Hermione's Secret

L.C. McCabe

Rating: PG
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 18/07/2004
Last Updated: 18/07/2004
Status: completed

Hermione Granger has been keeping a secret from Ron Weasley and Harry Potter. When Harry realizes this, he becomes determined to find out what it is. For he is afraid this secret could jeopardize all their lives. One-shot with an angsty love triangle. Complete

Chapters

1. Hermione s Secret

1. Hermione s Secret

Standard disclaimer: This story is based on characters created and owned by J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury, Scholastic and Warner Brothers. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended. This is merely for entertainment purposes.

Author’s notes: I wanted to thank both Marie Granger and Dome36 for their feedback on this story.

This story was actually inspired by debating with Patil (Lavender Brown) on Fiction Alley Park’s H/Hr vs. R/Hr Debate Thread. She repeatedly insists that since Harry has shown no attraction to Hermione so far in canon that he never will. This one-shot shows how that little pesky obstacle could be removed quite easily, and with dramatic bang, of course. Enjoy.

Hermione’s Secret

Harry Potter saw Hermione Granger enter the Gryffindor common room looking a little shaken. He had been waiting for her and stopped pacing the moment he saw her come through the portrait hole.

“We need to talk,” he said firmly as he led her outside the entrance she had just gone through.

“Harry, I –”

He silenced her with a look and ushered her down a few flights of stairs, down a darkened hallway and came to a wall covered with a large tapestry. He muttered a few words and the tapestry moved revealing a secret chamber.

“In here,” he said as he walked into a small space that was barely large enough to accommodate the two of them.

“What is this place?” she asked as the wall closed behind them.

“It’s just a secret compartment,” Harry said as he magically lit a torch on the wall. “I saw it as I was studying the Marauder’s Map one night,” he said dismissively. “I wanted to talk with you in private without worrying about anyone interrupting or overhearing us.”

She swallowed hard and nodded.

“Ron told me what happened. He said that he asked you to go steady with him, but that you turned him down. Is that right?” Harry asked.

She nodded again.

“He then became belligerent and said that you were in love with someone else, but that you wouldn’t tell him who that was. Now he’s snuck off to Hogsmeade so he can try and find some whiskey to drown his sorrows in.”

Hermione bit her lip and avoided Harry’s eyes.

“So is it Viktor?” he asked.

“No.”

“Who is it?”

“Why do you care, Harry? You’ve never been interested in my love life before.”

“I care because you and Ron are my two best friends. Everyone knows that. Voldemort and all his Death Eaters know that. Both you and Ron are targets because of your relationship to me. They would love to get their hands on either one of you, just to get to me. And now Ron went and did something reckless like go out of bounds and all I can hope is that Hedwig alerts Fred and George in time so that they reach him before any Death Eaters do.” Harry softened his tone a bit, “I care because if you are in love with someone besides Ron, then that person could be a source of vulnerability for us. I need to know for security’s sake.”

“You don’t have to worry, Harry. There won’t be any increased security risks due to me.”

“Are you seeing him? This guy you’re in love with?”

“He doesn’t know how I feel, if that’s what you mean. So no, I’m not going steady with him. That’s why you don’t have to worry, because I have never told anyone how I feel.”

“Why haven’t you told him?” said Harry puzzled.

“Because I - I don’t think…I mean that I know that he doesn’t feel the same way about me,” she said softly.

“How can you be so sure?”

She shrugged, “I can tell.”

“But you still love him?”

“Yeah.”

“This mystery guy doesn’t know how you feel about him, and you’re sure he’s not interested in you, but you still wouldn’t want to try and see if things might work out with Ron? Because I tell you, Ron thinks he’s in love with you.”

She bit her lip again and turned away from him as she ran her fingers nervously up and down the brick wall. “My heart is already taken by someone else. It wouldn’t be fair to Ron if I were to date him. I wouldn’t be able to give him the love that he deserves. I would be hurting him in the long run to try and pretend that I cared only for him. So instead, I was honest with him and hurt him tonight instead of hurting him later on down the line.”

“I see. Does this guy go to school here?”

“Yes.”

“Do I know him?”

“Yes.”

Hermione turned back around and tears were running softly down her face. Harry began to feel angry. Someone had won his Hermione’s heart, and she was unable to bring herself to share her feelings with him. Harry began to feel bile rising up in the back of his throat; he was getting angry with whoever it was that didn’t appreciate Hermione and everything that she had to offer.

“I still need to know who it is,” Harry said trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

“Why?”

“Because they might be targeted by Death Eaters. If someone were to suspect how you really felt, they might try to recruit him to their side. That way they could get to me through you.”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” she said pushing on the wall. “I have to go.”

“Not yet,”

“Alohomora!” She said tapping her wand on the brick wall.

When nothing happened, she began tapping her wand repeatedly on different bricks, to no avail.

“Please, Harry, just let me go,” she pleaded. “I swear that you don’t have to worry about this, because no one will ever know. I’ve never even written my feelings down in a journal. No one knows. No one knows my heart.”

Harry looked at her and realized that there were so many things he didn’t know about her. He had never considered that she had harbored such a secret from him and Ron. He also felt jealous that she had given her heart to someone else. He couldn’t believe that she felt a greater loyalty to this secret love than to her two best friends, so much so that she would keep that knowledge from himself and Ron. Harry began to feel very resentful to some unknown phantom. His mind went through the roster of guys in his school, but couldn’t think of anyone deserving of Hermione. His hands began to clench in anger.

Hermione became increasingly agitated and began hyperventilating. “Please, Harry, let me go!”

“No,” Harry said calmly as he put his hands on her shoulders, “I need to know who he is. I need to know who has caused you this much pain. I swear, right now, I care more about wanting to see you happy than I do about my security. I want to know if the guy you care about is worthy of your love. If he is, I swear that I will try and help you get together with him. Any wizard would be lucky to have your love. You are intelligent, fiercely loyal, brave, caring and…” he lifted her chin and looked her squarely in the eyes, “beautiful.”

“Do you really feel that way?” she asked trembling.

“Yes, tell me his name.”

“Harry.”

“Tell me who he is,” he insisted.

“You. I’m in love with you.”

He stared at her. “Me? You’re in love with me?”

She closed her eyes in anguish, “I’m sorry. I knew you didn’t feel that way towards me. I never meant for you to find out.”

Harry’s mind jammed with the reality of what she had said. He was the one who had caused her so much pain. He was the one who had caused her to suffer so much doubt about her own self-worth. She hadn’t chosen anyone else over him, she had chosen him. And she had resigned herself to thinking that he would never return her love, that somehow or another she wasn’t worthy of his love. He looked at the pained expression on Hermione’s face and a warm feeling washed over him as he realized that he was truly loved by someone.

Harry leaned down and surprised her by kissing her fully on the mouth. No words could properly convey his feelings towards her, so instead he chose actions. His arms encircled her back and crushed her against his chest. His kiss was firm and demanding as she melted in his arms and began to eagerly return his kiss.

As he broke their kiss, he smiled at her, “Why didn’t you let me know how you felt?”

“Because I didn’t think that you thought of me in that way,” she said.

“I hadn’t, because I thought you liked Ron,” he insisted, “but if you had given me any hints…”

“Hints? Besides being by your side every step of the way and defending you against anyone who spoke ill of you?”

“You know what I mean,” he said as he brushed the tears off her cheeks. “I just thought that you and Ron had this love-hate thing going on. I thought it was only a matter of time before you two got together. So in my mind you were off-limits for me to even think of as a romantic possibility.”

She shook her head and looked quizzically at him, “You thought that I enjoyed fighting with Ron?”

“In a way, yeah,” he nodded.

“Not at all,” she said. “Most of the time we argue over you, and what is best for you. I mean, we did argue a lot in our third year over Scabbers and Crookshanks, but besides that year, most of our fighting has been about you. And it hasn’t been fun.”

“What about in fourth year when you practically dared him to ask you to a future dance?”

“Harry, I was having a nice time at the Yule Ball. That night was the first time I felt like a real girl. Viktor was really nice to me and helped me to feel pretty and desirable, even though I wasn’t attracted to him. Then Ron had to start insulting me and telling me that the only reason Viktor was interested in taking me to the dance was to get information on you. I was really hurt by that. As if no one in their right mind would be interested in having me as a date. I was so mad at him, especially since he had talked about having to go to the dance with a troll. A troll, Harry. I was almost killed by a troll, and here he was comparing me and every other girl at Hogwarts with those smelly, foul creatures. He hadn’t even considered going with me until he was desperate. I was so furious with him that night.”

“So you never felt anything for Ron?”

“Nothing more than friendship, and occasional fury.”

Harry tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, “Okay, I believe you. Tell me something, how long have you been in love with me?” he wondered.

She gave him a sheepish grin, “Umm, a really long time.”

“Since when?” he asked.

“Erm, well, from the night you jumped on the back of that mountain troll.”

His jaw dropped, “You’re kidding. That long?”

“I know, it seems rather silly, but I was so overwhelmed that night by what you did. I mean, I had been pestering you and Ron because I was like everyone else and impressed by your celebrity and all. I had read all about you and I was kind of enamored at first by meeting someone who was so powerful magically at such a young age, and when you started breaking rules, I became really disappointed in you. Then you and Ron saved my life that night. I had never seen anyone do anything as brave and well – I was smitten. I knew you didn’t feel the same, but I couldn’t help my own feelings. I was so glad to become friends with you, and I never wanted to risk losing your friendship if you became uncomfortable with me. That’s why I never wanted you to know how I really felt about you.”

“Hermione, I had no idea. I wish that I could go back in time and erase some of the pain I’ve caused you. But I went through three hours of changing time once with you, I don’t know if I’d want to risk doing that again” he chuckled. “Instead, why don’t I try and concentrate on making you happy in the future.”

“That sounds good to me,” she said smiling, then her face turned serious. “Except that until you defeat Voldemort, I think we should keep our love a secret. I don’t want him or his forces to know about us.”

“That seems wise,” he agreed. “I also think that Ron will have an awfully hard time with this news. At least at first. He’s always been a bit jealous towards me, my fame and my inheritance. Now he’ll resent that I’ve won your heart, when he’s been wanting it for years.”

She nodded at that. “Yeah, I feel sorry for him, but that’s not a good reason to try and be with someone.”

“Exactly.”

Hermione looked at her watch, “Harry! We’re out half an hour past curfew.”

“Relax, I’ve got my Invisibility Cloak and the Marauder’s Map in my bag. I’ll get the Head Girl home safely to Gryffindor Tower, but I’d like to snog you a bit longer first if you don’t mind. And well, if we have to keep our new relationship a secret, I will need practice to find secret spots for this kind of thing.”

“Okay, but let’s not stay out too late,” she relented. “And next time, can you find a place that’s a bit more comfortable? Maybe have a couch in it?”

“I’ll see what I can come up with,” he promised as he leaned down to kiss her again.

~Fin.~