Always Flawed

theweirdgirl

Rating: R
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Draco & Ginny
Book: Draco & Ginny, Books 1 - 5
Published: 13/06/2004
Last Updated: 01/07/2005
Status: in_progress

The trials and tribulations of the one and only, Miss Ginny Weasley. WARNING: Contains eating disorder.

Chapters

1. Chapter 1

2. Chapter 2

3. Chapter 3

4. Chapter 4

5. Chapter 5

6. Chapter 6

7. Chapter 7

1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

“I'm never gonna be like anyone and that's okay.”

Bowling for Soup - Pictures he Drew

Perfect. That's what I'm not. Flaming red hair, unusually dull brown eyes, pale skin, dotted with hundreds of light freckles and small lips. Not to mention, an almost flat chest and a thin V-shaped figure. That's not what I would call perfect. I only have an 83 average. Nowhere near as good as Hermione. Sure, there are guys that take more than a casual interest in me, but there's no sparks or fireworks. Not even an electric jolt. Not that any guy has ever found me even remotely desirable seeing that Ron is an over-protective bastard. He almost killed me the last time that I tried to alter my robes to fit by non-existent “body” a little better. He freaked out. Believe you me, it's not a good thing to get caught in my wrath. I guess it's true what they say about redheads. Our tempers flare as much as our hair is, well, red. Today's date is August 25th. Just five more days until school starts again. Harry is over here as usual. I've gotten over the little puppy-crush years ago. I'm going into my sixth year, finally. Harry's going out with Luna Lovegood. I burst out laughing when I found out. That didn't go over too well with him. She's one of my best friends and I'll support her through thick and thin. Plus, I have the honor of beating the shit out of him if he breaks her heart. I'm no love guru, but I think they look good together and that they'll stay together… or else. How quaint. I'm listening to some muggle band called Rancid. They're quite good in my opinion. Hermione gave me this muggle contraption that they call a C.D. player and little round disks called C.D.'s. They play music that was previously recorded in. A bloody genius must have thought this up. I went into this muggle record store and let me tell you, they had tons of these C.D.'s! Hermione told me when she gave me Rancid's C.D., Life Won't Wait, that this genre of music was called rock. It's when the band is vivacious, uses a few muggle things called guitars and drums. I can't explain the what the feeling is when I listen to this type of music. It gives me energy. An adrenaline rush almost. It's like a wand picking you, except there are no sparks and no magic. Just pure electricity. The electricity comes from these small round bars called batteries.

“Ginny! Time to eat sweetie!” mum called out.

“Coming mum!” I replied.

I shut off my C.D. player my pressing this little button with a square on it. Hermione told me how to work it. It I want to turn it back on, I press the button with the arrow and two columns. To change songs, well, it wasn't that hard to figure out. I ran down the rickety stairs with my left hand grasping onto the broken wooden railing, trailing my right pointer down the drab turquoise wallpaper that mum had deliberately put up to make the place livelier. No such thing happened. I jumped off the last step and took off running into the kitchen, which was also the dining room. On my way, I crashed into Ron, the first person on my hit list.

“Oof…” he mumbled.

“Ouch,” I said simultaneously, rubbing the spot on my forehead where I crashed into my oaf of a brother.

He quickly scrambled up and dusted off his clothing, which consisted of a black wife-beater and a pair of blue jeans. He offered his hand out to me. I shoved it roughly away and pulled myself up. I calmly collected myself and walked into the kitchen a bit more gracefully, leaving Ron dumbfounded for some reason. I think that look is just plastered onto his face.

“Charlie! Set the table!” mum called out.

Bill and Charlie both came back from Egypt and Romania respectively for a while to spend time with us. Charlie came back from Romania after he nurtured a group of baby Norwegian Ridgeback Dragons and Bill came back from Egypt after discovering a deceased body, hidden in sand. He said that it scarred his psyche for life. Mum said he had no psyche. Dad's at the Ministry of Magic right now. He's discussing some new muggle artifact called a computer, I think. It's extremely difficult to use and program. He'll soon be back in a few minutes. After Charlie finished setting the table, mum set the food on it and went outside to call in Harry, Fred, George and Bill. Percy was disowned from the family after he dishonored the family name by becoming a Death Eater. Harry, Fred, George and Bill came in all muddied. Mum was angry…

“Take a shower! All of you! I will not have you sit at my table with dirty clothes! Now march!” she yelled.

Mum cast a quick warming spell and sat down on one of the chairs. She rubbed her temples and muttered incoherently. If I don't speak, maybe no one will see me…

2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

“It's a new day, but it all feels old,

It's a good life, that's what I'm told.

But everything, it all just feels the same.”

Good Charlotte - The Anthem

“Ginny! What are you doing? Stop dillydallying! It's time to go!” Ron yelled as I was finishing packing up some clean clothes for Hogwarts.

Mum had gotten me new things for the New Year. Nothing extravagant, but nothing that can't be altered.

“I'm coming! Shut your damn trap!” I retorted loudly.

I threw all my necessities into my trunk and grabbed the trunk to my new pet, Lila. It was a young owl with black feathers. Bloody beautiful if you ask me. Sixth year at Hogwarts is going to suck just as much as the past five years. Oh lord… Why do I bother? I ran down with the large brown trunk in one hand and the cage in the other. My wand was buried inside of my jeans' pocket. My black blouse fit quite snuggly to my body and my new blue converses were comfortable. I threw my trunk into the backseat of the trunk and put Lila's cage in the backseat next to me. She hooted softly. Pig was also there alone with Hedwig, next to Lila as Ron was in the front seat next to dad. Harry sat next to me in a dreamy daze. Mum decided not to see us off because she had a job interview. This year, she planned to work. She's going to work as an undercover muggle at Hermione's parents' business as dentists. She was to be the hostess or something. I'm not quite sure. Dad zoomed off to King's Cross, platform 9 and three quarters. I was first to run through the gray stone column with the cart bustling in front of me. Right when I got through, I crashed into someone. A big someone. Black wife beater, blue denim jeans, silvery blonde hair and smoldering gray eyes. Oh sh-

“Watch it Weasley!” Draco's voice coldly snapped.

“Eat me!” I glared.

His perfectly shaped eyebrow cocked up in surprise as I pulled my trunk and cage out of the silver cart and began walking into the train, looking for a room, which I could be alone in. The last compartment was empty so I threw my baggage into the shelves on the top and sat down grumpily. This was not the best way to start off the school year. I must admit, he grew into his manly figure over the years. His scrawny body was not so scrawny anymore. From the tight wife beater, his muscles were beautifully sculpted and his arms were tanned to perfection. His aristocratic nose was smack dab in the middle of his face, above his bee stung cherub lips and below his unusual gray eyes, which reminded me of a violent storm. All of a sudden, a large figure gracefully glided into the room, shutting the compartment door behind him. Just my luck.

“What do you want, Malfoy?” I sneered.

“This is the last compartment, Weasley. Don't you have any manners? I suppose that you're too poor to even afford that. Learn to share,” he replied.

Jackass.

“Go fuck yourself and die you arse,” I smirked.

Again, he cocked his eyebrow up.

“You have guts, Weasley. You're feisty. I like that,” he grinned coyly.

“Fuck you,” I snarled.

“What a nasty little mouth you have. Want me to clean it for you?” he leered.

“In your dreams,” I answered.

What is up with the sexual innuendos? Merlin knows that every girl, or guy, has found this boy, excuse me, man, gorgeous. He's so unique, but a downright arse. Just give him a new personality to go with that body of his and people everywhere would be in heaven…

All of a sudden, the compartment door slid open. Great. Just my luck. His two imbecilic lackeys… Someone must hate me up there. Wait. Who's that behind them?

“Neville? Is that you? What are you doing here?” I asked.

“There's no more room in any other compartment,” he mumbled.

“Sit next to me,” I half stated, half pleaded.

He gladly threw up his trunk and plopped down to my side, depressing the seat. Each of Malfoy's goons sat next to him, both wearing blank looks with a hint of confusion. All of a sudden, one of them began to speak.

“Pansy's been looking for you,” he said.

I think it was Crabbe. A small grimace flashed through his eyes and features before he nodded in acknowledgement. I wondered why he didn't like her, besides for the obvious reasons. She was… pretty. Cut off her pug nose and she would look just fine. She has a filthy little temper. No worse than mine, I would believe. She has long blonde hair, curled at the bottom. Her eyes are like Harry's, an emerald green. Her figure is lush and curved in all the right places. I despise her. Again the door opened. I really need to lock it…

“Drakie!” Pansy squealed.

I stared at them with disbelief, stifling laughter. What a fabulous pet name. Malfoy winced at her voice.

“Where have you been? I've been looking for you!” she huffed.

“I've been trying to hide from you,” he quipped.

A small frown passed her face. I tried to be placid, but this was just too hilarious. I let out an undignified snort from trying to smother the laugh that was rising from my throat. Everyone looked over to me. Some with hatred, some with confusion and others with amusement.

“See something funny, Weaslette?” Pansy growled.

“Nothing but your ugly nose,” I mused.

A sharp stinging sensation coursed through my cheek as I gaped at the about to be dead bitch that slapped me. I gave a high cry of hatred and attacked her. Blow after blow until she lay unconscious on the floor. I shoved her body out and shut the door behind her. I turned back to face the crowd. They all stared with incredulity and with grudging approval. I calmly returned to my seat and took a deep breath.

“That was amazing,” Neville breathed.

“Thanks,” I smiled.

She just got what was coming to her and what was overdue and deserved… Oh Merlin… When will the horrors cease? The door once again was pushed aside, revealing Blaise Zabini. This man could rival Malfoy's good looks. Ironically, they look like complete opposites. Blaise had tangible black hair and amethyst colored eyes. He was probably almost 6'1, an inch or two taller than Draco. His broad shoulders tapered down to a thin waist. Any girl would die for that waist…

“Draco? Why is Parkinson sprawled across your front door?” he inquired.

“Don't know. Should I move her?” he asked.

“Please do. Also, move over your stuff. I'm coming in. I've been sitting with the Dream Team for the past few minutes. Bloody annoying prats,” he complained.

It was just a tad obvious that he had not seen me yet. He heaved his trunk in and threw it up into the luggage holder and sat down. Right on top of me. I roughly propelled him off of my lap and onto the floor.

“Two attacks in one day. I'm impressed, Weasley,” Malfoy smirked.

“I don't do it for you, asshole. I do it for me,” I said haughtily.

“Ow,” Blaise whimpered.

“Sorry about that. You sat on me,” I told him.

He waved a hand dismissively and plopped down next to me. Blaise is the kind of Slytherin that you wonder why he even got sorted into Slytherin in the first place. He doesn't have all the same prejudices towards Gryffindor, only the Dream Team and most Weasleys, save myself. Sometimes he could act like a real Slytherin on PMS. As you can tell, I study people. I watch their every movement and get to know their quirks. I know, I know. Stalker…

3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

“Why do you keep on bugging me?

Why can't you leave me alone?
I am who I am, not who you want me to be,

So find some other sinner to stone.”

Cannabalistic Underage Naugahyde Tomatoes - ESAD

We finally arrived at Hogwarts with no more incidents, thankfully. I stepped out into the humid air, inhaling the scent that was uniquely Hogwarts. It was sort of musky and strong. I scrutinized the students for new and old faces. I saw a most welcome one.

“Colin!” I called out over the crowd.

His flaxen head turned to face me before he began to wave frantically and run my way. An excited little bugger…

“Hi, Ginny!” he said ecstatically. “Aren't you so happy to be back?”

“Erm… Sure, Colin,” I replied awkwardly. “Have you seen Luna?”

“No. Have you?” a voice from behind me quirked.

I turned to face Luna Lovegood. We embraced each other in a short hug before parting.

“How was your summer?” I asked her.

“I don't know. How was yours?”

She loved to answer questions with questions. A Ravenclaw through and through…

“It was fine, thanks.”

We began to chat for a bit until we stepped into the Great Hall to wait for the first years. Luna waved and left, flouncing her silky blond hair. It's so much nicer than my horrid red head. I involuntarily touched the long, straight lock of hair hanging above my chest. Colin and I took our seats near the end of the table to make a fast getaway. Once everyone was seated, the first years began to head in. Most of them looked quite nervous. The Sorting Hat sang his little ditty, which scared most of the muggle born kids. Professor McGonagall walked onto the `stage'.

“Once I call out your name, you place the sorting hat on your head. It will tell you your house for the next 7 years. Aaron, Blake!”

A self-assured boy bounced up onto the chair and put the ugly hat onto his head, which almost immediately screamed “Slytherin!”

By the time the sorting ritual had finished, I was dozing off. Colin prodded my rib when the food had appeared. I told him I wasn't hungry. On the train, I had an epiphany. I had been griping about the extra fat I had obtained over the summer and I decided I wouldn't eat anymore. Soon enough, we were up in our common room with the rest of the Gryffindors, reminiscing about the old days. Harry was nervously fiddling with his shirt, tugging at the edges a bit. Ron chattered about Quidditch like someone cared. Stupid sod… There are so many reasons why I hate my brother, but none I should admit. You'll understand soon enough. Of course, the highest on my list would be that he ruined my social life, scaring away potential boyfriends. Merlin, he annoys me to no end. He's never there when I need him. Take my first year for example. Then take my fourth year. Now when I'm grown up and I don't need his bloody help, he decides to make everything I do his business. “You can't do this, Gin. You can't do that, Gin.” Blah, blah, blah. I'm going bloody mental. Yes, yes. I rant to myself all the time. If I'm a stalker, I might as well be a mentally ill psychopathic schizophrenic stalker, eh? Bill says I need to see this person called a psychiatrist. They specialize in helping people overcome their problems. What a load of crock. I have no problems. I have issues. Notice how the words are different. It's late. Good night.

**********

First day back and I feel like shit warmed over. You would think that the Great Albus Dumbledore would know how to charm the school to be cooler. It's so bloody hot. Sweating, I get up, get showered and all that and get dressed, ready for school. I begin to walk down the corridors leading to the Great Hall. In the middle of a obnoxiously loud yawn, I clumsily tripped over my own feet, causing me to fall on my belly. Ouch. Guess what? People were even around to witness the spectacular display of idiocy.

“Falling over Potter even when he's not here? How pathetic,” a voice drawled from the crowd.

“The day I fall over that bespectacled git is the day you fall in love with Ron,” I sneered, getting up and brushing myself off.

He smirked. He bloody well smirked. My hand itched to slap it off his face.

“So, Weasley… Did you think about my offer?” he asked.

“What offer?”

“I told you, Weasley. You're feisty. I like that,” he leered.

I growled in disgust, turning on my heel. Stupid bastard.

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4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

“I don't care if it hurts.

I want to have control.

I want a perfect body.

I want a perfect soul.”

Radiohead - Creep

Oh dear, Merlin… Out of all people, I get Blaise Zabini. He's no Draco Malfoy, but he's no Dean Thomas, either. At least I didn't get stuck with ferret boy like Colin did. Guess what? The sixth years have to work with the seventh years again. This is some really stupid tradition Dumbledore has to help the sixth years learn more about the wizarding community, house unity and all that rubbish.

“So…” Blaise drawled, dragging his manicured finger along my arm. “Shall we begin?”

I grabbed his finger and twisted it. He yelped.

“Ladies first,” I smirked.

He pouted innocently before giving me a feral grin. Bastard.

“So… What exactly are we supposed to do?” I asked.

“Weren't you listening? Tsk, tsk, little Weaslette.” Insert nasty glare here. “We have different projects to do each week. Some are muggle. This means no magic. Other projects will be allowed to have magic.”

“And we're doing what this week?”

“We're baking a cake this week. No magic. We give it to Snape when we're done.”

That sounded easy enough. I was a wiz in the kitchen.

“Alright. I'll give it in by this week.”

“What do you mean, you?”

“What? You actually expect us to work together?”

I snorted at the ludicrous thought. He put his hand above where I think was supposed to be his heart and gave a heartbroken sigh.

“You don't want to work with me?”

Silence.

“Oh, come on. It'll be fine. Let's say I meet you in Hogsmeade this week to pick up the supplies and we'll go from there.”

“Dumbledore didn't announce a Hogsmeade- Wait a minute. We're going to go anyway, aren't we?”

He nodded. I rolled my eyes and nodded resolutely.

“Fabulous. I'll meet you outside the Slytherin dorms by 9 to make a clean getaway on Saturday.”

I agreed. What have I gotten myself into?

**********

I strolled down the winding corridors until I reached the painting of a knight. Ha ha… A knight… The irony. I stood by the side, waiting. The portrait swung open. Out comes the devil in the flesh.

“Weasley? What are you doing here? The Gryffindor commons are on the opposite side of the castle,” Draco smirked.

“I know that, you stupid twat. I'm waiting for Zabini.”

Something flashed through his face. I don't know what it is, but I sure didn't like it.

“What? Are you two going to traipse off and shag like bunnies?” he cackled.

I paused for a second.

“Maybe,” was my simple reply.

At that moment, the portrait swung open again. Enter sandman.

“Morning, Weaslette. Shall we go?”

“Lead the way.”

**********

We eventually reached Hogsmeade and headed straight to the little muggle-esque grocery store. We bought a load of crap, which he was stubbornly paying for. I offered, but he declined politely. Then we got into a heated argument. Somehow, I lost. We hung around until lunchtime.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

I shook my head `no'. My stomach betrayed me by grumbling. His facial features told me he knew I was lying. He pulled me by the arm to a small diner café and we were seated immediately. The waiter gave us our menus.

“I said I wasn't hungry, you know,” I mumbled.

“You're lying,” he answered.

“I'm not.”

“Are to.”

“Am not.”

“Are to!”

“Am not! I ate breakfast!”

Sure, I lied, but it wasn't that big of a deal. I was just going on a fast for a few days.

“Breakfast was a long time ago. You're surely hungry by now,” he said reasonably.

“I don't want to eat,” I half pleaded.

“If you don't eat, you're going to blow away when the wind picks up, little girl. I'll force feed you if I have to,” he warned.

I buried my face in my hands, expressing my sheer frustration to the boy in front of me.

“I really don't want to.”

“Too fucking bad,” he smirked.

“Bastard.”

I couldn't contain my grin. His mirth was too contagious.

“Comes with the territory.”

In the end, I ordered a salad and he `helped' me order a grilled chicken while he ordered a fish filet for himself. I picked at the chicken, breaking it into small pieces and pushing it around. I eventually learned that Blaise didn't make idle threats. He literally force-fed me half of it until I promised that I could eat it myself. And I did.

**********

We headed back to Hogwarts after we finished lunch. He dropped me off in front of the Fat Lady and told me to meet him tomorrow, same time, same place. We would work on our little cake tomorrow. Yippee.

I went to the girl's lavatory. I felt horrible. All of a sudden, I ran to the bathroom and purged up all I had eaten that afternoon. The bile tasted terrible and I spat it out. Tears were streaming down my face and my nose was stuffed. Wiping my mouth on the toilet paper so no one would be any wiser, I went to a sink and washed my face. I looked myself in the mirror. I saw a round face. I saw ugly. I hated what I saw. I weighed myself on the scale. 135.47586 pounds. Inspiration struck like a bolt of lightening. If I puked after every meal, I wouldn't gain any weight. I gave myself a malicious smile as I got ready to face the world.

I went back to my room that I shared with five other girls and pulled out an empty book. I had already tried writing in it and no one wrote back, which is always good. I opened it to a fresh new page and lied down on my bed. I pulled out a quill and a bottle of ink. I scrawled down the date. I wrote out my weight, notwithstanding the numbers coming after the decimal. I also jogged down my intake for the day and my new exercise regime that I would have to do. I closed it and cast a few charms on it before stuffing it under my bed.

Immediately, I began to start my sit ups. I planned to get down to 110 by the end of the year. If only I had the will and the self-control. Determination wouldn't hurt either…

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5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

“And I don't want the world to see me.

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.

When everything's made to be broken,

I just want you to know who I am.”

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

Meet me in front of the Slytherin Commons.

-Blaise

We've had this sort of communication for the past two weeks. He tells me where to meet him and I do. This week, we have to animate something that we doodled on parchment. It had to be sustained for a week, which is pretty bloody hard to do. I placed the bookmark into my book and set it down. I got up from the bed and began my trek down to the Slytherin dungeons. I knocked once. Twice. Three times. Eventually, Blaise opened up and gave me a cheeky smile.

“Hello, Ginger,” he grinned, using the nickname he appointed me in the second week.

“'Lo,” was my monosyllabic reply.

He led me up to the 7th year boy's dormitory, keeping the door wide open. He gives me no reason to misplace my trust in him. He's always very gentle, caring and chivalrous. Merlin, we need more guys like that. Preferably straight. Something Blaise isn't. Shame. He's had his eye on Colin since his fourth year. I don't think either of them noticed it. They both contrast each other: Blaise with his dark hair and bright eyes and Colin with his light hair and shadowed eyes. I think they'd make a cute couple…

“So… what do you think we should do? I was debating between the Cannons versus the Falcons or a rendition of the Weird Sister's concert.”

“Are you mad? We have to draw it.”

He smiled and handed me two sheaves of paper. One had a perfect sketch of the Wronski Feint play by the Cannons and the other had the replicate of the Weird Sisters performing on stage. My jaw dropped.

“This is… wow… I can't even explain it. I didn't know you could draw so well.”

“Well, I needed to do something in my spare time besides read.”

“And to think, I was about to suggest either a tree or a stick figure,” I chuckled.

We decided on the Quidditch and spent the entire evening trying to make them move. As for dinner, we got so caught up in laughing, we completely forgot it altogether. All as well. I hadn't been eating much, only the occasional nibble hear and there. I drank loads of water, though. I guess I'm a masochist. I like the hunger pains. Eventually, I headed back up to the Gryffindor towers and headed straight for the 6th year girl's dormitory, not wanting to face anyone. Blaise and I have to meet after classes to work more on the picture.

I grabbed my book, my towel and my robe and headed into the bathroom. Since everyone was eating dinner, I had it all to myself. I filled the small tub with lukewarm water and green apple scented soap. I stripped down to the nude and slowly let myself be enveloped into the tub. Ecstasy filled me. It felt so nice to just relax. With my wand, I conjured a few vanilla scented candles. The smell always soothed my jittery nerves. I opted to go the entire mile and cast some music. As I read, I heard John Rzeznik crooning Iris with his mellow voice. By the time I finished my book, my skin was sort of wrinkled and girls were knocking to see if I was done. I dried myself off, brushed my teeth and went back to the room. I slipped into a pair of cotton pajama pants and a tank top. I slid into bed and tried to sleep, but failed.

Hours later, I was still twisting and turning. I huffed. This was useless. I got up and threw on a pair of fuzzy pink slippers. I grabbed my wand and began my walk to the kitchen for a glass of water.

“Who's there?” a voice boomed.

Damn it.

“Weasley,” Malfoy drawled in his irritating deep voice. “Out for a midnight rendezvous? I might have to write you up.”

I rolled my eyes none too subtly.

“Please, Malfoy. I just need to get water.”

I continued to walk. He followed. I could hear his footsteps. He fell into a synchronized line, walking beside me. His arm gently brushed mine, causing me to shiver slightly.

“You don't have to come with me.”

“I know.”

“You weren't invited,” I mumbled to myself.

His eyebrow quirked. “I know.”

We were silent as we walked to the kitchen. I tickled the pear and the handle appeared. He opened the door, allowing me to pass. I sat down and a house elf immediately bounded over to me.

“What is the missus be wanting?” he squeaked.

Or I'm guessing it's a he.

“Just a glass of ice water, thanks.”

Malfoy sat across from me, staring into my eyes. I never noticed how stark they were. The mercurial depths called out to me. I blinked. What the hell was I thinking?

“You know,” he said gently. “The offer still stands.”

I gave his a disgusted look.

“I mean, we could help each other.”

He caught my interest.

“You could use me to get rid of your stress, problems and all the difficulty of everyday life. I could help you get rid of your demons and those skeletons in your closet.”

“What's in it for you?” I queried cautiously.

“The company of a sexy redhead.”

Involuntarily, I blushed. Damn cheeks.

“So… What do you say?”

I paused for a while to mull it over. I weighed the pros and cons. There was nothing wrong with a little self-indulgence, overlooking the fact that he's my family's rival. This could have its advantages…

“Give me a while to think about it.”

“Fine. When you make up your mind, you know where to find me.”

And just like that, he left. I slowly sipped my water in silence, watching the fire crackle in the fireplace. It sounded oddly nice to be able to use something besides my fingers. I drained it in a few more gulps and left, heading back to my dormitory. This time, however, I had no trouble sleeping.

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6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

“Looking for a place to call my home,
Where will I sleep tonight, even I don't know.
You ask yourself, “Is this how I want to live?”
When empty hands have nothing more to give.”

The Ataris - Better Way

“All the tables are full,” I mumbled incessantly.

“Well, of course, Weasley. They need to do the project also, don't you know,” Blaise murmured.

“Yeah, yeah. Hey! Look! There's Colin!”

I dragged Blaise along by his hand until we reached his and Malfoy's table. To tell you the truth, I've been contemplating his proposition for days. It was going to be some kind of learning experience. If I took it.

“Hello, Gin. Why don't you join us?”

“Sure.”

We sat down, adjacent to our best friends. Malfoy ignored us altogether and kept his head down, doing his work. Blaise cocked his head sideways, as if he were confused. Blaise pulled out a sheaf of papers, all containing what we were to do for the week. This week, we were learning about electricity and the rubber ducky. We had to write an essay for each group, describing them in detail and what they do. Electricity was easy. It was the ducky that was stumbling me.

“What've you gotten so far?” I asked.

“Electricity is like their central magic system. It does a majority of things that range from light, heat and cooking. It's fascinating.”

“Fabulous,” Blaise drawled sullenly.

He should really just tell Colin. It would make my life a lot easier.

“Colin. Meet Blaise. Blaise. Say hello to Colin and go have freakishly beautiful kids together.”

Of course I didn't say that. Or… maybe I did… Maybe that's why they're looking at me funny. However, Blaise took my words to heart. He pulled Colin forward by his ears and kissed him roughly. Colin's face flushed dangerously, but he kissed back with much wicked intention.

“Hm. Okay. That worked out well,” I murmured.

“Thanks a lot, Weasley. Now my partner is crazy glued to yours. How am I going to get my work done?” Malfoy sneered.

“Sod yourself.”

“That's what you're there for,” he leered.

“Up yours.”

“No thanks, sweetheart.”

“Hey. It's almost lunch time,” Blaise commented.

I didn't know that he had detached his face from Colin.

“Oh. That reminds me. I have to… go visit Hagrid!” I blurted.

“You should eat with us first,” Blaise said with a tone of warning.

“No. You should go on without me,” I replied, trying to smile.

“I'll go with you,” Colin offered.

It would be weird if I adamantly said no.

“If you want to.”

“Me, too,” Blaise piped up.

“What is this? A gathering?” Malfoy snickered.

“Sure. Would you like to come along?” Blaise suggested.

He weighed his options and nodded lightly. Damn. I wanted to go alone.

“After this, we can go eat lunch.”

They all agreed enthusiastically.

“What's wrong, Gin? You don't seem too happy.”

“Nothing. I'm just a bit tired.”

And it was true. I hadn't had much energy in the past month. No food equals no energy. When I'm hungry, all I eat is maybe an orange. It's really not very fulfilling. However, I'm losing a lot of weight. My friends had commented on how good I look. It was well worth it.

* * * * *

“Good ter see ya, Ginny,” Hagrid greeted.

“You, too,” I replied courteously.

He looked at Malfoy disapprovingly, but said nothing.

“Do you need any help?”

“Sure. Can you lot bring this stuff down ter Professor Snape's room. Don't want him ter be burnt by them Wagalots,” he mumbled solemnly.

We all took a box of what felt like bricks to the dungeons. The putrid smell overwhelmed me. I felt sort of faint. I closed my eyes while walking and shook it off. This was no time to get a dizzy spell. Blaise gently knocked on the door with the box, being rewarded by a loud screech, which set off a chain reaction. Snape immediately opened the door.

“What is the meaning of this ruckus?” he snapped.

“Professor Hagrid requested that these be sent to your room, sir,” Blaise injected over the noise.

Snape studied the four of us and nodded tightly.

“Set them on the floor gently. You've done enough harm to these creatures already,” he snarled.

We did as we were told and left. Once the deadbolt was secure, we burst out in laughter. I'm not sure any of us knew why we were laughing, but it eased my hunger pains.

“Alright. That's done with. Let's go get lunch. I'm as hungry as hell,” Blaise grinned.

“Oh, darn,” I muttered. “I still have unfinished parchment for McGonagall's class. I have her next. I'll see you guys later.”

Without another word, I ran toward the staircase and sprinted for the tower. Half an hour later, I was bored. I began to write a letter to none other than the Prince of Darkness.

Dear Malfoy Draco,

I've been contemplating your offer for a while and I believe that it's a shame to waste such an offer and I've decided to accept. If it's still available, of course. Meet me in front of the Room of Requirement tomorrow at 10:30 pm. I'm sure you know where it is located.

- G

I smiled, rewrote the letter without the cross out and sent it to his room. Now to wait until tomorrow…

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7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

“All this time I can't believe I couldn't see,
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me.
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems,
Got to open my eyes to everything.”

Evanescence - Bring Me To Life

A bony hand stopped me short of going up the stairs to the tower. I turned around and looked him in the eye.

“Yes?”

“You're serious?”

“No. I just enjoy having you come up to me and talk to me in the broad daylight. Of course, you ponce!”

He smirked. I've been dying to wipe that feral grin off his face since my first year. Tonight's my chance.

“Blaise is looking for you.”

I nodded. He turned on his heel and left. I headed back down to the dungeons and waited for Blaise to grace me with his charming presence. I called out his name through the portrait. The door swung open. Before I could wipe the smile off my face, I was on the floor.

“You bloody bint!” I screamed.

I jumped back up, but it was no use. I was surrounded by Parkinson and her team of Slytherin sluts.

“What are you going to do? Go running to the Dream Team?” Pansy snickered.

The other girls laughed in unison.

“If you've already forgotten, which I'm sure you have, the humiliating defeat of yours truly, shall I give you a reminder?”

“Tramp.”

“I'm stunned by your extensively witty repertoire. Please don't hurt me with your words,” I cried mockingly.

She bared her teeth in what I would think as a menacing way. Only, I found it somewhat humorous.

“I would hate to deduct points from my own house,” a voice drawled.

“But-“

“No buts. All of you. Get to where you need to be. Weasley, follow along.”

We did as he stated. As I brushed past Pansy, she glared.

“This is far from over,” she threatened.

“Charmed, I'm sure.”

I walked behind Draco a few steps, lest we be seen together and suspicions rouse.

“You said Blaise was waiting for me.”

“He is. In Gryffindor.”

“Why-“

I stopped short, knowing exactly why he was in there.

“You could've told me, you know.”

“And miss all the action? No thanks.”

“Wanker.”

“Glad to see you've noticed.”

I rolled my eyes. After a while, Malfoy begins to grow on you. I don't know. Maybe I just fell down too hard.

“Here we are. Could you tell my partner to come?”

“I'm sure he is, right about now.”

Why do I say such stupid things aloud? He smirked his bloody smirk.

“Yeah, yeah. He'll be down… soon.”

I muttered the password and headed up the boys' dormitory. Without knocking, I opened the door. Merlin, I wish Pansy had hurt me enough to make me blind, deaf or at least unconscious.

“Gin!” Colin yelled frantically, trying to cover up his rude bits.

“Er- Go back to your… erm… ministrations. Malfoy's waiting for you outside. And- yep. Bye.”

I all but ran from the room. I heard Blaise cackling inside the room and a sharp smacking sound. Bloody fantastic. Now I have to Obliviate myself. Never will this be mentioned. Oh, Merlin… Where's my wand when I need it? I plopped down onto the Common room couch and waited until Blaise came down, hopefully after a long, long shower. In a matter of moments, he sauntered out like he owned the school and sat next to me. He placed his hand on my shoulder.

“Agh! Get it off! I don't want to know where your hand has been!”

He laughed and dangled his hand dangerously close to me, tauntingly.

“Come on, Gin. We have to finish the project on the rubber ducky, remember?”

“How about I do it and you take all of the credit? Doesn't that sound good?”

“How am I to learn, then? I want to know more about the ducky. Fascinating.”

“Then you do it. The essay, I mean.”

“How about no. This is a group effort. There's no I in team.”

“There's a me and I'm taking it.”

“Weaslette. As fun as this is, we've got to get this done. I've used both a cleaning and freshening spell. Can we get on with it?”

I looked at him warily.

“I still can't believe you walked in on us.”

“Trying to forget here.”

“I'm hungry. Let's go to the kitchen and grab a quick snack. I'm mighty hungry after such a good-“

“Alright! I get it!”

“I knew you would.”

We walked up to the kitchen, side by side.

“So, Gin. You like Malfoy.”

“I do not! What gave you such a preposterous idea? I don't like his silvery blonde hair. Or his bright eyes,” I sputtered indignantly.

“I meant as a friend, but apparently, your subconscious knows something. Ginny likes Draco! Ginny likes Draco!” he sang.

“Shut up!”

I was blushing by now. I did not like that ferret. I take back saying that he grew on me.

“Sod it. I don't need this.”

I turned on my heel, but was stopped by Blaise.

“I'm sorry Gin. I won't do it anymore.”

I sighed.

“Ginny likes Draco!”

I turned my back towards him once again and began to walk.

“I swear! That was my last time!”

**********

I yawned. I was utterly fatigued. I had eaten two chicken strips and a buttered roll with Blaise before excusing myself to the restroom and purging it up. I cast a freshening charm before leaving the restroom. I bid Blaise good night and headed up to the Gryffindor towers, straight to the girls' lavatory. I peeled off my clothes and stepped onto the scale. 124.87043 pounds. Not bad after only three weeks. I checked the bathroom mirror. I didn't look any skinnier. I surely don't feel any skinnier. Maybe the scale's broken. I'm still the same weight. I sighed heavily before glancing over at the clock.

“Bloody hell!”

It was 10:27. I had but three minutes to get to the Room of Requirement. I pulled on my clothes and ran like the wind. As I turned the corner, I heard a deep voice.

“You're late.”

“I know. I'm sorry. I-“

“No excuses. You made the meeting. Not I. I expect you to keep them.”

I shuffled my feet and looked down on the floor guiltily. I heard his heave a sigh.

“No matter. You're here now. Shall we? I've made the liberty of starting.”

He opened the door to reveal a large mahogany bed with Slytherin green Romanian silk sheets. There was also a cherry wood chiffonier on the side, holding a vanilla scented candle.

“Wow,” I murmured to myself.

He sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Come here,” he motioned.

I did as I was told.

“Put your arms around my neck.”

I did so.

“Kiss me.”

So I dipped my head to taste what was uniquely his. There was a quaint flavor of something familiar…

“Peanut NME's?”

“Only the best.”

I giggled before kissing him again with a renewed vigor. I guess I was trying to lessen the thought of what was going to happen. Namely me losing my virginity to Mal- Draco. He kissed his way down my neck to my collarbone, all the way to where my nonexistent cleavage lies. I became really self-conscious about my body. What if he found me lacking? How mortifying… I tried to cover myself up and use what was left of my modesty, but he would have none of it. Where did my blouse go? I could've sworn I had it on…

His mouth began to suckle on my nipple through the fabric of the bra and I gasped in what I can guess as shock and pleasure. It felt so good. I pressed his head closer and arched my back.

“Oh, my,” I moaned.

His clever fingers played with the other nipple, heightening the sensations coursing through my body. I clenched my teeth, trying not to scream. Slowly, he continued the path down my belly. I can't believe that he just kissed my fat stomach…

I realized it a second too late. His lips were already around the erect bud. Where the hell were my skirt and knickers? They're supposed to protect me from such things!

“Oh fuck me silly,” I muttered as my hips grinded into his mouth.

He was licking a trail from the newly deflowered orifice and my clit. His tongue swirled inside me, giving me heart attacks.

“Please…”

I wasn't exactly sure what I was begging for.

“… Contraceptus,” I heard him murmur.

I'm guessing birth control. Slowly, he pushed himself into me. In barely a split second, I felt a searing pain as if he ripped me apart. I could tell that he was trying to hold back while glaring maliciously at me.

“Why didn't you say anything?”

I shrugged through my tears. What a way to go, Gin…

**********

An hour or so later, I came out, feeling sated. My body was sore, but it was a good kind of pain. I was too tired to even shower. I set my alarm so I could get up earlier to shower in the morning. Hopefully, my bones will feel like they've grown back again.

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