Shadows and Dreams

Author’s Note: There’s really no introduction to this story, which chronicles the life of Lily Evans, from her sixth year at Hogwarts.

This is not strictly Ootp-friendly. It’s not at all AU, but some things, like the color of Sirius’s eyes, I changed because I love him better with blue-green eyes than whatever color J.K. Rowling claimed he had…what would she know anyway ;)…

Disclaimer: None of the following belongs to me. Let’s leave it at that.

Ok then, on with the story…

To be brief: It’s the start of sixth year at Hogwarts and Lily Evans personally can’t wait to get back to what she considers her real home. Maybe this year, the annoying James Potter will leave her alone. Or maybe, this year, she’ll find the love of her life…

Chapter 1: Back to Normal

Halfway through their journey back to Hogwarts, the witch with the cart came by. As Hestia Jones and Lily Evans came outside to buy Cauldron Cakes and Pumpkin Pasties from her, a commotion a few doors down caught their attention.

A greasy-haired, slick-faced boy with coal black eyes was standing halfway along the corridor, his wand out, pointing at another boy, whose black hair stood on end and looked as though it had never seen a comb. This second boy stood with a taller, rather handsome boy with dark brown hair and soulful blue-green eyes.

Peering curiously around the shoulder of the closest spectator of the tense scene, Lily noticed that the black-haired boy, whose dark hazel eyes were covered by the glasses he wore, also had his wand out, and that while the third did not, his hand was tightly clenched, inside his robes, around what was probably his wand.

Lily frowned in disgust. James Potter and Sirius Black. Again. She had never seen such troublemakers. You would think that after five years of the same they could settle down. But no, here they were, fighting Severus Snape. What a surprise. She turned to go but noticed Hestia, newly made prefect of Gryffindor start forward.

All thought of food pushed out of their minds, Lily followed as Hestia pushed her way through the crowd, until she was within hearing distance of the two. Then Hestia called, “Sirius Black!” The dark-brown-haired boy turned quickly around; spotting Hestia, a scowl suffused his handsome face and he turned back to Snape, sneering.

Lily stared at Snape’s sallow face and sensing her gaze, he momentarily shifted his eyes from James to gaze at her. It was like gazing into two dark tunnels. He continued to stare at her, for some reason; James caught the glance and used his chance to shout, “Furnunculus!”

Instantly, Snape broke his eye contact with Lily, small tentacles having erupted all over his face. Not completely defeated he cried, “Tarentallegra!” and James’ legs began dancing uncontrollably until his friend muttered something, which made them stop.

By this time, Hestia was close enough to have a grip on Sirius’s arm; she pulled him back through the crowd and grabbed James’s hand as well, leaving Snape staring resentfully after them, tentacles all over his face.

James had casually rumpled his hair and leaned towards Lily when he jumped backward, at the same time using one of his feet to kick Lily’s shins. The foot made contact, causing her to half-leap half-fall backwards as both saw something white flash past, inches from where James now stood, before evaporating into mist.

James growled, the blood draining from his naturally pale face and would have returned to the fight but instead saw Lily, sitting awkwardly on the floor and with a murderous glance at the back of the retreating Snape, turned to offer Lily his hand.

Glaring angrily at him she held onto the wall and gingerly put her left foot down only to have it buckle under her, so she nearly fell again. James caught her and ignoring her protests that she could walk, picked her up and carried her into the compartment where Hestia and Sirius were already sitting, glaring in opposite directions.

Hestia got up quickly as they came in, and even Sirius turned around, but on the contrary he grinned at James, then hastily pasted on a frown of concern. Sirius had learned to not let his real emotions show. James turned away from Lily then shook his head sadly, and Sirius’s frown melted into a sympathetic smile then the two began to edge out of the compartment.

Hestia noticed them go, and turned around, in time to see the edge of their robes vanishing around the corner. She ground her teeth in frustration then turned back to put a cast on Lily’s foot.

* * *

Two compartments down, James and Sirius were sitting with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, their two other friends and fellow Gryffindors from Hogwarts, who had seen the fight from a distance, but wanted to know details. Sirius told them while James stared moodily out the window.

Only Sirius knew what was bothering him, and Sirius would not say.

Remus frowned uncertainly then said, “You were out there much too long. It didn’t take that long to curse each other once.”

Sirius opened his mouth then when James shook his head, closed it again. “Sorry can’t say,” he said, not at all apologetically. Peter’s face fell.

Soon the witch with the cart came around and Peter and Remus went out to buy their food. As soon as they were outside the compartment, James said without preamble, “She hates me.” He knew Sirius knew what he was talking about; he always did. It was part of what made them such good friends.

Now Sirius wanted to lie and say it wasn’t true, but knew James wouldn’t believe him anyway, so he said, roughly careful, watching James’ face, “Tough, mate. Find someone else. You’ve been at it, what three years now? And she doesn’t even have a clue. Maybe if you just told her…”

“No,” James said flatly.

“Your choice, mate. Isn’t Hestia getting to be a prig? Just because she’s prefect. How she ever got into Gryffindor when she belongs in Hufflepuff I have no clue.”

James nodded automatically. Sirius hated Hestia, who despised him equally. According to her, Sirius was a Black and should therefore act like one. While she didn’t understand what made James get into so much trouble, she had an annoying theory that it was Sirius’s influence, for as everyone knew, all Blacks were in Slytherin except Sirius, who was in Gryffindor. He was therefore, she concluded, much to Sirius’s disgust and James’s amusement, a sort of spy and not to be trusted.

She had wanted to give him a punishment, he knew and it irked him that she should have that power over him. James sighed moodily and said, by way of ending the conversation, “I should’ve apologized,” a statement with which Sirius could not argue.

* * *

At the Start-of-Term feast that night, James looked carefully around the hall, then more closely at Gryffindor table, but there was no need. There was no dark-red head among the lot, no bright green eyes, no dazzling smile.

Although they usually sat at opposite ends of the long table, each with their groups of friends, James missed Lily’s frequent laughter and thought with a pang that she must be in the hospital wing.

He decided to skip dessert and go up and see her, so he slipped out of his chair and walked quietly out of Great Hall, his heart pounding.

The hospital wing was quiet and nearly all dark except for a light at the far end of the room. James walked toward it silently and paused for a moment, wanting to gather together his courage, before stepping into the circle of light.

The deep well of bravery that was inside James and that flared up at the first sign of a fight or a Quidditch match seemed nearly empty, but James stepped closer with a bravado he didn’t feel, and gazed for a moment at the pale figure on the bed before she looked up.

She had been reading and suddenly looked up to see a tall black shadow standing before her. She started then quickly sat up trying to make out the person’s face on which the light shone glaringly. The person was tall and though slender, rather muscular, and she could just make out a mop of untidy straight black hair before figuring out that it was James Potter. She spoke first, uncertainly. “James?” When there was no reply, she asked, even more uncertainly, “James Potter?”

James stepped forward so his face was out of the glaring light. Lily looked surprised to see him, but, he thankfully noted, not mad. “How are you?” he asked hesitantly, then hurried on, “I came to say sorry for…for,” but now that he was here in front of her he couldn’t remember what he was apologizing for.

Her green eyes were puzzled and in their depths James could see a reflection of himself. “I mean,” he said, in a stronger voice, “to say sorry for kicking you so hard. I didn’t mean to break your shin,” he finished rather lamely and for a moment there was silence.

He thought of edging backward though he was reluctant to leave her lying there, a slender pale-faced figure, before she smiled and said, “That’s all right. I mean, you didn’t kick me on purpose, did you forget? If you hadn’t, I think Snape’s spell might’ve got me instead of you.”

Then she laughed at the look of relief on his face, and said, “Is the feast over? Why’re you up so early?”

“Almost,” he said evasively, not wanting her to know he had skipped dessert.

“It smelled good,” she said a bit regretfully, then settling herself back on her pillows, she smiled roguishly up at him. “I think there’s still time for dessert you know.”

James reddened and he felt like disappearing through the floor. She knew he had skipped dessert. What would she think? If he asked her now, would she maybe go out with him? She didn’t seem mad at all, even though last year she had yelled in front of the whole school that she preferred the giant squid to him.

Before he could escape downstairs, she said seriously though with a little smile, “Thanks for coming. That makes it even doesn’t it?”

Glad for an excuse to talk about anything that would keep her mind off dessert, he said quickly, too quickly, he thought, “Even?”

“For yelling and embarrassing you in front of the whole school last year during exams, remember?” How could he forget? he thought, but he only grinned and said casually, “I guess it does.”

A hand started to go back up to his hair and she noticed the gesture, noticed also that all his composure was returning. “Go away now,” she said with a laugh, “before the real James comes back.”

He laughed as well, then turned around and walked out of the room quickly, then once out of earshot, bounded down the steps, hoping he was in time for some dessert. Life was back to normal.