Getting Past the Pain

jltat

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 12/04/2004
Last Updated: 27/05/2004
Status: paused

Harry's last year at Hogwart's is supposed to be filled with joyous events. Instead, he finds only heartbreak and sorrow. How does Harry tell Hermione he's in love with her if she's with Ron? CHAPTER 6 IS AN IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE

Chapters

1. A Heart In Agony

2. Blissfully Unaware

3. Decisions Made

4. Author

5. Trouble In

6. A/N

1. A Heart In Agony

Title: Getting Past the Pain

Author: jltat

Disclaimer: This story if based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: So here’s the deal; today is the last day of spring break (yea I know, it sucks) so I decided to post a chapter before I get a shit load of homework and won’t have time to write. I’ve laid out a whole outline of how I want this story to go, and there will be 1 chapter posted per week, probably every Friday or Saturday… should be proud of me, I am so unorganized… and with that said, here’s the story hope you like it

Chapter 1: A Heart In Agony

I try to think about the last time, I had a good time

Everyone’s got somewhere to go

And they’re gonna leave me here on my own, so here it goes

- Simple Plan

It was the first week back to Hogwart’s for Harry who would complete his 7th and final year there. He was appointed quidditch captain for the Gryffindor House last year after Professor McGonagall lifted his life-long ban. Girls from all houses and years were interested in him. He was popular and respected throughout the school. Harry’s life should have been perfect, right? If only things were that easy.

During the middle of the summer, Harry and Hermione went to the Burrow to spend the rest of their vacation. It was then that Harry first began to see his feelings for his best friend Miss Granger. It was also then that Ron decided it was an ideal time to ask her out. Hermione accepted. Ron was delighted. Suffice to say, Harry was not.

However, he feigned happiness for the sake of his friends, who were convinced they had his blessing. They were happy, so he should be happy for them, Harry concluded. His heart was not as easy to convince; neither was Ginny. She saw right through his façade of cheerfulness and confronted him.

The new couple promised Harry that the trio would still be the same; the new relationship wouldn’t change anything. They were sorely mistaken. As the weeks passed, Hermione and Ron became more and more wrapped up in each other and Harry slipped further away from them. His relationship with Ginny, however, became closer. She was like the little sister he never had. Harry found himself confiding all his problems in Ginny, who, like a good sister, listened, gave advice, and was sympathetic. In turn, Harry was a lot more understanding towards Ginny.

So when she told her family that she was going out with Draco Malfoy, Harry was by far the most accepting. The fact that he was one of the few who knew Malfoy was a spy for the Light side helped too. Unluckily for Draco, the Weasley brothers were not as accepting. It became painfully obvious that they disapproved of a Malfoy dating their only sister. They finally became used to the Slytherin towards the end of the summer. Well, at least they could stay in the same room without knocking him unconscious. This was definitely an improvement.

Malfoy turned on the Dark side when he witnessed his father’s friends murder his mother. He still lived with Lucius, but no longer was a follower of Voldemort. Dumbledore, Snape, Harry, and a few trusted members of the Order were the only people that knew this piece of information.

When the start of the term came around, Hermione received an owl informing her she was Head Girl. Ron was happy for her and assumed he would be Head Boy. His letter never came. It seemed Dumbledore thought Draco Malfoy was a worthier candidate for the position.

Harry was sitting in the common room alone, no surprise there. He looked up and saw Ron and Hermione come in laughing at something. He felt a pang in his chest when he saw Hermione holding hands with Ron. The pang turned into a fist punching him in the gut when Ron kissed Hermione on the lips. Harry had to turn away. He was supposed to be happy for them. So why was it that the only thing he felt was pain when he saw the two together?

A/N: kinda boring huh? The chapter doesn’t have any dialogue or any real action, but I needed it to set up a background. Feel free to review and make suggestions, I can’t promise I’ll do what you say, but I’ll take it into consideration. So until next week.

2. Blissfully Unaware

Title: Getting Past the Pain
Author: jltat
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: hey, thanks for those who reviewed chapter 1, and i hope u like this chapter.

Chapter 2: Blissfully Unaware

Would you look at her, she looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
- Evan and Jaron

Harry was trying hard to ignore the stares that he was receiving from people. He was used to the staring, of course; it came with being famous. What was bothering him was the reason people were surveying him so closely. He saw it in their eyes, every single last one of them. Pity.

Everywhere he looked, it seemed, someone would be giving him a look of sympathy. For god sakes, some of the Slytherins showed signs of sorrow for Harry. He couldn’t take it. They didn’t understand; none of them did. He didn’t want their pity.

Harry stood up abruptly, threw his napkin down, and stormed out of the Great Hall. Hermione gave him a curious look, and under normal circumstances she would have followed him, but she remained seated next to Ron and did nothing but watch the doors of the Great Hall slam shut behind Harry.

He couldn’t take it anymore. Had the whole school gone insane? Harry found himself in an empty classroom, gazing out a window. He needed some time to think. Why was this bothering him so much? It was just a crush, he could get over it. Something like his feelings shouldn’t stand in the way of his friends’ happiness. He wasn’t in love with her, he couldn’t be. Wouldn’t be.

“... Harry?” Ginny whispered softly as she creaked open the door, walking in hesitantly. She came and stood beside him and was silent for a little bit before asking, “Harry, are you OK?”

Harry sighed loudly but his voice held no malice, “Yea, I guess... I’m tired of it though... just tired of everything. Sometimes, I think it would be easier to just get away from it all for a little while, you know?”

“Yea, I know, but you can’t run away from your problems, it’s just not that easy,” Ginny said wisely in a sisterly manner. When had she gotten to smart anyway?

“I wasn’t thinking about running away; just taking a break. I can’t handle the drama. And I swear, if one more person looks at me with that damn melancholy look...” Harry’s voice trailed off as he made a crude hand motion, demonstrating what he would have liked to do to the person.

Ginny looked at Harry and she felt like slapping that brother of hers and his girlfriend. What kind of best friends were they if they didn’t notice him like this?

“Oh, Harry, is it that hard to just admit your feelings and tell her?” Ginny asked, knowing that Harry knew who ‘her’ implied.

Harry was just about to retort, in a negative way no doubt, when suddenly Dumbledore walked in, cutting their conversation short.

“Sorry to interrupt Miss Weasley, but may I borrow Harry for the time being?” Professor Dumbledore said with a trademark twinkle in his eye.

“We’ll talk later, Harry.” With that Ginny left.

“Come, let’s continue this in my office, shall we?” Dumbledore said walking with Harry following him. Once in Dumbledore’s office, Harry took a seat in front of the Headmaster’s desk, curious about why he was brought here.

“Harry, I’m not going to lie to you,” Professor Dumbledore said, his eyes losing some of its twinkle, “I’ve asked you to come here to discuss matters concerning the war.” At this, Harry gave Dumbledore all his attention.

“Voldemort is steadily gaining supporters, and his army well soon become too powerful for the Order to fight alone. We have decided to being recruiting members at an earlier age. On top of the normal way of recruiting people after they have finished their schooling, we will begin to induct members still in their 7th year of whom we decide are worthy. These members will be in a separate division, after receiving proper training. I’ve asked you here today, Harry, to offer you the option of becoming an Order of the Phoenix member early.”

Harry was stunned at what he had just heard. Dumbledore would allow him to become an Order member before he graduated Hogwart’s?

“You will have to miss a few weeks of school, if you choose to accept, but I’m sure we can work something out with your teachers about the make-up work,” Dumbledore added.

“When can I leave?” was all Harry had to say. To Harry, this was a God send. This was his opportunity to leave it all, to take a break from the drama and stress.

“Tomorrow night, be prepared to leave right after dinner tomorrow,” Dumbledore said, beaming at Harry proudly.

Ginny left the classroom and and went to the Head Boy and Girl’s dormitories, she needed to speak with Draco. Her boyfriend was the only other person she talked to about Harry, and he understood. He and Harry had a respect for each other, but neither would ever admit it. You could even say they developed a strange sort of friendship after the events from last year.

When Ginny entered the private she didn’t find Draco, but instead saw something that made her blood boil. Now normally, Ginny would have been delighted for Ron and Hermione’s relationship. However, she could not, in good conscience, support them when she knew what it put Harry through. She was angry that her dense brother and Hermione couldn’t see the distress they were causing Harry. Ginny was tempted to say something, but before the words could come out of her mouth a voice from behind stopped her.

“Just leave it alone, Gin.” Draco whispered. He had just entered through the portrait hole. “It’s not our place to say anything, Potter needs to confront this on his own.”

Ginny turned around, ready to retort, but knew it was futile; Draco was right. She sighed loudly, but the couple on the couch seemed unfazed by the noise.

“C’mon, let’s go somewhere else,” Draco said leading Ginny out of the room.

Hermione looked up as she heard the portrait slam shut, but thought nothing of it when she didn’t see anyone. She focused her attention back onto Ron. The two were happily ignorant to the torment that Harry, or anyone else, was going through. Not for too much longer, though. They would learn soon enough that paradise had to end sometime, but for the moment, the two remained blissfully unaware.

A/N: mmmk, so a couple things i wanna say:
1) before anyone says anything, the relationship between Harry and Ginny is strictly platonic; i tried to make it seem that way, but i dunno, it could come off as underlying emotions and what not, but there isn’t any; Ginny is with Draco, Harry loves Hermione. period. just wanted to make that clear.
2) Ron and Hermione aren’t the bad guys or anything cuz they aren’t actually doing this to Harry intentionally, but i had to make them out as a little cruel because this is all a limited point of view. besides, there wuldn’t be a plot if there wasn’t an antagonist. i dont hate Ron, so im not gunna turn him into an asshole, im just trying to stick with the canon, and he’s quite dense in the books. he had time to redeem himself, dont worry.
3) im sorry if the updates are a bit slow, just in case u didnt no, im only posting one new chapter a week, usually on friday or saturday, so that’s wen u can look for sumthing new; assuming u even like this story. k, so i think that’s it, thanks for reading, and please review, i wanna no wut u think. feel free to ask any questions u have, i’ll answer

3. Decisions Made

Title: Getting Past the Pain
Author: jltat
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 3: Decisions Made

I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I’m with you
I wanna be the only hand you need to hold on to
But every time I call you don’t have time
I guess I’ll never get to call you mine
- Simple Plan

“So Dumbledore asked you to leave tonight?!” Ginny asked after Harry informed her of what Professor Dumbledore wanted him to do.

“And you accepted?” Harry nodded. Thwack.

“Ow! Hey! What was that for?” Harry exclaimed rubbing the side of his head from where the pillow hit him.

“Are you out of your bloody mind!? You could get hurt, you could die, you could -”

“He could finally get away from all this like he wanted to.”

Harry and Ginny turned around to find Malfoy there leaning against the wall. How did he manage to show up all the time out of nowhere?

“Exactly what I was going to say,” Harry said.

“But Harry, its dangerous, you don’t even know who else is going to be there, or how many others there will be.” Ginny replied, trying to reason with him.

“Is that all you’re worried about, Gin? Let me make it easier then, I’ll be there, I’ve heard there’ll be two 7th years coming from Beauxbaton, one coming from Durmstrang, and three Aurors including Tonks and Shacklebolt.” Draco said to the two Gryffindors, who were momentarily stunned.

“You’re going too?” Ginny said, not sounding pleased.

“Yep, so looks like you have nothing left to worry about,” Draco replied, smiling cheekily. Ginny didn’t look happy; redheads did not like to lose.

Later that afternoon Harry had Double Potions with Slytherin as the last class of the day before dinner. He had yet to tell Ron and Hermione, or anyone else for that matter, that he was leaving in a few hours, but as he looked at the two now, he didn’t seem particularly keen on telling them anymore.

Snape had not come into the Dungeons yet to begin class, and for once Harry was wishing for him to start class early. Beside him were his two best friends who could have been glued together at the lips and you could never tell the difference. How did they breathe?

Harry looked around the room, trying to focus on anything but the pair sitting next to him. He looked down the row of desks and saw Lavender and Parvati. Lavender looked at him with sad eyes. Time to look in another direction.

He looked past Parvati and Lavender and saw Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson who wore the same expression on their faces as Lavender’s. So maybe staring at the floor would be smarter for Harry to do until Snape came.

Potions dragged on. And on. And on. Professor Snape took a total of 40 points from Gryffindor, mostly because Neville melted his cauldron, but also because Snape was not fond of students kissing in the middle of his class. Especially Gryffindors that were friends with Harry Potter. Who would have thought.

“Hey, Hermione, can I talk to you for a minute?” Harry said after Potions had ended. He didn’t think it seemed right to withhold the fact that he was leaving that night from his friends.

“Sure Harry, what’s up?” Hermione asked him.

“Well, I just thought I would tell you that -”

“Hey, Hermione! Let’s go, we were supposed to go to that place... remember?” Ron called after them, with a mischievous glint in his eye. Harry didn’t even want to think about where they were going.

Hermione looked apologetically at Harry. “I’m sorry Harry, I have to go, you cant tell me some other time though right?”

“Yea... sure,” Harry said, but they were already walking away. “Some other time...” Harry walked dejectedly towards the Great Hall.

That night, Harry, Draco, and Ginny walked towards Dumbledore’s office. Ginny only came to say good-bye to the two.

“We’ll be back soon, Gin, don’t worry about it ok?.” Draco reassured his girlfriend as he kissed her on the cheek.

Ginny looked skeptical, but nodded all the same. She then turned to Harry.

“Did you tell Ron and Hermione you were leaving?”

“No, but they were, um... busy, so I just let them go do what ever it was they had to do. Do me a favor though, don’t tell them where I’m going unless they ask. I don’t want them to be worried, they have enough to think about with their school work and Hermione being Head Girl.” Harry said.

Ginny wanted to retort that if they were being good friends they would have taken time out of their ‘busy’ schedules just to here him out, but she agreed for Harry’s sake.

They reached the gargoyle in front of Professor Dumbledore’s office.

“This is where you leave us Ginny.” Draco said. He kissed her and pulled her into a hug.

“We’ll see you soon,” Harry reassured and hugged her after Malfoy.

The two entered the Headmaster’s office and Ginny walked back to the common room. Somehow, she thought, this seems to be a really bad decision made on Harry’s part.

A/N: im sorry for the delay, but my cat got run over yesterday and we had to take it to the vet, and then wen i tried to get on portkey and ff.net my internet went kinda hay wire, so sorry. i didnt have time to proof read this chapter so it’s not gonna be that good, but i hope u bear with me, it’ll get better, im just reeli stressed rite now. school sucks by the way.

4. Author

Ok, im aware that some of you guys thought Hermione was a bit OOC last chapter, so lemme address those of you that pointed that out.

1.) I know that some h/hr shippers can’t grasp why Hermione would ever go out with Ron (I can’t either), but when you’re a hormonal teenager, you tend to think differently and experiment; after all, that’s what these people are: 16 year old kids.

2.) Another point some reviewers made was that Hermione would never let Ron ‘control her that way,’ and I agree. However, if they were going out, they would spend more time together and if they had plans before hand then Hermione would follow through. It wasn’t like Ron commanded her to go. She went willingly.

3.) I don’t think she totally blew Harry off either; it wasn’t as if she had said ‘yea, so Harry, my boyfriend is waaay more important than talking to you.’ She had intentions of talking to Harry later like she had said. She just didn’t know the full importance of why he had to speak to her right then and there.

4.) For the people who said that Hermione would definitely notice that something was wrong with Harry’s mood or attitude, yes, she normally would. But she has been spending more time with Ron and less time with Harry, so she hasn’t really been able to pick up anything. Yet. Stress on the word ‘yet.’

To tell you the truth, I was surprised you all had a problem with Hermione’s OOC-ness and not Malfoy’s, because when I wrote this I definitely thought he wasn’t in character and that people would say something about it.

I’m not angry either at the people who pointed out what they thought, after all I did ask for the input of the reviewers. I’m just addressing what some people had problems with. I tend to sound angry when I answer things, mostly because I’m crazily sarcastic, so yea, just wanted to say no hard feelings to these people. I’m glad they said something, just shows that now everybody thinks like I do. Thank god; the world would not be ready for that.

Anyway, enough of this crap, on with the chapter.

5. Trouble In

Title: Getting Past the Pain
Author: jltat
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: sorry for the lateness... 2 days, but late none the less. ive been cramming like crazy because we have these state standarized tests this week called SOL’s, aka Standards Of Learning. im convinced it stands for the fact that if you have to take them, you’re Shit Outta Luck, but thats just my opinion.

Chapter 4: Trouble In Paradise

Way away away from here I’ll be
Way away away so you can see
How it feels to be alone and not believe... anything
- Yellowcard

“Oy, Ginny, do you know where Harry’s at? I haven’t seen him around,” Ron asked his sister one night. It had been two days since Harry and Malfoy left. It took Hermoine and Ron two days to notice the absence of their friend.

Even though Harry had given Ginny permission to tell his friends where he was going, Professor Dumbledore stopped Ginny the next day to kindly ask her not to inform anybody of where Harry and Draco were. Not like Ginny was in the mood to divulge that information to the pair anyway.

“Neither have I,” Hermione said, “He was supposed to tell me something, but I haven’t seen him since we were interuppted.”

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know,” Ginny said under her breath.

“What’s that, Gin?”

“I said, dear brother, that if you really cared, you would have noticed before just now that he seemed to be missing,” Ginny replied glaring at him.

Hermione and Ron were momentarily stunned silent at Ginny’s hostility towards them. They would have retorted, but thought better of it. It was a known fact that the only thing worse than a Pranking Weasley was a Pissed Off Weasley, and Ginny Weasley was definitely angry at something.

“Jeez, you would think it was that time of the month again,” Ron said, this time earning a glare from both his sister and girlfriend. Open mouth, insert foot.

“Nevermind, I get it, forget I asked or said anything at all,” Ron said backing away from the girls and towards the portrait hole.

“I think leaving would be the smartest thing you’ve done or said all night, Ron,” Ginny replied, seething. After Ron was a good distance away, Hermione turned towards the girl she had come to know as her sister.

“Ginny,” Hermione said hesitantly, “Can you please tell me where Harry is, I know you know... I’m worried about him.”

Ginny looked at Hermione and all thoughts of making an indignant remark died when she saw genuine concern in the other girl’s eyes. She sighed. A part of Ginny wanted to tell Hermione that Harry was on a mission with the Order, but another part of her didn’t think she deserved an answer. After all, where was she when Harry needed her to worry about him? She certainly didn’t have good timing. Hermione waited for an answer, but when one wasn’t coming she gave up. The hurt was evident in her eyes.

“Look Ginny, what ever I did... I’m sorry, I just want to know if anything has happened to my best friend,” Hermione said softly, almost pleadingly. “So I assume Draco and Harry are at the same place; where ever that may be. I’ve been doing rounds by myself for the past two nights.” Damn Hermione and her perceptiveness.

Hermione sighed and got up to leave.

“Why do you care so much anyway? He’s just your friend,” Ginny asked Hermione. It wasn’t meant to be spiteful, and there was no venom behind her words, she was just truly curious.

Hermione stopped right before she stepped out the portrait hole.

“I... I’m not too sure myself,” Hermione said truthfully. And she walked out with a million thoughts rushing through her head at one time. Most of which were centered around Harry.

A/N: so, hope that was ok, review, lemme no what u think. next chapter will be up soon, i promise.

6. A/N

Ok so here’s the deal: I have this story finished already on my mac and backed up on a disk. However, my mac broke down on me (it was on its last leg anyway) and I can’t get a new one until late August/early September with how much I make now. Now, if anyone has ever tried to open a mac file on a windows operating system… they can back me up when I say they’re definitely NOT compatible.

So this story is gonna have to be paused until September. Sorry for anyone who was reading it… probably not a lotta people heartbroken over this one, but still, just wanted to inform anyone who actually reads my story about why I can’t update. Between now and September however, I will be posting other stories; I hope that makes up for the lengthy delay.