Affectionless

LilPrincess48

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 09/07/2004
Last Updated: 25/08/2004
Status: in_progress

Challenge Fic. Hermione’s sick of everyone thinking that she and Harry are secretly together and that article was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She blames Harry, saying that it’s his fault for being so ‘affectionate’. Harry, amused, bets Hermione that she can’t go without his affections for a week. Let the games begin.

Chapters

1. The Article That Started It All

2. Now Where Did THAT Come From?

3. Collaborating With Ginny and Malfoy

4. Bad News From Home And Hermione Gives Up

5. Putting The Plan Into Action

1. The Article That Started It All

Title: Affectionless

Author: LilPrincess48

Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter. As you can see, Harry and Hermione got together by Book 3, if not sooner. Ginny is dating Draco behind Ron’s back, there are many more mentions of Harry’s parents, Voldemort is gay, Sirius Black has been declared innocent of all charges, the Dursleys were turned into peppermints and Peter Pettigrew got his head chopped off, instead of just his finger.

… Obviously, since none of this has happened in the books, I don’t own Harry Potter.

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Challenge Fic. Hermione’s sick of everyone thinking that she and Harry are secretly together and that article was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She blames Harry, saying that it’s his fault for being so ‘affectionate’. Harry, amused, bets Hermione that she can’t go without his affections for a week. Let the games begin.

Author’s Note: One upon a time ago, I was in school. Now I’m not. I’m a worthless, old hack. Well, okay, not worthless. And definitely not old. But I am graduated and have a lot of free time. Woo!

Category: Romance. Humor. Fun.

Spoilers: None. Well, books 1 – 4, maybe. -_- I haven’t read five so I'm completely disregarding it. Don’t kill me!

Feedback: Please.

Setting: Hogwarts, 6th Year

Date Begun: June 14, 2004

Date Posted: June 14, 2004

Chapter 1: The Article That Started It All

Harry jumped as a rather thick book was dropped onto the table -- more specifically onto his plate of pancakes and bacon. He raised an eyebrow and looked up into the annoyed face of his best friend, Hermione Granger, right before she plopped down next to him.

"Tell me what that says." Harry looked down at the thick book. It was a magazine called Inside Hogwarts, being put out by none other than Pavarti and Lavender.

He wasn't surprised; there was no one nosier than those two.

His eyes lowered to the article the magazine was open to and he read:

Harry Potter Is TAKEN!

I have a big disappointment to you, the 143 members of the Official Harry Potter Fan Club (Merlin, when did that happen? Harry mused.). It seems that our very own Boy-Who-Lived has been taken. Yes, he is no longer single. And who has captured the heart of our teenage hero and part-time heartthrob?

Hermione Jane Granger.

Harry's eyebrow shot up again.

It seems that Miss Granger and Harry have been secretly dating, all the way back since their Fourth Year and, really, are any of us surprised? The constant touching, 'causal hugs', not to mention the fact that they're always together should have been our first clue.

That kiss on the cheek should have been the second.

Hermione, catching where he was up to, snorted in distaste. "I swear, they've got enchanted cameras or something!"

While I am sure many of you are disappointed (Possibly even a certain Weasley girl we all know and love), we, the writes of Inside Hogwarts would like to congratulate Harry and Hermione, both on their relationship, and on the fact that they managed to hide it for two years.

Good luck.

-- Pavarti Patil and Lavender Brown

Writers and Editors of Inside Hogwarts

Harry stifled an amused grin as he finished, handing the magazine back to Hermione and looking down at his squashed breakfast. Well... He wasn't all that hungry anyway.

"Doesn't that just make your blood boil? I mean, honestly, haven't we told them enough that we are not together?" Hermione fumed. Harry laughed at the look on her face. Steam was practically pouring out of her ears.

"'Mione,” he said, wrapping and arm around her shoulders. "Don't take it so personally. I think it's funny."

"You would." She said with a glare. "It's all your fault that they think so!"

"My fault?" Harry blinked.

"Yes! Just look!" She pointed at the arm he had casually slung over her shoulder. "It's your fault! You're always so affectionate with me! The hugs before and after classes, the way you always hold my hand whenever we walk together... If I didn't know any better, I'd think we were a couple, too!"

"Who's a couple?" Ron asked, sitting down at the table along with Seamus, Dean, Ginny, and Neville.

"No one!" Hermione snapped furiously. Harry chuckled.

"Hermione's upset because Lavender and Pavarti wrote an article about me and her being together."

"Again?" Dean asked, cutting off a piece of his pancake. Harry watched in jealously, then nodded.

"Yes. Again." Ron grinned, seeing Harry's look, and passed Harry a pancake and three pieces of bacon off his own plate. "Mione says it's my fault for always being so affectionate."

"It is your fault!" Hermione reinstated. "You've got to stop being so 'friendly'."

"Friends acting friendly. Wow, I never would have thought it." Seamus commented, getting a laugh from everyone, but Hermione.

"It's not funny." She protested. Harry immediately stopped laughing, seeing that Hermione was truly upset about this. He smirked.

"Come now, Mione. We all know that you wouldn't last a week with my hugs, hand-holds, and all that lot." An indignant Hermione placed flashing brown eyes on Harry.

"I could so."

"Are you sure about that Hermione?" Ron asked, smirking as well. "It's a set process for you. 'I'm sad. I've got go get a hug from Harry. I want to take a walk. I wonder if Harry will take my hand and lead me through the corridors.'"

"I do not think like that!"

"I beg to differ, Hermione." Ginny said with a huge smile. Hermione glared at the younger girl who innocently sipped her orange juice.

"Up for a wager, then, Mione?"

"What kind of wager?" Hermione asked, eyeing Harry warily. "What's in it for you?"

"The wager is that you can't go one week without any sort of affectionate contact from me." Harry said. "That includes: Hugs--"

"-- Holding hands--" Ron inputted.

"-- Playing with each other's hair--" Ginny added in as well.

"-- Sitting with your heads all close together--" Seamus said with a laugh. "Like you always do."

"Oh, and don't forget when we come down to the Common Room and they're all curled up together." Dean snickered. "None of that either."

"Have we got a deal, Mione?" Harry asked, extending his hand.

"Once again," Hermione, the ever cautious one said, "What's in it for you?"

"Well, if I win, and you really can't go without me touching you affectionately for a week, then..." Harry paused as he thought, then grinned. "Then you have to lighten up about everybody thinking we're together... And then publicly announce that we are!"

"What?!" Hermione nearly shouted as the other members of their group fell into hysterics. She calmed herself quickly and smirked. "Fine. But if I win then you have to publicly deny that we were ever together and then take the first girl you see afterwards on a date to Hogsmeade."

Harry hesitated a moment, then nodded and held out his hand. "Deal."

"Deal." Hermione said, shaking it. Ron grinned.

"Let the games begin!"

2. Now Where Did THAT Come From?

Title: Affectionless

Author: LilPrincess48

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do not own Daniel Radcliffe. i do not own Draco Malfoy. I do not own Tom Felton. I do not own the Weasley twins, either. Must you constantly remind me of my inner turmoil???

Author's Note: Sorry about the long wait and, gosh, thanks for the reviews. I love you guys! ^___^ I’m down with a fever right now so before I’m gone for another long period of time, here’s the next chapter. And, oh yes, I stayed up all night reading the fifth book. At least now I know what I missed. Ron and Loony Lovegood? Eh, why not. Right, then, here we go.

Date Begun: June 16, 2004

Date Posted: June 16, 2004

Chapter 2: Now Where Did THAT Come From?

Hermione was quite, quite convinced that Harry Potter simply had to be some sort of hellish demon in disguise.

The trio was sitting in Herbology and Hermione was, for once, not paying the slightest bit of attention to the lesson. Her attention was much more focused on the fact that Harry was flirting up a storm with some Ravenclaw girl. The sight made her blood boil for reasons she wasn't really sure off. What, she wasn't good enough for him?

"Hermione... Er... I don't think it'd do us very good in the long run for you to burn a hole into the back of Harry's head..." Ron interjected carefully, knowing from firsthand experience just how horrible Hermione's temper could get. She cast him a glare, then sulked in her seat. “What is the matter, anyway?"

"Harry. He's... And... Like some kind of... I feel so..." Hermione ran her fingers through her hair. "What are we supposed to be doing right now?"

"Mione,” Hermione looked up to see Harry raising an amused eyebrow at her. "Weren't you paying attention?"

"Well... No..." There was a collective gasp from Harry and Ron which caused Hermione to flush and shout "Shut up!" before falling silent again.

"I never thought I'd see the day..." Ron muttered.

"What's got our Mione so riled up that she can't pay attention to a few plants and things?" Hermione scowled. She couldn't very well say, "Oh, Harry, you see I wasn't paying attention because I was overcome by this utterly bizarre wave of jealousy when I saw you flirting with that girl." She could just imagine how well that would go. Before she could think up a good excuse, Harry and Ron had switched seats and Harry was now sitting beside her. She noted with displeasure that he was keeping a reasonable distance away. "Oh, come on, you can tell me."

"I can't."

"We're best friends aren't we?" Hermione raised her gaze to him in time to see him fix her with a hurt puppy look and she immediately felt guilty. Damn him for having that effect on her!

"Of course we are, Harry." She hastily reassured him. "It's just that I--"

"She's madly in love with you and wants to give up the bet already." Ron interjected, getting a cross glare from Hermione. "Or not."

Harry grinned. "Well, if that's all that's worrying you--"

"It is not. I wasn't even thinking of that at all! Sometimes I swear you two can be so--"

"Miss Granger, please return to the assignment and stop conversing with Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley." The three in question flushed a bright red and went back to their work, though neither of the boys missed the glare Hermione shot them next. They were scared. The glare distinctly held something vindictive about it... And no student in Hogwarts knew more curses than Hermione...

*

He knew she was watching him. And she knew he knew. And he knew she knew that he knew. And she knew that he knew that she knew that... Harry shook his head before his thoughts confused him any more than they already had. Either way, he felt Hermione's eyes on him as he stuffed his third piece of pumpkin pie into his mouth and raised an eyebrow in false interest at whatever Ron was hammering on about and fought the urge to smirk.

As arrogant as it sounded, Harry knew that Hermione couldn't make it the full week. He knew it. It was merely her stubborn and rebellious nature that had made her take up the bet in the first place. It would only be a matter of time before she gave up... And then Harry could make his move... Maybe even finally admit the secret he'd been keeping ever since they were in 5th Year.

"Harry. Harry! Are you listening to me?" Ron shouted, bring Harry out of his thought process. The Boy Who Lived blinked.

"Er... Yes?"

"Right. So what was I talking about?"

"Er... How Snape is a bloody git who gave us way too much homework and should have his greasy hair washed out and his nose shortened a couple inches?"

Ron fumed. "Lucky guess."

Harry grinned, his gaze traveling across the table to Hermione, who was now chatting animatedly to the just-arrived-at-the-table Ginny. She looked flushed and out of breath and her hair and clothes were disheveled. She also had a familiar glint in her eye...

Somebody'd been having a grand old time in the broom closet with Malfoy again. Harry mentally crossed his fingers and hoped that Ron didn't find them there one day. He'd either be out of a best friend or out of a rival.

Hm... The latter wouldn't be so bad...

"HARRY!" Ron shouted again, causing Harry to jump and choke on his pumpkin pie. When he finally got it dislodged from his thought (And floating interestingly in Neville Longbottom's goblet of pumpkin juice), he raised an eyebrow at Ron, who looked sheepish, but firm none-the-less. "Would it kill you to listen to me?"

"Actually, considering your judgment skills, Ron, it might someday." George said, plopping down on one side of Harry as Fred plopped down on the other. Well... He thought it was George. It might have been Fred who spoke and George who plopped. Harry really couldn't be sure.

"Ha, ha, George." Ron said unhumorously. Fred grinned.

"Aw, did we make Ickle Ronnikins upset?"

"Shut up, Fred."

"Now, Ronnikins, don't take that tone with us." George said, grinning widely. "Anyway, hullo Harry. Heard all about that bet you made with Hermione. How's that going so far?"

"Perfectly well." Hermione interjected. Harry raised an eyebrow at her, wondering how long she'd been listening. "Harry and I haven't touched all day."

"And the withdrawal is killing you." Parvati inputted, earning a snicker from Lavender.

"Maybe you should keep your mouth shut and stay out of other people's business." Hermione said coolly. "I daresay you've done enough meddling to last a lifetime, the both of you."

Harry watched with mild interest as Parvati and Lavender flushed an interesting shade of red before advancing on Hermione in a fit of screaming and arguments which she threw right back at them, equally as enraged. Harry wondered if he should be insulted. Was there something so wrong with being widely known as his girlfriend--?

"Hey, Lavender." He said, drawing her out of the argument briefly. "In your article, there was something about an Official Harry Potter Fan Club..." He flushed bright red just thinking about it. It was bad enough that he was in every newspaper, magazine, or tabloid every two months or so, but now he had a fan club? And how had they gotten official?

"Oh yes." She said dreamily. "I've been to some of their meetings. They do have quite a collection of your things, you know. A few of your shoes--"

"Er..."

"A lock or two or three of your hair--"

"My..."

"Some discarded robes, a half-eaten piece of toast--"

"Half-eaten, you say?" Fred asked, joining the conversation. Lavender nodded.

"They've also got an assortment of Every Flavor Beans that you spat out and, interestingly enough, a pair of your boxers with golden snitches all over them--"

Harry gulped down what he had been eating and stood. Hermione looked at him. "Harry, where are you going?"

"I'm going to go hide under the bed in the dormitory. Come back for me when you're forty and everybody’s long since forgotten who I am. Goodbye." Hermione and Ron raised an eyebrow as he swept briskly out of the Great Hall, casting nervous looks over his shoulder.

"What was that about?" Hermione asked.

Lavender shrugged, looking innocent while Fred burst into a fit of laughter. "I haven't a clue.

*

Day 1

So far it's been easy. Harry thinks I need his affection. Ha! He thinks I'm some kind of dependent little hormonal teenage girl, does he? Ha! Thinks I'm a member of his fan club does he? Ha!

Okay, maybe not so ha.

I really have no clue why I'm even writing this. I'm just going to burn this parchment afterwards. Just to keep myself preoccupied I guess. I've already read this chapter of Fantastic Beats and Where To Find Them seventeen times already.

I must admit, I had quite a bit of a problem when we all took a seat for dinner. i couldn't take my eyes off him. It was like they were stuck watching how each individual strand of hair on his head had a mind of his own, how smooth his skin looked and how much smoother it must be to touch, the curve of his neck, the--

Merlin's beard, I need help!

*

"Have you ever thought about snogging him?" Ginny asked off-handedly when Hermione finished recounting her thoughts at dinner. Hermione looked shocked, her cheeks flaming.

"I-I... I mean... that is to say... Er..."

"Because,” Ginny carried on briskly. "When I first started to fancy Draco, I'd always stare at him and wonder what it'd be like to grab him and pull him down for a snog."

"And you have no problem doing so now, do you?" Ginny smirked, but Hermione pressed on in a business-like manner. "But I'm not in love with my best friend. I'm merely going through the typical teenage hormonal stage where I find anything remotely attractive to be the sexiest thing ever."

"Harry is not just any thing." Ginny said grinning. "And as a member of the Official Harry Potter Fan Club -- And the one who supplied them with the golden switch tighty-wightys -- I should hex you for that."

"Ginny, I need some help. I’ve got to make it through this week. I have to prove that I can. Harry and I are not a couple and--"

"Why are you so violently opposed to the idea, anyway? I, for one and if I didn't have Draco, would be overjoyed that everybody thought Harry and I were dating."

"I don't know what you see in him, anyway." Hermione said, changing the subject. "I mean, really, it's Draco Malfoy."

"If you’d've ever snogged him, you'd know." Ginny said dreamily. "And, besides, that bad-boy act is just a mask he puts on."

"Hiding a dirty, lowlife of a person, right?" Both girls snapped their heads towards the door for the source of the mysterious, yet familiar voice, and seeing no one, Hermione whipped out her wand.

"Accio Invisibility Cloak." Said cloak immediately flew into her hand, revealing a sheepish looking Harry. "How long have you been there?"

"Just got here, actually. In time to here you mention Malfoy and that's about it." Hermione hoped he was telling the truth.

"What are you doing in here, anyway, Harry? This is the Head Girl's bedroom. Which, as we all know, if Hermione." Ginny said, an air of pride to her tone. Hermione flushed.

"Yeah, and I'm Head Boy in case you've forgotten. But that's not why I'm here. I'm hiding."

"From what?" Hermione asked as he sat down next to her.

"From--” He suddenly grabbed the invisibility cloak out of her hands and wrapped himself in it, disappearing from view. The dip in the bed where he’d been disappeared a swell. Suddenly, two fifth year Gryffindor girls came racing him, panting.

"Have you seen... Harry Potter come this way..." One breathed.

"We just asked him... For another pair of boxers because we lost the first pair... And he took off..." Hermione felt a pang of jealous before amusement overcame it and she smiled. Exchanging glances with Ginny, she grinned and relied,

"Haven't seen him."

"Nope. Not all day."

"We might know where he's hidden though."

"I think he said something about--"

"Hiding out in--"

"The girl's lavatory."

"Mmhmm."

The girl's exchanged glances and Hermione felt a sharp whap on the back of her head, but ignored it, reveling in the look of utter confusion on the girl's faces.

"Why... Why's he...?"

"He hated looking at urinals all the time so he started going into the girls' bathroom instead of the boys'." Hermione explained, ignoring the second whap. The girls, looking very, very confused, turned and headed down the stairs and once they were completely out of earshot, Hermione was picked up from behind and found herself under the Invisibility Cloak with an annoyed Harry mere inches before her.

"That was a low blow, Granger." He rattled off coolly. Hermione grinned.

"Hey, we covered for you didn't we?"

"Tsk. Snogging while invisible. Losing the bet already, Herm?" Hermione immediately sprang out from under the clock, her face bright red, but set in determination.

"That was all Harry. He pulled me under. You're not supposed to try and be affectionate!" Harry became visible, holding the Invisibility Cloak in his hand and grinning.

"It was worth a shot. I just love how you feel in my arms, Mione." Hermione flushed another deep scarlet and Harry, as if he hadn't just said such a... A... Statement... Turned to Ginny and grinned.

"See you tomorrow, Ginny. Without Malfoy I hope." Ginny rolled her eyes, but waved as Harry once again disappeared from view and waited for his footsteps to fade away down the stairs. Then she squealed. Loudly.

"Oh Hermione, did you hear that! 'I love the way you feel in my arms'... Hermione? Hermione?" The older girl seemed not to have heard her. She merely continued staring distantly off into space, a smile grazing her lips and the beginnings of another blush staining her cheeks.

3. Collaborating With Ginny and Malfoy

Title: Affectionless

Author: LilPrincess48

Disclaimer: *off-key to the tune of I Wish I Was An Oscar Meyer Weiner* I wish I was J.K. Rowling, that is who I really want to be. 'Cause if I was J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter would belong to me!!!

Author's Note: The reviews you have given me… They make me so happy. I cannot express my extreme joy that I get from your support in my time of feverish delusion. And I would just like to inform you that this story has, like, five or six or seven chapters, and they’re not all finished. And I can’t even beat myself at War. Doesn’t that say something about me as a card player?

Date Begun: June 21, 2004

Date Posted: June 21, 2004

Chapter 3: Collaborating With Ginny and Malfoy

Hermione was sure to be quiet as she snuck out past the Fat Lady, heading to the Room of Requirement. She and Ginny had arranged a secret meeting, one that would help Hermione in her resolve not to fall for Harry's charms. She did NOT need his touch, dammit! She was independent! She was free! She was not a Harry-addict.

Well, not really.

I need a place to meet Ginny. She thought, walking back and forth in front of the wall. In less than a few seconds, a door appeared. Hermione opened it and stepped inside. It was a dimly lit room with a table in the center under an overhead lamp. There were numerous papers on the table and chairs and beanbag seats littered the room. Ginny sat in the beanbag seat in the corner.

"Finally, you're here. You'd think being part of the Trio would make you able to sneak out of your room faster." The girl teased light-heartedly. Hermione made a face at her, then smiled and closed the door behind her.

"Let's get down to business. I want to get this done as quickly as possible. Just because I'm Head Girl doesn't mean--” Hermione paused. "What is he doing in here?!"

Draco Malfoy had just stepped out of the shadows on the opposite ends of the room and was now smirking at her. She glared fiercely. Ginny blushed.

"Well, er, you see, Draco kind of, I mean, he, um, and... Well..." Ginny stammered, fiddling with her fingers. Draco rolled his eyes and looked at Hermione.

"What she meant to say was, she enlisted my help on this plan. Like it or lump it, Granger." The Slytherin boy drawled. Hermione glared at Malfoy and Ginny in turn, then sighed. What choice did she have?

"Fine. But if he comes anywhere near me, I'll hex him into the next millennium!" No one in the room doubted that she could. Hermione took a seat safely on the other end of the room from Malfoy, who sat down in a chair next to Ginny. Hermione regarded them carefully. "I take it you two are still--"

"Congratulations, Granger. You're not as dense as you look." This comment provoked a sharp slap on the arm from Ginny and Draco smirked and fell silent again. Ginny stood.

"Okay, so far, it has not been going well. It's quite obvious that Harry is playing the 'flirtation' card--"

"Potter knows how to flirt?" Draco asked in mock innocence. Ginny and Hermione shot him a glare.

"As I was saying, I think the best choice as of now is to avoid him completely until the week is over, Hermione." The girl in question twitched, a motion which caused Draco and Ginny to raise an eyebrow.

"I can't do that, Ginny. We have all our classes together. And, besides, there's a match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff today. He'd be awfully disappointed if I didn't--"

"You know, it's exactly talk like that that makes everybody think you two are dating." Hermione shot Draco and inquisitive look. "Think about it, Granger. You never miss any of his matches and you're always there to hug him if he wins, and console him if he doesn't. You're always together, always joking around with each other, and I bet you know more about him than even he does, am I right?" When Hermione didn't deny it, he continued. "You ever think that maybe it isn't Harry's fault that all these rumors are flying around. Maybe it's both of your faults?"

Hermione stood up, her voice frosty. "Goodnight, Ginny."

Then, blatantly ignoring Malfoy's presence on the planet, she left. Ginny and Draco exchanged glances.

"Well,” He said, leaning back in his seat. "That could have gone better."

*

"And Potter has caught the snitch! The Gryffindors win 240 to 90!" Hermione stood and cheered, her voice drowned out among the many other Gryffindor fans in the stadium! She waved as Harry flew past the stands and ginned as he winked at her, his face alight with happiness. She loved to see him like this, happy, carefree... It was quite a contrast to how he should act considering his life was in constant peril.

The Gryffindor Quidditch Team landed their brooms and Hermione raced out of the stands, intending to give Harry his congratulations hug, as always.

It was routine. Harry landed his broom a few yards away from the stands. She ran out of the stands, her arms outstretched. He saw her coming and opened his own arms with a laugh. They hugged and he'd spin her around and around till she got dizzy, both of them laughing and laughing...

However, today, that wasn't what happened. As Hermione ran to Harry to give him a hug, he held her away, looking slightly flushed, slightly disappointment, and slightly victorious. "Think about what you're doing here, Mione. If you hug me, I win the bet."

Damn that bloody bet. Hermione thought, her face darkening. She folded her arms and glared at him. He merely stared calmly back, as if waiting to see which she would choose. Frustrated, Hermione kicked up the sand, coughing as if formed a dust cloud around them, then stormed off back into the stands.

Harry ran a hand through his hair, almost sorry he had to do that. But, he was quite sure that if he'd hugged Hermione, then reminded her of the bet, he would've ended up with either a nice curse on his head, or a huge bruise on his cheek. Hermione could slap damn hard when she wanted to. Malfoy in third year was proof of that.

Harry picked up his broom and followed the rest of the team into the locker rooms. Ron caught up with him half-way. "What was that about, mate?"

"I reminded her of the bet and she flipped out on me."

"That's Hermione for you. I bet she looked forward to these after-game hugs." Harry laughed along with Ron, but he couldn't help thinking, So did I.

*

Trouble In Paradise?

It has already been reported that the hottest couple of the school, Harry James Potter and Hermione Jane Granger, were indeed secretly dating behind all of our backs. But now, it has become evident to us that the couple has hit a rocky path in their relationship. How do we know this? Today's Quidditch match.

Of course, Gryffindor won against Hufflepuff 240 to 90. However, that is not the main point of our article. The main point is, Miss Granger rushed out of the stands to give Mr. Potter his customary congratulations hug (Which, after months of observation, we've discovered to be a routine part of their lives) and was, dare I say it, denied the privilege.

Indeed, Mr. Potter held Miss Granger at bay and said something to her which caused her to storm off in a fit of fury. One of our own was unfortunate enough to try and ask Miss Granger what had occurred and she was reported to say this, 'Get the bloody hell out of my way before I make it so you're throwing up slugs until you're older than Dumbledore!'

No one has tried to approach Miss Granger since.

Could it be that our favorite couple's relationship is going down the drain? And what does Mr. Potter have to say to this? Comments have been as follows:

"Oh, they'll get over it. Harry and Hermione find it impossible to stay mad at each other for long." -- Ginevra Weasley, Gryffindor, 5th Year

"Hey, is this going in your bloody magazine? Stop quoting me, Parvati or I swear I'll--” -- Ronald Weasley, Gryffindor, 6th Year

"Er... No comment?" -- Harry Potter himself, Gryffindor, 6th Year

"Get out of my face." -- Draco Malfoy, Slytherin, 6th Year

Stay tuned for further updates.

-- Pavarti Patil and Lavender Brown

Writers and Editors of Inside Hogwarts

*

Harry found Hermione later that night, sitting in a chair before the fire in the Common Room. She still looked displeased and seemed to be glaring deeply at it, as if it had committed some crime against her. He gulped and took a seat.

"Er... Mione? I'm..."

"Save it, Potter." She spat out. Harry shuddered at how Malfoy-like she'd sounded just then. He fiddled with the hem of his robes, occasionally shooting side glances at her. He never did like it when Hermione was mad at him.

"Look, Hermione, it's not that I didn't want to hug you, because I did." She showed no signs of hearing him, but he continued on anyway. "It's just that, well, we made the bet for a reason you know. You did say that it bothered you that people thought we were together, right? There were a lot of people who would have seen you hugging me..."

"Oh, trust me, I know. In fact, they're still talking." At his confused look, she threw the latest copy of Inside Hogwarts his way. Harry read it silently, his eyebrow raised and when he looked back at her, he was very, very amused.

"You were going to curse Lavender and Pavarti until they were older than Dumbledore?" Harry could tell Hermione was trying not to smile, but despite her efforts, she did anyway. He took that as a sign that it was safe to take the seat next to her on the couch and did so, dumping the magazine on the table in front of them.

"There's a lot more interesting articles in there, you know. They have likely and unlikely couples. This weeks L and U match-ups are Ginny and Malfoy, Ron and Luna, Ron and Me, Malfoy and Luna, Dean and Ginny, Malfoy and Pansy, and Ginny and you." Harry snorted at the last one, causing Hermione to smile and at that he knew he was forgiven. "Want to take a shot at guessing which fell under likely and which fell under unlikely?"

"Sure."

"Okay, Ginny and Malfoy."

"Unlikely."

"Likely, actually. They said that Malfoy would do it to annoy Ron and Ginny would do it because he's drop-dead sexy." Another snort from Harry. "But, anyway, Ron and Luna?"

And just like that, they spent most of the night debating the likely and the unlikely and then fell asleep together on the couch.

4. Bad News From Home And Hermione Gives Up

Title: Affectionless

Author: LilPrincess48

Disclaimer: Me no own. You no sue.

Author's Note: I'm tired, hungry, stressed, but I'm updating anyway. Need appreciation!

Date Begun: June 26, 2004

Date Posted: June 26, 2004

Chapter 4: Bad News From Home And Hermione Gives Up

Hermione's eyes filled with tears as she clutched the letter she'd just received from her mother. Her father, strong, loyal, and just as smart as she was, was in the hospital recovering from a car crash where her parents had been driving down the road and a huge black truck had slammed into her father's side of the car.

It was a miracle, the letter explained, that he hadn't been killed.

Hermione was sitting, sans robes and anything else, for that matter, except some lose jeans and an equally loose t-shirt, on a couch before the fire in the Common Room, unwilling to go back to the dorm and wake everyone up with her sobbing and unable to go anywhere else as it was after hours and she wasn't allowed in the boys' dormitories.

But, oh, how she wished Harry was here with her.

As if there were some silent genie in the room, a very tired looking Harry came down the stairs in his pajamas, his glasses askew on his face. He blinked at her, yawned, then must have caught sight of her face because his changed into one of concern. "Mione? What's wrong? What happened?"

He sat next to her on the couch, his eyes burning into hers. Hermione teared up again and handed him the letter, sobbing in silence while he read. Harry's eyes were wide with fear and concern for her when he finished. "Oh, Mione, I'm so sorry..."

"H-Harry, I... I want... I mean..." She couldn't say it. They were still under the bet. If she asked him to hold her, she would lose. Hermione hated to lose. Her pride wouldn't let her ask for the contact she so desperately needed so she turned away.

"Hermione..." He whispered, suddenly very close, his breath was hot on her neck. She tensed and didn't dare turn around. She knew if she did she'd lose control -- And the bet. She remained tense until she felt him move away slightly, trusting herself to turn around at last. "I'm sorry Hermione. But your father... He's a strong guy. He can pull through. And, listen, we'll get Professor Sprout to whip up some herbs that can help him recover." A pause. "If we get really desperate, we can ask Snape for a potion. Maybe he'll actually give it to us after he finishes laughing at the prospect of us asking him for help, then making us feed his pet lizard for nine years as payment."

Hermione laughed a little. "Professor Snape has a pet lizard?"

"Hey, lizards are reptiles -- Just like him." She laughed a little more.

"Why not a pet snake then?"

"That'd be too obvious. A slime ball like him doesn't want to world to know that he only has animals for friends." Harry was grinning by now, happy to have made her happy, at least for now. And Hermione was happy -- Happy to be in his presence, even if she couldn't touch him and vice versa.

Wait. She COULD touch him. The bet was that HE couldn't touch HER. Hermione smirked. "Harry?"

"Mhmm?"

"Don't touch me, okay?" Harry looked at her quizzically, but the look was wiped from her face as she crawled into his lap and snuggle dup against his chest. He moved to wrap his arms around her, but she stopped him with her own arm. "No, don't touch me. The bet didn't say anything about me touching you, right?"

The dark-haired boy laughed. "Wow, you aren't the smartest witch in school for nothing."

"Exactly. Now shut up and let me..." Whatever Hermione was going to say was cut off as she broke out crying, her worry for her Dad getting the best of her. Again and again, Harry tired to hold her, to comfort her in some way, but she pushed his arms away each time. Finally, Harry just sat back and let the girl cry into his chest, regretting ever making the stupid bet in the first place. He WANTED to hold Hermione. He loved the girl now sitting in his lap. Always had. Why ELSE had he been so affectionate with her?

And if the idea repulsed her as much as it had, why was she finding ways around the bet agreements? Did that mean that maybe she... Nah. Harry didn't even bother getting his hope sup. A girl as great as Hermione wouldn't see anything in him. He sighed, brushing her hair gently before his hand was slapped away by hers.

"Mione..."

"Don't touch me!" She choked out. Harry didn't, but, boy, did he want to.

*

By the time Hermione woke up the next morning, safe and snug lying on Harry who, true to his word, had not a hand upon her, she knew that she was going to lose the bet. She knew it because of one simple fact: She was in love with Harry Potter.

And how could she not have realized it before? The way she constantly worried about him, was always at his side. The way he always penetrated her thoughts, could melt her with a single smile. The way she craved his touch, craved it now even. It was like an addiction. She was high on Harry and in withdrawal. She wanted to have his hands tangle din her hair, brushing down her cheeks, roaming over her body. She wanted to have him kiss her and whisper how much he loved her so she could do the same in return.

By the time she slid out of the sleeping boy's lap, her mind was made up. Hermione was going to tell Harry how she felt about him before the week was through.

But how?

*

"You made that bet with Harry five days ago, Hermione." Ginny said after the frantic girl had explained her situation. "So you have two days left to decide what you're going to do. Maybe I should ask Draco--"

"Or maybe not." Hermione snapped. "I'd rather not deal with him right now when I'm about to reveal my inner most feelings for my best friend, who probably views me as his sister."

"Oh no, trust me. I'm Ron's sister and he isn't half-way as affectionate with me as Harry is with you. There is no brother-sister feeling there, Hermione. That's crushing and big time." Ginny reassured, pacing the room. "But, let's think about this carefully. What does Harry like?"

"Quidditch, Chocolate Frogs, pumpkin pie, Hogwarts, his parents, his friends, feeling safe, people not staring at him every five seconds, Professor Dumbledore--"

"I get the point, Harry Encyclopedia." Ginny teased. "How can we compound that into the interlude to a love confession?"

Hermione, her cheeks aflame whispered, "I have an idea."

And, with the help of Ginny and Draco, she put it into action.

5. Putting The Plan Into Action

Title: Affectionless

Author: LilPrincess48

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, the first thing I would do…. Is pinch myself because I MUST be dreaming.

Author's Note: I am soooo sorry! This was written like a long time ago and I forgot to post it and then the summer and my mother and school’s coming up with their stupid summer homework… You know what, I’m not here to make excuses. Just know that A) I’m sorry, B) I’ll try to update as regularly as possible and, C) I’m working on the next chapters to Hermione’s Stalker, A Deep, Soul Connection…. Etc.

…

Sorry! :3

Date Begun: June 30, 2004

Date Posted: August 24, 2004 (Sorry!)

Chapter 5: Putting the Plan into Action

Harry had a sneaking feeling that something weird was going on.

It might have had something to do with the fact that people were giggling and whispering whenever he walked by – More than usual.

Or the fact that Professor Dumbledore had just declared the set-up of a new secret-admirer service for those who wanted to convey their feelings anonymously.

Or the newest article in Inside Hogwarts:

BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER

Yes, folks, the rumors are true. Harry Potter and Hermione Granger are BACK TOGETHER. And not only that, rumors have it that Miss Granger has a very ‘special’ surprise for her beau. Harry just might be ‘getting lucky’ sometime soon…

A direct quote from Miss Granger herself states: “Parvati, you pervert! If that’s all you’re thinking about, then I’m not telling you anything!” There was a lengthy pause during which your favorite gossiper had to apologize profusely to Miss Granger for revealing her plans ahead of time. “Fine. If you must know, and this has nothing to do with Harry for Merlin’s sake, Parvati!” Another pause and more apologies. “Ginny and I are helping Dumbledore with the secret-admirer service, alright? Now go away!”

Has Miss Granger set up this service specifically to apologize to Mr. Potter for whatever it is she did? Likely! Tune in next time for more details.

-- Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown

Writers and Editors of Inside Hogwarts

Oh, yes, if that wasn’t a clue, he didn’t know what was.

“Ron, are you getting the feeling that Mione’s up to something?” The redhead swallowed his mouthful of eggs and gave Harry a blank look.

“What? Hermione’s getting off on something?”

“NO, YOU GIT!” Harry shouted, his face bright red. “Hermione’s plotting something. Geez, Ron.”

Ron laughed. “Oh don’t be so touchy, Harry. I was just joking. Now what’s Hermione up to?”

“I don’t know, but don’t you think this secret admirer service thing is a little too… I don’t know. And besides, tomorrow’s the last day of the bet and—“

“And I think you think too much, mate. Now can I eat my bloody breakfast, or do you want to contemplate the universe, too?” Harry glared.

“Oh, please, don’t mind me. I’m not your best friend in dire need of advice.” Ron shrugged and went back to his food, leaving a very put off Harry to glare down at his breakfast. A breakfast which, he noticed, was missing the presence of a very bushy haired Gryffindor.

*

“I don’t know about this, Ginny.” Hermione said as the youngest Weasley began working on her hair. “What if Harry doesn’t like it? What if he figures everything out? What if—“

“What if you shut up and let me do what you spent hours convincing me to do in the first place? Look, he won’t figure it out. He’ll know something’s up from the article you got Lav and Parvati to write, but he’ll be skeptical because of all the mentions of ‘getting lucky’—“

“That was going too far, by the way.” Hermione commented.

“—And if he does get suspicious, Ron is there to sway him from thinking too much about it. And if Ron doesn’t help much, Draco will step in to distract him with an argument. Everybody, except Harry, knows that the secret-admirer service is for you and him alone and Dumbledore is even letting you do this. We’ve got the entire school in on this, Hermione! Stop worrying so much!”

Hermione sighed, brushing her fingers through her now-straight hair. “Fine. I just don’t want this to go badly. I mean, I—“

“I know Hermione. Shut up already, would you. I’m about to do your make-up.”

*

Harry blinked as he was suddenly ambushed by a crowd of house elves dressed like cupid. Ron had conveniently disappeared before they’d come so it was Harry alone around, surrounded on all sides by eight house elves.

Make that eight singing house elves.

“Mr. Potter, don’t be shy, send a card to your girl or guy. Write them a letter, make them feel better, tell them you love them, forever and ever. Mr. Potter, step right up, tell them you admire, their C-cup.” Harry flushed. Was everything about sex nowadays?! “Send a letter or a card, Mr. Potter, please!”

They finished on a high note that made Harry’s ears ring. “Er…”

One of the house elves fished out a piece of parchment. “Dear Er,”

“No! Who’s Er? I don’t… Wait-a-minute!” He shouted at the house elf who was writing every single word out of his mouth on the paper. “I don’t like anybody!”

“Yes you do, Harry Potter. Dobby knows you do.” Harry blinked as he realized that Dobby was, indeed, among the crazy house elves. Dobby grinned. “Dobby knows that Harry Potter is in love with a girl with blue eyes!”

“HA!” Harry said, pointing at Dobby triumphantly. “She’s got BROWN eyes!”

Dobby grinned toothily. “Harry Potter just proved Dobby’s point.”

“Grr… Stupid house elves and their stupid mind games.” Harry muttered. “Fine. Send a bloody letter to Hermione.”

The house elf who had been writing pulled out a new piece of parchment. “Dear Hermione,” And looked at him expectantly.

“Dear Hermione…”