Let Me Fall

TrinitYMalfoY527

Rating: NC17
Genres: Angst
Relationships: Draco & Ginny
Book: Draco & Ginny, Books 1 - 5
Published: 16/05/2004
Last Updated: 16/05/2004
Status: completed

Well I don't think I have spoilers.. but you never know! Just an angsty, sad story I wrote when I wasn't feeling all that great. Please R/R! Oh, and most likely a one-time ficlet, but you never know..

Chapters

1. Let Me Fall

1. Let Me Fall

DISCLAIMER: None of this belongs to me. It all belongs to the WONDERFUL J.K. Rowling J She is the goddess that created them. Yup.

A/N: Just a short fic I wrote when I was upset at something... and a little depressed. Read and Review if you like!!

Let Me Fall

He stared silently now at the empty bed, the traces of her presence left only in the impression she’d made on the silken sheets. He knew it was nothing else, nothing more than a carnal urge that kept them together. The slowly rising globe of light cast a deep red slant of light through his window. He stared at the color, so similar to that of her hair, her luscious crimson hair that had been in his hands only an hour ago.

They both hated this lie they were living, each day continuing and passing acting as if both were content with the shallow expectations of the world. Neither of them believed that they were, and the deception ate at them, but both blatantly ignored the pain they were both feeling at this torment.

It was only physical hunger. Their emotions meant nothing.

She left early, before dawn, so that no one would notice her missing. He felt it terribly, despite what he told himself. He knew it was dangerous. It would never work. They could never be together. The fates were against them, everything and everyone they knew were so set in society, so closed off to anything that might slightly shake the foundation of their world.

He hated it, every minute of it.

There were times when he wondered what she felt about it all. She was so quiet about it, would never look him in the face when they were being intimate. To do so would mean something that neither of them could handle, at least at that moment. He also wondered if she could feel anything else. He shook his head. No, she had to feel the same way, or else she couldn’t look him in the eye and lie about it. If he couldn’t do it, how could she?

How they had come to be was still a mystery. Physically bumping into each other, being drawn magnetically to each other, that’s how it all started. But no one could have anticipated the deep emotion attached to that physical contact, the emotion both of them tried to hide, and had done well so far pretending apathy.

And this simple fascination had grown stronger and stronger, but they still refused to admit to anything at all. Raw, feral needs and occasional talking were the limits they set.

He was sick of it.

Just hours ago, right before she gave into her heaven, she’d glanced up at him, face filled with pleasure. He could have imagined that for a moment there was something else to their dance of deception. But it was not meant to be. Everything secular and maybe everything divine was set against their pairing. His palms fisted momentarily and he glared at the ceiling. That was the reason why there was the unspoken agreement not to look at each other. It would shatter their whole delusion, plummeting them towards reality and breaking this fragile bond they still desperately clung to.

Right afterwards, she’d gotten up right away and gathered her clothing, recklessly putting on enough for her to walk outside modestly. He knew exactly why she felt so scared, and he simply let her go. She needed to find herself and they both needed to find a way to release this tension. Their nightly escapes couldn’t calm their own anxieties.

He heard a knock on the door. His hands relaxed but his nerves were still frayed. He pulled on a bathrobe and walked slowly towards the door.

She stood there, eyes cast down to the floor, saying she’d forgotten something.

He couldn’t bear it anymore. He wrenched her head up and attacked her mouth recklessly.

She stiffened in total surprise and maybe a bit of fear. She had not expected this when she’d walked into the room, he knew. Then she clung to him fiercely and attacked back, just as demandingly.

For one day, she’d be late. She’d arouse suspicion.

As they attacked each other again, he picked her up, letting her wrap her legs around his waist. He carried her over back right where they’d done the exact same thing hours ago.

As he started ripping away the last barriers before he could lose himself, he considered what they could do. He could stop right now; let her carry on the life that would keep the cover over their secret life. But he knew he couldn’t do that.

She had her work cut out for her, as he wore only the robe. She tore at the ties and pushed the fabric off of him. Both of them ready now, he impaled himself on her. She was ready for him and as he began, she met each of his thrusts with just as much vigor. On and on they played this battle, their souls crying out for some escape; though the truth hurt more than the lies they kept on building.

And as they both reached their bliss, they stared straight into each other’s eyes, and he was shocked by a painful clarity that this was the way it had to be, if they wanted to stay together at all. He came back down from that shocking clarity and they both lay together, neither looking at the other, just lying together. This was how it’d have to be- if they were that desperate. They were.

So let me fall

If I must fall

I won’t heed your warnings

I won’t hear