Get You Through

dupton

Rating: PG
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 04/08/2004
Last Updated: 04/08/2004
Status: completed

On the night when Harry sets out to defeat Voldemort, his final goodbye gives him everything he could need. [One-Shot]

Chapters

1. One

1. One

Disclaimer: I’m not even going to try and lie to you. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and the rest of that wonderful myriad of characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling, and I am simply borrowing them for the purposes of entertainment. So please, don’t sue. I don’t have any money.

Spoilers: Books 1- 5

Pairings: H/Hr, with the tiniest amount of R/LL (which is so small it’s unimportant. I don’t know why I’m even mentioning it at all, actually…)

Summary: On the night when Harry sets out to defeat Voldemort, his final goodbye gives him everything he could need. H/Hr. [One-Shot]

A/N: My first venture into the world of writing Harry Potter fanfic, but, since I’ve been writing in other fandoms for over a year, I’m used to the system. This might be a done plot; I don’t know. But I thought I’d try it out regardless. It’s good to be on Portkey, and I hope you enjoy this. Reviews are encouraged, and flames, while unliked, are fine with me. I need the criticism.

Get You Through

The moonlight sparkled gently on the water, as gusts of wind rippled through the trees opposite. Harry Potter gazed down at the moon’s reflection, watching it waver slightly as the water flooded beneath his shoes, his already wet robes becoming even more soaked. The moon was full; he momentarily registered the fact that Remus must currently be curled up in his bed at Grimmauld Place. Then an almost silent swish of robes could be heard from behind him; and he turned quickly to see his best friend, Hermione Granger, walking slowly toward him, her expression grim, and her lips drawn in a tight line.

“Hi,” he whispered hoarsely, far more quietly than he had meant to.

She tried to smile, he saw; but it flickered for just a moment before fading again. “Hi,” she replied, her voice shaking. “Ron told me… told me I was next,” she added.

“You’re last,” he informed her quietly, pulling his robes up as he walked out of the water toward her.

“I am?” she squeaked, sounding surprised.

He nodded, giving no further answer, and stopped just centimetres before her.

She opened her mouth, with hung open for a moment, then realized she didn’t know what to say and closed it again.

He couldn’t help but smile; Hermione looked utterly adorable in the rare moments when she was confused. He reached out a hand, brushing against her robes; and quickly, they enveloped each other in a tight hug, their arms around each other’s necks.

Harry’s eyes were closed, and he felt warm tears drip from his eyes onto his hands, which were grasping Hermione’s shoulders as though he were holding on for dear life. Hermione looked out as she held on just as tight, watching birds flutter from the trees which distant squawks, and a solitary Thestral, it’s skeletal wings propelling it across the turrets of Hogwarts castle, where the candles of the Great Hall glowed from the windows. Even from here, you could hear the din inside; it was dinnertime. Harry had considered this to be the best time to slip off, hopefully unnoticed by the majority of the pupils.

As the Thestral turned and flew back toward the forest, it passed close to the deserted hut on the edge of the great clump of trees. Hermione shivered, and finally, she and Harry relaxed their hold on each other.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, eyes still shining with tears. Hermione wasn’t surprised to realize that her eyesight was now blurred with tears too.

She let out a snort. “Harry James Potter… in the best of circumstances, I’d appreciate that question; but tonight… what do you think?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

He flushed slightly, and looked down at the ground. “I saw it too,” he murmured.

She sighed. “I never thought I’d see one, Harry. I never thought I’d be able to,” she said, wiping her eyes as more tears formed, each jostling on her bottom eyelashes to spill onto her cheeks.

He reached out and grasped her hand, rubbing it gently. “I never wanted you to, either,” he whispered. “I never wanted you to have to see what you did. It was all my-”

“No, Harry,” she interrupted firmly. “Don’t blame yourself. I was there, I insisted I should come; I had to be there. It’s my fault I saw him die.”

He looked at her, his eyes seemingly looking right through her, his piercing green eyes making her feel so vulnerable, yet so protected all at the same time. “Hermione, I led us all there that night. All I can say is that I’m glad the others weren’t there too. And I never, never wanted you to see Hagrid die like that. I’ve led you into too much danger, Hermione.”

Hermione resisted the urge to smack his cheek to put sense into him, and squeezed his hand, hoping the pain of her grip did something to his mind. “Harry, listen. I’ve been friends with you for seven years. I knew, right at the moment when we entered that room with the line of potion bottles, that you were no ordinary friend. I knew that there would be times when I’d be in danger. And I accepted that. I accepted that a long time ago, Harry. Was it scary, seeing Hagrid die? Yes. But I knew that it might happen, even if I didn’t realize it.

“I knew there were risks. I remember you trying to get us all to stay behind; we came, Harry, because we wanted to. It’s not your fault that we came. And it’s not your fault that Sirius died, or that Hagrid died, or that anyone died. You know whose fault that is. And Harry, you’d better sort him out.”

Harry stared at her, trying to take in the long speech she’d just given him; and finally, nodded mutely.

“I will.”

She smiled despite herself, and they lowered themselves down to sit on the grass, which gleamed in the moonlight high above, shimmering a soft silver. Hermione gazed at it silently for a moment, before looking back to Harry. She saw tears running down his cheeks again, and wiped them away softly with a finger.

“Oh, Harry,” she whispered sadly. “You know I love you, don’t you?” she asked, cocking her head slightly.

He nodded slowly, his face still drawn. “I’m scared, Hermione,” he breathed, looking silently into her eyes.

“I think you’d be a bit cold-hearted if you weren’t,” she told him, her finger still on his cheek. “But Harry?” He looked at her. “I think you’ll be okay.”

He tried to smile, but his mouth failed him, as more salty tears dripped onto his lip. “But if I’m not…” he began, breaking off.

She sighed heavily, letting the tears fall freely. “Just remember, Harry… there are people who love you. And you know that the one thing Voldemort doesn’t understand… it’s love,” she whispered, not noticing how close she had moved to him.

He hadn’t noticed either. He looked at her, his eyes full of tears, and felt his heart almost breaking in two as he thought of the fact that he might never see her, or anyone, ever again.

“I know,” he answered back in a whisper. “But… Hermione?” he said, and she looked at him with a question in her eyes. “I love you too.”

She smiled, and pulled him up by his hand, glancing at her grass stained robes with uncharacteristic indifference.

“I guess you’ve… gotta go now, huh?” she asked quietly, as he walked with her back toward the castle. The lights from the Entrance Hall brightened as they neared it, and she heard the shouts of several Gryffindors- all blissfully unaware that their fellow housemate, Harry Potter, would be gone within five minutes.

He looked up into the Entrance Hall, light bouncing off the magnificent marble staircase, and the heads off students seated at the very edge of Great Hall evident. He sighed, and turned back to her, his hand still entwined with hers.

“Yeah,” he said sadly. “’Mione… I’ll never forget you,” he said softly.

She was unable to stop the tears from flowing. “You won’t have to,” she smiled. As she stared at him, her eyes burned with some secret desire Harry had never seen in her eyes before, not even when she had worked furiously on a piece of hard Potions work.

“What?” he asked, unable to stop himself. She looked away, blushing slightly. “’Mione, what is it?” he asked, his hand pulling her back as it rested on her cheek.

She stared at him. “I… nothing,” she said, averting her gaze again. “You go, Harry.”

Harry felt her hand slip away as she stepped onto the first step of the giant castle, but caught it as it swung back slightly, and pulled her back; a little closer than he meant, but he didn’t notice.

“No, Hermione. What is it?”

She blushed again, getting redder. “Harry, go. You don’t need my silly little wants right now,” she mumbled, trying to get away again.

He tightened his grip. “Hermione, I love you. More than you’ll ever know. And Voldemort can wait. What is it?” he insisted, his eyes showing brilliant defiance.

Hermione looked to be having some kind of inner struggle. She finally looked up, and his words rang in her ears. ‘Hermione, I love you. More than you’ll ever know.’ She put her hand on his cheek, caressing it softly. “I know you won’t let me come, Harry. But I’ll be there,” she whispered, her eyes closing.

For a moment, Harry thought she’d fallen asleep, hit by a stray curse; but instead, her head moved slightly forward, and he saw her lick her lips. His heart felt like it had stopped as her lips fell onto his.

At first, it was a clumsy kiss, almost juvenile- the kind you get when pre-teenagers play ‘spin the bottle’; but as Harry’s brain registered what was happening and tried to figure out why and what he wanted, he felt himself kissing back. Not with blind passion, but sweetly, softly, lovingly. As his tongue started to reach out and touch hers, they both moved back quickly, the secondary touch making them both come to their senses at the same time. Harry’s eyes were wide; the defiance had been replaced by silent disbelief as he stared at Hermione, who was looking, her eyes shining with tears, back.

A loud yell from the Great Hall made them both look around, and Harry remembered what he was supposed to be doing.

“Well…” he said.

She looked down at the ground. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I guess you didn’t really need that on your mind right now, did you?”

He smiled. “Actually… I think it might kinda help,” he said.

She smiled as best she could, and touched a tear on her cheek. Her finger moved to his lips, and she placed her tear silently on his lips.

He smiled gently again; and with a swish of his robes, he vanished.

“Goodbye, Harry,” Hermione whispered, and turned, with a silent glance at the Thestral seated beside the dark cabin, back into the castle and up the marble staircase.

*~*~*

Harry’s scar was burning with pain he didn’t think any man could ever stand; but he was upright, he was standing, with his wand pointed at the cloaked black figure before him. Scattered on the ground were bodies- not dead, but incapacitated- and Harry stared at Voldemort with the knowledge that they were the only two left in the dark room.

Voldemort snarled, but Harry’s shield held on again, deflecting the curse Voldemort had just uttered.

Images flashed through Harry’s mind of the people who loved him; Sirius, flying from the castle atop Buckbeak; Ginny, lying on the floor of the cold Chamber; Remus, handing him a piece of chocolate as he sat shivering on the train; Hagrid, standing before Voldemort with his hands flung out before Harry and Hermione; Ron, commanding him and Hermione across the giant chess board; Hermione, whipping the time turner over his neck with the coolness he had come to know so well; and his parents, smiling and waving at him from the picture of the old Order that he still remembered clearly.

As his mouth moved, uttering words he couldn’t even hear, the room around him exploded; and as he was flung across the floor, his last thought was of Hermione, with her lips on his, and he felt like his heart was about explode.

And everything went black.

*~*~*

Hermione felt her heart beating wildly in her chest. Everything was dark around, although stars twinkled high above. The clouds hid the moon, and only the light shining from the end of several wand lights let them search.

She lifted another piece of the wall, sighing as she found nothing, and glanced up, seeing the same saddened expressions on Ron and Remus’ faces. She swallowed, looking away so they wouldn’t see her tears. She lifted another piece of the brick, still finding nothing.

She was scared. No, scratch that; she was petrified. She knew that, in her heart, she had never really believed that Harry could be gone… yet here she was, with everyone else who loved Harry, searching desperately for him. What if they didn’t find him? What if they found his body? Her mind froze. She couldn’t be the one who saw that. Her heart was already breaking- with every waking minute he could be dying.

A whisper from the other side of the pile of ruins caught her attention. She craned her neck, hearing Ron and Ginny’s voices conversing quietly.

“What is it?” she heard Ginny whisper.

Ron frowned slightly, and Hermione could see him shaking. “I think it’s… Harry’s shoe,” he replied, glancing up at Hermione, and his face paled as he saw her looking.

She ran over, catching the attentions of the rest of the searchers, and looked down. “Oh my god,” she whispered. Harry’s black trainer, covered with dust, lay on the darkened grass. “He’s around here, isn’t he?” she said. “Harry?” she called. “Harry?” Her voice was increasing in urgency.

Her ear heard a faint groan. Her head snapped up and looked at Ron, who gazed at her. He nodded.

“Harry?” he called, as Hermione moved closer to where she’d heard the noise.

“Harry?” she called, shaking. Please, Harry, please answer, please don’t be dead…

She heard it again, closer. One look at Ron told her he’d heard it too. The moved closer together, silence flooding over the scene. The others were watching, still, as the two people closest to Harry Potter moved toward him.

“’Mione?” came a louder groan.

Hermione stiffened, and Ron frowned, clearly a little hurt that Harry had spoken this as his first word. The voice was right next to them- Ron lifted back a section of wall with his wand, revealing only grass; Hermione followed suit- and almost fainted as Harry’s face came into view.

His glasses were askew on his face, their bridge broken; his hair was covered in dust. His robes were torn, revealing cuts on his body. But as he saw them, squinting slightly, he smiled.

Hermione and Ron both broke out in giant smiles of relief, and knelt down together, looking down at Harry. Hermione fought the urge to kiss his dusty lips and smiled, with just a shadow of their secret on her lips.

*~*~*

“I can’t believe I have to stay in here for another week.”

Hermione rolled her eyes as Harry moaned, reaching for a Chocolate Frog from the table beside him in the hospital wing.

“Harry, you just defeated the most powerful dark wizard ever… I think you need a bit of time to recover from that,” she admonished.

Harry grinned. “Nah, it was a piece of cake, really,” he said, ducking as Hermione batted at him with her arm.

It was three days since they had discovered him amongst the ruins of the Riddle House, and he was already back to laughing and joking. After a day where he sat in muted shock over what he had done, he had confided in Hermione and Ron that he felt elated to be free, finally, and wanted to be happy. Hermione could see, though, the frowns he wore when he thought they weren’t looking, and knew he was still troubled.

The sun broke in through the delicately paned windows of the room, shafts of bright light lying on the beds. The wing was deserted but for the three of them, and for this, Hermione was glad. She secretly wished she and Harry could be alone and talk without Ron, just for a while, but this thought made her guilty and she shoved it aside, tightening her hold on her two boys hands.

“What time is it?” asked Ron suddenly, and Hermione glanced at her watch.

“Quarter past five- why?” she asked, as Ron’s eyes widened.

Ron gulped and stood up. “I told Luna I’d meet her at five- oh, Harry, I hope it’s okay, but we haven’t seen each other for days, and-”

Harry waved his arm. “Ron, it’s fine! Go, go on. Wouldn’t want you neglecting your first love, now would we?” he winked, and Ron grinned, sprinting to the door, stopping only to give a wave.

Hermione’s heart almost skipped a beat, and she moved her chair slightly nearer. “So…” she said, trailing off. Harry’s green eyes stared at her, and he smiled.

“So,” he echoed. She laughed at his cheeky smile, and rubbed his hand. “You know… I was right,” he said.

She frowned slightly. “Right?”

“About what you did before I left,” he continued. “It did help.”

Hermione’s breathing quickened, and she smiled wider. “Really?”

He nodded. “It was love,” he whispered. “Love of everyone- that’s what destroyed him. That’s how I did it, Hermione. And thank you, for telling me that. You saved me, you know.”

Hermione was blushing now, and fingered at his bedspread with the hand that wasn’t holding Harry’s. “Harry… I might have said that, but it was you who did it, not me. You’re the powerful one, you’re the-”

“Maybe,” he interrupted, and she looked up. “But even the most powerful person needs people by his side,” he smiled.

Hermione felt her face inching forward and she knew her resolve was lost; their lips met in a soft kiss, which was sweeter than the first, and it seemed more… real, to Harry. He put his hand around the back of her head and ran in through her bushy hair, the wish to never let go again flooding through him.

This time, when his tongue met with hers, they didn’t shy away; and she moved it around, her lips firmly placed on his. One hand still lay entwined with his on the mattress, but the other now lay on his cheek, caressing it softly.

Only when Harry felt he could go no longer without breathing did his hand slip from her hair and his mouth move away. Hermione just stared at him.

“I, er…” she said, mouth slightly open.

Harry laughed. “So… you wanna tell me why you kissed me?” he said, smirking.

Hermione batted at him, but he just smiled wider, and she came to sit next to him on the bedspread, silently resting her head against his shoulder.

“I… don’t know, really,” she began, closing her eyes. “Well, remember last year, when Ron told me how he… you know, felt? And I turned him down? I kinda started to wonder after that what it’d be like to like a friend… but I guess with what happened last year, all that got pushed to one side.” Harry said nothing, and his breathing was almost silent, so she ploughed on.

“But when Ron started to date Luna, I thought about it again, and well, the only person who I ever thought I might like that was… well, you,” she said, and heard a sharp intake of breath.

“Me?” he echoed. “Wh-”

Hermione laughed. “Look, Harry, I know you don’t think you’re much, but trust, most of the girls in this school would do virtually anything to get their hands on you, you know,” she said, giggling again at his amazed face.

“You are kidding?” he said, sounding slightly awed.

Hermione shook her head. “Why?” she asked. “Thinking of asking out that Ravenclaw third year who stalks you?” she teased, playing with his shirt absently.

He smirked. “Maybe,” he joked.

She hit him again. “Do you want me to carry on or not?”

His smile dropped slightly, and he said seriously, “I apologise. Continue.”

She glared momentarily at his over-serious air, but continued anyway. “Well, when you said you wanted to see us all separately, I started to wonder what you wanted to say to us all… and when I saw you outside, I realized… well, I realized that if I didn’t see what I’d be like to kiss you then, I might… I might not get another chance,” she said, her voice cracking slightly, and tears brimming at her eyes.

Harry heard her tears, and wiped her eyes softly with a finger, and she turned to look at him.

“I know it was selfish to be thinking of me at a time like that-”

He cut her off with a firm kiss. “Rubbish,” he said, as her eyes widened again. “You gave me more help than I deserved over these seven years… I’m sure you’re allowed one selfish moment, ‘Mione,” he said, smiling at her frown.

“Why do you call me ‘Mione?” she asked.

“Shorter than Hermione,” he told her quickly, kissing her again. “Is there a problem?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Hermione considered, then pulled him to her lips with a strong hand. “Not at all, Mr. Potter,” she replied, and gave him a deep kiss that he was sure lasted for at least five minutes.

She smirked as he stared at her in disbelief. “What’s the matter, Potter? Shocked that there’s a wild girl inside this studious woman?” she teased.

Harry grinned. “Oh, I knew that already,” he replied. She smiled, but as his smile faded and he looked away, her expression changed to a frown.

“What’s wrong, Harry?” she asked, her right hand lying on his shoulder as her left rubbed his hand again.

Harry shook his head. “I just… now that it’s over, I… I don’t know whether I should feel worse than I do.”

Hermione tried to understand this, but her brain didn’t seem to want to function complicated thoughts right now, and she just cocked her head questioningly. “What do you mean?”

Harry sighed. “People died, Hermione. Sirius died. Hagrid died. You almost died. I’ve put so many of the people I love in so much danger, and I don’t feel half as bad as I should for it. I’m just kissing you, feeling like my heart will explode because I’m so happy… and I shouldn’t be. I shouldn’t be happy.”

Hermione stared at him. Slowly, she put her hands on both his cheeks, and looked into his eyes. “Harry, you might have defeated the most powerful dark wizard ever, but you are an idiot sometimes,” she said calmly. “Harry, you freed our world. You defeated Voldemort. You let our world be at peace again. Hagrid and Sirius died trying to help you, and I’m sure they wouldn’t want you feeling guilty just because you’re happy now you’ve finished. You’re owed happiness, so don’t push it away.”

“But I-”

She put a finger on his lips. “No buts, Harry. This is your time to be happy. Whether that includes me- I don’t know. But let yourself be happy, Harry. You’re allowed to be happy. You think they died to stop you being happy? They died so you could be happy. And I would’ve done the same.”

She stepped off the bed as soon as she had finished, and looked at him. “I’ll go,” she whispered. “You need time to think,” she said, and started to walk away.

She had reached the door before he spoke. “Hermione?”

She turned back, looking at him calmly.

“Can you… can you stay? Just… lie next to me?” he asked. “Please?”

Hermione smiled, and walked back over. “Of course I can,” she whispered, kissing his lips shortly before settling herself down next to him again, resting her head against his chest. He slowly moved his arms around her, and she smiled to herself, kissed his knuckles, and closed her eyes.