Here With Me

WonkyKris

Rating: PG
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 31/05/2004
Last Updated: 31/05/2004
Status: completed

Harry Potter expected his day to go by normally. What he didn't expect was his life to change forever.

Chapters

1. Here With Me

1. Here With Me

A/N- This one-shot is a plot bunny that hopped through my head one night while I was trying to sleep, and wouldn't leave. I end it in a sort of-kind of-awkward way so forgive me, but the bunny only hopped so far. I want to thank Romy, Sandra, and Jennifer for their support/comments! Please read and review!!!

**********

That day had started out like any ordinary day. All I expected to do was wake up with Hermione beside me, have breakfast, go for a nice walk with Hermione, go to work, come home and have dinner, and then go to bed again, Hermione right there in bed waiting for me. But things didn't go the way I expected, and just small events have changed my life forever.

**********

As I said was normal, I woke up around 6. Hermione was still sleeping peacefully next to me. I smiled and leaned down, giving her a kiss on her temple. She squirmed in her sleep, making me grin. She never liked getting kisses on her face when she was sleeping.

I slipped out of bed and went to take a shower and when I got out, I noticed Hermione had already gotten up. There I smelled the scent of coffee from downstairs…

**********

I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist when I got into the kitchen. “Hey beautiful.”

“Hey handsome,” she said back, dropping her knife onto the cutting board and turning around. “You kissed me this morning,” she accused with a teasing glare.

I shrugged. “I couldn't help myself.”

She smirked. “What, you have no self-control, Mr. Potter?”

“Not when it comes to you, Miss Granger Soon-to-be-Potter.”

She smiled and leaned up to give me a kiss, which I greatly returned.

I started to notice something was wrong after breakfast. Usually, Hermione would be the first one ready for the walk and she would be down my throat if I weren't ready when she was.

“Hermione are you okay?” I called through the bathroom door. She had been in there for the past twenty minutes.

“Yes, yes I'm fine Harry,” she replied back, though her voice was a bit hesitant. “Why don't you go out and start walking? I'll catch up with you at the park.”

“Are you sure?” I really didn't want to leave her. She had been sick a few weeks back, and I was worried…

“Yes I'm sure. Don't let me keep you behind; you still have to go to work. Now go on.”

I looked at my watch. I'd have to be at work in thirty minutes. We would walk ten minutes to the park, stay at the park around ten minutes, and then I would apparate over to work. “Alright, I'll go ahead. Don't spend too much time looking into the mirror,” I said with a teasing tone.

I made my way to the door, and heard Hermione's reply right before I walked out. “No, that's your habit, Potter.”

**********

Hermione had never showed up at the park. I apparated back to the house, five minutes before I had to be at work. “Hermione?” I called through the house, looking through the kitchen, and living room.

I ran upstairs and into our bedroom, my breath getting caught in my throat as I opened the door. “Hermione,” I breathed out when I saw her lying on the bed on her stomach, reading.

She looked up. “Harry? What are you doing here? You have to be at work now!”

I was confused. “You never showed up at the park… What happened?”

She sighed. “Oh right, I'm sorry about that. Well, by the time I got out of the bathroom, I still didn't feel well enough to go anywhere…”

I crossed over the room and sat down on the bed. “You're sick? Are you okay?”

“I'm fine, it's probably just a passing flu, or it's still somewhat here from last time. I'll be okay.”

I wasn't convinced. When I peered into her face, it looked as though she was trying to avoid my eyes. But Hermione never really liked having people making a fuss over her, especially having me be the one making a fuss.

She took a hold of my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Go on to work Harry. It's not as if I've never been sick before. It's not uncommon,” she said with humor in her voice.

I still felt uneasy about leaving her, which made her laugh. “Harry stop giving me that look, you've seen me sick lots of times. It's not like I'm dying…”

Something in her voice me a bit uneasy… it seemed that she was trying to convince herself of that fact rather than me… but the look on her face was an amused one… I nodded and leaned over giving her a lingering kiss on the forehead. She moved her head up and met my lips in a soft gentle, innocent kiss. “I love you,” I whispered when we broke apart.

She smiled the smile I loved. “I love you too.”

**********

I had been at work for forty-five minutes before I heard the news. I had been in the kitchen grabbing a snack when I turned around and caught sight of Ginny Weasley. “Hey Ginny, what are you doing here? Here for Malfoy?” I asked with a wink. Ginny and Draco Malfoy had been dating for a month…

She walked up to me with an unreadable expression on her face. “Harry…”

I knew then something was wrong. A big lump seemed to be getting bigger and bigger in my throat. “What… what is it?”

She wet her lips and tears filled her eyes, until she found her voice and let it all rush out. “It's Hermione, Harry. She collapsed at your house shortly after you left. She's at St. Mungos now.”

I felt that all my oxygen had been forcibly taken away from me as the thoughts ran through my head. My Hermione, had collapsed… She was in the hospital…Herm… Mine… collapsed…

I quickly walked around Ginny to the door and apparted to find Hermione.

**********

I don't know how I made it to Hermione's floor of the hospital, for my mind seemed to have stopped. I never should have left her this morning. It wasn't just a passing flu…

When I walked up to Hermione's door, and a doctor with glasses was walking out. I stopped. “Are you Hermione's doctor?” I felt stupid for asking, but I didn't know what else to say… what else I could say.

The older man looked up. “You must be Hermione's fiancé, Harry Potter,” he commented as he stuck out his hand. “I'm Dr. Jameson.”

I nodded and shook his hand out of instinct, not exactly thinking clearly. “How is she? What's wrong with her?”

Jameson sighed and led me over to the chairs, motioning for me to sit down. I took the seat and swallowed the lump in my throat, afraid as to what he would tell me.

“I'm afraid I have some bad news concerning Miss Granger,” Jameson said as he took off his glasses and started wiping them. He sat down next to me. “Hermione has cancer.”

I sat frozen in my seat. I felt the blood in my face drain, my lungs losing air. “Ca… cancer?” I croaked out in a disbelieving voice.

He nodded sorrowfully. “She found out a few weeks ago that there was a possibility of it. We had been in the process of tests ever since… Our only guess is that it's been around in her family. I'm sorry.”

“She said her grandmother had died from it,” I said flatly.

He nodded. “I know…I guess I did think Hermione would tell you about this…”

I didn't understand it either. “Well, Hermione's never been the one to want people worrying about her…” I knew I was just making an excuse, and it was a petty one. “So what exactly happened today? Is it that serious?” Did I really want to know?

He sighed. “We are still running tests. We are afraid her condition may be more serious than we had anticipated.”

I sat back in my chair, feeling my world fall apart. They were still running tests, but they all thought it was bad… no hope.

A nurse came over to the doctor and he got up to talk to her, leaving me alone in my state of shock. I just sat there for a few minutes, though it seemed longer… How could Hermione have cancer? She was only 23, she was too young to have anything wrong with her. She had hopes and dreams of us getting married and raising a family. We were to grow old together, not be separated now.

An intense pain filled my body, but more my heart… a pain I never wanted to feel again. Tears stung my eyes… Hermione had been living with this fear for weeks… my eyes widened. Hermione never told me about this. When she had been sick those weeks, she said when she went to the doctor everything was going well. But it was then she found out about the cancer… and she never told me! All this time…

I found myself growing angry; angry that Hermione had cancer, angry that she didn't tell me, and angry that I was feeling like this. Like my whole life was gone.

I stood up, my eyes filled with angry tears. I went over to the doctor who was finishing up with the nurse. “I want to see her.”

He looked hesitant. “I'm not entirely sure that's the best idea at this time—”

I wouldn't let him finish. “I don't care what you think right now, but I need to see her,” I said almost desperately, knowing I could break down at any second.

By the look on his face I wondered if Hermione had asked him not to let me in, but I didn't care. I was going to talk to her.

**********

I quietly walked into her room, trying to keep my emotions under control. I didn't know what to feel. I wanted to be angry and upset with her for keeping the news from me, but I wanted to run to her side and cry, kiss her, just be with her, knowing there may come a time soon when I couldn't.

There she was, lying on her bed. Did she know what pain she had caused me? Did she care?

I took a few more steps, and she must have heard them for she turned her head around fast to look. I wanted to know what was going through her head. I wanted her to feel guilt… Or maybe I wanted to feel guilt.

But she surprised me. She offered me a smile. “Hi Harry,” she said with the smile.

A smile! I stopped in my tracks. How could she smile at a time like this? I stared at her long and hard. “Hi Harry? Hi Harry? How can you say that?”

She blinked, and looked down at her hands. “You're upset…” she stated quietly.

I took a few more steps. “Upset? No not really. Let's think about it. I find out that there is a chance the love of my life has cancer, and has known for the past few weeks. And she never told me!” I let that sink in…

I watched as she brought her hand up to her forehead. I needed to sit down, so I took the seat by her bed and just watched her. She didn't seem that upset over the whole thing… How could she not?

She took a deep breath. “You don't have to act this way… people die all the time. It's not that uncommon…”

That led me back to what she had said earlier, about how her being sick wasn't uncommon. She had known then what was probably wrong with her. I replayed it in my mind… “Harry stop giving me that look, you've seen me sick lots of times. It's not like I'm dying…” But she was dying, and she knew…

“You told me this morning… when you were sick, you knew what was wrong. You knew it wasn't the flu and yet you said it was.” I stood up and walked a bit around the room, trying to keep composure. I turned back to her. “How could you have done and said that? Don't you care at all about how I feel?”

“Of course I care, Harry,” she shot out. “That's why I didn't tell you. The doctor said there was a chance it was nothing, I didn't want to get worked up over nothing—”

“Over nothing?” I went to her side and took her hand, my eyes pleading with her. “You might have cancer, Hermione. It's something that kills you.”

“I know what it does,” she spat out. “Do you think I'm not scared? I've had to convince myself these past few weeks that everything is going to be okay. I haven't wanted to admit anything was wrong, I couldn't tell you!”

“Why not?” I yelled at her, my voice breaking.

“Because I couldn't admit it to myself,” she cried. “I didn't want to believe it, and I was afraid that if I told you, I would have to believe it…I was afraid that we wouldn't have been able to work through it…” Her tears fell now, her voice cracked. “And I didn't want to hurt you…”

We sat there in silence for a few moments, leaving each other to our own thoughts. She had been scared. My Hermione could have cancer, and she had been to scared to tell me about it. Don't get me wrong, it hurt that she felt that way…but I didn't feel as angry anymore.

She broke the silence. “Maybe I was wrong not to tell you,” she said in a soft, quiet voice. “No, I should have told you. But, I haven't been able to accept it…” She turned her head to the window. “Maybe it was also the fact that I didn't want people to know. I didn't want people to start treating me differently… If I had told you, soon more people would have found out, and then most likely the paper… and it might end with being nothing. I didn't want the whole world to know Harry,” she finished off in a hushed voice.

I brought her hand up to my mouth and kissed it, letting it linger there afterwards. There were things that needed to be spoken between us, yes. And soon, the tests would be done, and we would face them, whether they brought good news or sad. But right now, Hermione needed to know that I was there, and not going anywhere. “I'm not the whole world, Hermione,” I said.

She slowly turned her head and her eyes met mine. They were filled with tears… tears of sadness, regret, but also love. She looked down at our joining hands, and pulled them to her, caressing mine. She looked back at me. “No, you're not…but you're my whole world.”

**********

A/N- I know it's not the best ending, but I really couldn't think of anything to go on after that, so I'm letting you decide what the outcome is. Of course, if I do get an idea for a sequel, I'll put it up… Again please R & R… even if you hated this… (but be nice)