button leaving was that I had some time to talk to Ginny though. And what a conversation that was!

See, she did fairly good as a seeker last year, but since I’m on the team again, she can’t play seeker anymore. She told me that she’d like to be a chaser now, since we need new chasers now. Imagine – that body in Quidditch gear, regularly!

Anyway, she said she had her doubts about being good enough to make the position, and asked me whether I could practice with her a little, before try-outs. Private lessons, so to speak. And I didn’t even stutter when I told her that I’d love to! I might have blushed a little, but that was all!

Malfoy couldn’t resist saying something like “Ooooooh, Harry, can I ride your broom?” in a frighteningly female voice, making Neville fall from his bed in shock. Poor Neville.

We have our first training session tomorrow after class.

The only question that remains is: what’s going on with me? I really don’t know-

14:25

Sorry, Ron just paid me a short visit. He didn’t stay long, for he was still trying to escape Luna. I guess he stopped by to ask my how I was, but didn’t get as far as that, because Malfoy started singing another verse of Weasley is our King. I guess that’s what he was scribbling down so furiously earlier.

I wouldn’t have thought that Malfoy could stoop even lower than he already was, but after hearing that line about the toilet, I changed my mind.

17:something

I was finally released from the hospital wing! Nev seems to be better too. He went to the bathroom three minutes ago and is back already. I’m so glad that I could help him.

I just witnessed something rather disgusting, though: Dean and Ginny seem to have worked their problems out, since they’re together again, and had a steamy snogging session in the common room. Dean is such a show-off.

I just remembered that I didn’t get to finish something very important earlier:

So, what is going on with me? I am more than confused at the moment. I feel like I might have a little crush on Ginny, although I’d rather call it physical attraction. So far so good, but I have the sneaking suspicion that I have a teensy weensy crush on Hermione too. Which I find rather strange, because the former is almost a sister to me, and the latter is my best friend. But still I can’t deny the fact that they’re both causing strange reactions in me. All this stomach turning and stuff. And those buttons!

Hermione is writing another letter, and she still won’t tell me who it’s for. Perhaps she’s trying to start an international S.P.E.W. campaign?

Okay, I just asked her, and it’s not S.P.E.W. She actually smirked at me when answering. Hermione smirked. It looked quite sexy, actually, but weird. I think I’ll go and catch up on that homework now. I think I need Goblin Rebellions more than ever now.

21:30

Goblin Rebellions are a blessing. There’s nothing like boring yourself to death when confronted with those buttons. I shall never complain about History of Magic again!

I’m starting to worry about Neville. He sneaked away again tonight. I had thought that Madame Pomfrey’s potion had worked, but apparently that was not the case. Poor Nev.

Voldemort still hasn’t tried anything funny. At least nothing that I can prove. I might still talk to Snape about giving Ron Occlumency lessons. He is not his normal self at the moment. He lost to Ginny again, today, although it was because he was paying no attention whatsoever. Ginny actually got fed up with him and threw the chessboard away in a rage. She’s quite feisty, that one. Her cheeks get all red when she’s angry. I had to submit myself to another hour of Goblin Rebellions after witnessing that particular scene.

I have Sirius’ mirror lying next to the diary at the moment. I still can’t see anything besides myself in it, which annoys me to no end. Why did he give me this? The only good thing about it is that I just noticed that my cheekbones are getting more prominent, which looks kind of sexy.

September 5^th, the wee hours of the morning

I just had another ominous dream! It was about – damn, I forgot.

8:19

Hermione just told me something very interesting when we were walking down to the Great Hall: while she was doing her rounds last night she saw Neville and Cho walking towards the Astronomy Tower. Together! She told me that she would have interfered, but that Neville deserved to finally have someone who cares for him, so she didn’t.

I am such an idiot! I made a fool out of myself, and Neville because of nothing! I can’t believe it, I’m sooo thick.

But, Neville and Cho? I didn’t even know that she and Michael Corner weren’t an item anymore. Strange. And here I could have sworn that I saw them holding hands at breakfast.

9:25

I take anything I said about Goblin Rebellions and History of Magic back. I was not thinking straight when I wrote that. From now on, I will never say that Goblin Rebellions are good for something again. Never ever. They are hell. Whoever wrote all those books on them? I bet it was Voldemort!

13:39

Enemy check: Malfoy apparently got rid of his spot. Sometimes I feel like cursing magic. Still no hair gel. He’s up to something, I just know he is!

Ginny and Dean are still together. As are Cho and Michael. I don’t understand the world anymore.

How I wish for this afternoon to fly by – I can’t wait till I get to give Ginny a hand with Quidditch practice.

Until then, I have to survive Care of Magical Creatures.

16:34

I survived, for the button was open again. Speaking of the button: Hermione apparently got a reply to her letter today. I tried to see who it was from, but couldn’t make it out. But my attempt still paid off: while I was trying to look over her shoulder, I got a perfect view of Hermione’s neckline!

Geez, I’m gonna be late for the training session if I don’t go now!

21:42

Wow! So much to tell! I spent 3 hours practicing Quidditch with Ginny! I guess she needs the practice: she’s a good flier, but she needs to work on her catching. She constantly drops the Quaffle.

I had somehow hoped for her to show up in some really tight pants, and a shirt with a low neckline, but she didn’t. She was wearing one of Ron’s old Chudley Cannon sweaters, and a pair of baggy pants. I had somehow expected that session to be more exciting that it was, but what did I expect? She has a boyfriend at the moment, after all.

When we came back, we ran into Ron, or rather, he into us. I was about to tell him to slow down when he screamed ‘no time, later’ and ran away.

We passed Luna Lovegood a minute later, who was staring at a portrait, and appeared to be in deep thought.

Back in the common room, I found Hermione sitting in a chair by the fireplace, hunched over another letter.

I waited for her to finish it, while she didn’t seem to notice me. She sure knows how to stroke my ego.

Had a talk with her then. A serious one. That she could tell me if she had a problem. She just laughed and brushed it off. I like her laugh. It makes me get this tingly sensation in my stomach. We then spent some time talking about this and that, and I tried to make her laugh again.

Dean was not very pleased with the Quidditch session Ginny and I had. He threw a huge tantrum, and Ginny broke up with him again. Hogwarts is such a soap opera. Dean isn’t speaking to me now, and neither is Ginny, which I find rather unfair. I’ll just have to wait for them both to cool off, I guess. I bet they’ll be together again tomorrow anyway.

The mirror still isn’t showing me anything besides my cheekbones. I used to write Sirius when I was down. Who should I write to now? Who would listen to me? Hermione might. Although writing her would be silly. I might though. I think I’ll really do that. Write her a letter, I mean.

22:55

I really wrote that letter, and sent it off with Hedwig. If I could I’d tell her to bring it back now. I feel silly for doing this, but somehow it makes me feel a little better too. I just hope she’s not gonna laugh at me.

I wonder if I should stay up and confront Neville when he comes back. He sneaked away again. I think it’s not right for him to have something with a girl who has a boyfriend. But I’m too tired for that conversation right now. Perhaps tomorrow.

TBC

Please read the Author’s Notes at the beginning of this chapter! They clarify the H/G matter!

Many thanks to everybody who reviewed.