And the Reason is You

The Dark Aeon

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 08/07/2004
Last Updated: 08/07/2004
Status: completed

Harry has left a letter for Hermione. What does it say, and how does it affect her?

Chapters

1. Chapter

1. Chapter

Author's Note: Hoobastank wrote the lyrics to The Reason, and Ms. Rowling owns Harry, Hermione, and any other character mentioned in this story.

When I first heard this song, I thought of a letter that someone would write, finally revealing his or her feelings for the other person. But there had to be something big for these feelings to be shown. And that's where Harry Potter and friends come in. I'm happy with the way that this turned out and it just more realistic than I realized when I started to write this.

“Harry?” Hermione asked. She came walking down the stairs early that morning, hoping to catch a sight of her best friend, Harry Potter. He had been working so hard for the past few months, trying to learn how to defeat Voldemort. She rarely got to see him anymore, but the morning was one of the few times that she did.

Harry pushed himself away from everyone, but Hermione was the only one who didn't let go. It wasn't until recently did Harry begin to avoid her. He was working so hard, and even got out of his regular classes just to end this stupid war. Dumbledore was training him and pushing him hard. Hermione stayed up, waiting for him. Harry looked so tired and ragged, but he always held a smile when would run into his arms, hugging him.

Neither talked about what Harry's training was, and Hermione knew that Harry wouldn't really talk about it anyways. She couldn't stand by and do nothing, especially with how depressed he would look before the hug. But even with him pushing her away, Hermione remained firm by his side, even it if was just for a little bit at a time. She put off all her studying if Harry came to her for something. Hermione didn't care if the N.E.W.T.S were coming up; he needed her more then some stupid test.

And so that was the way it was for most of the year. Hermione would only see her friend twice a day, in the morning and evening. Sometimes, Harry would come down and ask for her help on something, but never gave her the full story. But it was still enough just have him talk with her and make both their days. Hermione even forsook Ron just to spend time with Harry.

Hermione and Ron began to go out just after school started. It was what was expected. Everyone thought that they always had crushes on each other with the way they always fought. Ron was so sweet, but, Hermione remembered, he had such a jealous streak. They broke up around Christmas, with Ron blaming her after she caught him cheating with another girl. He said that it was her fault for spending so much time with a friend who wasn't even there half the time. Harry walked in just as Ron was yelling at her and blaming her, and Hermione still didn't believe what happened that day.

The fire blazed, almost igniting the couches right in front of it. The room was silent, even the fire didn't make a noise. And all eyes were on Harry. His hands were glowing green as were his eyes, the raw energy was flaring off the sides of eyes. Whether out of fear or anger, Ron was shaking. But Hermione was not afraid once during the entire thing, she knew that Harry would never hurt her.

Harry spoke once and all he said was “out.” The room emptied quickly and quiet. Hermione didn't move, all she did was stare in awe at Harry. At that time, she couldn't even dream that he had that much power. But as quick as it happened, it was over just as quickly. What Ron was going to say came back to her, and Hermione remembered nothing else but crying in Harry's arms. After that moment, he was so distant from her, but they kept up their morning and evening meetings.

Coming down to an empty common room was an unusual event, especially with Harry usually waiting for Hermione. The fire was roaring, but no Harry. The books that Hermione left for him the night before were still there, but no Harry. Hermione walked over to the couch where they usually sat and talked for a few minutes and found a note. Hermione knew something was wrong. She started to cry, and prayed to God that the note wasn't what she thought it was. With tears in her eyes, Hermione picked up the note from Harry and read it.

Dear Hermione,

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I hope this you are the first one to read this. That way at least some of my reputation will remain. (Laughs) You are the only one means the world to me, and I couldn't see you hurt any more if I met you in person to say goodbye.

For so long, I've been working so hard to defeat Voldemort. As much as I hate to trust Dumbledore, even now, I fear that he is right. This is the better way. If I saw you before I left, then I not sure I would have been able to. Please forgive me, `Mione. You mean too much to me to lose as a friend.

Hermione some how sat down while reading the letter. `Mione, it was the nickname that he used for her, him and only him. Her tears were now following down her cheeks; smearing what little make-up she wore. The make-up she bought just for Harry. Wiping a single tear, Hermione continued to read the letter.

You were my rock this past few years, `Mione. I depended so much on you, and I didn't even thank you once for that. I must me be the greatest fool. I'm sorry and thank you. Thank you Hermione for teaching me how to cast the summoning charm. Thank you, `Mione for showing me what I was fighting during our second year. Thank you for helping me in potions. Thank you, `Mione…

And the list went on and on. Hermione didn't even remember half the things that happened until she read the letter. Some of the things were everyday things that she always did. The tears stopped out of shock. She didn't even know that Harry remembered everything that she had done for him. It touched Hermione to think that someone cared that much about her. Hurrying, she skipped to the next paragraph. But her eyes caught the last line in the long list. Thank you, `Mione, for being you. This brought back the tears as she read.

You are beautiful, Hermione and the rest of the wild is just blind. I'm really surprised to see you wait until this year to get a boyfriend. Sorry it didn't work out. I just wish that I could've stopped your pain. You don't deserve to be hurt, my beautiful angel.

It comes to this, `Mione. I will end it. All I can promise you is that He will die. I won't allow anything else happen to you… or Ron. You are too important to me, and I…can't live without you.

I've decided that I had to tell you something. It seems to important to me for it to wait, and I need to get it off my chest.

I love you with all my heart and soul. And I hope that you return it.

Ron looks like it was added just at the last moment before Harry continued on with his letter. Hermione had to put the letter down. She prayed that he was all right and he would return home to her. This was the most emotion Hermione had been since Christmas, but she had to be strong, she had to finish the letter.

He shall not hurt you anymore. I know of your dreams, your nightmares of your parents. I will have revenge. It ends now…

This letter is also my last will and testaments; Dumbledore's signature is on the bottom. I asked him if he could sign this before I left. I've…

And Hermione couldn't read anymore. Harry finally resigned to the fact that he might die. And the fact that he asked Dumbledore to be his witness proved that he truly thought that it was all over. The tears didn't stop and Hermione crumpled up the paper and threw it away. It was a bad dream's; that's all it was. But Harry's words came back to her as she ran away back up to her room.

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

()()()()()()

The next few days were like a dream to Hermione. She didn't leave her room and barely left her bed save for necessary things. Her roommates were smart enough to leave her alone; Hermione wasn't the top student in her class for nothing. Dobby was the only one who she was really talked to, or rather Dobby talked and she listened. The only thing that she cared about was gone and possibly dead.

Sitting on her bed, Hermione held the picture album that Harry gave her for Christmas close to her heart. The tears didn't stop rolling down her cheeks, even when she slept. Hermione always woke up to a wet pillow, and she would cry even harder. Harry was gone, her Harry. She needed her Harry back.

A knock came from the door, and Hermione held the album tighter. It was probably someone who wanted to tell her that Harry was dead. “Who is it?” Hermione asked weakly. Crying had taken a lot out of her voice. Dobby appeared promptly.

“Let Dobby get it, Harry's miss,” he said. Hermione couldn't help but blush at that nickname. Even while she was dating Ron, Dobby continued to use it, which was probably the reason why Ron stopped going to kitchens. He didn't want to see Dobby or any of the other house-elves who had taken the liberty of using that nickname, which was most of them.

Walking over to the door slowly, Dobby opened it with a grin, but it quickly left him. “Hello, Harry's friend,” Dobby said. “What is Dobby can do for you?”

Ron stood at the doorway, looking at Hermione then back at Dobby. No one move for a bit, save Hermione lying down so she could turn her back to Ron. Rubbing the back of his head, Ron opened his mouth but closed it. “Since when does Hermione abuse the house-elves like this?” Ron asked, being his typical self, a prat. He never did like the idea of S.P.E.W. and never understood it. At least Harry did. Hermione wanted to sob, but held it in.

“Dobby is simple being a friend to Harry's miss,” Dobby replied. “Something Harry's friend couldn't do.” He started to close the door, but Ron stopped it.

“Dobby, stop this,” Ron said. His voice was filled with defeat. “I just wanted to talk with Hermione, that's all.”

“Harry's friend can talk from here.” Dobby walked back over to Hermione and began to change the pillow. She had cried herself to sleep, and apparently, through the night.

“No, it's alright,” Hermione finally said, “he can come in and take a seat.” She sat back up again, but refused to let go of the photo album. Ron walked in and pulled a chair from one of the vanity mirror and sat next to the bed. Dobby left after he changed the linens and told Hermione that he would bring up lunch for her.

For a while no one talked; Hermione just looked down at her lap and Ron at the floor. “You wanted to talk with me,” Hermione said, “so talk.”

Ron didn't move, he just stared at the floor. “I read Harry's letter the day after you locked herself in here,” Ron said. Hermione was shocked. She thought that she had thrown the letter into the fire. No one should have read that letter. “Is that the reason why you've locked yourself in her? Because you feel guilty that you were leading him on like you were with me?” the last part was filled with sarcasm.

“Leading him on?” Hermione asked. How dare Ron think that? “What do you mean?”

“Like what you did with me?” Ron asked. “How you said that you like me? How you always pushed me to do my work? How you always argued with me? How you didn't tell me that you didn't feel anything?”

“You were a prat,” Hermione replied, but looked down. She just realized how she did lead him on. Hermione did always argued with him, and for a while, she did think that they were supposed to be together. For a while, everything was normal, even while they were dating. Ron and Hermione would just sit closer together, hug more often and hold hands whenever they walked placed together. But Ron kept pushing for more and the more that he did that, the more Hermione felt uncomfortable.

It was around Halloween when they actually had their first real kiss, nothing like little pecks on the cheek or forehead, but a real kiss. And Hermione felt nothing. Nothing towards Ron or the kiss. But apparently Ron had held something because when they broke apart, he had a large grin on his face.

After that, Ron was right. She did lead him on. They had more kisses like that one, some more powerful, or at least they should have been, but Hermione never felt anything. It was hard for her to keep up the pretense, but she was able to. That is, until Christmas. In truth, Hermione hoped that she would feel something for Ron, but that feeling never came. For Harry… it was always there, and Hermione knew it. “Am I right?” Ron asked, and a hopeful look was painted on his face. Hermione turned away. “You were leading him on?” She didn't wand to answer him. The tears started to come back as did her memories.

The night that she found Ron with Lavender Brown on the couch in the common room was still fresh in her mind. She went running out into the hall, and to the library, which seemed her only safe haven anymore. A flash, and Harry was holding her in his arms, rocking her back and forth. A flash, the moment she kissed his cheek after their fourth year. A flash, Harry holding her. Flash, her hugging Harry for something sweet he did. There were so many memories that Hermione held dear to her heart, and Harry was in most of them. Maybe she was leading him on, but leading him only to her heart.

“I'll take that as a no,” Ron said, and it sounded like he stood up. “Just think about all that you've done, Herms. Think real hard if what you read might be returned.” Hermione listened as Ron walked out, and the moment the door closed, Hermione began to cry again.

They were returned, that's the problem. Now, after all these years of being with Harry, she knew that he was always there for and she for him. Harry had gone off without her ever telling him how she felt. He might never return, and that was the worst part of it. He would never knew that his feelings were returned. The tears began to fall onto the pillow as a empty sleep took over her. Empty because she knew that Harry wasn't going to be there when she woke up.

()()()()()()

Some words echoed through her sleep. They were sung by a young man's voice, out of tune and off key. Hermione sniffed, it was beautiful. She didn't want to open her eyes, and just dream that Harry was beside her, with her.

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

Hermione's eyes slowly opened and she saw a small green-eyed boy staring at her. For a moment, she thought that it was a dream. Staring straight ahead, the boy continued to sing.

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

She didn't want to believe it. It couldn't be Harry. It just couldn't it. Last night, she had resigned herself to never seeing him again. And here he was. Praying that this wasn't a dream, Hermione reached out with one hand and touched the boy's cheek. It was real. Her Harry was back.

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

Jumping out of her bed, Hermione hugged him tightly. She didn't want to let go, fearing that he would disappear again on her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her as close as she could be. Hermione wiggled slightly and looked up at Harry, who was smiling at her. He paused in his soft sweet song only for a moment when she moved. And now he started again.

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

Hermione wept on his shoulder. He was back; she couldn't believe it. Her Harry was back with her. Sobbing she barely got out the three words she promised herself that she would say to him when she saw Harry again. “I love you.” Hermione looked up at him, still teary-eyed, to see a smile and his owns tears forming.

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

“I love you,” he said and smiled his boyish smile at her. Her crying returned, this time for joy. Harry was back. And they were finally together.

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