Their Seventh Year

1. On the Hogwarts Express

Chapter 1- On the Hogwart's Express

Lily kissed her Mum and Dad good-bye and tried to look as thought she was sad as she walked, for the seventh and last time, through the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10 at King's Cross Station. She would miss her parents, truly, but she was relieved the summer holidays were over. Her sister Petunia had gone from unpleasant to outright unbearable. About to be married, threats from their parents no longer kept Petunia in line, she took the opportunity to at least whisper "freak" every time Lily was within hearing, and that was only when she couldn't think of anything more offensive to say.

Lily went toward the barrier, carefully glancing around to make sure no one was looking directly at her, and rather than smashing headfirst into the wall, she kept walking, and another platform appeared in front of her, bustling with people, many dressed in clothes that would look decidedly odd on the other side of the barrier. Before her stood a vast scarlet steam engine, and she felt an immense sense of satisfaction as she looked at it. She sometimes wondered where she belonged, but she knew she was closer to belonging at Hogwart's than anywhere.

Lily's eyes traveled over the students on the platform, easily picking out the first years, by their looks of pure terror or false bravado, and she was amazed by how young they were. Am I really so old?

She might have gone on standing there indefinitely, but someone ran into her hard from behind, and she staggered forward.

"Oy, sorry! Oh, hey Evans!"

She knew that voice, and the very handsome boy who owned it. Sirius Black was rich, spoiled, incredibly good-looking…and a complete jackass as far as Lily was concerned. The only thing that made him more tolerable than his best mate was that he was not constantly asking her out. He was too busy making his way through the rest of Hogwart's female population. He was grinning at her, and although she had to admit he was attractive, she couldn't feel anything but aesthetic appreciation.

"All right Evans?" He gave her a cheeky wink. "I know someone who's going to be pretty glad to see you! All summer it's been "Evans this" and "Evans that", and- hey, where's McKinnon?"

"I don't know, if you'll excuse me…" She pushed her cart toward the train, not wanting to run into Potter and irritated by Black's short attention span.

"Hey there Lily!" Another voice called her name, more welcome this time, and she turned to see Gideon Prewett . He was in seventh year as well, but in Ravenclaw- he was popular, and a reasonably good quidditch player, but definitely one of the smartest boys in the school. He'd been in line for Head Boy, and she hoped he was, he would be easy to work with. "Congrats on getting Head Girl."

"Thanks. Are you-"

"Nah, just missed it."

"Oh, I'm sorry Gideon."

"Don't be, I'm not. I actually really wanted to focus on my NEWTS anyway. I want to go into Auror training and they ask for lots."

"You'd be a fantastic Auror." She said honestly. "Do you know who it is then?"

"I haven't heard. I'd guess Remus Lupin."

Lily thought that wouldn't be bad, she actually quite liked him, although she could never figure out why he chose to hang around with gits like Potter and Black. Still, he was quiet, thoughtful, intelligent- a good choice for Head Boy, she decided.

======

Having stowed their trunks and claimed a compartment for themselves, James Potter and his best mate hopped back off the train to bid good-bye to his parents.

"Thank you so much for everything, Mr. and Mrs. Potter." Sirius wore an earnest expression, unusual for him, as he was trying to impress upon them how much he really did appreciate their letting him stay. James had to admit his friend was a class act when he wanted to be…it was just so rare he wanted to be.

"It's no trouble at all Dear." His mother insisted, patting Sirius's cheek fondly, and then giving them both a stern look. "Now both of you behave yourselves this year. I don't want a single owl from Dumbledore -not one- telling me you've exploded something or disfigured some poor first year, or-"

The train was beginning to steam from the engine, and James kissed his Mum on the cheek and shook hands with his Dad.

"I mean it James Potter!" She called after him as they both hopped on the train, but she wasn't managing to look very stern anymore, but instead looked near to crying. It was the same every time her only son left for school again, even though he was seventeen and a man in his own right now.

Back on the train, James joined his friends in their compartment, though he barely sat down before Sirius remarked "Oh James? Don't you have to go to the special car with all the other teacher's pets? Otherwise known as the "no fun, goody-goody, brown noser" compartment?"

James chose to ignore this, knowing the entire year as Head Boy was going to let him in for endless harassment from his friends and he might as well get used to it. He glanced at Remus Lupin, who had been prefect for two years and thus come under the same kind of fire. He got an unsympathetic shrug and "better you than me Prongs."

James stretched out his legs and announced "This is it gentlemen, this is the year."

Sirius rolled his eyes. Peter looked curious. "What year?"

"I'm glad you asked Wormtail." Sirius groaned and gave Peter a neat slap in the back of the head. James ignored this and went on. "This is the year Lily Evans is finally going to realize that she loves me."

"Taken to drinking over the summer, have you?" Remus questioned mildly, not looking terribly impressed by the announcement.

"And I'll tell you how I know she's going to realize it." He continued, as though one of them had asked. "At the end of last year, when she would tell me to leave her alone, she would call me a prat, or a git. She's warming to me." He crossed his arms and gave them all a dazzling smile.

"How do you figure that?" Even Sirius, in his relentless optimism as far as women were concerned, could not see how name-calling constituted warming up.

"Well, she used to call me a stupid prat, or and arrogant prat." James explained, looking very satisfied with himself.

"True love, blossoming before our eyes." Said Remus dryly.

"So really, all I have to do is use our duties as head boy and girl to get closer to Evans." He scooted over in his seat towards Sirius, as though demonstrating how "getting closer" would work. Sirius, only too glad to play the part of "Evans" in this little fantasy, laid his head on James' shoulder and batted his eyes flirtatiously. "And she will no longer be able to resist my charms."

"You're a little too good at acting feminine there Padfoot, what have you two been doing this summer?"

At this suggestion, Sirius jumped up from his seat and launched himself across the compartment to pummel his friend, and James took this opportunity to leave, as he actually did have to report to the front car to organize the new prefects and get instructions.

Most of the fifth year prefects were there already, as well as-

"Evans!" James boomed as he entered. She turned in surprise and then her green eyes narrowed. He noted happily she looked even prettier than he remembered.

"You can't be in here Potter, it's only for the Head boy and girl and the prefects."

"Right." he nodded and took a seat, smiling up at her. She looked outraged.

"I said you can't be in here." She repeated.

"You said it's for the heads and prefects."

"Yes."

"Right."

She opened her mouth to say something again, and then snapped it shut. "Oh no." She said after a minute.

"Oh yes Evans."

"It can't be you, it has to be Remus, or Gideon, or-"

"It should be Remus." James admitted, wanting to give his friend due credit. "But he wasn't feeling well during exams last year. As it were, he didn't really want the job anyway. So it's me and you Evans." he looked around at the fifth years, one boy and one girl from each house. "Shall we get started? Hm, Head boy and Girl both from Gryffindor. Not hard to tell which house is superior, huh?"

He winked at the prefect for Gryffindor, Maureen O'Connor, who turned a deep shade of red. The others glowered at him but seemed too intimidated to actually say anything. Lily ignored him, and while she gave the prefects their assignment, which was to patrol the corridors and make sure no one got hurt or hexed on the way to school, he got to enjoy watching her be angry. It brought a pretty flush to her cheeks and sparks to her eyes.

======

Lily was still fuming when she sent the prefects off, and Potter gave her a little mock salute and swaggered out......he was so...arrogant. If there was one person in the school she did not want to deal with on a day-to-day basis, it was Potter. Looking for someone to vent to, she left the front car and found two of the other Gryffindor seventh year girls, and two of her closest friends, sitting with a girl from Ravenclaw who they were sometimes friendly with. She stepped in and slammed the compartment door behind her. "Guess who is Head boy?" She said, expecting to shock them.

Flora McKinnon looked up from a chocolate frog card. "James Potter." She replied, calmly.

"What? How'd you know?"

"His mates were in here, they told us." Alice replied quickly, so Lily wouldn't think they'd know about this outrage all along and kept it from her.

"And I heard it wasn't Gideon, so I figured it must be James." Added Lauren Emerson, seemingly not minding that Potter had beat out someone from her own house.

"I don't know why you hate him so much Lil. I think he really does like you, just like any idiot male he can't show it without being a git."

"I can't stand him." She replied vehemently.

"Lily, he's cute, he's smart, he's rich, he's a decent dancer. I think you may want to consider the possibility that your standards are a little too high?" Flora ignored the look Lily gave her. "Well, at any rate you were better off with Potter than with this one." She jerked her head at Alice. "She's going to be no fun at all this year, all she's done so far is sulk about Frank."

"I am not sulking." Said Alice in a dignified voice, though Lily thought it very likely she had been. Her boyfriend had graduated the previous year and had already been hand picked to train as an Auror at the Ministry, and she was understandably depressed she would only see him on holidays or the occasional Hogsmeade week-end. Lily figured she would perk up after she got back into the routine of school, Alice was not one to stay down for long.

The rest of the journey passed uneventfully, Flora and Lauren making most of the conversation since Alice was thinking of Frank and Lily was thinking about the daunting prospect of a whole year dealing with James Potter regularly. Wasn't it bad enough he was in her house and all her classes?

The train pulled into Hogmeade Station as it was just turning from twilight to dark, and Lily and her friends joined the other students spilling off the train. Off to one side, she spotted Sirius Black surrounded by a whole group of first years, and figured that was a situation worth checking out.

"Nah, it's nothing to worry about." She heard him saying as she came closer. "The sorting is no problem, nothing to be nervous about at all. Really easy in fact….I mean, you all do know how to fight a dragon, don't you?"

Their looks of absolute panic pushed Lily to act.

"Sirius Black, you stop that right now! Don't listen to him, it's nothing to do with dragons!" She assured the first years. "You all just go on with that big man over there, he's going to take you to the school." She pointed to the familiar figure of Hagrid, towering over everyone else. While some of the first years looked more afraid of him than they had of the prospect of dragons, they trooped off obediently. She turned back to Black. "That was cruel."

"I was just trying to make your job easier Evans. Keep them scared and in line."

"They're eleven."

"I was eleven once. Look how I turned out." He raised his eyebrows.

Lily wasn't sure if that was meant to be an example or a threat, as she turned away from him and directly into Potter.

"Why Hello Evans. May I accompany you on the ride to school?"

"No." She replied flatly, and brushed past him to get into a carriage with Flora and Alice before he could follow.

He stared after her, and sighed. "She even smells good."

Sirius snorted, and then grabbed his arm. "Let's go Romeo, I'm hungry."

2. Boy Talk and Girl Talk

Disclaimer: (because I forgot it in the last chapter and I highly doubt I’d get sued but you can never be too careful) Harry Potter and all related characters and ideas belong to JK Rowling and I thank her for letting us play with them.

Sorry this chapter is so short.

Chapter 2- Boy Talk and Girl Talk

"You know what I've been thinking?" James said suddenly. All four of the Gryffindor seventh year boys were in their dorm, after the feast, unpacking. Which really meant just dumping everything out of their trunks onto the floor in messy piles. In fact, the floor was littered with clothes, books, sheets of parchment and quills, and various items from Zonkos designed to either explode or emit nasty smells.

"Wouldn't happen to be about Lily Evans, would it?" Said Sirius tiredly. "He's been like this all summer." He added to the other two.

Remus glanced up from the books he was arranging on his desk. "Seriously Prongs, what is it about Evans? There are lots of pretty girls at Hogwarts, I'm sure you could find at least one who doesn't despise you. Is it really Evans, or are you just after a snog that's a challenge?"

"There's just…something about her. If she'd just give me a chance…" He said earnestly. "How do I get her to just give me a chance?"

"Well, you could start by not acting like a prat every time she's around." Remus remarked.

"Aw hell, Moony's going to go all sensitive on us here." Sirius ducked books thrown at him from two different directions.

"I'm listening." James prodded. "How?"

"Well, for starters, stop harassing her all the time."

"I'm not "harassing", I'm being attentive."

"Call her by her first name."

"That's 'Lily' in case you weren't sure mate." Sirius said helpfully.

"Why?"

Remus shrugged. "Girl thing, they seem to prefer it."

"Okay, number one, call her Lily. What else?"

"Well, rather than coming at her from the angle of "how bloody fantastic James Potter is", you might stop flirting with her, and try talking to her."

"How do you mean?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Talking to her Prongs. As in "Hello Lily, how was your day?" or "Say Lily, wasn't that a swell potions lesson?" or "Hey Lily, that was a brilliant answer in History of Magic the other day."

"Or "Excuse me Lily, want to step into the broom closet and shag?" Suggested Sirius.

"Find out what she likes." He continued as though Sirius had not spoken. "Do you actually know anything about her?"

James looked highly affronted. "Of course!"

"Oh? What's her favorite subject?"

"Er…"

"Where's she from?"

"England!" He said triumphantly.

"Uh-huh, where in England?"

"Er…"

"See what I mean?"

"Compliment her. Tell her she's pretty. Girls like that." Peter said unexpectedly. He had no particular expertise where women were concerned.

"But you have to be sincere." Remus added. "Don't just start going on about how she's the most beautiful woman in the world. Keep it simple. Tell her her hair looks nice or she has a pretty necklace on or something."

"Moony, if you're so bloody enlightened as to what women want, why aren't you the one with the reputation of big man on campus? Huh?" Sirius challenged.

Remus raised an eyebrow and replied simply. "I have standards."

======

"What are you working on Alice? You can't possibly have homework, we haven't had any classes yet." Lily asked setting out her uniform for the first day of classes.

"I'm not doing homework. I'm writing a letter."

Flora groaned and drew a pillow over her face. "This is horrible. We're going to know way more about the life of Frank Longbottom than we ever wanted to know. That's all she's going to talk about all year."

Alice rolled her eyes and said nothing.

"I think it's very sweet." Said Emily Sheridan, brushing her hair. Emily was a quiet girl from a muggle family who tended to struggle in classes, but she worked hard. Most times she could be found in a corner of the common room bent over a book. She had been sorted into Gryffindor, and they all knew the sorting hat knew best, but she really felt like she ought to have been in Hufflepuff.

"Well, with Alice obsessing over Frank and Lily obsessing over Potter, you won't think it's sweet for long." Replied Flora darkly.

"I am NOT obsessing over that prat!" Lily fairly screeched.

"To tell the truth Lily, I think you're protesting a little too vehemently." Remarked Alice quietly. As sweet and mild-mannered as she appeared, she was a keen observer.

"She says she hates him, but inside she's secretly thinking-" Flora began swooning theatrically over her bed. "-oh James, James I looooove you. Kiss me James!"

"In fact, it's you who keep bringing him up." Lily continued, calming, pointing an accusing finger at Flora.

"I think you should give him a chance. I think he's cute."

"Well if you're so keen on Potter, maybe you should date him."

Flora looked thoughtful before turning off the light. "Well, maybe I will."

As Lily tried to sleep, she pushed away the thought that if she hated Potter so much, why did it bother her that Flora was interested in him? No, it didn't bother her precisely, she reasoned, it was just that Flora was her friend, her good friend, and when a friend gets mixed up with the likes of James Potter, she's bound to get hurt. Yes, that was it, she was just thinking in the best interests of her friend.

3. Rules of Engagement

Chapter 3- Rules of Engagement

This was not going to be easy, James realized, the next morning at breakfast. He had decided to attempt to put Remus's advice into action. After all, girls seemed to like Remus. Not the way that girls threw themselves at Sirius's feet of course, but then those girls were usually pretty stupid, or pretty and stupid. But the girls Remus seemed to be friendly with were nice, smart girls, and they actually seemed to like talking to him. James didn't just want to snog Lily Evans….not that he would object if the opportunity presented itself.

So rule number one was not to harass her. He pretended not to notice when she entered with her friends. It felt strange, pointedly not looking at her. I ought to say something. I should tell her she looks pretty. No! He reached for more toast, and in order to not look at her, opened his notebook, looking at the notes he had written the night before:

Rules of Engagement Re: Lily Evans

-Do not harass.

-Call her "Lily". Do NOT call her "Evans."

-Do not attempt to discuss any of the following: quidditch, how good I am at quidditch, how good I am in any classes, how I beat her in 2 classes last year.

-Find out things about her. Task for this week: Find out where she is from and what subjects she likes.

-Think of sincere compliments to give her. Practice saying them in sincere manner.

-Do not, under any circumstances, try to talk to her with Sirius present.

"Hey Prongs, what's that you're working on?"

He slammed the notebook shut before Sirius could get a look. "Nothing. Say, what class have we got first?"

Lily had steeled herself for a smirk and some kind of comment from Potter when she walked into the Great Hall that morning. But for once there was no arrogant grin, no fake, overly cheery "You're looking lovely this morning Evans", no asking her out. In fact, he didn't even look in her direction. Well, she thought, good. Maybe he was finally taking the hint. Not even a hint, more like outright rejection.

For once he wasn't joining in the loud chatter of his friends. He appeared to be concentrating on something. She wondered what. She never actually saw him study, though she assumed he must since he get good marks. But he couldn't be studying lessons, they hadn't had any classes yet.

"Hellooooo? Lily?" Flora was waving a piece of paper under her nose. "Schedule?"

"Oh, right, thanks."

Her schedule was very full, she was taking as many NEWT classes as she could- Charms, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, and Herbology. She wasn't really sure what she wanted to do after Hogwart's, but she figured those classes would put her in a good position for whatever he wanted to do. She happened to know Potter had the same schedule, except he had Arithmancy rather than Herbology. She also knew, because the prat never stopped talking about himself, that he wanted to be an Auror, like his father.

Across the table from her, Flora sighed dramatically. "It's never good to start the day with potions."

James didn't have much trouble ignoring Lily through potions. They were brewing a difficult potion, and he had to keep a close eye on the level of the flame and the color of the potion. He didn't particularly like potions, but the Professor, although he wasn't particularly warm or interesting, was fair and knew his potions. And whatever his feelings about Professor Jenner, he knew he needed decent potions grades to make it into Auror training. It was the only thing he'd ever wanted to be. Well, besides a quidditch player of course, but he didn't think his parents would like that one much.

"Oy there, it's turning blue, add the unicorn hair." Sirius said, breaking into his thoughts. Despite the impression he might give, Sirius was near the top of every class. If he ever bothered to crack a book, he'd do even better. There were sides to Sirius that most people didn't see, James knew.

The unicorn hair was added, and their potion bubbled cheerfully, turning just the right color of light blue.

"What is he staring at?" Sirius was looking past his shoulder, and James turned to see Severus Snape glaring at them with cold eyes. Sirius raised his voice. "Keep your eyes on your own potion Snivellus, unless you want to be wearing it."

With a look of utmost loathing, Snape turned back to his old cauldron, and Sirius smirked. As attractive as the idea of dumping a boiling cauldron over Snape was, James didn't think it was a good idea to get in a brawl on the first day. He'd definitely get a howler for that. In any other class, Snape might have retaliated, but the slimy git was actually good at potions.

James felt someone's eyes on him, and looked and saw Lily Evans giving him a dirty look. Damn! He'd forgotten she was within hearing. She hated when he and Sirius picked on Snape, no matter that the nasty Slytherin gave as good as he got. James still remembered that time in fifth year when she'd tried to stick up for Snape. His blood still boiled when he thought about Snape calling her a mudblood. Suddenly the idea of Snape wearing the contents of his cauldron seemed more attractive, but knowing she was watching stopped him.

It was weird, but Potter was acting totally normal, except for acting like she was invisible. Through breakfast, potions, and charms he had been chatting with his friends, acting normal, doing his assignments. In charms he had even addressed a remark to Flora, right next to her, but not a word to her. Well, that was a huge relief. Flora seemed to have forgotten her idea from the night before about dating him, at least, she didn't appear to be flirting with him or anything, and Flora was not usually subtle when she had her sights set on a guy.

They were coming out of lunch when she noticed a small knot of people gathering in the entrance hall. As she got closer, she heard raised voices.

"Rictumsempra!"

"Furnunculus!"

Pushing through the crowd, she found two third year students, one a Slytherin, and one a Gryffindor, facing each other, red faced and furious, while their friends tried to restrain them. Luckily, both of their curses had missed.

"Stop it right this instant!" She said sharply. They were still young enough to be afraid of her, and they did both back down.

"Thirty points from both Slytherin and Gryffindor!" She said firmly. It was time to establish that, as Head Girl, she was not going to put up with fighting in the halls, and she was not going to show favoritism to her own house.

"Thirty!" Cried a fifth year Gryffindor boy called Paul Turner. "C'mon Evans, that practically puts us into negative points on the first day!"

"Is there a problem here?" Came James's voice from behind her. For the first time in her life she was glad to hear it. He could back her up.

"Evans just took thirty points off Gryffindor!" Yelped Turner. Potter raised an inquiring eyebrow at her.

"From Slytherin as well." She explained. "Those two-" The two miscreants were trying to blend back into the crowd. "-were throwing hexes at each other."

"C'mon James, it's thirty points." Turner whined. Lily had half a mind to tell him to shut up or it would be fifty.

"Is that really necessary Evans?" He said reasonably. "It doesn't look like anyone's hurt."

Damn him!

"I. Said. Thirty. Points." She turned on her heel and walked away, ignoring Turner's continued protests behind her.

James settled into a quiet corner of the library, out of sight of everyone else. It looked like he was going be retreating there fairly often. He wasn't going to get any work done in their room, with Peter whining about classes, Remus trying to help him, and Sirius prattling on about girls and quidditch. James found girls and quidditch as interesting as any seventeen-year-old male, but he needed to keep his grades up, and his NEWT classes were shaping up to be pretty tough.

"Potter!"

He looked up, to find Lily Evans standing in front of him. And wow, was she mad. Her voice was low, but definitely dangerous.

"Don't ever do that again!" She hissed.

"Me? What did I do?" He had been pointedly not bothering her all day.

"Questioning my authority in front of other students, that’s what!" She snapped.

James felt his own temper rising. All he'd tried to do was reason with her. After all, they would do better dealing with students if they were liked. And he was willing to bet the Slytherin kid had started that fight anyway. And hadn't he let her have the final decision after all?

"Lighten up Evans! 'Questioning your authority?' You're head girl, not the bloody Minister of Magic!"

"So? That doesn't mean I want to be the one actually keeping order while you get to be the nice guy! I should have known you'd be like this!"

"And just what's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, it's kind of hard to have an authority figure who holds the school record for most detentions served."

It did not seem the time to point out that it was actually Sirius who held that distinction, since he was a close second. Unfortunately, still angry, he fell back on sarcasm.

"Oh please Evans, tell the rest of us what it's like to be perfect. I suppose you've never had a detention."

"I have, I just don't consider it something to be proud of."

Why did she have to be so damn sanctimonious anyway? "You know Evans, you could relax a little. You don't have to be perfect all the time."

"No Potter, actually, I do." The anger had gone from her voice, she just sounded tired, even a little sad? What was with that?

He was about to tell her to get over herself, then he realized what she meant. She did have to be perfect, better than anyone else, to be taken seriously in this world, because she was muggle born. No matter what he did, he would be accepted because he was James Potter. Because he came from an old pureblood family. But she was the first of her family to be a witch, and everyone knew it. She had to prove herself every day, and even when she did people still looked down on her and called her mudblood. James suddenly felt like an enormous prat.

She hitched up her bag and turned, preparing to go.

"Wait, Evans-" She turned back. "Listen. In the future, if I disagree with a punishment you give, I'll wait and talk to you about it in private, instead of in front of everyone."

"Thank you."

"And you were right, you know. That kid Turner is a real pain in the ass."

She gave him a faint, fleeting smile before she walked away.

4. Vulnerable

A few notes:

Thanks for reviewing!

To the person who asked about “Lauren Emerson”- I just made up the name.  I thought she might show up again later in the story but she doesn’t.

Chapter 4- Vulnerable

James had difficulty sleeping that night, as his plan to make Lily fall in love with him had not gotten off to a very good start. Consequently, he was barely dragging himself out of bed by the time his three roommates were dressed and ready to go. He told them to go and he'd meet them in the Great Hall.

He felt slightly cheered this morning, at least compared to the mood he'd been in when he'd gone to bed the night before. After all, it was a new day. She probably would have forgotten all about yesterday. Besides, he'd finally managed to say something right at the end of their conversation, and she had actually smiled at him...

But when he stepped into the Great Hall, all these thoughts fled his mind, as something was clearly wrong. There was not the usual dull roar of hundreds of voices that always accompanied mealtimes at Hogwart's. It was unnaturally silent, the few people who spoke did so in whispers. And the silence was not due to that fact that everyone was eating, since very little of that seemed to be going on. Most of the people James passed as he made his way down the hall were picking at their food or pushing it around their plates unenthusiastically. Nervous, he instinctively looked up at the staff table for the reassuring presence of the Headmaster, but his stomach dropped as he saw that both Dumbledore and Flitwick were missing, and that several of the other teachers looked distinctly distressed.

He slipped into a seat next to Remus, alarmed to see that even Sirius looked slightly shaken. "What's going on?" he whispered. Even the whisper sounded loud in the ringing silence. Wordlessly, Remus handed him the paper.

James didn't need to see any more than the picture on the front page to know what had happened. A smoking ruin that had once been someone's house, and floating above it, a glittering skull with a snake coming from it's mouth. Everyone in the wizarding world now knew what that symbol meant. James didn't need to read the article to know what had happened, but a familiar name caught his eye- Murray. Nathan and Sara Murray are presumed dead in the attack, as are their two younger children Patricia, 9, and Hilary, 4. Their oldest daughter, Nicole, 17, is currently attending Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and was not present at the time of the attack.

His eyes slid to the Ravenclaw table, where the students looked perhaps even paler and more upset than the rest of the hall. Several girls were crying. Nicole Murray was a Ravenclaw Seventh year. He did not know her well, but well enough to exchange a friendly jab over quidditch. And now...well, it brought the danger of the times they were living in closer to home than ever before. James knew most of the students in the hall were thinking the same thing he was: It could have been my family.

They had Transfiguration first that day. For the first half of the class, Professor McGonagall tried to get on with her lecture. She seemed to lose her train of thought frequently, and kept repeating herself. Nobody in the class noticed, because despite their best efforts, they were not really listening. Finally, Professor McGonagall erased the instructions on the board with a wave of her wand.

"I know you are all aware of the tragedy that has befallen a student in our school." She said quietly, her voice controlled, but not as stern as usual. "I hope that in the next difficult days and weeks you will all offer your support and understanding to Miss Murray. I know you must be worried about your own families. I can only assure you that the Ministry is doing everything in their power to catch and punish the perpetrators of these attacks."

She cancelled the rest of the class and released them, knowing no one would be able to concentrate that day.

*********

Lily sat in the library, staring hard at her Transfiguration textbook. She was trying to study, but she had just read the same line four times. She was trying to act normal, as Head Girl she thought it would help to make things seem normal, to give some semblance of stability to the frightened First Years, but in truth nothing was normal. And for all her trying to act normal and calm, Lily could barely see past her own fears. No matter how safe she was inside Hogwart's, Voldemort was wreaking havoc outside of Hogwart's, and her family was outside Hogwart's. She could not live with herself if anything happened to her Mum and Dad, or even to Petunia. If not for her, they would be happily ignorant of the wizarding world and horrors like Voldemort and Death Eaters. She wasn't sure if being muggles made them safer, or even more vulnerable. Voldemort hated muggles, and they'd have no way of defending themselves against his servants. But maybe they were safer in the muggle world, removed from this war.

Unable to study, Lily reached for a piece of parchment.

Dear Mum and Dad,

My first day of school went pretty well. I had potions, charms, and herbology. It seems like my classes this year will be a lot of work, preparing for our exams, but interesting. Along with being Head Girl, which I think will take a lot of my time. A boy called James Potter is Head Boy. I don't like him much. Flora and Alice and Emily are all fine. They have mostly the same classes as me.

Lily paused, her quill hovering over the parchment. Part of her wanted to tell them everything about the attacks and her fears and how worried she was about them, but she didn't. Why worry them over something they couldn't control or even really understand.

I guess I just wrote to say that I miss you a lot, and I love you. Say hello to Petunia and (ugh) Vernon for me, and please write back soon.

Love, your daughter,

Lily

*******

Peter shoved his books aside irritably, knocking several off his bed in the process.

"I can't concentrate."

They had been let out of Arithmancy, or in Peter's case Herbology, early because no one was paying much attention, including the teachers. Normally the unexpected holiday would lead to students roaming the grounds, but today they were keeping to their dormitories or common rooms. They were all keeping up the pretense of studying, though Sirius was staring out the window with a glazed-over look, and even Remus had not turned a page in awhile.

"Anyone want a game of chess?" Peter said tentatively. The suggestion was met with various sounds of disinterest.

"Exploding snap?" He tried again, to the same reaction.

"I wish it had been my family." Said Sirius, suddenly, and with unexpected violence. They all stared at him.

"Sirius, don't say that."

"It's true. How can I even look at someone like Nicole when my family is part of the problem?"

"But you're not part of them problem. Everyone knows that. Dumbledore knows it."

"I just wish there was something we could do. We're just sitting here. We're totally helpless...We're sitting ducks."

*********

"Um, hey Evans?" James said hesitantly. Damn, I'm supposed to be calling her Lily. She drew her eyes away from the parchment she had been working so intently on, and quickly drew her Transfiguration text over it, although not before James saw "Dear Mum and Dad" at the top. He took the seat across from her.

"So, pretty bad day, huh?"

She did not exactly answer, but gave him a look that clearly said "No kidding Potter". He took a deep breath and continued.

"Some people are pretty upset, especially the first years."

She sighed, and relented. "I know. I'm trying to act normal, but I don't think it's really working." Her eyes strayed to a few first years huddled in a little group near the fire, whispering to each other. They did look very frightened.

"Well, I've been thinking. I mean, part of the reason everyone is so scared is because they feel like they can't do anything about what's going on out there." He waved a hand, encompassing all the world outside Hogwart's. "And they're afraid that they're going to be in it in a few years when they leave school, right?" She looked skeptical, clearly not knowing where he was going with this. "So I was thinking maybe it would help if we started some sort of a club, to learn, like, dueling and defensive spells and that sort of thing, so that everyone could feel like they're doing something, but outside of the pressure of classes, so it would seem more like fun, and..." He trailed off, as her green eyes regarded him steadily. "Idon'tknow. Maybe it's not such a good-" her prolonged stare was making him nervous.

"Actually Potter." She stopped him. "That is a good idea."

He grinned, although he did wish she wouldn't sound so surprised, he did have a good idea every now and then.

"It would at least make people feel like they were doing something instead of sitting around waiting for an attack. They wouldn't feel so...vulnerable."

"Of course, we'd have to get Dumbledore's permission."

"Oh, I'm sure he'd agree to it."

"There'd probably have to be a teacher to supervise."

"Not Professor Macenas." said Lily, of their DADA teacher. "She even gives me the creeps."

"Maybe Dumbledore will have an idea. We should wait a few days until we ask him though, until he finished dealing with...all this stuff..." He didn't want to say specifically dealing with the deaths of the Murray family.

"Yeah."

"Okay." The conversation was clearly over, it was either retreat, or sit there like an idiot searching for something to say, so James chose the former. "I'll see you later I guess."

"Sure." She turned back to her book, her tone clearly saying "I could care less."

But James didn't mind that. She had liked his idea, and they'd had an almost normal conversation. A shadow still hung over Hogwart's, but James felt better than he had all day.

5. Some Things I Know

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Chapter 5- Some Things I Know

Things I know about Lily Evans:

-She's very pretty.

-She thinks I am a complete prat.

-She slaps very hard. (Found that one out the hard way)

-She comes from a place called Little Whinging, in Surrey.

-Her favorite subject is ??????

James was quite proud of finding out where she was from. He had not actually found it out from Lily, he had seen it on a letter she had written to her parents at breakfast, as she had been planning to take it up to the Owlery before class. He had not found out yet what her favorite subject was, but he had accomplished one of his goals for the first week, and that was not bad seeing as he had been doing, in his opinion, and excellent job of not harassing her. Not that he'd really had time to. They seemed to have an unbelievable amount of homework, as though their teachers were trying to cram in as much information as possible before they let them out into the real world. After just one week of school James had to write three rolls of parchment about the uses of dragon blood in potions, he had to practice conjuring spells, which were very difficult, for transfiguration, he had to write two rolls of parchment on animation spells for charms, he had a long term project in Defense Against the Dark Arts on the Unforgivable curses, and Arithmancy…he didn't even want to think about that.

But the bright spot was that quidditch practices had started again, and he was the team captain this year. Their keeper, one of their beaters, and a chaser had graduated the year before, so he was planning to hold tryouts the next week. He already had an idea who he wanted. A fifth year named Simon Frey had played keeper once the last year when their usual keeper had been forced to sit out of a game after a bludger knocked him unconscious for nearly a month, and he'd been brilliant. A fourth year named Dale Waltham would make a good beater, and James suspected a second year named Bill Weasley would make a good chaser. A little young, yes, but the kid was nothing if not enthusiastic.

Remus kicked him gently. He looked up from his Lily list.

"Huh?"

McGonagall was standing directly over him. "Welcome to the class Mr. Potter. We were reviewing how conjuring spells need to be modified when conjuring live animals. But apparently you are finding something else far more interesting." James turned a deep shade of red as she picked up the notebook he had been scribbling in.

Oh Dear Merlin, she's going to read it aloud to the class. James wanted nothing more than to die. If there was any mercy in the world the floor would open up and swallow him. He closed his eyes, waiting.

He opened them again as McGonagall placed the notebook back on the desk in front of him, and said mildly "You should not be doing work for your other classes in here Potter. Ten points from Gryffindor, and pay attention."

He stared at her. It was clearly not work for another class. Had McGonagall actually….given him a break? He said nothing, only nodded meekly, and spent the rest of the class paying close attention and taking notes on every word she said. Only, as he was leaving, did she say "Potter?"

He paused, while his friends moved on out of the room, Sirius muttering "Oy, Prongs is busted."

"If that happens again Potter, I will read it aloud to the class." McGonagall said when all the students had left. She was marking papers and did not look up.

James gulped, a deep shade of crimson. "Yes Ma'am. Thank you."

"And I believe Miss Evans's favorite subject is Charms." She continued, still expressionless. He stared at her, his mouth wide open, until she looked up. "Don’t you have another class to go to Potter?"

"Yes Ma'am."

James stumbled out of the classroom, still completely not believing what had just happened, he could only wonder at the fact that you never did know what to expect from some people. Obviously there was more to his transfiguration teacher than he had realized.

******

Lily sat at one of the tables in the Common room and frowned at the stack of potions books she had brought from the library. Of course dragon blood was incredibly useful, but three rolls of parchment? Across from her, Flora was working on the same essay, and now she sighed deeply and laid her forehead against the table.

"Why oh why oh why am I taking NEWT level potions? What in Merlin's name was I thinking?" She moaned.

"Because it's better than NEWT level Divination?" Suggested Lily, and they both snickered. Neither of them had much use for divination, which seemed like a lot of guesswork to Lily. They were glad to be done with it.

"Hey Lil, Potter is staring over here." She whispered.

"So?"

"I'm just saying. He could be looking at me though." She threw a flirty smile his way. "He always looks so cute after quidditch practice. His hair all messed up."

Lily sighed and slammed her potions book shut. "His hair is always messed up. James Potter was apparently never instructed on the proper use of a comb." She gathered up her books. "I'm going to finish this upstairs." If Flora was that interested in Potter then she should go ahead and date him, but Lily was just sick of hearing about him. All she ever heard about was how he was a top student, how he was quidditch captain, how cute he was, how perfect he was. All she saw was how incredibly arrogant and annoying he was.

As soon as Lily was out of sight, Flora promptly stopped shooting dazzling smiles at James and his friends. Alice gave her a concerned look.

"Flor, you're not really thinking of dating Potter, are you?" She asked quietly.

"Of course not. I know he's perfect for Lily. I think he's nice, and I do think he's pretty cute. He's not really my type. Now Black, on the other hand…" She cast a speculative look at Potter's group.

"So what's with all the talk about Potter?"

"Isn’t it obvious? I'm trying to light a fire under Lily by making her nervous. I think they'd be great together. He knows it, you know it, I know it. The only person who doesn't is Lily, but she's slowly catching on. I'm nudging her along."

Alice grinned. "Good. Just so long as we’re on the same page."

******

James was thinking of going upstairs to bed when he spotted Alice sitting at a table alone, poring over her potions textbook. Aside from making him remember that he had not yet done his potions essay, he realized she was one of Lily's best friends. They shared a room, so surely they talked a lot? Everyone knew that girls gossiped terribly when they were alone. Surely they had talked about him at least a few times?

He tried to think of a reason to strike up a conversation with her. He didn't know her terribly well. She was generally quiet and sweet. But then he remembered she was all but married to Frank Longbottom. James liked Frank very much. He edged over to where she sat.

"Working on your potions essay?"

She glanced up, surprised to see him. "Yep."

"So, um, I was just wondering, how's Frank doing? With the Auror training and all?"

A brief but truly stunning smile crossed her face, and James was momentarily struck, wondering if mention of him would ever make a woman smile like that. "He's good. It's really hard work but he likes it."

"Tell him I said hello?"

"Sure, I will."

She closed her potions book, and shuffled her papers. "James, I know Lily seems really tough. She kind of has to be. You have to fight for her."

He stared at her. He'd thought he'd have to be the one to drag information on Lily out of her.

She shrugged. "I just wanted you to know it's not a lost cause. Just be yourself around her. The two of you actually have a lot of things in common. Find out what they are."

She winked at him, sweet little Alice actually winked at him, and gathered her books and headed up to the girls' dormitory. James was surprised, and thought Frank Longbottom was a pretty lucky guy.

6. Meetings

Chapter 6- Meetings

James looked in the mirror and tried to flatten down his hair, despite the fact that he knew this was a losing battle. When Sirius said in a mocking voice "Oh James, you’re so dreamy" he realized it was not terribly masculine to be preening in the mirror, and straightened up.

"Where are you going?" The other boys were in various states of undress, but James's uniform was still intact, his tie neatly knotted, his robes perfectly pressed.

"I'm meeting Lily." He picked up his bag and turned to see three very shocked expressions. "Not like that! I mean, we’re going to talk to Dumbledore."

They had all thought his defense club was a brilliant idea. Remus thought it sounded very educational and useful, Peter thought it might be good for him to learn a few defensive spells, and Sirius hoped for an excuse to hex some Slytherins.

"Um Prongs? What time are you supposed to meet her?"

"Eight. Why?"

"It’s five past."

He bolted from the room, ignoring the snickering of his best friends and a loud, false cough from Sirius that sounded a lot like "whipped". Of course she was waiting in the common room, looking very impatient.

"Good evening Lily." Score! I remembered to call her Lily! "Sorry I'm late. I was studying."

She looked a little taken aback. "Okay. Well, let's go."

They climbed out the portrait hole together, with a warning from the fat lady to be back by curfew time, which they ignored, a luxury given only to the head boy and girl. Lily had bravely made her way to the head table during dinner and asked Dumbledore if they might have a meeting with him later, so she knew the password, which was "licorice wand". They were both silent as the steps carried them to his office, and then Lily knocked softly. James had been in the headmaster's office before, but it never failed to awe him. As they stepped in, he could tell by Lily's wide-eyed wonder that she had never seen it before. He watched, enchanted, as she took in the vast circular room and all its interesting little instruments and ancient but still graceful furniture. Her eyes finally came to rest on Fawkes, sitting on his golden perch, and her brilliant green eyes grew even wider at the lovely bird with his scarlet and gold plumage. "Is that-?"

"A Phoenix." James confirmed, reaching out and stroking Fawkes, eliciting a gasp from Lily. "Hullo Fawkes. That's his name." He added knowingly.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans." Dumbledore greeted them. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Oh well Sir, we wanted to ask your permission to start a new sort of club." He glanced to Lily, inviting her to continue. She did.

"You see Sir, all the students are so worried, after everything that has happened this week. And even though we have Defense Against the Dark Arts classes, and Professor Macenas is very knowledgeable, James was thinking-" She caught herself "- that is, we were thinking, that we might start a sort of club for students to practice defense skills, and dueling and things. All closely supervised and based on things we're learning in class of course. We just thought maybe it might make them feel a little more… prepared. In case…you know…something else…bad…happens?" She finished a trifle uncertainly under the Headmaster's bright blue gaze.

"I see." Dumbledore folded his hands on his desk. "You both show wisdom beyond your years in understanding that this is not the last tragedy Hogwart's will see. And in understanding that such a thing will give the students a feeling of power over these uncertain times. You have my permission to form a defense club."

They looked at each other, and grinned. "Thank you Sir."

"We were wondering if maybe you could ask if any of the teachers would be willing to supervise?" James continued.

The old Headmaster raised his eyebrows. "I would think our head boy and girl would be able to supervise sufficiently."

********

"I never thought he'd let us do it without a teacher, I mean...how will we know what to do?" Lily was talking excitedly. James had never seen her act so natural around him before.

"Well, I mean, we're both in NEWT level Defense, right? So we probably know as much as anyone in the school. Except the teachers I mean, but so there's no reason we can't help the younger kids, right? And with the other people in our year, we can just practice on each other."

"Practice on each other?" She grinned as they came back to the Gryffindor common room. "I look forward to hexing you Potter."

"Well, I will have to defend myself, you know." He grinned back. "Why don't we get together tomorrow evening, say in the library, and start up a plan for everything?"

She nodded. "Okay. Good night James."

He stared after her as she went up the stairs to the girls' dormitories. She had just called him James. Had she ever done that before? He couldn't remember her ever calling him anything but "Potter" and even then in an annoyed voice that suggested he was wasting her time. But tonight she had called him James, in a natural and pleasant voice. He was in seventh heaven, and his friends wondered why they couldn't get an intelligent word out of him the rest of the night.

********

It was only nine o'clock, so Lily wasn't sure why she skipped the pleasant companionable atmosphere of the common room and went upstairs to work on her homework, but she was glad to find the room empty. She took out her charms homework and figured she could comfortably get it finished that night, since it was her favorite class and the one she was best in.

But she wasn't getting much done, she realized after a few minutes, she kept starting off into space. It was so odd, James Potter had actually been normal, and nice for an entire hour. He had not gone on about quidditch or his stellar grades or hinted broadly at how many girls fancied him. In fact, he had hardly talked about himself at all, and she had thought that was the only thing he was interested in. He'd been like a different person, nothing of the arrogant, bullying boy she thought she knew. And he was certainly taking a serious and active interest in his head boy duties. She'd been afraid he would be so busy with his quidditch and his gaggle of female admirers that she's be left doing everything.

She drew her book closer, wondering why she was wasting her time thinking about James Potter when she had so much homework to do.

********

It was after eleven when Lupin left the library. Technically, they were supposed to be in their common rooms before that, but he didn't think the prefects or any of the teachers would hassle him between the library and Gryffindor Tower. Luckily he didn't run into Filch on the way.

When he stepped into the common room it was nearly empty, except for a slightly panicked looking fifth year boy with all of his books spread over the table. He forced down a smile, remembering their fifth year and the pressure of OWLS. NEWTS didn't seem so bad, maybe just because you only took them in the classes you were good at. Of course, Remus was good at most classes.

"Hey, Lupin!" Someone said his name and turned to find Flora, who he had not seen since she'd been curled up in one of the armchairs near the fire. "Come here, I've been meaning to talk to you about something."

He couldn't imagine what, he knew Flora well enough, they were in the same house and had had seven years worth of classes together, but they weren't exactly friends.

"Alice and I want to get Lily and James together." She said frankly, without any introduction. "And we need some help from you and Black, you're the only people he'll listen to. Are you in?"

He grinned. That was what they were trying to do already, it could only be easier if Lily's friends helped too. "What's the plan?"

********

Sirius Black felt like he had wasted quite enough of his life in school, and he was determined not to waste this last year with anything as dull as studying. While all his friends were buried in their books and moaning about NEWTS, he was planning to have a good time. The sort of good time that one could have in the astronomy tower, and Sirius did not mean stargazing, although that was the euphemism some Hogwart's students used. Unfortunately, Filch had made it his personal mission to see that Sirius didn't have a good time, and that damn cat was tailing him everywhere. He'd taken to using James's cloak even for something as simple as sneaking food from the kitchens, which was hardly a challenge since he'd been doing it since first year.

He came around a corner and saw Mrs. Norris, and gave a grin at his own cleverness. Unfortunately, he was not paying attention to where he was going and run full into a girl standing with her wand pointed at the cat. He ran into her so hard in fact, that he had to grab her around the waist to keep them both from falling over. As he tried to right himself he saw Mrs. Norris dart away to get Filch. The girl, meanwhile, had screamed when she was grabbed by someone invisible and was thrashing against him wildly, shrieking "Let go of me! Let me go!" She stomped down hard on his foot.

"Will you shut up!" He hissed. "You'll get us both detention!"

He could hear footsteps coming- Filch! He dragged the girl with him into an empty classroom and backed up against the wall, pulling the cloak over both of them. She was tiny, probably a third or fourth year. "Now be quiet!" He hissed, as Filch came into the room. They waited in breathless silence as he checked every corner of the classroom, and then skulked away, disappointed that he had found no one to give detention to.

Sirius drew the cloak off both of them and glared at her.

"Nice job, almost getting us both detention."

"You're the one ran into me!" She cried back.

"You're a Slytherin." He said disgustedly, noting her green and silver tie for the first time.

"Ooh, good, nothing gets by you Black."

A Slytherin with a smart mouth, he thought.

"I can do without smart-ass comments from a third year." he snapped back, expecting her to be scared. Instead, she narrowed her eyes.

"It just so happens I am in sixth year. I'm only one year behind you and if you weren't so arrogant and superior and self-centered, you'd know it!"

With that, she turned and walked away, leaving him staring, without so much as a "thanks" for keeping her out of detention.

7. Back to Square One

Chapter 7- Back to Square One

Lily drummed her fingers on her Transfiguration book as she waited for James in the library. He wasn't late, not yet, she was a little early. Not because she actually wanted to see Potter, she assured herself, but because she had a lot of homework to do. Still, she had to admit she wasn't dreading this meeting. When he wasn't talking about himself or how brilliant he was, he wasn't as bad as she'd thought. He was actually all right, especially when he smiled…

She shook her head. Obviously, she wasn't getting enough sleep, she was getting a little loopy. She glanced at her watch. He had five more minutes, but she wasn't going to wait if he was late. She did not have time to accommodate James Potter's quidditch practice schedule, or more likely his assignation-with-some-attractive-girl-in-the-astronomy-tower-schedule. Not that she cared what he did in his free time, he could visit the astronomy tower with every girl at Hogwart's for all she cared. Although actually, in recent years she had not seen James connected with that many girls. That was his best friend's area. Lily was sure the people in school Sirius Black had not snogged was a short list.

"All right Lily?"

She had been so lost in thought she had not seen him come in. She blushed furiously as she realized she had been thinking about who he might or might not be snogging, but she recovered quickly and said "Right on time."

He grinned. "Yeah. I have loads of homework. You too I know, so we can make this quick." He took the seat next to her. "Do you reckon we should meet once a week?"

James was amazed how Lily managed to look so pretty even at the end of the day. But he didn’t tell her this, since that would be flirting with her, which Remus insisted fell into the category of harassment. So he was all business as they discussed when the defense club would meet (Wednesday nights) and drew up a flier for the prefects to put in each of their common rooms. As they were finishing up, he reached into his bag for a quill, and dragged one out from under his arithmancy book. She eyed it with interest, and then leaned over his shoulder and looked at it with interest. "Is arithmancy hard?"

"Uh…I…er…no, not…not especially…" He was acutely aware of how close she was leaning over near him. Her hair smelled wonderful, just the faintest hint of citrus flowers… and the way it shone softly in the torchlight in the library.

"-looks really complicated." She was saying, but he wasn't paying attention, instead he was studying her. She had three freckles under her left eye…"James?"

She turned to look at him, and suddenly she was impossibly close. Oh no James, don't do it! Don't! You idiot! Say something! Turn away!

He kissed her. For a second he thought she was almost going to kiss him back, but then she gave a gasp and pulled away, staring at him with wide green eyes, then-

SMACK!

"How dare you Potter! What is your problem? I actually thought you might be capable of acting normal and treating me like a person but clearly that is completely impossible for you! You're just so incredibly full of yourself that you can't get it through your impossibly large head that I am not interested in you. So just LEAVE ME ALONE!"

She snatched up her bag to leave, but in desperation he grabbed her arm. "Evans, wait, look, I'm sorry, I-"

"Let go of me right now Potter." She said, her voice low and dangerous. "I will hex you."

He saw she meant it, and released her.

"Will you just listen-"

But she grabbed her bag and hurried out of the library.

James sat for a few moments, stunned, and then shot a warning glare at two snickering Hufflepuff third years before collecting up his own books and leaving, Lily's handprint still clear on his cheek.

………………………………………………………………

As soon as the door of the library closed behind James, Flora and Remus stepped out from behind a shelf where they had been watching.

"Why is your friend such an unbelievable idiot?" She said in frustration.

"I really don't know." He admitted, feeling like he should apologize on behalf of all males everywhere. "There's really no excuse for him."

"She was actually starting to tolerate him, and now, we're going have to start all over at the beginning." She groaned. "Can't you, like, nudge him in the right direction?"

"I've been trying! I certainly didn't tell him to do something stupid like that. I told him to lay off flirting with her, not try to attack her in the library!"

"Now it's all ruined. I doubt she'll even speak to him again."

"She'll get over it, won't she?"

"You don't know what Lily is like. No one can hold a grudge like her."

……………………………………………………………………………….

"You did WHAT?"

James buried his face in his hands. "Padfoot, your yelling is not helping the situation any."

"Would telling you that you're totally screwed help the situation any?"

"I think he already knows that mate." Peter spoke up helpfully.

"What were you thinking?"

"Well, she just looked really pretty, and she was leaning all close to me, and she smelled really good, and..." James trailed off miserably.

"And then what?"

He heaved a great sigh. "She slapped me."

"Really? I've never gotten slapped for kissing a girl. Well, I have, but if was for more than kissing, if you catch my meaning..." Sirius raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Why no Padfoot, your subtlety is completely lost on us." Remus said dryly as he came in. He turned to James. "You're an idiot."

"That's not exactly going to make the front page of the Daily Prophet." Muttered Sirius, to no one in particular.

"You know already?" Yelped James. "How? Was it those Hufflepuffs? Well, clearly they're asking to be covered in boils!"

"I heard it from Flora."

"What? Lily told her already?"

Sirius shook his head. "It's girls, mate. They have this network for information. It's amazing!"

"I'll bet all the girls in the school know by now." Peter said evilly.

"I don't know why I even bother trying to help you." Remus shook his head ruefully at his friend. "You're hopeless."

……………………………………………………………………………

The next morning at breakfast James was sulking because Lily was ignoring him, except when she shot him the occasional nasty look. Sirius on the other hand, believed firmly in "alls well that ends well" and figured like any girl, she was just playing hard to get and would come around eventually. Just hopefully before James drove them all mad. In search of entertainment, since James was no fun today, he let his eyes wander over the great hall, until someone caught his eye at the Slytherin table. It was her! He still had a nasty bruise where she had elbowed him in the ribs and a sore foot from were where she had stomped on it. In the daylight, he could tell she wasn't a third year, but she didn't really look old enough to be a sixth year either.

"Hey, do any of you know who that girl at the Slytherin table is? Sitting third from the end with her hair in a braid?"

They all turned.

"She's a Slytherin." Said Peter, rather unnecessarily, since she was sitting at the Slytherin table, wearing a Slytherin tie, and talking to other Slytherins. Sirius gave him a withering look.

"No shit Sherlock. Nothing gets by you."

"I don't know her name." Agreed Remus, and James just shrugged. "Why?"

"She irritated me the other night, and I like to know the names of people I plan to curse."

"You're not going to curse a little girl Sirius?" Said Remus disapprovingly.

"Believe me Moony, she can look after herself."

…………………………………………………………………………

It was only by luck that Sirius was in the library at all. He rarely went there, but he was looking for James, who had taken to haunting it lately. Probably he was stalking Evans there. She seemed like a library kind of girl.

And it was only by chance that he saw her standing among the shelves looking up something in a heavy green book with some sort of ancient, unreadable carvings on the front. He ran a hand through his hair for good measure, and then strolled over and leaned against the shelf next her, crossing his arms in what he assumed was a confident and charming manner.

"Sorry I called you a third year."

She glanced up only briefly from the book, and smirked. "I haven't exactly been losing sleep over it."

"So what's your name?"

"I'm disappointed Black. You couldn't even find that out?"

"Who says I tried?"

She smirked again.

"So are you going to tell me?"

She closed the book and replaced it on the shelf, and started to walk away.

"I'll think about it." She said over her shoulder.

8. Lost In Translation

You guys are too hard on Sirius.  I admit he is my favorite character, so he gets his own subplot, I couldn’t help myself.

Chapter 8- Lost in Translation

James kept one eye on Flitwick while he scribbled in his notebook. He really didn't want a repeat of the incident in McGonagall's class. But this was an emergency. He had to talk to Lily, as soon as possible, and he had to plan what he was going to say. He added "DON'T KISS HER WITHOUT PERMISSION" on his "Rules of Engagement" list, and then noted sadly that that probably meant not kissing her at all, since right now it seemed quite obvious that she would not give him permission. Ever.

If he was going to do the thing properly, and apologize to her, he had to know what he was apologizing for. And that was the problem. He didn't really understand what she was so mad about. Perhaps he had been a little forward, and certainly he could have chosen a more romantic setting, but he didn't see that as a reason to slap him. Hell, if it had been reversed and she had kissed him without warning, he'd be delighted. He'd throw a party in celebration.

What had she meant about not treating her like a person anyway? It wasn't as though he went about kissing inanimate objects. He was treating her like a person- a person he wanted to kiss. It irked him even more because he'd been doing so well, and she'd actually started being nice to him instead of just listing all the reasons she hated him every time she saw him. He'd done a pretty good job of not flirting with her…did kissing count as flirting?

Besides, wasn't she flirting with him? All that smiling and looking pretty? Wasn't that was girls did when they were flirting?

He sighed. He had practiced saying "I'm sorry Lily" all morning in the mirror, ignoring Sirius's near hysterical laughter at this, and thought he'd gotten to sound quite sincere. But actually getting her to be near him long enough to say it was another matter.

The bell rang, and as they were all filing out of the classroom he saw his chance. Lily was looking for something in her bag, and was taking longer than her friends to get her things together. James saw that she was going to be the last person to leave the class and doubled back, and then blocked her as she tried to leave.

"Wait Lily-"

"Get out of my way."

"We have to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Fine, you don't have to say anything, just listen-"

But she pushed past him and out of the classroom, ignoring his protests….

……………………………………………….

Remus came into the common room and considered if he wanted to do his homework there, or go up to their room. If he went up to their room James would probably be sulking or plotting ways to get back into Lily's good graces, and he spotted Peter and Alice working on what appeared to be herbology near the fire, so he decided to join them. Alice might have some insights on the charms essay, she was good at charms.

"We learned about care and feeding of mandrakes in third year, that's not so hard, the tough thing is the venemous- Oh hullo." Alice greeted him as he sat down. He got out his charms work while they chatted on about mandrakes and other slightly more bloodthirsty plants that one encountered in NEWT Herbology. A few moments later Flora threw herself down across from him.

"Oh good, you're working on the charms essay. Can you believe all the work we're getting in there? Who knew Flitwick could be so vindictive? And I can’t get a damn thing done in the room with Lily. She keeps sighing and muttering. Honestly, can’t you boys tell Potter to stop being such a stupid prat and apologize?"

"He tried, she wouldn't listen to him." Peter supplied.

"You all do know what the problem is, don't you?" Sirius jumped into the conversation, pulling a chair over, he glanced over all the books on the table. "Wow, it's like a Ravenclaw Saturday night."

"No Black, please enlighten us as to what "the problem" is." Flora said, folding her hands primly over her book.

"Different languages." He said, with an air of doing them a great favor.

"What are you talking about? I don't hear Lily speaking French or something."

"Men and women, even if they all speak English, speak different languages. So sometimes things get lost in translation. Luckily, I have become an expert in girl language."

"Oh No." Muttered Remus, covering his face. He had an idea where this was going, and it was not going to be pretty.

Flora and Alice were now giving him their full attention. "I'm riveted. Go on."

"Well, for example when a girl is acting all mad, and you ask her what's wrong, she says "nothing". Now your average guy might think that actually means nothing, but no. It means she expects you to apologize. If a girl says "no, go ahead and watch quidditch with your friends", it means "don't you dare go watch quidditch with your friends". If a girl says "I don't want anything for my birthday" she means "I want something really expensive for my birthday." And if she says "Don’t kiss me Sirius" it generally means "Sirius, I really want you to kiss me."

Flora snorted and rolled her eyes, but he didn't stop.

"Now James's problem is that he doesn't understand this language barrier, so he takes everything Lily says at face value. She says "I hate you Potter" and so he tried to overhaul his entire personality to be more likeable, and of course it's not working, because really all she means is she's going to make him work for it." He sat back with a satisfied air.

"Well. That explains a great deal." Alice said quietly.

"You see what I'm saying?"

"No, it explains why you can’t keep a girlfriend for more than a week."

"How have you not been arrested?" Flora asked incredulously. She turned to Remus. "If you want Lily and James to get together, don't let this git give James advice."

………………………………………………………………………

Lily felt a little bad that she was annoying her roommates, so the next night she went to the library to study, thinking maybe she'd be better able to concentrate there, since she could get nothing done in her room. She didn’t know how it was possible that James Potter was everywhere. It was like there were ten of him at Hogwart's so he could magically appear everywhere she was. More likely, he was stalking her trying to get her alone so he could attempt to talk to her again, or maybe kiss her again, you never knew what he was going to try.

She felt so stupid that she had actually started to think he might be nice. It had obviously just been an act to get on her good side. He just wanted to snog her and assumed if he was nice for a few days she would melt over him like any other girl. Well, Lily was not any other girl and she wanted something more in a man than a good kisser. She wanted someone who was smart, but who could also be funny sometimes, since she suspected she came across as too serious. She wanted someone who had confidence, yes, but someone who respected her as well. She wanted someone who saw her as an equal, and James Potter would never seen anyone as an equal, since he thought her was superior to everyone. To him she was just a conquest. He only wanted her because he couldn't stand that someone wouldn't jump to do what James Potter said. He really was the most arrogant, self-centered, annoying boy she had ever met.

"All right, Evans?"

And he was stalking her.

"Evans, wait."

She kept walking, maybe if she ignored him he would go away.

"Listen, I know you don't want to talk to me and that's fine, but you have to at least give me a chance to say something. Look, I'm really sorry I kissed you. That was totally out of line, I shouldn't have done it without permission. But, you know, you looked really pretty, and…"

She sighed. "You just don't get it Potter."

His legs were longer, but he was still having to walk fast to keep up with her. "You're right, you're completely right, I don't get it. So help me out Lily, explain it to me."

She stopped suddenly and turned to face him. He looked completely earnest, but she wasn't going to be fooled again. He was obviously a good actor, he already tricked her once into thinking he was a nice guy.

"Why does it matter Potter?"

He looked shocked. "Well, because…I like you."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why do you like me?"

"Well, uh…I mean…why…er…why wouldn't I?"

"That's what I thought. You don't really even like me Potter. You don't know how to like someone, much less love someone. The only thing you love is James Potter and you're so enamored with yourself you can’t believe there's something you can’t have. Well, you might as well get used to it because I want nothing to do with you."

9. What I Like About You

Aww gee…thanks for the reviews!  I’m all giddy!

Chapter 9- What I Like About You

She wanted to know why he liked her? Fine, he'd tell her. But first he had to figure it out himself. He fell back on his usual method.

Reasons I Like Lily Evans:

-She's very pretty

As he wrote this, he almost crumpled up the paper and started again, but then stopped. Remus had warned him against focusing too much on her looks, as that was obviously not something Lily found important. Well, James didn't think it was that important either, but he did think she was pretty and saw no reason to apologize for that. If she didn't want to look nice, she wouldn't bother with all the nice hairstyles and jewelry and make-up. It wasn't the only reason he liked her, it wasn't even the most important reason, but it factored in. So he left it.

-She's very smart

She was that. She was brilliant in fact. As much as he hated when anyone beat him in classes, he had to admire Lily's quick mind. She'd been a worthy adversary for top grades since their first year. She could do charms that should be well beyond the ability of a seventh year student.

-She's actually quite funny when she wants to be

Lily was either naturally serious or terribly worried about being taken seriously. Whatever it was, she was generally all business. But everyone once in awhile, she would forget herself, and when she did she was very funny. This was usually when she was among friends, but she could also be very funny with him. True, it didn't seem very funny to him, because usually she was making fun of him, but she was quick and clever. James appreciated wit.

-She likes quidditch

Well, that was self-explanatory. She might pretend to be annoyed when he talked about it, but he had seen her at every quidditch game ever held at Hogwart's, watching every move avidly and cheering excitedly.

-She's strong, independent, brave…

James paused, his quill suspended over the paper. What was the point of all this? He could go to her and list all the reasons he liked her. What good would it do? Besides, there were not a few, concise, all-encompassing reasons he liked her. She fascinated him, she drew him, every time he found out something about her he wanted to know more, every time she said something he wanted to hear her say something else. And yet he couldn't go and say that to her, it didn't make sense, so he'd just end up sounding like an idiot again and she'd get mad at him again.

"That's what I thought. You don't really even like me Potter. You don't know how to like someone, much less love someone. The only thing you love is James Potter and you're so enamored with yourself you can’t believe there's something you can’t have. Well, you might as well get used to it because I want nothing to do with you."

James cringed as he remembered her words. He laid down his quill, and sighed.

……………………………………………………………..

Sirius knew a challenge when he heard one, and the sixth year Slytherin had clearly thrown him a challenge when she refused to tell him her name. Well fine, Sirius Black never backed down from a challenge, he was equal to any task. He'd find out her name and call her by it pointedly at every opportunity he got.

He waited patiently in a small alcove as the bell rang and students began to fill the halls. Standing unnoticed in the shadows, he watched the passing students, looking for likely candidates. Finally, he spotted just the sort of victims he had been hoping for. Two particularly scrawny first year Slytherin boys passed. Sirius caught the pair of them by their collars and before they could even make a squeak of protest, dragged them into an empty classroom. Before they even knew what was happening to them, they were staring in wide-eyed terror at the end of Sirius Black's wand. They might be only first years, but they had heard enough of the Gryffindor to know he wasn't bluffing when he threatened to hex people.

"Now then." He said conversationally. "I don't necessarily have to hex you. I merely requite one small piece of information and you two little slimeballs-in-training can go tripping on your merry way. There is a sixth year in your house. She's about so tall, slim, long black hair, blue eyes. Do you know who I'm talking about?"

They both nodded, too frightened to speak.

"What's her name?"

They exchanged a look, and the bolder of the two finally found his voice.

"We don't know." He squeaked.

"What do you mean you don't know? How can you not know?" Snapped Sirius. "Do you want to be in a full body bind? It will take them awhile to find you in here."

The boy shook his head fervently. "We're not allowed to talk to the older students. And they don't talk to us. So how would we know her name?"

Sirius considered this. In Gryffindor's common room everyone talked to everyone, but who knew what the Slytherins got up to in their common room? Maybe they did have some kind of bizarre hierarchy system. He glared at the pair of them, trembling at the end of his wand.

"Get out of here, you're useless."

Sirius ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He'd have to find another tactic.

………………………………………………………………………

Lily pressed a little too hard with her quill, and left a funny ink blotch on her potions essay. How stupid, she'd been writing with a quill for seven years now, it wasn't like she didn't know how. She slammed the quill down on her desk in irritation, and it snapped.

"Dammit."

"Lily? What's going on?" Asked Alice quietly from her bed, where she was reading.

"I broke my quill."

"That's not what I mean and you know it."

"I know. I guess I'm just tired. Lots of work, lot's to do."

Alice didn’t buy that for a second. She cleared her throat delicately. "I have noticed in the past few days Mr. Potter has been conspicuously absent from his usual position of worshipping the ground you walk on."

"Yeah, thank Merlin I finally got rid of him." Lily said, trying to sound relieved. Even to her own ears she sounded unconvincing.

"And how did you accomplish that?"

Deciding a lie would get her nowhere, she briefly recounted the conversation they'd had when he cornered her on the way to the library.

"I think…well, to be honest Lil, I think that was a little harsh."

Lily had been secretly thinking that as well. In fact, she almost felt a little bad. But when Alice said it, she immediately went on the defensive.

"After what he did?"

"Kissing you? Well yes Lily, it was rude, and tactless, and he showed really appallingly bad timing, but that's hardly a crime for Azkaban.

Irritated, she grabbed another quill from her bag, and went back to her homework. "I'm just glad he's stopped bothering me." She said with finality. But when Alice had gone back to her reading Lily was still staring at a blank piece of parchment. For someone who had finally gotten what she wanted, she didn’t feel very happy.

………………………………………………………………..

James had decided Lily Evans was hopeless, a lost cause, and announced boldly to his fellow Maurauders that that was the end of it. There would be no more talk of Lily Evans. It was three days into his self-imposed Lily Evans moratorium, and most people would think James was doing pretty well. He was busy and cheerful and making public observations about other pretty, available girls at Hogwart's. But Remus knew him too well to fall for it. The cheer was forced, the comments on other girls were just to prove how over her he was, and the constant activity was to keep him from thinking too much.

Sirius and Peter saw it too, but neither of them were known for sensitivity or tact, so it was Remus who made a point of seeking James out that evening. It took some searching, but he finally found him in the quidditch stands with his transfiguration textbook.

"So, how's it going?"

"It's amazing Moony, I feel so much better now that I've let go of the ridiculous Evans obsession."

"What kind of jewelry was she wearing today?"

"A gold necklace and little tiny red earrings and her usual watch." James realized that he had not only memorized what Lily was wearing, but also admitted it to his friend. He looked up from his book with an embarrassed expression.

"In other words, not over her at all."

"Damn you and your insights Moony. No, I'm not over her entirely yet, but I'm working on it. Pretty soon Lily Evans will be just a memory. It's like no matter how hard I try she's never going to give in. Why do I keep trying?"

"That really doesn't sound like the James Potter I know."

"I know, but you should have heard what she said…"

You don't know how to like someone, much less love someone. He closed his eyes briefly. He didn't even want to repeat that to Remus. He sighed, and opened his eyes to his friend's concerned face. Well, at least his friends cared. Wait a minute…his friends cared….his friends.

He slammed his book shut and shoved it back in his bag. Just who did Lily Evans think she was anyway?

"Where are you going?" Remus asked, surprised at his sudden move to leave.

"To find Evans." James said over his shoulder determinedly.

10. James Has His Say

Chapter 10- James Has His Say

Lily was just coming out of Herbology when she heard someone shout her name. She turned and saw James Potter, and instead of his usual good-natured smile, he looked angry. Really angry, angry enough to frighten her. Without giving her a chance to say anything, he seized her wrist and pulled her around the corner of the greenhouse, out of sight of her surprised classmates. His grip was painfully tight and she tried to pull out of his grasp.

"Stop it! James, stop, you're hurting my arm."

He released her, but then whirled around to face her. "Just who the Hell do you think you are?"

Surprised and not expecting the question, she replied with the obvious. "Lily Evans."

"Well, let me tell you something Lily Evans, you don't know a damn thing about me! For years I've just tried to be nice to you, because I thought I liked you, and maybe I didn't go about it in the best way and I know as well as anyone that I've acted like an idiot sometimes and I still have a lot of growing up to do. But you've always brushed me off without even bothering to find out anything about me."

"But-"

"I'M NOT FINISHED! I just realized something though. You assume you know all about me and who I am and what I care about, but you haven't got a bloody clue! You said the other day that I'm so enamoured with myself that I don't know how like someone or to love someone. Well, you're completely wrong. I have three of the absolute best friends in the world, and even if we don’t show it a lot, I love them, totally and unconditionally. I have a family Lily, who would do anything for me. I do know how to love people, completely and without expecting anything in return. I know how to love people to an extent that I would do anything for them, even die for them. I know I may come off as shallow sometimes, but I care very deeply about some things that you couldn't even begin to understand, so before you start throwing out judgements, you might consider who has the problem here. Because you know what I think Lily? You're so worried about that everyone thinks about you and you're so worried about being taken seriously that you won't let anyone get close to you. Maybe you're the one with the problem loving people, because when you let yourself like someone Lily, they're going to see that you're not perfect, and maybe that is what you have such a problem with. So don't tell me I don't know how to love you Lily, you're the one who won't give it a chance. Fine, I'm tired of fighting for you, but don't try to make it my fault. And…and…that's all." He finished, breathing heavily.

She was staring at him with her mouth slightly open, but he just turned on his heel and walked away.

"James….James wait!" She said weakly, but he didn't stop.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

After he left Lily, James felt triumphant, victorious, on top of the world. For about twenty minutes. He had only meant to point out to her that he had close friends who he loved and vice-versa, but he'd just gotten angrier and angrier and once he's started talking he couldn't stop. He knew he'd hurt her feelings, he'd seen it in her eyes. Well, fine, she never worried about his feelings, and besides, he hadn't said anything that wasn't true.

He was in the dorm, resolutely trying to read his Arithmancy homework, when Remus came in.

"Did you…uh…find Lily?"

James gave him a dirty look. He knew the Hogwart's gossip machine had been working. "You know I did."

"Yeah, Alice mentioned you caught her leaving herbology."

He said nothing else, but took out his own arithmancy book and began to read as well. James knew this was actually just waiting until he decided to talk about it, but James wasn't going to talk about it. It was over, done with. He'd said what he had to to Lily and that was the end of it.

"JAMES!" Sirius burst into the room. "Prongs, did you actually snog Lily Evans behind the greenhouse?"

"I didn't lay a hand on Lily Evans." He said quietly. Wonderful, the rest of the class couldn't see what was going on so they were making up their own stories. He should have known that would happen.

"Okay, you didn't lay a hand on her, but did you or did you not snog her?" Sirius was bouncing from one foot to the other in excitement.

"I did not Padfoot."

"Damn."

"I just told her I wasn't going to fight her anymore, I'd leave her alone. I don't reckon she'll want to come anywhere me either. I was kind of harsh."

He brought his book back up, and didn't see his two best friends exchange a look.

………………………………………………………………………………….

Lily could not stand the noise and activity of the common room, but she couldn't face her room and the delicate inquiries from her roommates if she was okay. There were times when she hated boarding school- there was no privacy, and she knew the whole school knew something had happened between her and James behind the greenhouse, but since they didn't know what, they were making up their own, probably X-rated, versions.

She left the common room with no particular destination in mind, without any thought of getting in trouble. She was head girl anyway, no one would mind. As she walked the halls of Hogwart's, though she didn't want to, she thought about what Potter had said. He was wrong. Totally wrong! He could not be more wrong. All the flirting and asking her out wasn’t being nice, it was to annoy her. And she was not the one with the problem. She had a family and friends too, and they loved her. Well, besides Petunia of course. But her parents…Lily knew her parents loved her…although they had grown apart a lot in the last few years. Not because they didn't love her, but because they couldn't really understand her world, and every year she spent at Hogwart's she grew farther and farther away from the muggle world. But that had nothing to do with anything, she still loved her parents. And she had friends, close, wonderful friends. What were Alice and Flora if not people she loved? And yet it wasn't quite the same sort of thing that Potter had with his friends. She hated to admit it, but although she hated Potter and Black individually, she admired the closeness they had with each other and Lupin and Pettigrew. Even though most of the time they were acting like boys- teasing and play fighting and acting stupid, there was definitely a bond there.

Lily stopped, in the middle of a hallway. What if he was right? She had worked so hard to be at the top of her class and to earn the respect of people who thought muggle-borns were second class citizens, and at the expense of what? Potter's words came back to her ". I know how to love people to an extent that I would do anything for them, even die for them." Did anyone care about her that much? She forced herself to admit it. No. No one would die for her.

Lily pushed open the door nearest to her, the empty Charms classroom. She pulled the door shut behind her, leaning against it, she slid slowly down and wrapped her arms around her knees, and cried.

11. A Little Help From My Friends

Chapter 11- A Little Help from My Friends

“James?” He turned at the sound of a feminine voice. Flora McKinnon was standing behind him as he exited the Great Hall with his friends, clutching her transfiguration book. “I was wondering if you could help me with Transfiguration? I’m having a little bit of trouble with today’s homework, and you’re so good at it…”

James was frozen somewhere between amusement and horror. Was she actually trying to flirt with him? She was always naturally a bit of a flirt, but in a normal, cheerful, friendly kind of way, not in this annoying, giggling, hair tossing kind of way. Besides, he’d never given her much thought outside of the context of “Lily’s friend” and she’d never shown much interest in him either. So why was she suddenly acting bizarre?

“Flora, do you have something in your eye?” Remus asked, genuinely concerned. She shot him a dirty look.

“Uh, sure, I guess.” James agreed, shooting a puzzled glance at his friends, who all looked equally mystified. “After dinner?”

She nodded. “Meet me in the library?”

“Uh, sure.”

She grinned at him and turned away to go sit with some other Gryffindor girls.

“What was up with that?” James asked as soon as she was out of earshot.

“Something is strange.” Agreed Remus.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Flora gave a great sigh as she sat next to Alice at the Gryffindor table. “I think I actually felt my IQ drop several points.”

“I didn’t know you knew how to flip your hair like that.”

“It’s a gift. Do you think they bought it?”

“I hope so, we really need to find out what is going on.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Hey, I’ll catch up with you guys later. I left my…uh, transfiguration book.” Sirius lied. He caught a glimpse of Slytherin colors and black hair rounding a corner and followed, leaving his friends confused.

“Hey.” He caught up and fell into step with her. She gave him a raised eyebrow.

“Someone might see you talking to a Slytherin Black.”

“I’ll take my chances. Besides, it’s not like they’d know who I’m talking to. You know, I’d feel pretty bad if I’d spent six years at this school, and still nobody in my own house knew what my name was.”

She nodded, thoughtfully. “Yes, I can see that might make you feel bad. But I think there is an angle you haven’t considered. Is it that no one knows my name, or is it that someone suggested it might be in their best interest not to tell you my name?”

He stopped dead in the middle of the hallway. “You didn’t!”

She smiled sweetly. “I was just saying it was an angle you hadn’t considered. Excuse me Mr. Black, I have class.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

When James entered the library he was definitely on guard. He considered himself a pretty smart wizard- he could figure out transfiguration, potions, charms…but he was sure not even the most brilliant wizard in the world could figure out women. Whatever it was McKinnon wanted, he was pretty sure it did not have to do with transfiguration. She’d never had any trouble with that class before.

But she was there, sitting at one of the tables in the corner that were often used by “couples” because they were hidden from Madam Pince’s view by shelves. James felt a little uncomfortable. Did she actually fancy him? He took the seat across from her, a little nervously. She wasn’t acting stupid and giggling at least.

“Relax James, I won’t bite you. I might, however, have to hex you.”

That got his attention, and he finally noticed she did indeed have her wand pointed at him, discreetly from under her book. His own wand was sitting uselessly in his pocket.

“Well, to be honest McKinnon, I’d rather have you threaten me than try to flirt with me.”

“Oh that? Well, we had to figure out a way to get you apart from your mates. I’ve been bugging them all week, but either they don’t know, or they’re circling the wagons and protecting you. I’d guess the former since I don’t think Lupin is a very good liar. So I figured I’d have to find out from you personally. What did you say to Lily?”

He eyed the wand, trying to guess if she’d risk a detention by using it in the library, or if she was bluffing. “I don’t really think that’s any of your business.”

“Not my business? I have to live with her Potter, and it has not been fun these past few days. She’s moping around and crying at the drop of a hat, and Lily does not cry.”

“I just said…” He settled on telling a partial truth. “I just said I wasn’t going to bother her anymore.”

She looked aghast. “Why would you do a stupid thing like that?”

“Are we talking about the same Lily Evans here? Red hair? Green eyes? Hates me passionately?”

Flora pinched the bridge of her nose like she had a headache. “Men. Are. So. Stupid.”

She sighed and withdrew her wand, putting it in her bag. “She doesn’t “hate you passionately” as you put it. I suspect she doesn’t really hate you at all, if you would just stop acting like a prat long enough for her to realize it. But whatever you said, it really hurt her. You need to apologize.”

“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.” He replied defensively.

“Maybe not, but nobody likes to have all their faults thrown back on their face. People in glass houses Potter...”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

When James got back to his room, Peter was the only one there. He only needed to give a questioning look, since James already knew what he wanted to ask.

“She was just cornering me to ask what I did to Lily.”

“What did you do to Lily? Padfoot is still convinced you snogged her and you’re holding out on us.”

“If I had snogged her, I’d be hanging banners in the halls, not holding out on you, believe me.”

“So then?”

James considered. It had been nagging at him, he felt almost guilty. He hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true, but he had been harsh, and that was no way to treat someone he claimed to care about. Lily was never going to speak to him again, and with good reason. And while he had insisted he didn’t care, he did. He still liked her, still wanted to get to know her, wanted to get to know the Lily he had caught glimpses of who wasn’t all uptight and perfect and easily offended. Since Wormtail was there, and willing to listen, James told him everything. He felt better just getting it off his chest. Peter listened patiently, and then was silent for a moment when he finished.

“Well….Remus is better than me at this sort of thing, but…I think you should talk to her. I know you don’t feel like you should have to apologize, but you could at least tell her what you were feeling, maybe then she’ll understand why you were so harsh. I don’t know James, she’s definitely got a temper, but I think Lily Evans might be more understanding than you give her credit for.”

James considered this for a moment, then nodded and jumped up. “You just might be right mate.” He pulled the invisibility cloak out of his trunk. “Don’t wait up.”

12. Friends

Somebody asked why I had James talking to Peter about his girl problems.  That wasn’t just random, there was reasoning behind it.  And since you asked, I’ll take this opportunity to wave my little “Peter wasn’t always evil” flag.  It’s easy for us fans to hate him because we know what he’s going to do in the future.  They didn’t, and we have to remember that he was one of their best friends, otherwise why would the trust him with their lives?  I personally think he didn’t turn evil until after Hogwarts, even if the potential was always there.

Chapter 12- Friends

James bounded down into the common room and looked around.  No Lily, but he did see Alice curled up in one of the chairs by the fire with a book.  He marched over to her.  “Hey, Where’s Lily?”

She closed the book and looked up at him.  “First of all, my name is not “hey”, and second, I am certainly not going to tell you if you ask like that.”  She opened her book again and pointedly ignored him.

James huffed out a breath in frustration.  “I’m so sorry.  Please Please Dear Lady would you be so kind as to enlighten me as to the whereabouts of your friend Miss Evans?”  He said in a sugary voice.

“That’s much better.  I don’t know.”

He rolled his eyes.  “Alice-“

“I really don’t, she’s off doing her head girl thing, shooing people back to their common rooms.”

“Right.”  James stepped out of the portrait hole, and then with a quick glance at the Fat Lady, who was sleeping, covered himself with the cloak.  He set out with no particular direction in mind, looking for Lily.  He was well aware he was stalking Lily in the deserted hallways of Hogwart’s and knew how bad that sounded, and he knew she would probably be furious, he was prepared for that.

He’d been wandering for about fifteen minutes when he heard voices.  “In the library?  And you were taking a detour back by way of the astronomy tower apparently.  Get back to your common room.”

James grinned as two fourth year Hufflepuffs scampered past in the direction of their common room.  Yeah, he’d tried the “library” excuse at that age too.  Once they disappeared around a corner, Lily started off again, and he followed her.  He noted with some concern she looked very tired, with a slight droop to her shoulders and dark circles under her eyes.  They had been busy of course, with classes and the ongoing NEWT preparation, but not anymore than usual, and not enough to make her look so…down.

She was heading in the direction of the common room, and he had to stop her before she got there, so he took a deep breath and pulled off the cloak. 

“Lily?”

She spun, and stared at him.  “How did you get there?”

He grinned and shrugged.  “Magic.”

She rolled her eyes.  “Get back to the common room Potter.”

He crossed his arms.  “I will not.  In case you’ve forgotten, I am Head Boy.  I have as much right to be out here as you do.”

“A serious lapse of judgement on Dumbledore’s part.”  She muttered, turning away.

“Lily wait.  I didn’t come out here just to harass you.  I wanted to talk to you.  I wanted to…apologize.”  She had been walking away, but she stopped.  She didn’t turn around, but she paused, so he continued.  “Not for what I said, because I didn’t say anything untrue, but it was really mean, and unnecessary, and I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.  I’d never want to do that Lily.  I was mad, I guess because my friends and family are really important to me and so what you said upset me.  Anyway, I’m really sorry if I upset you.  I didn’t mean to.”

She turned to face him, and sighed.  “It’s all right Potter.  I’m not mad about it anymore.”

“Oh…”  He had expected yelling, slapping, throwing things, not such a quiet, dignified response.  “Well, I’m glad then.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes…no wait!  I don’t want to leave things like this.  Listen Lily, I like you.  I know you don’t believe me and you think I just want to snog you or something, but I really do like you.  If I promise to not ask you out and I promise to be a perfect gentleman at all times, can’t we be friends?  Just friends.  You know, like maybe if I see you between class in the halls I can say hi to you, and you say hi back instead of telling me to sod off.  Or maybe like if I see you studying in the common room I could ask you a question about our charms homework.”

She looked at him closely. As though looking for the catch, and then she shrugged.  “Yeah, I guess that would be okay.  I guess I’m still going to have to work with you anyway.”  She gave him a small smile.  “I just can’t get away from you Potter.”

“Good, so we’re agreed.”  He stuck out his hand, and she eyed it suspiciously.  He rolled his eyes.  “It’s called shaking hands Lily.  I assure you it is entirely platonic.”

She shook his hand, and then he said “Now, since you are going back to the common room and I am going back to the common room, it would be perfectly appropriate, as friends, that we walk together.”

___

“So?  You don’t like you got your ass kicked?”  Sirius asked as James came back into their room.  James shot a dirty look at Peter, who shrugged. 

“Well, they asked where you were, and you didn’t say it was a secret.”

All three of them were looking at him with expectant looks.

“She’s not mad anymore.  She forgave me.  We’re going to be friends.”

“With benefits?”

“No.”

“Friends who snog each other?”

James rolled his eyes.  “No Padfoot.  I know it’s a foreign concept to you to just be friends with a girl, but we are just going to be friends, like you and I.”

“Definitely no snogging then.”  Mused Sirius.

“I’m not sure how that’s going to work James, you really don’t want to be friends with her.”  Remus said.

“I know that, but if it’s a choice between being friends with her or having her not speak to me, I prefer the former.  Besides, friends can sometimes turn into something more.”

“Like friends who snog each other.”  Said Sirius with a grin.

­­___

James held out his hand to her.  She gave him a suspicious look.

“It’s called shaking hands Lily.  I assure you it is entirely platonic.”  A teasing smile played over his face.  Feeling silly, she took his hand.  In sudden movement, he tugged her hard by the arm, so that she stumbled forward against him.  He steadied her by catching her around the waist with one arm, and then turned so that her back was against the stone wall.  She opened her mouth to ask just what the hell he thought he was doing, but before any words got out, he kissed her.  Not tentatively like that time in the library, but demandingly, possessively.  And to her own surprise, Lily did not push him away, but instead kissed him back, gripping his arm, afraid he would move away from her…

Lily sat up in bed, her head spinning and her breath coming quickly.  She had gasped, but none of her roommates had woken up.  The room was still and peaceful aside from her pounding heart.  Oh Gods, I can’t believe I dreamed about kissing James Potter.  She brought her hand up to her mouth…it had been one of the most real and vivid dreams she’d ever had.

Lily was really a rather shy person, and certainly not the type to date lots of different guys, but she was not unpopular, and she had been kissed before, but never like that.

“Stop thinking like that this instant Lily Evans!”  She whispered aloud.  “It was a dream.  It wasn’t real.  It doesn’t change anything, Potter is still a prat and you’d better remember it!”

She laid back down and pulled the covers tightly around her.  I will not think about it again, she vowed, by tomorrow morning I will have forgotten about this silly dream.

___

It will be awhile before they kiss in real life, but I figured I owed you at least some dream snogging.

13. Trouble

Chapter 13- Trouble

Lily looked around in surprise as a small, neatly folded scrap of parchment landed on her desk.  Suspiciously, she unfolded it.

Dear Miss Evans,

Cannot help but notice you seem to keep looking at me.  Perhaps I have something on my face?

Sincerely,

James Potter

Lily set her teeth.  She had not been staring at James, had she?  If she had, it was because she could not get that stupid, horrible dream out of her head.  But she wasn’t looking at him, it was only because he was so arrogant that he assumed girls just couldn’t help but stare at him.

Mr. Potter,

Aside from your perpetual annoying smirk, there is nothing on your face.  Am merely appalled and shocked that in seventeen years nobody has ever instructed you in the proper use of a comb.

Sincerely,

Lily Evans

A few moments later the piece of parchment landed on her desk again.

Dear Miss Evans,

Am wounded by your comment.  Shall shave my head promptly after class.

Sincerely,

James Potter

She scowled, now he was trying to be cute.

Save the drama for someone who cares Potter.

Sincerely,

Lily Evans

The prat was obviously enjoying himself and not deterred, because he wrote back.

My Esteemed Friend Miss Evans,

Drama?  Me?  Surely you jest!  Admittedly, Sirius can be a bit of a drama queen, but I myself am completely in earnest.

Sincerely,

James Potter

Spare me Potter.

Sincerely,

Lily Evans

_____________

James smiled at her terse responses to his notes.  She might be responding grudgingly, but she was responding.  He decided to change the subject, since she obviously was not going to tell him why she had kept turning around and looking at him at the beginning of class.

Dear Miss Evans,

Are you planning on joining our classmates this week-end in their diversions in the lovely village of Hogsmeade?

Sincerely,

James Potter

He thought she wasn’t going to respond, and he wondered if she thought he was going to try and ask her to Hogsmeade.  He hadn’t meant that, he had learned his lesson about asking her out.  Finally, she wrote back.

Mr. Potter,

Yes, I am going to Hogsmeade.  Alice is going to meet Frank and Flora and I plan to go shopping.

Sincerely,

Lily Evans

James sighed.  Well, that was a pretty clear “yes I’m going but I have plans and certainly hope I don’t see you.”  Shopping?  Aside from a stop into Zonko’s and Honeydukes, James thought shopping was a great waste of a good Hogsmeade week-end.  Women were strange creatures.

Dear Miss Evans,

I will be shopping as well, although I suspect my purchases will be of a rather different nature.

Sincerely,

James Potter

Yes, surely things to help you in your quest to set a Hogwart’s detention record.

Sincerely,

Lily Evans

Sirius nudged him with a foot, and he looked up to see Flitwick giving him a curious look.  Quickly, he shoved the notes into the pocket of his robes and gave the little teacher his attention, but he was pleased.  She was at least not ignoring him.  He just wished he knew what she was staring at.

_________

Although James and his friends could, and did, go to Hogsmeade whenever they wanted, they were looking forward to the official Hogsmeade week-end.  The villagers of Hogsmeade were always friendly to students, and they were looking forward to going to Zonko’s and the Three Broomsticks…they couldn’t go there on their nocturnal roaming, since Madame Rosmerta would surely know they weren’t supposed to be out of school.

Saturday morning was bright and sunny, and thy set off in high spirits for the village.  James was momentarily distracted when he spotted a well known head of bright red hair, but she was deep in conversation with her friends and he knew that interrupting would only make her angry.

Sirius, however, was looking at a solitary figure ahead of them and fingering his wand thoughtfully.

“Shall I hex Snivellus?”  He asked cheerfully.  “No teachers are around to see.”

“Padfoot, let him be.”  Said Remus mildly.  Sirius looked mildly disappointed, but was quickly distracted by the window display of Quinn’s Quidditch Supplies.

They visited the quidditch shop, as James had been meaning to get some new wrist guards, and then they went on to Zonko’s and Honeydukes.  By lunchtime they had finished all of their necessary shopping and decided it was right time to have a drink in the Three Broomsticks.

___________

Sirius was just enjoying himself watching Moony and Wormtail compare Zonko’s products, when he spotted her across the bar.  Worse yet, she was sitting at a small table with some slimly little Slytherin git, and by all appearances, they were on a date.  Not that he minded precisely, it was no concern of his since she didn’t even know her name (and that still irked him as well), but he wondered why she was wasting her time with some skinny little Slytherin loser.   I could drop that guy with one hex.

“Padfoot, what are you staring at?” 

Remus followed his gaze, and then frowned.  “Who is that girl and why exactly are you so obsessed with her.”

“For your information, Mr. Prefect, I don’t know who she is and I am NOT obsessed with her.”

“Well, you certainly do spend a lot of time staring at her.”  Agreed Wormtail.

“She almost got me caught by Filch one night.  I do not appreciate it when people get me in trouble.”  He lied.

“You do it well enough on your own.”  Peter remarked.

“Uh, guys…”  James interrupted.  “What’s going on outside?”

________

James had been staring absently out the window of the Three Broomsicks while his friends bickered.  He agreed with Moony and Wormtail that Sirius did seem to be hung up on the Slytherin girl, but he figured Sirius would tell them what was going on when it suited him.  It was as he was staring out the window he saw Lily walk by with Flora.  He hoped they would come in the Three Broomsticks, but just inside his field of vision, they stopped suddenly, looking either annoyed, or frightened…James couldn’t tell from where he sat.  Leaning forward slightly so he could see more of the street, James saw two tall Slytherin boys- he was fairly certain their names were Burke and Avery- saying something to them.

“Uh, guys…”  He interrupted his friends.  “What’s going on outside?  It looks like Evans and McKinnon are getting harassed.”

He knew his friends well, and they were not about to let girls, especially Gryffindor girls, get harassed by Slytherins.  In an instant they were all on their feet and headed for the door.

“….don’t have to get all offended Evans.”  Avery was saying.  James stepped forward, his hand on his wand.

“Is there a problem here?”

Avery was holding two wands, and he suspected one of them was Lily’s.  That was smart, since Lily was capable of hexing him into the next century.  Avery sneered at him.  “Get lost Potter.”  But his eyes did flicker a little nervously to his friends.

“Give Miss Evans her wand back.”  He said evenly.  When Avery didn’t move he said “Now don’t make me hex you.”

“James!”  Shrieked Flora, and he ducked just in time to feel a curse fly so close it brushed his hair.  Without hesitating he spun and shouted “Impedimenta!” and turned to see Rastaban Lestrange hit the ground.  He allowed himself a smirk of satisfaction before turning back to Avery.

“I’ll tell you again Avery.  Give Miss Evans her wand back.”

“Expelliarmus!”  James dodged, so that the disarming spell hit Wormtail, so that he gave a small yelp, but James didn’t let that distract him, but threw back the first spell he could think of.

“Petrificus Totalus!”

Avery keeled over stiffly and James walked over calmly and removed the wand from Avery’s hand, handing it back to Lily.

“Thanks.”  She said softly, giving him an odd look.

He shrugged, about to say she was welcome, when Sirius gave a shout.

“Rictumsempra!”

“Protego!”

“Reducto!”

“Stupefy!”

“CRUCIO!”

“Petrificus Totalus!”

The exchange of spells happened so quickly James couldn’t tell who cast what, but as soon as the dust cleared, Sirius was clutching the side of his face with blood seeping through his fingers, but both Burke and another Slytherin boy called Nott were unconscious on the ground as well.

“ALL OF YOU FREEZE THIS INSTANT!”

Professor McGonagall stood in the doorway of the Three Broomsticks, looking furious.

14. Consequences

Your reviews have been wonderful, thanks!!!!

Someone asked if I ship anything.  Nope.  I wanted to do a Lily and James fic because they’re so canon, other than that I really don’t care.  Really, I’m open to any ship if it’s presented realistically.

Short Chapter, but that’s better than nothing, right?

Chapter 14- Consequences

While McGonagall loomed above them, white with fury, James looked around at the people still standing, and saw the same question in his friends’ eyes....who had cast the crucio? James, for his part, didn't even know HOW to do that curse...he knew the words, but he had certainly never tried it. Of course, since no one had fallen to the ground writhing in pain, it hadn't worked, but...

He looked again to McGonagall, and while she was plenty mad, he didn't think she had heard the unforgivable curse. "You all..." She gestured to those who were still standing. "Go straight to my office! NO, you are not walking back!" She snapped as they started to turn. "Use the floo in the Three Broomsticks. Go!"

While she began conjuring stretchers and trying to rouse the unconscious Slytherins, they hurried inside under a glare from Madame Rosmerta, and flooed to her office. They stood around uncomfortably, nobody wanting to mention what they were all thinking.

"We're in so much trouble." Lily finally said in a small voice.

"It wasn't our fault, we didn't start it." Sirius said hurriedly, obviously trying out the line he planned to use on McGonagall. "Thanks." He added as Flora handed him a handkerchief to press against the cut on his cheek. "Damn Nott."

"You guys..." James looked around at them all. "Who did it?"

They didn't need to ask what he meant. They all looked at each other.

"Well, it wasn't any of us!" Peter said quickly. "It had to be one of the Slytherins!"

"Yeah, they know all that stuff...unforgivable curses...dark arts...."

They couldn't discuss it further because McGonagall stepped out of the fireplace, her mouth pressed into a thin line.

"Professor, it wasn't our fault, they started it!" Said James, Sirius, and Flora all at once.

"Quiet!" She snapped. "I am absolutely appalled at your behavior! When you are in Hogsmeade you represent this school and Gryffindor House and I am shocked that members of my house, along with our head boy and girl, were brawling in the streets like first years! Not to mention that as seventh years you are expected to set a better example for the other students!"

"Professor, really, Avery started it." Lily said quietly, trying to sound like she was in control of the situation. "He..erm...bumped into me...and..."

"What Lily is too polite to say-" Flora interrupted hotly. "-is that he ran into her...um...strategically...and on purpose, and then when she told him off, he took her wand!"

"That's true Ma'am." Said Sirius earnestly. "James was just trying to get it back!"

"That's enough!" Said McGonagall. "Regardless of what Mr. Avery may have done, that does not condone fighting. You can rest assured the Slytherin students will be punished accordingly when they are released from the hospital wing."

James felt at least a small amount of satisfaction that they had to go to the hospital wing.

"As for the lot of you...there will be no more Hogsmeade visits foe the rest of this term. One hundred points from Gryffindor, which I'm sure you will enjoy explaining to the rest of your house."

"But Professor-"

She held up a hand. "Mr. Black you are lucky I am not involving the Headmaster in this. Now be quiet." Sirius looked down at his feet. "I will be sending owls to all your parents, and you will all serve detentions." She finished. "I'm sure Mr. Filch can find a use for you."

All in all, James felt it could have been worse.

"Well, at least we'll all get to bond with each other, since no one elsein Gryffindor will speak to us after losing a hundred points." Sirius remarked pragmatically.

________________

When they got back to the common room, it was only first and second year students, the others were not yet back from Hogsmeade. James shooed away some second years so they could all sit nearest the fire.

"I'm definitely going to get a howler." He said glumly.

"Me too." Muttered Flora. "Probably two, one from my parents and one from my sister."

Lily reflected that some times it wasn't so bad to be muggle born. Her parents might be mad, but they couldn't embarrass her in front of the entire school.

A group of chatteringfourth years came through the portrait hole. "Nice going Potter." One of them called in his direction.

"Make a note of which kid said that." He said mildly. "When I'm not already in trouble, I'm going to hex his pants off. Literally."

They caught snatches of the conversation was the fourth years moved off "..lost a hundred points..." "What?! A hundred....?"

"I would suggest we all retire to our rooms before the rest of the house gets back." Remus sighed.

"I think you're right mate."

Lily started to follow Flora up to their dorm, but then turned and went back over to the boys staircase. "Potter?"

He turned around, while his friends exchanged a look and then continued up the stairs. Lily walked up the first few steps so that they were out of sight of the people in the common room. "You got me in trouble..." She began.

"For Merlin's sake Evans, I was trying to help you!" He interrupted hotly. "And don't tell me you had the situation under control because from where I was standing it looked like Avery was about to hex you with your own wand."

She crossed her arms over his chest while he had this little outburst. When he finished, she went on quietly. "If you could let me get a sentence out without interrupting me. You got me in trouble, but for all the right reasons. So, I appreciate it, and....thanks." He could not have looked more shocked if she had hexed him, but she turned and fled to the girls dormitory, leaving him staring after her.

_________________

Detention, lost points, and no more Hogsmeade visits (well, no more school sanctioned Hogsmeade visits) didn't seem like anything to smile about to Sirius, but James came back into their room with a silly grin on his face.That boy had it bad.

Sirius was pacing about restlessly. McGonagall had not precisely confined them to their dormitory, but they didn't dare go back to the common room until the other students had gotten over the loss of points, so he felt trapped anyway.

"Who d'you reckon it was?"

They didn't even ask what he was talking about.

"Well, it wasn't any of us." Peter said, but there was a hesitation in his voice, and he gave Sirius an odd look.

"What are you looking at me like that for?"

"I wasn't!"

Sirius threw up his arms in frustration. "Sure Wormtail, I've been practicing Avada Kedavra, I'm going to use it on you all while you're sleeping."

"That's not funny Padfoot." Remus said quietly.

"Neither is Peter acting like I was throwing around unforgivable curses!"

"He didn't say that. And I'm sure he didn't mean that." Said James sternly. "It must have been one of the Slytherins."

"Well, it would have to be either Burke or Nott then."

"No....after Avery tried to disarm you and you petrified him....before Burke tried to hex me..." Sirius gestured to the cut on his cheek, no longer bleeding but still visible. "A whole bunch ofpeople came out of the Three Broomsticks to watch......it could have been any of them too."

"Oh, I hadn't noticed that." James turned his gaze to the other two. "You guys didn't see?"

They both shook their heads. Sirius resumed pacing and went through the whole thing in his head again: Rictumsempra- not a very dangerous curse, but an annoying one, that had been Nott. He had deflected it with Protego. The Reducto, cast by Burke,had caught him across the cheek and caused the cut, and Remus had used the Stupefy. And then Sirius had petrified Nott before he could react, but he hadn't seen who had used the unforgivable curse. "Damn." He said aloud.

"Maybe you ought have Madam Pomfrey get rid of that cut." Peter suggested.

"Nah." Sirius shrugged. "I think it makes me look sexy."

_____________

15. Fixed Points of Reference

Hmm, a lot of you seem to be saying “when are they going to be getting together already?” Consider it like this, she used to really hate him, she’s not just going to fall into his arms.  They will get together, but slowly.  Patience my dears…

Chapter 15- Fixed Points of Reference

They stayed in their room until it was time for dinner, and then decided they may as well face the common room, since they had to eat some time. When they came into the common room, there was none of the usual dull roar of a Saturday evening after a Hogsmeade day. It was strangely quiet and subdued. James thought the rest of his house was having a rather extreme reaction to the loss of points. After all, it was still early in the year, they'd make it up.

"Really you lot, cheer up, it's only a hundred points. Hufflepuff loses that many on a good day." He said bracingly. A few people turned depressed faces to them. Then Maureen O'Connor, the fifth-year prefect, held out a newspaper, a special edition of The Daily Prophet, with a headline that screamed "Death Eaters Attack Muggles Throughout England". James felt the blood drain from his face.

"Muggles?" He said incredulously as Remus snatched the paper from his hand. What was the point of that? Just for sport?

"Not just muggles." Maureen said softly. "Families of muggle-born students at Hogwart's."

There was a small cry, and James looked and saw Lily had taken that moment to come downstairs. She gripped onto Flora's shoulder, as though she might collapse.

"Was it..." James didn’t want to ask, didn't want to know. "Anyone in Gryffindor?"

Maureen nodded, her eyes red and watery, about to spill over. "Sam Hughston. McGonagall came and got him a few minutes ago."

James closed his eyes briefly. Sam Hughston was a shy, quiet, but brightsecond year.

"And two kids from Ravenclaw and two from Hufflepuff." Maureen finished.

James knew there was something he should do or say, as Head Boy he should take charge of the situation, but he didn't know what to do, not for something like this.

He felt like they were all looking at him for some sort of guidance, and he was lost. Head Boy, Quidditch captain, he knew that other students looked to him for direction, but he was after all, only seventeen, and he didn't know any more than they did what to do in a tragedy. Finally, he settled on trying to keep a routine, hoping that would provide some sense of comfort.

"I guess we should all be getting to dinner."

This seemed to be received well, it gave the students something to do rather than sit around staring at each other, and they all knew it was all they could do. As they slowly got up and headed in tight groups for the portrait hole, he shot a worried look at Lily, still frozen with her hand on Flora's shoulder. She caught all their looks and met his eyes.

"All right Lily?" He knew she wasn't, but what else was he supposed to say.

Slowly, as though it took great effort, she nodded. "Yes, but I'm not very hungry, I don't think I'm going to go to dinner." She said softly, and turned back up the girls staircase. With a pained look at all of them, Flora followed her.

James's first impulse was to follow her, but he knew from Sirius's experiences he couldn't go up the girls' stair anyway. There was nothing to do but take his own advice and go to dinner.

_________________________________

After dinner, James found the silent, almost palpable depression in the common room too oppressive. Around nine, he told his friends he was going to make sure no Gryffindors were still in the halls. He knew that they were all feeling too subdued to misbehave, but he wanted an excuse to work out some of the restlessness that had settled on him since he'd heard the news.

He found only two second-year Slytherin girls out of their dorm, and was perhaps unnecessarily harsh in taking off points. It didn't make him feel any better. He was about to give it up and go back to the common room, when a voice spoke behind him.

"It is not late James, but I would not expect you to be wandering the halls tonight."

He turned, and found Dumbledore had suddenly, silently appeared behind him.

"No Sir, I was just heading back to the common room."

Dumbledore nodded, but James made no move to go. The question that had lingered in his mind all night long finally came spilling out his mouth, If anyone had the answers, it was Dumbledore.

"Sir, why? Why muggles who couldn't even defend themselves?"

The Headmaster clasped his hands behind him, and turned to look out a window at the Hogwart's grounds. "You know that Hogwart's is protected by ancient magic, James?"

"Yes Sir." He followed the old wizard's thought to his own conclusion. "He couldn't reach the muggle borns in Hogwart's, so he attacked them where he could?"

Dumbledore nodded.

"But Sam Hughston, he's just a kid." James pressed. What possible threat was a twelve-year-old to a powerful Dark wizard?

"Often the innocent are the first blood in a war."

"Is it a war, Sir?"

"Yes." Dumbledore said quietly, doing nothing to soften the blow of the simple word.

"These aren't the last deaths, are they?"

"No James, I fear we will see many more before Voldemort is defeated."

"When I get out of Hogwart's..." He began with conviction.  “I’ll round them up.  I could do it now, I know I’m ready.  We’re just sitting here…”

"James, our side will find your talents to be a great asset, once you have finished with school." The Headmaster laid an emphasis on the last part of his sentence. "What you can do for us now is to study hard, to learn all you can, and to be a leader to those in your house."

"I don't think I know how to do that Sir. I've felt so useless today. What do I say?"

"I think it is not so much what you say, but that you are willing to listen. Or just willing to be there for her. She will return the favor when you need her."

James cocked his head. Her? He'd thought they were talking about the other Gryffindor students. "Her?"

Dumbledore gave him an enigmatic smile. "When the battle is raging around you James, you will always have a fixed point of reference. You're a lucky man. Now, don't you think it's time you got back to your common room?"

"Er, yes Sir. Good night Sir."

"Good Night James."

He walked slowly back to the common room, wondering if the Headmaster knew something he didn't, or if he was just, as some said, a bit mad.

­­­­­­­­­_______________________________

When James came back into the common room, it was empty except for a few students who were not making any noise. He slumpedonto a couchin front of the fire and stared into the flames. Your talents will be a great asset to our side, Dumbledore had said. He wondered what side that was? The Ministry? He planned to work for the Ministry, as an Auror. He thought of the other students at Hogwart's, many of who might, possibly already had, joined the ranks of Voldemort. Would he someday fight against, maybe even kill, the people he sat in classes with? Or they might kill him.

All of it was giving him a headache. He did not know how long he sat there, and he was unaware of the others leaving and going up to bed. It was very late when he heard footsteps behind him and sat up.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't think anyone was down here." She turned to go.

"No, don't go! It's okay, I'm just brooding." He said quickly. She hesitated, and then shrugged and came and sat on the couch, on the opposite side from him, tucking her feet under her.

"I couldn't sleep." She said, unnecessarily.

“Me either.”  He admitted.  “Are you all right?”

She shrugged.  “Sure.”

He knew she wasn’t “all right” any more than anyone that night, but he let that pass.  They sat in silence for some minutes, but it was not an uncomfortable silence, just each with their own thoughts.

“Do you know what I thought?”  She said suddenly.  “I mean, when we came downstairs, and I heard Maureen say parents of muggle-born students?”

“You thought it was your family.”  He supplied.  That was obvious, of course.  He would have had the same reaction.

She nodded briefly.  “But then, when she said it was Sam’s parents….”  She trailed off, looking down at her hands.

“What?”  He pressed.

“I was glad.”  She whispered.

He stared at her.  “Of course you were Lily.  You were glad your family was okay.  That’s totally normal.”

“But Sam!  He’s just this poor little boy.  And all I could think about was that I was so glad it wasn’t me.”

This time, thought James, but he didn’t say it aloud, he wasn’t that stupid.  Instead, he moved a little closer to her on the couch, still careful not to touch her.

“Listen Lily, just because you were glad that your parents were okay doesn’t mean you don’t care about Sam.  You can’t feel guilty over that, it’s what you’re supposed to feel!”

He spoke with conviction, but she said nothing and he wasn’t sure if she believed him.  He would have taken her hand, as a gesture of support or something, but he had no idea how she would react.  It was a long time before she spoke again.

“Aren’t you ever afraid Potter?”

His first impulse was the typical male reaction- of course not!  But then he sighed.

“Sure I am.”  He said gruffly.  “My Dad’s an Auror, you know.  I mean, every day he’s dealing with those kind of wizards.  I could never be as brave as him.  And I’m always scared one of them is going to get him.  And then what would I do?”  He finished rhetorically.

“I’m scared that Death Eaters will go after my parents and sister, and it will be all my fault.  They wouldn’t be targets except for me.  I dragged them into all this danger and violence.”

“That’s not true.  You didn’t drag them into anything.  They love you, they’re proud of you!”  He didn’t know that for sure, but he couldn’t imagine how they could not be proud- the first witch in an all muggle family.

“I just wish I knew what was going to happen.”  She finally finished.

“And here I thought you didn’t believe in divination.”  That actually got him a small smile, and he felt like he’s won the quidditch world cup.  “I think sometimes it’s better to not know what’s coming.”

They sat in companionable silence, not really needing to talk.  James closed his eyes- just briefly.  But when he opened tem again, the fire had died, the room was dark, and Lily was asleep, her head resting on his shoulder.  As he smiled, James reminded himself that it might not mean she’d like him tomorrow, but it was a start.

16. Progress

The Slytherin girl-  at this point she exists to torment him because I find it amusing, but she will be important, and yes, you will find out who she is in a little while.

Chapter 16- Progress

The attacks were certainly not forgotten, but over the next week the darkness that had settled over Hogwart’s seemed to lift.  The routine of classes and homework was actually comfortable and familiar, providing a sense of continuity.  Slowly the knot that had formed in Lily’s stomach when she heard about the attacks on the families of muggle borns started to loosen, and she allowed herself to be drawn out of hiding in her bedroom by Flora and Alice.

She seemed to have formed a cautious truce with James as well, she had not forgotten how nice he had been that night in the common room, though she would absolutely curl up with embarrassment if he’d known she fell asleep on this shoulder.  Luckily, he had been asleep as well, and she’d left before he woke up.  She had not mentioned anything of it to her friends, but it had actually been pleasant, and strangely…comfortable.

He caught up with her on Friday afternoon as she was leaving herbology, dressed in his robes for quidditch practice, which she secretly thought were rather nice looking.  The bright Gryffindor colors suited him.

“So Evans, I was thinking maybe we should get together later tonight and see if we could get that defense club set up again?  I mean, with everything that’s happened, I think it would be good to get it going.”

Of course, she had forgotten all about it when they had been fighting.

“Sure, that’s a good idea.”

“Great!  I’ll meet you in the common room after practice, if that’s okay with you?”

“Okay.”

“Brilliant.”  He ran a hand through his hair, and she realized it did not annoy her nearly as much as it used to.  “I’ll see you later I guess.”

=====

Remus was rather surprised to find Flora in the library on a Friday afternoon, sitting at a table with her charms book and a clean piece of parchment in front of her.  She was not generally the sort to do her homework on Friday afternoons, she generally left it to Sunday night.  Late Sunday night.  He joined her at the table.

“Are you working on your charms essay?”

She gave a sort of vague nod.  “Yeah, want to join me?”

For about fifteen minutes he worked diligently, but he slowly became aware she wasn’t doing anything, just staring at a blank piece of parchment while her books remained closed.

“Are you waiting to see if the essay does itself?”  He inquired politely.

She shrugged.  “What’s the point?”

“Well, you see, that’s how the system works.  They assign the homework, and we do the homework.”

“No point in getting good grades.  It’s my job to disappoint my family.”

He frowned, guessing that had something to do with the howler she had received over her part in the Hogsmeade mess.  She wasn’t exactly studious, but she was smart and her grades were decent.  Certainly not bad enough to be a disappointment.

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Sure it is.  It’s my sister’s job to make them proud.  She’s perfect.  And it’s my job to not live up to that.”  She picked at the edge of her parchment listlessly.  “It’s always ‘why can’t you be more like your sister, she was a prefect, she had perfect grades, she never got in trouble’.  It’s not like I’m failing all my classes and wreaking havoc.”  She looked up and gave him an unconvincing smile.  “I’m sorry.  You just wanted to do your essay and here I am whining at you.”

“No, that’s okay.”  He said quickly, laying down his quill.  “I don’t have any brothers or sisters, but I don’t see how your sister could be any better than you.  Grades aren’t everything you know.”

She raised an eyebrow and gave him a more genuine smile.  “Who are you and what have you done with Remus Lupin?  This from the boy who’s had the best grades in class since first year.”

“That was just to keep James’s head from getting too big.”

“I don’t think it worked.”

“I think that myself some days.”

She opened her book and picked up a quill.  “All right then.  Just for you I’ll do the homework.  I wouldn’t want to shake the system.”

=====

Lily was indeed sitting in the common room when he returned from quidditch practice.  He took a moment to admire the way the firelight played over her hair before he approached her and took the chair across from her.

“How was practice?”

He was a little surprised.  Had she just expressed interest in quidditch?

“It went pretty well.”  He replied cautiously.  “I think we’ll beat Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw no problem.  Slytherin might be a bit more of a challenge.”

“They always are, aren’t they?”  She replied.  “I know McGonagall really wants to win the house cup this year.”

“I reckon we’ve got a pretty good chance.  I’d like to win it too, this being our last year and all.”  A little jolt, a mixture of excitement and fear always skipped through him when he remembered that, that after this year they’d be out of Hogwart’s and on their own.  He shook it aside.

“So I think Wednesday night would be good for meetings?  I mean, I don’t think there are any quidditch practices that night, and so the most people would be able to come.”

“Maybe, when we put up fliers about it in the common rooms, we should put a sign up sheet too?  So we know how many people to expect?”

“That’s a good idea, then we can know how big of a room we need.”

He leaned over to see what she was writing.  “First meeting next Wednesday then?”

“Right.”  He agreed.  She copied the information they had decided onto three more pieces of parchment, one for each of the house common rooms.  Then she stood and marched over to the notice board and tacked one of them up.  A few first years looked at it with interest, and as she came back there was an excited chatter from their little group as they crowded around.

“Well Potter, it looks like we just started a club.”

=====

He spotted her sitting alone on a bench in the courtyard.  It was a bit cold out, but pleasantly sunny.  James was at quidditch practice, Remus was probably studying, and he wasn’t sure where Peter had gotten off to, but Sirius was bored.  So without being invited, he strolled over and sat next to her, stretching out his legs and crossing his arms behind his head.

“I give up.”  He announced.

“Someone alert the Daily Prophet.”  She replied boredly, not even glancing at him.

“I mean it, I can’t figure out your name.”

“How disappointing.  I was only just getting started.”  She glanced up from her book long enough to smirk at him, but then proceeded to ignore him.

“So are you going to tell me?”

She stretched out her own legs, mirroring his pose, and Sirius could not help but admire.  He’d always thought those damn Hogwart’s skirts were too long.

“Might be I was going to tell you.”  She remarked after a few moments.  “Until you started leering at me.  Now I’m not.”

“But-“

“You can’t stand it, can you?  That there are girls at this school who don’t melt into little puddles at your feet?  Get over yourself Black, then I might consider it.”  She threw her bag over her shoulder and walked off without looking back.

=====

“Well, only a week, and I think we’ve earned back all the points we lost last week in Hogsmeade.”  Flora remarked cheerfully as they got ready for bed that night.  All week the seventh year Gryffindors had been on a mission to rectify things with the rest of their house by earning back the hundred points they’d lost in Hogsmeade.  It hadn’t been so hard when they set their minds to it, and they were especially pleased because Slytherin had not yet managed to earn back all the points they had lost.

“We lost in Hogsmeade?”  Alice repeated, raising an eyebrow.  “I think not my Dear, I had no part in all that, if you recall.”

“Just because you were hidden away somewhere shagging Frank.”  Replied Flora bluntly.

“Flora Margaret McKinnon!”  Alice practically shrieked, turning an impressive shade of dark red.

“Notice, she is shocked, but she doesn’t actually deny it.”  Flora said conversationally to Lily, who wisely did not say anything.

“That’s not…I mean we weren’t…it isn’t…” Alice sputtered, finally giving up and dragging the blankets over her head with a groan and some muttering about stupid roommates and how some people had no idea what they were talking about.

“Speaking of such things, what about you and Potter?”  Flora continued to Lily.

It was Lily’s turn to be shocked.  She couldn’t even believe that “shagging” and “Potter” should be used in the same conversation.  The absurdity of it struck her speechless for a moment.

“WHAT?!”

“Well, I just mean you two seem to be getting on.  I’ve seen you have several conversation with him with no punches being thrown.”

“That hardly means I like him.  Maybe we’re just being civil and acting our age.”

“Hm.” Was the maddening reply.

17. The Dueling Club

Don’t worry about Remus.  I love him as much as the next girl, and I’ve got plans for him.

You will find out the Slytherin girl’s first name in this chapter, which is irrelevant, since it’s her last name that’s important.  And no, she is not in the real Harry Potter Books, since I just made her up.

Chapter 17- The Dueling Club

The dueling club idea had been very popular, but Lily did not realize quite how popular until she found herself facing well over a hundred students.  There were so many of them- Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, even some Slytherins- that they had to have the meeting in the Great Hall, it was the only place big enough to hold them all, especially when they started throwing spells around. 

She wasn’t sure exactly how to begin, so she was relieved when James took charge, climbing up on the table and clapping his hands for them all to quiet down.

“Okay, well, um, I’m James, and uh…welcome everyone.  This is our first meeting, and we thought it would be good for us all to learn some basic dueling skills and ways to defend ourselves…because of…”  James trailed off as he saw the face of one of the Hufflepuff girls who had lost her family.  “Because it’s a good idea.”  He finished bravely.  “So we thought we’d start with the basics, the disarming spell, Expelliarmus.  It’s pretty easy, even for first years-“  He smiled at a few shy first year girls, who blushed and giggled.  “-but it’s an important thing to know.”  He glanced around, and no one, not even the Slytherins, argued.  “Okay, so I’ll demonstrate it, and then you all can pair up and try it.  And, um, Evans can help me demonstrate.” 

She had figured he would have Sirius or Remus, who he was more used to trading spells with, but she didn’t want him to think she was scared, so she nodded., taking up a position facing him, about five paces away.  “Okay, so on three.  One…two…three!”

“Expelliarmus!”

They both cast the spell at the same time, but it was James’s wand that went spinning out of his hand.  Someone in the crowd caught it and passed it back to him.  He grinned and shrugged.  “Okay, so, that was really good.  That’s pretty much how it works, so why doesn’t everyone pair up, and make sure you’re with someone in your own year, we don’t want any first years dueling with seventh years or anything.”

Soon people were busily engaged in disarming each other, some with more success than others.  James shot her a bright smile from where he was helping some inept first years, and Lily felt her cheeks flush, and turned away quickly, ostensibly to help a third year retrieve her wand from the banners that hung behind the tables.

=========

Sirius had spotted her right at the beginning of the meeting, standing near the back with a group of girls who appeared to be Ravenclaws. In fact, he was sure one of them was a seventh year Ravenclaw, because he had asked her out in fourth year. She had been prettier then. But he thought it a rather good sign that she was going about with Ravenclaws...maybe she didn't like Slytherins either. He had to wait until the end of the meeting to actually get near her, although he had a good time shooting jelly legs curses at Slytherins when James and Lily weren't looking.

He wandered to the back of the Great Hall and intercepted one of the Ravenclaw girls (Not the one he had dated, that hadn't worked out). He put on his most charming smile.

"So, that Slytherin girl you were talking to...." He trailed off and allowed her to fill in the name.

"Oh, you mean Arianna?"

"Right, that's it." He grinned. Apparently her influence only extended to her own house. "What was her surname again?"

The girl gave him a weird look. "I don't know, she's mostly just friends with my roommate. Why?"

"No reason. Thanks." He walked away feeling quite pleased with himself. Arianna. It would have been better to find out her full name, of course, but that was good enough.

=========

“I think that went really well.”  James said happily as they cleaned up and replaced the tables in the Great Hall, as they had promised the Headmaster they would, after everyone had left.  Aside from throwing out two Slytherins who had thought it would be fun to hex the noses off of Hufflepuff first years, it had gone smoothly and everyone had seemed to enjoy themselves.  Lily had even seen a few first years jumping up and down in victory as they’d managed to disarm someone for the first time.

“You did a really good job, telling everyone what to do and everything.”  She agreed, and then glanced up from levitating chairs back into place.  “Did you let me disarm you on purpose?”

He blushed, which answered her question, and irritated her considerably.  It wasn’t as though he had to let her win, she could take him in a duel any day, without him giving her breaks.

“You don’t have to go easy on me Potter.”

“Well, I didn’t want to hurt you or anything.”

Her eyes darkened.  Immediately, he saw his mistake.  Oh Gods James, how does that foot taste?

“Okay, now that came out wrong-“  He began, trying a pre-emptive strike.

“You arrogant-“

“Lily, that’s not what I meant-“  He interrupted, trying to make his point before she exploded.  “I know you’re a good dueler and I know you could hex me into next week, and I have a bad feeling you’re about to.  I just meant that I caught you off guard by asking you to demonstrate with me, and since it was just a demonstration I didn’t mean it to be like a real duel, and…”  He trailed off miserably, watching her nervously.  The angry look had cleared slightly, and he wondered if she believed him, despite the complete mess he had just made of an explanation.

“You couldn’t hurt me Potter.”  She said acidly.

He bristled a little at that.  He was, after all, a fairly powerful wizard.  In a real dueling situation, they could probably both do a fair amount of damage.  But he was also a smart wizard, and he knew his best bet at the moment was to agree with her.  He nodded enthusiastically.

She shrugged, and went on levitating chairs back into place, mollified.  “Don’t bother going easy on me next time.”

“Of course not.”  He agreed, relieved.

When the Great Hall was restored to usual, they set off for Gryffindor Tower together.  James cast about for something to say, thinking that this might have been the longest continuous time spent in Lily’s company without actually fighting, though they had come close.

“What do you think we should do next week?”

“Basic shield charms maybe?  Protego is pretty easy.”  She took up the subject with enthusiasm.  “Pretty soon we’re going to run out of things that first years can do, and seventh years are going to start getting bored if we don’t move onto some harder things.  I was thinking maybe we should split them up.  You know, the younger kids can keep working on disarming and shields, but the older ones can start on harder magic.  Can you do a patronus?”

“Sure, I learned it-“  James cut off, having almost said he learned it the same year they had finally figured out the animagus spell.  “-awhile ago.”  He finished.

“That would be a good thing to do.  Maybe we could find a boggart for the third and fourth years…”

She was off, excitedly discussing all the things they could do.  One of the things he had learned about Lily in the past few days, she was a planner, and she was good at it.  He could not have been more pleased that she was excited.  After all, the more effort they put into it, the more time he would get to spend with her.

Gryffindor tower was still fairly crowded when they arrived back, and they both paused awkwardly just inside the portrait hole.

“Well, I guess I’m going to work on my charms essay.”  She said vaguely.

“Um, well, I’ve been meaning to do mine too.  D’you mind if I do it with you?”

“Sure.”  She was all business again, sitting down and purposefully pulling out her charms book.  With no options to distract her with something more interesting.  He decided that spending more time with Lily Evans was certainly going to improve his homework.

========

“Is it just me, or are Mr. Potter and Miss Evans getting along very well?”  Murmured a voice in Remus’s ear, and he turned in surprise to see Flora, grinning at him.  He had, in fact, been watching Lily and James with some surprise, since they appeared to be studying together amiably, occasionally commenting on some aspect of the homework.

“It would appear that way.”  He agreed.  “Has he put her under the Imperius Curse do you think?”

“Or maybe a Confundus charm?”  She suggested.  “Or maybe he stopped being such an insufferable prat.”  She finished, with a shrug.

Remus raised an eyebrow.  “Well, I never really thought he was an insufferable prat, since we’ve been friends since first year.”  He offered.

She nodded, seemingly not at all perturbed that he’d disagreed with her.  “I know.”  She agreed suddenly serious.  “I always wondered how you lot became such good friends.  You seem so different from the two of them.”  She nodded toward James and was apparently including Sirius, although he was not in the room.

“We’re not so different.”  Remus said mildly.  “I’m just better at not getting caught.  And none of that really matters, they’re still the best friends I could imagine having.  They’ve stood by me, through a lot.  Things most people wouldn’t.”

She was giving him an odd look, and he wondered if he’d said too much.  “Anyway, someone has to keep them in line.”

=========

The common room emptied out, and still James and Lily worked.  He wasn’t going to leave until she did.  He had since finished the charms essay and had moved on to potions.  She was still working on the charms essay but had written far more than was required.  It was McGonagall who had told him it was her favorite class, and that appeared to be true.  Since then he had taken to watching her in that class, and he had seen she never performed less than perfectly.  The charms in the seventh year curriculum were obviously child’s play to her.

“It’s getting pretty late.”  He said finally, and she looked at her watch in surprise.

“Oh, you’re right!”  She finished her last sentence with a flourish.  “I’m done anyway.”

They both packed up their books, and Lily threw her bag over her shoulder. 

“Well, G’night.”  He said, suddenly self-conscious.

“Yeah.  This was fun tonight James.”

Yes!  She called me James!  “Yeah, it was.” 

There was an awkward silence, and then she gave him a nervous smile.  “See you tomorrow.”  Quickly, she rose up on her toes and kissed his cheek, and the turned and fled up the girls’ staircase as fast as she could run.  James stood in the common room for a good five minutes grinning before he remembered to walk up to his room.

18. Consequences of a Kiss

Someone asked if Lucius Malfoy was at school the same time as them.  I used the timeline from Harry Potter Lexicon for this, and according to that he graduated in their first year.  Funny you should ask that now though…

Chapter 18- Consequences of a Kiss

Lily woke up early the next morning in a very good mood. She yawned, and tried to remember why she was in such a good mood.

"Oh shit."

She remembered in the next moment that she had kissed James Potter. Voluntarily. Yes, it had been only a kiss on the cheek, but still. What in the world had possessed her to do something so stupid? Now he was going to go assuming she liked him. Did she? No! Absolutely not! He was James Potter after all.

"Something you'd like to share Lily?"

Unfortunately, Alice was awake, and very curious as to what had brought about her friend's uncharacteristic vulgarity. Lily glanced at the sleeping forms of Flora and Emily. Flora was one of her best friends, and Lily loved her, but this was not something she ought to know. She would make up a memo and circulate it to all of Hogwart's. Or at the very least tell Sirius and Remus and Peter. Except that Potter would probably tell them first...

"Damn."

Alice raised an eyebrow.

"Are you going to tell me or is it just your morning to practice your profanity?"

Lily closed her eyes. "I think I kissed Potter."

There was a long moment of silence, during which she kept her eyes closed.

"You think you kissed him? Are you not sure? Have you somehow forgotten what kissing entails? Has it really been that long Lily?"

Lily opened her eyes in a glare. That was the thing people didn't know about Alice. She might seem quiet and sweet, but she could be sarcastic.

"On the cheek." She specified.

"Oh. Well. Why?"

"I don't know!" She turned over and buried her face in her pillow. "He was being nice and normal and totally un-Potter-like.  And he was standing there and he looked sort of…sweet.”  At Alice’s skeptical look, sure buried her face in her pillow again and tried not to scream.

“Lily, do you like him?”  It was not an accusation, just a question.

She tried to look both stern and annoyed, and failed miserably at both.  “Alice, I think you know that answer to that.”

“No, I’m fairly certain I don’t.  And what’s more important, I don’t think you do either.”  And with that cryptic answer, Alice left her there thinking about it.

======

James found himself whistling as he brushed his teeth and combed his hair the next morning (He did, in fact, comb his hair regularly, though everyone else might think otherwise. It was just that it made no real difference.) He did not notice his roommates exchanging perplexed looks. Finally as he was straightening his tie, humming a little tune to himself, his friends' patience ran out.

"Prongs, what the bloody hell are you so damn happy about?"

Sirius was not a morning person.

However, nothing could ruin his mood this morning. He turned to them with a dazzling smile. "She kissed me."

He was rewarded by three completely blank looks. Then,

"Who?"

"Evans?"

"Voluntarily?"

"On purpose?"

"Did she know it was you?"

"Did you put an imperius curse on her?"

James couldn't even manage a decent glare he was in such a good mood.  His grin widened even more, if that was possible.  “Last night, right before we went to bed.  She said she’d had a really nice night, and then she kissed me on the cheek.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and made a disgusted noise.  “Is that all?  I kiss my grandmother on the cheek.”

“I thought your Grandmother’s dead.”  Peter pointed out.

“I was trying to make a point Wormtail.”

"What our incredibly tactless friend is saying Prongs, is that it's not exactly as though Lily has agreed to have your children or anything." Remarked Peter, who, for someone who had little success with women, apparently had a lot to say on the subject, James thought a little sourly. He turned his gaze to Remus, hoping for a little more support.

"Well, come on now guys. I think you're downplaying the significance a little too much. I mean, considering the number of times we've seen James with a Lily Evans handprint on his face, I think any physical contact that isn't violence is a step in the right direction." He shrugged. "Especially since it was clearlya gesture of affection. Not every girl is going to jump right into snogging you know." He added with a significant look to Sirius, before turning back to James. "Of course, we won't get too excited yet. Your odds of mucking it up are still pretty high."

======

She was not in charms, their first class of that day.  He reached over and wrote on the corner of Sirius’s parchment.

Where’s Lily?

Sirius raised an eyebrow, and then scribbled under it.

Oops, I seem to have left my super secret magical Lily Evans locating device in my other pocket.  Darn it all.  (How the hell would I know?)

You’re really a jackass, you know that Padfoot?

Why thank you.

Do you think she’s sick?

Well if she’s interested in you, then clearly.

Sod off.

Talking to Sirius was getting him nowhere, he was not close enough to Lily’s friends to pass a note to either one of them.  Miserably, he tried to focus his attention on Flitwick, but he could not keep his mind off Lily.  As soon as class was over, he shot out of his seat and approached Alice.

“Is Lily all right?”

She gave him a strangely thoughtful look.  The nodded and spoke in an unusually warm voice for any of Lily’s friends to use when talking to him.  “Yes, she just has a headache.  I’m sure she’ll be fine by lunch time.”  And then her mouth twitched slightly and she added in an undertone, “Don’t worry, nothing contagious.”

Damn did girls have to tell each other everything?

======

Lily did actually have a headache, though she knew it was brought on by stress more than anything else.  One particular kind of stress in fact.  James.  Alice’s attempt at talking about it had only confused her more.  Did she like him?  Surely not.  She had liked guys in the past and she had always known that she liked them.  Could you like someone without knowing you liked them?  She groaned aloud and tried to stop her mind from running around and around with the same circular thinking.  What she needed was advice.  Alice and Flora were all very well, but she needed someone older.  Her mother?  No, they got on well enough, but Lily did not feel close enough to her to consult her on this.  Petunia?  Not bloody likely.  No, she was on her own with this.

She couldn’t stay in her dorm room forever, but what was she going to do when she saw him again, as she inevitably would?  Act like it never happened seemed to be her best course of action.  The problem was that kissing was an activity that had a natural progression.  It might be just a kiss on the cheek at first, but then….

“Ugh.”  She said aloud, for emphasis.  Though oddly, the idea of kissing James Potter was not nearly as repulsive as it ought to be.  Of course, there had been that dream…

Lily shook her head and go out of bed resolutely.

“I don’t like him, not at all.”  She told the mirror firmly.

“Whatever you say Dear.”

======

That morning at breakfast Sirius was absolutely dying to show off that he'd found out her name.  He didn’t see her at breakfast or for the rest of the day.  It was not until dinner that he spotted her at the Slytherin table.  He planned to address her by name.  Pointedly.  Several times in the same sentence.  But he certainly wasn't going to approach a table full of Slytherins to do so.

"Sirius!" Peter practically yelled in his ear.

"What?!"

"Well I said your name three times but you're so busy staring at her you didn't hear me." He replied sulkily.

"Her?" Across the table, Flora's ears had perked up."Who's he staring at?"

"That Slytherin girl with the dark hair in a ponytail." Muttered Peter, even though Sirius kicked him hard under the table. Alice and Flora both turned around, and then Alice turned back to him, a small furrow had appeared in her brow.

"You don't mean Arianna Malfoy?"

"I...what?!"

"That's who that girl is. With the dark hair sitting next to the girl who looks like a grasshopper?"

Peter and James both snorted at that, and the poor girl was rather thin and gangly and had abnormally large glasses, so the description was apt.  Sirius had two thoughts- first, he could have saved himself a lot of time and effort if he'd just asked Alice, and second....She was a Malfoy?!

"But....but she looks nothing like any of the Malfoys." Lucius Malfoy, who had graduated in their first year, he definitely remembered as being very fair.

"She rather does actually." Said Flora thoughtfully. "Just the hair throws you off."

And although he hated to admit it, she was right.  Aside from her dark hair, the girl had the straight aristocratic nose, the strong profile, and the cool blue-gray eyes that were pure Malfoy.  There was also something less tangible, the way she carried herself, a sort of easy confidence.  He could not believe now that he had not noticed it before.  Sirius had on a few occasions, entirely against his will, come in contact with Lucius Malfoy, but he had not known the family also had a younger daughter. 

He glanced down at his plate, suddenly not very hungry.  He felt as though he’d been tricked somehow.  No wonder she didn’t want to tell me her name.

19. Friends and Families

Did you guys really think Sirius would back off just because she's a Malfoy? That's not like him at all!

I’ve spoiled you guys updating like this, but in the coming weeks I have work conferences, a friend’s wedding, two trips, and I am moving to a new apartment.  October is looking just a little overwhelming now, so if I don’t update as often, sorry about that.

Chapter 19- Friends and Families

James, to his credit, did not mention what Lily had come to think of as "the kissing incident". She knew she was blowing a small kiss on the cheek way out of proportion, but she was just so confused as to what had compelled her to do it. It had seemed the correct thing to do at the moment, and such a bad idea later on. She did not want to give him the wrong idea.

Of course, he knew where he stood with her, she had made it clear enough times. It just seemed that "friendship", which seemed so straightforward with everyone else, was shaky ground with James Potter.

And she was thinking about this as she came back to the common room that evening, thinking about it so hard that she tripped over a chair and landed rather ungracefully on her face in the middle of the common room.

The other students waited to see that she wasn't really hurt, and then began snickering. A hand appeared in front of her, a hand that, looking up, she saw belonged to Remus Lupin.

"Thanks."

He gave her a sympathetic smile. "Long day?"

"You could say that." She sank into a chair, cheeks burning, and rubbing her shoulder that had taken most of the impact. He had apparently interrupted his studying to come to her rescue, and so returned to it, and she took this opportunity to study him. She thought Remus was an interesting boy. They were friendly in a general way, but she didn't feel like she knew him, she guessed few people did, the obvious exceptions being his roommates. Quiet and reserved was the side that everyone saw, and she guessed that although he rarely said much outside of classes, he missed nothing.

"Can I ask you something? About James?"

"Does it involve me revealing his deep dark secrets? Showing you his naked baby pictures?"

"Um...I don't think so...."

"Damn. Well, I suppose you can ask anyway."

"What is he after?"

He sat back and folded his hands, resting his chin on them and looking at her pensively. "I don't think he's entirely sure. But he is genuine. He really does like you and he really does want to know you better. As far as what he expects to come from that...well, he may not be sure yet, but he's being honest with you Lily." He paused long enough for her to consider this, and then added. "Perhaps it's time you were honest with yourself." She stared at him, but he just gave her an enigmatic smile andclosed his book. "It's dinner time." He stood, and she glanced up at him.

"Do you really have naked baby pictures of James?"

A mysterious smile. "I make it a policy to have blackmail material on all the people I live with."

======

Lily was getting a little sick of cryptic, mysterious "advice", first from Alice, and then from Remus. It was making her feel like everyone else knew something she didn't, and she couldn't figure out what. In the six years she had spent hating James Potter, Lily had never thought about him so much, but while she could not get him out of her head, James himself was conspicuously absent.

And maybe that was why he practically gave her heart attack when he slid into a seat across from her the next afternoon in the library.

"Working on homework? I was going to do my arithmancy, do you mind the company?"

"I'm not doing homework, I'm writing a letter, but no, I don't mind."

For a few minutes they worked in silence. James desperately wanted to know who she was writing to, but he wasn't stupid enough to look at her parchment. A sudden and particularly horrible thought occurred to him...what if it was her boyfriend? What if she had some muggle boyfriend she'd met over holidays and she was keeping it a secret from them all because he was a muggle?

"Who are you writing to?" He burst out, trying to make it sound casual and failing miserably.

She looked at him and arched one eyebrow inquiringly. "My parents."

"Oh." Relief rushed through him. He realized he didn't really know anything about her family, except that they were muggles. "Are you close to them?"

She shrugged. "I used to be. But it's kind of hard for them to understand...Hogwart's and stuff. And I don't see them very much, only holidays. I guess we've kind of grown apart. And my sister, she hates magic."

"Hates magic?" The idea was foreign to him. In his life, magic was not something to be liked or disliked, it was just something you were.

"Yeah. But she's getting married soon, and if there's anyone who hates me more than her, it's her fiancé, so I don't reckon I'll see her much anymore anyway."

The idea of someone, anyone, being mean to her bothered him immensely, so much so that he almost didn't hear when she asked "Are you close to your parents?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess I really am. I mean, I'm an only child, so I guess you could say I'm pretty spoiled, but my Mum and Dad are really great."

"Oh, mine are too." She said quickly. "It's just...it must be nice to have people...you can go to. People who understand magic. I mean, like grown-ups, not other students."

"Yeah, it is." He admitted, realizing for the first time how isolated she must sometimes feel. She always seemed so together and so in-control.

She suddenly seemed to think she'd given away too much, because she suddenly folded up her parchment. "I'm going to go send this. See you later."

"Lily wait!" She paused and he realized he had no idea how to put into words what he wanted to say. "Nevermind. I'll see you later."

======

Sirius could not help but be amused by his friends. Such a studious little bunch of Gryffindors. He, however, was not going to spend a beautiful Saturday afternoon, probably the last day warm enough to be outdoors for the year, with studying. He had succeeded in dragging them outside to study at least. So while they read he was stretched out in the grass, wondering what they would do without him forcing them to relax a bit. Honestly, that Evans was having a bad effect on James- he never used to study this much.

Casting around for some form of entertainment, he saw her sitting at the edge of the lake with two other Slytherin girls. The one who Alice had said looked like a grasshopper, and a blond one who was actually, aside from being in Slytherin, rather pretty.

"You're staring." Peter said shortly.

"Shut up." He replied automatically, but did drag his eyes away from her. The exchange was not lost on James though.

"Sirius, mate, you need to let that one go. You know as well as I do the Malfoys are trouble. You don't want to get mixed up with that."

He didn't reply, but he knewProngs was right, the whole Malfoy family was trouble. They were good friends with his parents, and that said a lot.

Out of the corner, he saw the group get up, and thought it just as well that they were leaving. But as two of the girls walked back towards the castle, she was still sitting by the lake, alone.

Sirius folded his hands behind his head. She was a Malfoy, and that could be nothing but bad. He felt cheated, after all the trouble he'd gone to finding out who she was. And it had been amusing too, although he might not admit it, he liked a challenge. And since when did he let James tell him what to do anyway?

"I'll catch you guys later." He remarked, brushing off grass off his clothes as he got up.

"Sirius...really, I think you should...." James’s voice died off hopelessly, and Sirius ignored him anyway, along with a disapproving sound from Peter.

She barely seemed to notice as he seated himself on the grass next to her.

"Good afternoon, Arianna Malfoy."

"Good afternoon, Sirius Black." She retorted, mimicking his coy tone but giving away nothing on the fact that he had figured out her name. Since she had made it into such a game he thought it something of an accomplishment and this annoyed him a little.

"I figured out your name." He pointed out finally, when it became apparent she was not going to comment on it.

"Yes, and it only took you a month. Aren't you the clever one."

"Aren't you going to ask how?"

"I might, if I was actually interested. I'm not."

"You don't like me, do you?"

"Actually Black, I'm indifferent to you. I don't care enough to actively dislike you."

"So indifferent that you bothered to threaten everyone in Slytherin not to tell me your name?"

"That didn't take much. Hard though it may be to believe, they're not all that eager to talk to you."

"More's the pity for them." He shrugged, and changed the subject. "What are you reading?"

"We call them books. I know you may not be acquainted with them personally, but surely you've seen them lying around."

"I'll have you know I'm near the top of my class in every subject."

"Am I meant to be impressed? You're so impressed with yourself it hardly seems necessary for me to pretend."

"I was merely responding to your dig about books, Miss Malfoy. I am not entirely unfamiliar with the concept of reading."

She closed her book, and finally deigned to look at him. "You're not nearly as interesting as you think Black."

"No? And yet you're still talking to me." He stood up and looked down at her from his considerable height. "We're more alike than you think Arianna."

20. The Best Laid Plans

This is not my favorite chapter, but I used it to chivvy the plot along a little.  We are now half way there, this story has 40 chapters total.

Chapter 20- The Best Laid Plans

"Do youthink you're going home for the Christmas holidays?" Sirius asked all of them in general the next day in transfiguration. They were supposed to be conjuring mice, but he was sitting on one of the desks, twirling his wand idly, while Peter examined, with some dismay, his woefully small mouse, which seemed to be lacking its legs and tail. The question sounded casual enough, but James knew quite well Sirius did not want to be the only one staying at Hogwart's for the holidays, which were fast approaching.

"Not sure yet, I haven't talked to my Mum and Dad yet." James replied just as casually. "But I reckon they'd like to see you too."

He shrugged. "Nah, I mean, Christmas is really for family, isn't it."

James raised an eyebrow, although he kept his eyes on his mouse. "You are family."

Perhaps feeling that the conversation had gotten too serious for his taste, he jumped down off the desk and in a particularly impressive bit of magic, transfigured Peter's bag into a cat. A cat in a room full of mice had exactly the sort of effect he had been going for- chaos.

The class then ended with McGonagall vanishing everyone's mice, and the cat, in one swoop of her wand, and giving him detention, although that had never done much good over the past seven years.

======

The talk of holiday plans had brought to James's attention a very serious matter. Should he get Lily a Christmas present, and if so, what? Of course, he had to get her something, as a sign of "friendship", but what would she like? His first instinct was to drop a huge pile of gold for something really expensive and flashy, but upon considering it more, he guessed Lily was really not the type of girl to be impressed by that. No, he could not buy his way out of this situation; he was going to have to think of a "thoughtful" gift. Girls loved that kind of stuff. It was a good thing Padfoot brought it to his attention so early; this was really going to require some thought.

If she was going to stay at Hogwart’s for the holidays, as he recalled some years she did and some years she didn’t, maybe he should stay too.  He frowned and looked in the mirror.

“Am I really the kind of man who re-arranges his schedule based on a girl?”

“Well, yes, I’d say so.”  The mirror replied.

======

“So, what are you doing for Christmas?”

Right, so it wasn’t the most subtle way of bringing about the conversation, but Remus had decided desperate times called for desperate measures, so he tossed it out at Flora the moment she came into the library.  James had been spending every waking moment analyzing whether or not Lily Evans would go home for the holidays and Remus had decided to find out just to shut him up.  After all they had exams at the end of term, and some people had to study. He figured if he asked Flora what she was planning, he could then bring the conversation around to what Lily was doing.  She frowned at him.

“How come?”

He shrugged.  “Everyone’s starting to make plans, I was just curious.”

“I always go home.  My parents insist.  They have this huge party every Christmas, it’s like a tradition.”  She shrugged without much enthusiasm.  “Lily might stay with me.  That would make it far more bearable.  I think she’s really dreading going home, her sister and all.”

“I see.”

She narrowed her eyes a moment.  “Hey, wait a minute…did Potter put you up to asking?”

His pause before denying it was just a beat too long, and she knew.

“That idiot, why doesn’t he just ask her himself?”

“He’s not sure how she’ll react I guess.  Girls are pretty unpredictable, you know.”

She made no comment to disagree with that, just bit her bottom lip thoughtfully.  “I don’t figure she’d mind.  She’s slowly coming around.  She’ll see the light before much longer.”

“You think?”

“Quite sure.”

“I don’t know…”

“Oh?  Well, why don’t we make it interesting with a small wager?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“I have ten galleons on them dating by the end of the Christmas holidays.”

“Ten galleons?”  He looked skeptical.

“Well, if you’re too scared…”

“You’re on.”

======

Flora’s suggestion that she stay for most of the holidays had been something of a relief for Lily.  Her parents would insist on her being home on Christmas Day of course, but beyond that she wanted to avoid Petunia as much as possible, and she certainly didn’t want to participate in planning Petunia’s wedding.  Not that Petunia or Vernon would want her help.  Staying with Flora was a good compromise, and apparently the party her parents gave every year was quite posh.

The holidays were coming up more quickly than she had realized, and so she took one evening in the common room to write up a list of everyone she had to get gifts for and what she might get them.  She heard someone whistling and glanced up to see James come in, from quidditch practice judging by the mud, looking quite cheerful.  He didn’t see her as he tracked mud through the common room, but she suddenly wondered, should she get him something?  She would never have imagined that she would actually consider giving a gift to James Potter, but she had been spending a good bit of time with him with the dueling club and other head girl duties, and he had been perfectly polite and friendly.  It didn’t seem quite right not to get him something.  Something small and inconsequential and completely platonic, of course.

What then?  What did he like?  Well, quidditch.  Himself.

Lily frowned and turned back to her list, wondering what in the world she could get Petunia, and then decided it didn't really matter, her sister would hate anything she got, no matter how mundane and muggle it was. She sighed again

"Something bothering you, Miss Evans? Something to do with my friend Mr. Potter perhaps?"

She wondered how long Sirius Black had been sitting behind her. Clearly, she had not recognized him because he was not causing devastation, as was his usual form of entertainment.

"Of course not, I wasn't even thinking about James. Why assume that?" She snapped, knowing that she sounded irrationally angry.

"The lad fancies you, of course." He said, as though she were incredibly thick. "And you seem a bit confused about things."

"I am not confused at all. James and I are friends. That's all."

Black jumped up, and gave her a brilliant smile. "Famous last words, Lily. Famous last words."

======

"I have an announcement." James said in a voice that suggested he was about to announce his candidacy for Minister of Magic.

"Let me guess, it's about Lily?"

"Actually, no. At least not directly. Since Moony here has successfully, through sources he will not name, discovered that Lily Evans will not be at Hogwart's for the Christmas holidays, I see no reason for myself to stay. So I am inviting you all to spend the holidays at my house, where we shall all wreak havoc and terrorize my parents, of course." He sat back and crossed his arms, satisfied.

There was a moment of silence, which Peter broke.

"Well, I'm in. I mean, I know my Mum will insist on me being home for Christmas Day and everything, but other than that I'm sure it will be fine."

Remus nodded slowly. "Ditto for me on the actually being home for Christmas thing, but other than that I'm in. We really ought to, you know, it being our last school holiday and all that."

They all turned expectantly to Sirius, who rolled his eyes and sat up. "You lot are so transparent." He struck a highly theatrical pose and mimicked James. "Golly gee, I do sure wish you all would stay with me for the holidays mates, and then you two pipe up in agreement, and you're all really bad at acting. Just something you might want to remember when you consider future careers," he added, with the air of doing them a favor.

"I don't know what you're talking about." James lied bravely, despite the fact that it's hard to lie convincingly to your best friend since first year.

"Look, I see what you guys are trying to do, albeit badly, and I appreciate it. Furthermore,I do hope we spend some time together over the holidays. But I don't want you all to give up spending time with your folks just to keep me company. As it happens, I have some things to take care of over the holiday."

"Some things to take care of? Why does that sound so ominous? What things?"

"I'm wounded Prongs, you always think the worst of me." He actually looked rather proud of it. "But actually I have to get some things and do some work on my house."

He said this carelessly, as thought they wouldn't even comment on it.

"Uh, mate...you don't have a house."

"Actually, I do." He said nothing more. There was almost a full moment before Peter exploded.

"All right fine, I'll bite. What the bloody hell are you talking about?"

"I bought a house." He said simply, as calmly as one might talk about buying sweets from Honeydukes.

There was a stunned silence, so he went on. "With the money my Uncle Alphard left me, remember? I mean, I do have to think about where I plan to live after Hogwart's. I can't stay with your folks forever James, and since I'm legal age now, I bought a house. It's not really big or anything, but I kind of like it." He shrugged.

"Oh...well." James didn't like to admit it, but he hadn't realized Sirius thought that far ahead. "Wow, can we see it?"

"I'll think about it, if you’re nice to me."

21. That Which We Are

Yay, in this chapter, we see a little of a serious Sirius. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist)

Chapter 21- That Which We Are

With Peter setting his eyebrows aflame with the exploding snap cards, and James accepting a dare to see how many chocolate frogs he could eat without getting sick, no one really noticed that Sirius was unusually quiet and subdued during the train ride back to King's Cross for the holidays.

He hated holidays, always had. For him, Hogwart's had been an escape from his family, and he hated the times that sent him back under the critical and disapprovingeyes of his parents. Since he'd run away from home, Hogwart's had been an escape from the fact that he didn't have a family. He knew the Potters genuinely did not mind him staying, he was always made to feel welcome in their home, but seeing the lot of them and how much they loved each other just reminded him that what he came from was the complete opposite. It had been his choice to run away, and given the chance to do it over again he would do exactly the same thing, but that didn't stop him envying his friends and their close-knit families.

He was watching the countryside go by, hills covered in patchy snow, when a loud discussion between Peter and James dragged him out of his stupor.

“I haven’t got any frogs left now!”

“Well, I told you I could eat all of them without getting sick!”

“Well, I didn’t know you were going to take all of them…now I haven’t got any.”

Sirius jumped up restlessly, for some reason more annoyed than he would normally be by Peter’s whining.

“I’ll get you some more damn frogs.”

He didn’t really care if Peter got more frogs, but he felt like he needed to get out of the compartment.  He wandered down the corridor, looking for the trolley with the sweets, when he heard a familiar voice.  Well, two familiar voices really.  He ducked behind a luggage rack, wondering why she was talking to him.

“I already said no.  If you have business with my brother you can deal with him directly, I want no part of it.”  Sirius was quite sure he had never heard her raise her voice before.  They were coming closer so he ducked into the nearest compartment, which was unoccupied.

“It’s just a letter Arianna.”

“I don’t want to be mixed up in the things you two are.  I’m not going to be your messenger Severus.”

She burst into the compartment and shut the door behind her with some force, and then started when she saw him.

“We really have to stop meeting like this.”  He smiled.

She narrowed her eyes at him.  “Were you eavesdropping?”

He considered his options.  He wanted to know what she’d been arguing with Snape about, but he didn’t think she’d tell him if he admitted to eavesdropping.  He decided to play dumb.

“On what?”

“Nothing.”  She muttered, and sat down, managing to make the simple gesture radiate annoyance.

“May I join you?”  He asked politely.

“If I said no, would you leave?”

”Probably not.”  He sat across from her, and fixed her with a thoughtful look.  “Why don’t you like me?”

“Would you like a list?”

“Give me your top two reasons.”  He suggested.

“You’re arrogant and self-centered.”  She replied promptly.

“Hm.”  He raised an eyebrow.  “I would have been happy with “I’m so intimidated by your good looks and charm.”

“Are you flirting with yourself?”

“Impressive, no?”

She made a sound that might have been amusement or annoyance, or possibly a combination of the two.

“So what are you doing for the holidays?”  He changed the subject completely.  She gave him another suspicious look.

“Why?”

“We call it conversation Arianna.  I know you may not be acquainted with it personally, but surely you’ve seen other people having them.”

“I worried about your creativity Black, if you’re borrowing comebacks from me.”

He ignored that comment.  “Why are you sitting in here all alone?”

“I wasn’t, I’m not sure where my friends went.”  She indicated a few other bags and a stack of witches’ magazines that did suggest other people sitting in the compartment.

“Your friend, the one with the blond hair, she’s quite pretty.”  The moment he said that, he wondered why.  Was he trying to gauge her reaction?  Did he want her to be upset that he was interested in her friend?  Did he really expect her to care?  And why did it matter to him if she cared?  Whatever the reason, it didn’t appear to bother her.

“You’re not her type.”  She replied carelessly.  The glanced around.  “Where are your little friends?”

He smiled at this, and then stood, the better to make use of his considerable height.  “I don’t think you’re in much of a position to call anyone “little” Miss Malfoy, if you can still be taken for a third year.”

She stood as well, and despite being far shorter than him, looked him directly in the eye.  He had been intending to say something else, but at that moment, he forgot what it was.

“I’m going to go find my friends.  Merry Christmas Black.”

She turned and was gone.

======

The train pulled into King's Cross station to a crowd of parents milling on the platform waiting for their children. Homesick first years were the first off the train, followed at a more normal pace by the other students. Sirius spotted James's parents, and Peter's Mum, but then his attention was caught by another man, standing slightly to the side looking cool, elegant, and detached-- Lucius Malfoy. Curious, he turned in time to see Arianna step off the train, and was surprised as she scanned the crowd, and then smiled when she saw her brother. Aside from the fact he didn't think Lucius Malfoy was much to smile about, he couldn't remember ever seeing any expression from her that wasn't a smirk. She slipped easily past the crowds towhere he was standing, and much to Sirius's surprise, hugged him. He watched, riveted, because from what he knew about the Malfoys, they did not seem like a very affectionate family. And sure enough, Malfoy extricated himself quickly.

"Please Arianna, you are sixteen, control yourself." The reprimand was quiet, but firm.

When she turned enough for him to get another glimpse of her face, it was again the detached, composed expression, but he stood stunned for a moment, as he realized he had not been far off when he'd told her they were very much alike.

======

James made a mental note to ask Sirius, when they were alone, what exactly was going on between him and the Malfoy girl, but at that moment in the train station, while they were greeting his parents, he was distracted by the fact that Lily had also found her parents, and they appeared to be getting ready to leave.

"Be right back." He hurried across the platform, knocking several other students and their families out of the way. "Lily! Wait!"

He caught up with her, and noted that her parents were giving him a rather odd look. Realizing it would be rude not to do so, he turned to them and stuck out his hand politely.

"Hello, I'm James Potter."

Although a little taken aback by the abruptness of the young man who had just come sprinting across the platform, they both shook his hand.

"Good to meet you James."

"Likewise. I won't keep you, I was just wondering, er..." He had hoped to have time to plan how exactly he was going to phrase this, but he was just going to have to say it. "Would it be okay if I owled you over the holiday Lily? I mean, not a lot or anything, but just once or something?" He was well aware he was sounding like an idiot, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. "I mean, like if I had an idea about the dueling club, or about...um...homework or something." Wow, that has got to be the flimsiest excuse ever. "But if not...uh...that's okay too..."

"It would be fine if you owled me James." She said, not looking the least bit annoyed by his bumbling idiocy. He wasn't sure if she actually wanted him to owl her or if she was just being polite in front of her parents, but he didn't really care, she had said yes anyway!

"Great." There was a momentary pause made even more awkward by the fact that her parents were there. "Great, well, er, Merry Christmas Lily."

"Merry Christmas James."

He walked back to his parents with a spring in his step. Now he just had to figure out what to get her.

======

Lily tried to put on a cheerful face as she left King's Cross with her parents, despite the fact that she had been rather dreading holidays. She was glad Petunia had not come along to the station to collect her, forcing her tobe around so much magicwould have only made her more unbearable.

"So," Her Mum was smiling at her in the rearview mirror. "That was James Potter?"

She nodded, unsure of where this conversation was going.

"You sure did mention him a lot in your letters."

"I...I did not!"

Surely she would not waste space in her letters on James! And if she had mentioned him, it was probably just to tell them what a prat he was.

"Oh you did, nearly every letter, wouldn't you say Dear?"

"At least." Her father agreed.

"I...well, he's justHead boy, so I have to see him a lot, that's all." She finally explained, hating that she sounded so defensive.

"And someone who's "just head boy" made a point of asking if he could write to you over the holidays?"

Lily squirmed under their amused looks, maybe this visit was going to be even more uncomfortable than she'd feared.

======

As James went back to collect his trunk, they were going to take a portkey to their house, his Dad was grinning at him, and over his shoulder James saw Lily disappear out the door with her parents.

“Well she’s pretty.”

Sirius answered for him.  “You’re wasting your time Mr. Potter, you can’t get anything intelligent out of him where Lily Evans is concerned.”

“Oh, so that’s Lily Evans?”

Both of his parents were now looking after the red-haired girl with some interest.

“Perhaps we should go introduce ourselves to her…”

James had turned an interesting shade of dark red and muttered, “Dad!” in a pained voice.

Mr. Potter grinned and threw an arm around his shoulder, and then one around Sirius’s.

“Let’s get going, and Sirius, you can tell us all about Jamie’s girl.”

22. All I Want for Christmas

To answer some questions:

Yes, Voldemort will make an appearance, but the story is mostly about Lily and James.

Yes, the story is already written, you’ve discovered my dirty little secret.  That’s how I manage to update almost every day.

Arianna is one of my pet OC’s, I admit to liking her a lot, and I see a long and dysfunctional relationship between her and Sirius, but that’s another fanfic, and for this one, she’s not going to be very well-developed as a character.

And in this chapter: The Marauders make a plan and Lily (finally) gets a clue.

Chapter 22- All I Want for Christmas

Possible Christmas Gifts for Lily

-Jewelry? Too expensive?  But if it’s platonic jewelry?  Is there such a thing as “platonic jewelry?”

-A Book?  Safe, but kind of boring.  Suggested this idea to Padfoot and he suggested Kama Sutra.  Won’t ask Padfoot for help any more.

-Candy?  You’d think that would be safe, but girls are weird about sweets, it’s related to the “am I fat” thing, which I still don’t get.

-Clothing?  Am not going to buy her robes of course, because would probably buy the wrong size and inadvertently imply she’s fat.  But scarf or something?  Would probably pick wrong color.  Could ask Mum?

“All right, I’m throwing myself upon your mercy.  You have to help me decide what to get her!”

It was the second day of holidays, and James had met his friends in Diagon Alley to do their Christmas shopping.

“Jewelry.”  Sirius replied promptly.  “That’s what you always get girls.  They love it.”

“No, James you absolutely cannot get her jewelry.”  Remus disagreed immediately.  “That’s a “boyfriend” thing, and Lily will definitely be annoyed if you get her something that seems like a boyfriend thing, since, no matter how much you’d like to be, you’re not her boyfriend.”

“Well, what am I supposed to get her?  Dungbombs?”

“You’re a smart wizard James, you’ll figure it out.”

And so he gave them the slip at Quality Quidditch Supplies and wandered through Diagon Alley, hoping something would inspire him.  Despite himself, he found himself stopping in front of Sparkel and Glints Fine Jewelry.  And there, in the window, he saw the very thing that he had been looking for.  He knew he wasn’t supposed to buy her jewelry, but the delicate gold bracelet was exactly the kind of thing she’d like.  It wasn’t big or loud or showy, but quiet and understated and elegant, which was how he thought of Lily.

He stood at the window for almost ten full minutes, trying to decide.  He could hear Remus’s voice in his head “no matter how much you’d like to be, you’re not her boyfriend”.  He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, and then decided, and walked into the shop.

======

"Lily's going to get mad at you James. She's going to think you're trying to buy her. She's too smart to fall for that." Remus sounded dangerously close to scolding as they sat around with butterbeers at Fortescue's.

"Then Lily needs to lighten up." Proclaimed Sirius. "I think it’s very pretty and it's a nice gesture James."

"Thank you Padfoot."

Remus still looked uneasily at the bracelet James had bought her, but decided he had given up on talking James out of it. He knew as well as anything that when James Potter set his mind on something it was pretty much useless trying to change it.

"How are you going to get it to her?"

"Owl her, she said I could."

"Nah, you should give it to her in person, you know, so she can thank you properly."

"Padfoot, how do you manage to make almost anything you say sound dirty?" Peter inquired.

"It's a gift, my friend, maybe someday I'll teach you."

"Anyway, I can't give it to her in person, I won't see her until we're back at school." James insisted, ignoring the innuendo.

"Are you sure of that James?" Sirius pressed, with a look that they all dreaded, it meant he wasplanning something.

"You're thinking." He accused.

"Not a new thing, you realize? You all know the McKinnons have a huge party for the holidays, usually on the day after Christmas, right?"

They nodded, plainly not sure where this was going.

"And Lily is staying with them..."He continued, still to blank looks.

"Sirius, we're not invited. It's her parents' party, Flora doesn't invite people."

"But she'll be there, as will Lily." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh no...Padfoot, we can't gatecrash the McKinnons' party." Remus said firmly, but James jumped up.

"That is a brilliant idea!"

======

Spending Christmas with her family was not the nightmare that Lily had anticipated. Petunia had apparently decided that her best course of action was to pretend that Lily didn't exist, and tobe out with her fiancé Vernon as much as possible. While it was not the ideal sort of sisterly relationship, it was much better than having her sitting there with a pained look and muttering nasty things under her breath. It gave Lily a chance to spend some time with her parents, which was something she had missed perhaps more than she realized. Her parents had never expected anything more than a normal, happy, suburban childhood for their daughters, and the revelation that Lily was a witch had shaken them, to say the least. Still, they tried to stay involved, tried to understand her life, and were proud of her despite the fact they might not have really understood what it meant to get a lot of OWLS, or be in NEWT classes.

It meant a lot to her that they made an effort, and even more so when she realized they must have made a special trip to Diagon Alley to get most of her Christmas presents.  Christmas Day was always quiet at the Evans’ house and this year was no exception.  Lily spent most of the day visiting with various family friends who dropped by to wish them a Merry Christmas or helping her Mum in the kitchen.  Still, she felt a vague anticipation all day, as if she was waiting for something.  Something was bothering her, in the back of her mind, and she couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was.  It was halfway through dinner that she realized it.  She had not expected Christmas gifts from her roommates to arrive by owl, because they would see each other the next day, and would surely exchange gifts then.  But she had wondered if- actually she had expected- that James would send her something.  As she finished dinner in silence, she wasn’t sure what bothered her more, the fact that he had not gotten her a present, or the fact that she was upset that he hadn’t gotten her a present.

She spent the rest of the evening in a sort of haze, brooding about this, annoyed that even when he wasn’t around James could manage to upset her.  She hadn’t realized how obvious her distraction was to the rest of her family until her mother joined her in the living room much later, as she was staring unseeingly into the fire, and handed her a cup of tea.

“Oh, thanks.”  She had been so distracted she had not even heard anyone come in.  She glanced at the clock and saw it was nine.  Petunia had not returned yet, which was just as well.

Her Mum sat down next to her on the couch.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

She almost said “no” but then reconsidered.  Her Mum might not be a witch, but she had always given Lily good advice, and there had been a time when they were very close.  Besides, not being a part of the wizarding world might give her an objectivity that Lily’s friends could never have.  She began hesitantly.

“You remember James?  That boy from the train station?”

Her mother smiled patiently.  “Yes Dear, I remember him.”

“Well, I just thought he might send me a Christmas present, is all.”

“And you wanted him to?”

“No, not really…”

“Really?  Because you seem pretty unhappy about it.  I’m only telling you this because I love you, you need to sort out what your real feelings about this boy are.”

“I already know that!  I can’t stand him!  He makes me so mad.  He’s arrogant and spoiled and pompous and rude and presumptuous and conceited…and…and…”

“Incidentally, “arrogant” and “conceited” mean the same thing, so you’re being rather redundant.”

“Not helping Mum.”

“What are his good qualities?”

“Huh?”

“Well, he’s head boy, isn’t he?  So the teachers must see some redeeming qualities in him.  And he’s quite popular, isn’t he?”  Lily nodded reluctantly.  “So I doubt all the other students at Hogwart’s like someone who has absolutely no likeable qualities.”

Something Flora had said at the beginning of the year floated back to her- “he's cute, he's smart, he's rich, and he’s a decent dancer.”

“Well, he is fairly smart I guess.  He’s good at classes anyway.”  Her mother nodded encouragingly.  “He can be kind of funny.  He used to be kind of a bully, but he doesn’t do that anymore, so now his jokes are more funny than being at someone else’s expense.  And when he actually stops talking about himself he can be interesting.  He’s really incredibly loyal, I mean, to his friends, to his family.  He’s braver than he realizes, whenever something happens, whenever there is something in the newspaper about someone else dying, or another attack, he takes charge.  It’s subtle, it’s unconscious I think, but there this underlying sense of…compassion.  He…”  She realized her Mum was grinning at her, and she realized how long she had gone on.

“All that, and he’s good looking.”  Her Mum took one of her hands.  “You set high standards for yourself Lily, and I’m proud of you for that, but it means you have high standards for everyone else as well.  James isn’t perfect, neither are you, but maybe you’re perfect for each other.”  Her Mum stood and kissed her forehead.  “Don’t stay up too late Sweetie.”  She paused in the doorway.  “Oh, Lily…did you get James a Christmas present?”

“Er…yes…”

“Did you send it to him?”

“Um…no…”

“Why not?”

“Well, I didn’t want to…if he didn’t get me one.”

“Have you thought that maybe James is thinking the same thing?  Maybe you should go ahead and send it.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

======

Flora’s family picked her up the next morning, and it didn’t take Flora, and Alice who arrived right after her, very long to notice that she was unusually quiet and seemed agitated.

“Lily, is something wrong?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Hm, is it family nothing or some other kind of nothing?”

Lily picked at a lace cover on one of the pillows on Flora’s bed.  The room was beautiful, as was the rest of the house.  Lily had known Flora’s family was well-off, but she had not been prepared for the size of their house.  She had only felt uncomfortable for a few moments though, the McKinnons had been so pleasant and welcoming and the house had a warm, lived-in feel to it.  Flora’s Mum had packed them off to her room to unpack and get ready for the party that night.

“I said it’s nothing.”

“And you actually expected us to believe that?”  Alice asked incredulously.  “Don’t you know us at all?”

Lily sighed and didn’t meet either of their looks.

“IthinkImightlikeJamesalittletinybit.”

“What?”

She gritted her teeth.  “I think I might like James.”  She heaved a great sigh and then added “stupid mother” under her breath.

Their reactions were not exactly what she had expected.  Certainly, Flora spat butterbeer all over her desk and Alice had a look like she had just accidentally swallowed too many hopping peppermint toads, but then they both grinned at her, looking far too pleased with this development.

“Well, what are you going to do about it?”  Alice pressed.

“I’m just going to stop liking him, that’s all.  I started, I can stop.”

“Lily, I never thought I’d say this to you, but you are remarkably stupid.  That’s not how it works Lily.  You can’t just turn off feelings.”

“You don’t actually expect me to act on it, do you?”

“Of course we do!”  Exclaimed Flora.  “Snog him senseless girl!”

“Don’t be ridiculous.  You both know what James is like.  He likes the chase.  I let myself fall for him and he’ll get bored in a few months and then where will I be?”

“Lily, that isn’t what he’s like.  Not anymore.  Maybe two years ago I would have believed that, but I think he’s grown up.  He’s liked you for three years Lily, that doesn’t seem like casual entertainment.”

“No, I’m going to do the logical thing.  I’m just going to stop liking him.”

Alice rolled her eyes.  Flora smirked.  “Good luck with that Lily.”

========================

23. Gatecrashers

Of course I’m not going to post the whole story now!  Anticipation is half the fun my Darlings!

Chapter 23- Gatecrashers

Since they only wore uniforms at school, and she wore muggle clothes on the holidays, Lily was not too familiar with what passed for high fashion in the wizarding world, and generally she didn’t give too much thought to such things.  But she absolutely loved the new emerald green dross robes she had for this party, and she could not help but think, as she looked in the mirror, that she did look very nice.

“Oh, you look lovely Dear,” the mirror proclaimed.

Flora turned from her own getting ready and nodded enthusiastically.  “You look fabulous Lily.  Too bad James won’t be around.”

Lily gave her a look and then changed the subject entirely.  “What should I do with my hair?”  She was not accustomed to spending a lot of time or effort on her appearance, and wasn’t sure how to achieve an elegant, and yet sophisticated kind of look she wanted.

“Don’t do anything!”  Alice insisted.  “Leave it down Lily, most girls would kill to have your hair.  Or of it bothers you, just pull the sides back, like this.”

“Oh, that’s perfect, I have a clip…”

So she was pushed firmly into a chair while Flora and Alice played with her hair like she was a doll, and ignoring her protests, also took charge of applying her make-up.

“It’s a shame you two look this good, and no one from school will see you.”  Alice remarked.

“What about you?”

“Well, I look absolutely fabulous as well, but I’m not single.”  She replied logically.

“Anyway, that’s not quite the case.  There will be some people from Hogwart’s around.  If their parents are friends with Mum and Dad.  Stop blinking Lily.  Let’s see, I know Gideon and Fabian Prewett always come.  Edgar Bones will probably come with his folks, he graduated last year, but still he’s pretty nice.  D’you know that second year Bill Weasley?  With the red hair?  His parents will be there.  The Emersons, the Turners.  Basically, there will be lots of people who can go back to Hogwart’s and tell everyone how fantastic we looked.  There you are Lily.  If only James could see you now.”

“You know McKinnon, I’m already seriously regretting telling you about that.”

“Sweetie, I already knew.”

======

“Shh!”

“You’re on my foot!  Get off!”

“Ow, that was my foot!”

“Bugger this, you can’t fit three people under here!”

And a black dog seemingly appeared out of nowhere.  He had, in fact, just emerged from under the invisibility cloak that still covered his two best friends, who were not so lucky.  While dogs and rats might be fairly commonplace in London, stags certainly were not.  And as for werewolves….

It had not taken too much convincing to get Remus to agree to gatecrashing the McKinnons’ party.  After all, for all his good boy act, he was still a Marauder.  The only question had been how to slip past James’s parents, and that was where the invisibility cloak came in.  James had been worried his Dad might catch them, after all it had been his cloak and he probably knew all the tricks, but they had gotten out of the house without much trouble.  Now it was on to the party, which James could only hope would involve Lily and mistletoe in some combination.

The house was lit up entirely for the occasion, and they had no trouble slipping into a back door. 

“Ow!”  Peter transformed and tripped over a jumble of gardening equipment in the darkened hallway.  There was a loud crash as boots and shears and a rake went flying.

“Who’s there?”

A light flickered on just as James grabbed Peter by the collar and dragged him under the invisibility cloak.  That left Sirius standing in plain view as a brown-haired girl peered down the steps from what appeared to be the kitchen.  “Oh a dog!  How did you get in?”

Sirius turned and gave a pained look in the general direction of where he knew his friends were standing breathlessly.

“Come here boy!”  The girl said coaxingly.  “Come on.  I bet you’d like something to eat, huh?”

With a low growl that was most certainly directed at the people under the cloak, he considered.  If he stayed put, she would most certainly come down and try to pet him (he hated that) and probably bump into James and Remus and Peter, and scream, and they’d all be unceremoniously thrown out.  Sirius knew it was time to take one for the team.  Growling again in an unspoken warning to all of them, he climbed the stairs.  As soon as the door shut behind him, there was a swirl of fabric and the other three appeared.

“D’you think he’s okay?”

“I don’t see why not.  She was rather pretty.”

“Well, what are we waiting for, let’s go mingle.”

======

A ground floor room in the McKinnons’ already large house had been enlarged considerably for the occasion, so that it had transformed from what was probably usually a dining room to a vast ballroom.  Twinkling silver lights and red and green candles hovered in the air over the extravagantly dressed guests.  It was a good thing they’d had the foresight to wear their absolute best dress robes.  They were among the younger guests, but certainly would not look too out of place.

“So, do we just walk in?”  Asked Peter as they lurked just outside the doorway.

“Don’t just walk in, Wormtail, walk in like you own the place!”  James said confidently.  “Just follow me, I’ll- oh!”

James had gotten all of one step in his confident, owning-the-place walk when he stopped dead and Peter bumped into him from behind.  Following James’s stare, Remus saw immediately what had stopped him in his tracks- Lily Evans.  Remus had to admit, even from his considerably more objective point-of-view, she looked lovely.  She was smiling, and talking to either Gideon Prewett or his brother, they were nearly the same age and hard to tell apart.  He did not think anything of this until he saw that James looked outraged by it.

“What is she doing?”

Remus clasped a hand to his chest in mock horror.  “She’s talking to someone!  Oh, the nerve!  The scandal!  Somebody get a scarlet letter for that woman!”

James turned a dirty look on him.  “If you’re not going to offer anything constructive I’m going to send you to the kitchen with Padfoot.”  Hr returned to glaring at Lily.  “I’d love to know why she’s looking so chummy with that…that…Ravenclaw.”  He spat the house name as if it were an insult.

And with a decidedly “righteously angry” look, James walked confidently, as if he owned the place, over to Lily.

“Oh Merlin, this won’t be pretty.”  Said Peter resignedly.

======

Luckily, James had learned a thing or two in the last three years of fighting with Lily Evans, and one of them was that she responded better to him when he was polite, and for this reason he made a conscious effort to control his temper as he approached her.  The truth was he thought Prewett was a decent sort of guy, it was just that Lily looked so incredibly beautiful, in his eyes anyway, he could understand how a normally decent sort of guy could lose his head.

“Good evening Lily, Prewett.”  He gave a short nod to each of them and then enjoyed the expression of shock on Lily’s face, her eyes widened slightly, her jaw went slack, she gasped, and oddly enough, went a bit red.  Was she blushing?

“Evening Potter.”  Prewett shook his hand in a friendly enough manner, having no idea he hadn’t been invited.  Ravenclaws were all right, after all, it wasn’t as though he was a Slytherin.

“J-James!  You…you weren’t invited, were you?”

“A grievous oversight on the part of the planners surely.”  He said with a wide grin.

She narrowed her eyes and seized him by the wrist.

“Excuse us Gideon.”  She dragged him a few paces away.  “What are you doing here?” she hissed.

“It’s the holidays Lily, a time for celebration…”

“You’re gatecrashing Flora’s parents’ party?”

“Yes, I’d say that pretty much covers it.”

“James!”  She was making a good effort at looking and sounding outraged, but the corners of her mouth were twitching dangerously.  “Honestly, you can’t…I mean, what if you get in trouble?”

He shrugged.  “What are they going to do, throw us in Azkaban?  I’ll behave myself, though I can’t speak for Sirius and Peter.”

“You brought…Oh Merlin…”

======

Remus could not tell, from where they stood, if Lily was angry or not, but she didn't throw anything or slap James, so that was generally a good sign. He didn't have anymore time to consider it since Flora passed right by them, in brilliant scarlet dress robes. She smiled absently at them and said "Oh hello", and then did a double take, turned, and stared at them.

"What...how...were you invited?"

"Oh look, there's that guy I wanted to talk to about that thing.  Bye." Muttered Peter, and bolted. Remus got the crossed-arms, foot-tapping pose directed at him, which was never a good thing when a girl did it.

"Well, now, Flora, "invited" is a very strong word..." He began.

"You're gatecrashing my parents’ party?"

“No, but when you're friends with James Potter and Sirius Black social niceties like invitations become unnecessary."

"Oh, so this is about Potter stalking Lily."  She nodded to herself, as though she had expected that all along.

"Let me give you a hint McKinnon, everything James does is about stalking Lily."

"Which reminds me, you owe me ten galleons."

"May I inquire as to why?"  He asked politely.

"She admitted she liked him. Just as I said would happen before the end of the holidays."

"She did? Really? She actually said that, or you're assuming that?"

"Her exact words were 'I like James'."

"Hm." He looked surprised, and thoughtful. "Well, that's an interesting development, but I still don't owe you ten galleons yet. You said they were going to get together before the end of the holidays. I still have complete faith in James's ability to screw up spectacularly."

======

Peter was just wondering if a passing uniformed waiter would notice or object if he helped himself to a glass of champagne, when something hit him very hard in the back of the head. When the stars in front of his face cleared, he saw that the something was Sirius.

"Some friends I've got."Sirius said irritably, cutting a very nasty glare in his direction.

"Well what were we supposed to do?" He replied rhetorically. "So you gave them the slip?"

Sirius scowled again and then nodded. "Yes, they're currently searching the whole house for the "stray dog" that got away."

Normally, the whole incident would have amused him, so Peter was rather at a loss to explain his dark expression. "Sirius, are you all right?"

"Yes, I just heard some people talking in there...never mind, it's not important."

"What did you hear?"

"Never mind Wormtail, I'll tell you another time, it's not for tonight. Where are James and Remus?"

"Well. James is currently mangling Lily's shoes, I'm sure." He indicated the dance floor. "And I left Remus to suffer the consequences of gatecrashing with one very angry Miss McKinnon."

"Brilliant."  Sirius muttered, but he still seemed distracted.

======

Lily had seriously thought her already agitated mental state was causing hallucinations when James appeared next to her, but after she got over her shock she realized it was just exactly the sort of thing he would do. She wanted to be annoyed, but he looked very nice in dress robes and it was kind of...funny. She wasn't sure if Flora's parents would be very amused, but you had to admire his ingenuity.

"Seriously James, I don't know what you were thinking."

He smiled. "I was thinking we should dance. Come on, I went to all the trouble of coming, you have to at least dance with me once."

She was well aware that dancing with James, in light of her recent revelation, was a slippery slope, but he was right, he had actually crashed a party in order, it seemed, to see her. That deserved a dance.

"Oh, all right."

He seized her hand before she could change her mind, and she had only time to think that her plan of stopping liking him was not going very well before they were on the dance floor, one of her hands securely in his, his other hand at her waist. 

James could not believe his luck; she actually seemed amused, even…happy to see him?  He didn’t want to push his luck, and he intended to remain silent, but he couldn’t help himself.

“You look really beautiful tonight.”

She bit her lip.  “Thanks.  You too.  I mean, you look really nice.”

“Thanks.”

For once in his life, James didn’t feel the need to say anything else.  This was enough, this moment, this dance.  Maybe it was just that is was Christmas, maybe it was just that it was a party, maybe it was just that she was in a good mood, but he didn’t care.  At that moment, all James cared about was that he was dancing with Lily Evans, and it felt absolutely perfect.

The song ended, and they broke apart somewhat awkwardly.

“You know, there was another reason we had to come tonight…” he ventured, partly to cover the nervous silence, partly because he was so nervous he wanted to get it over with.

“What’s that?”  She played along.

“To give you your Christmas present, of course.”

======

24. From This Moment

There are two ways I could have taken this duckies.  I could have James say something wrong and Lily get mad, or I could have them totally connect.  Of course, I went with the latter, because I couldn’t do that to my James!  Snogging ahoy!

Chapter 24- From This Moment

"You...got me something?" She repeated, following him helplessly out of the ballroom, since he stillhad a firm grip on her hand.

"Well, sure." James wasn't really sure where he was going, but he did want to be able to accomplish this with a minimum of potential for making a fool of himself, and that required getting her alone where there was less chance of someone like Sirius adding commentary at an inopportune moment. He just hoped Lily didn't think he was dragging her off for some sort of tryst. Not that she would agree to that anyway, but he didn't want her to think that was what he had in mind. He pulled her into the first room they came to, which was fortunately empty but was some sort of living room or parlor with sturdy, comfortable furniture and a low fire burning.

Right, so the room was a bit tryst-like, but he wasn't going to wander all over the McKinnons' house looking for a less romantic setting so as to not offend Lily's sensibilities, he meant to get her alone to give her her present and so he had.

"Right." He withdrew the flat, silver-wrapped box from his pocket. The woman at the jewelry store had wrapped it actually, commenting all the while on the "lucky girl" while his face burned, but it did look a good deal better than he could have managed. "Here."

Seriously James, is that the best thing you can think of to say? But he shook his head to clear it of the jeering voice and fixed his eyes on a point beyond Lily's shoulder, holding his breath.

Lily was not sure what to think with James watching her expectantly, biting his lip, and seemingly very nervous. If he had gotten her the sort of thing most boys would, say, sweets from Honeydukes, he would not be so nervous. He would also need a bigger box, so that alone made her wary. Being female, Lily recognized the sort of boxes jewelry came in, and she was willing to bet that was what this was. And she was proved right as she opened the velvet box and saw the delicate gold bracelet. She was at once surprised, since she wouldn't have credited James with having such taste in jewelry.

"James, I-"

"I thought it was good because, you know, it's not really showy or fancy or anything, and I've seen you wear jewelry, but you know, always pretty, delicate things. So I thought it would suit you, um..."

Lily stared at it. It was beautiful. Pretty and delicate as he's said, and finely made, and probably very expensive.

"James, it's beautiful, but-"

"But nothing." He interrupted firmly. "Do you like it?"

"Of course, but-"

"Well then that's all that matters." He cut her off again.

She gave up, and picked the bracelet out of the box carefully. It looked so delicate it seemed as though it might come apart in her hands, but it was stronger than it looked, as it glittered in the flickering light from the fireplace. She tried to put it on, impossible to do one-handed, until she finally gave James an exasperated smile. "You could offer to help me, you know."

"Oh, right!" He quickly took it from her and fastened it, his fingers lingeringjust a moment at the pulse in her wrist.

"James, wait right here for a minute, don't go anywhere, okay?" And she disappeared.

James had no idea where she had gone, but he stayed where he was, as instructed. A huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders- she had liked it, and she had made only a very few token protests, which with Lily must mean she had really liked it. James smiled to himself and ran a hand through his hair. This night was turning out better than he's even hoped.

She returned a moment later bearing something wrapped in red and green. She had gotten him something too! She had actually gone to the time and effort to get him a present, and even if it was...socks...it still must mean something.

"I, ah, got you something too..." She handed it too him.

Lily fixed her eyes on James's shoes and waited. He had given her such a nice gift she now really hoped he liked it. James was not the sort of guy who you would immediately think to get books for, but she hoped that considering the subject, he would find it interesting...

She heard him murmur "Quidditch Teams of Britain and Ireland" as he read the title.

"You don't already have that one, do you?" She asked quickly. "I see you reading "Quidditch Through the Ages" all the time, but I've never seen..."

"No, I don't." He agreed quickly. There was another pause, then he said softly, in a disbelieving voice. "Lily, this book is autographed by all the members of the England National Quidditch Team..."

"Oh is it?" She said innocently, unable to keep a small smile off her face. "Imagine that."

"But...what...how...?"

She finally met his gaze and threw him a smile. "Magic."

“Lily, you’re amazing.”

This was so different from the arrogant, cursing-anyone-he-could-just-because-he could, quidditch captain, head boy she knew.  And this James Potter she was seeing now, who was uncertain and sincere and real, this was someone she could like, maybe even love.  Lily felt like for the first time she was seeing James Potter for what he actually was, a side of him that not many, maybe not even his closest friends, saw.  As she considered all this, there was a silence between them that did not seem as uncomfortable as it should.  Silently cursing herself for her weakness, knowing as she did how stupid and reckless it was, but for once Lily didn’t care.  Lily didn’t do the sensible thing, the smart thing, the responsible thing.  Instead, Lily took a chance.   They were only standing about a step apart, and she closed that distance.  A look of surprise from James, and then, a look in his eyes that she had never seen before.  He saw no hesitation or resistance in her face, as he brought up his hand against her cheek.  As he drew her nearer, Lily’s eyes fell closed, and he kissed her. 

Kissing Lily was like nothing James had ever experienced, and he realized through the haze of thoughts and sensations swirling through his mind that she was kissing him back.  Almost automatically, he slipped his hand around her waist and drew her against him, and she did not resist, but actually deepened the kiss, with a soft sigh.

James had no idea, it might have been only seconds or several minutes, but too soon Lily drew back, though she made no move to pull away from him.  Instead, she stared at him as thought she had never seen him before.  For his part, James thought Lily had never looked as beautiful as she did at that moment.

“James?”  She said his name softly, a question in it, wanting to know what he was thinking.

“Yes?”  He murmured, tracing her face gently.

She had meant to say something else, but James moved to kiss her jaw, just below her ear, and she forgot what she was going to say in a sigh.  He kissed along her throat, drawing back her hair, which fell through his fingers like silk.  At that moment, reeling, her mind spinning, Lily only hoped he wouldn’t stop.

======

Remus wasn’t sure where James and Lily had disappeared to, but he guessed they were close to some sort of breakthrough, so he was hoping for the best.  He’d gladly be out ten galleons for James to get what he’d wanted since fourth year.

The party was in full swing, and although he had seen some people from Hogwart’s, Peter and Sirius had behaved well enough that so far Flora’s parents had not noticed their few extra guests.  Remus had been dancing, not only with Flora, but with several other girls he knew vaguely from Hogwart’s.  Sirius had been strangely withdrawn all evening, possibly just sulking because they had abandoned him.  Peter was acting unusually outgoing and getting towards simply silly, and Remus was beginning to suspect he was getting drunk.

There was a sudden a flash of light, a sudden commotion near the doors, and Sirius gripped his shoulder surprisingly hard and murmured “Oh No…”

A woman screamed, and then someone moved and Remus caught a glimpse of a masked figure coming through the door.

======

James was in a dream.  That was the only explanation he could come up with.  But then he really wasn’t putting too much thought into it, since all of his attention was currently focused on kissing Lily.  Somehow, they had worked over to the couch, so that she was pressed back against the arm of the couch.

Lily had lost track of time, lost track of where she was, she was unaware of anything but James.  She had never meant for this to happen, but now that she had taken this chance she didn’t want this night to end.  She was at once afraid, of the sudden intensity of this, and at the same time exhilarated.

There was a quiet popping and a log in the fire broke, startling both of them.  James drew back, and tucked a lock of long coppery hair behind her ear.  She was flushed and looked confused and disoriented, but absolutely exquisite.

He was about to reluctantly say that maybe they should get back to the party before someone came looking for them, but as he opened his mouth the silence of the room was shattered by a scream.

======

25. The First Battle

Oh, I am sorry guys.  I thought I uploaded chapter 25 last night and I didn’t realize until I was at work this morning that it hadn’t gone through, so clearly I did something wrong, but here it is!

I’m not so good at writing action, so bear with me!

Chapter 25- The First Battle

"What...what's going on?" Lily was still in a daze but vaguely realizing that something was wrong as James dragged his eyes away from her and looked at the door, beyond it they had heard a womanscream and now camethe sounds of other people shouting.

"I'm not sure, stay here,"he said as he rose, the picture of calm. He started toward the door, and she dragged herself out of her daze and rolled her eyes at his instructions.

"Not bloody likely,"she muttered, following him. He turned and glanced at her briefly, face unreadable, and then gave a slight smile and a shrug.

The scene that met them when they stepped back into the ballroom was chaos. Some people were trying to find a way out, some were trying to help, some were trying to maintain order amongst the crowd of guests, but most people were just trying to figure out what was happening.

"What's happening?" James asked, steadying a terrified looking woman who had just careened into him.

"Death Eaters!"she gasped out, waving a shaking handin the general direction of the entrance. "Over there."

"James, where is everyone?"cried Lily, and he knew immediately she meant their friends.

"I don't know, but we'll find them, let's just not panic."

That was easier said than done, and the most terrifying thing to James was the chaos. The guests at the party easily outnumbered the Death Eaters, but they were caught off-guard, searching frantically for wands, looking around wondering what to do, or justfrozen in disbelieving horror. James didn't want to give himself time to think, instead, he just acted. He seized Lily's hand and said "Let's find the others and get out."

======

The moment he heard a scream Siriusguessed what was happening. It was the ideal time for an attack, if you were thinking like a Death Eater- everyone celebrating, their guard down because they were in the company of friends and family, and champagne flowing freely.  There was no security around the house- no wards, no guards.  Hadn’t they just walked right in?

His friends were a little slower to figure out that something was wrong, Remus was eyeing Peter who was eyeing more champagne, and Alice was telling Flora abouthaving tea withFrank's mother, apparentlya formidable woman. They all turned at the sound of the scream, confusion playing over their faces.

Remus saw the masked figures first, through the sea of people, as another scream split the air. Sirius froze for a moment, but then was on his feet, his wand drawn.

"We should get out of here,"Remus said.

"Are you kidding? We've got to help."

"Sirius-"Remus gave a pointed look in the direction of Alice and Flora.

"Oh for Merlin's sake, stop being all sexist, we can look after ourselves." Flora snapped. "I'm not going anywhere, this is my house."

"How many are there?"

"I don't know, I see, five...six...."

At that moment one of the Death Eaters pointing his wand up, instead of into the crowd of guests, and a second later someone ran into Sirius hard, throwing him backwards and knocking over Flora and Alice as well. Flora gave a small shriekand Sirius flinched as the chandelier crashed down on the spot he had been standing moments before. He turned and looked at the person who knocked him out of the way, and who was also towing aterrified Lily by the hand.

"Thanks Mate."

"No problem,"replied James. "Everyone all right?"

The only light was now coming from the floating candles, until a great draught extinguished most of them leaving the room in eerie darkness. Sirius felt a moment of panic until he heard Lily's voice say "lumos" and reminded all of them to do the same. But the Death Eaters had taken that moment of darkness to advance into the room, and now the curses started flying in earnest.

James struggled to his feet; fine except that he'd had the wind knocked out of him, and found himself face-to-face with a tall masked figure. He shouted the first curse that came into his head.

"Rictumsempra!”

A tickling hex? James quickly recovered himself and added "Stupefy!" at the doubled over Death Eater, who then collapsed with a thud.

"Well done,"congratulated Sirius, looking impressed. Behind him, Alice screamed, and he whipped around in time to see her collapse under the cruciatus curse, rigid with pain. At the same moment he and Sirius shouted "Expelliarmus", but the Death Eater blocked it carelessly, almost lazily while Alice continued to scream.

"Stupefy!"

"Impedimenta!"

The Death Eater blocked the first curse but wasn't expecting the second, and he fell over stiffly, the wand slipping from his hand. Immediately Lily fell to her knees next to Alice, laying a hand against her cheek. "Alice, are you all right?"

She didn't answer immediately, and without waiting for an answer James picked up the shaking, gasping girl and carried her over to the corner, away from the center of the fighting. They could no longer get out, the door was blocked by Death Eaters, but the fight was forgotten for a moment as they all crowded around her.

"I'm okay, I'm fine,"she gasped, struggling to sit up.

"We have to get you out of here,” Remus insisted.

"No, I'm fine, I don't want to leave everyone else..."

"Alice, you're in no condition to fight pixies, much less Death Eaters, and-"

"Well, well, well, what have we here?” said a cold voice.

They all turned to see another Death Eater, James could not tell who it was with the mask, but Sirius muttered "Malfoy."

"Hogwarts students." The voice was cool and amused. "Shall we see how well Dumbledore has taught you then?"

He raised his wand, and James whipped around with his own, but not quite in time, as he heard "Expelliarmus" and felt it fly away from his hand.

"Tsk tsk, you've failed your first test, never let go of your wand." Malfoy chided in a patronizing, slightly sing-song voice. "You'd be the Potter boy? Your father causes no end of trouble. So sad, to lose the only son and heir."

Malfoy raised his wand, but Lily cried "Stupefy". Malfoy neatly blocked the curse.

"Again, I'm disappointed. You're too obvious about what you're going to do. What are they teaching you at that school?" He raised his wand again and James was absolutely powerless, still kneeling next to Alice, without a wand. Then suddenly, as if by magic, Sirius slipped his wand into his hand. Just as Malfoy cried "Crucio" James's arm flew out clutching Sirius's wand.

"Protego!"

Malfoy was forced to duck as his own curse rebounded on him. "Potter, you're starting to annoy me. Let's see how brave you are without your little friends backing you up." He turned his wand on Lily.

"No! Reducto!" Yelled James, his curse flying past Malfoy's outstretched arm, catching his wrist, which he immediately clutched to his chest, blood seeping through his fingers.

"You stupid boy, I've had enough of your games. Avada Kedavra!"

Not thinking, acting purely on instinct, James dodged, rolled, and came up on his feet as he felt a section of the wall explode above him. He was vaguely aware that Lily screamed his name, but he was focused entirely on Malfoy, watching his every move, anticipating what he would do next.

"If you won't stand still Potter, let's see how your little girlfriend likes this! Crucio!"

But the curse never struck Lily, as soon as the words escaped his mouth, there was a great cry of "Stupefy" and a curse hit Malfoy from behind and he collapsed in front of their startled eyes, unconscious. James looked around for who had stunned him.

"Dad!"

His father, and several other Aurors were on the scene. It didn't even occur to him to think about how much trouble they were in, he had never been so glad to see his father.

"James, Sirius, Remus, get these girls out of here." He said, his voice brisk and businesslike. Around them, fighting continued but now it was Aurors against the Death Eaters and they were slowly controlling the situation. James shook his head stubbornly.

"I can help."

"James, GET OUT NOW!" His father yelled, turning away the same second to block a curse sailing at his head. "Go!"

He wanted to refuse again, but both Sirius and Lily were urging him towards the now unblocked door, so he reluctantly allowed himself to be pulled away from the fight.

======

They stumbled out onto the lawn, where people had gathered, some looking shaken but fine, others obviously injured. Emergency response wizards were seeing to the more seriously injured people and James waved one over to make sure Alice was all right, then turned to Lily.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded, her face ashen.

"Lily, are you sure?"

"He...he tried to kill you,"she whispered.

"Oh, well, yeah. But he didn't. I'm right here, okay?" He squeezed her hand in demonstration of this, and she nodded and took a deep breath.

"Okay."

He didn’t release her hand, butturned to Sirius, who had been talking to Gideon Prewett.

"How bad is it?"

"Bad." Sirius replied gravely, not sounding at all like himself. "Five people dead he knows of. One of them was Paul Turner. He's in Gryffindor."

"Yeah." James nodded, his voice flat. His eyes traveled over the scene on the lawn. People embracing as they found their loved ones alive. In a few cases weeping as they found them injured or...James shook his had, not wanting to think about that.He had never seen the aftermath of a battle before, and now he saw it was not as exciting or dramatic he had imagined, but terrible. He squeezed Lily's hand again, and wondered how many more times they would have to do this before it was all over.

================

26. Back to Hogwarts

I don’t love this chapter, but I needed to transition back to Hogwarts.

Chapter 26- Back to Hogwarts

It was not, after all, the holiday James had hoped for.  Five people had died in the raid on the McKinnons’ holiday party, among them Donald McKinnon, Flora’s father.  That alone made it certain no one was in any mood to enjoy the remaining week and a half they had off school.  They knew other people who had lost family members to attacks by Death Eaters, but it had never come so close, and it had never seemed quite so real to James until he found himself looking at the end of Malfoy’s wand.

There was no question as to why the attack had been on the McKinnon’s.  A well-off and pureblood family, they had come out vocally against Voldemort and had criticized the Ministry for not doing more to stop him in the early days of his rise to power, when he could have been stopped.  They had influence, influence that they were using against Voldemort, and James could not help but see the parallels to his own family.

His parents had been angry enough, his father had yelled for three hours, but he took it in stride, knowing the anger was not about their sneaking out or gatecrashing the party, but about the fear they must have felt when they heard about an attack and found his bed empty.

James was relieved when the time came to go back to school, because that drew his mind back to the one bright spot in the holidays- Lily.  Sometimes he would wonder if he had just imagined it all, but no, it had been real, he had kissed her, and not been slapped for it.  In fact, her reaction had been pretty favorable.  They had not talked about it, they had not talked about anything, but James was pretty sure that he and Lily Evans were unofficially together.  As for making it official, well, that was something he planned to take care of as soon as he saw her.

And he didn’t have to wait very long for that.  As soon as they were on the train they passed an open compartment and his stomach gave a not-unpleasant flip-flop.  She was already sitting there with Alice.  James suddenly felt uncharacteristically shy, but Peter was actually the one who broke the ice.

“Mind if we sit in here?”

“Of course.”  Alice gave them a fair attempt at a smile, and immediately vacated the seat next to Lily and gave James a pointed look, which he guessed to mean he should sit there.  It wasn’t very subtle, but he didn’t really mind.

“So how was the rest of your holiday?”  He addressed the question to both girls, it was Lily who answered. 

“It was…all right.  You know, quiet.”

“Yeah.  Have you…heard from Flora?”

Alice nodded.  “She’s, well, she said she’s okay.  She should be here.”  She glanced around, and then shrugged.  “So, did you guys all finish the homework for the holidays?”

It was not a particularly interesting topic, but it was a safe one, and they all seized on it gratefully.  It was much easier to discuss potions essays and charms projects.  As the conversation came more naturally James glanced down at Lily’s hands, folded in her lap, and saw that she was wearing the bracelet.  Despite himself, he grinned.

It was precisely eleven and the train had just started to move when Flora stepped into the compartment and the conversation came to a dead stop.  She looked normal, if a little pale.  There was a moment if silence before she shifted uncomfortably.

“Stop staring at me like I’ve got three heads, I’m fine, “ she said irritably, before dropping into a seat next to Alice.

“So, does anyone…um…want to play exploding snap?”  Peter finally broke the uncomfortable silence.

“Sure, I will,” replied Sirius, and James was pretty sure that if Peter had suggested wresting an angry hippogriff at that moment someone would have agreed to it, if just to provide a distraction.  Sometimes, Peter’s complete lack of tact worked in everyone’s favor.

======

The train ride back to Hogwarts was easier than Lily had anticipated.  Flora was more or less silent but the boys kept up a comfortable chatter with her and Alice sometimes joining in.  She was acutely aware of James sitting right next to her.  She had not seen him since that night but he had written her once, just to make sure she was okay.  She felt somehow wrong about it when it seemed the world had fallen apart in the last week and a half, but she had barely been able to wait for the holidays to end to see him again. 

It was strange when she considered that the last time she’d been on the train to Hogwarts, at the beginning of the last term, she had been horrified to discover she would have to work with him.  It was strange how quickly things could change.  Had he changed, or had she?  Or perhaps both of them were different people than they had been five months ago.

There was a feast of sorts to welcome them back from the holidays, but there was a subdued air over the entire school.  Those who had not been at the party had heard about it, and the Gryffindor table was particularly silent.  As they were usually among the loudest, the other students seemed to take a cue from this and it was one of the quietest meals Hogwarts had seen.  A few snickers and smug glances from the Slytherin table were ignored, but Lily was glad when the meal was over and they were released to their common rooms.

And perhaps because of the traveling, or because people wanted badly to get back to their normal routines, the common room cleared out early too, so that by nine only a few students were left, including Sirius and Peter working feverishly on the homework they had not done over the holidays.

“Well, I’m going to go up.  Don’t want to be too tired for the first day back at classes.”  Alice announced and Remus and Peter stood to go as well.

“I’m going to stay down here for a bit.”  James replied.

“Me too, I’m just trying to finish this up.”  Muttered Sirius, until Remus gave him a kick without even pretending to be subtle.  “Ow!  I mean, er, I can always finish it tomorrow.”  He amended quickly.

“Right, um, Lily, can I have a word?”  James said quickly, as she had been planning to go upstairs as well.  “About, um, classes, of course.”

“Oh, sure.”  She tried to ignore the knowing looks of Sirius and Alice, and as soon as they had disappeared upstairs turned back to him with a coy smile.  “That was such a clever code James, I’m sure our friends believed you completely.”

He grinned and ran a hand through his hair.  “Well, Sirius always said I’m a bad actor.”

“What, so you didn’t want to talk to me about classes?”  She said innocently.

“Erm, not at the moment.”  He said, reaching for her hand and pulling her back down on the couch.  “We just…never really had a chance to talk, with everything that happened.  And I thought we should talk properly.”  He took a deep breath.  “The thing is Lily, I know I haven’t done very well in the past at letting you know I liked you, but I really need you to know I’m sincere.  I do care about you.  Nothing has to be set in stone, but I guess I’m asking if we can give this a shot?  I mean, a real one, because we haven’t given ourselves a fair chance yet.”

He stopped, and then looked adorably expectant.  Lily looked down at their linked hands on the couch.

“At the party, that wasn’t some big revelation James.  I guess I’ve liked you for a while, I just didn’t want to admit it.  Which is not to say you don’t drive me insane, but for some reason, I like you anyway.  That night at the party, everything is so muddled because it seemed so perfect and then it all fell apart, but it also made me realize some things.  I saw the man you’re going to be, that you really already are aside from your occasional immature moments, and I saw that life is uncertain, especially now, and I see no point in wasting more time.”

He smiled, slowly.  “Is that a yes then?  Are we official?”

“Yes, that’s a yes.”

“You know I’m probably still going to drive you crazy?”

“I have considered that possibility.”

“Good, as long as you’re forewarned.”

“James?”

“Yes?”

“Stop talking.”

======

James wasn’t sure what he’d been thinking when he expected his friends to be asleep when he came back into the room.  In fact, he was met by three expectant grins.  He didn’t say anything immediately, just went about getting ready for bed, until finally Peter snapped first, as always.

“Well?”

“Well what?”  He replied casually, enjoying himself.

“Oh, so I suppose you and Lily were really talking to each other about classes down there?”  Retorted Sirius.

“Not exactly.”  He shrugged.  “Let’s just say Lily and I are officially together.”

Peter pumped his fist in the air and Remus gave him a satisfied nod.  “About bloody time.”

======

James was so distracted by his newfound happiness Sirius found it relatively easy to give him the slip the next morning on the way to breakfast.  Normally, he didn’t miss breakfast, but he made an exception because if he didn’t speak to her it was just going to keep eating at him until he did.  He saw her heading for the owlery and he knew it was as good a chance as any.

For someone who ought to have better instincts, living in Slytherin as she did, it took her several minutes to realize she was being watched.  It was only after she had released her owl she turned and saw him standing there, and gave a start.

“You startled me.”  She said, unnecessarily.

“Sorry.”  He replied with absolutely no sincerity.  “How was your holiday?”

“Why do you care?”

“I was being polite, it’s something you might try.”

“You came all the way up here to be polite?”

He ignored that.  “Did you hear about the McKinnons’ party?” 

She looked slightly surprised by the abrupt changed of subject.  “Of course.  They have these things called newspapers, and…”

”Funny, I thought you might have had a more firsthand account.”  He interrupted her.

For the first time since she had noticed him, she actually looked at him, and he fancied he saw her flinch slightly, if it was only in her eyes.  “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Well, being as we saw your brother there, hard to tell behind the Death Eater mask of course but then he’s not to hard to recognize, I thought he might have given you his account of the evening.”

She was good, very good.  Her face gave away almost nothing, but she did go a shade paler.

“Don’t talk about things you don’t understand Black.”

For the first time, he saw that dangerous quality that made her a Slytherin.

“What exactly is it that I don’t understand Arianna?  Because it all looked pretty clear to me when your brother tried to kill my best friend.”

“Well, I’m happy for you that your world is that simple.”  She snapped.  “Since everything is so bloody clear to you what are you wasting my time for?”

“Are you a Death Eater?”

“I don’t have to answer to you.”

He took a step closer, and gripped her upper arm.  “Are you?”

“No.”

She was meeting his eyes directly, and he wondered if she was lying.  If she was, she was an accomplished liar, but given that she was a Malfoy, that was hardly out of the question.

“But your brother is?”

She jerked her arm out of his grip and tossed her hair back.  “So will your brother be, in a few years, so maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to judge me.”

She turned on her heel and walked out, leaving him stunned.

27. Keeping in Line

And now, a short chapter about everyone’s favorite werewolf.  Being as reserved as he is, it’s hard to see Remus putting the moves on any girl, but we’ll see how it goes.

Chapter 27- Keeping in Line

Remus had always been aware of his rather unique position among the Marauders.  Specifically, his position as the only one who wasn’t insane.  While he didn’t generally have much success in keeping them out of trouble- Sirius and James often managed to shout down his better instincts- he usually managed to keep them from doing anything too stupid.  He kept everyone in line.  He was the problem-solver.  For about three years, the biggest “problem” among them had been James dealing with the agony and the ecstasy of being in love with Lily Evans.  Now that James and Lily had made the transition from arch-enemies to Gryffindor’s cutest couple, Remus had the time to notice that his other friends were falling apart in front of his eyes.

Most noticeably Sirius.  He been strangely withdrawn and quiet since the night of the McKinnons’ party, and now that they were back at school he seemed more tightly wound than ever.  Since Sirius was not forthcoming, Remus had to guess what the problem was, and his best guess was the girl, the Malfoy girl who Sirius seemed so fascinated with.  Given their encounter with Malfoy at the party, Remus was more sure than ever that that was a family Sirius should not get mixed up with.  There was nothing to do but bring it up and risk getting his head bitten off.

“Padfoot, what’s going on with you and the Malfoy girl?”

“Nothing is “going on” with her.  I’ve barely said ten words to her.”

Since Sirius was not the kind of guy who usually dated girls for their conversational skills, this was hardly a convincing denial.

“Well, for someone who has absolutely no interest in her, you spend a lot of time talking to her and even more time staring at her.  What do you want from her?  Do you want to date her?  Do you want to be friends with her?”

Sirius snapped his book shut.  “I don’t know, all right?  Why does it matter?”

“Because you haven’t been yourself lately and so you’ll excuse me if I’m wondering what’s going on.  Wormtail’s going to have a nervous breakdown if you don’t stop snapping at him, and you’re not exactly easy to live with lately.”

He sighed and tossed the book aside.  “I know, and I’m sorry about it Mate.  It’s really nothing to do with Arianna.”

Remus barely restrained himself from raising an eyebrow.  They were on a first name basis?

“…at least not directly.”

“Wormtail mentioned at the McKinnons’ party you were muttering about having overheard something.  Is that it?  Did you hear something about the attack?”

Sirius’s head snapped up.  “No!  How can you even ask me that!  I would have told someone if I had known an attack was coming.  Merlin, what do you take me for?”

“That is not what I meant Sirius.”  He raised his voice just enough to make his friend listen.  “I was only asking if you overheard something that didn’t make sense at the time but might have afterwards.”

Sirius shook his head, faintly.  “No, nothing like that.  I’d tell you that, but I don’t understand it myself.  When I figure it out, I’ll let you know.”  He reached for another book.  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately.  Do you ever feel like you’re losing control of the whole world all at once?”

Considering this, Remus realized he’d never felt like he had control of the whole world to begin with.

======

Sirius was not the only one out of sorts, but Flora’s reasons for acting withdrawn were far more obvious.  While everyone else felt more or less like life was getting back to normal with the usual round of classes and activities, she had stayed very much on the sidelines.  Hardly unusual, but rather noticeable for someone who had always been in the center of things before.  Still, no one questioned it.  Lily and Alice were being the best of friends, but it was one of those things that even your friends can’t help.  Remus didn’t presume to say anything, he had never lost a parent and didn’t imagine he could have any idea what she was going through.

And so like everyone else he didn’t say anything, until he came back from the library one night at almost half-past twelve.  Their NEWTS were fast approaching, and Remus was realistic enough to know he was going to have enough trouble getting and keeping a job without mediocre exam scores.  As it happened, Flora was the only one still in the common room, sitting low on the couch with a book that did not appear to be one of their class texts.

“It’s very late.”  He remarked, for lack of anything better to say.

“Lucky for me our formidable head girl is so wrapped up in our significantly less formidable head boy that she has neglected to come down here and give me her Head Girl Glare of Death.”

“I can try to resurrect my Prefect Glare of Death for you.”  He suggested.

“That won’t be necessary.”  She did manage a small smile.

“What are you reading?”

She held up the book so he could get a look at the title.  Hogwarts, A History.

“I thought I was the only one who read that.”  He admitted.

Her mouth twitched.  “I assure you, you are.  I was hoping it would put me to sleep.”

So it was that she was having trouble sleeping.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”  She said sharply.  “I can handle it.  I just want everything to go back to normal.  I’m sick of people asking if I’m all right and feeling sorry for me.”  Before he could say anything else she went on.  “Don’t bother telling me that they’re just trying to be nice.  I know that.”  She drew a sharp breath, like she was hyperventilating.  Or crying.

Remus was as uncomfortable with crying girls as any seventeen year old male, but this was not like a girl crying over boys or a row with her friends, this was something more real and terrifying.  Wonderful, thought Remus.  First, he pissed off Sirius, now he’d made Flora cry.  He really ought to go kick some puppies to finish off the night properly.  Instead, he sat down and put an arm around her shoulders. 

“All right then.  We don’t have to talk about it at all.”

“The thing is-“ She mumbled, burying her face in his shoulder.  “- I thought my family was immune.  I mean, my family is pureblood, and it’s not like I think that makes me better than everyone else like some people, but I thought You-Know-Who was only killing muggles and muggle-borns.”

“I think Voldemort will kill anyone who gets in his way.”  He felt her shudder at the name. 

“That doesn’t look very good for us then does it?”  She whispered.  “Because I’m going to get in his way every chance I get.”

She sounded completely serious, he didn’t argue with her, he just tightened his arms slightly.  She was still, and he began to wonder if she’d fallen asleep, until she spoke.

“Remus?”

“Hm?”

“You still owe me ten galleons.”

======

The first thing Remus realized was that his arm was asleep.  The second was that sunlight was streaming in the windows of Gryffindor Tower, so it was morning.  The third was the person who was actually cutting off circulation to his arm.  He shook her gently.

“Flora?”

“Go away.”  She muttered, not waking up.

He smiled, but shook her a little harder.  “Flora, hey, it’s morning.”

She blinked at him, at the common room, and then sat up slowly.  Her eyes widened slightly as the reality of where she was set in.

“Don’t worry, it’s still early, I don’t think anyone has come down yet.”  He said quickly.

“Oh, right.”  She made rather a show of straightening her skirt.  “I guess we’d better…I mean…classes, and…”

“Right.”  He agreed.

She started for the stairs to the girls’ rooms, and the stopped and turned back.  “Thanks.”

He shrugged.  “I didn’t really do anything.”

“You stayed.”

Before he knew what was happening, she kissed him quickly, and was gone up the girls’ staircase.

======

Remus had fully prepared himself to have some questions to answer to his roommates as to where he had been all night, and he was right, as he stepped into the room and saw three expectant grins and raised eyebrows.

“Good morning.”  Said Sirius pleasantly, in a voice he knew well enough to dread.  He wondered if they would buy that he’d fallen asleep in the library, that wasn’t so out of the question.

“I don’t know what you’re grinning at, you prat.”  He replied.

“Well, we have all noticed the fact that you did not spend last night in your bed.  So the question we must ask ourselves is, whose bed did you spend it in?”

“I didn’t spend it in anyone’s bed.”  He snapped.

“Oh, that’s kinky.”  Sirius was not at all deterred.  “If not in someone else’s bed, then where?  I’ve always thought those tables in the Great Hall…”

“Padfoot, I swear to Merlin if you finish that sentence I will curse you.”  James interrupted.  “We have to eat on those tables and I do not need the mental picture of whatever else you might think they’d be useful for.”

“I fell asleep in the common room.”  He said, hoping that was boring enough that Sirius would not be interested and would continue with the more interesting line of thought regarding alternative uses for Hogwarts furniture.

“Alone?”

Damn Peter, sometimes he just stumbled his way onto the right question.  Remus cleared his throat.  “Now, look, she’s got enough going on without the three of you and your comments.  Furthermore, nothing happened.”

Sirius shook his head sadly.  “Denial is not just a river in Egypt my friend.”

“The only thing that hasn’t happened Mate, is you getting a clue.”  James chided.  “All of us, probably including Miss McKinnon, were wondering when you were going to stop being so thick.”

======

28. Encounter of a Nocturnal Kind

Bit longer than usual chapter.  I’m posting this tonight, even though I should really be working on my short story for my writing class.  So everyone say “Thanks MetroDweller!”

Chapter 28- Encounters of a Nocturnal Kind

“It’s almost midnight; it’s time you were in bed.”  Lily informed two third years still in the common room.

“We have to finish our history of magic essays though!”  One of them protested.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have left them until eleven on the night before they were due.”  She replied.  “But if Professor McGonagall comes in you’ll both get detention for still being down here.”

They seemed to consider their chances of winning an extended argument with the Head Girl, and then grumbled and began packing away their books.  Meanwhile, James reflected that Lily was quite sexy when she was being bossy.  Especially when she wasn’t bossing him.  As the two third years stomped up the stairs, he continued to watch Lily without her knowing.  The problem with a school like Hogwarts was that you were so rarely alone.  Oh, certainly there were places, like the Astronomy Tower or the Room of Requirement, but you practically needed reservations to find them unoccupied, and he suspected Lily wouldn’t like what being seen coming from either one would do for her reputation.

But then, James was nothing if not resourceful. 

Lily had the strangest feeling, as she idly straightened up the common room, that she was being watched.  She turned and looked at both of the stairs leading to the dorms, wondering if maybe a student had come back down for something, but there was no one.  Still, she could not shake the feeling that she was not alone.  She was laughing at herself for being paranoid when suddenly something tugged on her hair.  She whipped around, but only managed to grab a handful of air.

“Wha-?”  She looked around wildly, until a laughing James suddenly appeared seemingly out of thin air.

“Good evening.”

She gaped at him.  “How…what?  How did you do that?”

He held up a mass of silvery material.  “Have you seen one of these before?”

She shook her head.

“Watch.”  He swung it around and settled it over his shoulders, and his body disappeared, so that his head was just floating in midair.  “It’s an invisibility cloak.”

“So that’s how you’re always sneaking about?”

He shrugged, and then seized her hand enthusiastically.  “Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see when we get there.”  He pulled her toward the portrait hole.

“But, what if we get caught?”

“Lily, do I need to explain the “invisibility” concept?”

As soon as they had stepped out of the portrait hole, James swung the cloak around so that it covered both of them.  It was easily large enough to cover two people, provided that they were standing quite close together, and Lily shivered a bit at how close James was.  He seemed to think she must be cold, because he put an arm around her.

He knew exactly where they were going, and she could only imagine how well he and his friends must know the Hogwarts Halls and passages if they had been sneaking around like this since first year.

They came to a stop in the middle of a seemingly empty corridor in front of a large painting of questionable taste.  Lily had never been one for the still life “bowl of fruit” paintings, but judging by how James was smiling, he was.  To her surprise, he reached out and…well…tickled the pear.  It began to giggle, and then turned into a doorknob.  Her fear of getting caught was forgotten, Lily was merely curious now as to what James was up to.

As soon as the picture closed behind them, he pulled off the cloak and led her by the hand into the cavernous kitchen.  Almost immediately, a house elf rushed over to them.  Lily had seen house elves around Hogwarts, but for the most part they were very elusive.  She thought they were funny little creatures, she had never actually talked to one before.  But they seemed to be well acquainted with James.

“Oh Mister Potter Sir!  Is Mister Potter needing something?  Is there anything Tibby can get for Mister Potter or Miss?”  It squeaked out.

“Tibby, this is Miss Lily Evans.”  James introduced formally.

“Tibby is so pleased to meet Miss Lily Evans!  So pleased Mister Potter is bringing Miss Lily Evans with him!  Is Mister Potter and Miss Lily Evans wanting something?”

“Perhaps a cup of tea?  And some scones?”  James suggested.  “Anything else?” he added to her.  She shook her head, amazed at the efficiency with which the house elves worked, bringing a steaming teapot and plate of scones.

“Thanks Tibby, that’s brilliant.”  James said.

“Mister Potter should just yell if Mister Potter needs something.  Tibby is happy to wake up to help Mister Potter.”

“You’ve been a great help already Tibby.”

The house elf beamed, and then they all seemed to disappear with the same efficiency.

James pulled out one of the chairs at the scarred wooden table with a gallant flourish, and she couldn’t hold in a smile.

“So, is this some kind of set-up you have with the house elves, bringing girls down here?”

He had the grace to blush slightly at her reference to his rather checkered past, but then shook his head.  “The only people who come down here with me are my mates, and I certainly don’t want the help of house elves to set the mood for them.  But I was coming down to grab something to eat, and I saw you in the common room, and I thought it was about time to let you in on some of the secrets we’ve learned about Hogwarts over the years.

“You have a lot of secrets James.”

He shook his head.  “Not from you.  I’m an open book.  Ask me anything.”

She rested her chin on her hand.  “All right then Mr. Open Book.  What’s your biggest secret?”

She expected some sort of glib remark, but he frowned for a moment and then promptly replied “I’m an unregistered animagus.”

She blinked at him for a moment, and then burst out laughing.  “Honestly James, if you don’t want to answer…”

She opened her eyes, recovering from her fit of laughing, and instead of James sitting across from her, a stag with magnificent antlers stood there, and she could swear the damn animal was grinning at her.  Lily gave a small scream, followed by “bloody fucking hell!”

He almost burst out laughing.  He was pretty sure he’d never heard her swear before, and certainly not so colorfully.

“I fear I may blush!  That wasn’t very ladylike.  As head boy, I might just have to deduct points for that kind of language.”  He commented when he had turned back into himself.

“How…how?”  She finally asked weakly.

“Well, it wasn’t easy.  It took the better part of three years to figure out.”

“Why?  Just to see if you could?”

For the first time, he looked uncomfortable.  “I meant it when I said I’d tell you anything, but that’s not my secret to tell Lily.”

She considered this for a moment, then nodded.  “All right.”

“Well then, to be fair and all, you have to tell me one of your deep dark secrets.”  He suggested.

“Oh.”  She searched her mind for something, she really did, but could come up with nothing that compared with being an unregistered animagus.  “I don’t know.”  She bit her lip, suddenly uncomfortable, she stood up and started to pace.  “I haven’t done anything so exciting as learning the animagus spell.”  She turned and looked at James still sitting there.  She realized one of the things that had been eating at her for weeks, and probably deeper than that, one of the reasons that she had been so reluctant to admit that she liked James in the first place.  Compared to him, she just did not think she was that exciting, and now she found herself terrified that James would realize that, and get bored with her, and then leave her.  The flashy, trouble-making, spotlight-loving James Potter could never stay interested in her.  “I guess I’m pretty boring.”  She admitted softly.

James was silent for a moment, regarding her with unreadable hazel eyes, and then he stood as well, so that he towered over her by several inches.

“Why would you say that?”  He asked quietly.

“Well, because I am.  I’ve never done anything that’s even interesting enough to be a secret.”

“I don’t think you’re boring Lily.”  He murmured, and placing his hands at her waist, as easily as though she weighed nothing, lifted her up so she was sitting on the table.  Their faces were close to level now, and he reached up and twisted his fingers in her hair.  “I don’t think you’re boring at all.”  He repeated.  “In fact, I find you fascinating.  You’re smart, and you’re beautiful, and….I think you’re wonderful Lily.”

“Oh.”  She was shocked by his words, and the evident sincerity behind them, but before she could say anything more, his mouth caught hers and she completely forgot whatever she had been planning to say.  It was more desperate, more intense than it had ever been before, and Lily felt herself lean into him, wanting him to be closer.  He put his hands at her waist again pulling her closer.  He drew away from her for a moment, looked at her somewhat questioningly, but she just murmured his name, saw his eyes flare slightly in the light from the kitchen fire, and he kissed her again.  His hands at her waist kept her still, not that she would have moved anyway, but slowly they slid up her back, and Lily shivered. 

That involuntary reaction had more of an effect on James than he cared to admit.  He had meant only to stop Lily from her ridiculous talk about being boring, because he was being completely honest when she said she was anything but, but now all of a sudden, kissing her like this, he wondered if he would ever be able to stop.  She had no idea what she was doing to him.

“You’re not boring Lily.”  He whispered again.  “You’re perfect.”

======

Sirius waited nervously outside the greenhouse as he could hear the class inside finishing.  It was fully dark, although it was only seven o’clock.  It was their last class of the day, so she couldn’t blow him off on the pretense of getting to her next class.  He had tried to think of another way, any other way, to find out, but he had come to the conclusion that he absolutely had to ask her.  The last thing he wanted to do was lay more stress on Flora.  He hated what had happened to her, he hated that it couldn’t be someone like his father, who deserved it, but he absolutely had to know, it had been rattling around the back of his mind since that night.

He had briefly considered getting Remus to ask her, it was pretty obvious they were an item, but then he had dismissed that idea because it had sounded like a secret, and it wasn’t his secret, he had just been a “stray dog” in the room at the time.

The class began to come out, and he stopped her with a hand on her arm.

“Flora, can I have a word?”

She gave him a clearly confused look, but said “Sure.”

He drew her over to the side of the greenhouse, away from the curious gazes of Lily and Alice and Peter.  “Listen, I just wanted to ask you about something.”  He took a deep breath.  He had given it a lot of thought and decided it would be best to tell the truth.  “That night, when we gatecrashed your party.”  Gods, how he hated brining it up to her, but she nodded with a sort of dry smile.

“Yes Sirius, I remember.”

He went on.  “Well, at one point I was in the kitchen, but…er…no one else knew I was there.”  He did not have the inclination to explain he was an unregistered animagus, let her think he was hiding or something.  “There was a rather pretty girl, a few years older than you, brown hair and eyes, I’d guess your sister?”

She nodded slightly, indicating that was a fair guess.  “Marlene.”  She supplied.

“Right, well, at any rate, she was talking to these two other blokes.  One of them was a Bones, she said his name, but I’m not sure of the other one.  But the thing is, I think I heard something I wasn’t supposed to.  I don’t know who else to ask.  Flora, what is the Order of the Phoenix?”

She tensed, and stared at him as though he’d said some sort of terrible word.  Then she closed her eyes momentarily and muttered “Gods, how much did you hear?”

“Enough to know they have something to do with you-know-who.  Enough to know they suspected an attack was coming, thought they didn’t know when, and enough to know…well, the thing is, I heard them talking about people.  They mentioned you, and James, and Lily and…me.  And…” he paused and swallowed.  “-they mentioned Dumbledore.”

She gripped his shoulder urgently.  “Listen to me Sirius.  You’ve got the wrong idea.  I don’t know that much about it.  Honestly, they won’t let me into the meetings or tell me anything, but it’s not to do with you-know-who.  At least not in the way you’re thinking.  The Order of the Phoenix is a secret group to fight you-know-who.  It was started by Dumbledore, to fight you-know-who because he felt that the Ministry wasn’t doing anything.”

Sirius felt that a huge weight had lifted off of his shoulders.  He had always felt that whatever happened, he could put his trust in Albus Dumbledore, and questioning that over the last few weeks had been horrible.  If he couldn’t trust the headmaster, who could he trust?

“I don’t know why our names were brought in.”  Flora was saying.  “Except that I know no one is allowed to join until they’ve left school.  Maybe since we are going to be graduating in the next few months they reckon to ask us to join.”

“Yeah.”  He nodded.  “It did kind of sound that way.  I guess, I kind of thought they meant to ask us to join some sort of Death Eater group, you know?”

She gave him a sympathetic smile.  “You’ve really been worrying about this, haven’t you?”

He shrugged, a little embarrassed.  “Well, when they said Dumbledore, I guess I sort of just panicked.  It sounded bad, and…”

She smiled, and laid a hand against his cheek.  “You can trust him Sirius.  Dumbledore is one of the few people we can count on these days.  But listen, it would be best if you didn’t tell everyone else, James and Remus and Peter, about this.  Dumbledore will tell them, when it’s time.”

He nodded.  “Of course.  Thanks Flora, for giving me a straight answer.”

She smiled.  “No problem.”

“Well, if you have no problems with answering my questions, then I might have a few about you and a certain mate of mine…”

She grinned.  “Don’t push your luck Black.”

======

It was just after twelve when Sirius arrived at the greenhouse and pulled off the invisibility cloak.  It was a bit harder to get James to lend it to him now that he had Lily to skulk around the castle with, but judging by the ridiculous grin on his friend’s face most of the time, Sirius figured they were managing just fine.  He found the greenhouse door unlocked and stepped inside, closing it carefully behind him.  It was pitch black and he was still for a moment until he heard her voice.

“Lumos.”

She was sitting on the edge of a row of shelves that held some sort of purring ferns, her legs crossed politely, feet swinging slightly.  She laid her wand, with its tip glowing, on the shelf next to her delicately and looked at him expectantly.

“Well?”  She held up a small scrap of paper, the note he had sent her.  “What’s this about?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

She gave him an annoyed look.  “Yes Sirius, the fact that I’m here does rather suggest that I can read.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets.  He hated apologizing.  “I wanted to apologize, for what I said the other day in the owlery.  I was entirely out of line.  I shouldn’t judge you based on your family.  I know I would hate it if people judged me based on my family.”

She looked more than a little surprised by this turn of events, and not quite sure how to react to it.  She blinked at him for a moment, and then regained her composure.  “Well, thank you.”

He carefully moved over some of the purring ferns and joined her on her makeshift seat.

“You got me here just to tell me that?”

He shrugged.  “I wasn’t exactly going to knock on the door of your common room, was I?  I have no interest in interacting with your little Slytherin posse.”

She raised an eyebrow.  “No?  I thought you said Maria was pretty.”

“Is that her name?”  He remarked carelessly.  “Perhaps she’s attractive enough, but not enough for me to want to deal with the accompanying sociopath tendencies.”

Her mouth twitched, but she did not seem the least bit perturbed by the slight to her house.

“Why did you feel the need to apologize to me?”  She pressed.

“Well aren’t you just a little cynic tonight.  Why all the sudden questioning of my motives?  Isn’t it possible I just wanted to be a decent sort of chap.  I am capable of admitting when I’m wrong.  I have lots of redeeming qualities.”

“Modesty is obviously not among them.”

Her wand, which was their only source of light, slipped from the table, and as she leaned down to retrieve it, the sleeve of her sweater, already pushed up to her elbow, slid up marginally further, revealing a series of small, finger sized bruises just above her elbow.  Sirius was about to ask her what had happened, until a sickening realization swept over him.  The other day in the owlery, when he had asked if she was a Death Eater, he had grabbed her by the arm.  He had no idea how hard.  She must have noted his horrified look, because she said “what?”

“Did I do that?”

She examined the bruises dispassionately.  “Most likely.”

“Gods Arianna, I am so sorry.  I had no idea, I didn’t mean to.  I wouldn’t hurt you, I-“

He felt sick.  He was not that kind of man, he hated himself for handling her that roughly, he would never have hurt her intentionally.  He had been angry, yes, that did not excuse grabbing her hard enough to leave a mark.

She was looking at him with an expression between perplexed and amused.  “Don’t worry about it.  You didn’t hurt me.  I bruise very easily, it’s certainly not the first time.  Look, if I was mad I wouldn’t be here, right?”  She seemed at a loss to figure out why he was upset.

After a moment of studying his face, she made a clearly annoyed sound and hopped down from her seat.

“Honestly Black, I’m not some helpless little girl.  Instead of just apologizing, this has to be some huge drama with Sirius Black as the star.  Believe me, you couldn’t hurt me, and if you did, I’d make sure you knew it.”  Hey eyes glittered in the faint light from her wand.  “If we’re finished here, I’m going to bed.  Nox.”

The light went out, and rather than be left in the dark, he followed her, catching up quickly with longer strides.

“So you’re friends with Snape?”  He asked, wondering why, when he had felt guilty just a moment ago, he was trying to antagonize her again.

“What makes you say that?”

“I’ve seen you talking to him.”

“That hardly makes us friends.  I talk to you, and I don’t like you.”  She shook her head.  “We’re not friends.  Severus doesn’t have friends.  He considers Lucius…an ally of sorts, that’s the only reason he talks to me.”

“Severus?”  He mimicked, sotto voice, her use of his first name.

“Why do you hate him so much?”

He snorted.  “What, are you taking a poll?  It’s a long list, and you did mention wanting to get to bed at some point.  More to the point, why do you care if I hate him?”

“It was just an idle question, but with all that suspicion you’re a good candidate for Slytherin.”

“Green really isn’t my color.”

They had arrived back at the entrance to the castle and he remembered that they were, in fact, out well after hours.  He pulled the invisibility cloak out.

“Are you going to manage to get back to your common room without encountering Filch?”

“I’ve managed it for the last six years without your help.”

“Or you’re just afraid what your little viper friends would think if they saw me?”

“You really are a legend in your own mind hm?  I hate to disappoint you Black, but most of them aren’t any more interested or concerned about the fascinating events of your life than I am, which is to say, they don’t care.”

Offering him one more smirk, she turned in the direction of the dungeons, he watched her until she turned a corner, and the swung the cloak over himself.  “For someone who doesn’t care, odd you’re willing to come out to the greenhouse in the middle of the night.”  He muttered to himself.

29. More Girl Talk and Boy Talk

You guys would not believe the day I had.  I can’t tell you about it, because I’d get fired, but believe me when I say your reviews were spiffing and really picked me up when I needed it.

To answer a question, this story will end with the end of seventh year.  After all, it’s pretty long already.  I’m going to try to kick up the plot a little in coming chapters, I feel like it’s lagging, but I wanted to firm up the Remus/Flora thing in this chapter, but not much happens.  Our favorite werewolf needs some action.

There were a few who felt Lily’s swearing in the last chapter was a bit much, I’ll just remind you all that they are 17-18 years old, and their language is pretty tame compared to how  I (and my friends) were at that age.

Chapter 29- More Girl Talk and Boy Talk

"Soooo, Lily."

Lily winced. She knew that voice, and she knew where Alice was going when she used it. It wasFriday night, and despite the fact that two of them had boyfriends who lived within 10 yards of their bedroom door (well, Flora insisted she didn't have a boyfriend, but no one believed that fora second) they had no plans. In fact, when Lily had asked James about his plans for the night, he had acted strange and mumbly and said vaguely he "had to do a thing".

That was fine with her, after all if they didn't spend some time apart and with their respective friends they'd drive each other mad. But it was Friday night, and even Lily couldn't bring herself to study on a Friday night, and so she was just idly paging through "Witch Weekly". She drew her eyes away from the article she was reading ("Charm your hair into the latest style!") and looked warily at Alice, who was painting her toenails, looking deceptively innocent.

"Yes?"

"I was just wondering where you were Wednesday night.”  She said in an offhand voice, then added in a slightly sing-song one,“Until two in the morning?"

Lily gave her a glare. "What are you, my mother?"

"No, but when one wakes up at half past one, and one sees that one's roommate's bed is empty, one wonders."

"I think one should mind her own business."

Flora snickered, but Alice stilled her with a look. "Laugh if you will, my girl, but you're next. So anyway Lily, what could have possibly detained you for two hours? Hm?"

They were both looking at her expectantly now, and Lily squirmed slightly and mumbled something in which the word "James" could be heard.

"Well, we knew that. What with James?"

"We just went down to the kitchen. We had tea."

"Tea? Is that what they're calling it now days?"

"Alice!"

"Oh Lily, you expect us to believe you were down in the kitchen in the middle of the night, alone, with James Potter and nothing happened?"

"Well, not nothing, but we didn't..." She trailed off, blushing.

"Have tea?" Flora supplied.

Lily buried her face in her pillow.  “This just gets worse and worse.”

“Oh come on Lily, if you can’t tell your friends, who can you tell?”

She shrugged.  “James had just been surprisingly….nice…lately.”

“He’s always been nice, he’s just gotten better at acting it, and you’re finally noticing it.”  Alice said happily.  Her life had certainly improved since her two best friends had moved from extreme angst to happy coupledom, even if Flora was not quite ready to admit it.  Alice could not help but be pleased by how happy Lily looked.

“There’s just a lot about him I didn’t get.”  Lily shrugged again, and sighed.  “He actually thinks I’m interesting.”

“You are Lil.  Why else do you think he’s been hanging around you three years?  Do you remember how harsh you used to be?”  Flora giggled and jumped off her bed, striking a pose and doing a very convincing imitation of Lily.  “You make me SICK.  I’d rather go out with the giant squid!”

Lily flushed while Alice looked highly amused.  Nothing like turning your roommates against each other.  And sure enough, Lily went on the offensive.

“Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to say for a woman who has spent the last several months completely oblivious to a great guy right under her nose!”  Lily shot back.  Flora blushed a deep red and crawled back on her bed.

“I wasn’t oblivious, we’ve always been friends.”

“Oh yes, those looks you have been giving him are entirely “friendly”.  Because, you know, friends always look at each other like they want to snog their face off right there in the middle of a charms class.”

Alice barely concealed a very unladylike snort.  Oh yes, this was good.

“I…you…I don’t want to snog anyone’s face off!”  Flora sputtered.

“Riiight.  Of course you don’t.”  Lily rolled her eyes extravagantly.

“Lily!  I don’t want to snog his face off!”  She yelped.

“Oh yes, and your panicked, red-faced denial is sure to convince us of that!”

“Aargh!”  Flora groaned as she reached for her pillow and pressed it over her face.  “I don’t know what I’m doing.  I don’t get it.  He’s not my type!  I don’t date the smart ones, I date the cute stupid ones.  He’s just so…nice!  And he’s funny, not in the obvious way Black is, completely dry, but he’s got this way of delivering a line……oh crap.”  She sighed and threw the pillow across the room.  “What am I going to do?”

“Well, I think the answer is pretty obvious.”  Lily said seriously. 

“Yes, quite obvious.”  Alice agreed, nodding solemnly.

“You’re going to snog his face off!”

======

It was in that frame of mind that she went looking for Remus the next evening.  Not, of course, to “snog his face off” as her friends so gracefully put it, but because she liked spending time with him, and she thought he liked spending time with her, and maybe there was something there.  He was so unreadable, she was never sure what he was thinking.

It had been an impulsive move, that morning in the common room, when she had kissed him. It had been quick, merely a peck really.  She hadn’t planned it, she hadn’t even meant to, it was odd.  It had just happened.  She had been as surprised as he was, really.  But since then it had not been awkward, as she expected, he had acted as he always had.

Did she really want to snog him, as Lily and Alice insisted?  Well, she couldn’t deny there was a certain appeal to the idea.  But Remus was not the sort of guy you snogged once and the didn’t talk to again.

Flora had never found herself so confused.  There was the one part of her mind that said the last thing she should think about was boys after what had happened over the last month, there was part arguing that with all that happened over the last month she really ought to let loose and have her bit of happiness, and there was the part of her that said that Remus was not a momentary fling to forget what had happened, but something more real.

She found him in the common room, and gave it until eleven so that he was alone.  He looked unusually pale and tired, but she had no idea when she’s be able to find him alone again, so she took her chance.  She sat next to him on the couch.

“Hey.”

He smiled, and closed the book, marking his place carefully.

“Hey.”

She took a deep breath.  “So, I wanted to talk to you.”

“Hm, hold on just a minute there.”  He seemed to be followed the progress of something across the room, and mysteriously, the portrait hole opened and closed without anyone apparently entering or leaving.  He turned his attention back to her.  She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

“Does one of your friends, by chance, own an invisibility cloak?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that rumor.”  He said, amusement in his eyes.

“Well, that explains a great deal.”  She remarked.

He returned an enigmatic smile that clearly said he was not going to say another word on the subject.  “You wanted to talk to me?”

“Well, yes.  It’s just that…”  She trailed off.  She wasn’t sure if she could do this.  But if she didn’t bring it up, she was pretty sure he wouldn’t.  “I think, maybe, there’s something here.  And if there is, I don’t want to ignore it until we both go mad.”  She held her breath, just sure he was going to say he had no idea what she was talking about.  Instead, he smiled.

“In other words, you’re not going to act like Lily?”

She bit her lip.  “Well, I’m not sure what I’d do if you started acting like James.”

He reached out a hand, and hesitantly, traced along her bottom lip with his thumb.  His hand slipped around the back of her neck and he drew her close, hesitating just a moment, giving her time to pull back if she wanted to, but she didn’t want to.

“It’s a good thing you’re not like Lily.”  He murmured against her mouth.  “I don’t know if I’d be able to wait three years for you to figure it out.”

======

“Well, well, well.”

He had more or less expected something like that from Sirius.  He hadn’t known what Sirius was going to say, but he knew it was going to sound suggestive.

“Shut up.”

Sirius folded his hands behind his head, James was looking prepared to watch someone other than him get put through this, and Peter was trying to look invisible, which meant Peter was feeling guilty.

“The walls have eyes, Mate.”

“Or Hogwarts has rats.”  He finished.  “Honestly Wormtail, a little loyalty among Marauders, hm?”

Peter looked even guiltier, and muttered something about “threatened to curse me.”

“So.”  Sirius seemed determined to bring the conversation back on track.  “Whatcha been up to?”

He dropped down on the bed.  “To tell you all the truth, I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing.”

“But you’re the one who’s always giving us advice.”  James pointed out.

He sighed.  “Yeah.”

“So how is it you’re so sure what to do in our lives if not your own?”

“I’ve pretty much been faking.”

“Well, now I’m filled with confidence in you.”

“Yeah.”  He turned and looked at all of them.  “There is…one very obvious problem that you guys don’t have.”

“That doesn’t necessarily have to be a problem.”  James said hesitantly.

“By all means James, tell me, what is the right point in a relationship to tell a girl that you turn into a bloodthirsty monster every full moon?”

“What, they don’t make a card for that?”

It served to lighten the mood.

“Flora’s a decent girl Remus, but I think the longer you wait to tell her, the harder it’s going to be.”

“Maybe I should just end the whole thing now before anyone gets hurt.”

“Right, that’s a great plan for life, just don’t get close to anyone.  Then you can end up alone.”

“Oh, I won’t be alone.  Eventually you’ll muck everything up with Lily, and it’s not as though these two are ever going to get girls.”  He shrugged.  “I’ll have you guys.”

“Now that is a depressing thought.  The four of us growing old together.”

======

30. First Fight

Ten more chapters….

Chapter 30- First Fight

There were some days James really missed their "History of Magic" classes. Ithad always been a good opportunity for a nap. Since the new term had started, it was as though all their teachers were going mad at once. Yes, he knew NEWTS were approaching and he knew they were rigorous, but really.

As they neared the end of transfiguration and they were cleaning up, McGonagall reminded them all that the following Saturday would be a Hogsmeade week-end, which James was delighted to hear, as their suspension from Hogsmeade week-ends was finally over.

"Brilliant, what's on for Hogsmeade then?"

Remus and Sirius gave him bizarre looks.

"What?"

"Wow." Sirius crossed his arms and gave James a wondering look. "You're like the worst boyfriend ever."

"What?"

Sirius gave Remus a thoughtful look. "Reckon Lily would be interested in me after she dumps James, as she undoubtedly will?"

"What the HELL are you on about?"

"Saturday is Valentine's Day, dipshit."

"Oh Bugger me!"

James said that somewhat louder than he intended, as all the heads in the class swiveled towards them and McGonagall glared.

"Mr. Potter! Is there a problem?"

"Not at all Ma'am." Sirius said with his trademark "I'm-so-innocent-what-fireworks-those-aren't-mine" look. "James just didn't believe me when I told him you were twenty-nine, he insists you don't look a day over twenty-five."

"Nice try Mr. Black. Five points from Gryffindor for that uncalled for outburst in class."

But James barely heard any of this. Valentine's Day! How could he have forgotten! It was like the number one most important girlfriend holiday! Merlin, she was going to dump him if he didn't get his act together quickly.

"Oh cheer up James; it's just one of those dreadful holidays invented by the card companies to force you into spending loads of gold." Peter announced as they left class.

"Spoken like a man who's single." Sirius remarked airily.

"Shut up, you're single too."

"Yes, but I consider ita good thing. No need to waste gold buying things for someone else."

"Who's wasting gold?" Alice's voice asked behind them, and they immediately changed the subject with the arrival of the girls.

"No one, say do any of you know the score of the Puddlemere United game yesterday?" A bit of an awkward transition, but it did the trick as the conversation turned to quidditch and away from Valentine's Day.

Unfortunately, they were not really watching where they were going, and Avery came barreling around a corner and run full tilt into James, and then stumbled into Lily. James might have been inclined to ignore it if Avery had not then hissed "Watch where you're going, Mudblood."

In a second James had dropped his bag and drawn his wand.  “Apologize to Miss Evans.”

Avery smirked, looking only slightly unnerved by the fact that he was staring down the end of James’s wand.  Lestrange and Rosier were coming out of the crowd beginning to form, but James knew Sirius and Remus would be behind him.

“Why should I?”  Avery drawled.  “Not like I said anything that wasn’t true.”

“James come on.”  Lily said quietly behind him.  “It’s not worth it.”

“I said apologize Avery.”

“Come on James, I don’t want you getting in trouble over a jackass like him.”  She urged.

Avery sneered.  “Yes James, listen to your mudblood girlfriend.”

“Locomotor Mortis.”  James was the quickest to get a spell off, Avery keeled over stiffly. 

“Expelliarmus!”

“Stupefy!”

“Stop it this instant!”

Unfortunately, they had chosen to trade hexes outside the classroom of Hogwarts very formidable deputy headmistress.

“Potter, Black, and… finite incantatem... Avery.  In my office.  Now.”

======

They were all waiting in the common room when James and Sirius came back in. 

“How bad?”  Peter asked.

“Fifty points.”

“Detention.”

“No Hogsmeade Saturday.”

They both threw themselves down in armchairs.

“Ouch.”  Remus remarked.

"James, you didn't have to fight him." Lily said reproachfully.

"Was I just supposed to let it go?" He said disbelievingly.

"You could."

"WHAT?!"

Sensing that this was quickly building into a fight, Sirius muttered "Hey, look at the time. I have to go...um...somewhere else."

"Yeah. We have to go do a...thing."

With absolutely no tact whatsoever, their friends left them alone, but in the time it had taken them to make their incredibly lame excuses, James had calmed down somewhat.

"Lily, I'm not just going to stand around and let someone call you horrible names."

"It's not the first time I've heard it James, and I'm sure it's not that last."

"Well you shouldn't have to hear it at all!"

"So you're just going to go around hexing everyone who insults me?"

"Well, yes, that was my plan."

"James." She laid a hand on his arm. "I mean it when I say it really doesn't bother me."

"It should." He muttered.

She was beginning to get frustrated. "I think I'm capable of deciding when to be insulted."

"Well, I'm insulted. You're my girlfriend."

"Why should it bother you? You're not the one they're calling names. Unless...you're embarrassed?"

"Of course not! My family isn't like that! We don't care about those things."

"Well, the rest of the wizarding world does. Or a big part of it." She replied evenly.

"Do you really think I'm like that?"

"Your family is no less pureblood than anyone else's! Than Sirius's, or Avery's for that matter! Are you honestly so naive you think people aren't going to talk?"

"They shouldn't talk! And I would never call you that!"

"Do you expect a medal for being so politically correct then?" She snapped.

"No, I expect you to not question if I'm embarrassed. The fact that I’m dating you should show I'm not like that!"

"So you're dating me to make a point?"

"Stop twisting my words! If you're so sure I'm dating you to make a point and I'm embarrassed by it then why are you dating me?"

She wasn't sure how to answer that, or how they had gotten to this fight, but she was saved from thinking of anything.

"Never mind, I have to get out of here." He snapped, and walked out of the portrait hole.

======

Remus and Flora were sitting on the stairs, not really intending to eavesdrop, but they did hear angry voices andJames slamming out.

"Ouch. First fight." She remarked.

"I wonder what our firstfight will be about."

"Maybe we won't fight."

"Maybe not, I'm not very combative." He agreed.

"No, but I could see you being really passive-aggressive." She mused.

"I'm not passive-aggressive. We can fight right now if you want."

"We're not fighting right now." She patted his arm.

"So that's something you get to decide?"

"Of course."

"And I'm just supposed to know that rule?"

"Right."

"Okay."

======

Lily sat in one of the armchairs in the corner of the library, not really studying, and definitely feeling shell-shocked. James was mad at her, really mad, and she really hadn't intended for that. She really didn't care what someone like Avery thought, and she didn't want James to get in trouble over it. She'd heard "mudblood" the first time she stepped on the Hogwarts Express, and if she was going to get mad every single time she'd heard it since, well, she would have spent most of her life at Hogwarts being mad. It just wasn't worth it, and that was what she had wanted to make clear to James.

She hadn't done a very good job, and she wasn't sure how to fix it.

She was more than a little surprised when Sirius Black came in and pulled a chair over to join her. She would guess, if James was going to send anyone, it would be Remus.

"Sirius, I really don't want to talk."

"That's fine. I'll talk. You can just listen." He propped his feet up on the table. "I know you think I'm an idiot, that's fine, but you should know James didn't send me. About hexing Avery, you were probably right, it's not worth it. I mean, for James. I just got in because I like seeing the veins in McGonagall's forehead pop and I haven't filled my weekly quota of quality time with Filch, but that's beside the point. Avery insulted his girl, and James fought with him, that's just a guy thing Lily, it's what we do. Well, the decent types like me and Potter anyway." He paused for a moment, either to let her consider this or to congratulate himself on being a great guy, she couldn't tell. "But that's not the real problem. There's a deeper pureblood vs. muggleborn issue that you're always going to have to deal with. I'm not speaking for James, but I'm speaking as a guy whose familythinks more like Avery's than I want to admit, and James is going to put up with a lot in order to be with you. Maybe not here inside Hogwarts, but in the greater wizarding world. That's why he got so mad when you asked if he was embarrassed or just trying to make a point. Because considering all the crap he's going to have to put up with from people like my family, he must really want to be with you." He shrugged. "The world is full of Averys Lily. Let him hex the ones he can." He stood, and then held out a hand to her. "And you might try apologizing. I tried apologizing for the first time the other day. Didn't like it much."

She sighed, and accepted the hand up.

"I really don't think you're an idiot Sirius. At least, not always."

"Now I can die happy.  And on an unrelated note, I believe James is out on the quidditch pitch.”

======

She did find him on the quidditch pitch and rather than calling out to him, she sat in the stands and waited for him to notice her.  Though she was by no means an expert on the subject, she could see he really was an excellent flier.  She had never been particularly graceful on a broom, so she had to give him credit for that.  Finally, he noticed her and flew down to meet her.

“Hey.”

“I had a talk with Sirius.”  She said without preamble.  His look of surprise confirmed that he really had not sent Sirius to talk to her.  “And after explaining to me what it means to be a big strong man, he also explained what things look like from his, or in this case the pureblood, point-of-view.”  She sighed and decided he was right, apologizing was not easy.  “I’m sorry James, I guess these issues, or insecurities, are mine.”

“Well, I’m sorry I jumped on you.”  He blushed.  “Figuratively, I mean.”

“No, you had a right to get mad, I accused you of some pretty nasty things.  I guess, I’ve just gotten used to hearing that sort of thing from people like Avery, and I just ignore it, so when you get in a fight over it, it just draws attention to it.  It reminds everyone that I’m different.”  She sighed.  “I don’t want to remind people that.  I wasn’t people to just say I’m head girl, not that I’m head girl and I’m muggle born.  It’s like that’s all people are ever going to notice.”

“Maybe I’m never going to get it.  Maybe I can’t get it.”  He said.

“Maybe not.”  She smiled at him.  “I guess, in a way, I should thank you for “defending my honor” or whatever you thought you were doing.”

“You’re laughing at me!”

“No, really, I appreciate that you risked a lecture from McGonagall, and detention, and Hogsmeade for me.”

He nodded graciously.  “You’re welcome.  So we’re okay.”

“Of course we are.”

“And this fight…was…now correct me if I’m wrong…your fault?”

“Yes, and remember it well James, it won’t happen often.”

He grinned.  “Should we go in?”

“We could also stay out here for awhile.”

======

31. Valentine's Day

I’m so glad you guys like Sirius.  I like him too.  A lot.  But you could probably tell that.  The real men just never quite live up to the fictional characters, do they? 

Chapter 31- Valentine’s Day

Lily was in a bad mood, a very bad mood, as they walked to Hogsmeade on Saturday morning.  On Wednesday night James had thrown out the comment that he didn’t want her to have to miss going to Hogsmeade just because he wasn’t allowed to go.  This threw her because she had simply assumed she would skip the Hogsmeade trip.  After all, she had been to Hogsmeade a million times, and she wanted to spend Valentine’s Day with her boyfriend.  Unfortunately, her boyfriend didn’t seem that concerned with it.  She knew he had not forgotten about the day, as beautiful red roses had been delivered to her at breakfast, softening her slightly, but she was still put out.

The fact was that she had to go to Hogsmeade, she had to get to Gladrag’s.  Although she had not told any of her friends, Lily had applied to half a dozen Ministry training programmes, and she would have to go to interviews for them.  She needed dress robes that were nicer than her school robes but not as fancy as her party ones.  Yes, she could probably order them, but pride dictated that if James didn’t care about spending the day with her, she didn’t care about spending the day with him, and pride was what kept her walking in the direction of Hogsmeade rather than turning around.

It was even worse because everyone else in the world seemed to have a date.  Well, actually, in this case “everyone in the world” consisted of Flora and Remus, and they weren’t the kind of couple into nauseating displays of public affection, but among the rest of her friends, everyone else was in as bad a mood as Lily.  According to Alice, Frank was in some critical phase of his Auror training and evidently the Ministry of Magic did not consider “visiting your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day” an excuse worthy of letting him out.  She was mostly sulking and occasionally muttering nasty things about the Ministry under her breath.  Everyone else was just as sulky.  It was not shaping up to be one of the better Hogsmeade days of her Hogwarts years.

======

When James had said Lily should go on to Hogsmeade without him, he hadn’t actually thought she would, he’d just felt like it was something he ought to say.  He supposed that was what he got for fighting, and as it turned out, it was for the best.  As the day went on he realized that setting up the whole romantic scene he had planned was a little more work than he had anticipated.  The flowers at breakfast, which he could tell she had liked despite herself, had been just the beginning.  It had taken several days and several illicit trips to Hogsmeade to manage everything, and he certainly hoped she appreciated it.  Considering all the times he’d screwed up in just the past week, she’d better like it or he would find himself quickly single.  And given it had taken him the better part of three years, thousands of “no’s” and several sharp slaps before she actually agreed to go out with him, he was not going to end up single again that quickly.

At least, not if some very ambitious planning and good bit of gold could prevent it.

======

As far as Sirius could tell, it was either stay in the common room with the first and second years, help James set up his elaborate “seducing Lily” plan (more of a “not getting dumped” plan considering how he had been going), or wandering aimlessly through the Hogwarts corridors.  None of these options really held much promise of being very interesting, but in the end he opted for the last.  Fact was, Sirius had found lots of interesting things without meaning to when wandering through the Hogwarts halls, and he wasn’t so arrogant as to think he knew all the school’s secrets yet.  You never knew where you might come across an interesting room or secret passage.

At any rate, it was better than watching lovesick eleven and twelve-year-olds attempt to put moves on each other in the common room.  He actually didn’t mind being single on Valentine’s Day, in fact, he usually made a point of seeing that it worked out that way.  It wasn’t that he couldn’t be romantic if he wanted to, he just didn’t really see the point.  To put all the effort required of a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day required you had to really like a girl, and while Sirius had “really liked” a lot of girls during his years at Hogwarts, none of them had inspired that kind of desire for something more long-term.  Besides, there was nothing wrong with keeping your options open.  On the other hand, keeping his options open might also land him spending the evening with Peter. 

He was up near the North Tower where they had divination, when he had still taken divination, when he walked past a small alcove with a window seat set back into the wall.  Almost entirely hidden from view, he walked right past before he noticed her there and doubled back.  Dressed casually instead of severe black with the Slytherin colors, he almost didn’t recognize her.  She was, predictably, reading.

“Always with the books.”  He remarked.  “Bit of a nerd, aren’t you?”

She jumped, absorbed enough that she had not heard him approaching.

“That’s the second time I’ve snuck up on you.”  He continued.  “I’d think, living in Slytherin, you’d want to be a little more alert.  You know, for when your house-mates try to kill you in your bed and all.”

“What are you doing here?” 

“Walking around.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious.  I meant, why are you not in Hogsmeade with everyone else?”

“Ah, well, that would be a result of my “absolutely appalling behavior and inability to conduct myself in way that reflects appropriately on the school.”  At least that’s what McGonagall said.  I think it’s all part of a vast conspiracy.  I suppose I could ask you the same thing.”

“Same story.  At least, I’m assuming that little speech translates to you got caught hexing someone.”

He couldn’t keep a wide grin off his face.  “You hexed someone?  Who?  Why?”

“Adrian Travers.  And I had my reasons.”

“What hex did you use?”

“Rather not say, then it will be more of a surprise when I use it on you.”

“I look forward to finding out.”  He almost meant that.  She was nothing if not surprising.    He hesitated, wondering if he should ask something that had been on his mind for a few weeks.  Not that it really mattered, not that he cared, but….”Can I ask you something?”

She arched an eyebrow.  “I’m not stopping you.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets.  “In the owlery, when you said my brother would be a Death Eater in a few years, were you just guessing, since it’s not all that hard to guess, or did you actually hear, or see, something about him?”

Whatever she had been expecting, it was not that.  She paused a moment before asking a question of her own.  “Your brother doesn’t go to Hogwarts, does he?”

He shook his head.  “After I went so bad, my parents decided they didn’t approve of Dumbledore or the curriculum, he goes to Durmstrang.”

She nodded slightly.  “To answer your question, no, I haven’t heard, or seen, anything about him specifically, I just heard the name last summer as someone who was friends with a group who are nearly all Death Eaters or headed that way.”

“Right.”  That was pretty much what he expected.  “Thanks.”

“If I may ask, why do you care?”

“You shouldn’t have to ask that.  You have a brother.”

She smirked.  “Yes, one who I hate.”

She sounded so convinced of it herself that he might have believed her, did he not remember a scene at the train station.  “No you don’t.  You might want to, but you don’t.”

======

Her shopping accomplished, Lily had bought a set of very nice dark blue dress robes that managed to look serious and still stylish.  With that done, she had little idea what to do with herself except go with everyone else to have a drink in the Three Broomsticks.  If she had hoped for this to improve her mood, it had the opposite effect.  Nothing like being surrounded by happy couples on Valentine’s Day when your own boyfriend is a complete prat.  She sighed, and then jumped as Alice slammed down her butterbeer so hard Lily was surprised the bottle didn’t break.

“Lily, for Merlin’s sake, go back to school!”

“What?”

“Well, you’re so clearly pissed that you’re doing exactly what James told you to do.  So go back to Hogwarts already and deal with it and stop letting something as stupid as pride stop you from being with your boyfriend today when that’s so clearly what you want.  And I have a feeling when you get back to school you’re going to feel bad for all the nasty things you’re thinking about him, because he probably just got rid of you so he could plan some sort of elaborate set-up.”

Lily narrowed her eyes.  “Do you know something?”

“No, except that I’ve seen James Potter in action for over six years and he would never do something simple and tasteful when he can do something big and potentially destructive.  So go already, no one will think less of you.”

Alice was, as usual, right.  Lily only hesitated a moment before grabbing her bags and saying “See you later.”

Alice raised her butterbeer in a half salute.  “Without me, they’d all be single.”

======

“Er, Remus, I know this is the popular place and all, but….it’s a little nauseating, don’t you think?”  Flora muttered under her breath.

He could not help but give a sigh of relief.  He did, in fact, think Madam Puddifoot’s tea shop, with it’s frills and bows and cherubs, was extremely nauseating, but he had thought perhaps she liked it.  After all, you could never guess what girls might find appealing, and it was the popular place for “couples” to spend a Hogsmeade afternoon.  He was delighted to hear she felt the same way.

“Want to get out of here?”

“Oh yes, let’s.”  She gasped in relief. 

They paid and left quickly, and opted just to walk along and look in the shops.  It was a nice day, and unseasonably warm for February, and so far the whole day had just been…pleasant.  For a girl who Remus had always considered very different from him in personality, he found that he and Flora were often on the same wavelength, and that that was comfortable.

Of course, whenever he started to get too pleased with his life she would always remember the small detail about himself that he hadn’t told her.  If he was logical, and he usually was, he knew James was right- the longer he waited the worse it was going to be.  The thing was, he had never actually told anyone.  The faculty who needed to know had been informed by Dumbledore, and James and Sirius and Peter had worked it out on their own.  The only other person who knew, as far as he knew, was Snape, who had found out through Sirius’s sheer idiocy in fifth year.

It wasn’t that he had never dated before, but nothing that had suggested it might go beyond a date for a dance or a single Hogsmeade week-end, certainly nothing that would have required that kind of disclosure.  He wasn’t even sure how he would go about saying it.  So, lovely weather we’re having, did I mention I’m a werewolf?  Not exactly.

“What are you shaking your head at?”  She broke into his thoughts.

“Nothing.  Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“You know Flora, a smart girl wouldn’t ask so many questions and risk spoiling any surprises that might be planned for Valentine’s Day.”  And with that, he successfully avoided lying or telling the truth.

======

Lily came slamming into the boys dormitory to find Sirius Black alone and…reading a book?!  As strange as that was, she decided not to worry about it.

“Where’s James?”

He raised an eyebrow.  “Don’t bother to knock Lily.  I could have been naked you know.  Or is that what you were hoping for?”

She ignored this.  “Sirius, try to focus.  James?”

“I don’t know.”  He said promptly.

“You’re not even attempting to lie well.”

“No, it didn’t seem worth the effort, you wouldn’t believe me anyway.  But even though I am lying, I’m not going to tell you where he is.”

“Fine, I’ll just wait here.”  She sat, and crossed her arms.  He stared at her.

“Bloody hell, you’re serious.”

She didn’t even bother with the over-used pun on his name.

======

James came into the common room to find Sirius on the couch, reading a book. He frowned.

"What are you doing?"

"We call it reading?"

"Why?"

"I need a reason?"

"You? Yes."

"Do you really want to discuss this, because it seems to me you might be more interested in the fact that Lily is waiting for you in our room."

James blinked, his eyes popping slightly. "Wha-?"

"Don't look so shocked, it's not like she's reclining naked on your bed. At least, she wasn't when I left. She might be now. You should go check."

James shook his head to clear it of that distracting, though not unappealing by any means, image. "Did she seem mad?"

"A bit, but that might be just because I asked if she wanted to see me naked."

"Sirius!"

"She's waiting James."

He looked torn between pummeling Sirius or dealing with Lily.

"I'll take care of you later." He warned.

"I look forward to it." Sirius called after him as he hurried up the stairs.

======

James didn’t look surprised to see her there, so she guessed Sirius had told him, and she could only imagine the suggestive spin Black would put on “Lily is waiting in your room.”

“You’re back early.”  He said nervously.

She nodded.  “There wasn’t much to do in Hogsmeade.  Besides, I wanted to spend the day with you.”

“I’m glad you came back.”  He bit his lip.  “I had a surprise for you, but…”  He shrugged, then held out a hand.  “Come on, I’ll show you.”

She accepted, remembering what Alice had said: “he would never do something simple and tasteful when he can do something big and potentially destructive”, and wondered what he was up to.  James determinedly ignored Sirius’s “Well that didn’t take long” on their way out of the common room, and closed the portrait hole firmly behind them.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

It occurred to her that she wasn’t at all angry at him anymore, and she was wondering if this was going to be a pattern in their relationship, that she’d be furious with him until she saw him.  She noticed now that they were definitely going up, and when she saw they were at the bottom of a well-known set of stone steps, she paused.

“James…”  She began.  Those were the steps up to the astronomy tower.  Lily was no fool, she knew what the Hogwarts astronomy tower was known for and it had nothing to do with astronomy.

“Oh!”  He correctly interpreted her hesitation.  “No, I wasn’t trying to imply anything, really!  It’s just…well…come on!”

She gave in and followed him up the narrow curving staircase.

“There!”  He opened the door, with a definite note of pride.

“Oooh!”  A sound escaped Lily that was dangerously near squealing.  Late afternoon sunlight was filtering into the tower, which was decorated with floating candles (still unlit) and red and white flowers.  Across the stone floor, a white blanket was spread, on which a picnic was set up, with every detail down to silver candlesticks.  James was watching her nervously.

“See, it would have worked better at night, because, you know, the stars and everything…”  he explained quickly.

“Oh no, it’s perfect!”  She insisted.

He grinned, running a hand through his hair.  “Good.”

======

Alice was angry.  Oh, she had insisted over and over again she wasn’t, and she understood, but the small, illogical, and childish part of her mind insisted it wasn’t fair.  Everyone else got to see their boyfriend on Valentine’s Day.  That was why she exploded at Lily for being so ridiculous.  James might not get everything right, but he was trying, and Lily got to see him every day.  While she found herself left with Peter Pettigrew.

She didn’t really like or dislike him, although she was willing to admit that was because she didn’t really know him.  He seemed the odd one out on that little group, all the others had such strong personalities, and she couldn’t tell where he fit in.  They seemed to give him a hard time, but he didn’t seem to mind, maybe that was the dynamic.

“So, Peter, how are you?”

He looked a little surprised at being addressed so directly.

“Uh, fine.”

“You seem a little lost without the rest of them.”

He shrugged.  “They always have better things to do lately.”

“Well, we’re graduating soon, then we’ll all have better things to do.”

He sighed.  “Exactly.”

======

She could not help but be impressed by the thought and effort James had obviously put into this.  Everything from the food to the flowers to the music was perfect.  The timing turned out nicely, since they got to see a lovely sunset, at which point James produced a chilled bottle.

“Champagne?  Are you trying to get me drunk James?”

He raised an eyebrow.  “Would that work?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never been drunk.”

“Really?”

She cocked her head to look at him.  “Have you?”

“Er…”

“I’ll take that was a yes.”

It was beginning to get dark, and she realized everyone would be getting back from Hogsmeade soon, if they hadn’t already.

“I’m glad I came back early.”

“Me too.”

“I was getting pretty bored actually, Alice was depressed too, and Flora and Remus went off.”

“They seem to be getting on pretty well, don’t you think?”

She nodded.  “Yes, but when do you think he’s going to tell her he’s a werewolf?”

She wondered if it wasn’t just a little bit cruel that she got so much amusement out of making him speechless.

“How…how did you know about that?”

“I actually figured it out a couple months ago.  There was obviously something weird going on, and then I realized he was always “sick” so regularly, and always on the full moon.  It doesn’t take a genius.”

“You haven’t told anyone?”

She shook her head.  “Of course not.  It’s not my secret to tell, and I can understand why he’d prefer to have less people know.  I assume Sirius and Peter know?”

“And the teachers.”

“He should tell her.  She can handle that he’s a werewolf, she won’t be okay with him lying to her.”

======

James seemed to think she would be mad when he explained the real reason why they had become Animagi, and what they were really up to every full moon, and in a way she wanted to be.  It was very, very dangerous, werewolves could kill people.  But then, she was also impressed with the extent he would go to for his friend.  That said something about him.

They had agreed to stay up in the astronomy tower until the stars came out, so as to use it for James’s original purpose.  It was winter, and it got dark early, but even after the stars had come out neither of them felt any inclination to leave.  As they watched the sky, clouds began to roll over, and eventually, rain started to fall.  James sighed.

“I just can’t catch a break today.  I’m sorry.”

She smiled.  “I don’t expect you to control the weather James.  I think it’s been a good day.”

And later, when Lily fell asleep with her head on his shoulder, he had to agree.

32. Secrets Revealed

Worst.  Hangover.  Ever.  That’s why I didn’t post a new chapter last night, I went out right after work, and apparently felt compelled to remind myself why I can no longer drink like I did in college.  But I couldn’t leave you guys hanging with no new chapter, now could I?

Chapter 32- Secrets Revealed

Remus had looked everywhere for his girlfriend.  Well, if “everywhere” was the Gryffindor common room, but he had expected to find her there.  Lily and Alice were unhelpful, only able to tell him that she had left, but had not revealed a destination.  Then they gave him “the look”.  It was a sort of “we feel kind of bad for you because you have no idea that you’re in trouble but not bad enough to actually clue you in” look.  He’d seen other guys get it; this was his first time being on the receiving end of it himself.  He had, in fact, noted that Flora was being unusually brisk and cool with him.  Not so much that he could say she was mad exactly, but enough to make him aware that there was something not quite right.  He was a reasonable and sensible guy, and so he was going to find her, talk to her, find out what the problem was, fix it (probably involving him apologizing for something), and then all would be well and back to normal.  At least, that was how he planned it.  He forgot to factor in a fairly temperamental girlfriend.

He found her in the library, books open, looking supremely serious, like the perfect student.  This was definitely out-of-character.  Nervously, he sat down.

“What are you doing?”

“Transfiguration.”

Right, well, that’s that.  Should have asked a question that required a longer answer old boy.

“Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.”

He had heard about this before, when girls insisted they were fine, in that kind of voice, they were anything but fine.

“Of course, I can tell by your monotone voice and angry expression, both clear indicators of how fine you are.”

“Remus, do you want something?”

“I want to know what you’re upset about.”

She sighed, more out of annoyance than anything.  “I don’t know.”

“Ah….okay?”

“Really.  I don’t know.  There’s something Remus, something that you’re keeping from me.”

“What makes you think that?”  If she noticed that he didn’t actually deny it, she gave no sign.

“I just know.  I have a feeling.  Sometimes you start to say something and then you stop yourself, or I ask you what you’re thinking and you tell me something that’s clearly not true.  I…I don’t really know what to think.  Because all I can really figure is that you don’t trust me.”

“That’s not true…”

“Yes, it is.  Maybe you don’t even realize it, but there’s something about you that you’re not telling me, and it’s important.”  She looked him directly in the eye.  “I’m not sure how to deal with it.  But I do know I need to not be around you for awhile.”

He froze.  “You’re breaking up with me?”

“No.”  She said, sounding sure of that at least, and he started breathing again.  He wanted to tell her, just to say it right then.  He pictured saying it- I’m a werewolf.  But then, he made the mistake of picturing her reaction, as he expected it to be.  What if she hated him?  What if she was afraid of him?  And he didn’t say anything.

“Can you just leave me alone for a bit?”

“Yeah.  Yeah I guess.”  I think we’re having that first fight.

======

He found James and Peter in the Great Hall, early for dinner, and so passing the time by catching up on some homework.  Remus tossed down his bag.

“What is up with girls anyway?”

“Mate, if I knew that, I wouldn’t be sitting here working on an essay about vanishing potions, I’d be the richest and most sought-after wizard in the world.”  James replied, with a sympathetic look.  “Problems?”

“Mhm.  What’s Padfoot doing?”

“I don’t know, but I’d be willing to bet someone in Slytherin colors.”  Muttered Peter darkly.

Remus frowned, glad for a moment to think about someone else’s problems.

“Is he still chasing after her?  It’s so odd, I can’t think of anyone who hates dark families and Slytherins more, and he’s chasing the ultimate Death Eater’s sister?”

“Do you suppose he’s just doing his usual thing?  Snogging her until he gets bored?”

“Or more than snogging?”  Peter suggested, perking up in interest.

“He says he’s not.  And, it’s Sirius, I don’t think he’d...er…”

“He’s never had any qualms about kissing and telling before.”  James supplied.

“Exactly.”

“D’you think she’s like… brainwashing him?”

“Don’t be stupid Wormtail, he’s smarter than that.”

“I asked him right when we got back from holiday what he wanted from her.  He said he didn’t know.”

They were all silent for a moment, then Peter spoke with a force that was unusual for him.

“I don’t care what he says, I don’t like her and I don’t trust her.  Malfoy’s sister, it’s only a matter of time before she gets her fangs in him.  That girl is all kinds of wicked.”  Peter stopped talking as James and Remus began to look uncomfortable.  “She’s standing right behind me, isn’t she?”

They both suddenly became very interested in the top of the table.  Peter turned slowly and Arianna Malfoy was indeed standing right behind him.  Rather than looking angry that he had been talking about her, she smiled.  That cold, nasty Slytherin smile.

“Oh you have no idea.”

======

"Your friends think I'm going to seduce you and turn you to the dark side."

It was Sirius's turn to be startled when she spoke behind him as he was sittingon the steps on the evening of the full moon, waiting for James and Peter. He turned in surprise. Never before had she actually voluntarily started a conversation with him. Rather than commenting on that, he raised his eyebrows.

"You were talking to my friends?"

"They were talking about me. I overheard."

"How remarkably tactless of them, though not out of character. Don't worry about it, you're not my type."

"Black, every reasonably attractive and single girl in this school is your type, and I use the term single loosely."

"That's simply untrue Miss Malfoy. I'll have you know there are lots of girls in this school who don't interest me in the slightest."

"The first year ones?"

"Second years too."

"But third years are fair game?"

"Only if they're pretty."

"You're such a gentleman."

Suddenly he felt a foot prod him in the back- James under the invisibility cloak. He stood, planning to give an excuse to get away, but she always had to have the parting shot.

"Tell your littlefriend that if I hear him talking about me again I'll hex him."

"Duly noted."

======

Lily and Alice were sympathetic, but there was really nothing they could do.  If anything was going to get fixed, it was going to have to come from Remus.  Flora had tried, she really had, but she just didn’t understand him.  He could be nice, and funny, and a great boyfriend, but she just knew he had some kind of secret that bothered him more than he wanted to let on, and she hated that he didn’t trust her enough to tell her about it.

And so she was sulking.  There was really no other way to say it, and she was well aware of it.  She figured she was entitled to it.

It was after a great deal of deep sighs and muttering that Lily and Alice lost patience.

“Flor, go talk to him.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Yes you do.  You want to sit here and be pissed, but you also want to make up with him.  If you feel like he’s keeping something from you then maybe he is, you certainly know him better than we do.  But you’re not going to resolve anything sitting around our room sulking.”

“I’m not sulking.”

“Yes you are.”

“Yeah, I am.”

======

She'd always found it amusing that she could go up the boys' staircase but they couldn't go up the girls', but tonight she was glad of it. She'd corner him in their room if she had to. She knocked sharply, and when there was no answer, threw open the door, to find their room dark and empty.

It wasn't that late, nowhere near curfew,but she had seen them come up here, and she hadn't seen them leave. Still, they'd have to be back fairly soon or risk getting in trouble, so fine, she would just wait.

Curfew came, and went, and she began to wonder if they would ever come back…

She slowly became aware of voices.

"So many girls waiting in our room lately, and none of them waiting for me."

She blinked against the bright sunlight that was flooding the room, and then stared at James and Sirius and Peter, all standing in the doorway looking perplexed.

"Good morning Flora." Said James rather formally, and she realized she had fallen asleep waiting for them to get back.

"Do you think this would be a bad time to ask her about the reclining naked?" Sirius remarked in a loud aside to Peter. She ignored him.

"Where's Remus?"

They exchanged a glance that was decidedly nervous, all looked down, shuffled their feet, and refused to meet her eyes.

"Tell me James."

"He's in the hospital wing, but don't worry it's nothing serious." He said quickly.

"Why? Where were you guys? You were gone all night."

"Um, yes, well, it's like....Sirius?"

"Well, it's kind of...hard to explain...you know...”

"Never mind." She pushed past them.

"Flora wait!" James seized her arm. "He'll be back in an hour or so, can't you wait that long to talk to him?"

"Since I've waited all night, no." She jerked her arm out of his hand and stomped down the stairs.

"Does she realize she's going to have to battle Madam Pomfrey?"

"I think she's pissed off enough to win that battle."

======

Madam Pomfrey was not immediately in evidence when she walked into the hospital wing, so no one stopped her.  She found her boyfriend sitting in a bed behind a curtain.  He looked terrible, paler than she had ever seen him, with cuts scattered over his hands and arms and one particularly bad cut over his eye.  Even stranger, he seemed entirely unconcerned by all this, he was reading a book.  She gasped, and his head snapped up.

“What happened?”  She had forgotten she was angry.

“How did you know where I was?”

“James told me, but he didn’t want to give you up, so don’t be mad at him.  He didn’t tell me what happened to you, which is fine because I want to hear what’s going on from you.  I shouldn’t have to learn things about you from your friends.  Where were you last night?”

“I was out with James and Sirius and Peter.”

The voice in his head urged him to tell her, but he still hesitated.

“And they decided to kick your ass?”

“Of course not.”

“Then…?”  She gave him an impatient look and indicated all the cuts and scratches.

“It’s hard to explain…”

“Try me.”

There was no way around it, she was not going to accept any more excuses or lies.

He glanced around to make sure Madam Pomfrey wasn’t going to come back immediately, and sighed.

“Flora, I have a problem.”

She blinked at him.  “Is it…serious?”

He nodded.  “Do you know what last night was?”

Her nose wrinkled in confusion, in a less distracted mood he would have thought it was adorable.  “Saturday?”

He couldn’t resist a slight smile.  “Yes.  But it was also a full moon.”

He could tell she didn’t attach any significance to this.  He couldn’t bring himself to actually say the words, so he tried to hint her along.

“Think about Defense Against the Dark Arts Flora.”

She was frowning at him, obviously not liking this guessing game, but then he saw it all come together in her eyes.  She shook her head slightly, as though to clear it from something.  She looked at him, her eyes wide, not frightened, but curious.

“Remus, you’re not…”

He gave her a short nod., and then knew he had to say it, he had to get it out there between them.  He realized in a moment that he had never actually said the words before.  She took several quick steps back, almost involuntarily, and he winced.  So that was that, she knew and now she was likely going to run away screaming.  Not that he blamed her.

“I’m a werewolf.”

The silence was the loudest thing he had ever heard, it seemed to ring between them.  She stood very very still, watching him with an unreadable expression.  He waited for it to sink in, then she would run away screaming.  She would probably tell people, and he’d have to leave Hogwarts, other parents would certainly object once the word got out.  He’d been stupid really, to think it would work out, he was amazed the secret had been kept this long…

“Well…” she finally began.  He hated this, he almost preferred the running away and screaming rather then the switch to cool, detached politeness followed by a quick exit.  “Is that all?”

He stared at her.  It wasn’t as though she was muggle-born and unaware of the dangers and prejudices, she ought to know what it meant.

“Flora, I don’t think you’re really getting this…”

“What am I not getting?  I know it must be hard for you, I know you’d face a lot of prejudice if people knew, but it doesn’t change how I feel.”

“But-“

“But what?  I don’t care!  Or I do, but only inasmuch as it’s a part of your life.  I wish you’d let me help you rather than keeping a secret.”

He shrugged.  “Well, this is it, no more secrets.”

She smiled and lightly touched the cut above his eye.  “Does that hurt very badly?”

He gave a typically male shrug.  “Not really, Madam Pomfrey can get rid of it all, she just had to go sort out some second year Hufflepuffs who swallowed moonstone.”

“Ah.”  She pushed his hair back off his forehead, and then leaned over and kissed him.  Unfortunately, this was interrupted by Madam Pomfrey’s offended cry.

“Just what is going on in here?”

“Oh, er…”

“Uh…”

“You, young lady, are not supposed to be in here, and you, young man, that doesn’t look like resting to me.  Out!”

“See you later.”  She gave him a final grin as Madam Pomfrey hustled her out.

33. Boys Will be Boys

Allright, this is the deal:  There is a problem with the portkey.org website for people who are trying to upload html documents using Internet Explorer in Windows XP who have updated with the service pack thing because they didn’t know that that would wonk up their ability to upload on portkey.org (me).  They have e-mailed the mods but for the time being they cannot upload at home.  They are currently uploading this from work which could result in a lot of trouble and/or embarrassment so they won’t do it again.  Thus, I may not update until my technical problems are solved, which could be awhile because I am a technology moron.

Chapter 33- Boys Will be Boys

“Take me out to see Quidditch …. Take me out for the match …. Buy me Bertie's Every Flavor Beans…”

Peter was lying flat on his back, his eyes glassy, slurring through the words of the Quidditch fan song. The other three were looking at him and shaking their heads.

“Wormtail really can’t hold his liquor.” Sirius remarked.

They were sitting on the roof, a flat part that had once been a patio of some sort judging by the stone benches and fountains. From the worn stones and the grass and vines growing out from between them, they guessed it was long forgotten, but they had found it in their fourth year and added it to the list of secret meeting places. It was especially nice on nights like this, is the spring, when the weather was perfect. A few bottles of firewhiskey only added to the enjoyment. They really hadn’t spent any time with just the four of them lately, the nights in the Shrieking Shack didn’t really count because Remus was never really himself then. They could not help but think they would be graduating soon, and although they really didn’t plan on “going their separate ways”, they still wanted to spend time together before real life got in the way. Still, that didn’t keep the two with girlfriends from feeling guilty.

“Should we have invited the girls?”

Sirius shook his head as though he felt nothing but pity for them. “You two are so whipped. Of course you shouldn’t have invited the girls. This is a night for men. We are men. Men who can hold their liquor, men who-“

“-are going to have terrible hangovers tomorrow?” Remus suggested.

“You’re such a pessimist Moony.”

“You say pessimist, I say realist.” He replied.

“You can’t really think Lily would be okay with this kind of thing.” Sirius used the bottle to gesture over the roof and Peter’s unmoving form.

“Don’t underestimate her Padfoot.”

“I wasn’t James, honestly, I think Lily’s great, but she takes her head girl job pretty seriously.”

“Are you saying I don’t?”

“You said it, not me.”

“Lily does take it seriously, but she’s got more of a sense of humor than you’d think Padfoot.”

“So things are going well then?”

James leaned back, resting on his elbows. “Yeah. I think…” He glanced between the two of them, hesitating, wondering if they would laugh. “I think I’m in love with her.”

There was a long silence.

“Wow. That serious.”

“Well, you guys know I’ve liked her for a long time.” He ignored that they rolled their eyes at the understatement in that. “But now that I’m actually with her, and she talks to me and stuff. I guess I’m realizing I didn’t really get her before. I mean, she’s still smart and pretty, but there’s something more to her…” He shrugged and messed up his hair, more to cover his embarrassment and have something to do with his hands. “I mean, it’s not like I’ve been in love lots of times before so I know exactly what it’s like, I’m just guessing, because it’s different than other girls I’ve dated. We haven’t been together that long I know, but…do you think I’m too young to know what I want?”

“No. I mean, I think we’re all pretty young, but this is the point where you’re supposed to be figuring out what you want. And if you want Lily, then you’re really lucky you found her now.”

“So, are you thinking of making things…more serious…with Lily?”

Sirius placed enough significance on the question that they all knew what he meant , and although Remus never would have asked that sort of thing himself, he was looking very interested in how James would answer it.

“Well, I mean, I’m an eighteen-year-old guy. I can’t say it hasn’t crossed my mind. A few times. Every minute.” He looked up, pretending to be looking at the stars and making a point of not meeting their eyes. “But then I’m not a big enough idiot to push Lily into anything she’s not ready for, since then I’d just find myself single again.”

“Well said James.” Remus said, making a half-toast in his direction. He should have known this would make Sirius turn on him.

“You seem to have feeling on the subject Moony. By all means, share.”

“I have nothing to share mate. We’ve only been dating a few weeks…”

“So? Remember that waitress last summer? I’d only known her for like twenty minutes.”

“You’re really a slut though Padfoot.”

“Yeah, I kind of am.” He shrugged, and went back to drinking.

“You know Sirius, I’ve been noticing, you don’t seem to be filling your weekly quota of attractive women lately.”

“Well, we knew he’d run out of girls at some point, I guess it’s finally happened.” Remus remarked.

“Nah, there’s a very attractive Ravenclaw sixth year I was talking to the other day…I’m just not that interested in snogging random girls lately.”

A long silence followed this surprising announcement.

”You’re not interested in snogging random boys, are you?”

Sirius chucked an empty bottle at him, which he ducked.

“That’s not what I meant. Maybe occasionally I’d actually like to have a conversation with a girl, like I would with Lily, or Flora.”

“Sirius, I know what “conversation” means to you, and if you have a conversation with my girlfriend, I’ll kick your ass.”

“You know Prongs, I think he might be serious. And if he is, we have to face the fact that Padfoot may actually be beginning to show some maturity.”

“Merlin help us.”

======

Lily was sitting in the common room waiting for James. On Sunday mornings he usually met her in the common room at about nine o’clock, and they went to breakfast. It wasn’t something they planned or discussed, they just did. So by nine-thirty she was definitely wondering where he was. It was then that Alice and Flora came down and looked at her questioningly.

“Where’s James?”

“I’m not sure.” She admitted.

Alice looked amused. “Given his condition last night, I’d be willing to guess he’s still asleep. And when I say asleep, I mean passed out.”

“What do you mean?”

“Apparently your respective boyfriends, along with Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew, felt the need to prove their masculinity by consuming a very irresponsible amount of alcohol.”

“How do you know?”

She smiled. “I saw them staggering in, carrying Peter. They were too drunk to notice me. And they were singing.”

“Well in that case…” Flora seized Lily’s arm to pull her up. “I think we should give them a little wake-up call.”

They went upstairs and tried the door quietly. It was unlocked, and there was really no need for them to have been quiet as it would have taken a rampaging hippogriff to wake them up. Either that, or Lily throwing open the curtains with a hearty “Good Morning!”

Peter jumped out of bed with a confused “wha..?” but then fall back over with a moan. The rest of them made various painful sounds and dragged pillows over their heads.

“Lily, could you please leave us alone to wish for death?” muttered Sirius.

“But it’s such a lovely morning!” she replied, rather louder than was necessary.

“Who put all this cotton in my mouth?” mumbled James.

“I think this is what Hell must be like.” Remus moaned.

“No Darling, that will been when you’re joining us for breakfast.”

“Moony, I’d suggest the Forbidden Forest.” Sirius said from across the room.

“For what?”

“A convenient place to hide their bodies…”

“It’s not our fault you decided to break any number of school rules and some laws last night. Up you get then.”

======

When James could finally get up without wanting to die, which was about six o’clock on Sunday night, he left his friends still swearing that they were never going to drink again, and went to look for Lily. He suspected she wasn’t really mad, she had seemed amused more than anything. He found her tucked into the corner of the common room, herbology notes in her lap. He pulled over a chair. He had, in between the whining and wishing to die, and cursing the makers of firewhiskey, given some thought to what he had told his friends last night, that he was pretty sure that he was in love with her. He wasn’t quite sure how to tell her that or how she would react.

“How are you feeling?” She asked, with a sly smile.

“Me? Just lovely, thank you.” He answered cheerfully. “So.”

She waited, giving him a questioning look. “So?”

“I’ve been thinking. About stuff. I mean, about certain stuff. I mean, I’ve been thinking about you. And me. And about us, and stuff.” He sat back, as though pleased with the point he had made.

“James, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Well, we’ve been dating for a couple months now. So, you know…”

“Actually, it would seem I don’t know.”

“Oh, well, um, I have to go.”

He bolted back upstairs, leaving her staring after him.

“That boy just gets stranger every day.”

======

Next Chapter- Those “three little words”, and Sirius and Arianna come to a turning point (note I did not necessarily say “get together”).

34. Three Little Words

Okay lovies, I am going to keep trying to update at work because 1.) I haven’t heard from the portkey.org people on ways to fix the problem (still a technology moron) and 2.)  There are only 7 chapters left anyway.  And I don’t think I say it enough, but I really, really do appreciate your feedback.

And, if Sirius is saving himself for anyone, it’s obviously me…..

Chapter 34- Three Little Words

It was when they were heading to the dungeon for potions when they came upon a small crowd gathering that usually meant a fight.  James pushed aside some third years and then stopped suddenly as soon as he saw the people involved.  Rabastan Lestrange was a seventh year Slytherin, and along with his brother who had graduated years before, was known as someone you did not mess with.  He was smirking.

“What’s the matter Malfoy?  Did I hit a nerve?  A little too close to the truth?”

“I said take it back Lestrange.”

The person who was about to hex him was none other than Arianna Malfoy.  Sirius started forward but both Remus and James stopped him.  There was no chance they were going to let him get involved in a conflict between two Slytherins.  Even with the authority of Head Boy, James was not going to chance stepping in and trying to stop it.  The house politics in Slytherin were something he did not even want to contemplate, much less interfere with.

“Or what?” 

Sirius thought, from where he was standing, the scene was somewhat surreal.  Rabastan Lestrange was a big guy, and Arianna looked young even for a sixth year.  It hardly looked like a fair fight.  She was in over her head.  And Lestrange was known for being particularly vicious.  He shook off his friends’ restraining hands and stepped forward.

“Why don’t you play with someone your own size Lestrange?”

All eyes turned to him.  Lestrange stared at him, uncomprehending for a moment, and then glanced around, sizing up this new situation.  He saw James and Remus standing there, and apparently noted that none of his own friends were present.  He lowered his wand.

“Don’t waste my time Black.”  He turned away and pushed through the stunned crowd.

There was a long silence in which Sirius was painfully aware that everyone was staring at him, until James’s voice cut though the silence.

“That’s enough, the bell is about to ring, get to class.”

Arianna didn’t have a chance to say anything, because her blond friend seized her arm and dragged her away, but if looks could kill Sirius would have been dead on the spot.

======

James was more than a little nervous about graduation, which seemed to be looming in the very near future now, but he could certainly find one bright spot in it. In a school like Hogwarts, there was simply no way to get one's girlfriend alone for any decent amount of time without someone bursting in. In fact, one of the only times he was usually alone with Lily was Wednesday evening after the dueling club meetings. They would stay and put the Great Hall back the way it was supposed to be, just as they had after the first meeting. It was one of his favorite times of the week.

So he was more than a little annoyed that week when Peter decided to stay around and help. Now James understood that Peter was probably feeling a bit abandoned lately. He was spending a lot of time with Lily, Remus was spending a lot of time with Flora, and Sirius was just...being Sirius, but that seemed to keep him pretty well occupied. They were all busy with studying for NEWTS, and so it was true that James had not been seeing as much of his friends as he used to. That didn't mean he was going to let Peter interfere on time he had come to think of as Lily's. Especially since he had been trying for a week to figure out how exactly to tell her that he loved her. He had never imagined something so simple would be so hard to get out.

"Pete, you don't have to help us." He insisted, giving obviously significant looks towards Lily.

"Oh, I don't mind." Peter replied merrily, levitating a chair into place.

James lowered his voice. "Wormtail if you don't get going I'm going to hex you."

"Wow, look at the time, I have to go see that guy about that thing." Peter said loudly, suddenly, and with an apologetic smile at Lily, left them blessedly alone.

"So." James began, and Lily whirled to face him.

"Not that again! All week James, you keep saying "so" like you're preparing to say something important, and then you start talking nonsense and bolt off!"

"Oh yeah? Sorry." He hadn't realized he was quite so obvious about it. "Well, what I was going to say is...um...I sent in my application for Auror training today. I mean, it's still dependent on how I do on my NEWTS, but they told my Dad that assuming I do okay on them, everything else should be in order for me to start."

It wasn't exactly what he meant to say, but it was leading to it, and luckily Lily seemed interested in that line of conversation. "You've decided that's what you want to do?"

He nodded. "Always has been really. I mean, playing Quidditch would be fun, but this is more useful now. It's important."

"It's dangerous."

"The whole world is dangerous right now."

She nodded slowly. "I think...I got into the Ministry’s training programme for Experimental charms."

He stared. "Lily, that's great! How come you didn't tell me?"

"I wasn't sure, what I wanted to do. But I think I want to go to London, that way I'm closer to my family if anything...well, I'm just closer."

"So I'll be in London, and you'll be in London..." This seemed to James an opportune way to lead intowhat he wanted to say anyway. "You know I liked you fora long time Lily. And it took you a long time for you to agree to go out with me."

Her mouth twitched in amusement. "Because you insisted upon being an arrogant git?"

"Well, you must admit it wasn't just that..." He went off track.

"No, you're right, there was another man..." She mused thoughtfully.

"Wha-?" He had been going to say she was unbelievably stubborn and always had to be right. This was the first he'd heard of this.

"..but of course, I'll just have to live with that." She finished wistfully

"What 'other man' Lily?" He saidwith narrowed eyes.

"Well, I've tried to fight it James, but I've always felt this overwhelming, all-consuming lust for....Peter."

James choked on the breath he had just taken.

"WHAT?! Are you serious?"

Lily looked at him with a straight face for a moment longer, and then burst out laughing.

"Oh...my...God, you should see your face!" She gasped between peals of laughter. "Oh honestly...of course not! Are youinsane? You were just acting so serious, I couldn't resist. Oh I'm sorry, but the expression on your face was just so priceless!"

As soon as recovered from the shock of hearing "all-consuming lust" and "Peter" in the same sentence, he started to laugh as well. She had really been very convincing, and it had broken the tension he had been feeling.

"I'm sorry." She apologized, when they had both recovered. "You were saying something."

"Oh, well, just that I liked you for a long time. At least, I thought I did. I mean, I did, because I thought you were really pretty...I mean, I think you're really pretty, I still do, that didn't change. But I didn't really know you back when you didn't talk to me. So it's like I have these two different versions of Lily, the one who I thought I liked, who was pretty and smart, but then there's you...who's pretty and smart andmakes jokes about all-consuming lust for Peter...and it's even better." He realized that he was babbling and not really saying anything coherent. Just spit it out Potter. "Sorry, I really do have a point. I just...I still get nervous sometimes talking to you..." He took a deep breath. "I love you Lily."

Then followed the loudest silence James had ever heard.

"And I know we haven't been dating that long and you've had less time to work out what you're feeling, if anything, and you don't have to say anything at all. Just know that I love you." He would have kept babbling on, just to avoid silence, had she not leaned over and kissed him.

======

Lily was...well, she didn't know what she was. Everything after James speaking was a daze. She some how got back to her room (well, about an hour later). She was oblivious to Alice and Flora's idle chatter about homework. She was just...dazed.

"Lily? LILY!"

"Wha-?"

"I asked you, like four times, if I could borrow your charms book. Mine's downstairs and I don't feel like going to get it."

"Oh, yeah, sure." She tossed it over.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what?"

"Whatever has got you practically comatose."

She considered. Alice and Frank were way beyond the saying "I love you" point in their relationship, so this wasn't entirely unfamiliar territory to her.

"James said he loved me."

Alice and Flora practically threw their books aside. This was far more important.

"Did you...say anything back?"

"No..."

"Nothing?"

"No..."

"Ouch."

"Well what was I supposed to say? Thank you?"

“Did you run away screaming?”

“No, I kissed him.”

“Are you trying to win some kind of award?  Queen of mixed signals or something?”

“Thank you Alice, that’s helpful.”

"So you don't feel the same way?"

"I don't know what I feel! We've only been dating two and a half months!"

"There's not a time limit on something like this."

"I know. It's just such a huge thing to say. It scares me."

"Let me ask it this way Lily.Aside from actually saying the words, in this room, right now, no one else around to hear, do you love him?"

"I...I could. Maybe I already do. I..."

"Say he's going to break up with you tomorrow and move away to some foreign country because you're such a bitch for not saying it back..."

"Alice!"

"...It's an example! How do you feel now that he's gone?"

She considered that, and found she couldn't imagine her life without James in it. She had to admit that when she thought about her future, at university and beyond, she had unconsciously placed him in the picture. If he was gone...

"Oh God, I do." She whispered. "I didn't think I did, but I can't imagine my life without him, and..."

Alice gavea satisfied nod. "You shouldn't say it if you don't mean it Lily, but if you do, you should tell him."

She got up.

“Lily?  You know it’s really late?  He’s probably asleep?”  Alice called after her as she left the room.

======

"James! James wake up!"

Someone was shaking him lightly.

"Goaway." He mumbled.

"James!"

Without opening his eyes, his brain still fogged by sleep, he assumed it was Sirius, that was the person generally waking him up in the middle of the night to go to the kitchens or plan some elaborate prank involving humiliation of Slytherins, so he rolled away from the insistent shaking.

"FuckoffSirius."

"It's not Sirius, it's Lily."

That got through. He groped blindly for his glasses and put them on, and gaped at her.

"I need to talk to you." She whispered.

"Uh...okay..."

"Can we go downstairs?"

"Sure."

There was still a fire burning low in the common room, and he was trying to force his tired brain back into alertness.

"What would McGonagall say if she knew the head girl had been in our room?" He gave her a mock severe look that actually was alarmingly close to McGonagall's.

"I know, I'm sorry I woke you up. I really had to tell you something. I don't know why I didn't sooner, I-"

"No, Lily, I don't want you to feel like you have to say it just because I did. It doesn't matter, when, or even if you ever feel the same way. I don't want you to-"

She put her hand over his mouth to stop him.

"James, I love you."

His eyes widened a bit.

"I'm not saying it because I feel like I have to. I'm saying it because I want to, and because it's true."

======

Sirius was heading back to the common room rather late when someone grabbed the back collar of his robes and dragged him into an empty classroom.  Choking, he staggered around to face Arianna, who closed the door quickly and sealed it with a soundproofing charm, the reason for which became obvious a second later.

“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?” 

“At the moment, I’m thinking why you just tried to strangle me.”  He bit back, rubbing his throat.  She waved her hand as if this was irrelevant.

“Do you have any idea how much trouble you’ve caused me?”

“Well, I’m so sorry for TRYING TO HELP!”  He shouted back, “I wasn’t aware you apparently like being hexed.”

“Don’t be stupid, he wasn’t going to hex me!”

“So he just had his wand pointed at you for recreation then?”

“You and your sodding Gryffindor chivalry complex!  I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!”

“Don’t you know how dangerous Lestrange can be?”

“Don’t you know how dangerous my family can be?  I would think you, of all people, would understand!  This will get back to them, and my father will want to know why Sirius Black, of all people, feels the need to defend me.  Do you have any idea the trouble you’ve caused for me?  Did that even cross your mind?  I’d rather have been hexed by Lestrange than have to deal with the mess I’m going to be in now!  Do you realize what people are going to say?  Do you realize that you are a cautionary tale for how wrong children from good families can go?  Do you realize how much trouble I would be in if my father even knew I spoke to you?”

Sirius felt as if someone had knocked all the air out of him.

“I…didn’t think of that.”  He admitted lamely.

“That is obvious.”  She hissed, and then seemed to deflate slightly.  She leaned against the edge of a desk, sighing.

“Look, why don’t I tell people that I had my own issue with Lestrange, and I just took that moment to settle it?”

She shrugged.  “I’m sure the owls are already on the way to Lucius with their own version of events.”  She frowned.  “I’ll come up with something.  Maybe he’ll believe I’m seducing you to the dark side.  Your friends found it fairly plausible.”

“I wouldn’t dream of questioning your skills as a seductress.”

“I can’t even tell if that was a compliment or an insult.”

He was silent for a moment, then the question came out of its own accord.

“Why do you?”

“What?”

“Talk to me?”  He took a step closer.  “Why do you talk to me if it would get you in so much trouble?”

“O-oh…I…”  She tried to take a step back, but there was a desk directly behind her.  “I don’t know.”

He closed the distance between them in two steps.  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get flustered before.”

“What are you doing?”

“Why?  Am I making you nervous?”

In a quick, elusive movement, she ducked away from him.  She stared at him for a moment, her breath coming quickly, and then scooped up her bag and took the spell off the door.

“Just leave me alone.  Don’t talk to me anymore.  I didn’t expect…just stay away from me.”

She slipped out the door.  Sirius started after her, and then leaned against the desk to catch his balance, since the world seemed to be reeling.

======

He was still shaking his head in confusion when he walked into their room, and he was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t immediately notice the expectant and slightly accusatory looks from his roommates.  He dropped his bag by his bed, tossed aside his tie and took off his shoes before he realized they were all staring at him.

“What?”

“Where have you been?  Because we’re all assuming that it might have something to do with a Slytherin girl that we think you really ought to explain.”

He sighed and raked a hand through his hair.

“Yes and no.  It’s irrelevant now, she made it pretty clear she wants absolutely nothing to do with me.”

“What did you do to her?”

“Absolutely nothing!  I am being completely honest when I tell you guys I have never done anything with that girl except talk.  And, as I said, that apparently isn’t going to be happening anymore anyway.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“Well, I really wasn’t given a vote on the subject.”  He replied sharply, before grabbing a book and going back down to the common room.

35. Attack

I’m at work and guess how early I had to come in?  7!! 7 am!  I have sooooo much to finish today before I go out of town.  With these kind of hours you’d think I was important.

That was by way of mentioning I’m going out of town.  I didn’t plan to leave you in a bad place, just happened that way.  I’m going to New York, where I will spend an obscene amount of money on over-priced clothing. 

I’m so glad you all agree Sirius is saving himself for me….we wouldn’t want any unpleasantness. 

Chapter 35- Attack

James was sitting behind Lily in Charms, but not close to actually talk to her without anyone else hearing, so, since he had already mastered freezing charms, he settled on passing her notes.

Dear Miss Evans,

If I may be so forward as to ask, are you free tomorrow night?

Sincerely,

James Potter

-

Dear Mr. Potter,

My social schedule is very full, as always, but I might be able to move some things around. What did you have in mind?

Sincerely,

Lily Evans

-

Dear Miss Evans,

I’m glad you asked. With this lovely weather we’ve been having, what could be nicer than a trip to the lovely and scenic village of Hogsmeade

Sincerely,

James Evans

-

James, tomorrow isn’t a Hogsmeade day.

-

I know. (You can’t see me right now, but I am looking charming and mischievous!)

Lily chuckled a bit at that, and was about to write back that Hogwarts head boy was surely not suggesting sneaking out of school (not that she wouldn’t go, she was just making him squirm) when Professor McGonagall stepped into the charms classroom. While it was odd for her to come into a class, the sight of her white face made Lily freeze with the quill in her hand.

“All students will go to the Great Hall immediately.” Her voice was tense and tight. For a moment after this surprising announcement nobody moved, and then a murmur broke out among the students, until she repeated “Immediately.”

Chairs scraping, books and notes being shoved back into bags, all around was the murmur of “what’s going on?” and “are they canceling class?”

The Great Hall was already full of students, standing in tight groups whispering, or sitting at the house tables looking around apprehensively.

“The Head Boy and Girl are in charge. Miss Evans, Mr. Potter, no one is to leave this room.” And the huge doors swung shut. James stared after her with a look of outrage.

“They’re not even going to tell us what’s going on? Well, we’ll see about that.” He opened his bag, and Lily could see the silvery shine of the invisibility cloak.

“James, everyone will see!” She hissed. She wanted to know what was going on as well, but there was no way to explain James suddenly disappearing into thin air.

“I’ll be right back.”

He slipped out the doors, and finding the hallway empty, pulled the invisibility cloak over himself just in time, as voices approached.

“Just make sure none of the students leave Hagrid.” McGonagall’s voice was saying, as the huge groundskeeper positioned himself in front of the doors. James followed McGonagall as quietly as he could until he heard the babble of voices, and he paused just around the corner from where the teachers were gathered. Sirius had encountered Dumbledore once in the halls while under the cloak, and been scared out of his wits when Dumbledore had told him to get back to bed. If the Headmaster could see through the cloak, James didn’t want to chance it. He could hear them well enough from where he was.

“…simultaneous attacks on Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade.” Dumbledore was saying, and James felt his blood run cold. “And not before they put anti-apparition wards around Hogsmeade, the Aurors can’t get there. We’ll have to go.”

“Albus we can’t leave the school. They could attack here!”

“They won’t.” James had always heard people say that Dumbledore was the most powerful wizard alive, but to him the Headmaster had always seemed kind and a little eccentric. In that moment, he felt a power radiate from Dumbledore that frightened him. “Minerva, they will not set foot on Hogwarts grounds while I am alive.”

“We’ve always had a close relationship with the people of Hogsmeade, they’re only shopkeepers and families, we can’t leave them to an attack.” Said Flitwick’s squeaking voice.

Sensing they were about to move, James sprinted back to the Great Hall, and with a quick glance at Hagrid, pulled open the door. Hagrid glanced at it, and then shrugged and pushed it closed again just as James slipped inside. Since nobody was looking James hurried over to where Remus and Sirius were standing casually, and pulled the cloak off while they were blocking him from view.

Alice gave a little yelp, followed by “well that explains a great deal” and he realized belatedly that she hadn’t known about the cloak. Not that it really mattered, they were all looking at him expectantly.

“An attack, on Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley. The Aurors can’t get there. Anti-apparition wards. Teachers are all going…” he gasped, still out of breath. He looked around at all of them. “We have to help.”

“We can’t-“ Peter began.

“Wormtail, there are, what, fifteen teachers? Against who knows how many Death Eaters? Do you really think most of the people in Hogsmeade can defend themselves? Can you really see Madam Puddifoot fighting off a Death Eater? There isn’t anyone else! If they take Hogsmeade, where are they coming next?”

Remus and Sirius were nodding along with this.

“James-“ Lily began, and he turned and faced her, cutting her off.

“Lily, this is the way it is going to be. Not just today, but always. I need to know you can accept that.”

She knew he wasn’t just asking this once, but asking a bigger question about their relationship and their future. She might not like it, but she was going to have to accept that this was not the last time James was going to be recklessly riding into battle. It was a part of who he was, one that he couldn’t, and wouldn’t change, and he had to know that she could accept that about him. She decided just then that she could.

“I’m going with you.”

He started to shake his head, but she gave him an impatient look and snapped “James we can discuss sexism in emergencies later, okay?”

“We’re coming as well.” Said a voice behind him, and he turned and found Gideon Prewett and Nicole Murray, along with a few other Ravenclaws and Thomas Williams, a Hufflepuff Seventh Year who had been prefect when Remus had.

“I don’t want everyone getting in trouble-“ James began.

“This is our school too Potter.” Gideon cut him off.

He gave a short nod. “Good man Prewett. No one below Seventh Year then.” And receiving mutinous looks from a few fifth and sixth years, he added. “Someone has to stay here and protect the kids. O’Connor! Steadman!” The two Gryffindor prefects snapped to attention. “You and the other prefects are in charge. Now we just have to figure out how to get out of here, Hagrid is just outside the door.”

“I’ve got that covered.” Sirius announced, turning to the Ravenclaw girl. “Nic, give us a good, loud, girly scream.”

She gave him an odd look, but then shrugged and screamed loud enough that they all covered their ears. A moment later the door was thrown open by a startled Hagrid “What’s wrong?”

“Nicole thought she saw a…a…lethifold!” Sirius cried, with the proper amount of alarm, obviously just coming up with the first dangerous thing that came to mind. “Over there!” He pointed to the other end of the hall. This had the effect of making several other girls in the hall scream and drew even more attention from them as Hagrid hurried over to investigate and they all slipped out the door.

“You know lethifolds are only found in tropical climates?” Nicole remarked as they hurried through the halls.

“No, but apparently neither does Hagrid. You want to stay and discuss it with him?” Retorted Sirius. “How are we getting to Hogsmeade?”

“There’s a floo to the Three Broomsticks in McGonagall’s office.”

The Three Broomsticks was already full of people who didn’t know where else to go, being one of the more well-known and defensible places in the village. Madam Rosmerta didn’t see them immediately, she was pressing a towel against a man whose head was bleeding rather badly. James quickly took in the room, most of the people there were injured, or too young or old to fight. He stared for a moment at a group of children, none of them older than six or seven, huddled together, before Sirius gave him a firm shake. They could hear screams coming from outside.

“Let’s go.”

“All right, we should split up, but at least stay in groups, always make sure someone has your back, no one is fighting alone. Someone should stay here and protect this place. Not only is it mostly injured people and kids, but it’s the only floo to Hogwarts.”

“I will, Nicole and Ian and Louis can stay with me.” Said Gideon, who seemed to be de facto leader of the Ravenclaws.

Immediately outside of the Three Broomsticks it was eerily silent, but a strange green light fell over them, and looking up, they saw the Dark Mark hovering over three of the buildings across the street. Lily started toward them, but he stopped her. “There’s nothing we can do for them, let’s try to find people who are still alive.”

At the end of the street, James threw out an arm to stop everyone. Four Death Eaters, laughing, were gathered around several people, a family, screaming and writhing on the ground. He indicated for Remus and Sirius to go around to the other side of the building. The Death Eaters might have the advantage of experience, but they had strength in numbers and surprise.

He gave a nod to the others, and they all left the shelter of the building.

“Stupefy!”

Three of the Death Eaters were down, but one of them spun around and cried “Impedimenta!” Sirius almost caught it, but dodged, knocking into Remus, while Lily got off the next curse.

“Conjunctivitus!”

The Death Eater howled and clutched at his eyes, and Lily stunned him almost lazily. They ran over to the people lying in the street, still alive and staggering to their feet.

“What are…are you from Hogwarts?” A man asked.

James shrugged. “Can you walk?”

The man nodded.

“Go to…the Three Broomsticks I guess.”

He watched them go for a moment and then looked around at the Death Eaters collapsed on the ground.

“What do we do about them?”

“Kill them.” Muttered Sirius, before Remus shot him a look.

“Tie them up?”

They did, and took their wands for good measure.

A flurry of shouts and sounds of action from further up the street drew their attention. Wands still ready, they hurried up the street until they came into a sort of cul-de-sac of shops. It was familiar territory, there was the tea shop and the store where they bought quills, the glass in the window was shattered, but in the eerie green-tinted darkness it looked strange and foreign. Here they stopped, because the sounds that had drawn them had stopped and everything was silent and still.

It was Remus who sensed movement first.

“GET DOWN!”

“AVADA KEDAVRA!”

James would have been hit had someone not fallen on top of him and knocked him down, he was transfixed by what he saw.

Figured had emerged from the shadows, far too many of them. They were all masked, but one was not. Lord Voldemort.

The blazing red eyes bored into him even as he struggled to his feet.

“Expelliarmus!”

That was Lily, panicking, and he couldn’t believe she would try something so stupid. The Dark Lord obviously was not prepared for her to do something so stupid either, because his wand went spinning away. He laughed.

“You should remember little girl, magic is not all about a wand.”

He raised his hand, and she was thrown backward by an invisible force. She fell to the ground several feet away, unmoving.

“I had thought I would meet Dumbledore, but this is amusing.” The Dark Lord hissed. “You should not have left Hogwarts.”

“Now you tell us.” Muttered Sirius.

“Shut up.” Hissed the Death Eater nearest to him.

Sirius turned with a slightly surprised look and added pleasantly “Ah, Bellatrix, hello.”

“Crucio!”

“Protego!”

James was too late with the shield curse, her cruciatus curse hit Sirius and he screamed, falling to his knees.

“Enough Bella.” The Dark Lord spoke and her wand fell back to her side. James reached and pulled Sirius to his feet, he wavered for a moment, and then muttered “I’m okay.”

“Don’t do anything.” He whispered to all of them. They were surrounded, they were outnumbered, and James was out of ideas. His mind was racing. He had gotten them into this, they were all going to die, Lily was so terrifyingly still.

“And enough from you, James Potter.”

The Dark Lord raised his wand, he didn’t even have time to wonder how he’d gotten it back, and suddenly James was thrown to the side several feet. For a moment he thought it was the same curse that had hit Lily, but he landed softly, unharmed. He looked up and his heart gave a great leap. Dumbledore! He looked perfectly calm, James could not think of any time he had not looked perfectly calm, but the aura of power about him was unmistakable.

“You should not have come here Tom. Do you think an attack on an innocent village, a wizarding village, will bring you support? I’ve taken down your wards, the Aurors will be here soon.”

“The people have Hogsmeade have learned not to defy me.”

He aimed a killing curse at Dumbledore, James closed his eyes against the harsh green light, but Dumbledore flicked it aside as if it were nothing.

The Death Eaters had fallen back, waiting for some kind of instruction, and James saw an opportunity. He clutched his own wand, and whipped it around the Death Eaters nearest him. “Stupefy!”

There was a satisfying thud as two of them hit the ground. Bellatrix pointed her wand and at him, but Sirius pointed his wand at the shattered glass on the ground in front of the Quill shop, “Wingardum Leviosa!” and it flew at her, with an agonizing screech, she clutched at her face, dropping her wand.

Muttering a spell James didn’t even know, Voldemort sent a huge jet of flame at Dumbledore, who merely threw back some sort of icy force that extinguished it. Voldemort disappeared, and because he had given no order to the Death Eaters, James looked around wildly, to see where he might re-appear. Suddenly, Flora screamed and pointed.

He had reappeared behind Dumbledore, next to where Lily was lying. Instead of pointing his wand at Dumbledore, it was pointed at Lily.

“The girl is not dead yet. You say you do not fear death for yourself Dumbledore. Do you think she does?”

James started forward, only to have Remus and Sirius at once grab him. He tried to push them off, but they held tight. “It’s Dumbledore James, he’ll never let him!” Remus said in his ear.

Before either of them acted, the sound of shouts coming up the street, and the official sounds of a siren. The Aurors and the Ministry had arrived.

There was a moment during which nobody moved, and then Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters who were still conscious disapparated. Dumbledore turned to them, quietly taking in their disheveled, torn, and dirty appearance.

“It’s time to go back to Hogwarts.”

36. Recovery and Realizations

Right, so when I posted this chapter elsewhere the first time I posted this story, I had a mixed reaction to it.  Some people thought it was boring, some thought it was profound.  Personally, I think it belongs at this place in the story (Well, of course I do, I wrote it….)

Chapter 36- Recovery and Realizations

Lily could appreciate irony. For example, it was ironic that she had been the top student in her year all the way through school, been prefect and head girl, gotten accepted to several prestigious Ministry jobs, and gotten within three months of graduation, only to be expelled. That was ironic. Of course, they hadn’t been officially expelled yet, but she assumed Dumbledore was waiting until he was sure they weren’t going to die to tell them.

That didn’t feel like a sure thing either, she felt like she was going to die. It felt as though someone had used her head as a bludger, and every bone in her body ached. Every time she moved pain made her nauseous. Dying was starting to look like a pretty good alternative.

There was some sort of curtain pulled around her bed, and as she wavered in and out of sleep, she heard raised voices coming from beyond it.

“That’s enough Mr. Potter! You may see Miss Evans when I say so and not a minute sooner, so you can either sit over there, quietly, or go back to your common room, it’s up to you.” Madam Pomfrey snapped, followed by James’s contrite mumbling. Through her haze, she wished she could make James listen to her like that.

Madam Pomfrey bustled through the curtain, muttering disapprovingly, but then smiled when she saw Lily was awake.

“How are you feeling Dear?”

Lily attempted to answer, but all that came out was a sort of strangled mumble. Her throat felt dry and unfamiliar.

“Yes, I know you must be feeling dreadful. Honestly, I don’t know what you children were thinking! Sneaking out of school while there was a battle going on. Why, you all could have been killed! My blood runs cold just thinking about it. You should consider yourself very lucky young lady, this could have been much worse! But you’re going to need a good bit of healing as it is.”

Since Lily couldn’t exactly talk, she simply had to listen to this lecture, while Madam Pomfrey held what she assumed was a painkilling potion tantalizingly out of reach. Lily fixed her eyes on the clear liquid and Madam Pomfrey sighed.

“You’d better take this before Mr. Potter has a heart attack.”

The potion, thankfully, allowed her to drift back to sleep.

###

When she woke up again, the pounding in her head had ceased, and the light in the room no longer seemed so unbearably bright. And sleeping awkwardly on a wooden chair, his feet propped on the end of her bed, was James.

“James?”

She tried out her voice again, and found that this time it worked. James tried to jump up at the sound of her voice, forgot that his feet were propped on the bed, and ended up tumbling backwards onto the floor with a crash. Lily wanted to laugh, but that just made her head hurt, and besides it was a little mean to laugh at your boyfriend when he’s just been sleeping at your side in a very uncomfortable chair. James popped up immediately though, unhurt, and fixed her with a very serious look.

“How do you feel?”

She considered this. She felt…better. Score another one to the magic of Madam Pomfrey, she thought. She might be a bit too fond of lecturing, but you couldn’t argue with her skill. She slowly tried to sit up, and James helpfully propped a pillow behind her before fixing her with that concerned look again.

“Did Madam Pomfrey let you stay here?”

Her voice sounded hoarse, but normal.

“She…uh…doesn’t know.” He indicated the silvery mass of the invisibility cloak on a table next to the bed. “Lily, be serious, are you okay?”

That was an interesting turn of events, James telling her to be serious. He seemed so tense, so worried, she wanted to reassure him.

“Yes, I feel better, really.”

He collapsed back into the chair, but his eyes were still on her with an intensity that was unusual for him.

“That was so close. Too close. Gods Lily, I thought you were dead. What were you thinking?”

“James, it was your idea!”

“Not trying to disarm you-know-who himself! That wasn’t my idea!”

Then Lily remembered, you should remember little girl, magic is not all about a wand. She shivered.

“I panicked, I had to do something.”

He was shaking his head slowly. “I shouldn’t have let you come.”

“Let me come? Let’s clear something up right now James, you don’t control me. I don’t ask your permission to do anything. This macho caveman thing might be cute when you’re kidding, but if you’re kidding now it’s a pretty tasteless time to make a joke.”

“I’m not kidding at all. It’s not that I don’t think you’re capable, but if anything happened to you, I really don’t know what I’d do.”

She looked down, making little pleats in the blanket over her lap while she gathered her thoughts. “Well, I don’t particularly want anything to happen to me either.” She said in a lame attempt at humor, and then went on seriously. “James, look at me. If we’re going to be in this, and I think we’ve made that choice now, we’re involved, we have to be in it together. If this is your fight then it’s my fight too. I know you’re trying to protect me, but that’s not what I want. I’m not going to sit around and worry about you while you’re off saving the world. I want to save it too.”

He started to reply but was cut off when Madam Pomfrey came through the curtain.

“Mr. Potter! What are you doing here? Miss Evans is supposed to be resting. She’s very sick!”

“She looks much better to me Poppy.”

Albus Dumbledore stood in the doorway.

The only person who James wanted to face less than an angry Madam Pomfrey was Dumbledore. Nothing had been said about the fact that they had walked out of school in the middle of a crisis, broken a million school rules, and almost gotten themselves killed. They had been patched up and then hurried off to bed, Lily was the only one who had required any real medical attention. James had assumed that when she was recovered was when the axe would fall, and now she was. He was sure they were going to be expelled. What would his parents say? He had managed to push this aside when he was so worried about Lily, but now it was suddenly very real.

“Headmaster, I must insist…” Madam Pomfrey began, but Dumbledore raised a hand and silenced her.

“Poppy, Miss Evans looks much better to me, I think she’s out of danger, and it is very important I talk to her. And since Mr. Potter is here, he may as well stay.”

She gave a little sniff and a disapproving look, but then went into another room off the hospital wing and closed the door. Dumbledore conjured a chair out of nowhere and sat down slowly, indicating that James should do the same.

“I suppose you realize how serious this is.” He said gravely. “You snuck out of school when you had been told to remain in the Great Hall. I will pretend I do not know how you found out about the attack on Hogsmeade…” his eyes strayed to the invisibility cloak on the table. “But you put yourselves in a great deal of danger. You were reckless.” He paused to let them consider this and James waited for the final blow to fall, but then it didn’t. Instead, the Headmaster’s voice softened. “But you’re not in trouble. I’m certainly not going to punish you. I doubt you want to spend you last weeks at school in detention.”

They stared. He smiled at their shock.

“You saved innocent lives. That is worth far more than something as silly as sneaking out of school. You’re young. And while that can be frustrating to those of us with a bit more life experience, it’s hardly a punishable offense. Young people always go rushing into a fight. Reckless idealism is wonderful, but it’s dangerous.” He paused, but James felt again, though he was just sitting quietly, the power that Dumbledore was capable of. “It might surprise both of you to know how closely I have watched you over the years you’ve been at this school. I know your potential. I know you are both strong. You have nothing to prove, you’ve earned your right to be a part of this fight. But I will ask this of you. You have only a few weeks left at Hogwarts. Live them. You’re only young once, and it goes so quickly. For a few weeks, forget about the rest of the world and just have fun.” He winked at them, and then rose slowly. “Lily, I think by this evening you will be able to go back to your common room, but in the meantime I think we’d better appease Madam Pomfrey. And I happen to know as well that Mr. Potter has not slept in over twenty-four hours. I think some rest is in order for both of you.”

When Lily got back to the common room that night, Flora and Alice descended on her, crying, while James and Sirius looked at each other, mystified that they cried now that Lily was fine.

They all stayed up late that night, not really intentionally, but simply because they had realized how little time they actually had left at Hogwarts, how little time they had left in a world that was so much more simple than what they would find when they left school. They had gotten a taste of it the night before in Hogsmeade, and even though they seemed exactly the same, and looked the same, something had changed.

Lily sat tucked in James’s arms, feeling quiet, but content. She had seen another side of him the night before and she was still coming to terms with it. She had not seen the Quidditch-obsessed prankster she thought of her boyfriend as, but the steely determination of a man who took seriously a responsibility he felt to the wizarding world. In a way that scared her, she wasn’t sure that she knew that James, but then it was also reassuring. She knew he was going to keep trying to protect her, that argument was not over, but she also knew they had faced Voldemort once, and lived. It wasn’t impossible, they would be all right.

37. Flying and Falling

Good Morning!  I am tired and this chapter is fluffy.  Have a good day!

Chapter 37- Flying and Falling

“I suppose you’re just taking that broom for a walk James? Before you actually focus and do some studying?”

James looked guilty as Lily’s voice cut across the common room. She had been hidden by the back of the chair she was sitting in and he had hoped he was going to sneak out without being seen. NEWTS were still weeks away after all, but from the way Lily was acting you’d think they were tomorrow. He wanted to do well on his NEWTS as well, he had to if he wanted to be an Auror, but studying every single moment wasn’t the way to go about it. After all, it was good to relax a bit too or he’d just go crazy. And that was what he was planning as he set out to the Quidditch pitch with Sirius and Remus and Peter.

“Um, yeah, I’ll be back in a few minutes…” He muttered, dodging out the portrait hole.

“Potter, as your friend, I think I should mention something.” Sirius said gravely. “You are so completely whipped.”

“The sad thing is, I think he knows that and doesn’t even mind.” Peter agreed.

And James decided he didn’t.

They spent a good hour on the Quidditch pitch, just tossing around the quaffle. There had been a time when James had been disappointed that none of his friends were on the team with him, but Sirius didn’t have the attention span or discipline for the daily practices, Remus would have been conspicuously absent from practices too often, and Peter probably wouldn’t have made it through the try-outs. All three of them were pretty decent flyers if you were just out to have fun.

It was just getting dark when he spotted the bright red hair of his girlfriend, who was standing at the edge of the pitch, shading her eyed against the setting sun.

“Oy, Lily, think fast!” Sirius cried, and threw the quaffle in her direction. James was ready to knock him off his broom for it, but Lily caught the ball easily.

“I came to tell you all that it’s dinner time.” She said mildly.

“Brilliant, I’m starving.”

While all of his friends hopped off their brooms and headed in the direction of the castle, James remained hovering a few feet above Lily. Something had just occurred to him, when she caught the quaffle.

“James, are you coming?”

“You know Lily, I’ve never seen you fly.”

“Of course you have. In first year, we all learned.”

He frowned. That was true, of course, but he couldn’t for the life of him bring up a picture of an eleven-year-old Lily on a broom. At the time, he had probably only been interested in showing off and showing up all the other boys, he wouldn’t have had the time or inclination to pay any attention to a girl.

He knew she liked Quidditch. Perhaps not quite as much as he liked Quidditch, but she was enthusiastic about watching all the school games.

“All right, first year. But I’ve never seen you fly since then.” He insisted.

“Well, why would you?” She shrugged. “Come on, aren’t you hungry?”

She seemed to be a little too anxious to change the subject. He stayed a few feet above her, frowning at her thoughtfully.

“Lily, are you afraid of heights?”

“Don’t be ridiculous!”

He grinned, she said that way too quickly and sounded way too panicked.

“You are!”

“James!” She put her hands on her hips. “Stop being silly, come on!”

He came down to where she stood and held out a hand.

“One circle around the pitch and we’ll go in.”

“No way Potter, forget it, I’ve seen how you fly that broom, you’re insane.”

“I’ll go slowly, and straight, I promise!”

“I don’t like flying.”

“Because you’re afraid of it. Come on. You won’t fall. I Promise.”

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust James, it was that she didn’t trust flying broomsticks. She had come to accept that magical world. She had come to accept people disappearing one place and reappearing instantly in another. She had come to accept birds turning into water glasses and people turning into animals. She was even a Quidditch fan, but somehow flying on broomsticks seemed too much like a muggle cliché. Besides, though she would never admit it, she was a little scared of heights.

It was pretty obvious James was not going to give up on this idea.

“Just once around the pitch. And you’ll go slow? And straight?”

He nodded seriously.

Reluctantly, she climbed onto the broom and wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling slightly sick.

True to his word, he started out slowly, and she actually cracked open one of her tightly closed eyes. This isn’t so bad.

Then they began to pick up a little speed, and she pressed her face into his shoulder. “Uh…James? Slow down.”

He said something in response, but she could barely hear him over the rushing air, they were going quite fast now.

“What?”

“I said trust me Lily.” He yelled back, and then took a sudden turn upwards, taking them higher, away from the stands and the quidditch pitch. Lily gave a shriek and tightened her grip around his waist.

“James!”

“Oh, we’re not that high!”

They continued to climb, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

“Lil, open your eyes! Look how pretty it is!”

Reluctantly, knowing he wouldn’t go down until she did, she cracked open one eye, only to press it shut again when she saw they were on a level with wispy clouds. Taking a deep, shaky breath, she tried again. They were high above Hogwart’s grounds, the Quidditch pitch was visible as an expanse of green, and from so high the waves on the lake were invisible and it was flat and silver and shining in the fading light. The castle looked like one of the hazy fairy tale castles one saw in muggle fairy tale books, its flags snapping in the breeze. It was, as James said, beautiful. Lily took a sharp breath, and felt a vibration as James chuckled, understanding her reaction. Both of her eyes were open now, and strangely, she didn’t feel sick. Really, the broom was much more comfortable than it looked, and much more comfortable than she remembered from first year, and James was comfortingly solid. They were so high that it was surreal, like being in an airplane, so that it hardly felt real enough to be scary. The ground was indistinct and distant. She felt surprisingly light, and…free. She wondered if this was why James loved flying so much. She never would have believed it, but she was almost sorry as they came back down. When she stumbles off the back of his broom, she was grinning.

“That was brilliant! Can we do it again? Can I steer?”

“I thought you wanted dinner. I do, I’m starving.”

“But-“

“Lily, I’ll teach you to fly if you want, but seriously…dinner!”

“I would like some lessons, but I liked flying with you.”

He grinned, then tugged her hand. “Dinner?”

Lily sighed. “Men.”

###

Sirius was bored. Not that it was such an unusual occurrence, but usually he could convince James to help him entertain himself. But James, and all the other Gryffindor Seventh Years, were studying for NEWTS. Sirius figured he had done just fine on his OWLS without studying, and didn't see why this should be any different. The Gryffindor Fifth Years in the Common Room were having anxiety attacks of their own, and finally, there was just too much stress around him. Sirius ventured outside for amusement. It was only about half-past seven, not yet entirely dark, and the perfect temperature.

He wasn't the only one who had that idea. Vaguely aware that there was something a little creepy and stalker-like about it, he followed her anyway, from a safe distance. Halfway around the lake, she took a seat beneath a large tree.

Resolutely, he joined her, feeling some of the residual anger from their last encounter on seeing her.

"I thought I asked you to leave me alone."

"I'm fine, thanks for asking. Why yes, it is a lovely evening. And how are you?" When she ignored this, he sighed. "You did ask me to leave you alone, but you never gave me a reason."

"The only reason you're harassing me is because your best friend has gotten himself a girlfriend and you're feeling bored, or abandoned, or whatever. And that's not a good enough reason for me to waste my time."

He was taken aback. There were several things to say to this, but the first one that came out was "How do you know who my best friend is and how would you have any clue about his love life?"

She waved a hand impatiently. "James Potter and Lily Evans are the Head Boy and Girl, I'm not completely oblivious to their existence."

"Oh." He frowned. "Well, you're wrong. I'm happy for James, I really like Lily, and they're great for each other."

"She's very pretty."

"Who, Lily?"

"No Professor McGonagall." She snapped back. "Of course Evans, who were we talking about?"

"So we're talking again?"

She frowned. "No. I don't want to be friends with you Black."

"You still haven't given me a decent reason."

She didn't look at him, but pulled absently at the grass. "You make me uncomfortable."

He had no idea what to say to that. "Why? I'm an easygoing guy."

She shook her head. "No, you're not, no matter how hard you try to pass yourself off as one."

He really had no idea what she meant by that, but it didn't seem he was going to find out, because she stood and brushed grass off her skirt. "Didn't it occur to you I might have wanted to be alone?"

Irritated, he stood as well. "Well, life's tough, we don't always get what we want."

She narrowed her eyes. "And what do you want from me?"

Sirius wasn't even sure if he was trying to shut her up, make her more angry, or demonstrate an answer to the question she had just asked, but he did something stupid.

He kissed her.

Sirius was used to being in control in these situations, but this time he felt like he was losing control, like he was falling. But in some corner of his mind, he registered that she kissed him back, before she suddenly pushed away from him. For a split second he was sure she was going to slap him, but then she just took several steps back, looking horrified.

"Why..... Leave me alone, I can't do this..."

She turned and ran back in the direction of the castle.

###

“Flora?”

She was sitting on the couch in the common room, books all around, but she was frowning hard, as if she was thinking, and she didn’t hear Remus the first time he said her name.

“Flora.” He waved his charms book under her nose. “Can you quiz me on these incantations? I always get them mixed up.”

Actually, he rarely got them mixed up, but you could never be too careful when it came to exams.

She smiled vaguely at him. “Sure.” But the book remained unopened in her lap. “Graduation is coming up pretty soon.”

He nodded. “But we still have some things left.” He added a gentle hint. “Like exams.”

“Mm.”

He took the space next to her. “Is there, by any chance, something on your mind?”

“What are you planning to do after Hogwarts?”

He sighed. He had been trying not to think about it too much, though it was hard to avoid with all the Seventh Years thinking about it. James was going to be an Auror, and Sirius was planning on going the same way, though Remus suspected that had something to do with sticking it to his family as much as protecting the wizarding public. Lily was going to the Ministry in London, and even Peter was talking about getting a job at the Ministry or somewhere in Diagon Alley. Remus knew that with his excellent grades and test scores it would be no trouble for him to get a job, but he knew it would be hard to keep a job when his employer guessed what his cyclical “illnesses” meant. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure it out.

“I’d like to do some kind of research.” He admitted thoughtfully. “You know, for the Ministry or something. But I don’t reckon I’ll last too long once they figure out. Well, it’s going to be hard.”

“That’s so stupid.”

He shrugged. “I have to be realistic.” He put an arm around her shoulder. “Why all of a sudden asking? Are you worried about it?”

She sighed. “I have to tell you something.”

That didn’t sound good. When someone announced they had to tell you something rather than just coming out and telling you, it was always bad.

“I applied to Ministry things too, like Lily.  I’d kind of like to study medicine.” She said quietly. “My grades aren’t as good as hers I know, but both of my parents are so smart, and my sister, so it’s sort of like I have to. I know I’m not as smart as them, but…”

He hated when she did that, she was perfectly smart, and he had told her so a million times.

“…But I actually got into one of the programmes, and my Mum…”

“Flora that’s great! Why didn’t you tell-“

“It’s in America.”

“Oh.”

It was true that he had not given much thought to what would happen after graduation, but he had unconsciously assumed she would be around. Studying meant three or four years that she would be gone. She could visit, and come back for holidays, but it seemed like those sort of long-distance relationships never worked.

“It was stupid to even apply there, I don’t know why I did. I’m not going to go.” She announced vehemently.

He wanted to agree with that, so say that of course she shouldn’t go, she should stay right here in England, but he couldn’t do it in good conscience.

“Don’t just dismiss it. It’s a really good opportunity.”

She turned on him suddenly. “Do you want me to leave?”

Remus shook his head, wondering how he had gone wrong.

“Of course not. But I want what’s best for you, not me. And maybe what’s best for you is taking an opportunity for higher education. I don’t want you to give that up for me.”

Suddenly he wondered if he had overstepped. What if she wasn’t even thinking about him? What if she didn’t want to leave her family? Or her friends? What if her reluctance had nothing to do with him?

“What if I want to give it up for you?” She snapped.

He forced himself to take his arm back. “You’re not thinking about this logically-“

“You can’t always be logical!”

“When you’re planning your future you have to be!” He insisted. “You shouldn’t give anything up for me. Don’t invest too much in this Flora. You could meet someone else who’s-“

Her look stopped him. “I’m going to go upstairs now, because I really don’t want to talk to you just now. You really need to get over this goddamn martyr complex you’ve got.”

38. N.E.W.T.S

Bit late today, had a busy morning at work.

Chapter 38- N.E.W.T.S.

"Marigold petals."

"No way."

James nodded, face partially hidden by his potions books. "Marigold petals will counteract the active ingredients in certain agility potions."

"You're making that up!"

"Seriously Lily, why would I?"

She snatched the book from him, muttering to herself as she flipped through the pages. James watched and considered the completely unbelievable fact that he was alone, with his girlfriend, in his room, and they were studying. Not "studying" with a wink and a nudge, but actually studying, with books and parchment and quills. He hoped none of his friends came in; his reputation would be shot forever. Lily was way too wound up about N.E.W.T.S to even consider focusing on anything else.

"You're right!" She gasped, as she found the page he had been looking at.

"Well, try not to sound so surprised."

"Oh Noooo." She moaned and pushed the book away. "I'm going to fail! FAIL!"

"Don't be silly, of course you won't-"

"I'm going to fail and no one will hire me and I won't get a job and I'll have to live with my parents forever, and when they die I'll STARVE!"

Okay, she was definitely hysterical.

"You can live with me, and then you won't starve." He suggested, without really thinking.

"You think I'm going to fail too!"

Way to go Potter.

"No! No, I don't Lil. Of course you won't fail, you'll get all outstanding marks, I'm sure of it! You're the smartest in our year!"

“You really think so?”

“Of course! And it’s not just that I think so, it’s completely true! Everyone knows it. Why else would you be Head Girl? In fact, I think the book might be wrong.”

She shook her head and rubbed her hands over her face. “No, it’s not. I think I’m going crazy.”

He rubbed her shoulders. “You’re not, you’re just nervous about exams. That’s okay.”

“Yeah…” She sighed and he hoped she might finally relax a bit, but then she reached for the book again. “We should review antidotes.”

…………………………………………………………….

The first day of exams for the Seventh Years was also the first day the Fifth Years had their O.W.L.S, so breakfast was unusually quiet. The younger students, who had learned over the past few weeks in a flurry of lost points not to disturb those who had exams, ate quickly and retreated to their classes or common rooms.

Lily propped her book up on the table in front of her, although the logical part of her mind admitted that if she didn’t know it now, she wasn’t going to. Charms was their first exam, and she was glad, it was her best.

They lingered a bit longer than usual at breakfast, until finally McGonagall shooed them out. They milled around nervously, checking and re-checking their books, until the Great Hall doors opened again and the usual table had been replaced with desks for each person. When they were all seated, Professor McGonagall waved her wand and parchment appeared on everyone’s desk. Lily paused long enough to look around at James, who gave her an encouraging smile, and then picked up her quill.

………………………………………………………………

Remus felt like the first day of exams had been all right, but he had to admit he’d been distracted all day. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was distraction him either, he and Flora still had nor made up after their argument about her going to America. N.E.W.T.S had been upon them, everyone was caught up in studying, and there just hadn’t been the time to have the kind of conversation that they needed to. He realized now that he needed to talk to her now. They had potions the next day, and he knew that was going to be harder, he would need to concentrate. After dinner, everyone else settled in the common room again to study, while the younger students made themselves scarce. Remus was looking at his potions book, not really seeing it all that much.

Eventually he thought he’s have better luck studying his notes, and went up to get them. He was coming out of their room when he ran full into his girlfriend.

“I couldn’t remember the incantation for a Protean Charm.” She announced without preamble.

“Well, that’s not that bad.” He said, not sure what response she was expecting.

“No, but I knew it. I just couldn’t concentrate as well as I should be. I can’t concentrate when we’re fighting.”

He sighed, and waited while a whispering group of third years passed them on the stairs, and then drew her back up into their room.

“Look. I didn’t phrase what I wanted to say very well the other day, but I’m going to stand by it. Let me try again.” She frowned, but nodded. “I don’t want you to go to America. To tell you the truth, I don’t really want any of us to leave Hogwarts, but that’s not really up to me. I don’t want you to leave, but I do want you to be able to do whatever you want to do, to live up to your potential, and going will certainly give you more options.”

“But there are lots of things I can do if I stay in England too.” She insisted.

He wanted to agree with her, agree that she should stay in England, it wasn’t as though she needed to work all that much anyway, her parents were quite well-off. But he was immediately irritated with himself for even thinking that way.

“Listen, I’m going to suggest a compromise. You go-“ She opened her mouth to protest but he put his hand over it to stop her. “-and you can still come home every holiday and I can come see you too. I’ve never been to America so that will be brilliant.” He was trying to convince himself as much as her. “And do it for a year. And if you don’t like it, and you’re not enjoying it, and you still want to be in England, then come home. That way, you’re giving it a chance, but you’re not committing to three or four years.” Finished, he cautiously took his hand away from her mouth.

“Just a year?” She repeated.

“Well, yeah, if you don’t like it. But you might like it.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “And why do you want me to go?”

“Because it’s a good opportunity for you and you’ll learn a lot.”

“And it has nothing to do with…?”

“Me or werewolves or you meeting someone else.”

She smiled, and then hopped up and threw her arms around his neck. “You’re a fast learner, for a boy. I’ll think about it.”

……………………………………………………

The next morning they had their potions exam, which James was pretty sure that he did all right on, or at least got a passing grade, but in the afternoon they had Defense Against the Dark Arts and he was positive he got a perfect “outstanding” in the practical bit and felt confident about his answers on the written exam too.

He actually almost enjoyed the Transfiguration practical exam the next day, since the old wizard examining him seemed actually impressed with how smoothly and completely he did everything he was told. He was in the exam at the same time as Peter who did not fare so well. He was meant to be changing the chair into a dog, but his dog appeared to be made out of wood, and went he went to turn it back, the chair ended up with a coat of fur.

Lily was upset that she had accidentally left the tail off when she conjured her cat, bit she had kept her head and added the tail quickly, so she guessed she would get most of the points. Sirius announced smugly that he had not only turned his chair into a perfect dog, but then made the dog do tricks.

They had a reprieve that afternoon before Arithmancy (or in the girls’ and Peter’s case, Herbology) the next morning. Though he knew he could get in some studying for Arithmancy, James couldn’t help but let his mind drift to the fact that the next day by this time, they would be effectively done with his education at Hogwarts.

………………………………………………………

Sirius was feeling pretty pleased with himself. With a minimum of studying, he was sure he’d done just fine on his N.E.W.T.S. While everyone else had been falling apart he’d just watched them with a kind of detached amusement. Out in the real world, it wasn’t as though exams mattered much either. He was looking forward to the excellent parties he was sure would accompany graduation. As for what would come after graduation, it seemed a good plan to go into Auror training with James. It was certainly the most interesting job he could think about. He knew he didn’t want to end up behind a desk pushing paper, that was certain enough.

With only one exam left, he was feeling pretty relaxed when he came out of his transfiguration practical. Until he heard a voice behind him.

“Sirius?”

He turned. Arianna was leaning against the doorjamb of the Charms classroom, and for a moment he didn’t think it could have been her speaking, because he was absolutely certain she had never actually called him by his given name. Still, there was no one else there, so it must have been her. He raised an eyebrow coolly even as he felt his stomach freeze. She had to be furious, he was actually surprised he hadn’t been hexed yet.

“Can I speak to you?”

The last time she had wanted to speak to him, she had tried to strangle him with his own robes, so he had to wonder about this change in tactic. He nodded, and followed her down a deserted corridor, until they came to a small alcove.

“What exactly are you doing?” she asked in an even voice.

“Well, I just finished my Transfiguration exam, and I was going back to the common room and-“

She cut him off with an impatient sound. “You know what I mean. Are you trying to win some kind of bet? Some sort of joke? Is this some kind of sick challenge you’ve set yourself?”

“None of those things.” He cut her off before she could come up with any more twisted ideas for his motivation. “You’re making this hugely complicated and it’s not. I don’t know what you’re asking. Why I talk to you? Or why I kissed you? It’s the same reason: I wanted to.”

Whatever she had been expecting, it was not that. He spent a moment enjoying the fact that he had actually made her speechless, even for just a moment.

“You can’t just go around doing that!” She finally insisted, seeming frustrated.

“Really? Because until you freaked out you didn’t seem to mind.”

“That’s really not the point.” She tried a businesslike tone.

“And what is the point Miss Malfoy? Explain it to me.” He said, with exaggerated patience. It really was a small alcove, and he took a step nearer, rather enjoying how that disconcerted her.

“I just…” She trailed off.

“Don’t over-think it Arianna.”

She drew her eyebrows together in a bit of a frown, and he thought she was going to walk away again, so she took his breath away when she grabbed the front if his shirt and kissed him.

…………………………………………………………..

39. Celebration

Only one chapter left.  Are you excited?  I am.  As anyone who has written a long fanfic knows, it is exhausting.  Since I had already finished this one, I can’t complain much, but back when I was posting it the first time, I was soooooo glad to see the end of it.  Just so you’re prepared, all of the loose ends aren’t going to tie up…life is not that simple and tidy.

Chapter 39- Celebration

The Great Hall was silent except for the scratching of quills and the occasional scrape of a chair against the floor as someone shifted in their seat. Such quiet was unusual at Hogwarts and so Minerva McGonagall was enjoying while it lasted. She glanced at her watch- thirty minutes left in the exam period that was the last one for most of the Seventh Years. Looking around at the students, with their heads bent over their parchments, she felt a quiet pride. They were well prepared, as well as any school could make them, for starting their real lives. A few might end up in Azkaban, that was true, but most of them would go on to be productive members of society, a few might even be great. She smiled, she was particularly fond of this group of Seventh Years, especially at times like this when they were well-behaved and quiet and-

The silence of the room was shattered by a whoop, and James Potter slapped down his quill and leapt up, raising his arms in victory as though he had just made a goal in Quidditch. "I am.....totally finished with school!"

Black had clearly been waiting for just such an opening, he jumped up as well and there was a flurry of high-fiving and other patently male congratulatory gestures.

"Black! Potter! Be quiet and sit down this instant or I will-"

"Give us a detention?"

"Take away points?"

"Come on, you wouldn't do that today! It's a time for celebration!"

"Soon we'll be out of your hair forever!"

"And then won't you miss us!"

She leveled a glare at them. "Sit down, and be quiet, until the exam is over."

They did, but it was with much grinning, and she had to admit, she might miss this group.

……………………………..

They were finally done with NEWTS, and finally Lily could relax. She thought she'd done pretty well on her exams, but she was done worrying about it and just wanted to enjoy the last few days of school leading up to graduation.

Every year, on the night after exams finished, Seventh Years from Hogwarts had something of a party at the Three Broomsticks. It was a long-standing tradition- the students would make a big show of pretending to sneak out of school, the teachers would look the other way and pretend not to notice, and Madam Rosmerta would pretend they were all of legal age. It was something Lily had heard about for years, and now she was really quite excited about it. She hadn't actually been to a party in ages, and now that she didn't have exams hanging over her it would be all that much more fun.

They were dressing up a little bit for the party. Not dress robes, but just something a little more interesting than school uniforms. Lily was aware she had been neglecting James lately, she had not exactly been the best girlfriend, and she fully intended to make it up to him.

………………………………

James looked in the mirror. "Wow, I look good."

"Would you like the rest of us to leave you alone with your reflection for awhile Prongs?"

"Nah, I don't want to deny you guys the pleasure of looking at me, when I look this good."

Unfortunately, the only response this got was eye-rolling.

"Padfoot, you're awfully subdued for a man who's about to consuming unlimited quantities of alcohol."

"Just because I'm not fainting over how incredibly dreamy you look does not make me subdued James." He replied dryly, adjusting the cuffs of his robes. "And as far as consuming unlimited quantities of alcohol, don't be surprised if I leave a bit early."

Peter looked disbelieving. "Sirius Black leaving a party early?"

"I'm not so much leaving a party as finding my own." He muttered, almost inaudibly.

"In Slytherin? That girl is-" Peter's voice was just a touch higher than usual. Sirius rounded to face him with surprising speed.

"You know, if I feel I need your commentary, I'll ask."

There was an awkward silence. Sirius was frequently annoyed with Peter, but very rarely did he show any real anger. James stepped in, more to keep the peace than anything.

"Look, Mate, in his own very tactless way Wormtail is just saying that he's trying to look out for you. Maybe she really is great, but she's a Slytherin, and when all is said and done, you don't really know all that much about her."

"The world isn't divided into good people and Slytherins James."

"I never said it's that simple. I'm just saying be careful."

"We should go, the girls will be waiting." Remus broke in quietly.

“Right.” Sirius walked out without another word to them.

…………………………………

“I can’t believe school is over.” Lily said, not for the first time that evening. The Three Broomsticks was full of Hogwarts Seventh Years, all houses, in varying levels of sobriety. Some had obviously had a head start on their drinking.

Glancing around the room, he spotted Sirius chatting amiably enough with Gideon Prewett, and realized he really wasn’t going to enjoy the evening unless he knew that they were okay. He stood, and kissed the top of Lily’s head. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

She looked a little perplexed, but nodded, and he wandered over to where Sirius was sitting, and passed him a butterbeer.

“Thanks.”

“Sure thing.” James pulled a chair over and studied his best friend for a moment. “Are we okay?”

Sirius set down his butterbeer, and then nodded. “Sure Prongs, we’re fine.”

“Really?”

“Sure.”

“Is it…I mean, are you serious about this girl?”

Sirius shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe not. But I’m actually willing to take the time to find out, and that’s new in itself.”

“So you really like her?”

“I…she really interests me.”

“That’s all I need to know.”

“Thanks Mate.” Sirius gestured back to Lily. “Now really James, you should know better than to keep a beautiful woman waiting.”

…………………………………….

Lily wasn’t sure what was going on with James and his friends, but it was so rare that they fought that she didn’t mind when he left her for a moment to talk to Sirius. In typical male fashion, they only said a few words, and somehow solved everything. She was watching this, mildly amused and definitely mystified, when a deep voice spoke behind her.

“Excuse me Miss Evans, I couldn’t help but recognize the red hair, I was wondering if you might be able to direct me to my girlfriend.”

She turned, and her mouth fell open at the good-looking young man standing behind her.

“Frank!” She clasped a hand over her mouth. “Alice didn’t know you’re coming.”

“Nah, I thought I’d surprise her.”

“She’s going to die!”

“Well, not quite die I hope.” He smiled.

At that moment Alice was making her way back from the bar, and Lily waited breathlessly for her reaction, but she didn’t even see him, just collapsed in the chair next to Lily.

“Honestly, you should never let Hufflepuffs drink…

Frank cleared his throat, she still didn’t turn.

“I mean, they really just get out of control…”

He cleared his throat again, gave a loud false cough. She whipped around.

“Excuse me, we were trying to have a conver-“ Her indignant voice dropped to something like a squeak. Then with a scream and accidentally kicking over her chair, she threw her arms around him. Lily thought this was one of the most romantic scenes she had ever seen. She felt a hand on her arm and smiled up at James.

“Come on, let’s go dance and leave them alone.”

…………………………………

"Can't believe this year is almost over." Lily remarked. They were not dancing so much as just sort of swaying while locked together, but James had no complaints and Lily didn't seem to mind either. Besides, compared to many of the increasingly inebriated couples in the pub, they were positively chaste.

"You've said that like eight times tonight." he pointed out.

"I know, but so much has changed this year."

"I'll say. At the beginning of the year you wouldn't even talk to me."

"You must admit, your behavior was appalling."

"And it's better now?"

"No, I'm just willing to overlook it because you're rich." James chuckled as she drew back for a moment. "Do you want to get out of here?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you?"

"Well, everyone who's still here..." She gestured around and noted that a lot of people had cleared out already. "...is just going to get increasingly drunk. So unless you're inclined to start shooting firewhiskey and passing out on the floor, we could find other things to do. I doubt anyone will expect us back tonight anyway."

It wasn't Lily's fault that to James's eighteen-year-old male mind that sounded quite suggestive.

“Oh…okay.”

“Where shall we go?”

“I’ve got an idea. Come on.”

……………………………………

It did occur to Sirius that he could have thought ahead, invited her out, and avoided this whole situation, but where was the fun in that? He was not one to back down from a challenge, even if that challenge involved sneaking into the Slytherin dorm to get a certain young lady. He only hoped she would be in the common room, since it was entirely possible the girls’ dormitories in Slytherin were like those in Gryffindor, designed to keep boys out.

He didn’t have to wait around too long under James’s cloak before two Fifth Years came along, talking loudly about their OWLS, and keeping enough distance to avoid bumping into them, Sirius slipped in behind them.

His first thought was that is was a pretty depressing common room, but he brightened when he saw her half reclining on one of the couches, watching her blond friend and another boy play chess, occasionally pointing out moves. Sirius had to admit he was a little disappointed- it seemed that Slytherins spent their free time much the same as anyone else. He had expected to find them blatantly practicing dark magic or sacrificing cuddly animals or something.

He slipped around behind the couch, and took a deep breath, hoping she wouldn’t scream, but a hand on her shoulder. She jumped, and whipped around suddenly, but when there was no one there understanding flashed in her eyes. She was still for a moment, and then stood and stretched.

“I’m going to get something to eat.”

The blond girl glanced up. “It’s past curfew.”

She smirked as she headed for the door. “Like I care.”

It was almost too easy, Sirius thought, as he followed her out.

“Are you insane?” She hissed.

“You’re not the first one to suggest that.”

“Would you please take that off? I don’t like talking to nothing.” She was glaring fiercely about a foot to his left. He obliged, and she turned her glare to him. “You’re going to get me in trouble.”

Rather than arguing with her, he kissed her. Right there, in the corridor, not caring if everyone in Slytherin happened to come out of their common room. When he released her, she still looked pissed off, but she was working hard at it.

“So why aren’t you getting pass-out drunk with your friends?”

“I was. But since it looked like your evening was going to consist of watching two fairly bad chess players, I really think you should be thanking me. You should say “thank you Sirius, for rescuing me from my boring evening.” That’s what a nice girl would say.”

“Have I ever given you the impression I was a nice girl?”

“I wouldn’t be here if you were.”

……………………………………..

About halfway up the mountain outside Hogsmeade, there was a lovely place to sit that looked over the entire village and had a stunning view of the sky and the surrounding countryside. It was a nice place to sit if you wanted to stargaze. Or if you wanted a private place to take your girlfriend. Lily didn’t need two guesses to guess which purpose James had in mind. Not that she minded that in the least, but subtle he was not. She had to be impressed with his knowledge of the area around Hogwarts, even knowing that that knowledge had been acquired by breaking any number of school rules, and probably a good many Ministry laws once a month.

“Should I tell your future from the stars?” James asked conversationally.

She smiled. “Aren’t you the one who said divination was crap?”

“That’s was the Hogwarts version. I’m talking about the James Potter method of divination.”

“By all means then.”

The threaded his fingers through her hair, and pretended to study the stars for a moment.

“You’re going to be great Lily. You’re going to be a legend. Immortal.”

She looked up at him, and saw he was only half kidding, but that he really believed in her that much. She rose up to kiss him. “You’re very sweet James.”

“Yes, yes I am, aren’t I?”

“Did you have to ruin the moment by complimenting yourself?”

“Sorry. Feel free to resume the moment.”  He went on with his fortune telling.  “I’m going to be Minister of Magic of course.  And you can stay home and cook my dinner, and wear cute little…ow!”  He rubbed his arm where she had just punched him.  “Okay, you can be Minister of Magic.”  He sighed and gave her a little sidelong glance.  “I love you.”

She smiled.  “Well, how could you help it?”

……………………………………….

“Sirius, what are we doing?”

He thought that was rather obvious. “Er…if I have to explain that to you…ow!”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

He wished that was what she’d meant, since snogging was a lot easier to discuss than whatever was going on between the two of them. He had told her not to over think it, but the truth was he had been over thinking it as well. He was out of school, an adult, and more or less free to do as he liked. But she was still in school, still under her father’s thumb as far as he could tell. And even if she wasn’t, she wasn’t going to walk away from her family.

He sighed and pulled away, looking her in the eye, although he made no attempt to withdraw his hands. “What exactly are you asking?”

“Are you just trying to get back at your family?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Are you just trying to give your father a stroke? It’s true that at this point you’ve got more to lose, but that doesn’t mean I’m just playing games with you.”

She looked at him, and for once she wasn’t just smirking, there was no amusement in her eyes. “It would almost be easier if you were.”

“I know.”

40. Endings and New Beginnings

Ye olde chapter of extreme clichedness!  Maybe I liked the idea, maybe I just got lazy and couldn’t think of anything original, but I ended this chapter with a super-cliché.

Now, the question of a sequel.  This is a hard question, and the short answer is, not now.  At the moment I’m having job stress, taking a writing class, and doing Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month: 50,000 words in one month) in November.  I started a sort-of sequel, but I doubt this crowd would like it because it is set in the last year of James and Lily’s life, and it’s going to get pretty dark and depressing, and there are only 4 chapters done and I don’t see myself doing any more soon (because of the busy).  But, if you want to read it, you can read those 4 chapters at fanfiction-dot-net, where I am also MetroDweller.  It’s called “Rising Darkness”.  I may post it here if I ever finish it, but that seems unlikely now.  Also on that account, which I can’t post here because of the ship restrictions, is the first chapter of a story about Sirius and Arianna, who I see having a long but dysfunctional relationship, called “Divided Loyalties”. 

That’s all for me.  Thanks for all the wonderful and lovely feedback, it’s great to know what people think!

Chapter 40- The End and New Beginnings

7 years ago:

James was getting a little worried. His entire life, for as long as he could remember, he’d been looking forward to going to Hogwarts, but so far he hadn’t found anyone to sit with on the train. He knew he couldn’t sit with any of the older kids, he knew that just wasn’t done. Finally, near the end of the train, he came to a compartment that was almost empty. Just one boy sat in it, alone, and he looked like he might be a first year too. He didn’t look very friendly, his arms were crossed over his chest and he was staring moodily out the window from under longish straight black hair. Still, James didn’t want to go on standing in the hall.

“D’you mind if I sit here?”

The boy barely glanced at him, but then lifted one shoulder in a sulky kind of half-shrug. James dragged his trunk in and let it fall to the floor with a thud, and then studied his companion for a moment. The boy didn’t even glance at him, but James figured maybe he was just shy, so he stuck out his hand.

“I’m James Potter.”

The boy narrowed his eyes, stared at James’s hand, looked him up and down appraisingly, and then seemed to come to some sort of decision. He took the offered hand.

“Sirius Black.”

That accomplished, James took the seat across from his new acquaintance. Feeling slightly awkward and unsure of what to say, he fell back on a subject of interest to eleven-year-old boys everywhere.

“D’you like Quidditch?”

Sirius’s face brightened considerably. “Yeah! What’s your team?”

“Appleby Arrows!”

Sirius made a derisive sound, but James didn’t mind, there was no malice in it. “Mine’s the Holyhead Harpies!”

“I sure wish First Years could be on the house teams! Which-“

“Is it okay if we sit with you? Everywhere else is full.”

The boy in the doorway was definitely a First Year, with brown hair that fell over his forehead and clear brown eyes. He looked delicate, and was a little on the short side, and though he had spoken confidently, he looked nervous, as though afraid they might say no. They exchanged a glance, and decided he was okay.

“Sure, but who’s we?”

The brown-haired boy turned, looking around as though he expected someone else to be there. Then he sighed and said “Oh come on then, they won’t bite.”

Hesitantly a tow-headed boy came through the door, but it was the other boy who spoke up.

“I’m Remus Lupin, this is Peter Pettigrew.”

“I’m-“

“James!”

He was jerked out of his fond memories of their first train ride by a well-aimed shoe sailing across the room and knocking him in the had. It was only natural he should be thinking about their first day now, on their last night at Hogwarts. He threw the shoe back.

“Daydreaming about his precious Lily?” teased Peter.

“Nah, I was just thinking about when we first came here.” He sat up.

“I remember someone pushed me in the lake.” Peter replied, scowling. “I never did find out who that was. I still think it was Snape.”

Sirius was bounding impatiently from one foot to the other. “Come on, enough with the Memory Lane, we have a feast to go to and I’m hungry!”

“All right, all right, let’s go.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

As they waited for the feast to begin, Lily could not help but remember her first day at Hogwarts, which was also the first day she had met James Potter.

As they stepped off the train into the twilight, Lily tried not to stare. The girl she had met on the train was from an all magical family, so a magical train station was nothing new to her. Lily was trying to act just as uninterested.

“What house do you want to be in?” Alice asked her as they hopped off the train. “Do you know the houses?”

Lily nodded. “I read a book about it. I think Ravenclaw and Gryffindor sound like the best. I’d like to be in one of those.”

“I know I’ll be in Gryffindor!” Said a brash voice behind her. They turned and Lily saw a skinny boy with messy hair and glasses.

“Nobody knows what house they’re going to be in until they’re sorted.” She replied, not liking his arrogant tone. She had read that in her book, and as far as Lily was concerned, books were the ultimate authority.

“Well, I know,” he retorted. “Both my Mom and Dad were in Gryffindor, and my Grandad was in Gryffindor. Almost everyone in my family was in Gryffindor.”

Lily was quite sure she did not like this boy. She was about to respond but they were interrupted by a tall and very pretty blond girl who Lily guessed was at least a third year.

“Sirius.” She seemed to be talking not to the boy who had spoken, but to his friend. “Where did you go? Auntie told you to stay with us so you don’t mix with the wrong sort.” Her eyes ran over them disdainfully. “But I see it’s too late for that. Come on. I’m going to tell.” She reached for his arm. He jerked away.

“Leave me alone Narcissa.”

“He has to go on the boats with the other First Years.” Lily announced, proud that she was able to contribute something. But the blond girl gave her a look of pure contempt.

“Don’t tell me what to do Mudblood.”

Lily was not sure what she had been called, but the others all gasped, and the boy with glasses stepped forward. “Don’t call her that!”

The girl flounced away, and they all got on the boats and Lily nearly forgot about the incident, but for years afterwards, even when she hated James Potter because he could be a spoiled, arrogant bully, she remembered that he had stood up for her.

As food appeared on the golden plates she came back to the present and gave her boyfriend a smile. Who would have guessed…

James was looking more than a little smug as the House Cup was announced. She had to give him credit, since the Gryffindor team’s Quidditch victory had gone a long way towards helping them win. She leaned over and kissed his cheek in congratulations while the Gryffindor table cheered loudly and most of the others clapped politely. James seized her and kissed her soundly, to the even louder cheering of the rest of the Seventh Years at the table. They did not begin to quiet down until Dumbledore stood up at the staff table.

“Yes, yes, congratulations to Gryffindor. And so another year is ending. I know you’ve all learned a great deal. For some of you it has been a year of triumphs, for others, a year of tragedy. I will not lie to you all; the wizarding world is facing dark times. None of you can be unaware of the rise of a dark wizard called Lord Voldemort. You have all felt his presence, some more personally than others.” His eyes ranged over the Great Hall, seemingly at random but also picking out many of the students who had lost family already. “I believe that not so far in the future, you will each have to make a choice. For some of you it will be easy, for some of you it will be harder. I believe in each and every one of you to make the right choice, whether or not it is an easy one.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

They all sat around on their beds, suddenly unsure of what to do with themselves.

“So, do we just…go to bed?” Peter asked.

“I don’t think I can sleep. Besides, it’s just graduation. We can sleep through the speeches.”

“Hey, I’m making one of those speeches!” James protested.

“My point exactly.”

"Everything is going to change, isn't it?" Peter asked, suddenly sounding very frightened.

"No." Remus shook his head solemnly. "A lot of things are going to change. We're not going to live together anymore. We're going to have homes, and jobs, and eventually...some sooner than others...families. But one thing won't change. We'll always be friends."

Sirius was shaking his head. "Friends doesn't say it. I have lots of friends. We're brothers, and the kind that go deeper than blood. Forever."

"Forever." James echoed. Close though they were, they were not given to serious conversations, or to showing emotion, but at that moment it no longer mattered. He felt an unexpected lump in his throat.

Sirius cleared his throat nervously. "I know I've never...said this, but I've never thanked you guys...for being there for me. Even after I left home, I've never had to feel like I didn't have a family."

James leaned over a squeezed his shoulder. They weren't going to hug or anything, they were still eighteen-year-old males, but the gesture said the same thing.

"While we're on the subject," Remus spoke quietly, his eyes on the carpet, "I want to thank you guys for being my friends. A lot of people wouldn't...after they found out...and a lot of people wouldn't have done what you have, with the transformations. I mean, becoming animagi…”

“We’re not most people.” Sirius replied. “And friendship goes both ways Mate. I mean, James would still be single without your advice.”

James rolled his eyes, and then grew serious. “We’ll always be friends. At least we can count on that.”

Sirius jumped up. “It’s not like we have to get all weepy about it. Not like we’re girls. Let’s go get something to eat, down to the kitchens one last time?”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

They came back from the kitchens with as much as they could carry, having bid a very weepy crew of house elves good bye for the last time. In the common room they found Lily, Alice, and Flora gathered there, in front of the fire.

“Couldn’t sleep.” Alice explained as they joined them. “And I guess we don’t have to ask where you were.”

“We had to say good bye to the house elves.”

James joined Lily on the couch. “Want an éclair?”

She shook her head, but seemed agreeable enough as he put an arm around her.

“Well, I can tell you one thing. There will never be another school year like this one,” James announced to all of them. “I mean, you’re really never going to be able to find another Head Boy and Girl who are so brilliant, so talented, so incredibly attractive…”

“I do worry about McGonagall though,” Sirius said gravely. “What will she do when there is no one to give her a stroke on a daily basis?”

“Well, since we’re all here, I propose a toast.” Remus produced a bottle of champagne. “Assuming our Head Boy and Girl do not object, that is.”

James snorted, but Lily gave him a regal sort of nod. “I won’t tell the Head Girl Remus.”

He winked at her while Sirius was staring at him in admiration. “How’d you get that?”

“Skills, Padfoot, that you cannot even imagine. There is a reason I’ve spent less time in detention than you.”

James conjured glasses for all of them, and when they all had one, he raised his slightly.

“To our shared past, and to a shared future.”

“To good friends, and fighting the good fight.”

“To remembering the good times, and the best friends.”

“To the victory of the good guys, and a world free from fear.”

“To finding our destiny while remembering where we came from.”

“To the greatest minds of our generation.”

“To new loves, old friends, and happy memories still to be made.”

Lily smiled, raised her glass to touch James’s. “To our own happily ever after.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Sirius knew he had been putting it off, he had to talk to her, rather than simply ignoring the fact that he was leaving. And since it was literally the last few hours before they got on the train, he really couldn't put it off any longer. Their relationship was still more or less secret. Less so on his part, although his friends might look askance at it they would not really mind. Her situation was different, he knew it could cause her very real trouble, so he couldn't very well approach her in the Great Hall.

She met his eyes across the hall, gave the slightest raise of her eyebrows, and then made some excuse to her housemates and walked out. Sirius pushed back his chair.

"I'll be right back. Five minutes."

Peter started to say something, but Sirius never found out what it was because James kicked him hard and said, "Sure Mate, no problem."

She was waiting for him just outside the door, and he took her arm and pulled her out of the plainly visible entryway and down a deserted hallway. Two young Ravenclaws stared at them, but scurried away when he gave them a look.

"You're leaving today."

Normally, he would have made a comment about that blazingly obvious observation, but for once it didn't seem appropriate to joke. He nodded.

"Well, then...is this over?"

"We never even decided what this is." he pointed out.

Her eyebrows drew together in a frown.

"But it doesn't have to be over," he went on, "it will just be harder to keep a secret."

"People will talk."

He shrugged. "I don't care what people think."

"My family-"

"I definitely don't care what your family thinks." he interrupted.

"I care what my family thinks!" she snapped back. "I know you ran away from home and that worked for you and that's what's best for you, but I'm not you and that doesn't work for me. I'm not like you, maybe I'm not that strong or maybe I'm just as bad as they are, but I can't...not for...I just can't have them hate me...I..."

"Okay, okay, Shh." Nothing terrified Sirius more than a crying girl, so he pulled her into a tight embrace. He was slightly surprised when she didn’t resist.

"D'you hate me now?" Her voice was muffled against his chest.

"No, no I don't hate you. It would be simpler if I did. But listen, if you don't want to take on your family, that's fine. We'll just keep it quiet."

"How?"

"You are seriously underestimating my genius. I’ll make it work, if it’s what you want.”

He felt her nod. “It is.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

They stood in the entrance hall, their trunks had already gone, and they were just waiting for the carriages. James was excited; he was looking forward to seeing his parents, looking forward to introducing them to Lily, looking forward to moving into his own place, and looking forward to beginning Auror training, no matter how tough Frank claimed it was. In short, he was looking forward to everything that being an adult entailed. But he was also sad to leave behind Hogwarts, he had grown up here. He had to be sure he was leaving nothing unfinished.

He looked at Lily, though her hand was clasped in his she was talking to Alice about their plans that summer and how glad she was that her sister would no longer be at home. He simply looked at her for a moment, and thought about the years he had known her. In their first year, she had been a bright, sometimes a little too bossy, muggle-born girl. At the time, he’d had little interest in girls, but had been aware of her, even secretly thought she was pretty. In his third year, girls had suddenly become a lot more interesting to him and all his friends, and he had decided he liked her. Unfortunately, she had not felt the same way and he’d spent the better part of four years convincing her he was not the arrogant prat she thought he was. Finally, she had come around, and James had to admit the past few months had been the best months of his life. He could no longer imagine his life without Lily in it, and he didn’t want to try.

There was something that had been floating around James’s head for a few days, and he had not been able to put his finger on what it was. Now he realized something that he could not leave undone at Hogwarts. He knew that he loved Lily, he knew that he was a better man with her, and he knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. They were young, perhaps too young, but the world was uncertain and that, to James, was a reason not to wait.

The carriages pulled up in front of the school and they all started to file out. Lily glanced at him, smiled, and squeezed his hand.

“Ready to go?”

They stepped out onto the steps in front of Hogwarts. It was a beautiful day, crisp, clear, and bright, and James paused for a moment in the doorway, and decided. He pulled her back.

“Lily, wait a moment.”

She stopped, and then turned and gave him a quizzical look. “James? Is everything all right?”

He nodded, took a deep breath, and remembered, despite the fact that he was almost sick with nervousness, that he was supposed to be on one knee.

“Lily, will you marry me?”

He looked up at her, and saw emotions flash plainly across her face- surprise, disbelief, joy, and then, a calm, sure, serene smile.

“Yes James. Of course, yes.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The End.