Sorceress, Know Thyself

LadyTuesday

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 09/08/2004
Last Updated: 09/08/2004
Status: completed

Ever taken one of those "How well do you know your best friend" quizzes in a magazine? The Pumpkins are about to do just that .... ~~ Based on the 'Answer me this ...' challenge at portkey.org ~~

Chapters

1. the quiz

1. the quiz

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

PG 13 rating is for mild language/behavior.

Author notes: I just absolutely loved the "Answer Me This..." challenge when I saw it over at portkey.org and what came out of it was so cute and adorably fluffy I just had to share it with the fandom. It's my first piece of fic that isn't either long, complicated, or both, so I had a ton of fun writing it ...

Hope you enjoy it!
~~ ** Lady Tuesday ** ~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorceress, Know Thyself

Hermione sighed heavily as she slapped her book shut.

"All right, that's it!" she snapped. She smirked with slight satisfaction as the three people around her jumped just a tad. Ron and Harry looked as if they had been wrenched out of warfare, instead of just a game of wizard's chess. Ginny looked up over the edge of the magazine she had been reading and quirked an eyebrow at the older girl.

"What's up?" she asked lightly as she shut the issue of Witch Weekly and laid it in her lap.

Hermione sat up and dusted off the bit of soot from the hearthrug that had collected on her sweater when she had lain down to do her homework. Ron had a typically puzzled look on his face as he looked away from the chessboard at her, Harry taking that advantage to pummel his bishop into submission.

"I am sick of doing homework!" Hermione declared regally, and then scowled as Harry and Ron each made exaggerated gasps and shows of mock surprise.

"Good lord, man! Get something to write down the date with!" Harry cried as he tugged jokingly on Ron's sleeve. "Hermione Granger is sick of homework!"

"Oh, cork it," she muttered as she curled cross-legged with her back to the fire, receiving loud laughter from Harry and Ron and a chuckle from Ginny. "There's got to be something better to do on a Saturday night, hasn't there?"

"At last, a break-through!" Ginny cried, receiving another scowl from Hermione. "Actually, as it happens, I've just come across something I thought would be rather fun for this group ... I mean, it's only meant for two people, but I suppose it could be interesting for all four of us ..."

Hermione looked up with interest, mildly skeptical looks on the faces of the boys met Ginny. "Oh come on," Hermione said. "Better than sitting doing nothing, right?" she directed towards Ron and Harry.

"Oh all right," Harry relented with a sigh, but winked at Hermione.

"I guess," Ron intoned like a petulant child.

"Fabulous," Ginny said and held the Witch Weekly out. "How Well Do You Know Your Best Friend, a quiz..."

"I stand corrected," Hermione muttered.

"Shush, it'll be fun," Ginny returned. "Besides, it'll tell us which of these dunderheads pay attention."

Ron opened his mouth to protest but Ginny continued.

"Well, we can't all possibly for each other ... it would take forever ... so ... erm ... Let's make it a contest. Since Harry and Hermione both agreed to do the test willingly, let's see who knows Harry and Hermione the best!"

Hermione looked skeptical and Harry blushed. Ron, however, looked decidedly smug.

"No contest on Harry, then," he said.

Ginny smirked. "We'll see. Everyone get a quill and some parchment to keep score. Ready?"

When Hermione sighed, Harry nodded half-heartedly and Ron cracked his knuckles, Ginny read out from the page.

"Number one: When was the last time he or she was really mad? ... Let's start with Hermione. When was the last time she was really mad?"

Ron piped up quickly. "She's always mad at Harry and me, she thinks we're nutters."

Ginny laughed soundly, but Harry cut off the firm scolding he could see coming from Hermione by answering himself. "Oh, I think there's no contest to that ... I'd say she was pretty peeved when you mailed a pair of her knickers to Viktor Krum."

Ginny covered her hand with her mouth to stifle the giggles as Hermione turned red with anger and embarrassment at the memory. "Wasn't that at the New Year's party at the Burrow?" Ginny chortled.

Ron blushed. "Yeah," he responded, smirking. "I had a bit too much of Dad's Firewhiskey--"

"And wrote Krum that if he really wanted to, and I quote, 'smooch Hermione's rear end that much, I'll just send you these to make it easier,'" Hermione fumed.

Harry laughed outright, earning him an angry glare as Ron laughed as well. "Aw come on, Hermione," Ron spoke up, "Krum has probably made a shrine out of them. It's all just for a laugh."

She pinkened in embarrassment and muttered, "It still wasn't your place to--" but Ginny, smiling, talked over her.

"So that's a point to Harry," she stated. "All right, when's the last time Harry was really mad?"

"When Malfoy called his mum a 'social climbing mudblood slut' in potions that day," Hermione returned easily.

"Ferrety little bastard," Harry spat angrily.

"Yeah, but you got him back good with a nice Full Body Bind after class," Ron added.

"True," Harry replied, grinning.

"And one point for Hermione," Ginny recorded with a tick mark on her parchment. "Ron, you'll have to hurry up, you're lagging behind already and it's only the first question."

"It's only because they talk so fast," Ron muttered sullenly.

"All right, number two: What's Hermione's all time greatest fear?"

"Well, that's easy," Ron chimed, "failing her lessons and tests and things."

Ginny nodded, ready to write down a point, but Hermione interrupted.

"Actually, it's not," she began. She flushed with embarrassment and quietly returned, "I'm actually, er ... afraid that I'm---"

"Plain," Harry finished. "Not good enough."

Hermione stared down at her lap but nodded.

Ginny and Ron both stared at the two of them for a second before Ginny quietly scratched another point for Harry. "And Harry's greatest fear?"

Ron and Hermione spoke as one for that question. "Having to defeat Voldemort alone."

Harry smiled uncertainly as he looked between the two of them, and after a ringing moment of silence, all four people erupted into light giggles.

"It's a good thing you got that one Ron," Ginny laughed, "you were headed into negative numbers."

"Shut it," he returned and put out his tongue at her.

"Question three: What's their favorite type of weather?"

"Oh, that's easy," Hermione replied. "Bright, sunny day, no clouds, warm but not hot with a light wind."

"Perfect Quidditch conditions," Ron noted, grinning.

Harry nodded and Ginny scribed points for both Hermione and Ron. "How about Hermione?"

All parties were silent for a moment, looking thoroughly puzzled.

"Well, you do seem to be the happiest on those damn dreary days where there's nothing to do but sit and read," Harry answered at last.

Hermione laughed roundly, but answered, "Actually, my favorites are winter days where it's really bright and sunny but just cold enough to be crisp. So it's good for either a light walk or sleigh ride, or to stay inside and read a book."

Harry and Ron both smiled back at her. "There's the Hermione I know," Ron said.

"So much for Harry's lucky streak," Ginny joked, poking him. "Question four: Say the person had to chose between falling in love or doing well in school ... which would Hermione--"

"Doing well in school," Harry and Ron answered simultaneously.

After a moment of silence, Ginny, for the first time, responded. "Falling in love."

Hermione flushed again, looked to Ginny and nodded.

Ron and Harry both stared back, gape-mouthed.

"Well," she said, clearing her throat, "I've already proved I can do well in school, haven't I? Falling in love ..." she trailed off.

Ginny cleared her throat after a second or two and then said, "How about Harry?"

"Falling in love," Hermione answered quietly.

"Actually, no," Harry returned, blushing, "I've had enough go wrong with love and to be honest, I could use a few good grades here and there."

All four of them laughed, but Ginny proceeded quickly to the next question. "Number five: Their first kiss was with..."

"Cho Chang," Hermione, Ron and Ginny all said in perfect unison.

Harry buried his head in the pillows of the nearest armchair. "I wish that not everyone on the planet knew that," Harry moaned, slightly muffled, which set them all laughing again.

"I think I need a drink," Harry said and dashed away to his room. He returned with four bottles of butterbeer, which he handed out summarily.

"You know," Hermione said as she took her first swig, "I don't think I'm even going to ask."

"Probably better that way," Harry smirked and they all set about downing their drinks.

"Points for Ron and Hermione," Ginny said after taking a few sips. "And Hermione's first?"

"Viktor Krum," Ron answered, but Harry shook his head.

"I don't think so," he answered slowly. "I don't know who it is, but I don't think that's right."

Hermione shook her head. It was Ginny, again, who answered for her. "It was Harry, actually."

Ron looked stunned. "When did you ever kiss her?" he demanded, but Hermione blushed and cleared her throat.

"Well, he didn't really," she started. "Actually, at that same New Year's party last year, if you remember, I was a bit ... tipsy myself."

"You were pissed, my girl," Ginny stated bluntly.

"All right, all right, I admit it, I was pissed," she huffed, " and ... and at midnight, if you remember, I ... well I--"

"You kissed me on the lips," Harry muttered, a look of complete surprise on his face. Hermione flushed deeper and nodded. "I'd forgotten that," he said, almost to himself. After a moment of silence, he turned to her. "That was your first?"

"And only," Ginny added.

"Ginevra Weasley!" Hermione whispered furiously.

She merely smiled. "So I suppose Harry gets a point for that ..."

"Stretching it a bit, if you ask me," said Ron, who had crossed his arms in indignance.

"Better than you've done," Ginny answered. "Anyhow, question six: What's the most spontaneous thing they've ever done?"

Hermione pondered for a moment. "I'd say when Harry went charging into the ministry after Sirius."

"That wasn't an all-together brilliant move," Harry groused.

"She said spontaneous, not intelligent," Hermione countered.

"Point taken, I guess she's right," Harry said to Ginny.

"And Hermione?" Ron asked, obviously having no idea himself.

"I'd say either kissing me last New Year's or slapping Draco Malfoy in Care of Magical Creatures Third Year," Harry answered, to which Harry, Hermione and Ron all chuckled loudly and Ginny raised her eyebrows.

"Good show!" she said to Hermione while writing down points for Harry. "Well, Hermione's doing a sight better than you lot. She's only missed one ... you've missed two, Harry and you're not even worth counting," she directed at Ron. Ron put out his tongue at her again as she read off the next question.

"What foods constitute their perfect meal?"

"Anything Hogwarts serves," Hermione answered and Harry laughed and nodded.

"Anything that doesn't come in quarters from the Dursleys is just fine by me," he answered.

"And Hermione's?"

Harry screwed up his face in concentration, squeezed his eyes shut, and answered slowly. "Um ... Caesar salad first, beef stew, maybe some grilled chicken and broccoli, and ... chocolate ice cream."

Hermione giggled. "Perfect. How'd you know that?"

Harry grinned when Ron responded, "Yeah, how did you know that?"

"I pay attention every now and then," he chortled, and left it at that.

"Well she talks so bloody much ..." Ron whined, to which Hermione thumped him soundly on the back of the head, rousing a hearty chuckle from Ginny.

"All right, what charm do they use most often?"

"Alohamora," Harry answered. "For getting Ron and I into places we aren't supposed to be."

Hermione grinned. "And Harry uses the Summoning charm ... because he's lazy."

Ron and Harry smirked and Ginny scratched down points.

"Oh here's an interesting one," Ginny remarked before looking around the common room to see that they were the only ones left in it. "How many children do they want to have?"

"Harry wants two," Hermione responded firmly.

"She wants three," Harry replied confidently.

Ginny and Ron looked at each other cautiously and Ginny continued to the next question without a comment. "And what will their names be?"

"James and Lily," the two said at the same time.

Harry and Hermione slowly turned to look at each other before Harry, without taking his eyes off Hermione's face, added, "and Harry."

Several moments of dead silence rang within the common room, the only noise being the crackle of the fireplace behind Hermione. Harry, without even realizing it, scooted around to face Hermione, blocking out the other two, watching the pair, astonished.

"How did you know I wanted those names?" Hermione asked, blushing.

"I ... don't know," he finished. "I truly don't."

Ginny cleared her throat, but received no response. Harry and Hermione were still staring at each other, amazed. "What is their favorite piece of clothing?" she asked, trying to break the tension.

"Invisibility cloak," Hermione answered without a stir.

"Her green silk dressing gown that her mother gave her---"

"Last birthday," Hermione finished, nodding.

Ron and Ginny were now staring at the two of them, unabashed. Ginny decided to test them further ... "Floo powder, portkey, or broom?"
"Come on, challenge me," Hermione answered with a smirk. "Broom." She waited a beat and then said, "Boring."

"None of the above for her," Harry shot back. "Sissy."

"Dream job?"

"Auror," Hermione responded easily.

Ron cleared his throat, obviously intending on returning the conversation to a group effort. "She said she wants to be a librarian," Ron stated baldly.

"Actually, she wants to be a teacher," Harry stated without even looking away from Hermione's face. "She just hasn't told anyone yet. Transfiguration, I bet."

Hermione nodded. Ginny dropped her quill and glanced down at the magazine. "How many times have you downed a butterbeer together?"

"Seventy Two," Harry answered swiftly, beating Hermione to the punch.

"You have them counted?" Ron asked, scandalized.

Hermione ignored him. "Seventy three."

"Two," Harry argued.

"Three," she reiterated.

"Two," he said more forcefully, his eyes gleaming with the challenge.

Hermione lifted her hand, clinked her bottle against the one currently residing in Harry's hand. The one he'd forgotten was there. "Three," Hermione countered triumphantly.

"Seventy three," Harry conceded, grinning.

"You have them counted," Ron repeated, this time as a horrified statement rather than a question.

"What Quidditch position are they most qualified for?" Ginny asked, checking her magazine and grinning, a knowing smile beginning to inch across her face.

"Oh, that's a challenge," Ron griped.

"Seeker, of course," Hermione answered. "But I suppose he'd make a good Chaser if not Seeker."

"I don't know about her," Harry answered. "Cheerleader, I suppose, seeing how she hates to fly."

"Or a Beater," Ron interjected, "seeing how she loves to cause us pain."

"And you're qualified to be the bat," Hermione returned, scowling. Ron growled at Harry's whooping laughter.

Ginny laughed roundly as Ron looked thoroughly insulted to the core. "Well, I don't have to take this insult!" he declared, rising from the floor. Ginny grabbed a fistful of shirt and hauled him back down.

"Hex of choice?" she asked.

"Oh, I'd say the Full Body Bind for him," Hermione stated.

"Yeah, that's a fun one," Harry answered before stating Hermione's. "She's quite fond of the Conjunctivitis Curse though ... little brat."

Hermione grinned and put out her tongue.

"What would their Animagus form be?" Ginny continued. Silently, Ginny mused about how long it would take the two to realize they hadn't looked at anyone else in quite a while.

"Harry'd be a stag, naturally."

"Hmmmm," Harry considered. "I think she'd be a dolphin."

"Why a dolphin?" she asked inquisitively.

"Because they're brilliant," he said, blushing just slightly. "And friendly," he continued, blushing a little more, "and beautiful to watch when they don't know you're watching."

Hermione's face melted into a shy, surprised smile. Ginny's mirrored it, with just a touch of satisfaction. Ron's face went from surprised to a sudden dawn of comprehension. Ginny couldn't help a giggle as she read the next question. "Do they have any birthmarks, and if so, where? And no saying Harry's scar," she added hastily, "that's cheating."

Harry screwed up his features in concentration again. "I don't think she has any. Except for the mole on her right elbow," he added quickly.

Hermione smiled. "That's it," she said happily. "But Harry ..." she stopped, busting into a fit of giggles. "Harry," she started again, but couldn't finish.

"What's so funny?" Ron asked, completely dumbfounded.

"Harry has one shaped like a little brown tomato," she managed, and then burst into peals of laughter.

Ginny looked amused but puzzled. "Where?"

Hermione was purple with laughter now, watching Harry blush. "On his bum," she choked out.

"What!?!" Ginny squealed hysterically.

Hermione nodded and proceeded to laugh riotously as Ginny chuckled and even Ron started to guffaw.

"How do you know that?!" Harry asked, his voice squeaking in embarrassment.

It took Hermione a moment to calm down, but when she did, she gulped her laughter in between words. "You remember about two months ago, you were coming out of the prefect's bathroom in your dressing gown, and I was going in, and you dropped your towel?"

"Yes," Harry answered warily.

Ron and Ginny were already howling in hysterics at the mental picture.

"Let's just say you ought to get a less ... ventilated dressing gown, Harry," Hermione said, doing her best to stifle her giggles.

"You mean you ... how much did you see?!" he demanded.

"Enough," she answered, a smirk spread across her face. "Of your bum," she continued, seeing in his face where his thoughts were going. "Nothing else, don't worry."

A few moments went by with Harry fuming in embarrassed silence as the others tried to contain their giggles. Eventually, Ginny piped back up with, "Is there anything they hide from everyone in their room?"

Harry suddenly looked like a child in a sweet shoppe with a whole pocketful of money. Before he could answer, Hermione answered loudly and quickly, "He has a love letter from Luna Lovegood!"

Harry blushed just a tad, but sneered at her before turning to Ginny and Ron. The smile on his face was ridiculously devilish. "I do ... but that's not half as bad as the autographed, framed picture of Gilderoy Lockhart that she has under her bed that's got the glass all covered with kiss marks."

Ron and Ginny burst into wild whoops of laughter, as it was Hermione's turn to be pink with embarrassment.

"Harry!" she squeaked. "You said you wouldn't tell!"

"You've told people about my bum!" he returned quickly, his face angry. But the anger melted and they both grinned at each other quickly.

"I guess we're square," she said laughing.

Harry nodded and looked back to Hermione's face, smiling.

After several more moments of the two of them just staring at each other and smiling, Ginny cleared her throat.

"Last question: What's their favorite thing about you? The person who's answering the question, obviously ..." She trailed into silence as neither Hermione nor Harry made any move to speak. After a few more moments, she cleared her throat again.

"I have no idea," Harry said.

"Me either, Hermione answered.

Ginny and Ron watched in silent amazement as Harry was leaning towards Hermione. When he was a breath away from her face, he answered.

"My favorite thing ... She listens ..."

"He smiles ..." she whispered.

"She puts up with my crap," he continued, smiling, his eyes sparkling. "And she ..." he trailed off, swallowed hard and moved so close that their noses brushed. "She loves me anyway..."

"He--"

But what Hermione was going to list as her last favorite thing about Ron and Ginny would never know. Harry had cupped a hand over Hermione's cheek and pressed his lips to her own. For a stunned moment, Ginny and Ron watched before Ginny stood quickly and quietly, grasping a handful of Ron's shirt, yanking him to his feet, and heaving him in the direction of the boys' dormitory stairs. Ginny took one last look over her shoulder, her heart leaping with happiness as she watched Harry's arms come around Hermione's back and the two rise up to their knees as her arms laced around his neck. Ginny could see a single tear trickle down Hermione's cheek as she pulled Harry closer. Ginny smiled and climbed the stairs.

After a sweet meeting of lips and an even sweeter parting, Hermione leaned back, her arms still around Harry's neck, and surveyed his face. He smiled gently back at her and she noticed there was a tear at his eye as well. She reached up lightly, removed his glasses and dabbed a soft finger under his eyelashes, brushing the tear away.

"He always surprises me," she whispered as he pulled her close again, smiling against her lips as she kissed him.

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