Never Let You Go

tweak27

Rating: PG13
Genres: Drama
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 19/02/2003
Last Updated: 03/03/2003
Status: paused

~ Sequel to Over the Edge~ It's been months, Hermione is still depressed about what happened. But, things are about to change, whether she's ready or not. Or, whether she knows it or not.

Chapters

1. Default Chapter

2. Traces of the Past

3. A Sisters Secret

4. Will the Real Harry Potter Please Stand Up

5. Relevations

1. Default Chapter

Never Let You Go

Authors Note- I'm glad everyone liked the first one, and the sequel is just to try, I'll take it down if it's a flop. But give it a chapter or two to get going. There are a lot of surprises, you'll just have to wait and see. For the record, this is after the following summer and into the next school year. Hermione and Ron graduated and are back working at Hogwarts.
Default Chapter
The hard end of the eagle feathered quill glided along the parchment paper without leaving a single mark. Hermione, or Professor Granger to anyone in the room, wanted it to be that way. She wanted the quill to be empty, because that's exactly how she felt. Empty. Empty to the core of her bones. It felt like an eternity, when really it was only a few months.

The second he died, that very heartbeat, she couldn't stand being there. Leaving Ginny Weasley and the once Harry Potter on the roof, Hermione had to get away. Far away. Anywhere that wasn't Hogwarts. But on the other side of those castle doors, was Professor Dumbledore. He had returned immediately upon realizing that three students were missing.

She spent the next day in the hospital wing, Ginny was brought in a few hours after, still shaken. Not surprised, she spilled every detail first chance she got. To be honest, the only thing she left out was her attempted seduction in the bath, and Harry's dying words being ' I love you'. When Hermione was questioned she admitted nothing more than wanting to help. And she was never going to say she failed, in a way, that was the truth. He could have been saved, he could have been protected, maybe that's not what he wanted. Afterwards, Hermione was not to be permitted into the hospital wing for a few weeks, not like she cared.

In present day, all the rumors of that night emerged and spread like wild fire, always taking on something new by each person. The boy who lived was now the boy who lost it. One was actually that a clone Harry killed the real one, then Colin and Neville. Hermione was quick to distribute detention to the slightest joke. One student was expelled for running into the Transfiguration classroom with a pocketknife. It was her classroom, that very same room as.

Nights were especially hard on her, not one went by without seeing him. If she closed her eyes, there he was smiling at her. And he was fine, just perfect. But the one's that scared her the mist, she knew she was awake. He was laying right next to her, literally, she could feel him. His soft hair, his warm skin, right there in her arms. But by the time she sat up, it was all gone. Still, she'd never let go. Somewhere, in some way, he was alive. She just didn't know where.
The quill continued it's journey across the parchment, that's not how Hermione saw it. Instead it was a knife, enclosed in Ginny's hand. She stabbed him, there was very little to it. He told her, Harry told Ginny to kill him. He didn't want to, the extreme guilt in his conscience. Two wrong don't make a right, no matter how wrong it may be. Harry was insane, Hermione admitted that (Ginny did so once, very briefly) it's what turned him to murder, something he couldn't control. He was the one who said in the option to turn back that his body went forward. Overall, he did it for her. He took two innocent lives out of a jealous rage of love. It only added to the heartbreak.
In her lack of attention, Hermione knocked over her bottle of ink. She didn't see the ink ooze across her parchment sheets, she saw blood. Harry's blood. It covered her hands the night he died, the rain didn't wash it away. Neither did Hermione. The red color stained her skin for a month. Call it crazy she wouldn't care.

There was a certain limit Hermione could take each day, the ink seemed to break it just then. Her students were copying notes from the blackboard (some days, she couldn't find the will to speak) they didn't notice her rapid departure. The Charms classroom wasn't that far.

Ron, obviously the new Charms professor, became use to her appearance in his doorway during class time. He always left for her. Harry was still his best friend, despite the attempted murder of his sister.

" It's happening again!" she cried when they stepped into the deserted corridor. He couldn't understand what any of this was like for her, only what he was told.

" Hermione, it hasn't been that long, you just need to relax".

Hermione shook her head, " no, it's not going to end. There's something, don't ask me what".

" What?" typical, he asked.

" I said not to!" her yells echoed off the brick walls, " it's this, now I won't ever get over him!".

Ron was becoming frightened by her tone. " Hermione, you're not making any sense, and it's scary".

Tears were pouring down her cheeks, " I'm sorry" she whispered, leaning against Ron.

He wrapped his arms around her, stroking her back, " it's alright, it's going to be alright".

She wanted to believe him more than anything, almost anything. But she had the evidence for herself and anyone that asked. Deep in her heart and resting in her stomach.

2. Traces of the Past

Never Let You Go
Authors Note- As confusing as this may sound (for the time being) try and figure out what's going on.
Chapter Two- Traces of the Past
During dinner that evening, there were very few people left. Ron was next to Hermione at the staff table, she seemed to have calmed down, though wasn't eating or hardly speaking. He mentioned that she couldn't starve, but the words were blocked out by her concentrating thoughts.

' Clench your teeth, keep it down, clench your teeth, keep it down' over and over.

" Hermione?" he asked.

" I have to go" she ran from the Great Hall, clutching her stomach. A few students at the Slytherin table whispered and laughed among themselves as she ran by.
Not long after, a first year student burned her hand on one of the gold dishes. Ron went with her towards the hospital wing, the girls hand wrapped in a damp napkin. Standing in the doorway of the wing was Hermione, chatting with Madame Promfrey.

" As sick or disgusting as you may feel, I assure you Hermione, it'll be perfectly for the on coming months".

Their conversation stopped at that, when seeing the new arrivals. Promfrey took the injured girl inside, Ron and Hermione stayed in the corridor.

" Are you alright?" he asked.

She tried to get past him, " just peachy".

But he went after her, " what's normal for the oncoming months?",

" Absolutely nothing, I can assure you that is the truth" from her point of view, it was.

Ron ran a few steps to be at her side, " noting can be taken in two different ways. Nothing like there really isn't anything or nothing like it's empty".

" Just- oh, it's too hard to say. But Madame Promfrey said I have to stop taking my depression medication".

He grabbed her wrist, stopping her so she'd face him. " You're better?" he had a hopeful grin. A week after the death, Hermione had a complete break down and went hysterical. Dumbledore immediately ordered for her to be taken to a London doctor and prescribed to anti-depression medication. It was the only thing keeping her sane.

She tried to get away again, but failed. " Far from, I just can't take it for awhile".

" What's going on Hermione?" he had a tone that was somewhat demanding.

Hermione let out a long sigh, " I'd rather not say here".
Ron followed her to the empty and dimly lit Transfiguration classroom. He was slightly under the impression that Hermione stumbled across a secret that he a few others once had. She was not suppose to have ever known, but this wouldn't he her reaction. It was something else.

She was pacing in front of her desk, he was leaning against one of the desks. " I thought the illness was a side effect of the medicine. When I went to see Promfrey, she was telling me that vomiting would be normal for a little while".

He raised an eyebrow, " what are you talking about?".

" I'm pregnant" she whispered.

Ron's jaw dropped, he froze for a split second, " y-you're what?".

She turned around, biting her lop, " I'm pregnant, I just found out last week".

He stood up straight, " who's the father? I didn't know you were in a relationship".

" Harry" she muttered, seeing him gape again, " it was a really short relationship I guess you could say. I don't know what I'm going to do, I can't raise a baby by myself, and not too many people will be crazy about the child of a murderer".

" Hermione, it's..".

" Don't tell me it's going to be alright! It's not, maybe other things, but not this. How am I suppose to move on with a baby?".

Ron sighed, " I don't know. But no matter what happens, I'll be here".

She gave a weak smile, " thanks. And please, don't tell anyone. I will admit I don't like secrets being kept from me, but it's hard enough just being the ex-lover".

Ron was still her best friend, but it wasn't the same, not even close. He wasn't the father of her unborn child and she wasn't in love with him. But he was always going to be around, maybe that didn't really make him different.
Emerging from the classroom into the dark corridor, he didn't want to leave, but Hermione insisted he did. Ginny jumped out of nowhere, seizing his wrist. " Come with me" she said in a harsh tone.

He tried to detach her grip, " why?".

" Something I have to show you, but you cannot scream".

She began pulling him into his own empty classroom that she had came from. " Ginny, you're suppose to be in bed" he complained (this was her last year at Hogwarts). " You better have a good reason for being here".

And she did. As soon as she had Ron inside, she clamped a hand over her brothers mouth to muffle his scream.

3. A Sisters Secret

Never Let You Go
Authors Note- Once again, confusion, but if you read carefully, you'll do just fine. P.S- this was written at 2 am with a head cold, slack should be cut.
Chapter Three- A Sisters Secret
" Virginia Weasley, are you absolutely insane!?" Ron screamed loud enough to wake the dead, let alone anyone sleeping at Hogwarts.

Ginny shoved him into the corridor, " will you shut-up" she hissed.

" How is this possible? I thought...".

She grabbed his chin, his voice was still too loud, " it just is. It's hard to explain".

" I think it's worth a shot!".

A shadow emerged from the Transfiguration classroom, Hermione. " What's going on?" she sounded a little scared.

" Nothing!" she beat Ron to the answer before he could get a word out of that he saw.

" I don't think that qualifies as nothing" Ron grunted.

" A spider! He just saw a spider!" Ginny had to think of something believable that Ron would scream at.

" Oh, alright" and Hermione went back inside, closing the door.

" She's still acting weird?" Ginny asked calmly, keeping her eyes on the door.

Ron sighed, " she has a lot going on".

" Like what?".

He snapped back to the current situation, " well, I don't know how much it could be now with...".

She clamped her hand again. " Shut up will you!".

" Ginny, do you understand the seriousness of any of this, I can't believe, the entire time!".

She nodded, looking a little ashamed (but thinking of how much her brother sounded like Professor McGonagall). " Maybe if I explain to both you and Hermione".

" No!" his voice boomed and his eyes widened, " no, you cannot tell Hermione!".

" Why's that?".

" She's got too much on her mind!".

Ginny smacked him upside the head, " she's three tears from insanity, and it was all because of this".

Ron leaned in as close to her as he could go, " Ginny, you told me he died. I know he didn't that night, but you said he didn't make it a week".

" I liked, okay, I admit it. I took advantage of the fact that you wouldn't go anywhere near the hospital wing. But now, I'm going to see Hermione".

He wouldn't let her go, " she's in the middle of a bad night, and she wouldn't be able to handle it" he knew such a reaction, Hermione could loose the baby.

" What is so bloody important that I can't tell her now?" Ginny was roughly demanding.

Still, Ron changed the subject, deceiving her away from that answer. " Ginny, it's dangerous keeping him in this school".

She shrugged, " it's your classroom, Promfrey said it was safer than the hospital wing".

" It doesn't matter what room because no room is safe!" Ron hissed.

" But we can't get him out! Someone will see him, and kill him".

He reflected off his sisters grief, " no, killing him would result in their consequences" he sighed, " they'd have him in Azkaban before you can say Quidditch".

" Azkaban will kill him" she gasped, " you saw how he reacted to the dementors before. Luckily everyone thinks he's dead, otherwise they'd be around here twenty-four seven. Besides, he's really weak, still, even if he was still insane he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone".

Ron peered back inside his classroom, not wanting to think about his being insane at the time. " Sleeping potion?".

Ginny nodded, " more than often, for his sake. Though he does go about some nights".

" That's not stupid of you or anything" he sarcastically grunted.

" He has his cloak on, and he doesn't even go that far".

Ron followed her gesture across the hall to the Transfiguration classroom. " So all those nights she thought he was there...he really was".

She nodded, with a slight smile. " It's almost like caring for an injured puppy. You have to care for them, nurse them back to health, make sure they don't get lost".

He mocked an eyebrow, " why are you comparing him to a dog?".

" Because it's better than the other horrible things some people are comparing him too".
After Transfiguration the next day, Ginny stayed behind as the crowd of other students filed to lunch. She waited until the door was closed before approaching Hermione's desk.

" How are you feeling today Herm?" she asked with a mixture of cheer and sympathy.

Hermione looked up and smiled, something a little rare for her, " tired, nauseous, but yet, I don't mind".

Ginny laughed, " are you pregnant or something?" she only meant it as a joke.

She set down her quill, " did Ron tell you?".

Ginny shrieked, " oh my god! You are?".

She sighed, standing from her chair, " you, like everyone else, were going to find out eventually, there's no point in denying anything now, not to anyone".

" Harry's the father?". Hermione nodded. Ginny glanced towards one of the desks, mouthing something as though someone was right next to her.

Hermione gave her a suspicious stare, looking at that same area, " what are you doing?".

" Nothing!" the tone uncovered an obvious lie.

With each step she took closer, Ginny shoved away. Her foot stepped on the edge of something, and a second later, Harry was no longer covered by the invisibility cloak.

4. Will the Real Harry Potter Please Stand Up

Never Let You Go
Chapter Four- Will the Real Harry Potter Please Stand Up
Ginny looked away, her eyes tightly shut and her hands over her ears, this was one of those times when she would give anything to be anywhere else. There Harry stood, revealed to someone new for the first time in a long time. And of all people, the one he left, the one he loved. The one who was carrying his child, but he had just found that out. He was ill, and weak, which affected his balance, but not his concentration. His emerald eyes locked on hers of amber. For seconds unknown, she stared back, her gaze growing cold as though her heart stopped. It felt like it did. Suddenly, she nearly burst with anger.

" What is this? Some kind of a joke!" she screamed.

Ginny faced her in tears, " I'm sorry Hermione! After you left, I couldn't leave him like that!" she was speaking of the night he supposedly died.

" Who is it? Ron with the polyjuice potion? How sick can you get!".

Ginny froze. Hermione didn't think he really was Harry, who could hardly budge. " No, Hermione, it-it's really...".

" Stop it!" she snarled at Harry, or to her Ron. " You called yourself and supportive and sympathetic friend when the cruelest thing you could have done! You know how much I miss him, you know how much this hurts!".

Before Harry could say a word, Ron burst into the room. " What's with all the- oh shit!".

" I'm sorry, he just wanted to- she wasn't suppose to see him!".

Hermione's eyes darted between the real Harry and the real Ron. " Oh god" she gasped.

Ron stood near Ginny as Harry and Hermione took baby steps closer to one another, like approaching a dangerous animal that Hagrid owned. Their arms extended and their fingertips brushed. At the same time, the two collapsed, Hermione from pure shock and Harry a combination of being weak and ill.

" That went well" Ginny muttered.

Ron lifted Hermione into his arms, " stay with him, I'll be right back".
Madame Promfey pushed to beds together for her newest, and luckily only, patients. Word got around that Hermione as there, and like she had black fur on her face again, curtains were set up for their sake. She was bathing Hermione's forehead in a cold cloth when she woke, dazed. Glaring around the room for a minute, she thought she was back where it all began. The night of a so called death when she was there to be treated for shock.

" Your baby is fine" the words, as comforting as they were, brought on thoughts of horror and harsh reality.

When Promfey left her, Hermione went to place a hand on her stomach, but there was already one there. Next to her, he was peacefully sleeping. His arm around her as thought afraid she may leave before he could see her again. She watched him take a few breaths, just to make sure. He was alive, she thought he was dead when he never was.

Hermione traced her fingertip along his cheek, he twitched a little. It wasn't like a dream when her hand would go through and then he'd disappear. Making sure he was still asleep, she lifted his shirt from the bottom, to his newest scar. But this one wasn't from some dark wizard, it was from Ginny, when he told her that he wanted to die. It was still fresh, the second she touched it-

" Ouch".

She pulled her hand back and looked at his face where his eyes were staring back. Hermione never thought she'd ever see that amazing color again, despite the glasses.

" Hi" she whispered, it was all she could think of to say.

" Hi" it was as simple as her.

" Are you alright?" she knew he was ill, just by looking at him it was easy to tell.

He nodded, " I'll love".

" You're good at that" Hermione gently held his hand in hers, " you've been alive this entire time" that wasn't a question.

" I'm sorry" there was so much to be sorry for.

She gave a weak smile, " it's okay. I think it'd be worse for Ron, he thought you were dead twice".

" I didn't miss Ron, not as much as I missed you. Even thought you were right there, whenever I was, you only thought it was a dream".

That's when it became clear, when she thought she was going insane, " you were really there? At night, with me?".

Harry gazed at their hands, " just laying next to you, it made all the pain go away".

She could feel a tear beginning to sting her left eye, " why didn't you just come out? Why couldn't you tell me that you were alive?".

" I was scared. I'm not sure what about, maybe about you being mad, or thinking that my attempted death was only a joke" if so, it was one hell of a scene.

Hermione shook her head, " no, of course not, no, never. I felt you die Harry, it was so real".

" Maybe for awhile it was" he still looked scared, " I wasn't conscious at the time, but Ginny said that she dragged me here, and Madame Promfey found a pulse (A/N- in the Chamber of Secrets, it is mentioned that Madame Promfey never asked too many questions about her patients). I was hidden from you, I woke up the day you left, so Dumbledore kept you out of here until the term was over. Then, Ron and Dumbledore were told that I was too sick to live, and died again. But when Pig was suppose to bring a letter from Sirius to say that was wrong to Ron. But, it's Pig, Ginny got it instead, and she took care of me".

Some of it was still confusing, it didn't make sense, but it didn't matter. None of it did, not even the deaths he committed only months before. Obviously, it wasn't an issue to most people. Most people.

Harry replaced their intertwined hands on Hermione's lower stomach, " what you said to Ginny earlier, did you...".

She nodded, " I'm pregnant, my biggest scare was that my child, our child, wouldn't ever know his father".

" Don't worry" he softly kissed her shoulder, " you can count on me. I'm not going anywhere".
Authors Note- That very last line, it's a lie. Harry doesn't know that, but I do.

5. Relevations

Never Let You Go
Authors Note- Okay, maybe that one authors note bad idea. Harry's NOT going to die again, I promise. I wouldn't do that twice.
Chapter Five- Revelations
It was the first night in threw months either slept peaceful enough. It was the first night ever that they slept in each others arms. For hours of complete bliss, Hermione thought her life had actually reached perfect. The only she truly loved was back, and there to stay, and soon enough they would have a baby. Perhaps they were rather young, but they had been through enough to prove parenthood. As weird as it was being close to him and how much she didn't want it to end, all good things have downfalls.

In the eyes of the Wizard World, Harry Potter was still a criminal. The charges of murder and attempted murder (even though Ginny easily forgave him) could mean the end. Despite his lack of sanity at the time.
Harry woke at what must have been seven or eight that night, he couldn't hear Madame Promfrey around the curtained area. He looked down at the sleeping angel nestled in his arms, her hands clamped around his wrists. The invisibility cloak laid sprawled across both beds, Ron had brought it. Ron, Harry's best friend, he had to see him. After returning from the ' dead', twice, he deserved an explanation, from Harry.

Detaching himself, he quietly crept towards the edge, listening for any sound, trying to ignore the extreme pain in his body.

" I tell you, he's here!" a sudden voice caused him to silently jump. He stepped back at the boy's voice, crouching down as a second voice emerged.

" How is that possible? Everyone knows he died before the end of last term" this one was a girl.

The footsteps scurried around, they weren't that far away. " Natalie Whymburg said she caught a glimpse when Professor Weasley went into the Transfiguration classroom earlier".

The girl sighed, " that's stupid. Harry Potter's life is just a legend as his death. Some seventh year killed him". They were talking about him.

" I bet you he's around here somewhere" the dim candlelight was enough to cast two hazy shadows on the curtain right in front of him. They were growing taller and taller.

Harry dove under the bed just as the curtain was moved aside. " See, it's Professor Granger" the girl claimed.

" But there's two beds, don't you get it? They're hiding him because no one can know he's alive. I'm telling you, this school isn't as honest as it seems".

The girl was getting annoyed. " Whatever Damon, I'm going to bed before we get expelled, good luck finding a ghost" her footsteps drifted away towards the door.

He followed, " I'm going to spread the word that Harry Potter, is still alive".

Harry stayed hidden until the footsteps had faded away. " Hermione" he gasped, " Hermione" a little louder.

The bed above him shifted, Hermione peered her face over the side of the bed, " what are you doing?".

" There's a student, and he knows I'm here" he whispered.

She slid onto the floor, " did he see you?" Harry shook his head, " then how does he know?".

" I don't know" his voice shook in his throat, " but he's going to tell".

Hermione scooted closer to him, " Dumbledore knows, and if he hasn't done anything rash, you're safe".

" I don't feel safe" she took his hands and kissed his knuckles, " what if the Ministry finds out? They'll make sure I die for good".

" No they won't Harry. Ron and I will come up with something, but until then, you said it yourself, you're not going anywhere" she could feel him shaking and pulled him into her arms, " I love you too much to let you go again".

He struggled for a deep breath, " I-I didn't mean to kill them, I really didn't".

She rested her chin on his shoulder, her hand softly stroking his neck, " I'd love you even if you did".

" I don't know what it was".

" Don't scare yourself, I'm going to help you just like I promised. But now, just go to sleep, that's all you have to do". Hermione waited until she could feel him relax in her arms, calm enough to sleep. Only then did she close her eyes when he did,

" I love you" he breathed.
Ron came racing into the hospital wing not long after breakfast the next morning. Nearly knocking down the curtains, the beds were empty, but he could see Hermione's foot sticking out from underneath. He dropped to the floor where they were sleeping.

" Harry!" he whispered harshly, " Harry, wake up!".

From behind Hermione, he lifted his head, " what?" he was still looking ill and exhausted.

" We have a problem" Hermione opened her eyes, " the entire school knows you're here" Harry sat up, hitting his head on the bed, " Dumbledore was too late, one of the prefects sent an owl to the Ministry".

Hermione scrambled out from under the beds, " oh no, what are we going to do?" she bent down to help a weak Harry.

Ron went for the silver cloak laying over the bed frames, " the only thing we can do, we're going to get him out of here". He pulled Harry to his feet and threw the cloak over him so it looked as though Ron was holding only air.

" Where?" he asked.

" Burrow, mum already knows we're coming".

But Hermione grabbed his other arm, " Ron, look at him".

" The whole point of the cloak is that I can't do just that".

" He's too sick, we can't move him!".

" We don't have much of a choice Herm. It's there or Azkaban prison, and I think we know which is better!".

She hesitated, then nodded. They watched every direction like two hungry eagles, pulling Harry down any corridor that was deserted, moving somewhat slow.

" Ginny has some Floo Powder in the Gryffindor common room" Ron said.

Only feet from the Fat Lady's portrait , the three of them caught gaze of the swarm of dementors at the other end. They were heading closer by the second, their gray hoods fixed on them. Ron loudly cursed, pulling Harry from Hermione's grip and jumped over the cloak that had slipped off.

" May flowers!" Ron screamed, the Gryffindor password.

The portrait moved aside, Hermione was the last one through, she could see a hooded figure in an eye corner as she crawled through and the portrait began to close the hole.

Ginny was already prepared, standing by the fireplace. She scoped the powder into Harry's hand just before Ron shoved him into the ash.

" The Burrow!".