Heartbroken

Excalibur

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 28/04/2004
Last Updated: 04/07/2004
Status: completed

Depression is a disease that can't truly be cured. In some cases, it can lead people to do drastic things. Harry fell in love with his best friend but it seems the feelings aren't mutual. With the loss of Sirius still fresh in his mind, and the rejection of Hermione, Harry just can't handle the emotional baggage ...Response to the challenge Heartbroken. (The story starts off rather depressing but will end up H/Hr ... this IS Portkey, afterall ... :D)

Chapters

1. The Plunge

2. It Cant Be!

3. Im Here

4. Best Friends

5. The Pit of Despair

6. Finding the Courage to Return

7. The-Boy-Who-Survived

8. The Talk

9. Couples Therapy

10. EPILOGUE

1. The Plunge

CHAPTER ONE

The Plunge

This last summer was the most draining of any that Harry Potter had lived through his entire, young, life. With the death of Sirius, he’d slipped into a near, catatonic depression and would have wasted away if not for the machinations of his best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. They put pressure on Dumbledore to move him to Grimmauld Place even though the pain of losing his Godfather was tearing apart his heart and soul. They knew he was taking the loss hard, they all were in their own way, but hadn’t realized just how bad it had gotten until they never received their first owl.

Worried that the Dursleys had done something to him, Tonks, Moody, and Lupin paid the muggles a visit just as they’d promised they would. Uncle Vernon stammered feebly as he let the three Aurors into the house and a pale Aunt Petunia led them to Harry’s room.

They were shocked at the sight that awaited them. His room had been completely ransacked and he was lying in his bed wearing the same clothes that he had been in when they left him at Kings Cross Station two weeks prior.

Harry didn’t look at them when they called his name. The truth of the matter was he didn’t have the energy to even lift his own head. He could only look out the window and stare at the passing clouds. There was one that looked like a large, fluffy, white version of Sirius when he was in his dog form and Harry smiled slightly at the recollection.

He didn’t flinch when Lupin began to examine him and he ignored the gasps when everyone saw how thin he’d become.

“We gave him food every day!” Vernon bellowed angrily. “It’s not my fault if the ruddy freak won’t eat it!” He blanched when Moody wheeled on him.

“Don’t ever call this boy a freak!” The aged Auror seethed. “If he wasn’t eating, then you should have forced him to!”

Petunia hid behind her husband and began to pull on his arm.

“Get off of me, woman!” He bellowed in response. “No, you listen to me! We’ve been kind enough to house him since he was an infant, give him the clothes on his back, a roof over his head, and food to eat!” Uncle Vernon bellowed as his face got redder and redder. “If he didn’t eat it, then it’s none of our concern!” With a loud, bull-like snort, the obese man spun on his heel and dragged his wife from the small room.

“The nerve of that blubber-bound oaf!” Tonks screeched. She looked at Harry sadly and cradled him in her arms. “Wotcher, Harry ...” She said with a soft smile. “We’re going to take you where people care for you, no more of this nonsense, regardless of the wards on the place.”

Lupin placed a tender hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Your parents wouldn’t want to see you this way, Harry, trust me on this.”

Harry glanced at his former professor with a look that could have killed but the older man shrugged it off. “I know you miss Sirius, Harry. He ... He was my best friend and I was just getting to know him again.” Remus choked back a sob and Harry’s eyes softened.

“I’m sorry, Remus.” He croaked. “He was the last link to my parents ...”

Remus shook his head. “No he wasn’t, Harry.” He looked to Harry with sad eyes. “I knew them both just as well. I might have been a little more aloof when it came to breaking rules but I loved them just as much as Sirius did.”

Harry closed his eyes and felt the sting of tears return to them. He thought that he’d run out of them a few days ago but apparently he was wrong.

Lupin brought a small mirror to his face and spoke into it. “We have Harry, Albus, he’s not in good shape.”

“Go ahead and take him to headquarters then.” Dumbledore replied with a sigh. “It might not be safe to stay there for long.”

Harry felt weary and felt himself drift to sleep as his three friends packed his things. Remus cradled him in his arms and with a pop apparated to the foyer of the Noble House of Black.

The summer slipped by faster than he could remember. Hermione had arrived just minutes after she found out how bad Harry actually was and Ron followed shortly afterwards. There wasn’t a moment where one of them wasn’t with him and as the days went on and his strength returned, Harry began to talk to Hermione more and more about his feelings and how badly he ached to be with Sirius and his parents again. After he admitted to these feelings, Hermione made an effort to be with him almost all the time, comforting him and talking to him in an attempt to make Harry realize that there was more to life.

Being so close to her each day and spending the countless hours with her soft words of comfort and encouragement left Harry with a new feeling he thought he’d never experience. When he woke each day to find her smiling from a bedside chair, his heart beat faster and he felt queasy. The feelings that were building in him gave him a sense of purpose, a newfound look on life, and a need to be with Hermione in more than a platonic way. She became his sun and moon and though he chuckled at the thought of her being such a cliché to him, he could find no other words to describe her.

Harry had eventually built up the courage to tell her about the prophecy and it pained him to see the look of horror that crossed her face when she realized the ramifications of what it meant. She had recovered amiably and they continued their daily talks though Hermione seemed shaken at what she’d learned.

Before long, the time came when they had to go back to school and for the first time he could recall, he dreaded going to Hogwarts. Harry didn’t want to leave the closeness he’d built up with his female best friend and didn’t want to be apart from her for any length of time. But there was something lurking in the background that seemed rather odd to him. Even though he felt the way he did about Hermione, she seemed to treat him as her friend, best friend, yes, but a friend none-the-less.

Harry couldn’t help but wonder if the prophecy was the cause of her change in attitude towards him or if she sensed his feelings for her. She seemed to have pushed away from him towards the end of the summer break and even though it hurt, Harry decided to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself until he could find out if she could feel the same way about him.

The first term went by smoothly, aside from the standard problems with the Slytherins and Snape, and Harry’s hopes grew that he would be able to spend time with Hermione during the Christmas holiday. She’d elected to remain at the castle along with Ron, Ginny, and himself but she seemed to keep him at arms length.

Christmas Eve had finally arrived and Harry felt it was time to talk to her about how he felt. She was laughing with Ron about some private joke when he entered the common room and smiled at his two best friends.

“Hey, anything you guys would like to share?” He asked with a smile behind them.

They shuffled apart and turned to smile nervously back.

“Hey, mate.” Ron said with a blush. “W-Where’ve you been?”

“Hi, Harry.” Hermione said quietly. His heart went to her at the pained look in her eyes.

“I just got back from an Occlumency lesson. Professor Dumbledore thinks I should keep at it.” Harry said with a wave of his hand. “Are you ok, Hermione?”

Hermione blushed and looked away. “I’m fine, Harry.” She said in her fake cheerful tone. Harry felt his heart start to crack when he heard it.

Why’s she faking happiness? He thought quietly.

“I-I was wondering if we could talk ...” Harry said quietly.

She looked to him with a sympathetic look. “Sure, Harry.” She said with concern on her face. “Is this about any of the memories that Snape forced you to relive?”

Harry shook his head and smiled. “No, it’s nothing about that. Care to meet me in the room of requirement in about a half an hour?”

Hermione looked to Ron then smiled back at Harry. “Sure. I’ll see you then.”

Harry smiled curiously and looked to Ron. “Wizard’s chess after we get back?”

Ron laughed. “Only if you want to be beat again!”

With a laugh, Harry smiled and left for the room of requirement. He’d actually spent most of the day working on a romantic scene to tell her how he felt and was eagerly waiting to see the surprise on her face. Dobby had worked with him in secret and had set up a small, two-person feast made of Hermione’s favorite foods. After dinner he planned to tell her how he felt and with any luck, the mistletoe near the hearth would allow them to seal their feelings for one another.

Harry stood by the table looking around nervously. He hoped it would be comfortable enough and Hermione wouldn’t run away screaming ...

The door opened and Hermione stepped in the room and gasped. Her jaw was slack and she looked around with wide eyes.

“Harry? What’s all this?” She asked dumbfounded.

Harry laughed. “Happy Christmas!” He said with a smile as he took her by the hand and escorted her to her seat. “I thought a little dinner would be a start to the thanks that I owe you for helping me through everything this summer.”

“You didn’t have to do all this, Harry!” She said with a smile. “A simple thank you would have been more than enough.”

Harry smiled and nearly lost his composure when she gave him a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. He blushed profusely and let out a nervous laugh. “Well, I didn’t think that was quite enough.”

She smiled brightly at him and took her seat. Harry joined her and smiled when dinner was served. “How did you know that I liked spinach soufflé?” She asked with a bright twinkle in her eyes.

“I think you told me about it once.” He said with a shy smile. “Hmm, I think it was during first year ... Before you left for Christmas holiday, you said your Mum made a wonderful spinach soufflé.” He looked across the table to her twinkling eyes and bright smile and felt as if a flock of giant butterflies had been released in his stomach.

“You remembered that?” She asked with a smile. “I think I mentioned it in passing.”

Harry shrugged. “I guess so.” He smiled back. “It’s easy to remember what you say, Hermione.”

“Oh, then who was the leader of the 1263 Goblin Rebellion?” She asked with a sly grin.

“Oh, you mean Bracktooth?” He said with an equally sly grin.

Hermione looked at him in surprise. “If you remember that, why did you get it wrong on the test?”

Harry shrugged. “You asked me about it over lunch when you saw it.” He cleared his throat. “Let’s see if I can remember it. ‘Harry! Why did you write SleazeRot there when you knew perfectly well it was Bracktooth?!’”

Hermione laughed. “You’re scaring me, Harry. Don’t tell me that all we have to do to get you outstanding marks is for me to quiz you?”

“That or tell me the answers.” He said cheekily.

Hermione scrunched her face then burst into a fit of giggles. “I’m glad that you’re feeling better, Harry. I really am. I was getting worried about you when you started getting quiet again.”

They had just finished their meal and Harry smiled at her. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind is all.” He said mysteriously. “Want to have a butterbeer in front of the fire?” He stood and offered his arm after a dramatic bow that caused Hermione to laugh again.

“I guess we have time.” She said with a smile and slipped her hand under his elbow. They sat next to each other on the sofa and Hermione smiled. “What’s gotten into you, Harry?” She asked after a sip from her bottle.

Harry cleared his throat nervously and looked down to the bottle in his hands.

“Harry? Is there something wrong?” Hermione put a comforting hand on his shoulder and Harry turned to meet her gaze.

“I wanted to thank you for making me realize that there was more to life than what I had lost.” He started quietly. “With Sirius’ death, it felt like there wasn’t anything else in this world that could bring me happiness.” He looked to the floor but Hermione caught his chin with a tender touch and pulled his face towards hers so their eyes were locked again.

“Harry, you don’t have to thank me for that. You’ll never have to thank me for being there for you.” She said empathetically.

Harry smiled at her words and her touch filled him with the courage he so desperately needed. He leaned towards her and Hermione’s scent overwhelmed his senses. He couldn’t think straight and before he realized it, he was kissing her soft, rosy lips. He felt the familiar flutter in his stomach and his heart began racing at a dizzying speed. An electricity like he’d never felt swept through his body and ignited his skin in a blazing warmth. He felt her hands slide against his chest and push him gently away.

“Harry, I-I’m sorry, but s-stop.”

He blinked at her in confusion. “Hermione ...”

“Harry ... I-I can’t.” She stood abruptly and her bottle of butterbeer rolled off her lap and shattered on the stone floor.

“But ... But I was just trying to show you how much I care for you ...” He tried to catch her eye but she glanced away and stepped back.

“I’m really ... f-flattered, Harry, but ... but ...” She stammered.

“But what?” He felt a pang in his heart and a sense of dread began to replace the elated happiness he’d felt during the kiss.

Hermione didn’t look at him. “I’m ... I’m dating ... Ron, Harry ...”

His heart fell through the floor and looked at her dumbstruck. “You ... You and Ron?” He asked stupidly as he tried to wrap his mind around the concept. “H-How ... How long?”

Hermione’s head bowed. “Just before we went to Grimmauld Place, Harry.” She said quietly. There were tears streaking down her cheeks. “We thought it would be best if we kept it a secret from you until you were feeling better ...”

They’re keeping secrets from me again? Harry felt a numb sensation spread through his body. “Oh.” He said quietly. “I’m sorry I forced myself on you.”

Hermione shook her head. “It’s ok, Harry, you ... you didn’t know.” She looked back nervously. “Are you ok? Are you ok with Ron and me?”

Harry sighed. “I’ll be fine.” He said. He looked at her with a forced smile. “If it wasn’t me, then I’m glad it was Ron.”

Hermione looked at him skeptically. “Are we ok, Harry?”

He forced another smile and stood to give her a quick hug. Before she had a chance to return the embrace or move away, he pulled back and released her. “We’ll be fine.” He said quietly. “Why don’t you go on back to Ron, I’m sure he’s wondering if I’ve kidnapped you or something.”

“Harry, I know when you’re forcing your smiles ...” She said hesitantly and started towards him but he held up a hand.

“J-just give me a little time, ok? I need to absorb all of this ...” He said with a trembling voice. “I should clean up before I go to bed.”

Hermione had a pained look on her face but nodded slowly. “Ok.” She said at last. “I hope you’re not mad at me and we can stay ... friends.”

Harry smiled genuinely. “You’ll always be my friend, Hermione.” He said as a tear tried to escape to his cheek. He turned away before more followed and moved to the table to keep himself busy. “I’ll see you guys in the morning. Tell Ron that I’m sorry I skived on that wizard’s chess match ...”

Hermione nodded. “Ok, Harry. I’ll see you in the morning?”

Harry nodded. “See you on Christmas.” He said as cheerfully as he could.

He kept himself busy until Hermione had left the room. When he was alone he pulled out a chair and let the tears he’d been holding back flow freely.

Why is it me who’s always left alone? WHY?! He screamed at himself. In a fit of frustrated grief, he threw everything off the table and kicked it over. “I need to get out of here.” He growled fiercely.

He left the room of requirement and walked down the deserted halls with his hands firmly planted in his pockets.

Why is it the one girl I really care about can’t feel the same way for me? How can she spend all that time with me and not feel anything more than friendship? His path had no direction and he just walked up stairs at random. There’s nobody left who loves me. Why do they all have to be taken away?

Harry stepped onto the roof of the astronomy tower and didn’t notice the sharp, cold breeze that was swirling the snow around him. He looked into the partly clouded sky and saw the Dog Star twinkling merrily in the blackened heavens.

“Hi, Sirius.” He said, choking back a sob. “Are Mum and Dad with you?”

The star seemed to twinkle in response and Harry felt a melancholy smile cross his face. He walked to the ramparts and sat on the edge with his feet dangling freely in the wind.

“Why is it so hard to keep love in my life?” He asked to no one in particular. “Mum and Dad, you were taken from me before I could walk, before I could know what it was like to love anyone.” He looked to the happily twinkling star that seemed to be inviting him to join it. “Sirius, you gave me so much hope that I could experience having a loving father and you were taken from me too ...”

Harry felt a new batch of tears form in his eyes and the thought of Hermione’s reaction crashed against his heart like a tidal wave on an unsuspecting shore. His tears dropped one-by-one from his cheek and the wind caught them and pulled them to the ground far below. “Hermione doesn’t love me ...” He said in a strange, detached voice. “Nobody here loves me ...”

He got to his feet and looked out to the forbidden forest. A thestral flew above the trees for a moment before it dove back into the sea of black and white the forest had become. “Happy Christmas ...” He said quietly and jumped off the edge of the tower.

He had never felt so free, falling through the air without the need for a broom to keep him aloft. He felt his heart begin to race and Hermione’s face flashed before his eyes. “I love yo ...” Harry collided with the ground head first and crumbled into a bloody heap at the base of the astronomy tower. The lights in the castle danced merrily as the various tenants enjoyed their parties and kisses were shared between loved ones.

Hermione stiffened as a cold breeze blew across her neck.

“What’s wrong, Hermione?” Ron asked after he realized his girlfriend wasn’t talking anymore.

Hermione looked at him curiously. “I don’t know.” She said quietly. “I ... I ... oh, it’s silly.” She said with a wave of her hand.

“Come on, Hermione, you can tell me. You look like something’s been on your mind since you talked with Harry.” Ron said seriously.

A far away look settled in Hermione’s eyes. “I can’t explain it.” She said so softly she wasn’t sure she’d actually said it. “But I suddenly feel ... alone.”

Ron smiled. “You’re not alone, Hermione. I’m right here.” He kissed her on the cheek and smiled when she cringed, thinking he’d hit a ticklish spot when he leaned in. “And tomorrow, you’ll be here with Ginny, me, and Harry opening presents.”

She shook her head and smiled. “I know you’re right.” She sighed deeply and looked out the window at the twinkling Dog Star. “I guess I’m just imagining things.”

A/N: Well, first chapter in my response to: Heartbroken is here. The challenge starts off sad, but gets better, so please hang in there with me!

2. It Cant Be!

CHAPTER TWO

It Can’t Be!

Harry cleared his throat nervously and looked down to the bottle in his hands.

“Harry? Is there something wrong?” Hermione put a comforting hand on his shoulder and Harry turned to meet her gaze.

“I wanted to thank you for making me realize that there was more to life than what I had lost.” He started quietly. “With Sirius’ death, it felt like there wasn’t anything else in this world that could bring me happiness.” He looked to the floor but Hermione caught his chin with a tender touch and pulled his face towards hers so their eyes were locked again.

“Harry, you don’t have to thank me for that. You’ll never have to thank me for being there for you.” She said empathetically.

Harry smiled at her words. Before Hermione knew what he was doing, Harry was kissing her. Her eyes went wide as pure electricity seemed to course from her lips to her heart. She could feel an exciting warmth spread through her body and every inch of her skin rippled with gooseflesh. She lost herself in his soft lips and felt her lips moving of their own accord.

Why doesn’t Ron kiss this sweetly? She asked as her eyes began to close. She began to move her hands up his sides and her eyes went wide. RON! Fighting to control herself, Hermione gently pushed the young man in front of her away.

Oh, Harry! Why didn’t we talk sooner? She cried to herself.

“Harry, I-I’m sorry, but s-stop.”

I don’t want to stop, don’t listen to me!

He blinked at her in confusion. “Hermione ...”

“Harry ... I-I can’t.” She stood abruptly and her bottle of butterbeer rolled off her lap and shattered on the stone floor.

“But ... But I was just trying to show you how much I care for you ...” He tried to catch her eye but she glanced away and stepped back.

“I’m really ... f-flattered, Harry, but ... but ...” She stammered.

“But what?” He asked incredulously.

Hermione felt a pang of guilt lodge in her throat and her face was burning with embarrassment. She didn’t look at him. “I’m ... I’m dating ... Ron, Harry ...”

Harry looked at her dumbstruck. “You ... You and Ron?” He asked stupidly. “H-How ... How long?”

Hermione’s head bowed. “Just before we went to Grimmauld Place, Harry.” She said quietly. There were tears streaking down her cheeks. “We thought it would be best if we kept it a secret from you until you were feeling better ...”

“Oh.” He said quietly. “I’m sorry I forced myself on you.”

Harry, no, you didn’t ... Why can’t I just tell him? She cried to herself ... Because I’ll hurt Ron ...

Hermione shook her head. “It’s ok, Harry, you ... you didn’t know.” She looked back nervously. “Are you ok? Are you ok with Ron and me?”

Harry sighed. “I’ll be fine.” He said. He looked at her with a forced smile. “If it wasn’t me, then I’m glad it was Ron.”

He’s forcing his smiles, he’s hiding his feelings ...

Hermione looked at him skeptically. “Are we ok, Harry?”

He forced another smile and stood to give her a quick hug. Before she had a chance to return the embrace or move away, he pulled back and released her. “We’ll be fine.” He said quietly. “Why don’t you go on back to Ron, I’m sure he’s wondering if I’ve kidnapped you or something.”

“Harry, I know when you’re forcing your smiles ...” She said hesitantly and started towards him but he held up a hand.

“J-just give me a little time, ok? I need to absorb all of this ...” He said with a trembling voice. “I should clean up before I go to bed.”

Hermione felt her heart break at the sound of his voice and couldn’t hide the pained look on her face. Even though she wanted to reach out and hug him, to tell him that it was ok, she nodded slowly. “Ok.” She said at last. “I hope you’re not mad at me and we can stay ... friends.”

Friends ... Is that what I really want?

Harry smiled genuinely. “You’ll always be my friend, Hermione.” He said as a tear tried to escape to his cheek. He turned away from her and she felt her heart sink further. “I’ll see you guys in the morning. Tell Ron that I’m sorry I skived on that wizard’s chess match ...”

Hermione nodded. “Ok, Harry. I’ll see you in the morning?”

Harry nodded. “See you on Christmas.” He said as cheerfully as he could.

Hermione looked at him concernedly but left the room as he had requested. When the door had shut, she leaned against the wall and buried her face in her hands.

Why? Why didn’t he tell me earlier? She began weeping. Harry, I don’t want to lose you ...

She wiped away her tears and looked at the bare stretch of wall that held the door to the room of requirement safely from view. She sniffed away another batch of tears and walked slowly back to the Gryffindor common room.

Before she entered she made herself presentable, she didn’t want to make Ron jealous or upset if he noticed she’d been crying. “Mugwump.” She said to the fat lady and climbed through the portrait hole once the entrance was open.

“Hey, Hermione!” Ron said with a smile from the sofa. “Have a good chat with Harry?”

Hermione nodded slowly and made her way to the offered seat next to him.

“I hope he’s in the mood for some chess, I’ve been itching for at least a little competition ...”

Hermione brought her fingers to her lips and the feeling of kissing Harry vividly came to mind. She could remember every sensation, every jolt, every heart flutter, everything about their kiss seemed almost magical. She looked over at the gibbering Ron. Yes, he seemed to be gibbering after the conversation she’d had with Harry.

Harry ... Could it be that I ...

Hermione stiffened as a cold breeze blew across her neck.

What was that? She looked out the window. Why do I feel like I’m suddenly ...

“What’s wrong, Hermione?” Ron asked after he realized his girlfriend wasn’t talking anymore.

Hermione looked at him curiously. “I don’t know.” She said quietly. “I ... I ... oh, it’s silly.” She said with a wave of her hand.

“Come on, Hermione, you can tell me. You look like something’s been on your mind since you talked with Harry.” Ron said seriously.

A far away look settled in Hermione’s eyes. “I can’t explain it.” She said so softly she wasn’t sure she’d actually said it. “But I suddenly feel ... alone.”

Ron smiled. “You’re not alone, Hermione. I’m right here.” He kissed her on the cheek and smiled when she cringed, thinking he’d hit a ticklish spot when he leaned in. “And tomorrow, you’ll be here with Ginny, me, and Harry opening presents.”

She shook her head and smiled. “I know you’re right.” She sighed deeply and looked out the window at the twinkling Dog Star. “I guess I’m just imagining things.”

But why do I suddenly feel so empty?

She stood slowly and stretched. “I’m tired, Ron, I think I’m going to go to bed. See you in the morning?”

* * *

See you in the morning? See you in the morning? See you in the morning?

* * *

Hermione shook her head.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Ron asked concernedly. Hermione jumped when she realized that he was standing right in front of her. “Hermione?”

She brought a hand to her racing heart. “I got lost in thought for a second ... You scared the life out of me!”

Ron grinned sheepishly. “Sorry.” He said quietly. “I was saying that I may as well go to bed too. Goodnight, Hermione.” He leaned in for a kiss and got her cheek instead of her lips. Ron opened his eyes and stared at her in confusion. “Hermione?”

She smiled at him timidly and pulled him into a quick hug. “I’m just really tired, Ron, goodnight.”

Before Ron could react or go in for another kiss, Hermione was up the stairs to the girl’s dormitories.

This isn’t fair to Ron, not at all ... Why didn’t I see this sooner? She sighed heavily after she was ready for bed and looked to the sleeping form of Ginny in the bed next to hers. She smiled at her young friend and crawled under the warm covers of her own bed. A house elf must have put a bed warmer under the duvet because the warmth was divine. She sighed contentedly and closed her eyes and within a few minutes she was asleep.

* * *

“Psst. Hey, Hermione!”

“Hmm? Harry?”

“Aren’t you going to open your eyes?”

Hermione opened her eyes and looked up. She saw Harry sitting quietly on the edge of her bed smiling at her.

“Harry? How’d you get into the girl’s dormitory?”

He smiled at her and ran his cupped hand over her cheek lovingly. “I flew in through the window.” He said with a grin.

“Harry, you know you can’t be up here, if McGonagall catches you ...”

“Don’t worry, Hermione, I’ll be fine.” He said softly. Hermione looked into his glittering green orbs and felt herself drawn to him. She sat up and took his face in her soft hands and pulled him in for a kiss. She didn’t feel his lips on hers and she opened her eyes in confusion.

“Harry?”

He was looking at her sadly. “I’m sorry, Hermione, but I’ve got to go ...”

“What? Why do you have to go?” She asked curiously. “There’s nobody else here and Ginny sleeps like a log.”

Harry laughed quietly. “I know she does, it seems she’s inherited the same snoring gene that Ron has ...” His smiled faded and he looked at her with love in his eyes as he stood. “Watch over Ron and Ginny for me?” He asked simply.

“What?” She was thoroughly confused. “Harry come over here and tell me what you’re talking about!”

He smiled at her longingly but shook his head. “I have to go now. Mum’s calling me.” He looked out the window to the twinkling Dog Star that was still visible. “I’ll tell Sirius you said hi.”

“Harry! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” Fear gripped her heart and she tried to get out of bed but it seemed like the blankets were made of lead and she couldn’t move.

“Just remember that I love you, Hermione, I always will.” He said softly and faded from sight.

* * *

“HAAAARRRRRYYYYY!” She screamed as she sat bolt upright in her bed. Ginny was fumbling with the curtains of her four-poster.

“Hermione, what’s wrong?” The frustrated red-head got the curtains open at last and rushed to her screaming friend’s side.

“Where’s Harry?” Hermione asked in a state of hysterics. “Where is he? He was just here!” Hermione got out of bed and looked around the dark room frantically.

“Hermione, you were screaming in your sleep.” Ginny said quietly. “Nobody’s been here but you and me.”

Hermione sat on her bed and buried her face in her hands before she started weeping. “Ginny, what am I going to do? What can I do?”

Ginny sat next to her friend and put a comforting arm around her shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

Hermione turned to her young friend and pulled her into a hug. She couldn’t stop the tears and cried on Ginny’s shoulder. “Ginny, I don’t know what to do ... I-I think I might be in love with Harry ...”

Ginny stroked Hermione’s hair and whispered quietly to her. “It’s ok, Hermione, but I was wondering what was taking you so long...”

Hermione looked into her friend’s face. “What?”

Ginny smiled softly at her. “There aren’t many people who haven’t noticed how much you love him, Hermione.” She said bluntly. “Everyone, that is, except my dolt brother.”

“Oh, Ginny, what am I going to do about Ron?” She was back on the verge of tears again and Ginny smiled at her reassuringly.

“You’ll just have to tell him the truth, Hermione.” She cooed to her gently. “Is that what Harry wanted to talk to you about tonight?”

Hermione began to cry again but nodded.

“Why are you crying then? You love him and he loves you ...”

“I-I turned him down ...” She choked out.

“What? What possessed you to do that?” Ginny’s eyes were wide with shock. “You didn’t use the ‘let’s be friends’ bit, did you?”

The increased tears and shaking of her shoulders told Ginny that she had. Without another word, the young Weasley pulled Hermione into a comforting hug and rubbed her back. “Shh, it’ll be ok, talk to him tomorrow, it’ll sort itself out.”

Hermione sniffed. “I hope so.” She said quietly. “Ginny, I just had the strangest dream ...”

“Oh?”

“I dreamt that Harry was here, he told me to look over you and Ron ...” Her heart couldn’t take it and the tears began to flow again. “He ... He said that he’d say hi to Sirius for me ... Ginny, I didn’t tell anyone but he expressed suicidal thoughts at Grimmauld Place ... What if ... What if I ...” She broke down completely at the thought.

“Hermione! Don’t ever think that!” Ginny scolded. “Harry would never do that to us, NEVER!”

“I ... I guess you’re right.” Hermione sniffed uncertainly. “But it seemed so real ... It was like he was really here, Gin.”

“It was a vivid dream, Hermione. Come on, get back to sleep.” She said comfortingly. “Talk to Harry tomorrow and we’ll get things all sorted out, ok?”

Hermione nodded sleepily and climbed back under the covers. She looked sheepishly at Ginny. “Would you mind sleeping here?” Her eyes pleaded with her friend. “I-I don’t want to be alone ...”

Ginny smiled softly. “Sure. Just don’t kick me or anything; I’ve seen how you react to your dreams ...”

Hermione choked out a laugh. “I’m not that active.”

“Oh, I beg to differ.” Ginny laughed in reply as she slipped under the covers. “Christmas is only a few hours away, let’s get some sleep, ok?”

Hermione smiled and nodded her agreement. “Ok.”

The two girls slipped back to sleep easily. The emotional stress Hermione was under seemed to drain her of any ability to keep awake. She started dreaming again, but this time Harry wasn’t there. She and Ron were walking down the halls when she heard Hagrid scream out in anguish.

She snapped awake. “Huh?”

Ginny was looking at her sleepily. “Are you shouting again?”

Hermione looked back at her red-headed friend and stifled a laugh.

“What?” Ginny asked in irritation and she reached up to feel her hair. “Oh, Ha, Ha, Ha!” She said sarcastically and lay back down.

There was a soft knock on the door.

“Miss Granger? Miss Weasley?” Professor McGonagall called from the open door.

“Yes?” The two girls replied in unison.

“I ... I think you should come with me ... There’s been an ...” The older woman stifled a sob that caused Hermione to become fully awake. “There’s been an accident.”

“Harry?” Hermione said softly.

“Please get dressed and come to the hospital wing.” Their professor said softly and left the room.

“No ... No ... It can’t be ...” Hermione ripped the blankets off of her and bolted out the door at a full run. She slammed the portrait open and nearly fell through the trick step in her desperate attempt to reach the hospital wing of Hogwarts.

She got to the half-open door and heard Hagrid’s anguished sobs coming from inside and her heart fell through the floor. She didn’t slow down and the glass in the door shattered when she whipped it open.

Her hands shot to her mouth and her knees gave out at what she saw. Lying in the bed in front of her was Harry’s broken body. His once fair skin was blue and frostbitten; his lips were purple and bruised. He had a heavy bandage covering the top of his skull and his head was supported by a collar of some sort. She found the strength to stand and with each shaking step made it to his bedside.

“Harry?” She asked tentatively. He didn’t move. “HARRY?! WAKE UP!” She grabbed at his shoulders but was pulled back by strong arms.

“I’m sorry, Hermione ... He’s in a coma ...” Dumbledore tried to sound strong but he couldn’t stop the tremor in his voice.

Hermione looked at Harry and put her hand to his lips. “Why don’t I feel his breath?” She asked in shock. “What happened? Who did this?” She took his hand in hers and felt the ice-cold flesh it had become.

Hagrid fell to his knees and wailed unabashedly in his hands. Hermione glanced at him and back to Harry. “Why’s he so cold?” She looked frantically at Dumbledore who had his face buried in his hands.

“Hagrid found him at the base of the astronomy tower, Hermione.” He said through gasps of air. The old wizard couldn’t hold it in any longer and collapsed into the chair that was behind him.

“What? Did someone push him?” She looked frantically back to Harry and started rubbing his hand. “He was pushed, wasn’t he?”

There’s nobody here who would do that! That only means that someone from outside the castle did it ... or ... Her strength left her and she slumped beside the bed.

“Don’t tell me he jumped! He wouldn’t do that! He couldn’t do that!” She couldn’t think anymore and the tears fell freely.

“HARRY!” Ron and Ginny cried in unison. Ginny collapsed on the spot and just shook her head in shock.

Ron was at the side of the bed and began to weep uncontrollably. “What happened? WHAT?! I’m going to kill whoever did this!”

Hermione glanced at him and felt the gilt build in her chest and she began to weep anew.

Harry ... Harry ... What have I done?

3. Im Here

CHAPTER THREE

I'm Here

“I’m sorry, but you’re all going to have to leave.” Madam Pomfrey said quietly. “I need to examine him to see how extensive the damage is.”

“I’m not going.” Hermione and Ron said in unison.

“You’ll have to.” The nurse said compassionately. “As soon as I’m finished I’ll let you in, but it will only be one at a time.”

“Why isn’t he breathing?” Hermione asked quietly. She had found the strength to stand but the flow of her tears could not be stemmed.

“He’s alive, but barely.” The nurse said quietly. “His body is trying to cope with what’s happened, by all accounts, he shouldn’t ...”

Hermione shook her head. “He can’t be dead ...” She choked over a sob. “He shouldn’t be ...” She covered her face and ran from the room.

Harry, I’m so sorry! It’s my fault!

“Hermione!” Ginny called after her. She didn’t stop running. Hermione kept going in random directions and ultimately found herself in a familiar seventh floor hallway. When she realized where she was she almost ran up and down the hall. The door appeared and she opened it to a scene she wasn’t expecting.

The table was lying upside down and anything made of glass that had been on the table during their dinner was shattered on the floor. Food was sticking to the far wall and everything else was a shambles. It was like Harry’s room in second year when Ginny had ransacked it in the search for Tom Riddle’s diary.

Ginny caught up with her finally and gasped when she saw the state of the room. “Hermione?”

“We had a great dinner ...” Hermione said in a detached voice. She felt Ginny put a hand on her shoulder. “We had a good time ... But then he kissed me ...” She wiped at her tears furiously and fought to control her shaking hands. “It’s all my fault ...”

“Hermione!” Ginny pulled her around to face her. “Don’t you dare say that!”

She shook her head. “It may as well have been me that pushed him off the tower ...” The guilt pushed to the forefront of her mind and she couldn’t bear it any longer. Hermione tried to pass Ginny, but the young girl pulled her into a tight hug.

“Hermione, it’s not your fault!” She said quietly but forcefully. “Harry didn’t do this because of you ...”

Hermione pushed her away angrily. “HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! YOU DIDN’T SEE THE WAY HE LOOKED AT ME AFTER I TOLD HIM NO!” Her voice echoed through the deserted halls as her anger shot out of control like a raging volcano. Hermione shoved Ginny out of the way and ran from the room.

Why her feet took her where they did, she didn’t know. The only thing on Hermione’s mind was that she needed to be with him, to be close to him as much as possible but she was barred from the hospital wing and she went to the only place she could think of.

Hermione climbed into his bed and buried her face in his pillow. She felt the soft, down-filled pillow grow wet with her tears but she didn’t care. His scent was still there and she tried her best to inhale every ounce of it. The hours seemed to slip by as she remembered all the smiles they shared, the way his eyes would glitter when he laughed, the feel of his arms around her when she was in his arms.

Why didn’t I see it earlier? Why? Everyone saw it ... Skeeter, Mrs. Weasley ... She pulled the pillow into a tight, desperate hug, wishing that it was him and not the soft, unfeeling thing that smelled of him. Harry, why was I so blind?

She was interrupted by the quiet sobs of Ron as he walked into the room. She lay still hoping that he wouldn’t see or hear her but a new wave of sadness revealed her presence.

Ron whipped his wand around and pointed it into the darkness. “Who’s there?!” Hermione winced at the ferocity in his voice. She remained still but couldn’t stop from trembling.

“It’s me.” She said weakly, not moving from the spot she’d been in for the past several hours.

“Hermione?” He relaxed immediately and walked to Harry’s bed. “We’ve been looking for you ... I was worried that whoever did this to Harry might still be around.”

It seemed impossible but Hermione’s heart fell even lower than where it was. She wanted to run, to hide, but she didn’t want to leave the spot where she could be near him without being in the hospital wing.

“Hey ...” Ron said quietly as he sat on his friend’s bed. He reached out to rub her back but Hermione flinched and pulled away. “Hermione ... we need to find who did this ...” His face fell and she could see the tears falling down his cheeks.

“I want to be alone.” She said adamantly.

“Hermione, we need to help each other so that we can help Harry ...” Ron’s voice cracked but Hermione found she didn’t really care.

“Leave.Me.Alone.With.Harry.” She said slowly. Ron reached out to her and she pulled away even further.

“Hermione, Harry’s in the hospital wing ...” He said with confusion. “I’m your boyfriend, Hermione, don’t shut me out ... I need you.”

She looked at him furiously. “You need me?” She growled at him. “Harry needed me and look what happened!” She got out of the bed and went to Harry’s trunk where she started to fish through his belongings.

“Hermione? What are you doing?” Ron asked bewildered.

“Harry’s going to need his things.” She said in a growl. “Here’s his broom.” She said quietly and set it gently on the bed as if it were made of the most fragile glass. She went back to her task and pulled out several articles of clothing and a few pictures. She found a shattered mirror at the bottom of the trunk and looked at it curiously. She picked it up and looked at the note attached to the back and her heart broke for what seemed to be the hundredth time that night.

“Oh, Harry ...” She said sadly. She carefully laid it with the other things and retrieved the pieces that had fallen from the frame.

“Hermione, he’s in a coma ...” Ron said evenly. He got to his feet and walked over to his girlfriend. She didn’t stop what she was doing and he pulled her to a standing position before he wrapped his arms around her. “Hermione, stop!”

She stood in shock for a moment before her shoulders began to shake. “Ron, forgive me ...” She said quietly with her head bowed.

“Why? What have you done?” He said in confusion. He held her at arm’s length and tried to catch her eye. “It’s not as if you pushed him from the astronomy tower ... So you have nothing to forgive me for.”

At his words, Hermione began to cry harder and before Ron knew what was happening she’d grabbed the pile of things she’d set on the bed and ran from the room.

“Hermione!” Ron called after her. She heard his footsteps but she didn’t stop. She ran blindly back to the hospital wing to find the curtains drawn around Harry’s bed.

“It’s ok.” Madam Pomfrey said reassuringly. “You can visit him now.” Hermione looked at the nurse and the woman nodded quietly. “He’s still unconscious but it’s a miracle that his physical trauma will heal fully ... Now we have to wait for his mind to follow suit.”

“What’s wrong with his mind?” Hermione asked with a shaky voice.

“At this point, if it were an accident, he could have very well regained consciousness. But he doesn’t seem to be fighting to remain alive.” Madam Pomfrey explained quietly. “It’s almost as if he’s given up.”

Hermione felt more tears streak down her face and she looked at the closed curtains.

“I’m sure if his friends talk to him he’ll find the strength to come back to us.” Dumbledore said quietly behind her.

Hermione turned to her headmaster and looked at him with sad eyes. “What if he doesn’t want to ...” She turned from the old wizard’s penetrating gaze. “What if he doesn’t want to hear me?” She hiccupped and found it hard to breathe.

“I’m sure that whatever his reasons were,” The old man explained quietly, “whatever they were, he wants to know that there are people here that love him and want to see him back with us ...”

What if he hates me?

Dumbledore rested a hand comfortingly on her shoulder and she jumped at the contact. “I’m sure that he would like to hear from you, Hermione. I think we both know that ...”

Hermione nodded slowly and turned to his bed. With slow, shaky steps, she inched closer and closer to the last and first place she wanted to be. She moved the curtains aside and stepped into the makeshift room. Without a word, Hermione set the photos she’d retrieved of the three of them on the bedside table and placed his cherished Firebolt under his arm. She found his shattered glasses and repaired them with a wave of her wand.

“Harry, I’m sorry ...” She said quietly. She looked at him fully for the first time since she’d found him in the bed and let out an anguished sob. He was still bruised from where he hit the ground and his face was purple and swollen. The potions that could remove these blemishes couldn’t be administered while he was unconscious for fear of them drowning him, though the potion drip that was attached to his arm would keep him nourished and replenish the blood he’d lost.

Hermione moved to the opposite side of the bed and took his hand again. It didn’t feel ice cold but not as warm as she had remembered it from their time in the room of requirement. She stifled a sob and began to rub it slowly.

“I’m so sorry, Harry ... I didn’t think ... I-I didn’t know ...” Her shoulders began to shake and she cried silently. Without another word, she climbed into the bed and pulled him into a gentle hug. She laid next to him for an untold amount of time, crying into his shoulder and holding on to him desperately. “Don’t give up, Harry, don’t leave me ... I love you, Harry ... Don’t leave me ...”

She whispered in his ear about how much she enjoyed spending time with him, how he could make her laugh, and how much she loved to see him smile. She gingerly cupped his face with her hand and kissed him gently from time to time before she would try to smooth his hair.

“Miss Granger ...” Madam Pomfrey said quietly before she opened the curtain. The nurse held back a sob at the sight of Hermione whispering quietly in Harry’s ear, every once in a while choking out a soft laugh at a private joke they had shared. “Miss Granger ...”

Hermione didn’t hear her name being called, the only thing she could focus on was the young man lying in front of her. She stroked his cheek lovingly and readjusted the blanket so that he could be warmer. She felt his weak, ragged breaths against her lips as she gave him a quick peck. She jumped when she felt Madam Pomfrey’s hand on her shoulder.

“Hermione, you need to get something to eat and some sleep.” She said quietly.

“I’m fine.” Hermione said absently.

“You need to keep your strength up and I need to change his bandages.”

“I’m not going to leave him again.” Hermione said quietly as she blinked away a new set of tears. “He shouldn’t be alone on Christmas.”

“I’ll be with him.” The nurse said reassuringly. “After you get something to eat and some sleep, you can come back.”

Hermione shook her head. “I’m not hungry.” She said adamantly, ignoring the protest of her stomach. She didn’t take her eyes off of Harry during the conversation and brought him back into a gentle hug. “He needs me.”

“He does need you.” The nurse said quietly. “Harry wouldn’t want you to get ill because you’re neglecting yourself.”

Hermione sighed. She’s right, isn’t she ... “Can I just sleep here? I’ll get something to eat, but can I stay?” She took one last look into his sleeping face and with pleading eyes met the gaze of Madam Pomfrey.

The nurse sighed quietly. “You can stay in the hospital wing, but not the same bed. You will get some sleep or I will be forced to remove you ...”

Hermione nodded slowly. “I’ll be right back.” She slid out of the bed gently and brushed Harry’s bangs from his forehead before planting a kiss on his scar. “I’ll be right back, Harry.” She whispered quietly. Hermione tightened her dressing gown and left the room without another word. She made her way to the Great Hall to find it quiet but not quite empty. With a sigh, she walked over to Ginny and sat down.

“I’m sorry, Ginny. I didn’t mean to take it out on you ...” Hermione said softly. She looked at the food-laden platters in front of her and her stomach seemed to take over her mind. With an almost mechanical motion, she started to fill her plate with scrambled eggs and before she knew what was happening, Ginny put a hand on her arm.

“Hermione, you don’t have to fill a plate for Harry.” She said gently.

Hermione looked at the place setting next to her and began to cry again. Ginny pulled her into a comforting hug wordlessly.

“I miss him, Ginny ...” Hermione sobbed. “I know that I just realized how much I love him, but I miss him so much ...”

Ginny stroked Hermione’s hair gently and made no attempt to hide her own grief. “I know, Hermione, I miss him too ... He’ll come out of it ...” The two girls held each other quietly for a few moments before Ginny pulled back and wiped her tears. “Now get some food in you, we’ve got to keep our strength up.”

Hermione nodded quietly and gave her friend a grateful smile. “I’m going to move into the hospital wing for a while.” She admitted quietly.

Ginny nodded and went back to eating.

Hermione turned to her plate. “I told him ...” She said quietly and a soft smile spread across her lips.

“Told him?” Ginny asked curiously.

Hermione’s smile faded and her lower lip trembled. “I told him I lo ... I love him.” She said choking back a sob.

Ginny pulled her into another hug just as Hermione’s shoulders began to shake with grief. “Shh, I’m sure he heard you ...” She cooed quietly to her friend. “He’s hearing everything we say ...”

“I hope so ...” Hermione said after a hiccup. She wiped her face with her napkin and let out a deep, trembling sigh. She couldn’t ignore her rumbling stomach and reluctantly began to eat. Hermione discovered that she was hungrier than she thought and after a fourth helping pushed her plate away from her.

“I’m going back to Harry.” She said quietly. “Could ... Could you bring me a set of clean underwear and pajamas?”

Ginny smiled at her reassuringly. “Sure. Want me to bring some of your books too? You could always read to him ... Maybe a little sleep learning will help pull his grades up?”

Hermione sputtered out a laugh and started to cry again. She couldn’t find her voice and just nodded quietly as she pulled Ginny into a tight hug. “Thank you.” She got out finally and left the Great Hall.

Within minutes, Hermione was beside Harry again, this time, she had Quidditch Through the Ages propped open in front of her and she was reading aloud. She’d finished the book and reached for another when Madam Pomfrey pulled the curtains back.

“Time for bed.” She said quietly but gave Hermione a stern look. “I don’t want any fuss out of you ...”

Hermione sighed and replaced the book on the bedside table. After climbing gently from the bed, she looked at the comatose form of Harry Potter and whispered quietly in his ear. “Good night, Harry. I’ll see you in the morning. Please don’t give up ...” She kissed him gently on the lips and ran her fingers through his hair. With a sigh of resignation she went to the next bed and climbed under the covers. She lay awake for a countless amount of time before her eyes fluttered closed for the last time and she fell fast asleep.

For the next week, Hermione had been allowed to stay in the hospital wing and spend as much time as she wanted with Harry. They’d made an exception in the visiting rules and allowed her to be present whenever anyone came by, seeing as she refused to leave except to bathe, eat, or change her clothes. Ron had been by quite often at first but after the first few days, his visits tapered off as he got ready for the coming days ahead.

“Hermione, you’re going to have to go back to your room tonight.” Dumbledore said quietly from the end of the bed. “Term starts tomorrow.”

“But I can’t leave him, Professor.” She said quietly. Hermione had reluctantly left his side to speak with the headmaster but her eyes never left his prone form. “He needs to know that I’m there for him, that I’ll always be there for him ...” That she couldn’t fathom leaving him alone was an understatement and those who knew where she was knew this fact quite well.

“I know it’s hard, Hermione.” He said gently. “But you can’t spend the rest of the term in the hospital wing.” Hermione tried to protest but he held up a hand. “We will be moving him to a spare room in Gryffindor tower and you can spend non-class time there. Do not forget that you are also a prefect and you have duties to perform.”

Tears welled in her eyes but she nodded quietly. “Can I stay in the room with him, Professor?” She knew she was getting her hopes up but had to ask despite what the answer would be.

Dumbledore smiled at her reassuringly. “I had a feeling you’d ask that question and as luck would have it, the spare room is actually a suite. You will not spend the night in his room.” He said sternly. “Your curfew is midnight.”

She looked at her professor with wide eyes. “I won’t be far from him?” She asked and she looked back to Harry with a slight smile before returning her gaze to the smiling Dumbledore.

“No, you won’t.” He grinned. “It’s admirable that you care so deeply for him, Hermione, and I know that you’re doing some good for Harry. We’ve already moved your things as well as Harry’s.”

Hermione nodded and made to return to Harry’s side but was held back by a gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at her headmaster and saw the great deal of compassion in his eyes.

“Please remember that there are a number of people who love him, Hermione.” He said gently. “Though not in the same way that you do. It’s nobody’s fault that he ended up in this condition, please remember that.”

Her eyes went wide and she felt the guilt she’d buried rise in her throat again as her eyes began to water.

“He’ll come back to us.” He said gently and with a comforting smile he turned and left the room.

Hermione stood in shock for a few moments wondering how he knew but her attention was drawn back to her friend and was soon lying beside him once more. She picked out another book and after clearing her throat smiled at the young man beside her.

“Now where were we? Ah ... The Goblin Rebellions of 1263, began when the outcast Bracktooth called for equality amongst all magical beings ...”

4. Best Friends

CHAPTER FOUR

Best Friends

“Harry! Go for the snitch, we can’t let Malfoy win!” Ron screamed from across the pitch. The game was neck and neck and Malfoy was rocketing into the sky like one of Fred and George’s new fireworks. Harry was already in a climb and his hand was stretched forward to catch the golden globe.

There was a collective gasp as Malfoy pulled his wand and banished Harry’s broom causing the up and coming Quidditch star to plummet to the ground.

“HAAAAARRRRRRYYYYYYY!” Ron shouted and left his post at the goals.

Harry miraculously pulled out of the dive and shot with tremendous speed to capture the snitch before Malfoy knew what had happened. Ron was so dumbstruck that he collided with Sloper and the two of them crashed to the pitch below.

“Ron! Ron, wake up!” Harry shook him gently. “Are you alright? That was a nasty hit that you and Jack took.”

Ron blinked his eyes and gazed in amazement at The-Boy-Who-Lived. “What in bloody hell was that, Harry?!” He barked in confusion. “Where do you get off being able to fly without a broom?!”

Harry blushed as he extended a hand to help his friend to his feet. “That’s only a recent development.” Harry said quietly. “Listen, I couldn’t let you lose to that git of a ferret but I’ve got to go.”

“What are you talking about, Harry?” Ron asked curiously. “WE JUST WON THE HOUSE CUP!!” Ron caught his friend in a bear hug and laughed triumphantly. Harry laughed and forced Ron to put him back down.

“Listen, Ron, I need you to really listen.” Harry said seriously.

Ron looked at him blankly and felt a terrible emptiness begin to fill his stomach. “Harry, what’s wrong, mate?”

“I can’t stay much longer, Ron, I know about you and Hermione.”

Ron blanched. “How?! I-I mean ... Harry ...”

Harry put up a hand to silence him. “Ron, don’t worry about it, I’m not going to be in the way.” He said seriously. “You have to promise me that you’ll watch over her and keep her safe.”

“Of course I will, Harry, but you’ll be here to do that too ...” Ron looked in Harry’s eyes and for the first time saw the depth of his sadness and pain. Ron’s eyes went wide and he went to put a hand on Harry’s shoulder but he fell short. “Harry, what’s wrong, mate? You can tell me ...”

“Ron, I’m going to miss you, you’ve been like a brother to me, you realize that, don’t you?” Harry said compassionately.

Ron felt tears start to sting his eyes. “Of course I do! You’re my best friend and it’s like you’ve always been in my family ... Harry, why are you telling me this?”

Harry smiled wanly and looked to the sky. “Because I have to go, Ron. I’ll tell my Dad about our Quidditch games, he played for Gryffindor too ...”

“Your Dad’s dead, Harry ... Are you going to visit their graves?”

Harry shook his head. “Take care of Hermione, Ron. I love you both ... I’ll tell Sirius you said hi ...”

* * *

“Ron! Ron, wake up!”

“Geroff, Ginny!” Ron said groggily. “I’m talking to Harry!”

“Ron ... Harry’s in the hospital wing!” Ginny cried frantically. “Get UP!” She pulled the blankets and caused Ron to spill out onto the cold stone floor. With a bang and a grunt, Ron got to his feet and crossed to his crying sister.

“WHAT IN THE BLOODY ...” He stopped when he realized what she’d said. “HARRY'S WHAT?!” Ron grabbed his robes and threw them on as he shot from the room at a full run. Without looking, he barreled through the portrait hole and slid painfully down several flights of stairs. He heard glass shatter in the distance and renewed his efforts to get to his destination.

Hagrid’s anguished sobs caused him to stumble and his heart shattered when he entered the white walled halls of the hospital wing. Hermione was sobbing uncontrollably next to his best friend, Dumbledore was collapsed in a chair and Hagrid, the strongest man he knew was wailing like a lost child on the floor.

Ron’s gaze finally settled on the prone form of his best friend just as his sister stepped up beside him. “HARRY!” Ron and Ginny cried in unison. Ginny collapsed on the spot and just shook her head in shock.

Ron was at the side of the bed and began to weep uncontrollably. “What happened? WHAT?! I’m going to kill whoever did this!”

MALFOY! IT HAD TO BE THAT BLOODY FERRET MALFOY!

Hermione glanced at Ron and began to weep anew.

“I’m sorry, but you’re all going to have to leave.” Madam Pomfrey said quietly. “I need to examine him to see how extensive the damage is.”

“I’m not going.” Hermione and Ron said in unison.

“You’ll have to.” The nurse said compassionately. “As soon as I’m finished I’ll let you in, but it will only be one at a time.”

“Why isn’t he breathing?” Hermione asked quietly. She had found the strength to stand but the flow of her tears could not be stemmed.

“He’s alive, but barely.” The nurse said quietly. “His body is trying to cope with what’s happened, by all accounts, he shouldn’t ...”

Hermione shook her head. “He can’t be dead ...” She choked over a sob. “He shouldn’t be ...” She covered her face and ran from the room.

“Hermione!” Ginny called after her. She didn’t stop running and Ginny looked back sadly. “I’m going to go after her ...” She looked at Harry and let held back a wave of tears. “I’ll be back.” With that, Ginny left the room at a run.

“Why? I mean I know there are people who want to kill him, but who here?” Ron set a trembling hand on Harry’s shoulder but jerked it back quickly and wiped the tears from his face instead.

Malfoy.is.dead. Ron said evenly to himself and his face hardened as he looked at his best friend.

“There is no evidence of foul play, headmaster.” An irritatingly familiar voice said quietly behind him. Ron spun and scowled at the greasy-haired, overgrown bat that was his potions professor.

“OH! AND I ASSUME THAT YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!?” Ron bellowed at the top of his lungs. “I WOULDN’T PUT IT PAST YOU TO ...”

“Hold your tongue, Weasley!” Snape sneered in anger. The look in his eyes gave Ron pause and he flinched involuntarily at a sudden movement. Snape pulled a vial from his robes and handed it to the nurse. “I believe this should repair the damage he’s sustained.”

“Thank you, Severus.” Dumbledore said wearily. “Why don’t we let Madam Pomfrey get to work? I’m sure we all are troubled by tonight’s events.” He stepped behind Ron who was scowling at the man who had saddled Harry with most of his troubles at the school. “Come along, Ron, there’s no sense in fighting amongst ourselves. I believe our young Miss Granger is in need of comforting ...”

At the mention of Hermione’s name, Ron quickly settled down and nodded glumly. “She talked to him last night before we went to bed ...” Ron sighed. “He didn’t come to the room and I thought he was up waiting for midnight to come around like he usually does on Christmas ...” Ron choked back a sob ... “I didn’t know ...”

“Come along, Ron.” Dumbledore said quietly. “Why don’t we go for some hot cocoa? It usually helps me when I need a bit of a lift ...”

Ron nodded sadly and followed the old wizard out of the hospital wing. They stopped just outside the door where the headmaster waved his wand and repaired the shattered glass. He stiffened when a hand settled on his shoulder and he shrugged it off as he spun around.

“Mr. Weasley ... Ron ...” Snape said in a barely audible voice. “I didn’t have anything to do with this. I would never willingly hurt a student, even one as infuriating as Potter.”

Ron took a step back at the sadness that was reflected in the man’s eyes but it lasted for a moment.

“It’s important that you watch after your friends, Mr. Weasley.” He said in is more uncaring tone and nearly glided down the hall towards the dungeons with his cloak flowing behind him.

Ron stood dumbstruck wondering if he’d actually imagined that uncharacteristic exchange with Snape. “Wha?”

“There are more people who are affected by what’s happened than you know, Ron.” Dumbledore said quietly behind him. “Let’s go get that hot cocoa, shall we?”

Ron turned unblinkingly and followed the headmaster of Hogwarts without a sound, they soon found themselves standing in front of an all too familiar portrait of a bowl of fruit and the aged wizard gently tickled the pear.

With a soft fit of giggles, the pear jiggled slightly and the portrait swung open to reveal the entrance to the kitchens. The two of them stepped inside to a sight that broke both of their hearts.

Dobby was sobbing uncontrollably at the table and was holding a bottle of butterbeer in his hands. “Oh, mishter Harry Potter ... Sho great, why? Why ish he alwaysh the tar*hic*arget of him?” The drunken house elf took an exaggerated swig from the bottle and drained the rest of the contents. When he realized that it was empty, he threw it across the room and went back to sobbing in his arms.

Winky walked up nervously and tugged on Dumbledore’s robes gently. “I am being sorry, Master Dumbledore, sir, but Dobby is being busy ... Am I being of help, Master Dumbledore, sir?”

Ron walked over to the pitiful form of Dobby and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “He’s going to be ok, Dobby.”

Dobby looked up at the red-headed young man with blood-shot, teary eyes. “Mishter Weazshy, shir ...” He hugged Ron around the waist and broke into a melodramatic fit of crying. Ron looked up at the headmaster and not knowing what else to do, patted the small creature on the back.

“Winky, could you get us two mugs of hot cocoa, please?” Dumbledore asked with a kindly smile.

“Will you be wanting your normal sugar cookies with that, Master Dumbledore, sir?” She asked nervously.

The old man smiled again and nodded. “That would be wonderful, Winky. Oh, and a little something to help sober Dobby up?”

Winky nodded and went about her duties. After a few minutes she returned with a plate of cookies and three mugs. She handed one to Dobby and had him drink it down. Within seconds, smoke belched from his ears, nostrils, and mouth followed by the sharp smell of lilacs and mint. With a peep of surprise, Dobby’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell to the table with a thud.

“What was that?” Ron asked with wide eyes. “Is he going to be ok?”

Dumbledore let out a soft chuckle. “It was just herbal tea with a bit of hangover potion in it, Ron.” He took a sip of his warm, chocolaty beverage. “House elves can’t drink too much of it in any type of concentrated form. It makes them hyper. But when mixed with herbal tea, lilac and mint to be exact, it acts like a sobering dreamless sleep draught.”

Ron nodded with a slight smile. “I’d hate to see Dobby hyper.”

The two men and the sleeping Dobby sat quietly at the table drinking their beverage and munching on the delicious cookies.

“Sir, do you know who could have done this to Harry?” Ron asked quietly.

“That, Ron, is something that Harry will have to explain.” The headmaster replied quietly. “As you heard, Professor Snape found no evidence of a struggle ...”

Ron shook his head. “It’s strange ... I was dreaming that Harry and I were playing Quidditch and won the house cup ... But then it turned weird.”

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow and gazed at the young red-head over his half-moon spectacles. “How so?”

“Well, he told me that he had to go and to watch over Hermione ...” Ron wiped a tear that had somehow found its way to his cheek. “He said he knew about Hermione and me dating ... I never told him that ...”

Dumbledore nodded quietly and looked deep in thought. Ron looked at him and decided that was a cue to continue.

“After that he told me he was going to tell his Dad about our games, but his parents are dead, professor ... He told me that he’d say hi to Sirius for me ...” More tears had started to trickle down his face and it became futile to try and wipe them all away. “He said he loved me, he’s never told me that before ... Sir, what does it mean? It was just a dream, right?”

Ron looked to the man who was sitting across from him and noticed the tears that were streaking down his withered cheeks. He noticed that his young charge had stopped speaking and quickly wiped his face and cleared his throat.

“Sometimes, dreams are a way for us to deal with those things that we’re afraid to face when we’re awake.” He explained softly. “Other times they’re a means for our loved ones to send us messages, to let us know they’ll be fine.” He stopped for a moment and Ron couldn’t help anticipating the next part of the explanation. He fought against the building grief and cleared his throat. “Other times ... Other times it’s a way for those who have died to comfort us ... Let’s just hope that it isn’t the latter two.”

Ron nodded dumbly and felt his lower lip start to tremble. Not wanting to show any further weakness and wanting to be with Hermione he cleared his throat and excused himself. “There has to be someone behind this, sir.” Ron choked out. “Maybe they did it from a broom or something ... but I’m going to find him and make him pay.”

Dumbledore looked to the young man and sighed at the anger reflected in his eyes. “Ron, let’s not jump to any false accusations or wrong assumptions, we’ll know what happened when Harry regains consciousness.”

Ron nodded slightly and grunted in response. “Goodnight, sir.” He said quietly and left the kitchen.

Like bloody hell! Someone did this to him and I’m going to find out who and kill the bastard!

Ron went to the one place he knew that Hermione found comfort whenever she was troubled and found the library deserted. “Hermione? Are you there?” He called out, hoping that she was just hiding. When no answer came he felt a pang of fear and pulled out his wand. With a desperate stride he began a search of the castle, looking in any place that he thought Hermione might go. She wasn’t in the Transfiguration classroom or the Charms classroom. The dungeons was out of the question unless some bloody Slytherin dragged her down there. He checked the Room of Requirement and found a room that was empty of everything but photos of Hermione.

Stupid room of requirement! He cursed. I’m looking for Hermione and the bloody room shows me photos of her ... With a tired sigh he made his way to the Gryffindor common room. The fat lady looked at him sympathetically when he arrived.

“I’m so sorry to hear the news, dear.” She said with a tired but comforting voice. “Hermione and your sister are already inside, no need for a password, go on in and get some rest, dear...”

Ron sighed in relief. “She’s already back ...” He wiped at the tears that threatened to spill forth again and he climbed through the opening into the common room. Ginny was fast asleep on the sofa in front of the fire and Ron pulled the blanket from the back of it and covered her with the warm wool cloth.

He sat on the floor and stroked her hair gently. I’m sorry you didn’t get the chance to date yet, Gin ... You shouldn’t have to go through this ... Ron fought back a sob and rose quietly, looking sadly at his sister’s tear stained face. With a sigh, he made his way up the stairs to his dormitory.

Ron reached the top of the tower and looked at the door that he and his best friend had gone through hundreds of times, remembering the laughter and friendship, Ron found that he couldn’t hold back the flood of tears that he had been hiding from everyone else. As his shoulders shook in grief, he opened the door and stepped into the room. He heard someone let out a shuddering sob and he whipped his wand around and pointed it into the darkness. “Who’s there?!” He growled ferociously.

“It’s me.” A shaking voice said quietly from his best friend’s bed.

“Hermione?” He relaxed immediately and walked to Harry’s bed. “We’ve been looking for you ... I was worried that whoever did this to Harry might still be around.”

Hermione clutched at Harry’s pillow and started to shake as her body was wracked with sobs.

“Hey ...” Ron said quietly as he sat on his friend’s bed. He reached out to rub her back but Hermione flinched and pulled away. “Hermione ... we need to find who did this ...” His face fell and she could see the tears falling down his cheeks.

“I want to be alone.” She said adamantly.

“Hermione, we need to help each other so that we can help Harry ...” Ron’s voice cracked at the memory of Harry laying in the hospital wing’s bed.

“Leave.Me.Alone.With.Harry.” She said slowly. Ron reached out to her and she pulled away even further.

“Hermione, Harry’s in the hospital wing ...” He said with confusion. “I’m your boyfriend, Hermione, don’t shut me out ... I need you.”

She looked at him furiously. “You need me?” She growled at him. “Harry needed me and look what happened!” She got out of the bed and went to Harry’s trunk where she started to fish through his belongings.

“Hermione? What are you doing?” Ron asked bewildered.

“Harry’s going to need his things.” She said in a growl. “Here’s his broom.” She said quietly and set it gently on the bed as if it were made of the most fragile glass. She went back to her task and pulled out several articles of clothing and a few pictures. She found a shattered mirror at the bottom of the trunk and looked at it curiously. She picked it up and looked at the note attached to the back. “Oh, Harry ...” She said sadly. She carefully laid it with the other things and retrieved the pieces that had fallen from the frame.

“Hermione, he’s in a coma ...” Ron said evenly. He got to his feet and walked over to his girlfriend. She didn’t stop what she was doing and he pulled her to a standing position before he wrapped his arms around her. “Hermione, stop!”

She stood stiffly in his arms and didn’t return his embrace when her shoulders began to shake. “Ron, forgive me ...” She said quietly with her head bowed.

“Why? What have you done?” He said in confusion. He held her at arm’s length and tried to catch her eye. “It’s not as if you pushed him from the astronomy tower ... So you have nothing to forgive me for.”

At his words, Hermione began to cry harder and before Ron knew what was happening she’d grabbed the pile of things she’d set on the bed and ran from the room.

“Hermione!” Ron called after her. He knew that she was upset but he felt strange when she didn’t return his hug and kept flinching away from him. Ron followed her out the door and made it to the common room. Ginny was sitting up with a confused look on her face.

“Ron? What’s going on?” She asked quietly.

“Hermione’s really been hit hard ...” Ron said quietly. “I need to talk to her.” He turned to leave but felt Ginny’s hand on his arm.

“Don’t, Ron.” She said sternly. “Let her have some space, she’s not taking this too well.”

Ron looked to his sister. “Did she say anything?”

Ginny looked at him and sighed. “She needs to be there for Harry right now, Ron ... Just give her some space.”

Ron felt a pang of jealousy grip his heart but after a moment nodded in defeat. “Ok.” He said quietly. “If anything happens, I’ll be in my room ...”

Ginny pulled her brother into a tight hug. “He’ll be ok, Ron, he’ll be ok.” She whispered through her tears. Ron hugged her back and nodded quietly.

“I know, Gin. Get some more sleep, I’ll see you at breakfast, ok?”

Ginny nodded and gave him a peck on his cheek. “Thanks for the blanket, Ron.” She said quietly and went back to the sofa. Ron smiled softly and went back to his room. He laid down and fell asleep within minutes.

A few hours later, Ron woke to a bright, sunny Christmas. At the foot of his bed was a large pile of gifts. He looked over to Harry’s and found that he had gotten the same, few presents he got every year. One from him, another from Hermione, and the standard Weasley jumper. Tears formed in his eyes again and he didn’t feel like opening anything this year. With a shuddering sigh, he got dressed and headed to the Great Hall for breakfast.

As he walked through the doors, he saw Hermione spooning eggs on to two plates and smiled happily.

She’s coming back around. He thought happily. This is the first time she’s fixed me a plate before I got here ...

He ran his fingers through his hair and walked up to two of the women in his life and stopped in his tracks. Ginny put a hand on Hermione’s arm. The two girls hugged each other and their crying broke his heart. He remembered what Ginny had said and went to leave but he saw them talking. After a moment, he thought it would be best to talk to Hermione and let her know that he was there for her.

He started walking towards them but then caught the tail end of their conversation.

Hermione turned to her plate. “I told him ...” She said quietly and a soft smile spread across her lips.

“Told him?” Ginny asked curiously.

Hermione’s smile faded and her lower lip trembled. “I told him I lo ... I love him.” She said choking back a sob.

Hermione’s never told me she ... Ron’s eyes went wide and he felt a massive anger build in him. SHE LOVES HARRY?! Ron looked at his girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend, and saw her start crying again. He couldn’t look at her anymore and stormed from the Great Hall.

With angry determination he made his way to the hospital wing. When? How long? Why didn’t she tell me? Ron lost himself in his anger when a memory surfaced. Ron was disoriented, but he saw Harry kneel beside Hermione at the Department of Mysteries. He stopped in his tracks as more scenes flashed before his eyes. Harry grabbed Hermione’s robes and pulled her into a run as prophecies were falling from the shelves ... The kiss on the cheek at the end of fifth year ... The stories in the Daily Prophet ... Their trip in the past to save Sirius ... Hermione rushing to Harry’s side at Grimmauld place, snow still in her hair ... The way she looked at him when he wasn’t looking ... The way they finished each other’s sentences ...

Ron hung his shoulders in defeat ... Why didn’t I see this? He shook his head with guilt ... She’s always loved him ...

Ron looked up to see the door to the hospital wing open and Hagrid step into the hall. He didn’t look any better than last night and nearly ran Ron over.

“Oh, sorry, Ron.” He said gruffly. “I didn’ see yeh ...”

Ron put a hand on the half-giant’s arm and cleared his throat. “It’s ok, Hagrid, how’s he doing?”

Hagrid let out a mournful sob and covered his face with a large handkerchief. “’E’s still out cold ... Why did ‘e do it?”

“Who? Who did this, Hagrid?!” Ron growled angrily.

Hagrid looked at Ron with compassion and wiped his face. “Yeh didn’ know?” He choked out between sobs. “’E jumped, Ron ... ‘Arry jumped!” Hagrid couldn’t handle his emotions and hurried away in tears.

Ron’s jaw was still opening and closing like a guppy out of water. His mouth became painfully dry and he found himself walking to Harry’s bed. He moved the curtains aside and looked at his comatose form and let out an anguished cry. “YOU JUMPED?! WHY?!” Ron fell to his knees at the side of the bed and buried his face in Harry’s chest. “Why would you do that, Harry?! Why?!” He cried for a long time and after a while calmed a bit. Ron looked to his best friend and sighed miserably.

“I know that Hermione loves you, mate ... I didn’t see it before ...” He sniffed and wiped is eyes. “Listen, you better wake up and come back to her, Harry, she needs you ... I need you, we all do. I won’t stand in your way, mate, she’s your girl now. I should have seen it earlier but I was too wrapped up in what I wanted ... I’m sorry I kept her from you, please come back ...”

He suddenly noticed the pile of books and the freshly folded clothes on the bedside table and chair. With a sniff, he got to his feet and looked down at Harry. “I’ll come again, Harry ... I just need some time to get over Hermione, ok? You better come back or I’ll get Trelawney to hold a séance and force you back!” Ron choked out a tearful laugh. “Imagine it’d take me ages to get her to do it with her track record, huh?”

Wiping the tears from his eyes, Ron left the hospital wing quietly, his anger spent. If nobody pushed him ... then why?

5. The Pit of Despair

CHAPTER FIVE

The Pit of Despair

Harry Potter stood and brushed the snow from his robes. “That didn’t even hurt ...” He said in quiet disbelief. After readjusting his glasses he looked around at the snow covered school grounds. He could hear the parties going on in the castle above him and the thought of Hermione and Ron sharing the warm fire in the Gryffindor common room made his heart sink.

“Wait, why isn’t it cold?” He pressed his warm hands against his face and looked at them dumbly. An unfelt breeze blew a scrap of parchment across the field of white in front of him and he didn’t feel its chill bite. “I ... I’m ...” His eyes widened and he looked behind him.

What he saw caused his knees to buckle and he didn’t feel the cold wetness that normally accompanies the fluffy powder that he fell in. Lying in a broken, bloody heap at the base of the astronomy tower was his body. The wind had already started to change the moistness around his eyes and mouth to a clear, white frost and as the blood left the gaping wound in his skull, his skin was turning an icy blue.

A hand rested on his shoulder and he spun in surprise.

“Why did you do that, Harry?” Sirius asked quietly, the sadness evident in his eyes. “Why’d you go and jump?”

“S-Sirius?” Tears were falling from Harry’s wide eyes at the vision before him. He pulled off his glasses and rubbed furiously at his moistened face. Harry replaced his black rimmed spectacles and stared dumbfounded at his godfather.

“It’s me, Harry.” He said with a slightly lopsided smile. “But you shouldn’t be here yet.”

Harry closed the distance between them in an instant and pulled Sirius Black into a bone-crushing hug. “I thought I’d never see you again!” He laughed. “Are Mum and Dad here too?”

Sirius returned the hug from the young man then pushed him back gently. “Harry, do you realize what you’ve just done?”

Harry looked back to his crumpled, discarded shell. Then back to his godfather. “I’ve come to stay with the people who love me.” He said matter-of-factly. “Nobody here does.”

For the first time since Harry met him those three years ago, Sirius’s temper got the best of him. “WHAT?! NOBODY LOVES YOU?!” He bellowed with a rage that had Harry back on his heels. “WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK HERMIONE FEELS?! WHAT ABOUT RON?!”

Despite the fear that Harry felt with the sudden outburst, his own temper shot through the roof at the mention of his two ex-friends. “IF HERMIONE LOVED ME SO MUCH, WHY’D SHE TURN AWAY FROM ME FOR RON?!” He retorted with unbridled passion. “SNEAKING AROUND BEHIND MY BACK?! IS THAT ANY WAY TO SHOW LOVE?!”

Sirius’ temper faded and he looked upon Harry with pity. “Things aren’t always that cut and dry, Harry, and you know that.”

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” Harry fumed.

“Look what everyone thought about me.” Sirius said seriously. “Even you thought I killed Lily and James ... But after you stopped to listen and heard the truth ...”

Harry calmed down instantly and turned his back on the man who had once brought him more hope than he’d ever felt in his life.

“Hermione and Ron love you more than you realize, Harry.” Sirius said quietly. “You were selfish to throw your life away like this. Do you even realize how many people you’ve hurt tonight?”

Harry didn’t turn around but waved his hand at the lighted windows of the castle. “Do you see anyone hurrying out to see where I am?” He asked pointedly. “Do you see anyone who cares about me for me and not some weapon to save them from Voldemort?” He added bitterly. “All I am to these people is The-Boy-Who-Lived! The boy who defeated The Dark Lord when he was a baby. THE BOY WHO WILL SAVE THEM AGAIN!” Without another word he stalked off towards the front of the castle.

“Harry, you know that’s a lie!” Sirius called after him. “You know that you have friends that look past the scar!”

Harry ignored the pleas and kept going until he reached the Whomping Willow. He glanced at the many dormant branches that at one time thrashed a blue Ford Anglia to near smithereens and remembered that he’d been afraid to die. With a shake of his head, Harry Potter disappeared down the hole that would take him to the Shrieking Shack.

“There’s no place to go, Mr. Potter.” An old man said calmly from the expanse of tunnel behind him.

Harry spun on the intruder and narrowed his eyes. “Who are you?” He asked dangerously and went for his wand. He didn’t feel the comforting presence of his precious instrument and growled menacingly at the man in front of him.

The old man smiled gently and kept his distance. “Some have called me the father of our kind. Others have referred to me as the tamer of the Dragon. I’ve been called Taliesin, the lost child of Atlantis and the rightful heir to Lyonesse. But, most fables and books refer to me simply as Merlin.”

Harry’s eyes went wide for a moment then returned to their narrowed slits. “What proof do I have that you’re who you say you are?” He asked suspiciously. “For all I know you could be a trick or a figment of my imagination!”

Merlin smiled in amusement. “It seems that a good deal of Hermione Granger has indeed rubbed off on you, my young charge.”

“Young Charge?” Harry asked incredulously. “Since when have you been my guardian?”

“Oh, not guardian, Harry, you’ve many friends and relatives to do that.” Merlin laughed softly. “I’m here for a different purpose.”

“And that is?” Harry said hotly.

“I’m here to train you.” The old wizard said simply.

“Train me? You’re out of your ruddy mind!” Harry responded angrily. “If you hadn’t noticed, I’m dead!”

Merlin laughed again and waved the statement away as if it were an irritating child being shooed away. “That’s but a temporary condition, my friend.” He looked at Harry seriously and seemed to grow in size. Harry felt himself cower before the countenance that was indeed the greatest wizard that had ever lived. “You will train, Mr. Potter. Your mind, your soul, your very essence will be mine to guide until I deem you are fit to return to your physical body.”

Harry’s courage returned to him when his anger boiled forth. “And what if I refuse?” He said evenly, his voice dripping with venom.

Merlin grabbed the cocky youth by his collar and growled fiercely. “This.”

Harry found himself standing upon the precipice of a pit that stretched into eternity. Along the walls were people crying in agony and shrieking for mercy. There was a green glow that surrounded the entire place and a growing sense of dread and desperation began to fill his heart. The tortured souls reached for him and started tugging at his robes followed by grief stricken sobs of remorse and gasps for help.

“GET OFF OF ME!” Harry screamed in terror. He swatted at the hands that had begun pulling him towards the pit but they were stronger than he was. With wide eyes, his feet started slipping and he tried to backpedal but the force was too strong.

“BEHOLD THE PIT OF DESPAIR!” Merlin bellowed behind him. “Every soul who has passed into the afterlife for selfish reasons has ended up here.” He explained softly in Harry’s terrified ear.

Harry reached to grab hold of the wizard. “HELP ME! I CAN’T ... I’M NOT STRONG ENOUGH!” His hands fell through empty air and he fell to his stomach. Strong arms grabbed his ankles and he dug his fingers into the earth in a desperate attempt to stay away from the edge.

“No soul is strong enough to fight against his own sins, Mr. Potter.” Merlin said distastefully from above him. “You can yet be saved from this fate ...”

Harry’s legs slipped over the edge and he could feel ... everything. His flesh seemed to catch fire and at the same time were numbingly cold. Boils erupted across his skin and a maddening itch followed in their wake. Festering wounds flared to life and when he looked down he screamed in pure, unbridled fear when he saw the maggots and larvae of countless insects burrowing into his flesh.

“Take my hand and you’ll be free, Harry.”

His attention snapped to the woman bending over him. Fresh tears were rippling down her cheeks and her outstretched hand beckoned to him. He looked into the face of his rescuer and met the gaze of the green eyes that he shared. Lily Potter’s auburn hair cascaded over her shoulders as she bent to him with a life-saving smile.

Harry reached for his mother’s hand and screamed in agony as they transformed to talons then shredded his hand to ribbons. Gone was her loving face and in its place was the maniacal grin of what could only be called a demon.

“You’re going to be a fun one to play with ...” He growled in ecstasy. “I love breaking in new arrivals.”

“I’LL DO IT! I’LL TRAIN!” Harry closed his eyes and screamed as loudly as he could. He felt the ground give away and he fell. Instinctively he wrapped his head in his arms and screamed like he’d never screamed before but suddenly realized that the voice that was screaming wasn’t his own.

Harry opened his eyes and found himself lying in the snow in front of the school. With a shudder of relief he checked himself over and realized that he’d imagined the grotesque state of his body. With an anxious glance, he stood to find that he was not at the edge of the Pit of Despair and smiled. He looked towards the castle and went for the doors but the hulking form of Hagrid caught his attention.

“’Arry! Oh, ‘Arry! Say it ain’t so!” The half-giant rose to his feet and cradled something in his arms. “Wha’ happened, ‘Arry?” He sobbed and ran as gently as he could to the front doors. Harry grimaced when he saw his unmoving body clutched in Hagrid’s arms like a small baby.

“Hagrid!” He called after his large friend but Hagrid didn’t hear him. His first wizarding world friend ran down the main hall shouting for help and bolted up the stairs to the hospital wing. Harry started after him but the hand on his shoulder stopped the young man in his tracks.

“That’s not your concern right now.” Sirius said sadly. “It’s not a good idea to see them grieve over you, Harry.”

Harry shrugged out from under his godfather’s hand. “I need to let them know that I’m alright.” Harry said urgently. “If I’m going to train to fight Voldemort they need to know I’m going to come back.”

“You have but a few minutes, Harry.” Merlin said quietly from his right. “Go to your friends, you’ll know when your time is up.”

Harry nodded and immediately ran into the castle. He was running as fast as he could up the staircases to the entrance to his house’s tower and could feel the time ticking away.

“I won’t make it in time!” He growled angrily when something dawned on him. With a desperate plan firmly crawling from the pits of his mind, Harry closed his eyes and concentrated on Hermione. Within a few heartbeats he found himself standing in what was obviously one of the rooms in the girl’s dormitory. More to the point, he was standing in front of a particular bed that held the most wonderful sight he could remember. Hermione was sleeping soundly and he smiled at the disarray her hair was in as cascaded softly over her pillow. She had a serene look on her face and his heart broke as he remembered that this beautiful young woman had rejected his love. He shook his head after he realized his time was running short and bent down to her exposed ear. “Psst. Hey, Hermione!”

“Hmm? Harry?”

“Aren’t you going to open your eyes?”

Hermione opened her eyes and looked up. She saw Harry sitting quietly on the edge of her bed smiling at her.

“Harry? How’d you get into the girl’s dormitory?”

He smiled at her and ran his cupped hand over her cheek lovingly. “I flew in through the window.” He said with a grin.

“Harry, you know you can’t be up here, if McGonagall catches you ...”

“Don’t worry, Hermione, I’ll be fine.” He said softly. Hermione looked into his eyes and he stiffened. She sat up and took his face in her soft hands and pulled him in for a kiss. With a lump of sadness settling firmly in his stomach, Harry pulled away from the tempting situation.

“Harry?”

He looked at her sadly. “I’m sorry, Hermione, but I’ve got to go ...”

“What? Why do you have to go?” She asked curiously. “There’s nobody else here and Ginny sleeps like a log.”

Harry laughed quietly. “I know she does, it seems she’s inherited the same snoring gene that Ron has ...” His smile faded and he tried to explain just how much he loved her though his gaze. “Watch over Ron and Ginny for me?” He asked simply.

“What?” Hermione’s face was blanketed in confusion. “Harry come over here and tell me what you’re talking about!”

“Harry ... You’re running out of time ...” A familiar voice echoed from somewhere outside.

He smiled at her longingly but shook his head. “I have to go now. Mum’s calling me.” He looked out the window to the twinkling Dog Star that was still visible. “I’ll tell Sirius you said hi.”

“Harry! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” Hermione shouted fearfully. He saw her try to get out of bed but he willed her to remain where she was.

“Just remember that I love you, Hermione, I always will.” He said softly and faded from sight.

He opened his eyes again and found himself straddling his trusty Firebolt. He shook his head and grinned. “It seems that Ron even dreams about Quidditch.” He barked out a laugh and turned to find his red-headed friend when a bolt of green and silver shot past him in a fast climb.

“Harry! Go for the snitch, we can’t let Malfoy win!” Ron screamed from across the pitch.

Harry glanced at the scoreboard and smiled widely at the tied score. He followed Malfoy’s path and caught sight of the elusive golden ball that seemed to be taunting him to catch it.

“Well, one last game can’t hurt, can it?” Harry shot into a climb and his hand was stretched forward to catch the snitch as he pulled up next to his nemesis.

There was a collective gasp as Malfoy pulled his wand and banished Harry’s broom causing the up and coming Quidditch star to plummet to the ground.

“HAAAAARRRRRRYYYYYYY!” Ron shouted and left his post at the goals.

Harry grinned and decided that he wasn’t going to let the prince of Slytherin win quite so easily and concentrated. He miraculously pulled out of the dive and shot with tremendous speed to capture the snitch before Malfoy knew what had happened.

Holding the struggling ball in his hand, Harry looked down at Ron with a grin. Just as their eyes met Harry watched as the lanky Weasley collided with Sloper and the two of them crashed to the pitch below.

Harry blanched and shot to the ground in the blink of an eye. With just a few, quick strides, he found himself kneeling next to his unconscious friend. “Ron! Ron, wake up!” Harry shook him gently. “Are you alright? That was a nasty hit that you and Jack took.”

Ron blinked his eyes and gazed in amazement at The-Boy-Who-Lived. “What in bloody hell was that, Harry?!” He barked in confusion. “Where do you get off being able to fly without a broom?!”

Harry blushed as he extended a hand to help his friend to his feet. “That’s only a recent development.” Harry said quietly. “Listen, I couldn’t let you lose to that git of a ferret but I’ve got to go.”

“What are you talking about, Harry?” Ron asked curiously. “WE JUST WON THE HOUSE CUP!!” Ron caught him in a bear hug and laughed triumphantly. Harry laughed and forced Ron to put him back down.

“Listen, Ron, I need you to really listen.” Harry said seriously.

Ron looked at him blankly. “Harry, what’s wrong, mate?”

“I can’t stay much longer, Ron, I know about you and Hermione.”

Ron blanched. “How?! I-I mean ... Harry ...”

Harry put up a hand to silence him. “Ron, don’t worry about it, I’m not going to be in the way.” He said seriously. “You have to promise me that you’ll watch over her and keep her safe.”

“Of course I will, Harry, but you’ll be here to do that too ...” Ron looked in Harry’s eyes then his went wide. Ron tried to put a hand on Harry’s shoulder but he fell short. “Harry, what’s wrong, mate? You can tell me ...”

“Ron, I’m going to miss you, you’ve been like a brother to me, you realize that, don’t you?” Harry said compassionately.

Ron blinked furiously for a moment. “Of course I do! You’re my best friend and it’s like you’ve always been in my family ... Harry, why are you telling me this?”

Harry smiled wanly and looked to the sky. “Because I have to go, Ron. I’ll tell my Dad about our Quidditch games, he played for Gryffindor too ...”

“Your Dad’s dead, Harry ... Are you going to visit their graves?”

Harry shook his head. “Take care of Hermione, Ron. I love you both ... I’ll tell Sirius you said hi ...”

Harry felt a pull and he knew it was time to leave. Within a few moments, he found himself standing outside the castle again but he was far from alone.

“Harry!” He was bowled over by an embrace that he’d only felt when Mrs. Weasley had hugged him and the face full of auburn hair brought tears to his eyes.

“Mum!” He cried as he returned the tight hug and felt her shake with laughter and tears in his arms.

“You’re here much too soon, Harry!”

Harry looked up and through his tear-filled eyes he saw the half-blurred form of his father smiling at him. “Dad!” Within seconds, the three Potters were in their first group hug in fifteen years. When they broke apart it was all Harry could do to keep from breaking down.

“I never thought I’d see you again.” He choked out. He looked at the lone figure standing to the side and without another word closed the distance and hugged Sirius to him in a manly embrace. “I’m sorry I reacted the way I did, Sirius.” He said with a sigh.

“Crossing over does that to people, Harry.” Sirius said with a quiet chuckle. “You should have seen how I reacted when James pranked me when I arrived.”

Harry looked to his father who scratched his head and had an enormous grin on his face.

“Here I was fighting Bellatrix when she casts a simple stunning hex my way.” Sirius said with a laugh. “When the curse wore off, I found myself dressed as a clown hanging upside down in a tree ...”

“It was one of my more brilliant plans ...” James said with a laugh. “Just try to find a squeaky nose in the afterlife ... not an easy task by any means!”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh at the mental image this all brought up. He looked to his mother who wasn’t laughing with everyone else but was looking at the ground sadly. She wasn’t just looking at the ground, but the spot where his body had lain just a short while ago.

He walked up to her quietly and pulled her into a hug.

“Why did you do it, Harry?” She asked quietly. “You know Hermione loves you, don’t you?”

Harry sighed. He didn’t want to get into that particular argument again and he just shrugged. “She was quick to turn me down and go back to Ron.” He said quietly. “I took that as Hermione seeing me as nothing more than a friend ...”

Lily Potter pulled back and shook her head. “You’re as bright as your father, Harry. And let me tell you, he was blind when it came to me like you are with Hermione.” Harry looked at her in confusion.

“Harry, it’s time to go.” Merlin stepped forward and gently took his arm. “It’s not going to be an easy time, lad, but you’ll be better prepared when you’re finished.”

Harry looked to the old wizard pleadingly but the stern look he received ended his thoughts of staying any longer. With a quick kiss and hug from his parents and a hug from Sirius, Harry found himself tumbling through a tunnel of swirling colors and deafening winds. He landed with a thud in a large meadow that he didn’t recognize and with a quick glance around, got to his feet.

6. Finding the Courage to Return

CHAPTER SIX

Finding the Courage to Return

Harry looked around the empty landscape of the wide plain that he’d found himself on. He brushed off his robes and looked to the pale, blue sky and wondered just what he’d gotten himself into.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” A woman said from beside him.

Harry jumped at the sudden break in silence and looked at the woman who was standing next to him. She held herself regally, a look of amazement and wonder on her face as if she had just discovered something new that had never been seen before. Her steel gray eyes scanned the heavens with warmth that bespoke of a long love that was just at the tip of her fingers. Her long, black hair was wrapped in a fine mesh of silver netting that had small images of ravens at various interconnected links.

“Rowena Ravenclaw?” Harry whispered with wide eyes.

“Well, we can see that your mind is sharp, Harry Potter.” She said with a lilting laugh.

“Where’s Merlin?”

“You’ll work your way up to him, child, for now you will be learning the magic you’ll need in your fight.” She finally turned to him and Harry felt an immediate sense of calm wash over him. “Stress is a distraction that keeps you from learning properly, this is why I’ve chosen such a serene estate for your first lessons.” She continued. “Stress also brings out the best in people and can help push them to new heights.”

Harry nodded quietly and found that he could not break her eye contact.

“We will be training your mind, Harry Potter, every inch of it will be brimming with the qualities that I look for in my pupils when we’ve finished. Do you have any questions?”

Harry thought for a moment then looked back to the enchantress’ piercing stare. “Where are the books?” He asked simply.

Rowena’s eyes reflected the smile that did not immediately cross her face. “Books?”

“Well, if I’m to learn these spells, where are the books I’ll need to read from?” Harry asked more confidently.

The smile came at the more elaborate form of his question and she laughed appreciatively. “We will not be using books.” She said with finality. “From what I’ve seen of your progress thus far, you would quickly tire of the reading and note taking. Aside from the fact that the physical world has no hold over us here, books thus become pointless.”

Harry nodded with understanding. “If we’re not going to study the formulas of spells and since the physical world isn’t bound to us, how will I work the spells without my wand?”

With an appreciative nod she explained. “Before we, as a wizarding race, discovered our ability to manipulate the force that we came to know as magic, there was no need for wands. In those times, our magic was wild, untamed, and had to be brutally mastered in order for us to control it.” She smiled at Harry’s nod. “Every witch and wizard has the ability to control the energy that defines the effects we call charms, hexes, jinxes, or more generically, spells. It takes an ordered mind to grasp the raw components of each spell to achieve the ordered effects that are requested of this energy.

“Wands were created to allow everyone with the gift to become practitioners. Do you know why this is?”

Harry looked to the flowers at his feet then after a few moments back to his newest professor. “I reckon it has something to do with the magical creature at the core of the wand.” Rowena nodded for him to continue. “Since they are born with the natural ability to use magic, a piece of them helps us to use it as well.”

“You are almost correct.” She said with a smile. “It’s not the ability to use magic ...”

“But the ability to control it.” He said after a nod.

“Very good.”

“You mentioned that spells are made of components?” Harry asked inquisitively.

“It’s good that you remember the small details and your curiosity is a benefit to learning.” She smiled proudly at her pupil. “Yes, every spell is made of components, seeds if you will. These seeds define certain aspects that allows the desired result to be created from the flow of magical energy.”

“You mean things like the wand motions, incantations, and things like that?”

“Indeed. But oh so very much more.” She explained. “Each seed brings about a specific effect in and of itself but the final effect cannot be realized without the use of two or more seeds. For instance, can you describe the flame charm incendio?”

“It allows us to create fire wherever we point our wand.” Harry said slowly.

“Can you break it down into its component seeds?”

“Hmm, fire is one of them.” He said thoughtfully. “I guess there would have to be some sort of targeting portion so the flame knows where to go and then there’d have to be a transport seed to put the flame there.”

“Almost, but very close. You don’t need the wand to perform it because you are actually using it to channel the magical energy.” She smiled as she continued. “Those seeds you mentioned are a part of the spell yes, however, there is the incantation ‘INCENDIO’ which helps give it form.”

“Do we actually have to say the incantation? Or can we just think it?”

“Very astute observation. Why don’t you try it on this log?” She waved her hand and instantly a log was before them. “You do not have use of your wand so think of yourself as the conduit of control.”

Harry looked at the log and concentrated as hard as he could.

“Think about the end effect and how the seeds should fit together.” He was instructed.

Going deeper into his mind’s eye, Harry imagined a flame, wings, a compass and the word incendio all fit together in a neat package like an atom or molecule with all of its component parts fitting together to create a new object. To his delight, the log caught fire but the sudden elation caused the flames to erupt into a devastatingly high pillar within seconds. Harry backed away from the inferno and fell to the ground with a thud.

Rowena waved her hand and the flames disappeared. With a laugh she extended a hand to help the startled youth back to his feet. “A valiant first try!” She said with a glittering smile. “I assume you’ve gathered what went wrong?”

Harry took the offered hand and pulled himself to his feet. “I got a bit excited that I actually did it.” He said with a sheepish grin. “I guess emotions have a big hand in the power of the end effect?”

With a nod and a smile Rowena motioned to another log. “You’ve got the idea. Now let’s try again, this time, focus on how much power you want in the spell and try to control your emotions.”

Harry nodded and within a few moments he was able to produce a roaring fire that would normally be seen in the Gryffindor common room. A thought occurred to him when the flame began to falter at his decrease in concentration and he added a seed of permanency to the mix. With his concentration released from the task at hand he smiled at his mentor who was grinning brightly.

“Found that you needed to make it more permanent if you didn’t want to concentrate all day.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and let out another lilting laugh. “You are a fast learner.”

Harry blushed and looked back at the fire he’d created. With a thought the flames and log vanished, leaving the meadow and surrounding flowers unscathed and as vivid as he had once seen them.

“A very fast learner.” She said with a clap to his back. “But this is just the beginning. By the time your next instructor arrives, you’ll be able to create or disband any effect that you know the seed combination to.”

Harry looked to Rowena with a surprised look. “Even the unforgivables?” He asked excitedly.

The smile faded from the woman’s face and she slowly shook her head. “Unfortunately, you cannot reverse the effects of the killing curse.” She said sadly. “I would have used that countless times to bring back the friends and family I’d lost.”

Harry nodded. “I had to ask.” He said quietly.

“Asking is always good. Never be afraid to ask a question, no matter how unimportant you think it is or how you may view the world after you ask it.” She sat in the grass and motioned for Harry to sit across from her. “Questions are our way of discovering truth and without them we would still be looking at two pieces of stone in a cave somewhere wondering why we can’t be warm at night.”

Harry nodded in understanding.

“Now, to be able to control these magical energies we need to train our mind. We will be doing so until you are ready to continue to the next instructor.”

For several days, Harry and Rowena sat in the same place practicing different modes of meditation, concentration, and the various seeds that create the various effects he’d learned through his first four years in Hogwarts. They had finished with his memorization of nearly every seed when Rowena sighed.

“What is it?” Harry asked as he looked at her with concern written across his face.

“Now we’ve come to the most important part.” She said with conviction. “Now we talk about the emotive seed. Do you understand the ramifications that this one, seemingly simple component contains?”

Harry closed his eyes and though back to the experiments they’d been conducting. Each time he’d increased the power of the spell by adding a bit of his emotion to the mix, hate, anger, sadness, fear, happiness, elation ... love. He looked up with a startling thought. “Dark arts, light arts, they’re controlled by the emotions we use as seeds!”

“Again, you never cease to amaze me with your deductive reasoning. It seems your friend Hermione Granger will have some competition when you return.”

Harry’s eyes clouded over at the mention of Hermione’s name and he swore he could hear her voice in his head.

“Is everything ok?”

“Yes ...” Harry said absently. Did I hear her say love? He shook his head again. “I was just thinking about someone and I could have sworn I heard their voice ...”

“The living do talk to us, Harry.” His wise mentor smiled at him. “It seems that Hermione hasn’t given up on you yet.”

Harry said nothing and when he saw the piercing gaze of his teacher simply nodded.

“You have completed what I have to teach you, Harry.” Rowena Ravenclaw said with satisfaction as she got to her feet. Harry followed her lead and stood before the legendary enchantress. “You are ready to move onto the next stage of your training, this will help you get there.” She produced a medallion that held the crest of Ravenclaw. Harry took it gingerly and examined it with a critical eye. He looked up to find that his mentor was gone and along with her, the field they were sitting in.

Surrounding him on all sides was wasteland. Lava rock, sand, dead wood, dry riverbeds, and large skeletons littered the landscape. He heard a distinctive sound that made his flesh crawl but he did not move. He listened carefully and scoured the shadows for the creature that was calling his name.

“Very alert. But not alert enough.” Came a voice directly behind him. Harry jumped forward and spun on his potential assailant. “Also very jumpy it seems.” The man standing before him laughed in a cold, hollow way.

Harry immediately recognized the man before him and his eyes went to narrow slits. “Salazar Slytherin.” He said coldly.

“So you remember my visage from the Chamber do you?” He laughed again. “Tell me, Potter, why didn’t you choose to stay with my house when the sorting hat so wisely wished to place you there?”

Harry looked the man over and stood straight. “I did not want to be associated with prejudice and evil.” He said flatly.

“Good reasons.” Salazar said with mock appreciativeness. “But why old git Gryffindor’s?”

“I had friends there.” Harry replied simply.

“Loyal to your friends up to the end it seems.” Slytherin laughed again. “Well, not quite loyal as the current situation has pointed out.”

Harry could feel the anger building within him and he couldn’t contain it. “WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FRIENDSHIP AND LOYALTY?!” He spat angrily.

Harry was knocked to the ground as Salazar Slytherin seemed to suddenly materialize right in his face. “I know that throwing away your life is not a trait that I would have chosen in a pupil of mine!” He said venomously. “Even I had friends, Potter, and I was loyal to them until they betrayed me. You were not betrayed by those closest to you!”

“What do you know of it?” Harry growled as he got back to his feet. “And is this all you’re going to do? Taunt me?”

Salazar grinned evilly at the child before him. “I am here to train you, Potter.” He grimaced at the thought of having to follow orders. “I’m going to train you to control your emotions so they do not become unstable at the most crucial moment during a battle.”

Harry narrowed his eyes at the man in front of him. “And what would you know about controlling emotion?” He spat in return. “From what I’ve read, you blew up and created that blasted Chamber to wipe out those with impure blood.”

“There was a difference of opinion, yes.” He said with a smile. “But under no circumstances did I ‘blow up.’” He began to pace in front of Harry. “I don’t expect you to understand, being a Gryffindor and following your heart with abandon. But the Chamber was always there, just waiting for the right person to reveal it.”

Harry watched as his house’s nemesis continued to walk back and forth in front of him.

“No, I didn’t blow up, I bided my time, I held my emotions inside until I knew the time was right to reveal them and when I did, the heavens shook.” He said with a glow in his eyes. “Gryffindor and those other idiots needed to combine their forces to stop me. But if they hadn’t, the power would have been mine!”

Harry rolled his eyes at the common speech that he’d heard over and over from Voldemort or one of his followers.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me, whelp!” Slytherin was suddenly so close that Harry could feel their noses touching.

“Why not? I’ve heard that speech countless times from your own heir, yet I’ve been able to stop him in his tracks each time.” Harry shrugged. “And this is someone who frightens most wizards that they can’t even say his name, but yours is thrown around with abandon.”

The rage in the original head of Slytherin house could be seen plainly as his limbs shook and his eyes ignited in reddish flame. “How.Dare.You!” He growled. “How dare you compare me to that worthless half-blood?!”

“Worthless? He seems to be more effective than even you were.” Harry grinned at him. “What have you done to make people fear you? Your house is full of tainted blood, hags, trolls, ferrets.” He chuckled at his description of Malfoy. “It’s a laughing stock.”

Harry thought he had seen fury when Dumbledore fought Riddle and he was mistaken. He shrank back at the visage of Salazar Slytherin in his full, hell-bent glory and something clicked in his mind.

There is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Harry thought for a moment on those famous words and looked at the raging man in front of him. Why isn’t he attacking me? He thought curiously. Realization hit him and he calmed immediately.

The look on Harry’s serene face caused the tirade of Slytherin to subside and the man looked at the young wizard quizzically.

“To answer your question, I know you can do me no harm here.” Harry said evenly. “I’m dead, I’ve seen hell, what worse can you do to me when I’ve had a glimpse of eternal torment?”

Salazar looked at him pointedly and studied the young man with a scrutinizing eye. “Indeed.” He said finally. “It seems you have fear under control, but what about your anger?”

Harry glared at him but didn’t answer.

“Oh, I know how much you love that mudblood.” Salazar said with a malicious grin when he saw Harry tense up. “And I know that you threw away your life because you couldn’t have your way with the mudblood who...”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” Harry growled through clenched teeth.

“Or what? You’ll hurt me? You’ll kill me? Come off that high horse of yours, Potter! We both know that you threw a tantrum because some mudblood didn’t love you.” Slytherin finished with a wide grin.

Harry closed his eyes and tried to control the anger and depression that started bubbling to the surface. “She loves me, as a friend, yes, but she does.” Harry said finally. “I may love her differently, but I know that she is there for me.”

“If you knew that, why did you throw it all away?” Harry looked up to find he was in a different place. He was in Hogwarts and the woman in front of him was not Salazar Slytherin.

Harry looked around in surprise. “Where’s Slytherin?”

The woman smiled genuinely and clapped a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “You’ve passed his trials and are now ready to explore the meaning of loyalty, Harry.”

Harry nodded quietly as he now recognized the woman in front of him as Helga Hufflepuff. Within a few moments, he found himself at the portrait of the fat lady and he looked quizzically at his new guide.

“You’re wondering why we’re here?” She smiled at him warmly and opened the portrait without the use of a password. “You’ll soon find out.”

She climbed through the portrait hole and Harry followed behind her. He looked around at what he thought was the empty common room but stopped on the sleeping form of Ginny.

“Ginny? How ... Are we back at the castle?” He asked with surprise.

Helga smiled and nodded quietly. “We’re going to visit someone.” She said with a wave of her hand, motioning Harry to the stairs of the boy’s dormitory.

Harry started up the stairs and before he knew it, he had arrived to his room on autopilot.

“Go on in.” He heard from behind him. He obeyed without question and stopped in his tracks when he saw that his things were gone and spun to the murmuring coming from Ron’s bed.

“Come back, Harry.” He was whispering to a picture of the three of them. “Hermione needs you, mate.”

Harry grimaced at her name and reached out to his friend when he saw the tear stains on his face. His hand passed through Ron’s shoulder and Ron looked up quickly.

He looked around the room and, seeing nothing, went back to talking to the photo in front of him. “I miss you, Harry. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you about us ...”

Harry had enough and stepped out of the room.

“That’s a loyal friend you have there.” Helga said as she started up another staircase. Harry looked at her incredulously.

“Sneaking around behind my back is loyal?” He asked quietly.

“People make mistakes, Harry, after all, they’re only human.” Helga stopped at the last door and turned to let Harry pass through.

Harry took the cue and stepped into the suite that was behind the door. He looked around and noted all the books and pieces of parchment scattered everywhere.

“If I weren’t in the boy’s dormitory, I’d swear that this is her room.” Harry commented quietly. He noticed two doors, one on each side of this smaller common room and walked to the one that was open.

Madam Pomfrey bustled out and made her way down the stairs that would take her out of the Gryffindor tower. Harry looked in the room and nearly fell at the sight.

His body was laying comfortably on a large bed, there were massive bruises all over his face but the color had returned to his skin and he seemed to be breathing much more rhythmically and stably. That wasn’t the surprise that caught him off guard. Hermione was lying next to him stroking his hair as she read from a book. One glance told him that it was her Arithmancy book but he was speechless at what she was doing.

“You see, the numbers that correspond with the movement of the planets ...” She looked at the unconscious form of himself in front of her and tears traced new paths from her eyes to her chin. “Harry, please come back to us ...” Harry did fall when she leaned over and kissed him on the lips. “I miss you, Harry, please come back.” She lay the book aside and pulled him into a hug before she fell asleep with her head on his chest.

7. The-Boy-Who-Survived

CHAPTER SEVEN

The-Boy-Who-Survived

Harry sat in stunned silence as he watched Hermione fall asleep with her arm protectively wrapped around him. He stood slowly and quietly crossed the room to the sleeping couple.

“What is she doing?” He asked himself quietly. He looked back to Helga who was admiring the scene in front of her. “Why did she kiss me?” He asked in a trembling voice.

“I would think that was obvious, Harry.” She replied with a smile.

“She shouldn’t be kissing me like that.” Harry said slowly. He looked back to Hermione’s sleeping face and felt his heartbeat increase and his hands start to sweat. The lightheadedness that he was starting to experience was easy for him to trace back to the first time he felt it. The Department of Mysteries where Hermione had been badly injured and he thought she had been killed. Then he found that she was alive ...

“She is very loyal, Harry.” Helga said quietly from the foot of the bed.

Harry couldn’t help himself and bent to caress her cheek. Hermione snapped awake at the touch.

“Harry?” She looked at his comatose body and realized that he hadn’t moved since she’d last been awake. With a sigh she rested her head back on his chest and began to whisper. “I’m sorry, Harry, I should have said something earlier ...” She began to caress his hair once more and she kissed him on the cheek. “I shouldn’t have rejected you, Harry ...” She whispered quietly into his ear.

Harry heard every word as if she was standing next to him and he blanched. “Is she doing this out of guilt?” He asked incredulously. He felt a sudden sense of revulsion and couldn’t handle looking at the way she was fawning over him. With his hand on his stomach he quickly left the room.

“Things aren’t always as they seem.” Helga commented after she exited the room.

“She felt guilty because I jumped.” He retorted angrily.

“That could very well be the case.”

Harry stiffened and looked back to the room his body was in. “Did she leave Ron for me because she felt guilty about what happened?!” He clenched his fists a few times and paced back and forth across the room. “How could she do that to him?!”

Salazar Slytherin’s face flashed in his mind and Harry stopped abruptly. With a few deep breaths and strained concentration, he calmed himself down.

“I see Salazar’s lesson didn’t go unheeded.” She said quietly. “You have to realize that people make mistakes, Harry. All you need to know is that she’s beside you, sacrificing herself for you, being loyal to you.”

Harry looked at his mentor and said nothing.

“Does it look like she’s abandoning you in your time of need? Has she ever abandoned you?” Helga asked in a way that was reminiscent of Professor McGonagall.

No, Hermione’s always been there ... Even after Sirius ... Harry looked to the floor. “No.” He said simply. “She’s always been there for me, always.”

Helga Hufflepuff wrapped a comforting arm around Harry’s shoulders and guided him out of Gryffindor tower to the hospital wing. They passed through the many doors, tapestries, and other obstacles that were in their way as if they weren’t there and found they had walked into the middle of a conversation.

“Here’s the next dosage.” Professor Snape said curtly. “Make sure Potter’s next potion drip contains it.”

Harry looked at the potions master in disbelief.

“Thank you, Severus.” Madam Pomfrey said quietly. “Let’s just hope that it’s strong enough to keep his spirit bound.”

“I’m sure that the presence of Miss Granger will bring him back in due time.” Dumbledore said reassuringly. “She hasn’t left his side since she was told of his condition.”

“WHAT?!” Harry couldn’t believe his ears. “How long has it been?” He asked his guide.

When he received no answer, He turned and found that Helga Hufflepuff was gone. He turned back to the conversation that they’d walked in on and found the room silent and empty. Harry began to panic and started for Gryffindor tower only to find that he couldn’t access it, no matter how hard he tried.

“What’s going on?!” He growled under his breath.

“It seems that my dear friend Helga has deemed you worthy of passing her tests of Loyalty.” A man said proudly behind him. “I don’t know if you truly need my guidance.”

Harry turned and his eyes went wide at the sight of the man before him. “G-Godric Gryffindor?” He stammered in shock.

The man standing before him had the same regal aura as Rowena Ravenclaw. He was dressed in scarlet robes with gold trim and at his hip was a familiar silver sword with a ruby encrusted pommel and cross guard. His goatee was the same raven-black color as the unruly hair perched atop his head. Godric smiled at him in reply. “That’s right, Harry. I should say that it’s very early for you to even be here.” He extended a hand and Harry took it nervously.

“It was either train and return ...”

“Or the Pit of Despair ...” Godric finished quietly.

“You’ve seen it?” Harry asked incredulously.

“I have.” Godric said with a sigh. “Suicide is not a noble or courageous thing to do.”

Harry nodded. “So I’m finding out.”

“It does happen quite suddenly.” Godric said with a far away look in his eyes. “The decision that is ... I never would have chosen falling to my death, however.”

“I don’t know why I did, I just ... did it.” Harry admitted quietly. “I mean, I am so bloody tired of losing those I love, of being alone ... I just wanted to be with my parents and Sirius ...”

“We all need to be loved, Harry. We all do.” Godric smiled at him again. “It’s one of the reasons that you were able to survive the first time.”

“I’ve heard the story before.” Harry said quietly. “Mum protected me by sacrificing herself.”

“That was truly brave. She proved herself worthy of being in my house that night.” Godric said with a proud smile as he remembered the events that had transpired in Godric’s Hollow. “Your father and mother have proven themselves over and over again, as have you.” He settled a warm hand on Harry’s shoulder and smiled even wider. “I knew I could expect great things from you, Harry.”

“I haven’t done anything great.” Harry said quietly. “I was just a baby when Voldemort was ‘defeated.’ It was my fault that Sirius died. It was my fault that Cedric died. It was my fault that Hermione is ignoring her boyfriend ...”

Godric slid an arm around Harry’s shoulders and began to walk around his beloved school. “Harry, I know you are brave and courageous. You’ve faced odds where others would have crumbled and fled. In that respect, I cannot train you further.” He looked at the youth walking beside him. “You are selfless and act in the best interest of others over yourself.”

Harry walked along and nodded when he felt it was necessary or when he wanted to show that he was indeed listening.

“But courage and bravery are not only defined by what we do with our lives. Saving others and putting your life on the line to make the world a better place are not the only things that make us brave.”

Harry looked up at the older man then back to his feet and sighed.

“Is it safe to assume that you know what I’m trying to teach you?” Godric asked with a smile and a twinkle in his eyes.

Harry nodded. “Courage and Bravery also come from doing the right thing, listening when others would not, and also, I reckon, from not hiding your feelings.”

“Close, very close.” Godric said with a laugh. “It also takes a man of courage to view everyone’s feelings, not just your own. When you jumped, did you think of anyone but yourself?”

“Honestly?” Harry asked rhetorically but Godric nodded for him to continue. “I thought of Hermione.” He said quietly. “I hoped she’d be happy with Ron but I still love her.”

“There are truth and deception attached to that, Harry.” Godric said gently. “We all know how much you love that girl ...”

“But I’m jealous.” Harry said bitterly. “I’m jealous that Ron got to kiss her, that Ron won her heart, that he’s not alone ...”

“But you’re not alone.” Godric said wisely. “True, you might not have found a woman who’d love you as much as you could love her, not yet anyway. But given time, you would have. Life is full of surprises, twists, turns, ups and downs ...

“I could bog you down with thousands of clichés, but that would take more time than I’ve been around.” He let out a hearty laugh and clapped Harry on the shoulder. “To live is the most courageous thing anyone can do. To experience the pain and loss, love and hate, and everything in between ... Ahh, that’s what being brave is all about.”

Harry sighed as he mulled the words over in his head.

“Bravery ... Bravery is everything rolled into a neat package, Harry.” Godric said with a smile. “Your heart strengthens it, your spirit guides it, your mind controls it, and those around you are inspired by it.” He looked upon Harry with the pride of a father and smiled warmly. “My lesson is over, Harry. It was difficult for me to teach you something about which you know so well. You wouldn’t have chosen Gryffindor otherwise.”

Harry looked up at the original head of his house. “I was able to summon your sword through the sorting hat ...”

“And you want to know if you’re related to me?” Godric said with a laugh. He smiled mischievously as he looked Harry square in the eyes. “Trust in the words of your headmaster.” He said quietly.

Harry blinked and found that Godric Gryffindor was no longer in front of him and that he wasn’t in the halls of Hogwarts.

“Stonehenge?” He looked around at the monolith that held so much mystery and intrigue for the inhabitants of the muggle world. “What does this have to do with anything?”

“I see you’ve passed the trials of my pupils.” Merlin said with a grin from atop the altar stone in the center of the many circles of this world wonder. “And have you learned their lessons well?” He asked quietly.

Harry looked to the icon of the wizarding world. “What else do I have to do?” He said evenly.

“Oh, are you ready to continue then? So eager to leap into the mouth of the dragon and test yourself?” Merlin strode towards his charge with purpose and stopped directly in front of him. “Do you feel it?” He asked in a low whisper. “Do you feel his breath on you?”

The hair on the back of Harry’s neck stood on end and he glanced around the empty surroundings. “I don’t see ...”

“Did I ask you to look for him?” Merlin snapped. “No, I asked you to feel him. The dragon is here and he’s watching.”

Harry turned back to Merlin to find the wizard gone. “Merlin?” He glanced around him quickly and jumped when he heard a laugh above him.

“Well, go on, get to feeling!” Merlin was perched atop one of the stone columns with a frown directed towards Harry. “For heaven’s sake, didn’t anyone ever teach you how to feel?”

“You keep mentioning the dragon.” Harry said perplexed. “Is it a Norwegian Ridgeback?”

“No, no, no. Don’t you pay attention in your classes?” Merlin climbed down from the column slowly and then made his way to Harry. “The dragon, he’s all around us. Don’t look! Feel!” Merlin snapped when Harry began to look around the area again. “Feel his breath upon your face, feel his bones beneath your feet ...”

Harry looked to the seemingly eccentric old man next to him. “I can feel wind and we’re standing on a rather large stone.” Harry looked to the fallen pillar they were standing on.

“Why, you’re right!” Merlin said with a wide smile.

“So, the dragon, is it ... nature?” Harry asked as he screwed up his face.

“Some call it that, others worship it, still others try to tame it.” Merlin said as he walked off in a seemingly random direction. Harry watched him walk off. “Well, come on then!” He said irritably. “We haven’t got all century ...”

Harry followed as swiftly as he could but Merlin seemed to possess a swiftness that was unnatural, even for a wizard. In what seemed like a few minutes they arrived at a beach. Harry couldn’t quite place where they were and he looked up and down the shore skeptically.

“Ah, here’s our ride.” Merlin smiled and walked to a boat that had just appeared from thin air. “Come on then, they’re not going to wait much longer.”

Harry hurried over and clambered aboard just before it set off again. There was an eerie sort of singing echoing above the water and he felt the urge to dive into the water and swim towards the sound.

“Go on if you want to remain here forever.” Merlin said under his breath. “Sirens just love the young ones ... I wonder how Hermione will get along without you?”

Harry shook his head at the mention of her name and caught a glimpse of the scaly women who were sunbathing not too far away. “That’s a siren?” Harry asked quietly.

“Not so pretty when you’re not under their spell, now are they?” The old wizard shook his head in disgust. “Still, they keep this place hidden from unwanted guests.”

“Where are we going?”

“Lyonesse.” Merlin said simply as if that was the most obvious answer.

“Where King Arthur ...”

“Yes, yes, where Arthur Pendragon is ‘rumored’ to rest.” Merlin said irritably. “It also happens to be the place where the dragon is most anxiously awaiting us.”

Harry looked at the shore of the small Island they were quickly approaching. As they drew nearer he gasped at the enormous mountain that the island truly consisted of. At the peak was a gleaming white castle that reflected the sunlight from its walls.

“Camelot?” Harry asked incredulously.

“I suppose you thought we were crossing the ocean to get back to Hogwarts?” Merlin snorted out a laugh. “Are you sure that Rowena trained you long enough?”

Harry glared at the eccentric mage momentarily before returning his gaze to the place before him. A flock of seagulls screamed overhead and Harry jumped as Merlin ducked while looking to the sky.

“What is it?” Harry asked quickly and followed his guide’s gaze. He found that the seagulls were the only things in the air.

“Nasty creatures, sea gulls.” Merlin spat to the sky. “You have to be careful when under them, disgusting side effects ...” He shuddered and visibly relaxed as they pulled into a cave set into the side of the mountain. The boat came to a halt at an underground dock, not unlike that of Hogwarts’ and the two wizards climbed ashore.

“No time to dilly dally.” Merlin said hurriedly. “Your time is almost up.”

Harry glanced at his watch habitually and then slapped his forehead when he realized that he wasn’t even wearing it since it was broken. He hurried after his mentor and after the many twists and turns through naturally formed caverns and tunnels Harry found himself in an extraordinarily large cave full of crystals.

“Ah, the heart of the dragon.” Merlin said with a strange sense of satisfaction. “Here is where we see what he sees, feel what he feels ...” The cavern trembled at some unknown force. “And it seems as if he’s hungry, yes, hungry indeed.”

“What does he eat?” Harry asked absentmindedly as he scanned all the different crystalline structures in the room.

“Oh, anything he wants really.” Merlin said with a shrug. “Let’s see you tell the earth beneath your feet to not open up and swallow you whole when you don’t want it to.”

Harry looked at Merlin in slight amusement when a flicker from a crystal caught his attention. He stepped up to it for a better look and found a scene trapped within it.

“Oh, there are many secrets that you can learn by observation alone ...” Merlin whispered into Harry’s ear. Harry found that he couldn’t move from the spot and seemed to be drawn to the image in front of him.

Ron was walking up a flight of stairs and he just passed the room that they shared. He continued to the suite at the top of the tower and opened the door. Without knocking, he stepped into the room that held Harry’s body and he seemed to call out to Hermione. She looked up but didn’t move from the bed where Harry was. After what seemed like a few minutes of argument, she kissed him on the cheek and followed Ron to the suite’s common room. They stood and talked for what seemed like hours before they hugged and both went into Harry’s room again. Ron sat on the bed and took his hand while Hermione took her seemingly normal spot to his left. She picked up a book and continued to read from it as she ran her fingers through his hair.

“Ron’s ok with this?” Harry asked quietly. “Why isn’t he upset?”

“He’s upset alright.” Merlin’s voice darted back into Harry’s awareness. “Upset that you left ...”

Harry finally turned to see Merlin on the opposite side of the room. “I mean about Hermione.” Harry said evenly. He looked back to the crystal but found nothing within its depths.

“I know what you meant.” Merlin snapped. “Don’t be so ridiculous.”

Harry shook his head in confusion. “What did that have to do with the dragon?” Harry asked in bewilderment.

“The dragon knows all, he sees all, he touches everything and everything touches it.” Merlin said sagely. “There is a power to be had if you understand his ways and secret paths.”

“But all I saw were my friends ...” Harry shook his head in an attempt to clear the dizziness from his mind.

“What have you learned along this particular journey?” Merlin asked quietly.

Harry jumped when he realized that his mentor was standing less than a meter from him. Harry looked from Merlin to the crystal he had just looked at then to the lessons he’d gone through. “Life.” Harry replied confidently.

Merlin stood back and eyed Harry critically. “Life, eh?” He said with a grin. “And what makes you think that?”

Harry cleared his throat and nodded. “You need courage to live. Godric taught me that.”

“Courage is a major factor in life.” Merlin said with a nod. “But what else have you learned? That was a pretty blatant lesson.”

Harry looked to the ground deep in thought. After a few moments he looked back to his mentor. “Like the spells that we cast, life is intricate and interdependent on the different parts that define it.” He said slowly. “If one of the seeds is not present, life ceases to function.”

Merlin nodded and motioned for Harry to continue.

Harry sighed and thought some more. Where do emotions or loyalty fall into the meaning of life? He asked.

Loyalty also means love. A voice came from the recesses of his mind. Harry listened harder but no other words came to him.

“Loyalty ...” He started quietly. “Loyalty to your loved ones enriches your life along with theirs ...” He tapped his head in thought and the words seemed to just spill from his mouth. “Loyalty can also mean love or devotion. My friends are loyal even when I was selfish.”

Merlin looked at him with amusement.

Harry caught the look and glared at him for a moment as he continued to think. “Emotions give us the strength, courage, and devotion that fuel our life.” He said quietly. “If we have our emotions under control, we can control our life and therefore we can experience the ...”

“The dragon!” Merlin exclaimed with a clap. “Yes, the dragon! Do you see him now? His meandering pathways?”

Harry concentrated and looked around to find rivers of color swirling through the room. His eyes went wide when he saw that some of those rivers were flowing from him, from Merlin, and to and from the crystals throughout the cavern.

“Ah, the paths that he travels are seldom witnessed.” Merlin looked around reverently.

“The dragon also embodies magical energy, doesn’t he?” Harry asked in awe.

“He does. He affects everything and nothing.” Merlin said with a smile. “Right now, off you go, it’s time for me to sleep once more and it’s time for you to wake.”

“But how do I get back?” Harry asked in confusion.

“Just follow the dragon. He connects everything to nothing and nothing to everything ... Choose your path, but do not choose lightly.”

Harry turned to the icon of his people and found that he was already gone, his voice faded into a slight buzz that seemed to emanate from the crystals themselves.

He cleared his head and thought about the words that were imparted to him. With a sigh, he concentrated on controlling the fear and anxiety that had welled up within him then focused on one thing. He opened his eyes and noticed that one of the paths that were flowing from him seemed more vibrant than all the others. With a determined stride, he followed the path to a crystal that glittered as if it were filled with new hope. Without further hesitation, he reached for it and as his fingers touched the cool surface, the ground beneath him gave out.

He fell for an indeterminable amount of time and with each meter a whispering grew louder and louder in his ears. The sound became deafening and he reached out to grab hold of something to keep him from falling further.

Hermione jumped at the sudden movement and looked down at her arm. Harry’s hand was firmly grasping it and she looked wildly to his face. Tears began to fall down her cheeks when she met the emerald eyes of Harry Potter looking back at her.

“H-Harry?” She whispered quietly. She didn’t blink for fear that it would be the last time she’d see him looking back at her.

“I’m sorry.” He said tenderly.

Hermione pulled him into a tight hug and cried into his shoulder. “Harry, you’re awake! I can’t believe it!”

Harry returned her embrace but after a few moments pushed her back slowly. “How long have I been out?” He asked hoarsely.

Hermione looked disappointed. “A-about three months.” She said sadly.

“Three months?!” He looked at the sadness etched into her face. “You’ve been here that long?” She nodded. “What about Ron?”

Hermione sighed and looked towards the door. “Ron and I broke up.” She said quietly.

“Why?” Harry asked almost angrily.

Hermione winced. “Because ... Because I don’t love him.” She admitted quietly.

“Listen.” Harry took her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “It isn’t your fault.”

Hermione snapped around to look at him. “It is ...” She said confidently.

“No, Hermione, it isn’t. I was stupid to do what I did.” He looked to the blankets and pulled her hand into his lap to cover it with his other. “I felt alone and I was tired of it all ... I was jealous, hurt, and afraid, yes, but mainly I felt p-pity for myself.” He wiped the tears that were starting to run down his cheeks. “I put everyone through grief that they didn’t deserve.”

He looked back to Hermione’s tear streaked face and wiped away the moisture that had started to form again. “Hermione, it wasn’t your fault. Don’t feel guilty because of what I did.”

“Harry, I do feel guilty.” She said evenly. “I hurt you in a way I never thought I would! It tore me up to see what I did to you ...”

Harry pulled her down into a tight hug. “I was upset. But it wasn’t you who made me jump! It wasn’t you who pushed me! You don’t have to let guilt push you to do something you don’t want to, Hermione.” He finished with a whisper.

“Harry, did you hear what I told you? What I told you every day?” Her voice just the faintest of whispers.

Harry sighed. “I heard.” He admitted quietly. “Every word.”

Hermione pulled up slightly and looked into his tear filled eyes. “Then you know that I love you, Harry.”

He looked deep into her eyes and saw the guilt still hovering behind them. An immense surge of anger began to boil up within him. YOUR GUILT MADE YOU THINK THAT! He thought bitterly.

“Harry?” Hermione asked nervously. “Harry?”

Her voice started to grow fainter and her face blurred. Without warning Salazar Slytherin was grinning madly in front of him.

“So, still unable to admit the truth and take control of yourself, eh, Potter?!” He spat.

Harry shook his head. “But I passed your trials!”

“My trials will never truly end, boy.” Salazar said with a laugh.

Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath, concentrating on controlling his anger once more. After he felt calm again, his hearing cleared and he distinctly heard several voices around him.

“He was awake?” Ron asked incredulously, the hope in his voice was unmistakable.

“We were just talking and then he passed out.” Hermione said through a sob. “I was just talking to him!”

“Calm down, Miss Granger.” Madam Pomfrey said quietly. “His heart rate seems to have returned to normal and his blood pressure has leveled out.”

Harry opened his eyes and looked at his friends and the nurse.

“Harry!” Ron shouted excitedly.

“Hey, Ron.” Harry said quietly.

“It’s about time you came around, Mr. Potter.” Madam Pomfrey said with a smile. “We were beginning to worry that you wouldn’t make it.”

“I almost didn’t.” He said evenly as a far away look settled in his eyes.

“You do know that you’ll need to undergo some therapy?” The nurse asked as she took his vitals.

Harry nodded weakly. “I know.”

Madam Pomfrey finished her tasks and beamed at her patient. “Everything seems to be alright. I’ll just get the healing potions that we couldn’t give you while you were unconscious.”

Harry nodded and winced as she removed his potion drip.

“Anything I can do for you, Harry?” Ron asked with a concerned look on his face.

“Some food would be nice.” Harry said with a slight grin when his stomach rumbled loudly.

“Be right back!” Ron nearly ran from the room, leaving Harry and Hermione alone once again.

“Hermione?” Harry looked to the young woman standing next to the bed.

She looked down at him, the hurt look still firmly in place.

“Did you say all that because you felt guilty or did you really mean it?”

She looked into his eyes and saw the uncertainty there. “I meant it, Harry.” She replied quietly. “Every word.”

Harry held out his hand and she took it tentatively. “I’m sorry I made you feel guilty. But please stop?”

She sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. “I can’t help it, Harry. I remember the look on your face when I told you to stop then I had to go back to Ron. Laying in bed and worrying about telling you how I felt when all the while you were ...” She fought back a sob but the tears came freely.

Harry nodded. “I’m sorry I put you through all that. If I could go back and stop myself, I would.”

Hermione looked at him.

“I wouldn’t use a time turner again ...” He said half-jokingly. “I just wish I could have told you earlier. Do you still feel you can love me after I put you through all this?”

“Harry ...” She looked to her hands.

Harry felt that all-too-familiar pang hit his heart again and he nodded. “That’s ok.” He said quietly. “If you need time to ...”

Her lips were on his before he could finish and Harry felt everything he did Christmas Eve. The butterflies seemed to have intensified and he couldn’t think straight. He felt a familiar burning sensation in his face and his hands became slick with perspiration.

She pulled away from him gently and looked into his eyes. “My feelings for you haven’t changed, Harry.” She said quietly. “Have yours?”

Harry cupped her cheek in his hand and looked deep into her eyes. “They’ve only grown stronger.” He whispered. They kissed again and this time neither was surprised. They were so caught up with themselves that they didn’t hear anyone enter and when they pulled apart, they found a tray of food sitting on the table near the door.

A/N: Here's chapter 7. I know it doesn't mesh with proper Aurthurian Legend and that Lyonesse & Avalon are not one in the same, let alone in 'existence' ... seeing as we're talking about the wizarding world and where Avalon, Lyonesse, and Camelot are all believed to be I decided it best that all three resided in the same place at the time of this story, it is in the delusional head of a wizard boy who just attempted suicide afterall ;) I am in no way trying to be historically correct, dreams seldom are ... or is this a dream? *ponder* Perhaps these legendary places that disappeared or cannot be found have moved to another plane of existence? One never knows, especially a muggle :)

8. The Talk

CHAPTER EIGHT

The Talk

The rain pelted his thin frame as he stood at the base of the tower where he had embarked upon one of the most important adventures of his young life. His scarlet and gold Quidditch robes were heavy with the accumulated water falling from the heavens and the incessant splatters of moistened earth from the regulation sized pitch located at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. His raven hair clung to his skin like a mass of thin leeches but thanks to the impervious charm on his black rimmed spectacles he was able to see as clearly as if he were behind the windshield of an automobile.

The telltale sign of where his body had impacted more than five months ago had long since washed away with the subsequent blizzards, thaws, and springtime downpours that were common across the British Isles during this time of year.

Glancing up, he could only make out the faint outline of the fifth story window, alight with the faint glow of the fireplace inside the immediate room. The rest of the tower was obscured in the deluge that the heavens deemed necessary to unleash on the area.

“Harry! The party’s going to start in a few minutes!” Ron shouted from the entrance to the castle. “We won the bloody Quidditch cup, mate!”

Harry Potter didn’t look in the direction where his best friend was impatiently waiting but resigned to follow him into the castle none-the-less.

“Coming, Ron!” Harry shouted over a sudden burst of thunder and without further hesitation jogged to reach the doorway.

“Hermione’s already upstairs.” Ron said through chattering teeth. “How long are you going to let her mother you, Harry?”

Harry shrugged. “As long as she feels like it.” He said deadpan. “I reckon she’s still feeling guilty about everything and I’m tired of telling her that it wasn’t her fault.”

Ron winced at the tone his best friend took with him. “Harry, there’s no need to be like that.” He said exasperatedly. “I mean, we all feel guilty in one way or another for not paying attention ...”

“I’m not going to go through this again, Ron.” Harry said slowly. “I know everyone feels bad about what I did but it’s nobody’s fault but MINE. So can we please drop it?”

“I just wish you’d tell me why, Harry, I mean really, why?”

Harry sighed and shook his head slowly. “I’ve already told you, Ron. Don’t make me say it again ...”

“Bollocks! That’s just pure bollocks, Harry!” Ron spat at him angrily. “Something had to have made you do it! I don’t buy this self-pity bull!”

Harry felt his anger rise and stopped suddenly on the staircase they were currently climbing. He counted quietly to ten and took deep, even breaths. “Ron, I am not going to fight about this. Listen, I felt like I was alone. So utterly alone that it felt like I wasn’t needed or wanted by anybody.” He started climbing again as he spoke in a harsh whisper. “You have no idea how far down I went ... It got to a point where I just sort of watched myself. Ok? I felt detached, like I wasn’t in control. And no! It wasn’t Voldemort for the millionth-ruddy-time!

“I’m getting help, Ron. I know everyone won’t stop, but please, don’t worry about me, I’m getting help!” Harry finished in a tone that said the topic of discussion was closed. “You were brilliant today, Ron. Those were some amazing saves!” Harry mustered his best smile considering the quick change of topic.

Ron shook his head. “You are so bloody stubborn, Harry.” The two of them skipped over the last trick step before the home stretch to Gryffindor’s common room. “And thanks, but you’re the one who won us the game.”

Harry shrugged. “I just end the games and hope that the points are higher than the other teams’. You’re the one that blocked thirty-three consecutive shots.” He clapped his friend and Quidditch captain on the shoulder. “No way can you push this on me!” Harry laughed genuinely and it became infectious. Though strained, the two best friends reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, gave the password and entered their common room to raucous cheers.

“That was a smashing dive, Harry!” Seamus bellowed and quickly pulled the house seeker into the throng of housemates who began clapping him on the back and pumping his arm with abandon. Ron was soon pulled in as well and a chorus of Weasley is our King began to boom out when he was hoisted onto Sloper and Kirke’s shoulders.

Harry suddenly felt warm and the sudden press of bodies against him made him acutely aware that it wasn’t easy for him to move with his waterlogged robes sucking at his limbs. He tried to pull away from the mass of classmates but hey kept him firmly in place and tried to pull him up onto their shoulders as well. His heart started pounding as images started flashing in his mind.

Along the walls were people crying in agony and shrieking for mercy. There was a green glow that surrounded the entire place and a growing sense of dread and desperation began to fill his heart. The tortured souls reached for him and started tugging at his robes followed by grief stricken sobs of remorse and gasps for help.

Harry’s eyes widened with fear and he started panicking. He tried to turn and shake off the hands that were grasping at his arms and legs.

“GET OFF OF ME!” Harry screamed in terror. He swatted at the hands that had begun pulling him towards the pit but they were stronger than he was. With wide eyes, his feet started slipping and he tried to backpedal but the force was too strong.

“GET OFF ME!” He shouted at the top of his lungs but the din of the music and singing drowned him out. He saw a flash of brown outside the group of pressing bodies and he reached for Hermione instinctively. “HELP ME! I CAN’T ... HELP!”

Harry reached to grab hold of the wizard. “HELP ME! I CAN’T ... I’M NOT STRONG ENOUGH!” His hands fell through empty air and he fell to his stomach. Strong arms grabbed his ankles and he dug his fingers into the earth in a desperate attempt to stay away from the edge.

Harry felt his feet start to leave the floor and he started to twist and kick in a desperate attempt to wriggle free. His heart felt like it was pounding in his head instead of his chest.

“No soul is strong enough to fight against his own sins, Mr. Potter.” Merlin said distastefully from above him. “You can yet be saved from this fate ...”

Harry’s legs slipped over the edge and he could feel ... everything. His flesh seemed to catch fire and at the same time were numbingly cold. Boils erupted across his skin and a maddening itch followed in their wake. Festering wounds flared to life and when he looked down he screamed in pure, unbridled fear when he saw the maggots and larvae of countless insects burrowing into his flesh.

He saw Hermione’s hands reach toward him. “Take my hands, Harry!” She called to him, he could see the concern and worry stretched across her ashen face.

“Take my hand and you’ll be free, Harry.”

His attention snapped to the woman bending over him. Fresh tears were rippling down her cheeks and her outstretched hand beckoned to him. He looked into the face of his rescuer and met the gaze of the green eyes that he shared. Lily Potter’s auburn hair cascaded over her shoulders as she bent to him with a life-saving smile.

Harry reached for her just as the group started to lift him, her fingernails scratched his wrist accidentally as she was closing her hand. Harry’s eyes widened and Hermione saw the despair and fear hiding behind his now dulled eyes.

Harry reached for his mother’s hand and screamed in agony as they transformed to talons then shredded his hand to ribbons. Gone was her loving face and in its place was the maniacal grin of what could only be called a demon.

“You’re going to be a fun one to play with ...” He growled in ecstasy. “I love breaking in new arrivals.”

“NO! KEEP AWAY!” He screamed as he pulled his hand back to him. He started to curl into a fetal position that caused the arms below him to falter and he started to fall. He became dimly aware of a pair of hands pulling him from the throng onto the landing in front of the boys’ dormitory stairs.

“Harry, are you alright?” Ron asked nervously. “You’re shaking like a leaf! Maybe you should go to your room ...”

Harry looked around with the wide, tear-filled eyes of a small child after waking from a terrifying nightmare and flinched when his name was called.

“Harry?” Hermione asked quietly from his side. She held a hurt but concerned look on her face. “It’s ok.” She reached out to him and he flinched involuntarily causing her to pull back.

Ron grabbed his shoulders and shook him slightly. “Harry!”

“R-Ron?” He looked around wildly and seemed to visibly relax. He saw the look on Hermione’s face and his heart fell. “Wh-where am I?” He asked in a small voice.

“You’re in the common room, mate.” Ron said comfortingly. “Let’s get you up to your room.”

“Hermione.” Harry reached for her instinctively and took hold of her arm. “Don’t go.”

“I’m coming with you, Harry. I-It’s ok.” She forced a smile and helped him to his feet. “I’ve got it from here, Ron.” She said quietly. Ron nodded and looked concernedly at Harry.

“If you need anything, Harry, let me know. Hermione’s going to take you to your room. Get some rest, mate.” He clapped his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly.

Harry wasn’t in any shape or mood to argue the matter and followed numbly behind his girlfriend. The shivers he had experienced earlier began to intensify and his field of view collapsed to a tunnel. He was barely aware that his head was spinning and that they had come to a stop.

“Breathe, Harry! Stop and take a deep breath ...” Hermione was at his side, rubbing his back gently. She took a few deep breaths in an attempt to get Harry to follow suit and in a few moments, He found that the dizziness and tunnel-vision disappeared.

“Th-thanks.” He gasped out after taking a seat and putting his head between his legs. “Just ... couldn’t ... breathe ...”

Hermione gently cupped the sides of his face and tilted his head slowly so that he was looking into her eyes. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, Harry, you’re ok.”

Harry nodded and concentrated on breathing for a few more moments. His heart rate slowly returned to normal and he found the air filling his lungs was no longer coming in short gasps. “I know.” He said with a tremble in his voice.

“How long were you in front of the tower for tonight?” She asked quietly while she pulled off his wool cloak.

“I don’t know.” He admitted truthfully. Harry buried his face in his hands and let out a deep, shuddering breath. “Since the game let out I reckon.”

“That was two hours ago.” Hermione said gently as she got to her knees in front of him and cradled his head on her shoulder. “Wizards aren’t immune to muggle diseases, Harry, you could have gotten pneumonia or tuberculosis. Madam Pomfrey wasn’t happy to let you play today, especially during the storm.” She pulled her wand and cast a mild healing charm on the deep scratches in his wrist.

Harry watched and felt fear start to fill him again when he saw the scratches. “I-I’m going to change.” Harry said quietly. He kissed her on the cheek and stood shakily. “I’m ok.” He said quickly when she stood to support him. “Just a little shaky is all. Let me get into something warm and dry ...”

“Then we can talk?” Hermione offered with a hopeful look. Harry looked to the floor. “Please, Harry, don’t shut me out ...”

Harry sighed heavily and nodded. “We’ll talk.” He said quietly then turned to his room and shut the door.

What is there to talk about? He thought glumly to himself. About my therapy? I-I don’t know if I’m ready to do that yet ... The dreams I had? Harry sighed again as he stripped and tossed his muddy robes into the nearby hamper and watched as it sucked the garments to the school’s laundry room like a small child eating spaghetti. Within a few moments he was dry and dressed in his pajamas.

He opened the door to his room and smiled at Hermione. She was standing in front of the fireplace in one of his hand-me-down T-shirts with her hair up in a loose ponytail. She seemed to be transfixed by the flames that licked at the blackened stone and hadn’t noticed that the door to his room had opened.

Hermione jumped when he cleared his throat and she returned his smile warmly. It didn’t take her much time to cross the room and bury her face in his chest with her arms around him.

“I’m ok.” Harry cooed quietly to her. “I was just remembering things.” He admitted in a barely audible whisper.

Hermione nodded and pulled him to his bed where she had already pulled the covers back for him. They slid under the warm sheets and she curled up next to him with her head on his shoulder.

“Where should we start tonight?” He asked with a small amount of quiet tension in his voice.

“What happened in the common room?”

“I ... It ...” He sighed, not wanting to remember the Pit of Despair. “Hell.” He decided. “I felt like I was back in Hell.”

Hermione propped herself up on an elbow and moved his face so she can look him in the eyes. “Hell?” Her voice was thick with concern, worry, and fear.

Harry enveloped her petite hand with his own and nodded slowly. “I’ve seen it.” He said after he closed his eyes. “A pit with tortured souls ... They ... They grabbed me ... pulled me ...” He started to shiver violently and Hermione hugged him. When she did, his eyes shot open and he tried to get away from her. “NO!”

Hermione jumped back in surprise. “Harry, I’m sorry ... I didn’t know what to do ...” Tears started streaming down her cheeks as he looked around wildly. His eyes landed on her after a second and he immediately softened.

“No ... I’m sorry.” He said quietly. “It’s just ... I saw my mum and she wanted to help me out of the pit ...” He looked at his arm where the scratches had been not too long ago. “She turned out to be a demon and my hand and arm was shredded ...” He finished with a shudder but collected himself. He looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry.” He said again. Harry reached tentatively to her face and when she didn’t move, he cupped her cheek and wiped her tears from her face. “I didn’t mean to push you away. The images were still a little strong ...”

She nodded mutely and took his hand in hers. “It must have been awful.” She said quietly. She went to hug him again but thought better of it. Harry saw this and pulled her down into a crushing hug.

“It’s ok, they’ve passed.” Harry said reassuringly. “I’m sorry ...” He squeezed his eyes shut and apologized over and over.

“Stop apologizing.” She said firmly in his ear. She returned his hug and he loosened his hold on her. “I need to know what you went through, what you’re going through ... I can’t help you otherwise, Harry.”

Harry nodded and kissed the side of her neck. “At least that’s one thing.” He said with a slight chuckle. “I feel a little better.”

Hermione slid to his side again but didn’t take her arm from around his midsection. She sighed and Harry could feel her relax next to him.

“Did you tell this to Doctor Mudds?” She asked quietly.

He shook his head.

“Will you tell him?”

Harry sighed. “I don’t know.” He looked into her eyes and the truth was not betrayed in his emerald gaze. “I just don’t seem to understand ... I mean ...” He looked to the ceiling and pulled her in tighter. “I know I’m not there ... I need to get past it somehow ...”

“Do you still have dreams about that?” Hermione put in quietly as she traced a circle on his chest with a finger. Harry’s eyes dimmed and he stiffened suddenly. Hermione looked up at his face, her eyes wide at the look of terror scrawled across his face. “HARRY!?” Her voice died away as his memory flared to life again.

Harry shuddered visibly and looked to the tear-streaked face perched above him. Hermione was crying freely and shaking his shoulders.

“Harry! Harry, wake up!”

“I’m ok!” He said quickly and pulled her into a tight hug. “I’m ok, I’m ok.” He kept repeating aloud as much to himself as to Hermione.

“Do you want me to get Madam Pomfrey?” She asked shakily from his chest.

“No, I ... I have to tell you everything that happened when I was out.” He said quietly. “I need to tell you.”

She looked up into his glazed eyes and nodded. “I’m here, Harry, I’m not going to let anything happen ...”

Harry instinctively looked at the door and combined the proper seeds to shut and lock it, then looked around the room and an unnatural silence engulfed them.

“Harry, did you just do that without a wand?” She asked with wide eyes. Harry nodded. “You ... You just silenced the room too ... How?”

“That’s part of what I’m going to tell you.” He looked into her awestruck eyes as he spoke. “I was trained by the founders and Merlin.” He said seriously. “It was either that, or Hell.”

Her look changed from awe to confusion to horror in the span of a heartbeat. “You were trained?” She asked incredulously.

Harry nodded. “I’m serious.”

“How?”

He took in a deep breath and began the tale of his training. “I found myself standing at the base of the tower and Sirius ...”

“You saw Sirius?!” Hermione blurted out in amazement.

“Yes.” He said quietly. “And my parents. They were ... disappointed that I was there.” He gulped and closed his eyes tightly. Hermione cupped his cheek in her hand and stroked it softly with her thumb. Harry let out a bitter chuckle. “They warmed up a bit afterwards. I found out that Dad even pranked Sirius ...”

“He didn’t!” Hermione smiled despite the situation.

Harry laughed genuinely. “Hung him upside down in a tree dressed as a clown ...”

Hermione laughed at the picture that conjured and Harry laughed with her. “He even had the squeaky nose to go with it ...”

“I don’t believe it!”

Harry nodded. “It’s funny now, but at the time I was fuming and decided to head to the Shrieking Shack ...” His laughter had died down quickly. “That’s when I met Merlin and he gave me the choice ...”

“He showed you Hell?” Hermione looked into Harry’s eyes searching for the fear that she felt was going to come.

Harry nodded mutely and cleared his throat. “He called it the Pit of Despair.” He said quickly. “You know what happened ... Anyway, I ended up falling into the pit but when I landed, I was in the middle of a field ...”

Harry continued the story, explaining each task in as much detail as he could recall. Hermione was particularly interested in Rowena’s training where he described the seed theory of magic and how he could now use his body as the wand instead of a piece of wood.

“I intend to keep that a bit of a secret.” He said quietly. “I’ll tell Ron eventually.” He added when he saw the look on Hermione’s face and she relaxed a bit.

“There’s a bit more to what she taught me over that first week.” He said quietly.

“Harry, be-before you continue ...”

“Hmm?” He looked at her quizzically.

“D-Did you visit me in my room that night?” She bit her lower lip and glanced into his eyes.

“Yes.” He said simply.

“Why?”

“Do you even need to ask, Love?” He kissed her forehead. “I wanted to let you know that everything was going to be ok ... I didn’t have much time and Sirius is proud of you. My parents like you too.”

Hermione nodded and looked blankly at the wall for a moment. “It felt real.” She whispered. “I wondered ...”

“I visited Ron as well.” He said quietly. “You two are the most important people to me. I told him I wouldn’t get in your way ...”

“Harry ...”

“He even dreams Quidditch.” Harry said with a laugh.

“Harry!”

Harry looked to the ceiling for a moment then ventured to her face. She was looking at him intently. “I know what I did was selfish ... and, in a way, I think I needed to do what I did ...”

“WHAT?!” She sat up quickly with a look of utter disbelief on her face. “DON’T YOU DARE SAY THAT!”

“Hermione ...”

“NO, HARRY! I can’t believe you’d say something like that!” She roared at him. Harry shot to his knees and got so close to her that their noses were almost touching.

“I didn’t mean that I needed to hurt you!” He shouted back. “That was the LAST thing on my mind.” She opened her mouth to retort but he held up a hand. “No, listen. You weren’t the last thing on my mind, Hermione. You were always the person I thought of first! ALWAYS!”

She cowed a bit at the rise in his voice and the look in his eyes. Harry backed off and struggled to bottle the anger that was starting to fill him again. He could feel his blood pressure rise and his heart beating madly out of control. He mentally calmed himself and took several deep breaths. “I didn’t mean to get angry.” He said calmly after a few minutes. “I’m sorry but some of that training is still going on.”

Hermione looked him over quickly.

“No, it’s not physical, it’s emotional ... Slytherin,” he spat out the name, “is the one who was in charge of teaching me control. He still visits me when I lose it.” His eyes were still closed and he didn’t open them until his heart beat normally again. He opened his eyes and looked at the flushed face of his girlfriend. “Anger, specifically, is what I need to control.”

“That still doesn’t mean ...” She began but Harry gently cut her off.

“I know.” He reassured her. “I didn’t mean it that way. I meant the training they gave me. God knows, I needed ... I need it. You already know what happens when I follow my emotions and not my head.”

Hermione nodded slightly.

“Rowena taught me a lot about mental control, spell seeds, meditation, and how to really memorize things.” He put his hands on Hermione’s shoulders. “She trained me to be a Ravenclaw.” He admitted seriously.

She looked at him critically. “She actually trained you that way?”

Harry nodded. “With a little time, I reckon I could do almost as well as you do in school.” He said quietly. “Almost. You’re far too brilliant for me to even think about catching up.”

“Harry ...” Her face blushed despite herself. “I do as well as I do because I work at it ... You and Ron never took studying seriously ... I’m not ...”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Hermione.” Harry tipped her face back up so she was looking at him. “Everyone who trained me recognizes how intelligent, crafty, clever ... how brilliant you are. The professors see it ... the students see it ... basically everyone who has met you sees it. Do not doubt that.”

“When did this turn into a pep-talk for my insecurities?” She asked with a slight grin. Harry smiled back and pulled her in for a quick kiss.

“It came up because you doubt yourself ... I doubt myself as well, it’s human.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispered as she settled against him.

“Don’t apologize.” Harry said equally quietly. “I’m tired of apologizing and I’m tired of hearing you apologize ... I’m still going to make mistakes and hopefully they won’t be as big as that blundering idiocy that I just committed. You’ll make them too. Just remember that I’m going to be here for you even if something happens and we break up ...”

“Don’t say that.” She said sternly from his chest.

“I’m not saying we will.” Harry replied after he kissed the top of her head. “I’m just saying that if it happens, and I don’t want it to,” he added quickly, “but if it does, I will be here for you.”

"I'll be here for you too, Harry..." She looked into his eyes for a moment then closed hers as his face slowly moved towards hers and their lips met.

They kissed slowly at first. A tender moment while their arms encircled each other and fingers fled through locks of hair, then it became more passionate and raw. They fell to the mattress with Harry above her and her hands slid down his sides to the bottom of his shirt. His hands had slipped to the hem of the over-sized T-shirt and started up her thighs to rest on the hem of her panties. Hermione let out a soft moan and Harry pulled away breathing hard with a look of pain on his face.

“Harry? Are you ok?” She looked at him worriedly and sat up to comfort him.

He put a hand on her arm and nodded. “I don’t think I’m quite ready to go so far ...” He panted. “Could you rub my back? It started to spasm a bit.”

She nodded and began massaging his back like Madam Pomfrey had shown her. “Harry, I’m s ...”

“Don’t apologize.” He said quietly. “I didn’t know so how could you have?” He summoned a brief smile before he grimaced. “Yeah, right there ...”

“Ok, no apology then.” She said with a small smile. “We’ll just be careful from now on ...” She concentrated on the spot that he had indicated and pressed her thumbs into the knot that had formed. “Did Madam Pomfrey tell you how long it would take for your body to fully heal?” She asked after a few moments of concentrated massage.

“Mmm ... She didn’t tell me last time I went in for a checkup.” He said sleepily. “I’m supposed to talk to her again in the morning.”

Hermione nodded and bent down to kiss the back of his neck. “How does that feel?”

He stretched his arm out gingerly and sighed. “That did the trick. Thank you.”

She rolled him over so he was on his back and snuggled in the crook of his neck again. “Do you want to keep talking?” She asked quietly.

Harry shook his head. “We have exams in a week ... Why don’t we get some sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, ok?”

Hermione sighed in resignation. “Alright.” She looked into his eyes as he cupped her chin with his thumb and index finger. “I love you, Harry.”

“I love you too.” He said quietly and kissed her chastely on the lips. She laid her head back on his chest and pulled the covers over the both of them. “I thought Professor Dumbledore said you couldn’t sleep here?”

“I don’t care right now.” She said sleepily. “If worse comes to worse, I’ll move to my room later.”

Harry yawned and stroked her hair gently. “Goodnight, Hermione.”

“Goodnight.” She whispered back.

A large smile crept onto his face as he drifted off to a comfortably warm sleep. Visions of his parents and Sirius came to him. They smiled and waved as if they were in a wizarding photograph. Merlin, Rowena, Helga, and Godric smiled at him next as his eyes fluttered closed for the final time that night. Salazar was thankfully absent. The only thing he felt was warmth in his heart and the warmth of Hermione as she snuggled closer into him with her arm pulling him into a tight hug.

A/N: Well, there might be one or two more chapters (Have to explain the whole ‘talking to Ron’ scenario, don’t I) but this will be it for a little bit. I’ve answered a few questions dealing with this fic in Author’s Notes but you can check out my Live Journal (check my bio) for more.

Until next chapter!

-Curt

9. Couples Therapy

CHAPTER NINE

Couple’s Therapy

“Your body seems to be healing well.” Madam Pomfrey said after examining the young man who was sitting across from her at the desk. “You weren’t in the best physical condition to begin with, but with this exercise schedule from Madam Hooch and this nutrition guide, you should be better than when you left last year.”

Harry nodded quietly and took the two small booklets.

“There are instructions on how to find the exercise rooms and you are to give this menu to the house elves in the kitchen, they will see that your dietary requirements are prepared for your meals.” She said handing him yet another piece of parchment.

“So, I’m ready to be more active then?” He asked with baited breath. He really wanted to be able to finish what he and Hermione started the other night but the cramping in his back was quite the deterrent.

“Nothing to strenuous, that’s why you’re being prescribed exercise.” She smiled knowingly. “I’m sure you and Miss Granger can work things out for yourselves ...” Harry glanced up at her a little too quickly and she smiled. “Oh, don’t go thinking that I don’t know what’s going on.” She said with a smile. “It was only a matter of time with such close proximity to one another ... Be careful, we don’t want any relapses with your spine, it took quite a shock and there are at least four more months of potions to return you to full health.”

Harry nodded again and sighed. “Thanks for everything, Madam Pomfrey.” He said quietly. With a glance to his watch, he stood and smiled slightly. “I have another appointment before classes start.”

“Right then, off you go.” She said with a wave of her hand. Harry didn’t waste any time and was soon walking into his room. Hermione was still sound asleep in his bed. He sat beside her and after brushing her hair from her face, kissed her gently on the cheek.

“Hmm? What time is it?” She yawned and stretched gingerly before fully turning to face Harry. A smile crept along her face and she took his hand in hers. “Morning.”

“Morning to you too.” Harry responded with a smile. “I-I’ve got a question to ask.” He stammered as he blushed and looked to their entwined hands.

“What is it?” She asked with a bit of concern hinged in her voice.

He looked to her questioning face and smiled reassuringly. “It’s nothing bad, really. I-I was just wondering if you’d come with me to therapy today.”

“You want me to?” Hermione’s eyes brightened at the prospect and she pulled herself into a sitting position to better gauge his request.

He nodded and looked into her eyes. “I think it’s time. Besides, you know more about what happened than Dr. Mudds does and I want you to be a part of that now. If that’s ok ...”

Hermione smiled and pulled him into a tight hug. “Of course it’s ok.” She whispered to him. “When do you have to meet him?”

“In an hour.” He admitted. “I saw Madam Pomfrey a little earlier than planned so that you could have time to get ready ...”

She smiled at her boyfriend and pulled him into a kiss. “Thank you, Harry. I think an hour would be more than enough time. I’ll be back in a little bit, why don’t you get some rest?”

“I could use a little nap ...” He smiled as she extracted herself from the covers. “See you in a little bit then.”

Harry watched as Hermione walked from the room. She stopped at the door and winked at him playfully before she closed it behind her. After a few minutes of staring at the door he lay back and looked thoughtfully at the ceiling. The words of Rowena began to echo in his mind and after reviewing the meditation for restful awareness, Harry began following its instructions.

Clear the mind, breathe deeply, serene scenery, breathe deeply ... Through the mental mantra, he kept his eyes open and they glazed over. His heart rate slowed and his breathing grew even. He felt the room grow into sharp focus and he began to see the ribbons of light that Merlin called The Dragon. He watched those swirls subconsciously and noted the wards around the room. As he fell deeper into the trance, he was able to pick out the different components of each ward, their strength, and noticed an abrupt change in the flow of magic. Concentrating on that change, Harry discovered a malformed ward and began to right the inconsistency.

“Harry ... Harry wake up ...”

He shook his head as he pulled out of his trance and looked into the smiling face of the young woman in front of him. “What’s wrong?” He asked quietly.

“It’s time to go.” She said with a smile and offered him a hand. “You had fallen asleep with your eyes open ...”

“Actually, I wasn’t sleeping, I was meditating ...”

“Meditating?”

“Yeah.” He replied. “It’s the meditation for Restful Awareness.” He explained when he saw her inquisitive look. “It has a number of beneficial side effects. Longer life, increased healing, and best of all, it allows me to get the equivalent of a full night’s rest in about four hours. No dreams at all.”

“Let me know the next time you do that, ok? It took me fifteen minutes to wake you up.” She laughed and Harry swore he heard small bells tinkling in the air.

“I will.” He said with a chuckle. “I did find something interesting and I’ll have to talk to Professor Dumbledore about it. I fixed a malformed ward. If the magic flow is any indication, it could have meant that Voldemort had a way to get into the castle with little problem. It might be part of the reason why he was able to enter my dreams so easily from outside the castle.”

“Really?” She looked at him in surprise. “I thought the wards were sound ...”

“They’ve been around for over a thousand years, Hermione.” Harry said with a slight grin. They were on their way through the common room by this point, walking hand-in-hand. “They were bound to start decaying sooner or later. They might need to be reinforced.”

They continued talking casually about the strength of the various wards and how he was able to discover why the one was malformed when they stopped in front of a rather large portrait of an elderly wizard smoking a cigar.

“Oedipus.” Harry said with a slight grin at the look on Hermione’s face. The portrait slid sideways to reveal the entrance to the school psychologist’s office. “Recognize him?” He said with a grin.

“Isn’t that?”

“Yeah.” Harry said with a laugh. “Who would have thought to look here?”

Hermione shook her head and followed behind her boyfriend. After their short walk through the revealed tunnel, they took a seat on a very comfortable couch and waited patiently for a few moments. Hermione looked at the various certificates on the walls and raised an eyebrow.

“Finurge?” She asked quietly.

“That’s my name.” A tall, average-built man with spectacles and grey hair said from a now open door. “Doctor Finurge Mudds, and you must be Hermione?”

Hermione smiled shyly and took the offered hand. “That’s right, Doctor.”

The doctor laughed and shook her hand jovially. “No need to be shy, Harry and I have talked about you quite often.” He laughed again at the look she sent Harry’s way.

“Well, I talk about my feelings here.” Harry said with a flinch.

“If it makes you uncomfortable, you can wait here while Harry and I have our session.” Dr. Mudds said in a serious tone.

“I’m ok.” She said quietly. “Do you still want me here, Harry?” She looked up to her boyfriend and relaxed at his smile.

“Of course I do.” He replied with a reassuring squeeze of her hand. “I want you here ...”

Satisfied who would be attending the session Dr. Mudds escorted the two of them into his office and closed the door quietly behind them. After locking the door and setting the silencing charms with a wave of his wand, he crossed to his desk and pulled out a few rolls of parchment and a QuickQuotes quill. Settling comfortably in a chair across from the two of them he smiled comfortingly and unrolled one of the scrolls.

“We’ve pretty much covered how you feel about Hermione, Harry.” He said as he read the parchment and glanced up to see Harry’s nod. “Why don’t we get to the root of your problem then ...”

Harry took Hermione’s hand in his and held it tightly before clearing his throat. “Right ... Well, I told you why I came back, for the most part ...” He said nervously. “I guess it’s time to talk about why I did it in the first place ...”

Hermione looked from Harry to the doctor but remained quiet. Doctor Mudds nodded for Harry to continue.

“To tell you the truth, I don’t know why I did ... but I do know why I fell so far this time.”

“This time?” Hermione asked quietly.

“Hermione, please let him speak. We’ll get to that soon enough.” Dr. Mudds said with an encouraging smile. Hermione nodded and settled back to keep her attention on Harry.

Harry smiled at her and nodded. “I’ll get to that ... I don’t know if you realize where I’ve lived, Dr. Mudds?”

The older man nodded. “You’ve been staying with muggle relatives of yours, am I correct?”

Harry nodded. “I have, but they weren’t the nicest of people.”

“They were your relatives ... How bad could they be?”

Harry sighed. “I lived in a cupboard under the stairs for eleven years.” He said matter-of-factly. “I was treated like I was nothing, then as a slave when I could do chores around the house.”

A startled look crossed the doctor’s face for a moment but he nodded for Harry to continue.

“For most of my life, I’ve been told that the only people who will ever love me are dead. Everyone knows what happened to my parents, so I don’t think I need to go over that again.” Harry fidgeted in his seat. “Every day I lived with them, I was told over and over that I wasn’t worth the hand-me-downs I got from my cousin. They asked why I was so stupid and kept calling me a freak. I grew up listening to all the put downs and getting beat up by my cousin and his friends.

“Whenever I stood up for myself, I would be punished and locked in the cupboard with little to eat for days at a time. It really got bad when my uncle came home from a bad day of work. He’d beat me and put me down because I was the cause of his troubles. I wasn’t molested, thankfully, but being thrown around by the scruff of my neck wasn’t all that fun.” Harry looked up and noted the look of shock on the doctor’s face and the concern and sympathy in Hermione’s. He cleared his throat and concentrated on her hand and holding it.

“Well, with all the abuse I got at home, school wasn’t much better. No, not here at Hogwarts.” He added quickly. “At the primary school I went to. Dudley and his friends scared everyone away so I could never make friends. Other children started shunning me and making an effort of not being seen around me. They were all afraid of getting beat up, I reckon. Well, I did the only thing I could think of, I pushed all that anger and sadness as deep inside me as I could and made it look like I didn’t care. Oh, sure, I knew that real families weren’t like mine, if you could call it a family, but I went along as if everything was perfectly fine.

“After I got accepted to Hogwarts, things really changed. People wanted to talk to me. Everyone, actually, because of my scar ... because of what I did and didn’t remember. They called me a hero for living through an unstoppable curse. They didn’t know what I lived through. Sure, it wasn’t as bad as some children have ...” He sighed quietly before continuing. “Anyway, when I met Hagrid, Ron, and Hermione I thought things were finally turning around. Then things started to happen, the philosopher’s stone, the basilisk ...” He looked at his girlfriend and squeezed her hand. “Finding out that I had a godfather, Cedric dying ... My godfather dying ... Hermione almost ...” He stopped and wiped a tear from his cheek and Hermione tightened her grip this time.

“Well, I thought she did but she was lucky. It seemed like everyone I cared about was being taken away from me or leaving me. Last summer was the first time I actually thought about it. It would have been so easy to just do nothing, to waste away so I could be with them again, to see them again ...”

“Who, Harry?” Dr. Mudds asked quietly. “Your parents?”

Harry nodded. “Mum, Dad, my godfather ... At the time it felt like they were the only ones who cared about me. I know I had friends, but I wanted to be loved. I wanted to feel what it was like to hug my mother or to see my father smile proudly at me. I wanted to see them, to be with them. I never had the chance that almost everyone else had.”

“What changed your mind then?”

“Hermione did.” Harry said confidently as he looked at her. “It was our talks and you just being there.” He said with a smile. “But one day you started acting strangely and I thought you were trying to pull away from me.”

“I was worried, Harry.” She said quietly. “I didn’t mean ...”

“I know.” He smiled softly at her. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it and I didn’t know why. I tried to tell you how I felt several times but something always got in the way. I guess Christmas Eve I couldn’t handle it any more. I remember feeling very alone and unwanted ...” He nodded when Hermione attempted to speak. “I know I was wrong and what I did was incredibly, brilliantly stupid. I’m not sure if I could handle holding in all my emotions at that point and I also think that’s what’s been my main weakness.” He looked to Hermione and smiled. “It wasn’t your fault, Hermione, it was all mine. My inability to control myself. I just kept everything bottled up inside and I lost it in the end ...”

“I’m sorry, Harry.” She said concernedly.

“You don’t have to apologize. I’ve had emotional problems for a long time now. For a while I didn’t even know what love was but I know a bit now. You, my godfather, Ron, and Lupin have shown me several sides of it and I know that my uncle was wrong.”

“That’s a good first step, Harry.” Dr. Mudds said with a smile. “I’m going to talk to Madam Hooch regarding your physical therapy. I want to add self-defense to your schedule so you can protect yourself when you need to.”

Harry nodded and squeezed Hermione’s hand once again. He wanted to do more but in the presence of his therapist he felt he should keep his affection light. The pressure she exerted on his hand in return comforted him and lifted some of the doubts about Hermione leaving him after this session.

“Is there anything else you’d like to discuss?”

Harry nodded and cleared his throat. “I learned if you can’t control your emotions, you’ll make more mistakes than normal. I haven’t told you this, Doctor, but while I was unconscious I dreamed that the Founders of Hogwarts and Merlin trained me. It seems strange, if you think about it, and I reckon I had those dreams because I want to keep those I care about safe.”

“Dreams? Would you like to discuss them?”

“There really isn’t much to tell.” Harry replied cautiously. “I learned about the different aspects of the four houses and some of the history of magic. I think I was incorporating what Hermione was reading to me into my dreams and if what I learned is any indication, I should be ready for my N.E.W.T.s now ...” He winked at Hermione and smiled when she let out a snort of laughter. “You read quite a few books to me, you know that?”

“Ginny suggested it might help with your grades ...” Hermione quipped with a return wink.

Dr. Mudds smiled at the banter between the young couple and cleared his throat. “I can see that you are healing and we’re making some progress. I think you should talk to your other friends before our next session.”

Harry’s expression went serious and he nodded that he’d understood.

“Our time is up for today, I’d like to see you in two weeks. We’ll keep the time the same.”

“Do you want to keep coming with me?” Harry whispered to the young woman seated next to him. “If you don’t, I understand.”

“Of course I do.” Hermione replied with a smile. “If you want me here, I’ll be here.”

“Then I assume I’ll be seeing you as well?” Dr. Mudds smiled at Hermione’s nod. “Very good then. You have an hour before your first class, Harry, I suggest you eat a healthy breakfast and follow the nutritional guide Madam Pomfrey has provided you.”

Harry stood and offered his hand to Hermione who took it with a slight smile. “See you in two weeks, Doctor.” He said as they left the now unlocked room.

The couple walked to their suite in companionable silence and retrieved their books for the day before heading to breakfast in the Great Hall. The day went by rather quickly and Harry quickly proved to Hermione that the training he received was of rather high quality.

Before lunch, Harry visited the headmaster and explained what he’d seen in the wards and how he fixed the anomaly.

“Where did you learn this?” Professor Dumbledore asked from behind his desk. He hadn’t spoken with Harry, save from his daily visits when the young man was comatose, since the beginning of the first term.

“I dreamed that Merlin and the Founders trained me.” Harry said matter-of-factly. “Rowena taught me how to recognize the seed pattern of magical effects and Merlin showed me how to see the ... Well, to see the Dragon.”

“Ah, our forbearer’s theory of collective life.” Dumbledore said with a small smile. “I’ve researched this topic myself and have some successes with determining the flow of life force from one being to the next.”

“Actually, it flows from everything to everything.” Harry explained without thinking about it. “The energy you refer to as life force is partially correct. It connects both living and non-living things.”

“I hadn’t heard about the non-living aspect ...” Albus steepled his long fingers and thought on the explanation that Harry provided. “How is it that you were able to see Merlin’s Dragon?”

“I used a meditation technique that Rowena taught me. It’s called the meditation of Restful Awareness. When I was in the meditative state, I could follow the paths around the room and that’s when I found the malfunctioning ward.” He went on to explain how he’d manipulated the components of the magical barrier and righted what was wrong. After which he went into a slight dissertation on seed magic and glossed over the various aspects of what could be done with it.

“There aren’t any texts on seed magic.” The wizened wizard commented after Harry had finished the summary of what he’d learned. “I don’t think that Miss Granger could have imparted that knowledge to you from her daily readings.”

Harry didn’t look surprised at the news. “I thought as much.” He said simply. “Perhaps there was some benefit to my actions, though reckless they were.”

“They were reckless, Harry.” Albus said sternly. “Do you know why you didn’t die? Most people would have after a fall of that magnitude.”

Harry sighed. “I reckon it has to do with the Prophecy.” He said dejectedly. “The only way I’ll die is if Voldemort kills me himself, I can’t take my own life.”

“That’s not entirely true.” The headmaster said evenly. “You are mortal, Harry, and you can die by the hands of someone other than Voldemort. You are correct that you cannot take your own life due to the power of the prophecy.”

Harry nodded his understanding. “I’ll be paying for my stupidity for a while, according to Madam Pomfrey. I assume she’s been keeping you informed?”

“Of course.” He replied with the tell-tale twinkle in his eyes. “I wouldn’t be able to look after those in my charge if I weren’t apprised of the conditions of them.” He smiled and nodded. “Yes, I have spoken with Dr. Mudds. He is under wizarding contract to never divulge what he hears from those he treats however he has informed me of your need for self-defense classes and further therapy for abuse?”

“Aunt Petunia seems to let Uncle Vernon do as he wishes. He loses his temper and I’m usually the target he releases his stress on.” Harry said blankly. “It’s much more verbal and emotional than physical, but I do get some of that from time to time. Nothing like what’s appeared on the news or in the papers but it’s enough to let Dudley think beating on me is fine. If not for the blood magic and the protective spells I would ask if I could be moved somewhere else.”

“We’ll look into that, Harry. The way the protections work is still being researched but it may just be as simple as spending one week a year in the house.” He smiled at hope reflected in Harry’s eyes. “It’s nice to see hope from you, Harry, but we’re still uncertain how the measures your mother set in motion actually work, it is very ancient magic and Lily was a marvelously brilliant witch.”

“I hope to learn more about her, one day.” Harry said with a distant smile. “Not too soon, mind you, but when my time is really here.” He added at the look of concern on his headmaster’s face.

“You will see them again and it makes me glad that you realize there is quite the span of time still available to you before that happens. Now, you should head on to lunch, I hear the house elves have prepared a wonderful dish for you today.”

Harry smiled and excused himself from the office. He quickly made his way to the Great Hall and found his usual seat by Hermione and across from Ron waiting for him. The three friends ate in silence and finished their classes for the day. On their way back from Defense Against the Dark Arts, Harry fell into step with Ron.

“Alright, Harry?”

“Alright, you?”

“I’m fine.” Ron replied quietly.

“Ron, I think it’s time we talked.” Harry said as he placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder to keep him from hurrying off.

A/N:I know it's been a bit, but I got in the mood to finish this chapter :) One more to go and I'm not sure how long it will be until this is updated again, so don't be upset!
-Curt

10. EPILOGUE

CHAPTER TEN

EPILOGUE

“I’d like to, Harry, can I meet you in your room after dinner?” Ron said hurriedly as he looked at his watch. He glanced around the corridor briefly and smiled apologetically. “I know it’s important, but I have to be somewhere in a few minutes.”

Harry nodded and released his friend. “See you after dinner, Ron.” He said quietly. Hermione took his hand and the couple watched Ron dash off into the sea of bobbing heads heading for their respective houses. “Where do you think he’s off to?” He asked before they too set off for the Gryffindor tower.

“I don’t know.” Hermione replied with a shrug. “Truthfully, I haven’t paid much attention...” She said with guilt laced in her tone of voice.

“I think I saw when you two broke up.” Harry said quietly as they pushed through another tapestry.

“What?” Hermione said louder than she’d planned. “You were unconscious!”

“You were reading to me when Ron came into the room.” Harry said with a sigh. “At first you didn’t want to go, the two of you argued and you kissed him on the cheek. After you talked for a few hours in the suite’s common room, you hugged and both of you went back into the room.” Harry finished and looked up to see her eyes wide.

“How did you know?” She asked in a whisper. “You weren’t awake!”

When Merlin taught me about what he calls the dragon, I saw everything in a crystal.” Harry explained. “We were in a cave that had thousands of crystals in the walls, ceiling, and floor. I didn’t hear what was said but it looked like you two broke up then and Ron seemed to be ok with it all.”

Hermione looked to the floor and nodded. “He was still angry, but he told me that it was obvious who I was in love with and he stepped back.” She sighed and looked to her boyfriend. “I didn’t mean to hurt him, Harry. I really didn’t.”

“I know, Hermione.” Harry said reassuringly.

“We talked about a lot of things, really.” She said after a moment. “He told me that it was best for the three of us if I stayed with you and he told me of the dream he had...”

“I’ve got to talk to him about that.” Harry said quietly. “I visited both of you, as I said, and I need to let him know that...”

They didn’t say much more as they continued on their path to their rooms. The entire way, they were hand-in-hand, comfortable with just being together.

Dinner time rolled around shortly after they had dropped off their books and they stopped by the Hospital Wing for Harry’s next potion treatment. Ron wasn’t present when they arrived and he still hadn’t arrived by time they’d finished. With a collective sigh, they retired to their private common room and as Hermione did her homework, Harry stared blankly at the fire, trying to formulate what he would tell Ron.

“Sorry I didn’t see you at dinner.” Ron said as he stepped into the room. “I lost track of the time and had to go to the kitchens for something to eat.”

“That’s alright.” Harry said as he motioned to a chair. “It gave me some time to think.”

Ron sat in the offered chair and bit into an apple. “So,” he said as he crunched on the fruit. “You wanted to talk?”

Harry nodded. “I need to tell you quite a bit.” He turned and smiled at Hermione. “You don’t have to leave.” He said quietly as she started packing her books. “I’d rather you stayed.”

“Are you sure?” She asked hesitantly then relaxed at his nod.

“Ron, there’s quite a bit I need to tell you, like I said, some of it dealing with the Department of Mysteries...” Harry smiled reassuringly when Ron stiffened slightly. “I know about your nightmares, it was hard to miss them when you screamed in your sleep.”

Ron blushed and immediately found a thread in the chair vastly interesting. “Sorry, I didn’t know that I’d woken you up...”

“Don’t apologize, Ron.” Harry said quietly. “Those brains did a number on you and I’m surprised that you’re doing so well without sleep.”

“I sleep.” Ron said defensively.

“I know, I was there when we won the Quidditch cup the last time you dreamed.” Harry said as he looked to his feet.

“What?” Ron said evenly.

“After I’d jumped, I was given a chance to learn some new magical skills or spend eternity in a place called the Pit of Despair.” Harry said quietly. He felt Hermione’s hands on his shoulders immediately after he’d tensed at the recollection. Harry placed a hand on hers and sighed. “Mildly put, it was Hell, at least for me.” He explained. “Imagine your worst fears and then imagine having to face them over and over without getting over them.”

Ron paled as Harry’s words sunk in. “You-you mean sp-spiders?”

Harry shook his head. “This fear goes deeper than a boggart, Ron. My boggart was a dementor, maybe I’m over that fear.” He said thoughtfully. “But when I was there, it was a writhing mass of people trying to pull me in with them, clutching...” He visibly shuddered and shook his head. “I’ll just say it wasn’t pleasant.” Hermione had seated herself next to Harry, taking his hand in hers as he retold what he’d seen. “I can’t really describe how bad it was without remembering it...”

“Don’t then.” Hermione said softly.

Harry nodded. “I chose training.” He said more confidently. “The entire time I was sleeping here, I was actually learning different things from the founders of Hogwarts and Merlin himself.”

“Merlin?” Ron asked incredulously. “You hit pretty hard, Harry...”

“Ron, it’s not funny.” Hermione said evenly.

“It’s alright.” Harry said with a pat on her arm. “Ron, you were dreaming of winning the Quidditch cup, Malfoy banished my broom and I flew to the snitch without it, winning the game.” Harry said quite seriously. “You crashed into Jack and I told you to watch over Hermione.”

Ron’s eyes went wide. “Y-you were there then...” He said in a harsh whisper. “Bloody hell! What do you get off making me feel like you weren’t coming back, Harry!” Ron said as he shot to his feet.

“It wasn’t my intention to make you feel bad, Ron.” Harry said calmly. “I visited Hermione as well, I wanted you both to know that I was fine and I’d be coming back.”

“Yeah, good job you did with that!” Ron spat angrily. “I thought that Malfoy pushed you off the tower! Everyone told me there wasn’t a chance that would happen, but I pieced it together after a while!”

“What did you piece together, Ron?” Hermione asked testily.

“He jumped because of me, because of us!” Ron shouted as angry tears spilled from his eyes.

“I didn’t do anything because of you, Ron.” Harry said softly. “There’s more to my past that you don’t know, that you’d never have guessed.” He explained as he stood to start pacing.

“Harry, you have to sit down, Madam Pomfrey said the potions won’t help you recover if you’re up and active.” Hermione scolded as she guided him back to the sofa.

Harry sighed and instead leaned back against the soft cushions. “Ron, please sit down and let me finish...”

Ron looked at his best friend and frowned but did sit down. “If it wasn’t me or Hermione, then what was it then?” He asked bitterly. “You told me you knew about us, Harry...”

“I’ll get to that.” Harry said quietly. “First, you need to know just how bad it is at the Dursleys’.” Harry continued on to tell Ron about his youth, living in the cupboard under the stairs, the constant mental and emotional abuse interspersed with rare bouts of physical abuse. He described in detail what Harry Hunting was and the undernourishment he suffered through. “You see, there was much more that was there.” Harry explained. “Realizing how I felt about Hermione and finding out, quite by accident, that you two had been dating hit me completely by surprise and reopened all those old memories and feelings that I thought I’d buried away.”

Ron had winced and shuddered at the punishments Harry had gone through and by the end of the telling, he was looking at Harry with wide eyes. “Professor Dumbledore should be told all of this!” He said after a moment. “If that doesn’t get you out of that place then nothing will!”

“Fortunately, Harry can leave when he’s seventeen.” Hermione said with a sigh of relief.

“I’ve been told that I have to spend a week at the Dursleys each year for the protections to continue to work.” Harry said calmly. “I think I can handle that...”

“No, Harry!” Hermione said firmly. “You can stay with my family!”

“Or the Burrow!” Ron said excitedly. “We can take you straight from King’s Cross!”

Harry shook his head. “Dumbledore is looking into it and they’ve been researching what my Mum did.” He admitted with a glimmer of hope sparkling in his eyes. “Maybe I can keep away from them, stay in my room or something then apparate to either of your places after that.”

“Apparate?” Ron said with a puzzled look on his face. “But you haven’t taken the exam yet, you don’t even have the proper training.”

“Yes I do.” Harry said with a slight smile. “Remember what I was saying about the founders and Merlin?” Ron nodded eagerly. “Well, I learned quite a bit, Apparation is one of them.”

“Rowena?” Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow.

Harry nodded. “There are some advanced topics I want to talk to you about, Hermione, but that can wait for now...” Harry turned to Ron. “I learned a few new forms of magic, what loyalty and courage actually are, and Merlin showed me how to interpret the dragon.” He smiled at the confused look on Ron’s face and was happy to see that Hermione was nodding in recognition. “The dragon is a force that binds everything together, person to person, person to stone, stone to sky, and so on. Think of it as ribbons of magic that surround everything.”

“So, you’re saying that there’s a ribbon of magic between me and Malfoy?” Ron asked disbelievingly.

Harry nodded. “And Voldemort, Pettigrew, the slugs you threw up in second year, the spiders in the forbidden forest...”

“Alright! I get the idea!” Ron said quickly. “But this stuff must be really advanced, how could you have learned it all? You have to do special research just to know about it.”

“My guess is that time flows differently where Harry was.” Hermione said matter-of-factly. “That and the meditations that Rowena taught him.”

Harry laughed. “Yes, she taught me several meditative techniques that I used to memorize and story everything she taught me. It seemed like a few weeks went by to me, but there wasn’t a change of time as we know it, I could have been there for the equivalent of several years instead of weeks or even days.” Harry shook his head. “There are some things about the realm of the dead that I don’t understand and I think I never crossed over...”

“Enough of this crossing over and dead talk.” Ron said with a hint of distaste. “You’re getting better now and that’s what matters.”

Harry smiled at his best friend. “Can you forgive me for being so stupid?” He asked hopefully.

“I don’t blame you, Harry.” Ron said reassuringly. “And after what you’ve told me, I don’t blame Hermione or me either, though we should have paid more attention to you at the time.”

“Everyone was blind, Ron.” Harry said with a pat on his shoulder. “Dumbledore didn’t even know.”

Ron nodded. “Don’t let that stuff stay bottled up anymore, ok? I don’t want a repeat of Christmas.”

Harry nodded. “I know, and again I’m sorry.” He rubbed his eyes and felt himself grow groggy.

“It looks like the delayed sleeping draught is taking effect.” Hermione announced as she caught hold of Harry’s arm and helped him to stand.

“It seems our talk is over.” Harry said sleepily.

“I’ll see you in the morning, mate.” Ron said as he helped Hermione support his weight and direct him to his bedroom. “I’ll help him change, Hermione, why don’t you get ready for bed?”

Hermione kissed Harry gently before smiling her thanks to Ron and rushing to her room to change.

“You’re lucky, mate.” Ron said as he helped his friend out of his clothes and into his pajamas. “Hermione’s one hell of a girl, if you hurt her, I’m going to kill you, you know that?”

Harry laughed and yawned at the same time. “I know, Ron.” He said as the room began to slide out of focus. Hermione reappeared just as Harry started to crawl into bed and she kissed Ron on the cheek.

“Thank you.” She whispered as she hugged her best friend.

Ron hugged her back and shrugged. “I should let you finish up, goodnight.” He smiled and left the room, closing the door behind him as he went. He peeked in just before the door closed fully and smiled a the scene unfolding before his eyes.

“Here, let me help you.” Hermione said with a slight laugh as she helped Harry maneuver under the blankets. His head hit the pillow and Hermione pulled his glasses off, setting them on the bedside table, before slipping under the thick blankets next to him.

“Good luck, mate, I’ve got your back.” Ron said quietly before Hermione said “NOX,” casting the room into darkness. He closed the door behind him and let out a sigh of relief. Ron looked at his watch and grimaced. “Luna’s going to kill me for being late...” With a renewed burst of energy, Ron Weasley trotted out of the room to meet his girlfriend in the Room of Requirement.

A/N: Well, there we have the conclusion, not too long, and I’m sorry about that, but Heartbroken is now finished! I had to struggle a bit to come up with the last two chapters seeing that I’d completed the requirements of the challenge when Harry woke up to find Hermione. Sorry it’s taken so long to write this last, tiny chapter! Thanks for reading!