Forever Angel

Twisted Anjel

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 21/08/2004
Last Updated: 03/09/2004
Status: in_progress

"In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing."

Chapters

1. Forever Angel

2. Forever Angel 2

3. Forever Angel 3

1. Forever Angel

Disclaimer: I don't own anything ... Blah, blah, blah.

Summary: "In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing."

Author's Note: A sad one-shot that I couldn't help but write. Well, it was supposed to be one chapter but I thought it was a bit long. I broke it up into parts. I don't know how many chapters because I'm not done with it yet. I'll just post as I go along. All memories (which are not in order) and thoughts are in italics. I've never tried writing a fic that goes from present to memory the entire way so please let me know if I succeeded.

- Anjel -

Forever Angel

Silent tears streamed steadily down her face as she pulled out clothes from her closet and drawers, throwing them in a pile on her bed. She grabbed anything in reach and placed them in her trunk, finally leaving dressers and drawers empty. She dragged a hand roughly across her face and sat down on the bed, unaware that the pile of clothing was threatening to slide right off the edge.

Hermione glanced around the dormitory that had been her bedroom alone for the past three years, making sure nothing would be left behind. The sun beamed through the open window, shining a light on the young witch, the light played with the emotions on her face, glinting on the tears that continued to make their path down her cheeks.

As her eyes roamed around the room, they caught a light and she looked down. She leaned down to pick up a stranded photograph, half concealed under her bed. The picture brought on a fresh round of salty droplets, its smiling faces seemed to mock her, waving in her a face a not so long ago past that seemed so long ago.

Harry's face was smiling up at her, his arms wrapped around Hermione's waist. He leaned in for a sloppy kiss, waggling his eyebrows. The picture Hermione laughed and tried to pull away, finally giving up and giving her boyfriend the kiss he wanted.

Hermione wiped a tear that was threatening to fall on the precious picture, her mind wandering to That Day. The day that was the best and worst all in one. The day Harry was promised to her and taken away. Hermione looked down at her left hand, a heart encrusted diamond ring snuggled in between her pinky and middle finger. The diamonds winked up at her, reminding her that the promise the ring stood for would never be fulfilled.

She shook her head, the tears coming down harder. "No, no, no, no ..." she repeated, over and over, hoping if the word was said enough, it would be true. She let her head fall into her hands, the magical photograph slipping from her grasp and floating to the ground.

She didn't hear the soft knock on her door, or the muffled calling of her name. Grief so raw wrapped around her, suffocating her until she was choking on tears.

"Hermione?" the voice called again, the door opening slowly.

Ron looked over at his best friend, his heart constricting painfully as he tried to control his own emotions. He walked over to her and touched her shoulder gently, not wanting to startle her.

Hermione's head popped up, her eyes wide with surprise. "Oh, Ron. I didn't ... I didn't hear you come in ..." she cleared her throat and hastily turned away, swiping at her face. She didn't want him to see her cry, she had been doing too much of that lately.

He looked over at the half-hazard pile of clothing. "So you're done packing?" he asked with a slight smile.

She tried. Really she did, but the smile didn't want to come.

Ron sighed and sat down next to her. He looked down at his hands, trying hard to be cheerful for her. As he lifted a hand to rub his temple, the sun glinted off the photograph and caught his attention. He stooped down to pick it up and gave a sad smile.

"I remember this day," he said quietly, staring down at his two best friends. That day seemed so long ago.

Hermione looked over at him but didn't say anything. She studied him as he gazed down at the photo. She realized with guilt that Harry's death had been terrible for not only her but Ron also, all of the Weasley's, in fact. Ron had lost a lot of weight; his blue eyes lost the mischievous twinkle, replaced with pain. He was no longer as carefree as before; jokes and laughter were few and far between.

"He was so nervous," Ron continued, now lost in the memory. He looked up at her. "I watched him practice in front of the mirror for days. He wanted the proposal to be perfect and no matter how many times I told him that you would say yes even if he just threw the ring at you and said 'Marry me', he wouldn't listen." He let out a small chuckle. "He loved you, Hermione."

She set her mouth into a grim line, her face contorted in anger. "Too much."

Ron looked up at her, confusion traced along his eyes. "What?"

"He loved me too much. It's my fault. If I had just stayed away like he had asked then he would be here with us. He would be with me, we would be graduating, we would be getting married, starting a family ..." It was angry tears that ran down her cheeks this time.

Ron shook his head. "Hermione, it isn't your fault. If Harry had heard you just now, you would have heard an earful. He thought you were worth everything and if it weren't for you, he wouldn't have lasted as long as he did."

Hermione only shook her head. He didn't understand. "I should have listened. Why didn't I listen to him?"

I was his destruction. If I had just stayed away Harry wouldn't have come after me, he wouldn't have tried to save me ... She couldn't stop the tears. She couldn't turn back time. She couldn't stop her heart from shattering into a million pieces.

I'm so sorry, Harry.

+ + +

Harry stood rigidly staring out at the lake, the water frozen solid. He buried his hands in his pockets and hunched up his shoulders against the icy wind. The late December weather reflected his mood and he was grateful. He felt balanced somehow.

He felt as if everything was crumbling around him and he was powerless to stop it. Voldemort was on the rebound, destroying everything and everyone who stood in his path. The wizarding world was on end, waiting for the day the Dark Lord would make his revenge on Harry Potter. They all believed The-Boy-Who-Lived could defeat him and they would be safe, not realizing that the pressure was suffocating Harry, and that he was only a human, with faults and weaknesses. He was supposed to save everyone, but who was going to save him?

His loved ones were more at risk now than ever before, especially with the threat that Hogwarts would be the next place attacked. Voldemort had let the world know that Muggles and Half-bloods would be the first to go. Anyone not of pure-blood would die, which included non-humans as well. Those against the Dark Side were dying and people were crying out for help.

Harry didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to save all of the innocent people who were dying by the dozens. Voldemort's whereabouts were virtually unknown; his Death Eaters completed all his dirty work and left no tracks behind them. The day where Voldemort would come out and face Harry personally was fast approaching, Harry felt, and he was ready. He was stronger than Voldemort; his training in occlumency, legilimency, defense spells, and wand less magic were only a few to vouch for this. But he also had something else that Voldemort would never possess; love.

Love was the reason he was out in the cold to begin with. His life had been difficult and still was but because of this love, he was managing. He knew if he didn't have the love of one person in particular, Hermione Granger, he would not have been alive today. She kept him going. That was why his decision killed him so much, because he knew it would hurt her to no end. That was why he was so miserable lately, so out of tune with everything.

He had to push the one person he loved more than anything in the world away from him, make her hate him. The only way he knew to protect her was to let her go. He just didn't know how he would do it; or even if she would buy it. He knew she would see right through him, she always did, but he had to try...

"Harry?" His back stiffened at the voice. He tried to harden his resolve as the footsteps came nearer, tried to control his emotions.

"Harry?" Hermione called again. She could tell by his posture that he wanted to be left alone but she would not be pushed away.

"Go away," he replied, his tone flat and emotionless. He didn't turn around to face her, knowing that the minute he looked into her eyes, his plan would be completely ruined.

She stopped in her tracks, feet away from him. Hurt crawled up her spine, not so much at his words but at the tone of his voice. She had never heard him talk to her like that. "Harry?" she tried again, hesitantly. She took a few steps until she was standing next to him. "Harry, please don't -"

"Don't you understand the meaning of 'go away' or do I have to say it in another language?" he said, still not looking at her. His face was hard, his eyes screwed up against the snow that had begun to fall.

Hermione was taken aback but she didn't leave. She placed a gloved hand on his arm, wanting him to look at her. If she only could see his eyes, she would know what he was feeling.

Though he was wearing regular clothing, his Hogwarts robe, and a thick coat, he could still feel her warmth; her support. He paused a moment before shrugging her hand off. "Leave me alone."

"But I -"

"Leave me alone."

"Harry ..."

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" he shouted this one out, finally turning to face her, twisting his face into a look of anger. "Why do you have to be so bothersome? Why can't you mind your own bloody business?" he cried, then rushed on before he crumbled. He avoided looking directly at her, knowing she would be wearing a look of shock and hurt. "I can't stand you anymore! You're always in my face, always wanting to talk! I don't want to bloody talk! Especially to you! Stop trying to help me, got it? I don't want your help, or anything else for that matter! So go eff off!" He was breathing heavily, not believing his own ears. No, no, no ... I'm so sorry Hermione ... I don't mean it ...

She didn't speak and he chanced a glance at her. She was staring at him in absolute shock, her eyes filled with glistening tears. One rolled down her cheek and she didn't wipe it away until a small ball of snow landed there and stayed. His arm came up to touch her cheek but he stopped himself just in time. His heart was beating too fast for it to be normal, his stomach felt twisted, and he felt nauseated. Never in a million years would he have said all that to Hermione; His Hermione.

Please say something ... He begged silently, looking back out at the lake. The giant squid had his tentacles against the ice, trying to break it free. Harry felt as if he were the one trapped under there.

"Do you love me?"

For a moment, he hadn't realized it was Hermione who had spoken. He looked over at her, she was staring at him, her eyes intense. He expected to see hate in them, but all he saw was determination. "What?" he asked, taken by surprise. He had expected her to hex him into oblivion or at least run, but she stood firm. No wonder I love her so much.

"Do you love me?" she repeated, her eyes glued to his.

The word "yes" was on the tip of his tongue and he had to force it down. He hesitated. "No, I don't," he finally answered, averting his eyes. The squid had given up on trying to crack the frozen water and had retreated deep into the lake.

"Look at me and say that," she demanded, her voice now hard.

He shook his head and spat, in a voice entirely not his own, "I don't have to do anything you tell me to. I said I don't love you, what more do you want? Don't hold on to silly girlish illusions, Hermione, because there is no hidden meaning here."

"Look at me and say you don't love me!" she shouted, bringing her hand up and pulling his face towards hers.

"I DON'T LOVE YOU!" he roared, face red and eyes blazing. He watched as she searched his eyes, hoping she wouldn't see the lie.

She dropped her hand from his cheek and the warmth was immediately gone. He missed it. Hermione looked away for a second then brought her gaze back to his. "I don't believe you," she said softly.

Before he knew what he was doing, his arms were wrapped around her and he was pulling her to him, as close together as they could get. He buried his face in between her neck and shoulder and tried to hold in tears of regret. He felt something hit the top of his head and he looked up. Her arms were holding him tight and silent tears trailed down her cheeks and slid off her chin. "Don't do that, Harry," she whispered. "Don't try and push me away to protect me because I'm not going anywhere. This is my choice, not yours. I want to be with you, so it's my risk."

"I'm so sorry," he murmured, ashamed beyond belief. "I didn't mean any of it, Hermione, please believe me. I just don't want you to get hurt; I don't want Voldemort to use you against me."

"Harry, he would use me even if you did manage to push me away, because he knows how much I mean to you. So either way I'm in danger. I rather be in danger while I'm with you than without you. Ask any one of us," she continued, referring to Ron, the Weasley's and all those loyal to Harry. "We will choose to be with you."

He couldn't believe her courage and loyalty. He couldn't understand why anyone would choose to die for him. "Why?"

"Because I love you and that's that."

+ + +

Ron watched as Hermione pushed her dinner from one side to the other, her head leaning on her hand and her eyes downcast.

"Hermione? Are you going to eat at all? Or just try and make the food on your plate look like some kind of picture?" Ron asked finally.

She didn't answer and he wasn't sure if she was lost in her own world and hadn't heard him or if she was just ignoring him. "Hermione?" he tried again.

She looked up this time, almost dazed. "Hmm? Did you say something?"

"You should eat," he said this time, hating that pained look in her eyes that seemed to be present at all times.

Hermione pushed her plate away, the chicken and potatoes barely resembling food any more, and sighed. "I'm not hungry."

Ron shook his head. "Hermione, you have to eat." He watched her shake her head again and sighed. She had lost a lot of weight in such a short period of time and it was worrying him. "Fine, I give up. I guess we should start cleaning up Harry's dormitory."

Hermione nodded and stood up without saying a word. Ginny gave Hermione a worried glance, having watched her play around with her food also. Ron just shrugged and Ginny turned away shaking her head. As the two friends walked down the row of students eating, many watched them go, pity written all over them. Ron and Hermione were used to such looks since Harry's death and ignored them.

They made the trek up to the Gryffindor Common Room in silence. Ron pushed open the door and walked inside, trying hard to be cheerful. He turned to say something to Hermione but found her still outside. "Hermione? Are you coming?" he called, worried at the look on her face. "I can do this alone, if you can't ..." he didn't finish his sentence.

Hermione shook her head. "No, I-I'm fine. I just ... I'm fine." She entered the room and went over to the dresser, ignoring Ron's questioning look.

He let it pass, however, and went over to the closet, taking off robes and clothing from the hangars.

As Hermione stared at the objects on Harry's dresser, she wished she had let Ron pack Harry's stuff alone. All she wanted to do was curl up on his bed and cry ... What she did on the day she found out he had died. She walked over to the bed that was neatly made and sat down. Memories hit her full force.

They had spent a lot of their time in Harry's room, on his bed, showing each other the love they felt. They had taken to sleeping together and Hermione had gotten so used to falling asleep with Harry's arms around her that she wasn't able to fall sleep otherwise.

She pulled out his pillow and pressed it to her face, his smell engulfing her. Tears began to well up and she felt like she was suffocating. She pushed her face into his pillow, into his scent, and into his memory.

-->

2. Forever Angel 2

A.N: Thanks to all of you who reviewed and enjoyed! It means so much to me. I'm sorry for all the tears also! I should have put up a warning: Kleenex box will be needed! Anyway, here's the second part. The 3rd will take longer since I'm still writing it. Remember, this fic was only meant to be one chapter but I thought it might be a bit long so I'm splitting it up. Enjoy and review please!

Forever Angel

"Harry ..." Hermione breathed, her eyes fluttering shut.

Harry ran his tongue against her stomach, his hands tangled with hers above her head. He looked up. "What?"

She opened her eyes and looked at him, his eyes dark with love and desire. She was about to tell him to stop, against her will, but then he moved his lips up higher and she suddenly couldn't talk. She untangled her fingers from his and slid them in his hair, the soft strands sliding through the cracks. He looked up and smirked at her. "Speechless?" he asked.

Hermione placed her hands on his face and brought his lips down to hers, wanting to make him just as speechless. His lips were soft and smooth, sliding over hers perfectly.

They pulled away for air, both breathless and flushed. He then moved down her chin and down her throat, his hands caressing down her body as he went.

"Harry ..." she struggled to get out, her whole body tingling from the inside out. "We should stop."

He placed a soft kiss on her lips. "You're right," he agreed, disappointed but not angry. He rolled off of her and settled down on his back, pulling her close to him. He kissed the top of her head as it came to rest under his chin, her arms wrapping around him protectively.

"It's getting harder and harder to stop," he commented. Though they slept togethet they hadn't actually slept together. That intimate action in a relationship was sacred to both of them and they didn't want to cross that line until they were actually ready. "But this is worth the wait. I love you too much to disrespect your wishes," he added.

Hermione looked up, surprised. "You what?"

Harry looked at her and smiled softly. "I love you, Hermione. I know it took me a while to say that I love you but I hope you knew that I did."

Hermione nodded thoughtfully and snuggled back into him. Though he hadn't directly said he loved her she had known from the very beginning that he did. He had shown her in small, intimate ways. And though she had known, hearing him say the words threw her off guard. "I love you too, Harry," she said, hugging him tightly.

"I shouldn't have waited so long," he continued. "I shouldn't take the time we have together for granted because it could be taken away. So, from now on, I will tell you I love you every day for as long as I live."

With this, tears welled up in Hermione's eyes and she looked up to kiss him softly. "Harry ... That was beautiful," she told him.

Harry just shrugged. "It's true. Besides, I can be romantic," he said with a smirk.

Hermione grinned. "Wow, every witch must be incredibly jealous of me. Romantic, strong, handsome ..."

"Don't forget brave, intelligent, fierce ..." Harry added with mock arrogance.

Hermione looked surprised. "Oh, Harry dear, I'm sorry! I was talking about Draco, not ... Oh, you must feel so embarrassed, thinking I was talking about you ..." She shook her head and tutted.

"Hey!" he cried and suddenly she found herself on her back, Harry on top of her and his fingers digging into her sides. "You'll pay for that!"

Hermione laughed and tried to push him away. "Okay, mercy!" she shouted between gasps of laughter. "Mercy! Mercy!"

He stopped briefly. "Say 'Harry Potter is the best.'"

Hermione snorted and rolled her eyes, causing her to be assaulted by another round of ticklish attacks. "Okay! I'll say it!"

Harry stopped and smirked, "You can't beat the manly Harry Potter," he said in a fake deep voice, waiting for her to repeat it. Instead, he found himself thrown on his back with Hermione straddling his hips. She held on to his wrists and held them above his head. She leaned down until their lips were only inches apart, her hair spilling out around them like a silky curtain. "I win," she whispered seductively and kissed him long and slow.

When she pulled away, Harry remained in the same position, utterly dazed. "Harry?"

"From now on, you can win all the time."

+ + +

"Hermione! Hermione!"

She heard her name from far away, felt hands shaking her, but she didn't really want to wake from whatever she was in. Whatever she had fallen in was too real, too perfect to be only a memory. She wanted to savor it just a little longer ...

"Hermione!"

With a start she realized it was Ron who sounded panicked and scared. It was Ron's arms shaking her farntically. She willed herself to pull away from the lost memory and opened her eyes.

"Oh God, Hermione ..." Ron breathed, his face pale and eyes wide.

Hermione blinked and found that her cheeks were wet with her own tears. She had a death grip on Harry's pillow and slowly let it go, falling back on the bed. She looked up at Ron, who was still holding her by the arms. "Ron? What happened?"

Ron hugged her tightly, something he would not have normally done in the past, and seemed to release a breath he had been holding. "You don't know? I was just standing by the closet and I asked you a question. When you didn't answer I looked back and you were on the bed, crying. You looked like you were hurting, your face was screwed up, and you were clutching the pillow like a life raft."

Confusion washed over her. "Hurting? No, I didn't feel anything ..." She looked around her and suddenly shivered, goose bumps appearing on her arms.

"Okay, that's it. You're going to see Madam Pomfrey," Ron told her, standing up.

"What? No!" Hermione cried, crossing her arms across her chest and staying put. "I'm not going to the Hospital Wing. There isn't anything wrong with me!" Though she said this loud and clear, she felt some fear prickle up her spine. What did happen to her? She wasn't on to normally faint, in fact, she had never fainted in her life. Besides, what she knew of the symptoms, she did not faint. But that memory ... She remembered that night as clearly as if it was just the night before. But it had felt so real, like she was actually there ... With Harry...

She shook her head, dismissing that before she began to cry again.

"Hermione, something happened here. You didn't see yourself! You scared me half to death! Now come on, I'm taking you to the Hospital Wing whether you want to go or not." He grabbed her arm and forced her up.

"Fine," she resented, feeling like a five-year-old. She shook off Ron's arm and marched out of the room, into the Common Room (ignoring everyone's curious looks), and out the portrait door. With a sigh, Ron rushed after her.

"Hermione!" he called, not having to go far to reach her. She didn't stop walking and looked straight ahead. "Will you stop a moment?" he asked, exasperated.

"What?" she snapped, finally stopping to face him. She had no idea was she was acting so immature and angry, and with a sudden jolt, she felt guilty.

"Why are you so angry at me?" he questioned, irritation creeping into his voice. "I just want to make sure you're okay. That scared me and I couldn't ... I can't lose you too," he said quietly, looking away.

Hermione's face softened. She wrapped her arms around Ron, guilty for acting like such a prat when she was not the only one hurting. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm being so rude. I shouldn't take out my aggression on you. I'm sorry."

Ron nodded and pulled away slightly. They smiled at each other and continued walking. "You know, we've gotten really good at ending our rows without having Harry to separate us," Ron commented, after a moment of silence.

Hermione laughed, something she hadn't done in a while, but Ron noticed how it was laced with sadness. "You're right. Hmm ... Harry would be proud," she replied, his name sending a pang to her heart.

They reached the Hospital Wing and Ron pushed open the door, revealing a large room with beds lined against the white walls. Madame Pomfrey saw them walking in and hurried over. "Anything wrong?" she asked them, looking them over.

She led them over to an empty bed as Ron explained everything and closed the curtains around them. "Has this happened before?" she asked Hermione, looking mildly concerned.

"No, I don't think so."

Madame Pomfrey nodded then turned to Ron. "Mr. Weasley please wait outside, I need to check Miss Granger over. I will send for you when I am done."

Ron nodded, gave Hermione a reassuring smile and left, the door closing with a soft click. Madame Pomfrey asked her to lie down and pulled out her wand. She moved it up and down Hermione's body and when nothing happened she put it away.

"Well, Miss Granger, you don't seem ill but I think I know what happened to you. You said that while you were out you went back to a memory of yours with Mr. Potter in it, correct? You said it felt real and when you awoke you didn't know what had happened. Am I right?"

Hermione nodded, nervous knots tightening in her stomach. She was twisting Harry's promise ring to her around her finger without realizing it.

"Sometimes, when a loved one dies they try to make contact with you. This usually happens when the one who is living needs help in some way; be it physical or emotional." The nurse peered at the young girl. She noticed how thin Hermione looked, the dark circles under her eyes, eyes that seemed dull and dead. She noticed how pale she looked, how desolate. "Hermione, why are you doing this to yourself?"

She shook her head. "I have nothing, no one to live for." Her voice was emotionless. "My parents are gone, Harry ..." she choked here. "My Harry is gone ... I have nowhere to go after I graduate. No family ..."

"You have Ron, the Weasleys, and Professor Dumbledore. You can't leave those who love you because then they would feel how you feel now. If Harry is trying to contact you in some way then it's for a reason. Don't you think he would want you to be happy?"

Hermione looked away and didn't answer. The one person who had always been there for her was now gone and she didn't want to live without him. The world seemed empty without him there beside her.

She heard Madame Pomfrey sigh and when Hermione turned to look at her, she saw Ron walking towards. Sudden guilt washed over her as his reassuring smile came nearer. She couldn't leave him; he had lost one best friend already.

"Hey," he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed and taking her hand. The Ron in the past would never have been as affectionate as this Ron was but situations and tragedy change people.

"Hey," she repeated quietly.

"So Harry is trying to get through to you, is he?" he grinned. "That would be like him. Still wanting to look after those he loves even after death."

Hermione couldn't agree more and she suddenly felt a little better. Though Harry was gone, he was still with her, in her heart. He was still looking over her, ready to be of help whenever she needed him.

Madame Pomfrey appeared again and looked down at the two friends. "I would like you to stay the night, Miss Granger, just so I may observe your sleeping habits. In the morning, if everything is all right, you may go."

Hermione nodded, too exhausted to argue, and the nurse left them two alone.

She heard Ron clear his throat and turned to him. "Hermione, you're going to be okay. We're going to be okay. Please don't think you don't have a family because my family and I would gladly let you stay with us. I love you, okay? Don't leave me."

Tears welled up in her eyes and she averted her eyes. Guilt was her main emotion now and she felt selfish for acting as if she had nothing to live for. She lifted her gaze to meet his. "I'm sorry," she said in barely a whisper.

Ron seemed confused for a moment and reached out to pull her into a hug. Ron knew she was suffering more than any of them and he felt powerless to help her. "You have nothing to be sorry for, love."

He felt Hermione nod. "Yes, I do. I'm sorry for being so selfish. I'm not the only one suffering and I shouldn't even be thinking about not living when I have all of you who love me."

Ron was a bit shocked at hearing her hidden meaning of wanting to kill herself but knew she would do no such thing now. "I think, Hermione, that if you did decide to leave us, Harry would try to kill you all over again when you got up there." he joked, knowing Harry would go ballistic at the thought of Hermione killing herself.

She pulled away from him and gave him a small smile. "You're right. I never thought I would live to see the day when you would be putting me in my place."

Ron laughed then stood up, noticing how tired she looked. "I think I better let you get some rest." He helped her lay down and tucked the covers around her. "I'll come by later with some food. You need to be ready for tomorrow."

Tomorrow. Graduation. She had almost forgotten.

He kissed her on the forehead and with one last glance, left the room, leaving Hermione to slip into a troubled sleep.

+ + +

Hermione let her eyes fall shut as Harry's hand continued to make a trail up and down her arm softly. They were on the couch in front of the fireplace; Harry sitting reading a book on wand less magic and Hermione laying there on her side, her head in his lap. The only sound in the room was the fire crackling in the hearth.

It was a peaceful moment, one that they would not be able to have again for a long time. The war with Voldemort was coming to a head and everyone was tense and alert, waiting for an attack at any moment.

Hermione's eyes opened as a firm knock interrupted their silence. Harry looked down at her, his expression surprised. The only person who ever came into their quarters was Ron but it couldn't be him because he was serving detention with Dean and Filch.

"Come in!" he called, turning his head to see Professor McGonagall standing just inside the room. Harry was so surprised to see her (especially at this time at night seeing as it was almost eleven) that he didn't say anything.

Hermione sat up to see who it was. "Professor McGonagall! Is something wrong?" she asked.

Minerva almost didn't want to disturb the two students seeing as they were so comfortable and relaxed. No one in the wizarding world had been able to take a breather since Voldemort made himself known again, especially those two.

She cleared her throat and turned to Hermione. "The Headmaster would like to see you in his office. It is urgent."

Hermione's heart seemed to sink to the bottom of her stomach and she turned to stare at Harry who took her hand in his and squeezed it gently. "May I -"

"You may join her, Mr. Potter but you must come with me right away," she cut in, already making her way out the door.

Harry and Hermione stood up in a hurry and followed her out, through the Gryffindor Common Room (which was gratefully empty) and out into the dim lit corridor. Minerva walked briskly in front of them, her back straight and rigid.

Hermione was enveloped in dread with each step she took, her hand closed tightly around Harry's. They walked in silence but the way Harry was walking so close to her showed his need to comfort her even in his own confusion.

Before Hermione knew it they were standing outside of Dumbledore's office, his voice calling them in.

"Miss Granger, Mr. Potter, welcome," he said kindly, though the ever present twinkle in his eyes was gone. He motioned for them to sit across from him and offered them a lemon drop, which they both declined.

"Miss Granger, something has happened," he began, folding his hands in front of him and leaning slightly forward. "You're parents were attacked late last night."

Hermione's eyes went wide the question she knew the answer to on the tip of he tongue. "Are they ... Are they okay?"

Albus shook his head gently. "No, Hermione, I'm afraid they didn't make it. I am so sorry. Members of the Order were too late. The Death Eaters had done their job and left."

Hermione didn't know what to think or what to do. She was in a nightmare she couldn't wake up from and she felt as if she was falling, her landing dark and uncertain.

"I ... I ..." Tears clouded her vision and she looked up at the wizard angrily. "I don't believe you!" she cried, too horrified to care.

Dumbledore stood up and came around his desk to stand in front of her. "I know how hard this is to hear. I know you don't want to believe it but we are going through a time where uncertainty could be deadly. Hermione, listen to me, your parents died with honor. They were afraid, of course, but their only concern was you. They knew what could happen to them but they did not want to pull you out of this school knowing it was like a second home to you. They knew what Harry and Ron meant to you, so they let you stay.

"I spoke with them when Voldemort's tirades began and they knew the consequences but they only feared for you safety and happiness. They --"

Before he could continue she jumped to her feet, tears pouring down her face and hands shaking beside her. She shook her head, staring from Dumbledore to Harry, who had been just as shocked. "No," she whispered, a tone so calm it was scary. With that she pushed past them and ran out of the office, leaving Harry and Dumbledore in a deafening silence.

After a moment, Harry spoke up, his voice angry and resentful. "Wasn't there anything you could do to protect them?"

Dumbledore turned his gaze to the young wizard and shook his head sadly. "The Grangers did not want to leave their home, they chose to stay there. We placed charms around the house but they were strong enough, especially in a Muggle neighborhood. And we could not have members of the Order stay there because the neighbors would get suspicious.

"Harry, we did what we could, and even now it does not seem like we did enough. We must focus on the now and the future. You must be with Hermione because in times of grief people do irrational things."

Harry nodded despite his anger. He had done such things when Sirius had died. He began to walk towards the door. "What will happen with the funeral?" he asked, not turning to face Dumbledore.

"I will discuss that with Hermione when she is ready to discuss it." He placed a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder. "She needs you now."

+ + +

"Hermione?" Her name echoed through the small common room, its emptiness sending chills down Harry's spine. He went over to her closed door and knocked, waiting for an answer. When none came, he opened it slowly, only to find the room empty.

He was beginning to worry. He had first gone outside near the lake but she had not been out there, then the library, and now her bedroom. The last place he could think of was his bedroom.

"Hermione?" he tried again, opening the door to his room. He found her curled up on his bed, her face to the wall. Her eyes were open but unseeing as tears made their slow trek down her face unnoticed.

His heart felt as if it were breaking. Knowing in how much pain she must be in, all he wanted to do was grab his wand and storm down Voldemort and his cronies right then and there. A small sob brought him back to the present and he walked over to her, tentatively sitting down next to her on the bed.

He placed a hand on her arm, expecting her to either ignore him or curl up in his arms but what she did surprised him. She shrugged his hand off and sat up abruptly. "Don't touch me." Her voice came out in a whisper, cold and dejected.

He withdrew his hand as if he had been burned. "What?" He stayed where he was, watching as she stood up and stepped away from him. She was angry, he could tell, he didn't blame her in the least. Even if she was angry with him.

She turned to him then, her eyes flashing with anger and grief. "This is all your fault," she hissed, the tears now gone.

Harry stood up, and though he hadn't been expecting her to blame him since he usually did that, he let her knowing she had to get all her emotions out. He went over to her, close enough where he could touch her but didn't.

She continued on, not waiting for him to speak. "If I had never met you, never became your friend, your girlfriend, Voldemort would not have been after my parents because he would not know who they were. He would not have had a reason to kill them." She had come closer to him as she spoke, now only feet away.

"They would be alive if I didn't know you. Why did you have to save me from that bloody troll? Why couldn't you have just left me there? Why don't you leave me alone now?"

Harry knew it was her grief talking, knew Hermione didn't mean anything she was saying but he did not shout back at her. "Because I love you," he whispered, making no move to touch her.

"Well stop!" she cried, punching his chest with both fists. Angry tears were falling down her cheeks as she continued to hit him with every force in her body. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" she screamed this over and over again, not stopping her attack on him and he let her hit him.

"I know, baby," was all he kept saying, tears springing to his eyes. Finally, her energy and strength gave way and she slumped against him, her face buried in his chest. She was sobbing, asking for help.

Harry wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. He didn't tell her everything would be okay; he didn't whisper soothing words in her ear. He buried his face in her hair and cried with her.

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3. Forever Angel 3

A.N: Here's the 3rd part. Not much to say just THANK YOU to all who read and reviewed and please do the same for this chapter!

I'm going to go for a happy memory since I've reduced all of you to tears. : ) the memories don't necessarily fit with the present time but I think they fit in pretty nicely. Any objections just let me know. I am also thinking of putting the memories in order after the fic is done but we'll see.

Forever Angel

Harry had learned early on in age not to take things for granted because with a Dark annoying Wizard on your tail you never knew when your time would be up. Friends became that much more sacred, school became that much more important, and life became that much more precious. So, as he lay there with Hermione's head nestled under his chin and her hair soft on his cheek, he knew with the least bit hesitation that this moment was the right time. Without a doubt in his mind, he knew she was it; she was his one and only.

He chuckled silently as he realized how absurd it might sound for him to be thinking about such a commitment and such a love. Normal seventeen-year-old boys would be 'playing the field' not ready to settle down with one girl. Then again, Harry had never once in his life been normal and he was now grateful for that. He found it funny at how, just a couple of years ago, he had yearned to be normal, to lead a normal life. But now he knew that if he had been born normal he would never have met the beautiful woman curled next to him fast asleep.

Instead of complaining about his destiny involving Voldemort, he counted himself lucky. Yes, he didn't know how much longer he had to live, if he would live to attend his own wedding, or even just graduate, but he knew that with Hermione and Ron and so many others that were loyal to him and Dumbledore that he would get through this one way or another and give Hermione a world safe enough to live in; with or without him.

Harry kissed the top of her curly head and wrapped his arm around her more tightly. If someone had told him, only a year ago, that he would be madly in love (with his best friend, no less) he would have reported them to St. Mungos. But he was madly in love with his best friend and thought the feeling the best in the world.

The reason for his thoughts stirred and he found her warm brown eyes staring up at his own. She smiled a radiating smile. "Good morning, Handsome," she whispered, stifling a yawn.

"Hey, sleepy head," was his reply as she sat up, stretching her arms over her head.

"What time is it?" she asked him, reaching down to give him a kiss before wrinkling her nose. "I must have awful morning breath."

Harry laughed, sitting up himself. "Just a bit," he commented, throwing her a sly look.

Hermione's face pulled on a shocked expression and she threw a pillow at him when he burst into laughter.

"Hermione, I would kiss you even if you had warts lining your lips," he told her, quite serious.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Now you're just lying!" She shook her head and stood up, making her way to the restroom and giving Harry quite a view with the long t-shirt of his she was wearing and only underwear underneath.

"I am not!" he cried indignantly, only half listening to his own words since Hermione's bum still hadn't disappeared from his view.

She reached the door and before shutting it, poked her head out and said, "Stop staring at my butt!" with a silly grin on her face.

Harry laughed but once the door was firmly shut behind her, he sprang up from the bed. Kneeling on the ground to pull his trunk out from under his bed, he pushed it open and pulled out what he was looking for. As the shower was turned on, he grabbed his wand and waved it in the air, the room instantly cleaning itself. The bed was made, their clothes picked up from the ground, and the curtains opened, letting bright sunlight spill into the dormitory and brightening it up.

The shower shut off and Harry hurriedly grabbed a piece of parchment and quill. He wrote:

My Hermione,

Up for a scavenger hunt? If you want to find me you must follow the clues and then answer a question that has been asked since the beginning of time.

First clue: Go to the place where stories are told about the past, future, and even the present. You can escape from the world and venture into another reality. Another clue is waiting for you there.

-- Your Harry

He went to the middle of the room, muttered a sticking charm to hold the letter in the air where she would see it, and grabbing his broom, rushed out of the room.

Since he had placed the other clues last night, he rushed over to the Great Hall to find Ron there, stuffing his face as if there were no tomorrow.

"Hey mate," Ron greeted him as Harry sat down next to him. "What's up?"

"Okay, all the clues are in order and now all that is left is the Quidditch Pitch. Did you do it?" he asked Ron in a rush.

Ron stared blankly at him as he swallowed his food. "Did I do what?"

Harry blanched. "What! Ron! You were supposed to secure the Quidditch Pitch and make sure no one shows up!" He sounded clearly panicked.

Ron's face broke into a grin and he laughed. "I know, Harry. I was just messing with your head. Everything is good to go."

Harry glared at him, wanting to strangle him, but there was no time. The charm would take a while and Hermione was a smart witch, she would figure out each clue in no time. "You are so dead," he said instead.

"Yeah, yeah. Now hurry, you know how much Hermione strives for a challenge. She'll be running in here in no time."

Harry nodded and before sprinting for the door he said, "Remind me to thank you."

Ron just grinned as he watched his best friend run for the heavy oak doors and disappear into the bright sun.

+ + +

Meanwhile, Hermione was peering at herself in the bathroom mirror, ignoring the snide comments the mirror was throwing at her. She pointed her wand to her hair and muttered a drying spell, her hair bouncing into its curls in a matter of seconds.

"Harry, you think we could go to Hogsmead tomorrow? I need to by some new robes ..." The silence on the other side of the door made her stop. "Harry?" she tried again, opening the door and stepping out. She looked around the room to find it empty when she spotted the piece of paper floating in air.

Reading it, she smiled. She hadn't known Harry was planning anything and she really couldn't think of the occasion but she decided to play along anyway. Reading the clue, her smile grew. "The library," she answered out loud with a laugh. "That was an easy one, Harry."

She put her wand in her back pocket and put on some shoes. When her stomach growled she looked at the time, knowing everyone would be in the Great Hall for breakfast. She exited the room and out the common room, the hallway deserted.

Entering the library she met eyes with Madam Pince who motioned her over. Silently, the librarian handed Hermione a piece of paper. "From Mr. Potter," was all she said and went back to the book she had been reading.

Moving away from Madame Pince, she read the next clue.

My Hermione,

That was easy, wasn't it? I knew you would get that one.

Second clue: A place for each person, shifting to accommodate your needs and desires. Used for secret meetings of the brave and sneaky.

Good luck!

-- Your Harry

Hermione lowered her arm and thought. The only place she could think of was the Room of Requirement. She grinned. "Really challenging, Harry," she mumbled with a roll of her eyes. Moving on she exited the library and headed down the hall. When she came to the tapestry of Barnabas the Balmy, she stopped, not having a clue as to why she needed the room, therefore making the door appear. She decided to just think of Harry and she walked past the blank white wall three times, hoping the door would appear. After the third time the door did reveal itself and she sighed in relief.

She stepped inside and gasped. One side of the room held a white bed with a canopy over it and a couch in one corner with a dresser. It was a whole bedroom set ... On the other side was a miniature doll set that included a church and a home.

Looking up she saw hundreds of bubbles floating in the air. Noticing the shapes she laughed. They were shaped in hearts and question marks. As a heart floated right above her head she reached up and poked it with her finger. It popped and tiny confetti sprinkled down on top of her. She laughed, looking around for the next clue. Just then, a particularly big bubble in a question mark shape floated in front of her and popped. Along with the confetti, a piece of paper fell in her hand.

My Hermione,

You are just too smart for this game. I knew you would like the bubbles -- You should have seen Ron. I had to practically drag him out of the room. Well, I won't keep you waiting.

Third Clue: A place of memories and long walks. A place that is serene for studying students, great for wet kisses, and just right for snow ball fights. A friend of ours likes to partake in the fun at times too.

-- Your Harry

Hermione had to read this one a couple of times before she realized he was talking about the lake, the area around it, and their friend was the giant squid. She chuckled, heading out of the room with a last glance and down the hallway. As she reached the Great Hall, she found many of the students still there, either still eating or just relaxing before the Quidditch game that afternoon. She spotted Ron talking animatedly with Dean Thomas and Neville Longbottom and stuffing his face with what looked like his fourth plate of bacon, eggs, and pancakes.

"Hi guys," she greeted them, sitting down for a minute. She grabbed a toast and ate it quickly.

"Hey Hermione. What's up?" Ron asked, stopping his conversation with the guys.

"Do you know anything about this scavenger hunt?" she asked him, though she knew he did because of Harry's last clue.

"The one where Harry hid clues in certain places and you follow them until you reach his destination?" Hermione nodded, hopefully. "Nope, I don't have a clue."

She sighed with frustration. "Yes, you do!" she cried, cringing as Ron stuffed the bacon and pancakes in his mouth all at once.

Ron looked at her and shrugged. "Okay, then I do."

"Ugh! Fine, forget it!" she stood up and began to walk away, mumbling something about Ron being an annoying prat.

Ron grinned after her. "Good luck!" he called with a chuckle, before going back to his breakfast.

Hermione shook her head as she pushed open the doors and stepped outside in sunshine. She lifted her face to let the sun warm her before heading over to the tree they always sit at near the lake. There, the clue was charmed to the tree.

My Hermione,

Took you a few tries for this one, huh? This is the last clue.

Fourth clue: A place I go when I need to get away from the world. Clouds and birds become my company unless I'm playing competitively.

Keep your eyes on the paper as you walk and don't lift them until you are told. Come find me, love.

-- Your Harry

Hermione knew he was at the Quidditch Pitch instantly. She headed in that direction, keeping her eyes lowered. When she reached a certain spot the word "Stop" permeated through her mind and she did just that, her eyes still lowered. "Look up," Harry's voice filled her head and she slowly brought her head up. She gasped as her eyes took in the scene.

In the middle of the pitch, in the sky, were the words, "Will you marry me?" formed with clouds. Her eyes filled with tears and she looked around for Harry, finding him no where in sight.

"Behind you," Harry told her softly.

She turned around to find him standing there looking adorably nervous and confident all at once. He took her hands in his gently, his eyes never leaving hers. He leaned in and kissed her softly before taking a deep breath.

"Everyone believes my destiny is to defeat Voldemort, help the Wizarding World, but my destiny is only with you. I want to wake up every morning to the feel of you in my arms, to your beautiful smile. With you by my side everything seems brighter and easier. Everything seems possible. I have never known someone like you, love. You're so incredibly amazing. You have been with me through the think and thin, the bad and good, the happiness and pain. I have never known such love and the one you give me day in and day out blows me away. You surprise me each and every day and I want to get to know you more and more every day for the rest of our lives.

"Will you take my hand and never let go? Will you marry me, Hermione?" He was down on one knee, the black velvet box held out and open, revealing the ring of her dreams.

Tears were flowing freely down her face as she kneeled down in front of him. "Do you even have to ask?" was her response.

Harry's grin couldn't have been any wider and he slipped the ring easily onto her finger. When he had done that, Hermione threw herself at him, knocking them both over onto the grass, and as they rolled to the side, Hermione found herself on her back with Harry on top of her.

He kissed her long and soft, his heart light and beating with happiness. "I love you so much," she whispered, staring up at him.

Harry pulled a surprised face. "Really? I thought you agreed to marry me because of my money!"

Hermione punched him lightly on his chest but couldn't help but burst into laughter. She was so happy she felt as if she were going to burst. She looked up at Harry as he stared down at her with so much love it left her breathless.

"I love you too, baby," he said softly, coming down for another kiss that was the beginning of many.

+ + +

Hermione was startled awake to a room awash in sunlight. She sat up to the realization that she was crying and that Madame Pomfrey was smoothing down her hair and making soft, cooing noises.

"You had another one, Hermione," she told her, stepping slightly away from the bed to wave her wand along Hermione's body.

"When will he stop trying to get through to me?" she asked, pushing away her sweat matted hair. In a way, she wanted the memories to stop because they were a reminder of what was and what was no more. Of what she had and of what she had lost. But then she didn't want him to stop because for the few moments she was out, she was back into those days where love consumed her in every way. She was back in his arms and his love.

Madame Pomfrey shook her head. "The deceased usually stop when they feel you don't need them any longer."

"That will never happen."

The nurse sighed. "Hermione, you need to move on not just for yourself but for Harry also. Live the life he never had a chance to. Live for him and be happy for him. All he wants is for you to be happy, his contact shows that. He feels he has to save you from yourself and pull you out of hurting yourself. And until you realize that the only way to move is forward, you will be miserable."

"Can I leave?" was all she said, ignoring her pleads.

She stared at the young girl with sadness. With a nod of her head she dismissed Hermione watching her until she disappeared behind the door with a click that resounded throughout the room.

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