I Need You

neni

Rating: PG
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 07/08/2004
Last Updated: 07/08/2004
Status: completed

One-shot Harry and Hermione tragic love story though it doesn't end the way you may think!;)My first fic i wrote a little over a year ago. I'm just testing the waters to see if you guys like my work! R/R thanks:)

Chapters

1. I Need You

1. I Need You

A/N: Okay well some might know me from ff.net or if any authors are reading this story (wishful thinking :P) you might want to know that I am Love's Fool =) I just had to change my name to this because I had an apostrophe in my other one … I'm going to have `neni' only as my author name, but when I'm leaving reviews I'll be Love's Fool … ok so this is a one-shot fic I wrote last year. I'm posting this one first instead of my other two stories which are about 7-9 chapters each, because I wanted to test the waters first… see how many reviews I'll get, if you guys like/hate my work, etc. Although I must admit that here in Portkey readers are more amicable and leave reviews!! Tell me what you think =) BTW! It's not beta-ed … I'm trying to found one right now!

DISCLAIMER: Not mine … never will be =(

As I find myself waking up on one of the beds in the school's Infirmary, bits and pieces of the recent events are coming back to me. I still can't believe that everything we've gone through had to end like this. In my mind and heart, I knew Harry could defeat Voldemort, but there was always something hidden very deep in my heart that feared that there would be something else that would cause Harry to lose this very important war. I never knew though that, that something else would be me. I never knew that something so pure and true could turn into hatred, fear and most of all loneliness. Don't shake your head at me; you know that this type of thing can very well happen to anyone. However, this cold reality decided to knock my door at the start of a wonderful beginning. I guess I should explain…

FLASHBACK

Hermione was walking down the corridor that led to the Astronomy Tower. She had a feeling that Harry would be there. It was “his place” when he wanted to relax before a big Quidditch match, or when he wanted to think through things. She picked up her pace as she realized that she could get into trouble if anyone found her walking around school in the middle of the night.

She came to the Astronomy Tower Door and noticed that it was slightly ajar. She took a peek inside and saw Harry standing on the balcony that was directly opposite the door. The moonlight and the ever-so-bright stars lighted the night. The silver rays of the moonlight surrounded his black figure. She silently moved closer to him and winced when she saw his body shaking. He was crying. She walked over to him and touched his shoulder. He immediately looked up and graciously went into her awaiting open arms.

They stood that way for what seemed to be an eternity but was only a few minutes. His head was in the hollow of her shoulder and she was caressing the back of his head, and ran her delicate fingers through his jet-black hair. When the sobbing subsided they broke apart. Harry sighed and leaned onto the wall of the balcony and looked over at her. Despite his current state he drank her site in, and admired the way she kept calm and how beautiful she looked. He shook his head slightly and got a puzzling look from her.

“It's a beautiful night, don't you think?” he asked quietly, his voice quivering just a bit. She merely nodded and continued to look at him. His red-rimmed eyes were puffy from all the crying and his cheek were tear-stained, which glistened by the moonlight. For the first time in her life, she took a really good look at the man before her. Her best friend for 7 years and it wasn't until now that she fully understood him. The revelation hit her like a ton of bricks. Call her a cliché, but she was well aware of the fact that right now she fell in love with her best friend.

Harry sighed with relief when he realized that she wouldn't ask why he was crying. He knew that she knew he would tell her when the time was right. It was one of those things in their relationship- `wait a minute! Did I just say that? I meant friendship! Didn't I…?' he battled with his brain, but when she made a movement with her hand to brush away a strand of loose hair, it clicked. He was in love with his best friend.

Of course both of them knew that they had feelings for the other, but it wasn't until now that they realized what they felt weren't just friendship feelings. No, it was deeper than that. Maybe someone could even call it `love'.

Hermione looked up at him and her almond shaped eyes, coloured with hazel met a shocking shade of emerald green. She could easily see that something else had replaced sadness when she first found him. She knew that the same thing was mirrored in her own pair of eyes. With no words they said what was long over due. They hadn't actually said what was expected to be said, but they knew it would come later, as they knew in their hearts what the other really meant to say and felt. With slow movements, Harry brought his hand under her chin and gently lifted her up. He was surprised to see that her eyes were beginning to form pools of tears. He was over come with emotion as he realized that she too pained when he was hurt and sad. He wiped the lonely tear that escaped from her right eye with his thumb as she leaned her head into the palm of his hand and closed her eyes at the feel of Harry caressing her face. He brought his hands around her waist and they looked at each other.

Hermione's heart leapt as she realized what they were about to do, and felt her body go numb at the thought of kissing Harry. She gave him an encouraging look reserved only for him and Harry felt a tug at his heart when he saw that she was okay with him kissing her. They slowly leaned in and Hermione could hardly breathe in anticipation, but managed to raise her to so that she could reduce the distance between their lips. When their lips touched, it was like someone had set off fireworks. Never before had they felt this way, and were sure that this is what love felt like. It was a soft kiss yet full of love, and they soon broke apart to catch their breath. Before they gave the other the chance to say something, they both captured the other's lips once again. This time, their kiss was more passionate. She snaked her arms behind Harry's neck as he pulled her closer to him. He ran his tongue across her bottom lip and felt her quiver. She granted him entrance and soon they were battling with their tongues. Their hearts were racing and they knew that this would be a beginning of something incredible.

END OF FLASHBACK

It was incredible. The next two weeks were amazing for Harry and myself. After three days since that Astronomy Tower incident we kept it to ourselves, so we could enjoy our newfound relationship. When we told everyone, they were so happy for us and wanted to celebrate. The same night we told them, we had a party at the Gryffindor common room that lasted until the early hours, which wouldn't end if we didn't show them some TLC. So of course we granted their wish, but as soon as we got our tongues dancing, the common room door opened to reveal a very angry Professor McGonagall…

FLASHBACK

“What is going-” was where she got up to as she came face to face with Harry and Hermione kissing like crazy. She went a shade of red but kept her stern look, which now help a tint of happiness. “Alright everyone off to bed and you two better set a good example to the younger ones. Oh yes, congratulations however,” she said, and with one last smile, she left the common room. They had looks on their faces that could only be described as being like deer being caught in headlights. Harry gave her one last peck on the lips and left for his dormitory and so did she, but not before she heard a soft whisper, which sounded awfully like,

“I love you,” she stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to see Harry standing by the door with a look of relief once he saw her huge, toothy grin. He came and picked her up with his hands round her waist, completing a full circle before setting her down again. He kissed her once more with all the love that he had in him for her, and moaned a sigh of contentment when he realized that she was doing the same. That night they both went to sleep feeling more love than they ever thought was possible…

END OF FLASHBACK

Yes, for a while everything was perfect. Until news came about Voldemort preparing an attack. No one knew when it was going to happen; only that Harry was the intended victim. He knew it was bound to happen, he was just worried about the outcome of the war. He knew it was either kill or be killed. So the night before Voldemort would attack him, he didn't know that however, Harry decided that he would tell me everything…

FLASHBACK

“Hermione, we have to talk,” Harry said with a nervousness that made Hermione be worried.

“Harry…” she started, “You're…you're…you're not breaking up with me are you?” she asked fearfully as tears started pooling in her eyes.

“What? No of course not! I love you Hermione!” he told her with a chuckle, cupping her face with his two hands and kissing her softly on the forehead, and then on the lips. He felt her relax and breathe out a sigh of relief. “No, that's not it love. It's just; remember when you found me at the Astronomy Tower?”

“Yes. You were crying but I didn't ask you because I knew that when you were ready you would tell me,” she replied.

“Thank you for understanding Hermione and yes I'm ready now to tell you everything,” he said with a strange glint in his eye. “That night I went to see Dumbledore and he told me- things… He said that Voldemort would try to weaken me with every possible way. Which means he might even try to,” he paused. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger trying to figure out how to tell her this. “He said that he would even go as far as to hurt the people I love in order to get to me. People I care deeply about,” he said but avoided eye contact.

“Oh Harry! Is that why you were crying? You didn't want the people you love not to get hurt? Oh you are so unselfish, even in this time you think of others instead of yourself. It's okay you know, to think about yourself every once in a while. I've said this before and I'll say it again, you're a great wizard Harry. You'll find a way to get past this,” Hermione informed Harry with a smile.

“'Mione if it was only that simple. I don't care about other people! I was thinking of you! I'd die if anything happened to you, I didn't want you to get hurt. I was so confused and lost. I went to the only place I knew I'd find some peace of mind. And I did…you came along and took every fear I had away… but now I just don't know. I'm even more worried that Voldemort knows about us and he'll want to hurt you so he could get to me. I'd-” he was silenced with her finger on his lips.

“Don't. I'm not going anywhere. I've been with you since the beginning and I'm surely going to stand with you now when you need me most. I'm not going anywhere Harry, we're in this together,” she told him earnestly, but something in his eyes told her that there was more to it. “What is it?” she asked gingerly.

“Hermione before I say anything I want you to know that I love you, and I'd never do anything that would hurt you. You see, I went to see Dumbledore this morning and asked him if they could move you to another school where you'd be safer. Somewhere where Voldemort couldn't find you,” he finished, waiting for all this to sink in. Now, he was waiting for her blast.

“You did what?” she asked, her voice raised an octave. “How dare you? After everything we've been through don't you think I have a say in this matter? Don't you think I'd rather be with you rather than in some different school wondering what happened to you?” she said and by the time she finished she was shouting.

“This is your life we're talking about Hermione! I don't want you to get killed because of me! I want to protect you!” Harry yelled back, not caring about the odd looks he got from everyone in the common room.

“Exactly it's MY life! I decide what's going to happen to me not just anyone! If I want to stay here then I'll bloody hell stay!”

“Not if I don't want you to! I want you somewhere safe where no one will hurt you! Don't you see I love you damn it!”

“I love you too but I'll be damned if I sit this out. I'll be right there with you. You can't make me go away!”

“Oh can't I? You just watch me!”

“Stop it damn it stay right there! Harry for heaven's sake just STOP!” she screamed this last word, ignoring the fact the everyone was listening to this conversation, including Professor McGonagall who had come to see what the racket was all about.

“Hermione you're leaving and that's final! I'm not letting anything happen to you and that's final! Not after last night anyway!”

“Oh so it's this that this is about! You screwed me so you want me out of the way now?! Is that what it is?! It would be more comfortable for you?!” she screamed angrily. It was true, last night they made love and it was the most wonderful thing that either experienced. They lay in bed afterwards promising each other the future. Together, they drifted asleep not as two, but as one soul combined.

“What? You really think that?! WE MADE LOVE HERMIONE I DIDN'T SCREW YOU AS YOU SO DELICATELY PUT IT!” A gasp could be heard from the curious onlookers and a stern cough from Professor McGonagall but either could care less.

“Well that's not what you're making out to be is it?” Hermione yelled back.

“I need you in my life! I don't want you to get hurt because of me! Too many people have died because of my stupid life and me! Don't you think I'd give anything not to have this bloody scar?! I love you damn it and I'll be damned if something were to happen to you too!” he shouted the last words as his anger had raised a couple of notches.

“Harry, I'm not going anywhere, I'll be right here with you. I'm not going to leave you. Not now, not never,” she told him softly and opened her arms where he went immediately. They stood hugging each other for a while then Harry led Hermione to her room.

“Listen Herm, you do know that I'd never hurt you on purpose right?” she nodded and he continued, “It's just that we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, next week hell we don't even know what's going to happen in one hour! But what I do know is that our love for each other is real and well, I have a surprise for you next week when the graduation ceremony will take place. Promise me that you'll be careful?”

“I will,” she said and leaned up to kiss him.

END OF FLASHBACK

The next night Voldemort had come to attack Harry. We were alone with Ron going up to the castle when we heard his evil laugh. A silhouette emerged from the Forbidden Forest and stopped us dead in our tracks…

FLASHBACK

“Well if it isn't Potter with his mud blood friend and his little side-kick. Too bad they won't be alive to see you get killed,” he said, and with a swift gesture he went to raise his wand, only to be interrupted by Harry's scream.

“NO!”

“Well well well… Potter seems to be tortured with the idea of killing you in front of his very own eyes. Crucio!” he screamed, leaving no room for Harry to do something, and Ron was down on his fours, pain going through his body at once.

Hermione and Harry made eye contact and at that moment they knew what they had to do. Instead of staring at a tortured Ron, Hermione let out a blood-curling scream that made Voldemort lose concentration, thus having Harry run into him.

“Run!” he told them and started to retrieve Voldemort's wand that had landed a few meters away from where Voldemort had fell. Ron nodded and shouted,

“I'm going to get Dumbledore!” and ran into the castle. Hermione stayed put trying to decide if she should do what she was thinking. As if Harry knew what she was thinking, nodded affirmatively and then informed her,

“I'm starting it!” before Hermione had anytime to object Harry got up to his feet and aimed his wand at Voldemort and shouted,

“Sentinsius Infernus!” and a ray of blue emitted at his wand, sending it straight to Voldemort's chest. He merely laughed but then as soon as Hermione went and stood near Harry, the smile was wiped off his face. She raised her wand and shouted the same spell. Hers was a ray of green and together they formed a purple light that made Voldemort scream in agony. He was disappearing and as soon as all this had started, Hermione saw a flash of green light pass in front of her eyes, and then blacked out.

END OF FLASHBACK

And so I woke up here, all the details returned to me. At my bedside was Professor Dumbledore with a sad smile on his face that worsened that sick feeling I had in my stomach. I want to ask so many questions but decided to inquire him of the foremost important thing in my mind.

“Harry?” I manage to croak out, realizing that my voice isn't as strong as I thought.

“Miss Granger I seem to think that you need to get as much rest as you possibly can before all the questions start pouring out as to how you and Mr. Potter managed to defeat Lord Voldemort. Rest my dear, for you are resting for two,” he told me, and his crystal blue eyes stop at my belly. I let out a small gasp of shock, and then my hand instinctively caresses my belly. `Harry's baby,' I immediately think. But the question remains.

“Harry?”

“I see you're as stubborn as you always are Miss Granger,” he says with a sad twinkle in his eyes. “Mr. Potter had disappeared by the time that I came out with Mr. Weasley. I fear he had been banished to the unknown as well as Voldemort. You did know of the consequences and that was one of them I fear,” he said and with that he gets up and leaves my bedside, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

`No it can't be! No! I need him! He isn't gone!' a train of thoughts keep going round in my mind and the tears that were threatening to spill before were coming out non-stop. Harry… my Harry gone… NO! I need you Harry! I need you tonight! We have a baby… no please God I beg you not him, anything but him! I hear Madam Pomfrey let out a small sigh as she listens to my desperate cries. I know it's soul shattering but that's exactly how I feel. He's gone… dead… it was all my fault! No! The door opens slightly and for a second my heart stops beating as I realize that it could be Harry. However it was Ron.

“Hey how are you holding up?” he asks gingerly. I just look over his shoulder, not trusting my voice to speak. The tears are still pouring out silently as my brain tries to acknowledge the fact the Harry's truly gone. I'll never get to see his bright green eyes light up every time something comes up. Or his smile that could light up a room and make my heart flutter. “Hermione, I know it's hard but you have to think of the baby. Harry would want his child to be happy and safe now that he has defeated Voldemort. Think about it… tomorrow's another day… the sun will come up again… life goes on Herm…” he said and gave my hand a gently squeeze before he got up and left. He doesn't understand. He hasn't lost Lavender. He hasn't lost the lost of his life. I'll never love another man ever again the way I've loved Harry. OH Harry damn you for leaving me to raise our child alone! I wipe away the tears that keep coming down.

The sun's rays dance lazily on my face as I turn my head to face the window and let out a breath of surprise. Staring back at me where two wonderful pools of green with a toothy grin to go with it. His hand knocking at the window and Madam Pomfrey running to open it with tears of her own coming down.

“It's a miracle,” she keeps muttering over and over again, trying to tend to my love's wounds. He however tells her “Later,” and comes to me and hugs me for everything that I was worth…

“I love you… you and our baby,” he says while placing his hand on my belly, and gives me an earth shattering kiss.

“Harry…” I merely whisper and continue to hold him tightly, thanking the gods for bringing him back to me…

A/N: Hated it? Loved it? Think there's room for improvement? Want me to post my other stories? IF you would be so kind as to leave a review I'd be grateful! I thrive on reviews! =) God Bless … neni =)

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