3 Tents 6 Bodies- What to do?

Gwendalynn Shaw

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 29/06/2004
Last Updated: 26/08/2004
Status: in_progress

Harry and the gang go on a camping trip. One problem, they only have three tents and there are six people. What to do? Pair off of course! H/Hr, R/LL, D/G fluffiness ensues!

Chapters

1. Camping?!

2. Perfect

3. Dance All Night

1. Camping?!

(A/N: Okay, I've decided to join a challenge…*gasp* I know! I promise to finish this one though! Really I do! Okay, here's chapter one. Oh, and by the way…I don't own HP, it all belongs to JKR.)

Chapter 1: Camping?

“Camping? Are you serious Harry? No! No way, not happening!”

“Aww…come on `Mione. It'll be fun! Plus Ron, Ginny, Draco and Luna are going to be there.” All Harry heard was a `humph' from the other end of the telephone line. A tense silence seemed to permeate the room as Harry waited for Hermione to say something, anything…

“Oh, I suppose so…I mean, did you clear this with Dumbledore?” Hermione was half praying that he hadn't so there'd be a possibility that the whole ordeal could be called off. But, for once, Harry seemed to have thought the entire thing out. Damn him.

“Of course,” Harry replied, smiling to himself for avoiding one of Hermione's many traps that she was obviously trying to use to call off Harry's camping trip. But, not this time, nope, Harry had thought the entire thing out and even Hermione herself wasn't going to ruin it.

Of course, Harry was very proud of himself. He had finally outwitted the genius of Hermione, though it would probably be the last time, ever.

“So, when do we leave?” Hermione asked timidly, snapping Harry out of his revere on the other end of the line.

“Oh, um…oh, right. Well, actually…oh hell `Mione, look out your window!” Harry stammered his response. He knew that this would piss her off to no end. But hey, that's what he lived for, right? To take the mickey out of his best friends, Ron included.

“WHAT?” Hermione tore the pink percale curtains that hung in her bedroom window open, her mouth open wide. `Oh good Lord, he's went and bought himself a car.' She saw Harry wave hesitantly up at her and knew she couldn't stay mad at him, even if she tried.

Harry was relieved when Hermione smile down at him and hung up her cordless telephone. He saw her leave her window and the smile that had crept into his countenance when he first saw her smile down at him disappeared and he found himself wondering why Hermione had left so abruptly. He had little time to dwell on this mystery when he was pounced upon.

Yes, he was pounced upon in his car. Hermione had run downstairs and down the walk without Harry noticing and completely cleared the side of the Jeep Harry was driving, landing square in his lap, making him grunt.

After recovering from the initial shock of being attacked by his best friend Harry grinned at Hermione manically.

“Oh, you're going to get it Granger!” Harry cried as he attacked Hermione's sides with his fingers, making her squirm in his lap. Harry began to feel uncomfortable, hey he was a seventeen year old wizard, he had hormones and an extremely attractive witch was wiggling around in his lap. His bodily response was to be expected. Harry stopped before his…erm…problem would be evident to Hermione.

“It's so good to see you Harry. I'm sorry I was being such a prude, it's just that my parents are on a conference holiday and I don't think they'd let me go anyway…” Hermione was apologizing to him while enveloping him in a hug.

“Oh, it's all right. I'm just happy that you agreed, even though it took me forever to get you to concur!” Harry grinned at Hermione that lopsided half smile that always made her knees go weak. If only Harry knew what he did to her… `Better not think about that now' Hermione chastised herself.

Hermione pulled herself back over the side of Harry's red and gold (doesn't just figure! Hermione thought) Jeep and opened the door for Harry. The Jeep was laden down with all the necessary camping equipment and Hermione felt herself begin to grow excited about the camping trip.

“Come on, let's go inside while I pack and we'll grab a couple of sandwiches before we head out.” Hermione lead Harry up the walk to her front door, which she had left open when she had run out to his car. When they stepped inside Harry's mouth opened wide in shock. Hermione's home was perfect. Everything had a place and everything was in its place. Hermione lead Harry into the kitchen and started pulling out bread and lunch meats. She also grabbed a bowl of fruit that she had cut up for breakfast that morning.

“Hey, how about you run up and pack a bag and I'll make the sandwiches. Ok?” Harry once again flashed that smile at her and all she could do was nod and turn around and run up the stairs. Harry just shook his head, his wild hair flying everywhere, chuckling to himself.

Ten minutes later Hermione came back downstairs with a ruck-sack slung over her shoulder. She had changed her clothes too. Instead of wearing the short white skirt and pink spaghetti strap shirt and pink flip-flops she had worn earlier she was dressed in trainers, a pair of khaki capris and a red tank top complete with the national flag adorning her chest area. Harry smiled to himself.

`Wonder when I should mention the fact that there are only 3 tents and 6 people?'

Oh yes, this was going to be a very interesting trip.

(A/N: Well, it's late and I should be sleeping. I'm gonna write the next chappie first thing in the morning! I promise! Oh, r&r please?)

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2. Perfect

(A/N: Ok, I know I said I'd have this up this morning, and I really planned to but I over slept and when I did wake up I had to get ready and go to work. But I'm home now and ready to write. And thank you to everyone that reviewed, it made my day. Oh, and for those of you that said that it reminded you of Harry's Mistress' Camp Muggle, that's because it comes from the same challenge. Ok, now on with the story!)

Chapter 2: Perfect

After a quick lunch Harry and Hermione and Hermione leaving a note for her parents they climbed into Harry's Jeep and started off on the drive to the campsite. Twenty minutes into the drive Hermione's cell phone began ringing.

“Hello?” Hermione had answered her phone and was shocked to hear Ron yelling at her from the other end of the line.

“HI HERMIONE. I KNOW YOU'RE ON YOU'RE WAY BUT-”

“Ron…”

“-I WANTED TO LET-”

“Ron…”

“-YOU KNOW THAT-”

“RON! YOU DON'T NEED TO SCREAM AT ME! Just talk normally.”

There was some scuffling noises on the other end and some buttons were pushed in the process, making Hermione grimace even more so than she already had been. Hermione was relieved when the voice she heard come back onto the line wasn't that of Ron.

“Hi Hermione, its Ginny. Sorry about that. Ron's a bit daft.”

“Hi, you really need to teach Ron how to talk on a telephone. And a bit daft?”

“I know, I promise I will beat him up for you after we've hung up. K?”

“Alright. Anyway, what was it that you called for?” Hermione loved talking to Ginny on the telephone; it was so much easier to talk to her than to Ron.

“Oh, right, we're already at the campsite and we're going to get some fire wood, so if we're not around when you get here don't flip.” Hermione heard giggling in the background and a misty voice saying `Ronald'.

“Oh good Lord…please tell me that Luna and Ron aren't making out already.” Hermione was afraid to hear the answer. She heard Harry choke beside her.

“What?!” Harry said. Apparently Ron had forgotten to tell Harry that he and Luna were dating.

Hermione placed her fingers over the mouth piece and turned to the side to talk to Harry.

“Oh, sorry, Ron mustn't have told you yet. He and Luna started dating a couple days ago. The only reason I know is that Ginny called my the other day and told me.”

“Oh, ok…well tell him I said `Congrats'. Oh, and tell them we'll be there in about fifteen minutes.” Harry once again focused on the road.

Hermione lifted the cell phone to her ear again and started talking to Ginny again.

“Okay, we're about 30 kilometers away, so we'll there in about 15 minutes. If you're not back at the site when we get there we'll start unpacking and setting up.”

“OK, we'll see you when you get here. Bye.”

“Toodles!” Hermione and Ginny both hung up their cell phone's and put them away.

“OK, so Ginny says that all of them are at the campsite already. They've gone to get fire wood and when we get there we're going to set up the site. I hope you went to the market Harry and didn't just bring alcohol, because if you did I swear I'll never forgive you. Oh, and please tell me that you've brought flashlights. Do Ron, Luna, Ginny or Draco even know how to use a muggle flashlight? Oh, and what about showers? Am I supposed to just go without? Because if I must then I'm telling you, I'll find the nearest puddle and wash in the stagnant-”

“`Mione, slow down! Wow, I can't believe you said all that in one breath…and anyway, what do you take me for? Of course I've brought food, and yes I did bring refreshments other than alcoholic. Yes, we've flashlights and Ginny had given Ron and the rest a lesson on the proper usage of such muggle items. You needn't worry about showering, there's a bath house a short way down the path and if you don't feel like using that, there's always the lake, which we have to ourselves since this is a wizarding campsite to an extent there are protective spells around and I've booked the entire site for 4 days.” Harry finished by turning on the radio so Hermione couldn't make a rebuttal, because he knew she would.

“Thanks for tuning into Wizarding Wireless! It's time to meet the guest of the hour! For all you hip witches and wizards out there I'd like to introduce a director whose muggle films have incorporated both muggle and wizarding techniques! Let's have a round of applause for…BAZ LUHRMANN!” Applause sounded over the radio.

“Oh my gosh! I love his work! Have you seen Romeo and Juliet Harry? Oh my goodness it was amazing! Leonardo D-” Hermione was speaking at an alarming rate, and he knew that Hermione was going to start talking out Leo Da- what's his face, and his ego just wouldn't allow that. Nope, nu-uh. Not happening. Nada. Zip, Zilch, Zero!

“Yes, `Mione, I've seen it. He must have a new film coming out. I wonder what it is?”

“Oooh! Is he really? I can't wait. I wonder what it's about.”

“Baz is here today to fill all you hip wand wavers out there in on his new film Moulin Rouge. It's not due out in the muggle world for another year but Baz is here to give us a sneak peak. Tell us Baz, what's the film about?” The announcer had started talking again.

“Well, it's about the French nightclub the Moulin Rouge and its star Satine, the Sparkling Diamond, played by Nicole Kidman, who by the way just published her third book on wizard acting techniques. Satine falls in love with a writer named Christian, played by Ewan McGregor, star of the new wizarding musical Fallen, but their love is forbidden because she's a courtesan and is promised to sleep with The Duke on the opening night of the show Christian is writing, called Spectacular, Spectacular. When Zeidler finds out about their Romance he tells her to stop seeing Christian, as it could ruin everything, but then she falls ill. And that's all I'm going to tell, if you want to know the ending, you'll have to come to the wizarding premiere on the 28th at the Moulin Rouge in Paris. We've managed to secure it for that weekend.”

“Well, thank you very much Baz. I'm sure that many WWN listeners will be at the premiere. Well, as I said earlier, we're going to be playing songs from the new film Moulin Rouge all afternoon and night. Stay tuned tonight at midnight for the premiere of the remake of Lady Marmalade, sung by Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Pink and Mya. This is Wolf Parker signing off!”

“Harry, can we listen at midnight? I want to hear the song.” Hermione gave Harry her best puppy dog eyes, and he sighed.

“Well, I suppose,” he said dramatically. “But only if you promise to dance.”

“Deal!”

“We're here!”

“Perfect!”

(A/N: I'm so sorry it's late. My best friend is leaving town tomorrow to move across the country and the girls got together to throw her a little party. If I don't over sleep tomorrow I'll post more in the morning. I realize this probably wasn't the most interesting of chapters, but it'll get better, I promise.)

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3. Dance All Night

(a/n: Wow, it's been a long time. Well, I'm back from Europe and college just started and the server for the internet is down, I'm bored so I'll write. Plus I'm listening to the Moulin Rouge soundtrack! I got to see the actual Moulin Rouge when I was in Paris! I took pictures!!! Anyway, sorry about the wait, but here's the next chapter!)

“I can't believe all the stuff you have stuffed in the back of this Jeep Harry!”

“Um…`Mione? I can use magic now that we've graduated.” Harry looked at Hermione like she had grown another head.

“Oh, um…right.” `Well at least she had the decency to blush' thought Harry. `Wow, she really isn't on the ball today…'

“Ok, let's get setting up. I'll move the coolers out and you can grab a couple of bags or something.” Harry grabbed a cooler out of the Jeep and walked over to a picnic table that had already been set up.

Hermione decided to make herself useful and started removing bags of rolls, chips, and other various food products. `Well at least we won't starve.' She took the bags over and started setting them on the table as Harry went back for yet another cooler.

Feeling extra curious, okay, maybe not extra curious, she opened up the cooler to see at least two cases of butterbeer, 3 bottles of Firewhiskey and 4 bottles of muggle Vodka! Was Harry trying to drink himself to death?! Good lord. Well, Hermione wasn't going to touch a drop of alcohol, nope, uh-uh, she'd be the responsible one, as always.

“Well, here's the last cooler. You want to help me pitch the tents?” Harry grunted as he set the second cooler on the ground next to the other.

“Sure, lets just get settled, I want to try out my new swim suit in the lake.” Harry just quirked an eyebrow as Hermione as she looked at him with mild annoyance.

“What? I haven't been swimming in…a really long time. I want to at least have a bit of fun before all you stupid gits get pissed and I have to listen to your retching all night and day.” Harry rolled his eyes at Hermione and started walking back to the Jeep.

“Come on, give me a hand, it'll go quicker and then you can try out that `new' suit.”

Hermione `hmmph'ed and followed Harry a smile creeping on to her face.

~*~30 minutes later~*~

“Three down, three to go, I'll go get the other tents Harry.” Hermione jogged over to the Jeep, it was empty.

“Um…Harry, where are the other tents?”

“Well, you see the thing is…well, erm…there are only three. You and Luna are sharing, don't worry.” Harry added quickly.

“Harry, Luna is going to want to be with Ron now that they're dating! And Draco and Ginny are dating too! Harry, that means that we have to share a tent.” Hermione was starting to panic.

“`Mione, it's not that bad. I'm sure Luna'll still stay with you. And, even if you and I did have to share nothing would happen, we're best friends…nothing more.” Harry's voice had dropped considerably at the last few words.

“Oh…” Hermione cleared her throat, “Yes, yes, you're absolutely right. Let's let Luna and Ron have their fun, but I swear, if Molly blames someone for this mess of co-ed sleeping, it certainly won't be me! Oh, and if you feel the need to retch because of ridiculous amounts of alcohol consumption, I swear you had better go outside, `cause if you don't I'll…I'll…oh, it'll be really bad! Mark my words.”

“Hermione, chill, everything will be fine, Harry doesn't bite!” Ron and the others had just returned from collecting firewood.

“Hermione!” Ginny shouted as she ran and gave Hermione a hug. “It's so great to see you!”

Luna followed suit and soon the girls were off complimenting each other on their out fits.

“Looks like we've got our hands full this weekend boys.” Draco came to stand next to Harry and Ron.

“That's the understatement of the year. I'm really hoping that Hermione loosens up a little bit. I know she'll have ton of fun if she does. I just hope she does it soon.”

“We all do mate, we all do.” Ron nodded his head in agreement.

“Swim time!” Hermione shouted as she grabbed her bag and picked the tent that was back a bit from the other two to change in.

“Looks like she wants to be `secluded' with you Potter.” Malfoy wriggled his eyebrows at Harry.

“Sod off, you git.” Harry laughed as he went to grab his bag out of the Jeep and conjured a radio to set on the picnic table. Soon the air was filled with sounds from the wizarding wireless.

~*~10 minutes later~*~

“Oh my GOD this water is amazing! Come one you guys, get in, it's perfect!” Hermione shouted from the water as the others made their way down to the water.

Everyone had been in shock when Hermione stepped out of the tent minutes earlier. No one quite expected Hermione to wear anything like what she was at the moment. It was a tiny pink and orange striped string bikini with ties on the sides of the bottoms and a thin strap that went around her top and a halter tie. It barely covered her at all. Hermione, of course was totally oblivious to the looks that she got from the guys, and the girls for that matter. Though the two looks were of completely different natures.

Harry was probably hit the hardest. He saw Hermione step out of the tent and his jaw dropped and his mouth ran dry. He began to feel woozy and realized that the blood was draining from his upper body. `Shit' he thought as he started chanting a mantra about Umbridge in a thong, that sure did kill any sexual emotions he was feeling.

When his mind cleared enough to think he tore off his shirt and flung it unceremoniously to the ground and ran to the water as he had already been wearing his swimming shorts.

Soon everyone was in the water and swimming and having a blast. Water fights, games of marco polo, snogging on the parts of Ginny and Draco and Ron and Luna and rolling of eyes by Harry and Hermione ensued in the Lake.

“Well, if they're just going to stand there and snog, I'm going to make myself useful. Care to help me make dinner?” Harry startled Hermione when he spoke.

“Yeah, sure. Let's go.”

Harry and Hermione got out of the water and wrapped towels around their bodies. `Thank God' thought Hermione, `I've never seen someone so built in my life, I'm surprised I've kept myself in check thus far!'

An hour later after everyone was fed and the sun had gone down the six teenagers decided to play a game of truth or dare.

“No I'd rather not,” pleaded Hermione, but she ended up being out voted 4 to 2. Harry didn't want to play either, he knew what the others had on their minds.

“Ok, Ginny, truth or dare?” Asked Luna.

“Dare.”

“I dare you to run around the campsite screaming.”

“Ok.”

Ginny sat down 5 minutes later with a sore voice and everyone else with sore ears.

The daring went on for a good half hour, everyone leaving Harry and Hermione out of the game.

“Harry, truth or dare?” Ginny said after her third dare.

“Um…dare.” Harry actually looked scared.

“I dare you to go get the firewhiskey and drinking half a bottle.”

“Erm…ok…” Harry did as he was told while everyone else but Hermione broke into the other bottles and a bottle of Vodka.

When he was done her turned to Hermione and asked her, “truth or dare?” and then broke into a fit of giggles, very unmanly like.

“Um…tru-no, damn it, I'll be a Gryffindor! DARE!”

“I dare you to drink the rest of the bottle!” Harry pealed into laughter as Hermione grabbed the bottle and started chugging down the terrible tasting liquid that burned her throat and made her eyes water.

~*~

“Well, I'm goin' ta turrrn in beforrre I pash out righ' here…”slurred Draco as he helped a very drunk Ginny to her feet and they made their way back to their tent.

“Yep, I'm a gonna folla his idea!” Ron giggled as Luna tried to pull him up off the log they had been sitting on but ended up falling on her arse. When they finally managed to get to their tent Harry turned to Hermione and offered her his hand so that they could turn in too.

Harry went to go turn off the radio when he was suddenly stopped from behind as he heard the song being introduced.

“Hey all you hip wand wavers out there. I know you've been looking forward to it all day, and here it is for you, the re-make of Lady Marmalade. Goodnight everyone, this is Wolf Parker signing off! Enjoy!”

Lil' kim:]

Where's all mah soul sistas

Lemme hear ya'll flow sistas

[Mya:]

Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista

Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, go sista

[Mya:]

He met Marmalade down IN old Moulin Rouge

Struttin' her stuff on the street

She said, "Hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go?" Oh! uh huh

[Chorus:]

Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (Hey hey hey)

Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (here)

Mocha Chocalata ya ya (oh yea)

Creole lady Marmalade

[Lil' Kim:]

What What, What what

[Mya:]

ooh oh

Hermione began dancing and singing as the song played, swaying her body to the music. She was still only wearing her bikini and when Harry looked at her he felt his body respond in a way that it shouldn't to one's best friend. Harry's eyes filled with lust as he watched Hermione's form swaying back and forth erotically.

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir

Voulez vous coucher avec moi

[Lil' Kim:]

yea yea yea yea

[Pink:]

He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up

Boy drank all that Magnolia wine

On her black satin sheets is where he started to freak

yeah

[Chorus:]

Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (da-da-da)

Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (here ohooh yea yeah)

Mocha Choca lata ya ya (yea)

Creole lady Marmalade

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir, what what what)

Voulez vous coucher avec moi

[Lil' Kim:]

yea yea uh

He come through with the money and the garter bags

I let him know we bout that cake straight up the gate uh

We independent women, some mistake us for whores

I'm sayin`, why spend mine when I can spend yours

Disagree? Well that's you and I'm sorry

Imma keep playing these cats out like Atari

Wear ideal shoes get love from the dudes

4 bad ass chicks from the Moulin Rouge

hey sistas, soul sistas, betta get that dough sistas

We drink wine with diamonds in the glass

by the case the meaning of expensive taste

if you wanna Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya

Mocha Chocalate-a what?

Real Lady Marmalade

One more time C'mon now

Marmalade... Lady Marmalade... Marmalade...

[Christina:]

hey Hey Hey!

Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth

color of cafe au lait alright

Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried,

More-more-more

[Pink:]

Now he's back home doin' 9 to 5

[Mya:]

Sleepin' the grey flannel life

[Christina:]

But when he turns off to sleep memories creep,

More-more-more

[Chorus:]

Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (da daeaea yea)

Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (ooh)

Mocha Choca lata ya ya (yea)

Creole lady Marmalade

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir)

Voulez vous coucher avec moi (all my sistas yea)

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir (ce soir)

Voulez vous coucher avec moi (C`Mon! uh)

[Missy:]

Christina...(oh Leaeaa Oh)

Pink... (Lady Marmalade)

Lil' Kim...(hey Hey! uh uh uh uh...)

Mya...(Oh Oh oooo)

Rot wailer baby...(baby)

Moulin Rouge... (0h)

Misdemeanor here...

Creole Lady Marmalade Yes-ah...

A few hours later Harry woke up with a terrible headache and a dull ache throughout his entire body. He felt something stir on his chest and looked down to see a forest of bushy brown hair sprawled across his naked chest, he looked down and took note that he was also not wearing any shorts or boxers.

`Oh shit,' he thought, `I slept with my best friend. Oh, she's going to hate me.' Harry groaned and as soon as his head hit the pillow he was out like a light.

(a/n: Ok, I know it probably sucks and I'm really bad at writing this kind of stuff, but I thought I'd try and finish this. Oh, well…I'm out!)

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