Mesmerized Drowning

SimpleeDazed

Rating: PG13
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 02/03/2003
Last Updated: 13/05/2003
Status: completed

Harry is smart, a star Quidditch player, charming, mysterious, and dangerous. Ordinary witch, Hermione Granger, finds herself caught up in a love filled relationship with everything she ever wanted. He looks out for her, he's being the perfect guy that he is, and the biggest problem is that he's Harry Potter. He's dangerous- in a bad way, and Hermione is in too deep.

Chapters

1. Hello

2. Friendly Conversations

3. Star Gazing

4. Predictable or Not

5. Accepting Reality

6. Only You

7. Harry's Room

8. Misunderstood

1. Hello

AN: Ack, I've been trying to control myself in writing two fics at once, but I can't help it. I suppose it's really hard to keep calm when you have so many ideas for a fic running about. So yes, *sigh*, I had to write this now. Even though I'm still struggling through with another fic. *gurgle* Oh wells, hope you enjoy. This fic is one of my darker ones I suppose, inspired from a novel called Dreamland. Yet I'm changing the storyline quite a bit. Enjoy~! ^_^

This is an AU fic, meaning people might be in different houses and all that.

Disclaimer: Pitiful, I own nothing of the HP world. Pitiful.

Mesmerized Drowning
Chapter One: Hello

In order to see the rainbow you have to handle the rain.

I hate the feeling of summer ending, and watching the sunset knowing that tomorrow would mean back to school; infact, my first year studying at Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardy. Yet I love the feeling of summer ending, watching the sunset and knowing that tomorrow's would be different. Another year, another adventure...another chapter of my life.

I'm Hermione Granger, former student studying at the well-known luxurious Beauxbatons Academy of Magic . I'm also a muggle-born, and I'm not ashamed to say it. Don't get the idea that I'm boasting, but I have been top of my class eversince my magical education begun six years ago. So what's so bad about a little bit of muggle blood in my veins?

Furthermore, I'm just a sixteen year old witch, turning seventeen. No, I don't cackle or turn people into toads and expect people to kiss them. However, I can hex someone and make them not want to see daylight ever again- but I'm not that cruel. I've never been part of the "popular" group, but more reserved...spending time in the library would be my ideal way of spending a Sunday afternoon. I suppose I'm a bookworm. I don't strive to stand out or get the opposite gender to stare goggle-eyed at me. I strive to..suceed? As corny as it does sound, I want to reach my goals, my dreams..and I can- I will.

I'm always in control. You want to pick a fight with me? Mmm, you'll loose. I can be ridiculously stubborn if I must. Hmm..apparently that's one of the reasons that I've only had a couple of friends.

Talking about friends...they'll probably become part of my past now. Good-bye Beauxbatons, enter Hogwarts. I'll miss them, but I know I can't dawdle about on things that can't be changed or argued with. My parents decided to move, after giving birth to my little sister Anthea. I didn't argue. I'm a person full of different traits and opinions. I love books, and I love adventure. Hogwarts will be a whole new experience, and knowing the school's grand reputation, I know I'll get my proper education there.

So here I am, watching the last bit of sun disappear from sight. The sky tainted by crimson streaks and golden flecks- I couldn't wait until tomorrow.

~*~

In my hands, I'm holding a copy of Hogwarts: A History ; the 52nd edition. I've read it over and over again from the moment I found out that I would be studying there. The school amazes me, with its extraordinary history and charms that protect it. Beauxbatons has similiar defences, but none as complex.

"Honey? Do you have the letter with you?" My mom's warm voice brought me back to earth.

"Of course, how could I forget?" I dug one hand into the pockets of my new black robes and pulled out a wrinkled piece of parchment. My mom smiled.

"It's just like my Hermione to never forget a thing," She beamed, taking the parchment from my hands. "It says here...platform 9 and three quarters. That's awfully strange..." My dear mother's brow furrowed. Being the muggle that she was, she wasn't use to things out of the ordinary. But I love her just the way she is.

"I think it literally means 9 and three quarters, mum," I went onto my tiptoes trying to catch sight of the platform. Kings Cross Station seemed to be full of people, so I didn't stand out so much in my bellowing black robes. Yet nonetheless, I should've listened to dad about changing into my new school robes on the train instead. I guess I'm just too excited.

My mum didn't seem so sure. "Maybe we should ask..."

"Oh I'm pretty sure I'm right," I answered stubbornly, pushing my cart towards platform 9. My mum followed, her heels clicking. "I don't see it Hermie."

I winced at the nickname and my mum laughed. "Sorry dear, I just couldn't help myself."

"Well...alright," I rolled my eyes but smiled. "You can call me Hermie if you want. But just because I'm leaving and I'll miss you mum."

I noticed she was getting teary-eyed and I couldn't help but to pull her into a hug. "But I'll be back..as a fully trained witch." I whispered into her ear.

"I know Hermione...you'll make us proud. Anthea will look up to you, I'm sure of it." She stepped back and ran an adoring hand through my chestnut curls.

I bit my lip to stop it from quivering. I never realized how much I would miss home and Anthea's drool on me. I sniffled, just as I caught sight of a boy disappearing through the wall between platforms 9 and 10. I blinked.

"Did you see that??" I uttered in shock.

"What?"

I shook my head, my hair bouncing around my shoulders. "Nevermind. I think I know where the platform is now." I turned to look my mum in the eye. "Love you lots mum!" And encircled my arms around her thin frame.

"Me too, don't forget to write!" She called to me for I was already running and pushing my cart towards the wall. I was going awfully fast, right at the bricks, and before I got there my eyes clamped shut.

I stayed that way for a good whole minute before I felt someone tapping my shoulder and chuckling in amusement.

"You got through, no need to keep your eyes closed anymore."

I opened one eye at a time and let out a breath of relief. "Thank goodness. I thought I might've crashed."

"You must be new then? I don't recognize you at all!" The girl standing before me was up to my eyebrows, with stunning red hair that flowed past her shoulders.

"Yes, I'm a transfer student from Beauxbatons." I brought out my hand for her to shake. "Hermione Granger."

She smiled, showing nice white teeth. "Virginia Weasley. But I find that too fancy, so just call me Ginny." She shook my hand. "What year will you be in?"

"Seventh," I replied, and noticed her slightly crestfallen look. "Is something the matter?"

"Oh, no! It's just that you're a year ahead of me. Oh well...I can still show you around," She offered.

I smiled, "That would be nice."

We started towards the scarlet Hogwarts Express together, with me staring wide-eyed at the many students boarding the train.

"I really do hope you end up in Gryffindor!" She exclaimed as we settled ourselves into an empty compartment. It was rather nice, with maroon carpeting and nice mahogany paneled walls.

With my knowledge about the school from books, I understood what she meant. "What are the houses like anyways?"

"Well Gryffindor's nice..full of people like...me?" Ginny laughed. "Um..Ravenclaw is for the intelligent people, Hufflepuff's are all emotional in my opinion, but they're nice..and Slytherin is plain nasty." She finished with a grimace.

That peeked my curiousity. "What's so 'nasty' about it?"

"People who get sorted into that house...usually end up on the dark side.." Ginny said with a lowered voice. "They're also big bullies!" She exclaimed in a louder voice. "Oh...but I suppose..." I raised an eyebrow as her cheeks slowly flushed.

"Continue?" I nudged.

"Well..." She looked at her feet shyly. "They have the yummiest guys!" She finally squealed.

I guffawed loudly and burst into laughter along with her. "Ginny! And you gave me an impression that you were innocent!"

Ginny stared at me with round blue eyes and battered her long lashes. "Me? Innocent? Of course I'm innocent! Why would you have thought otherwise?"

I laughed and rolled my eyes at the silly girl who was clutching onto her stomach from laughter. "So, you're into evil villian like pretty boys then?"

"Well no! It doesn't mean I like them! Slytherin just happens to contain the hottest guys in Hogwarts.." She trailed off and quickly averted her gaze towards the windows. "Oh look at that, the sky is blue!"

I quirked an eyebrow at her before tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Oh I know what you're trying to do Virginia Weasley! Trying to get off topic now are we? Nuh uh, that doesn't work with me!"

"Ok, fine!" She turned to look me in the eye, her sapphire eyes dancing with mischeif. "Well...there's Draco Malfoy...ooh he's a real baddy." She shuddered. "Sleek blonde hair..piercing blue eyes...and darn mean!" She finished with a jump and laughed softly. "We wouldn't live to see the day of a Gryffindor girl beside him though..or a muggle-born."

"Why?" My brow furrowed. I was a muggle-born.

"He has a thing against muggle-borns." Ginny sighed and crossed her legs. "Slytherins and Gryffindors simply don't mix. It's like some invisible rule you know?"

I bit my lip, watching Ginny carefully. She seemed rather depressed that this was the case. "Well, since it's an invisible rule, it's not exactly there. So it wouldn't mean you were breaking a rule if you were to get acquainted with a Slytherin right?"

Ginny stared at me as if I had just grown another head or something of that sort. "Well that wouldn't happen because no Slytherin would want to talk with Gryffindors!" She huffed. "Oh well, they're good for nothing stuck up people anyways."

"Oh.." I propped my chin on my palm. "So who else?" I didn't normally participate in "girl talk" conversations, I thought of them as rather silly. But I guess with Ginny, it was rather amusing.

"There's also...oooh!" Her eyes lit up. "Harry Potter!"

"The Harry Potter?" I asked with surprise evident in my voice.

Ginny nodded quickly. "I assume you've heard about him then?"

"About how he defeated the dark lord last year, yes. But not about him having good looks." I explained.

"Well that's normal. He's so...mysterious. I bet the Daily Prophet's only been able to get one or two photos of him willingly. He's always...in the shadows." She finished dramatically and giggled. "But that just gives him the whole charm!"

I sat back on the velvet seating. "In the shadows? That doesn't sound pleasant."

"I know, but it makes him all the better!" She blushed and shut her mouth. I laughed and shook my head while she opened her mouth again. "He hangs with Draco I think. At least, I see them together sometimes. Usually he's alone though...and if you're not part of his 'in' group you'll probably never even get to say hi to him."

"That's really strange...why does he do that?" I frowned. Someone with great fame like Harry Potter..mucking about in the shadows? That wasn't how I pictured a wizarding wonder to live life.

"We all don't know. I can't really explain it, he's just got this weird aura around him. But like I've send a bunch of times already, that just makes the girls go even more gaga over him," She rolled her eyes and I giggled.

"Yet you seem to be part of that little fan group too!"

"Hermione! Well, we'll see. You'll probably end up in this little fan group too," She shot back.

I chuckled and fell silent, causing the whole compartment to go silent. I drew in a breath and gazed out the window, noticing that the platform had cleared up. Everyone was probably seated on the train now...and the blowing of the train's whistle confirmed my thoughts.

Me? End up in Harry Potter's little fan group? I couldn't hold in the laughter that escaped my lips. Ginny tilted her head with a questioning look. I simply shook my head and replied, "Just thinking to myself." She nodded in understanding and left me to my own little reverie.

That would be the day...to see me, Hermione Granger going overboard for a person of the opposite gender. That's a strange thought..all these years I've never even dated. Sure, I've had those occasional crushes but nothing big. I haven't really wanted to get involved in something big..I guess I just haven't met the right person yet. But I feel like that's just an excuse..an excuse to myself. Maybe I'm insecure, maybe I'm scared in getting into a relationship. I really don't know.

I'm almost seventeen...puberty and crazy hormones are almost at their end aren't they? I really don't know...sometimes I feel like I've got to do something..that I haven't achieved enough. Almost seventeen...wouldn't that mean I'm almost twenty? And then wouldn't I almost be forty, a middle aged woman? That scares me. Time seems to slip by and then I'm only left to think of what could've been. But no...

I don't have to be like normal teenaged girls right? It's alright if all the people I have considered friends have all been at least in one relationship...I'm different. I can be different. Yes, I can.

I can have control over my own life. I don't have to go with the flow or anything of that sort.

This is my life.

~*~

The trip to Hogwarts was fairly pleasant, the scenery never changing all that much from the window of our compartment. I popped a jelly bean into my mouth and instantly made a face. Ginny giggled, "What flavour?"

"I really don't know," I muttered as I looked at the package I had just taken the candy out from. "Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans? Oh gross!!" I spat the mushed up bean into my hand and tossed it onto a napkin. "We never had these back in France at Beauxbatons."

"Really? How can you live without these things?!" Ginny stuck her hand into the package and brought out a handful of different coloured beans. "Hmm..I'll attempt eating this one...doesn't look like the colour of anything nasty." She plopped a turquoise blue one into her mouth and smiled. "Toothpaste!"

I smiled and looked out at the darkening sky. "When are we arriving?"

"Oh, right about now I suppose," Ginny replied just as the train seemed to slow down. I laughed and stood up, stretching my cramped up arms and legs.

"I'll introduce you to some more people once we get into the castle," Ginny said while stuffing all the candy wrappers into the pocket of her robes. "Oh! And you can meet my brother too! He's in the same year as you."

I nodded and headed out of the compartment, shortly followed by Ginny. I couldn't really make out anyone's face with the swarming mass of strangers clad in identicle black robes. A booming voice echoed out over our heads, and I noticed it was coming from a rather large looking man with an awfully large curly beard.

"That's Hagrid! I think you should go with him," Ginny led me up to him and I also realized that he was very tall. "Hi Hagrid!"

"'Ello Ginny! How 'ya doin?" He greeted with a wide friendly grin.

Ginny smiled, "Great! This is Hermione, she's a transfer student from Beauxbatons."

"Ah, 'Ermeene?" Hagrid squinted his eyes at me and I felt myself going rather small.

"Actually, it's Her-my-own-knee." I answered softly.

Hargrid patted me on the shoulder and smiled, "'Alright Hermione, come with me. We'll have to go with the first years since you need to be sorted."

I nodded and waved to Ginny who simply gave me a reassuing smile. I turned back to Hagrid who was already walking off towards a lake, though it was rather invisible through the thick fog that hung around the area. I could barely make out the castle as we neared it on the small boats, but I noticed it was definately much larger than Beauxbatons.

"Ok 'irst years! Follow me now, and 'ermione!" Hagrid called over the crowd of awed first years and led us up the staircase and to a grand double door made of oak. There, a stern looking woman with her hair tied back into a tight bun stood in emerald green robes.

"Welcome, to Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardy. I am Professor McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress and head of Gryffindor House." She gazed at us all through her square glasses, and I thought for a fleeting moment that she had laid her eyes on me for a slightly longer period of time. "You will all be sorted into houses. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin." Professor McGonagall glanced at us again and turned with a swish of her robes to push the mass double doors open.

I swallowed as bright light met my eyes and the eyes of many students. I glanced up at the enchanted ceiling with curiousity, having read about it in Hogwarts: A History. It was rather fascinating how it really did look like the real sky.

Four long tables were in the room, with four long banners hanging from the ceiling in four different colours. I felt rather old standing amongst a crowd of first years.

"Amanda Hemmings."

A few seconds went by before an old battered hat bellowed, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

The line of students slowly shortened and then I found myself walking up the stairs and plopping the old battered sorting hat upon my own head. I couldn't help but feel nervous and gripped the sleeves of my robes tightly.

"Ah..you have a very clever mind...brave...very loyal..ah you like books. History. Everything? You have goals, you have courage...hmm this is rather hard I do say. You have many qualities Hermione Granger. But...I believe you will suceed the most in..." I bit my lip as I felt the hat give a sudden lurch.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

My lips broke out into a wide smile as I joined the clapping table of Gryffindor. I found Ginny sitting beside a boy with identicle red hair. I sat across from them and Ginny beamed. "I'm so glad you're in Gryffindor!" She squealed in delight.

"Same!"

"This is Ron," She gestured towards the boy sitting next to her. He grinned at me widely and stuck out his hand from across the table. "Ron Weasley!"

I shook his hand...he seemed rather energetic. "Hermione Granger.." I answered awkwardly as he finally stopped shaking my hand.

"Splendid for you to join our merry company Hermione!" A voice broke in and I found myself looking at another boy.

"I'm Seamus Finnigan!" He introduced and sighed. "To bad you didn't come here last year! Fred and George would have made a wonderful addition in welcoming you!"

"Fred and George?" I questioned.

Ginny rolled her eyes, "My twin brothers, awfully.."

"Awful," Ron finished. I laughed when suddenly the room silenced and a wise looking man stood up from the front of the room. He must be Albus Dumbledore..

He welcomed everyone to another exciting year at Hogwarts, listing the forbidden areas of the castle. I glanced down at my empty plate, wondering when the food was going to arrive when suddenly pop, it simply appeared.

"Ah!" I jumped up slightly and everyone around me laughed.

"No worries Hermione, the carrots don't bite," A boy named Dean chuckled.

I let out a breath and smiled, "Hopefully not." I stuck my spoon into a bit of mashed potatoes and brought the food to my mouth. The cooking was excellent in my opinion.

"Oooh look, there he is..." A girl named Lavender whispered with a giggle.

Ginny seemed to be already looking off at a distance along with Lavender and I decided to turn my shoulder to see what they were all gaping at.

What I met were a pair of piercing emerald green eyes...belonging to a boy with unruly ebony hair as dark as midnight, his eyes contrasting so greatly with his hair. His skin was rather pale, but not ghostly...and the thing was- he was looking straight at me. I couldn't bring myself to think clearly. Was I hullicinating? Perhaps. But I was almost positive that those eerie eyes were on me.

My eyes felt dry now. I still couldn't blink. Oh Hermione! What is happening to you? It's not like you've never seen a person of the opposite sex! And here I am, gaping like the rest of the female population at the boy sitting at the darkest corner of the Slytherin table.

I finally brought myself to blink, and the same gaze from the same boy was still on me. But this time, his lips opened and I swear he had mouthed "Hello" to me. Or not. I shook my head absent mindedly and quickly turned away from that almost menacing stare.

No, I am simply hullicinating. Because that was Harry Potter. I was pretty sure it was Harry Potter. It fit Ginny's description of him exactly.

And according to her...no one got to say hello to Harry Potter unless you were part of the crowd he hung out with. Now I wasn't so sure I could finish my dinner. Why was my stomach doing incredibly huge summersaults?

It's not a curse that Harry Potter decided to mouth a 'Hello' to me...right?

AN: That was kind of an introductory, just to get everything going ^_^|| Hope you enjoyed it and please review and you'll make me smile =P

2. Friendly Conversations

Disclaimer: Pitiful, I own nothing of the HP world. Pitiful.

Mesmerized Drowning
Chapter Two: Friendly Conversations

Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardy was indeed as rich and full of splendor as described in books; so I have learned during my short first week here. From enjoying transfiguring simple plastic muggle forks to crystalline sapphires or just lounging about in the Gryffindor common room- I've experienced it all.

And with all the good comes the bad. There was Professor Snape whom I instantly disliked. Peeves the poltergeist was impossible to stand. And then there was Filch and his beloved Mrs. Norris. Strange, I wonder who Mr. Norris is. Yet I must admit that the good outweighed the bad.

Overlooking the basic aspects of my life in Hogwarts, there was also the inevitable. At this moment, my life is exciting, everything still feels fresh and a day passes by as a mere second. But still, there's that nagging feeling in the back of my mind. Perhaps it's the stress of exams already befalling me; that's no surprise. But I know for a fact that this wasn't it. There was something else, possibly somebody. Mr Harry Potter.

Eversince the beginning of the year feast, I have taken keen interest in where he lurks about. Ginny didn't lie. You would think the shadows followed him. The most I ever saw of him was half of his face, while the other half stayed in the veil of darkness that cloaked his figure.

No, I couldn't let this stranger nag at my brain. He doesn't do anything at all, but I feel my eyes rise to meet his when I feel his presence about. And almost always I would find those jaded eyes and drown in them. Almost willingly, but most of the time...simply mesmerized by his gaze. It was just another pair of eyes, I would scold myself, but they were so different at the same time. I'm beginning to fret that Lavender and Parvati have already casted their 'girlyness' upon me, book hugging Granger.

"Move it!" Someone shoved by me and I glared at them with daggers. How rude of them!

However, that was when I noticed the crowd that had gathered at the base of the staircase leading to the Great Hall. A couple more people rushed by me and I caught snippets of their conversation.

"Harry Potter..." was a name that I clearly heard amongst the crowd of eager anticipating people.

I couldn't help but feel confusion fill my mind. "What's going on?" I questioned from left to right.

"It's Harry Potter! And Pansy Parkinson!"

I pushed my way to the front, ending up with a nail scratch on my hand. At once I caught sight of Harry, but this time no shadow hid him from prodding eyes. He was standing right there, dead centre of the circle being formed around him and that girl- Pansy Parkinson.

I knew the girl was a Slytherin, but all I heard of her were negative comments. Right now, she was also standing tall and straight facing Harry with a contorted look on her face.

"You liar!" She pointed a finger at Harry accusingly. "Just admit it already. Why are you hiding the truth?"

The expression on Harry's face was unreadable, masked with experience from his past no doubt. He casually slipped his hands into the pockets of his dark jeans. "There is nothing for me to hide," was his curt reply.

I swore I saw Pansy smirk but it was only seconds before a somber look covered it. "Oh Harry...what's wrong with you? What's wrong with us?"

The group of students broke out into hurrid whispers. I frowned deeply. Pansy and Harry were together? Somehow I found that rather...hard to swallow.

Harry stayed silent.

"Is it not enough that I gave you my first? Or is that of no value to the great savior of the world?!" She literally hollered at his face.

My jaw opened and shut. What in the world?! Was this girl mad? What was she trying to get at?

"You gave me nothing but a few words. The words that you are so brainlessly saying now." His voice never changed. No anger, no joy. I was confused.

Pansy huffed and bit her lip, willing herself to cry. "Harry Potter! Why is it that you cannot love me the way I love you?"

Dead silence filled the hall.

Harry blinked once, his gaze never leaving Pansy's wide eyes that seemed to flicker with malice and hope. I could feel the anger boiling in me, this girl was sickening.

"No." Harry's voice had actually risen, and the scar on his forehead seemed redder than usual due to his sudden pale features. "You do not love me. You love Harry Potter." His eyes gleamed, causing everyone to slink back a few steps. "Now stop this act before..."

Yet Pansy had turned beat red and was shaking with sheer anger. "Oh you prat! You just watch yourself and your little attitude Potter. Can't you get it through that thick head of yours? I like you damnit, and you keep on ignoring me!" Suddenly a smirk crossed her lips. "But whatever Potter. You ignoring me doesn't meen the rest of the male population is. Suit yourself." And she was off. My gaze snapped back to Harry though he was already walking by me and away. I had a sudden urge to tap him on the arm as he went by; and I did.

He turned to me, holding me by his gaze once again. I swallowed hard. I was having difficulties forming sentences but before I realized, Harry spoke up.

"Yes?"

"Uh...what did you mean then? Saying Pansy should stop before..something. And then you got cut off...and then uhhhh..." I was babbling on nervously and I wanted to slap myself right then and there. Why couldn't I just calm down!

Harry looked at me- hard. I could feel those emerald orbs bearing down on me as he turned to leave. I was about to think he wasn't going to even say anything back to me...

"She was smart to have left. It wouldn't have been tears she would have shed."

I watched as his lips moved to form those words as he retreated up the staircase and around the corner, back into the shadow's embrace.

~*~

Several days later, I had finally obtained the entire story about the event that had occurred at the base of the staircase. At last, Lavender and Parvati had more information than books.

The story was simple, and the moral of it was that school sluts should not mess with Harry Potter. Pansy Parkinson had never even been with Harry. She never slept with him or even touched a strand of his hair. It had all been one of Pansy's foolish attempts to get Harry to notice her. A bit too dramatic in my opinion.

"Yeah, when she's desperate she gets way over herself," Lavender rolled her eyes. "I'm glad there's only one Pansy Parkinson in this school."

"But wasn't it embarrassing? To just declare infront of half of the student body that she had slept with Harry Potter?!" I huffed, Pansy was surely insane. "You would have to put me under the Imperius Curse for me to even think about saying such absurd things!"

Ginny hopped down the staircase leading to the girl's dormitories. "Talking about our innocent little Pansy?" She took a seat next to me on the big scarlet couch.

"Yes, Herms was just pointing out Pansy's lack of shame towards her behavior. But personally I think Pansy doesn't care. She's done too much and she knows she's the school's biggest whore." Parvati mumbled. "Excuse my language Herms."

I sighed, "Well she must've been crazy! Doing what she did would just cause Harry to hate her!"

"Well, we have a brain, but apparently that doesn't mean Pansy does," Ginny noted and sighed warily. "Nothing fazes Harry."

"I know!" Parvati seemed rather proud, though I'm not sure why. "He's been through so much. I'm sure a couple nutty girls have no effect on him at all!"

Lavender broke into a giggling fit. I rolled my eyes, the giggling was a warning to me that 'gal talk' was on its way.

I stood up abruptly. "I just remembered something! I left my quill in the library, see you all later!" I quickly darted out of the portrait hole before they could comment.

I was feeling agitated and I wasn't very sure why.

"Maybe because it's always about you. Isn't it?!" I muttered under my breath as I walked through the library doors. "It's always Harry Potter this and Harry Potter that! Really!" I marched over towards a tall dusty chestnut bookcase and let out a breath.

"I agree. It's always about him isn't it?"

I spun around in all directions, trying to find the source of the voice. I didn't see anyone, and suddenly I felt awfully alone and the library didn't feel too cozy. Madame Pince wasn't around; coffee break perhaps?

"Are you spying on me? Whoever you are?" I hoped my voice had not been shaking and sounded firm enough to show that this stranger did not surprise me at the very least.

A chuckle came from somewhere around me. "Not at all. I just happen to be looking for some books for my herbology essay."

I raised an eyebrow. "Why are you hiding then?"

"Well..." I heard shuffling towards my left and someone stepping out into view... "didn't want to surprise you now, did I?"

Of course. I should have known! It was Harry. Who else had that voice? Who else hid from sight?

Instead of the cold expressionless look I had seen a few days back, he now wore an amused twinkle in his entrancing green eyes. He was clad in a deep forest green turtleneck sweater with black khakis, leaning aginst the bookcase slightly with one arm. In his other hand he held a book with a muggle wristwatch on his wrist.

"It's you!" I exclaimed rather bluntly. Of course it was him you silly git.

He slowly walked towards one of the many tables of the library and took a seat. "That's right Hermione Granger, it's me."

I stared at him wide eyed. "How do you know my name?"

He fixed his eyes on me. "Well, how do you know my name?"

I examined his facial expression, trying to see if he was joking or not. Yet his expression was serious, as if it was suppose to be that no one knew of his name. "How do I know? Oh...maybe because you're Harry Potter!" I exclaimed incredously.

His features suddenly looked bitter. I shivered involuntarily. "So? Does that mean that every damn person I meet must know my name? Know my birthday? My favourite colour? There was even a time when people like you knew more about me than even myself." He finally exhaled and the bitterness on his face vanished without a trace.

I bit my lip nervously. He obviously expected me to say something. "No." I blurted out. "I mean...I don't know what I mean actually." I confessed exasperatedly . "But why are you making it sound like it's so bad that everyone literally adores you? That's why so many witches and wizards know your face, your birthday, your favourite colour! You're a hero in their eyes."

He snorted and ran a hand through his tousled dark hair. "Adore me? Ch, they don't adore me. I'm a hero? Possibly, but you wouldn't understand."

I frowned, "Well maybe if you quit acting so creepy I will understand!" I crossed my arms and stared straight back at him without hesitation.

Harry still sat unfazed. Ginny was right again. Nothing seemed to startle him, nothing at all. "Yes, of course. After all, you're Hermione Granger. You'd understand everything."

My brow creased. "Are you mocking me?"

The boy-who-lived simply shifted his glasses. "No." I didn't hear anything but sincerity in his voice. I fell silent.

"You're already top of the class in this short period of time, well, along side with me," He smirked. "Answering the question you had a while back about your name? Well, you're the new girl are you not? Naturally I'll hear about you around the school quite a bit."

"I see.."

Harry sat up straighter in his chair. "So now are you going to answer my question? It's only fair."

"I did already didn't I?"

"Answer again then," He simply replied.

I rolled my eyes. "How do I know your name? Hmmm...let me think...this is rather hard. Well maybe because the name Harry Potter is in a dozen million books, and maybe because this young man happens to have defeated you-know-who twice." I stated matter-of-factly and was about to continue when Harry pulled his chair back and stood up.

"Yes, it's always the same reason and story isn't it?" He grumbled as he headed towards the doors of the library. "I had false hope in thinking maybe the second time round you would answer differently. It's always about the books and the media."

I watched as he pushed opened the doors to leave. "Wait!" I called. He stopped but didn't turn. "Why hide in the shadows then? When you can have so much in the spotlight?" I couldn't help myself. This question had nagged at me from the very start and I wanted an answer.

He seemed to be processing the question in his mind before he finally broke the silence. "The world of fame isn't as glorious as it seems. You have to face reality. And reality is cruel."

"Has it been cruel to you though?" I found it hard to believe that the great Harry Potter would think of life as a cruel thing.

The Slytherin boy was silent again, pondering over my question once again. But this time no reply came from him for he had abruptly walked through the doors without another word or even a good-bye.

One thing that Harry Potter definately needed to learn were manners!

But nonetheless, it finally dawned on me that I had just had an actual face to face conversation with the great savior of the whole wizarding world.

~*~

I kept my little conversation with Harry a secret. Though I had no reason to and I wasn't ashamed about it or something, I just simply didn't want two of my roomates to go all giddy around me. I could imagine Lavender fainting right then and there going "Goodness! The Harry Potter?!"

Girls. Sometimes I am rather ashamed to be part of this gender. Not that I wanted to be a boy.

"Oy! Hermione!" I looked over my shoulder. I saw the grinning face of Ron Weasley coming up to me with a rather excited look in his blue eyes. "Yes Ron?"

"Quidditch season is starting! Are you up for it?"

"What exactly does that mean?" I questioned.

Ron grinned from ear to ear. "I mean, are you going to try out?"

I stared at him as if he was a maniac. Was Ron crazy? "Hello Ron? You're talking to who? You're talking to Hermione Granger here. Miss Bookaholic."

He laughed and shook his head, "Ah too bad then. It's bloody fun you know! You get to fly around and beat those tiny little Slytherins into mushy pulps with bludgers..."

"Ron!" I glared at his disapprovingly and he sighed.

"Ok, nevermind about the bludger part. But other than that, Quidditch is really fun! You get to fly on a broomstick with the cool spring breeze whipping in your face and the cheers from the crowds makes your spirits rise and.."

"Stop!" I brought him back down to earth and giggled. "You looked so faraway!"

"Sorry," He grinned sheepishly at me and we continued down the hallway towards Professor McGonagall's classroom. "Ginny's on the team you know? She's a chaser, a really good one too."

I smiled, "Really? I didn't know."

"Yeah, she tends to forget to introduce that part of herself to people." He said. "Madame Hooch has just informed the captains of the teams about the first match. It's Gryffindor versus Slytherin! Ha, those Slytherins think their all that but I'm not gonna let 'em win this time!"

"They won last year?"

Ron nodded grimly. "It's all that Potter's fault I tell you."

"Harry?"

"Uh huh," He nodded quickly. "He got the position of the Slytherin Quidditch team captain last year. Something about Malfoy failing all of his courses except potions so Snape had to give the position to someone else which just had to be Harry Potter. And he's bloody darn good!" Ron relunctantly confessed as we entered the Transfiguration classroom. "But this year, we're prepared for any weird tricks that Potter's gonna pull! Right Seamus?" He turned to face his friend that was already sitting in one of the many seats.

"Darn right Ron!" Seamus grinned at him and me. "Our little Ronny here is captain on our team, did you know that Hermione?"

"No," I rolled my eyes. "And saying your sister tends to forget about introducing the Quidditch side of herself. Seems to me you forgot to tell me too."

Ron just laughed and took his seat next to Dean and Seamus. I headed towards the front of the classroom where Neville Longbottom was sitting. I sometimes felt sorry for this guy since he seemed to have horrible memory and lacked friends.

"Hey Neville," I greeted and placed my book bag beside my desk.

"Hi Hermione! Aren't you excited? The first Quidditch match of the season is in two weeks time! Well I think it is at least...I'm not very sure if it was two weeks or three...err.." He looked rather thoughtful.

"Why is everyone such crazy Quidditch fans in this school?" I asked to no one in particular.

"Because! Harry's on the team!!" Parvati squealed from behind me. "I'm so glad that the first match is Gryffindor versus Slytherin! I was starting to loose my memory of Harry on a broomstick since its been an entire two months since I've seen him on one!"

I was about to say something back at her but the sudden appearance of a familiar tabby cat silenced the room. When the cat finally reached the front of the classroom it instantly turned into Professor McGonagall in her sweeping emerald robes. "Good afternoon class."

"Good afternoon Professor McGonagall," The class chorused in fake excitement, though mine was not fake at all. We had Transfiguration with the Hufflepuffs and they weren't hard to get along with.

"Right now," She clapped her hands together. "I want you all to go back into the groups you were in last class to continue on trying to transfigure spools of thread into mice."

I heard Lavender squeak and whisper, "And I thought we were done with that." to Parvati.

Justin Finch-Fletchley came up to me and took the seat the Neville had just abandoned to join his partner. "Ok, we've only got five more to go." He said while placing the five spools of thread in front of me and a cage of mice on his desk. There had been ten spools of thread in the frist place, but we had sucessfully got five of them to change into mice. I found it rather unique that the tails of the mice were different coloured according to the colour of thread the spool they had once been were.

I brought out my wand, "Great, so only five more to go."

"Yep," He smiled and followed my lead.

As I placed a spool of grass green thread in front of me, Justin decided to break my concentration. "Isn't it exciting? Quidditch season.."

"Yes, yes, yes! I know, it's starting," I cut him off rather rudely and blushed. "Sorry, I've just been hearing that for the past hour."

"Oh, I see," He nodded with understanding. "Yes, but it's starting rather early this year."

I shrugged, I wouldn't know. "So...are you on the team?" I decided to ask to start some friendly conversation.

"Yeah! I'm a Beater, strained my arm a dozen times! We're having tryouts to get a new Keeper though since Cedric Diggory graduated last year and he was keeper." Justin explained rather excitedly. "I just hope we won't have to play against the Slytherins."

"Why not?" I asked with interest.

"Because they play so violently! You should watch them this upcoming match and you'll understand what I mean. It was even more violent when Draco Malfoy had been the captain. I'm kind of glad Harry replaced him. But he's really good which makes their team almost unbeatable!" Justin sighed as he waved his wand over a spool of purple thread and it instantly turned into a broomstick. He grinned, "Guess we better stop thinking about Quidditch."

"Right," I agreed and went back to transfiguring my spool of thread which I managed to change into a mouse instantly. I carefully picked it up and dropped it into the cage. "Go join your little friends."

Justin chuckled, "You don't scream when you're around mice?"

"No, why would you say that?"

He pointed over towards Lavender and Parvati's table in which they were nearly shrieking when they managed to transfigure their spool of thread into half a mouse with its head still a spool. "Because you're a girl and it's a universal fear for girls."

I whipped my wand over another spool. "Well it doesn't mean I have to be like them does it?" I snapped. "Oh gosh I'm sorry for snapping. It just frustrates me when people compare me to...well...I'm not saying that Lavender and Parvati are bad or anything but.."

Justin nodded, "I understand."

"Good," I smiled and dropped another mouse into the cage. "Well they both get all giddy when they talk about Harry and I think it's not that big of a deal. I didn't get that giddy when I talked with him."

"You talked with him?" Justin asked with surprise written across his face.

I blushed, "Well in a way yes..."

"Wow, that's rare. I mean rare for Harry to talk to someone who's not in the same house as him. Especially a Gryffindor!" He exclaimed. "I think he might like you." He added rather softly.

I stared at him incredously. "No way! I'm just Hermione. We just bumped in the library and we just accidentally started talking."

"Accidentally started a conversation? That makes alot of sense Hermione," Justin said sarcastically but then lowered his voice. "But I would be careful if I were you. It's not everyday that you see Harry Potter speaking to a girl. And no offense, but to a girl as smart as you, to put it nicely. It's just he doesn't have many female friends, possibly none."

I nodded numbly but frustration was evident on my face. "I'll make my own descisions on who I need to watch out for, thank you." And this time I didn't apologize for snapping at him and I wasn't very sure why.

3. Star Gazing

Disclaimer: Pitiful, I own nothing of the HP world. Pitiful.

Mesmerized Drowning
Chapter Three: Star Gazing

Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by itself.

The end of September was drawing near, which meant the upcoming Quidditch match was just around the corner. I've never been a big fan of it, but one couldn't help but feel excited when everyone around you talked about it 24/7. Being friends with Ron wasn't a big help either since he bombarded me with Quidditch talk whenever he wasn't talking about wizard's chess; something that he was ridiculously good at and prided himself for it.

With the buzz of excitement around me, I found it hard to concentrate on my studies wherever I went. I also found myself thinking about him a bit too much for my liking. Eversince our encounter in the library, I've pondered on thoughts and questions that I couldn't find the answers to. Why did he even speak to me? I've already earned the title of Goody Two Shoes Granger from most of the Slytherins. Why would the great Harry Potter waste his breath on me...in some friendly conversation?

Oh stupid thoughts. Stop pestering me! I've got to finish my Arithmancy assignment and Potions essay by this Friday if I wanted to even think of going to watch the Quidditch match. I've always had a motto of assignments before fun and games, and I wasn't about to break this motto now.

"Two more days!" Parvati squealed and flopped down beside me.

"Are you that eager to see us on broomsticks?" Seamus asked hautingly as he emerged from the potrait hole.

Lavender scowled and bonked him on the head from behind. "Of course not, you git. I see enough of you everyday!"

I sighed. So much for a peaceful study period.

Seamus was pouting and faking a hurt expression on his face. "That's not very nice Miss Lavender Brown."

"Oh please," Lavender huffed and took a seat on one of the many squashy, scarlet lounge chairs in the Gryffindor common room.

Parvati giggled, "We're not interested in watching you play Seamus. As much as we love you, we're actually looking forward to see Harry play." She examined her nails and stole a quick glance at Lavender who nodded in agreement.

Seamus grunted and I actually thought he looked angry for a second there. "Right. Of course! It's only natural that the whole female population go on their knees at Potter's presence."

"Not everyone," I finally spoke up.

Seamus glanced at me and grinned, "Yeah, the rest of the male population can all count on Hermione to not join the Harry Potter fan club, right Herms?"

I slowly nodded, "...I suppose..."

"Exactly," Seamus shook his head while heading towards the boy's dormitories. "I'm glad there's someone who's not so shallow."

Once Seamus was out of sight, Parvati started ranting about like a wild cat. "Oh what does he know!? He's not a girl. And if he was, I'm sure he'll just be like the rest of us!"

"That's not a pleasant thought," I murmered.

"Hermione! But you must agree that Harry is way too..." Lavender was leaning on the edge of her seat now with the most dumb look on her face.

"Perfect!" Both girls finished in unison and erupted into giggles.

After a few seconds of endless giggling I had to slam my potions textbook on the coffee table in front of me. That did the trick for they instantly silenced themselves.

"Can't you two do something else in your spare time rather than acting like two crazed baboons?!" I snapped impatiently.

Parvati blinked, "Why baboons?"

"Why not spent our free time admiring someone who's worthy of admiration?" Lavender quipped.

I rolled my eyes at the two. "Because it's getting supid and what good will it do to wish for the impossible?!" I flung my arms in the air in exasperation.

"Are you saying we're stupid?" Lavender's brow creased.

Parvati frowned, "And are you saying that it's impossible for Harry to notice us?!"

"Well, no! But..."

Parvati huffed and crossed her arms, "If you're dissing us you might as well be dissing the whole female population of Hogwarts."

"And don't think that you're excluded from this group. I see you stealing glances at him myself!" Lavender declared in an accusing tone of voice.

"So what if I do?!" The words came spilling out before I could stop them. "At least I can have a decent conversation with him rather than spending seven years drooling about him like you two!"

Both of their eyes widened and I finally realized what I had just spilt.

"You talked with him?!" They both exclaimed.

"When?! Why?! That's amazing Hermione!"

I stared at them in complete disbelief. One second ago we were at the edge of getting into a silly arguement and the next they were staring at me in awe.

"It was nothing." I got up quickly and stuffed my books into my bag.

"Where are you going?"

"Uh...to the Great Hall. It's almost dinner time anyways," I lied and slipped out of Gryffindor Tower and away from two love-sick roommates.

Ok, I have to admit that Harry is quite a catch in looks and all that. But what about that saying- don't judge a book by its cover? We all don't know him as a person. For all I know he could be some insane murderer pretending not to be one. Well that's a bit far-fetched, but you get the idea. Or perhaps...he's just as perfect on the inside...

What would dad and mum think of me if I owled them with my problems concerning a boy that I barely know? They would go mad and remind me that my studies ranked first when it came to anything else.

That's right Hermione, we mustn't stray from the path that we've been walking on from the very beginning just because of a pair of green eyes...

Yet...that thought just seemingly vanishes in an instance. It was just a moment ago that I had been scolding myself...yet now in another moment, I see those eyes again just over there, staring at me...

And I'm drowning all over again. Darn it.

~*~

Frankly my mouth speaks alot differently then my heart. Much to my dismay, guess who I'm staring at right now? Uh-huh, him- Harry Potter, the boy who lived. Alright, so L and D (my nickname for my two lovely roommates) finally got something right but I'm not infatuated over Harry like them. I'm staring at him just because....I have nothing better to do!

Or not. Well...I must admit I'm just curious. He is, afterall, the boy who single-handedly defeated dozens of Death Eaters and finally Voldemort himself. Who wouldn't be curious about this hero?

"Herms!"

I blinked.

"Herms!!" A hand flew in front of my face which caught my attention instantly.

"What?"

"Your dinner is getting chilly," Ron pointed out thoughtfully and stared at his own cleared plate. "If you're not hungry..."

I waved a hand lazily at my untouched dinner. "Sure thing Ron, eat all you want."

"Really?!" His eyes brightened and I couldn't help but wonder how Ron did it; staying so fit and healthy when he clearly ate too much for his own good.

"Really Ron, I'm not that hungry," I answered without another thought and found my eyes traveling towards the Slytherin table. I mentally smacked myself and tried to tear my gaze away when a set of cold gray eyes met mine. The figure stood and seemingly...approached Gryffindow table. Oh dear.

I quickly looked away and tried starting a conversation with Ginny who was sitting next to me. Maybe I was just hullicinating that some creepy looking guy was approaching me...

"Hermionknee Granger," a voice drawled out unpleasantly.

I winced and hesitantly looked up while brushing a stray strand of hair from my face. I didn't know what to say to this stranger...

"Draco Malfoy!" I heard Ginny hiss.

This was the infamous Draco Malfoy? Son of Lucius Malfoy who had abruptly disappeared after the fall of Voldemort? Draco Malfoy, the friend of Harry Potter? I gazed at his pale skin and sleek blonde hair, a smirk on his face. Somehow I couldn't imagine him and Harry as goody goody buddies.

"Weasley," He sneered. "What are you doing here?"

Ginny scoffed, her held held high. "Because this is Gryffindor table you dolt!"

Draco seemed to flush in embarrassment but hastily regained his composure. "Oh whatever, I didn't come here to bicker with you." His eyes landed on me once again. "So you're the new girl aren't you?"

"Yes..."

He didn't let me finish. "I see you've already earned the title of teacher's pet? Head of the class now aren't you? How surprising! I hear that you're a muggle born, a Mudblood."

My eyes flared and I immediately stood up to face him. "Who are you to say what I am?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, not expecting me to have retaliated. "Oh, feisty one are we? Aw too bad, I thought you might've been one of those quiet, shy, studious type of girl. You know, they're the best in bed..."

Ginny suddenly stood up beside me. "Leave her alone!"

"Oh go away," Draco scowled. "Why don't you run home to that pathetic father of your's?"

This boy was getting on my nerves. "Your father isn't so wonderful himself." I retorted. "I hear he ran away and hid when he figured he would be killed so he ran like a worthless scared rat!"

Ginny stared at me wide-eyed while Draco fumed in front of me with balled fists. We were creating quite a scene.

"How dare you insult my father!"

"You're his lapdog!"

Draco looked so furious that I thought he would erupt and simply disappear. Yet before I could get a grip on things, I saw him reach into the pocket of his robes and bring out his wand...I quickly closed my eyes awaiting whatever curse he was going to cast at me...

"Stop it, Draco." A calm voice admist the rest came to my rescue.

I opened my eyes, expecting to see a furious professor, but no- fate had a different plan. It was Harry.

He had brought a firm hand on Draco's shoulder which caused Draco to lower his wand slightly. Draco now turned to meet Harry's gaze with frustration written all over his face. "Potter! You don't know what type of a wench this Mudblood is!"

I caught my breath, feeling slightly dazed at the sudden turn of events. I finally found my voice and uttered, "I'm not a Mudblood."

Draco opened his mouth but Harry beat him to it. "Let's go Hermione," He stepped forward and waved a hand towards the big grand doors leading out of the Great Hall.

I looked at Harry in surprise. "What?" He stared back at me, a strange look in his eyes that told me to follow...I nodded slowly. "Right...let's go..."

Ginny and Draco both looked at us dumbfounded, which I soon came to realize that the whole school was also following our every step towards the exit.

After what felt like the millionth step, we were finally pushing through the doors and away from everyone's inquiring gazes. I let out a breath.

"Thank you...for saving me from Malfoy and all.."

Harry simply nodded, though I couldn't read his expression through the dim light of the torch-lighted hallway. "Malfoy can sometimes be a git."

"Sometimes?" I repeated in disbelief.

He headed towards the staircase that led towards the outside of the castle without answering me. When I didn't follow, he looked over his shoulder, captivating me with his eyes that seemed to glow in the darkness. I felt my right foot step forward, slowly followed by my left foot...left,right,left,right...he smiled as I reached him and we both exited the castle and out onto the grounds.

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the fresh night air. We were facing the lake, the stars were out accompanying the half moon that hung bright in the velvet sky.

"Do you always come out here for no apparent reason?" I decided to break the ice, squinting at his figure which was approaching the lake. Clad in our black school robes, it was hard to see one another clearly at a distance.

"Sometimes," Harry replied and sat down cross-legged just a few inches away from the lake. "The stars are out."

I joined him by the lake awkwardly and sat down on the damp grass. "Beautiful, aren't they?"

He plucked a blade of grass from the earth, twiddling it in his fingers thoughtfully. "Yes, but beauty isn't all there is to it. There's always something more beneath the beauty...look, there's Lily," His voice trailed off as he raised his head towards the heavens.

"Lily?" I asked.

Harry nodded and pointed a finger at the stars, tracing a particular pattern. "Lily." He confirmed.

"I've never heard of a constellation named Lily," I commented as I gazed at the stars Harry had pointed to.

"I know. That's because I named it myself. I'm pretty sure it must have its own name already, but to me, it's Lily." He stated firmly without looking away from the stars.

I needn't question why he named it as Lily. I've read many books on Lily Potter, her Hogwarts years as Lily Evans, up to her final years in life as a caring mother to her enfant child Harry.

I didn't know how to reply, but staying silent seemed rather rude at this point. "That's very...thoughtful of you."

Harry tossed the blade of grass into the lake. "Prongs, Padfoot, and Moony aren't out yet. I wonder what's delaying them." He had a faraway look in his eyes, a look I never saw before. I wasn't sure of what he meant by 'Prongs, Padfoot, and Moony', but I guess it's other people that he held close to his heart.

"So who..I mean..."

"The Marauders," he replied with a small smile. "My father, godfather, and former professor. Dad's gone because of the same reason as mum...Padfoot and Moony? Well...they're gone because of the war just a year ago..."

I bit my lip. "I'm sorry." I said sincerely.

He grunted and shifted his position, our elbows brushed. "What about you Hermione?"

"What about me?"

"Oh, I don't know. Anything," Harry shrugged, tossing a pebble into the lake.

I hugged my knees and stared at the ripples formed on the glassy surface of the water. "My parents are dentists. They're muggles...I've got a baby sister now. Anthea, but grandma finds that too hard to say so she's just Annie to grandma." I glanced at Harry's silhouetted figure. "And...well, I like books."

"I've noticed," He answered.

"You have?"

Harry turned to look at me. "Yeah.."

"Why?"

"You're noticeable," He answered quickly and shifted his glasses lightly. "I like books." He added merely.

I shifted my eyes to my reflection staring back at me on the surface of the lake, peaceful. "Do you study alot? I noticed that you're top of the class with me."

"Me? Study?" He almost laughed, but didn't. Instead he chuckled. "No, I don't study as much as you. I just know things without having to put too much effort into it. Some might say it's unfair but..."

"It's talent," I finished off and he turned to lay those startling eyes at me again. I swallowed and returned to gazing at my own face in the lake.

"I suppose you could call it that," Harry seemed to be getting something out of his robes and a moment later a ball of blue flames erupted from the end of his wand and was hovering a few inches away from us above the water, radiating a soft blue glow and providing warmth. "Lots of things are unfair in this world..."

I glanced at him, "Why do you say that?"

"Just commenting," He replied. "So what books do you read?"

"Everything basically," I smiled. "I've read Hogwarts: A History probably too many times. I also enjoy muggle books though...one of my childhood favourites was Awake and Dreaming, by Kit Pearson...I thought it was...magical. I wasn't a witch then, I was only 9."

"Oh..I like that author too." He mumbled. "I read anything I can get too, espeically during holidays when I have nothing better to do..." A strange look crossed his face, but I couldn't tell if it was anger or grief. "I read about Quidditch alot also."

I nodded in understanding. "I hear you're a great Quidditch player."

He shrugged, "Well, I admit I can play."

"Oh.." Silence.

This was queer. Here I am, sitting beside Harry Potter, under the glow of the eerie moon and the presence of nobody but ourselves and the lake before us...somehow I felt rather calm and almost light headed. It didn't feel wrong, but it didn't feel completely right either, just sitting here with this stranger that no longer felt like a stranger. I felt warm, whether that blue ball of flame was there or not.

"Oh, look," His brilliant green eyes shot upwards again and a grin appeared on his face. "Look," He pointed again.

"Who is it now?" I murmered.

He dropped his hand lightly. "It's Hermione. She doesn't come out often, espeically when there's no full moon." Harry looked at me again. "But when she does appear, she's the brightest of them all. See?"

I looked at the stars in awe. I wasn't really thinking (for once), wasn't really that curious to ask why he named the constellation after me, but I was just staring.

Never have stars held so much meaning, never have they shone so bright.

And never have I had them named after me.

~*~

The stands were hectic, blazing with scarlet and green, cheers from the crowd, and the weather was perfect. Perfect for the first Quidditch match of the season. No storm cloud in sight, surely no drop of rain would make its way upon the heads of the Quidditch players today.

I sat excitedly on my seat, Colin Creevey cheering loudly beside me as Ron zipped by us with his signature grin plastered on his freckled face. The teams were making their laps around the field before the captains shook hands on the sound of the whistle blowing from Madame Hooch.

I instantly heard the loud squeals of delight from Lavender and Parvati as Harry zoomed by close to the Gryffindor stands. Did he just smile at me? No...of course not. But maybe, just maybe he did. Yet I finally had to agree with my two roommates on something. Harry was awfully charming on a broom, his unruly hair getting more mangled from the wind whipping in his face and an almost visible smile on his usually expressionless face.

I sighed, while Colin excitedly pointed out to me with his camera raised. "Ooooh it's starting!"

At once I realized that the speed they had been flying at perviously was not considered fast at all. This was fast. Now the fourteen players were all just dots of scarlet and green to my eyes as they played at an amazing speed across the field. Passing the Quaffle to and fro and finally..

"10-0 GRYFFINDOR!" Liam Markus announced. I had heard comments on how the former Quiddtich commentator, Lee Jordan, had been one of the best. But Liam followed up to his task, so he stayed.

I waved my little red flag in the air enthusiastically as I watched Ginny put on a burst of speed on her broom to catch the Quaffle that another player had tossed in her direction. Ginny was good on a broom, much like her brother who was doing his job as Keeper excellently. I was on the edge of my seat as the Quaffle came pelting towards Ron's direction but in a blink of eye he had blocked it. Yes!

The game went on for quite a while like this, with no team scoring and no Seekers spotting the Snitch yet. Seamus was Gryffinder Seeker, and at the moment he was flying above the stands and goal posts looking much like a person on the crow's nest of a ship. My eyes lingered towards Harry who was doing something similiar to Seamus, minus the anxious expression though.

"10-10! It's a tie right now! Let's just hope that...OH MAN! That was a close one with that Bludger! Almost hitting our player Dean Thomas on the head. Damn those Slytherins.."

I watched as Professor McGonagall scolded Liam for the use of explicit language and he instantly went back to commenting on how the weather was not a problem for today's match. I laughed when suddenly I noticed the crowds were awfully silent now...I quickly averted my gaze back towards the field to see Harry and Seamus zooming towards the bottom of the Slytherin's goal posts.

I squinted and with the help of the sunlight I instantly spotted the glittering Snitch fluttering about. Harry's expression was now full of determination, and Seamus was a bit of that and a bit of...worry on his face? Now I wasn't so sure what to think...did I want Harry to get the Snitch, or Seamus? Well...strange, but I wouldn't mind if Harry was the one to get the Snitch. Oh Hermione! What are you saying now? Cheering for the apposing team now are we?

But I had no more time to think about my own opinions because there were great gasps of shock and boos coming from both sides of the field. Gryffindors were wincing, and Slytherins were scowling. Harry and Seamus had both dived down, Harry attempting one of those Wonky Fetties or whatchamacallits, while Seamus had dived down at the same time- and hitting each other square in the head as they collided in mid-air just a few seconds away from the twittering Golden Snitch.

"YES! That was the perfect picture!" Colin declared as I heard a clicking of his camera.

I frowned and wondered if they were alright. Seamus seemed dazed while Harry was already trying to relocate the Snitch without delay. Meanwhile Ginny was trying to get past Millicent Bulstrode who was doing a good job trying to block her from passing the Quaffle to Dean. In an instant the Gryffindor stands were erupting into cheers of triumpth as Dean made a clean shot into one of the Slytherin goal posts, causing the Slytherins to shoot daggers at us through their menacing eyes. This game was sure fast paced.

"Oh my god!" A squeal from Lavender was heard above the cheering and everyone fell silent as they followed her gaze towards Harry who seemed to be flying...towards the sky? What in the world?

The hair that usually fell in front of his eyes were no longer plastered to his forehead, but blowing wildly around him as he headed upwards in an almost straight line. Then all at once, when we thought he would start burning up due to the earth's gravitational pull and all that, he suddenly dropped downwards with a glint in his eyes. We all held our breaths.

Seamus didn't seem to have a clue at what Harry was doing, except when Harry was inches away from the ground he noticed that Harry had been chasing the Snitch all along. And now, without a second to spare, Harry had reached out with his left hand and laced his fingers around the Golden Snitch.

The Gryffindors just stared, while the Slytherins lept from their seats in joy. I wasn't really sure what to feel. I wasn't sad, and I wasn't overjoyed like the Slytherins. I was muddled up and I suppose...I was almost happy. Happy for the Slytherins? Er..no. Maybe happy for Harry. Yeah.

"Hi, Hermione," a voice interupted my thoughts so that it took me a few seconds to realize that a person was hovering a few feet away from me. I met those familiar green eyes that I was so use to gazing at now.

"Hi.." I took in everything...the sweat that had formed on his face, his slightly damp hair, his flushed cheeks...clad in his green Quidditch robes. I didn't think I had ever seen him so...real. So open, so revealed and away from those hideous shadows...

"Want to come for a short ride?" He had his hand oustretched towards me.

I blinked twice. I was hullicinating now. "Pardon?"

He had a slight grin on his face. "I asked, want to come for a ride? A short one since we have to get back inside anyways..." Harry looked at me, waiting for my answer.

Flying was not my thing. Like sports and make-up was not my thing either. I was afraid of heights, and I would have to be in some serious danger to force me onto a broom. But here was Harry, offering me a ride...with him. Oh bother, this was a rather hard choice. I could either risk my own death or just..have a great time that would probably last in my memories forever. Well...

"Sure!" I blurted out and stood up as stiff as a rock. He smiled as I layed my hand in his outstretched palm and felt his moist hands enclose on mine, as if he was lacing his fingers around the Snitch all over again. But no, this was just my hand. And he easily lifted me onto the broom, positioning me behind him.

"Here," he brought my hands onto his waist and I automatically gripped his robes tightly as he turned the broom.

"Oh dear, we won't go too high, right?" I buried my face into his back, scared to look down or up. He laughed as he looked over his shoulder and stared down at my wide eyes. "Relax, you trust me don't you?"

Trust you? How can I trust you right now? All of a sudden? But I suppose...I just nodded. He smiled, "I won't let you fall." His eyes were steady, his face was serene and calm. The uneasiness in my body suddenly washed away...as if he was the wind and had blown away all my worries with a simple blow.

I sighed, and smiled wider. "Ok, I trust you."

4. Predictable or Not

AN: Blah, I have no clue why this chapter was so hard to write for me. Writer's block? Or perhaps I'm getting the flu. Argh, oh well, I re-wrote the beginning of this chapter a bunch of times Hope you like it =) And thank you everyone for the wonderful support =)

Disclaimer: Pitiful, I own nothing of the HP world. Pitiful.

Mesmerized Drowning
Chapter Four: Predictable or Not

The first week into October- horror. Hogwarts has been an pleasant experience- until now. How long has it been? Already a couple days after that 'Quidditch ordeal', or so I have come to call it. No, eversince that day, sheer horror has befallen me. Great.

I held tightly onto my bag, afraid that I was going to trip over another person's foot and topple over onto the cold stone floor. I can hear the laugher ringing in my ears, god. And I thought people here were civilized. Apparently not when it came to their so called 'revenge on the girl who touched dream boy, Harry Potter'. Yep, apparently I wasn't so popular at the moment. Eversince L&P spread the news like wild fire to those that did not see me on a broomstick with him.

"Hermione! Look!"

I groaned as Colin Creevey flashed a nice glossy photo in my face. It was of me and Harry, the wind whipping in our faces with me burying my face into his back. Oh great.

I rudely snatched the photo from the excited boy and pocketed it without another word. "Will I get that back?!" I heard him call after me, but I didn't bother replying. It would just bring more unneeded attention upon myself.

Today was just another day. The same as any other day since the Quidditch ordeal. Number of broken ink bottles total to three. Number of scowls sent my way total to fifty for the day. Number of falls, five. I think I broke a record. Oooh...one whole hour since I heard the last insult thrown my way..

"Hey Granger, look what I've got!" It was Millicent Bulstrode with her square face and jaw standing over me with that horrible sneer on her face. I stepped back and noticed a flashy button of some sort pinned onto her robes. She pushed one pudgy finger on it and the blank button flashed again. "I nominate Hermione Granger for best whore of the season." flashed in bright red across the button before going blank again. I groaned.

"Lovely," I muttered.

"I know!" She replied rather proudly and tossed one at me. "Want one?" And she strutted off with a dozen other Slytherin girls tagging along with her, all flashing their buttons proudly at me before turning haughtily away.

I tossed my button at the wall -hard- and it broke in two. Good riddance.

I had a spare period now until my next class; Arithmancy. I suppose I had better hide somewhere to risk tripping and more broken quills and ink bottles. This was ridiculous. Childish behavior. At least the male part of the population of Hogwarts left me in peace. Well, some. Now I only had one goal in mind; to reach the library safely in one piece.

As I turned the corner into the familiar hallway leading to the library, I noticed that no one was in sight. Thank god. Finally some peace and quiet and no one around me ready to pounce. I let out a breath of relief as I approached the inviting library doors...

"HERMIONE!"

I tripped over my heel, stumbled forwards a few steps, dropped my books, and winced as I heard approaching footsteps on the stone floor. Nevermind about the peace and quiet. Dang.

"Hey Hermione!"

I looked over my shoulder relunctantly and groaned. "Hello Padma," I greeted rather pleasantly, "I'm sorry I can't stay and chat, but I've got to.."

"Oh, I just need a minute!" Parvati's twin squealed and clutched onto my arm as if I was going to break into a run, which I very much wanted to do. Yet I realized she wasn't wearing one of those buttons, much to my relief.

"Fine, a minute," I sighed in defeat.

Padma clapped her hands together in delight. "Don't worry, I won't tell Parvati or Lav!"

"Tell what?"

"Oh you know...that you really are going out with you-know-who!" Padma exclaimed, leaning on one foot to another.

I rolled my eyes and flung my hands in the air in exasperation. "No, ok? I'm not going out with Harry Potter. Got that?" Padma opened her mouth but I glared at her. "Zip."

She stared at me and I managed a smile. "One minute is up, good-bye." I picked up my books hurridly and escaped through the library doors.

Its been almost an entire week since the Quidditch ordeal but no one seemed to understand the meaning of "No, he's not my boyfriend" or "It was just a friendly offer". Oooh, if one more person asks me about it, I'm sorry if I seriously hurt something.

Yet strangely...Harry and Hermione. That doesn't sound too bad eh? Goodness, see! I'm getting absurd thoughts because of everyone around me..oh, but did that ride mean anything at all? I'll admit...it felt like pure bliss, the warm sun on our faces and the cool breeze making our cheeks flush...he didn't fly too high, or too fast...it was just...perfect.

Perfect. Great, now I'm even using L&P's description of Harry. No, no one's perfect. Ok, so Harry's an extremely excellent flier, charming, smart...and his flaws...er...he's too mysterious! Yeah, but I like that.

I slammed The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 7 shut. It was nearly impossible to concentrate wihle my pesky little thoughts invaded my brain. Oh no! What am I to do? Bang my head against the table and try to knock these 'Harry thoughts' out of my mind?

Oooh....and then there was that constellation he named after me. Oh god, am I giggling?! Ugh, I'm acting like I have no control over my thoughts! Or like I've never experienced feelings like these..I've had relationships. Short ones though. My total is two, and the longest was a month.

"Argh! What am I thinking?!"

A sixth year Ravenclaw shuffled her seat away. I sighed in pure frustration.

"Why so blue?"

I stuck my head back into my textbook. "If you're here to ask me about the whole Harry thing, the answer is no. No as in opposite of yes. No as in N-O. Understood?" I practically yelled.

Whoever it was merely chuckled. "Is there a chance of that no changing into a yes? Yes as in opposite of no. Yes as in Y-E-S?"

My brow furrowed. "Don't copy my lines." I muttered, still behind my book.

There was a moment of silence before the person seemed to clear their throat. "Will you, Hermione Granger?"

If I had been in this situation before the whole Quidditch thing, I might've laughed. Laughed at how much it sounded like a wedding propsal. But since I knew what this person was asking for, it was not funny at the very least.

"Yes, I will tell you. Didn't I tell you already? Harry and I are not in a rela.."

I felt the person pull back my book so that I could no longer use it as shelter, but now I could clearly see the emerald green of his eyes.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

~*~

Hmmm...Hermione Potter. That sounds kind of strange...Hermione Granger Potter. Yech, even worst! Hermione Anne Potter...well, that's alright I suppose.

"Miss Granger."

Hmmm..

"Miss Granger!"

Hermione Anne Granger Potter...oooh, that's just silly...

"Hermione Granger!!" The severe voice of Professor Vector broke into my mind.

I glanced up hurridly. "Yes?"

"Please pay attention. You normally don't space out like this Miss Granger. May I ask if something is the matter?"

I shook my head no. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just...kind of tired..."

The bell rang and Professor Vector gave me one last sweeping glance before turning away.

I rubbed my temples and quickly packed my bag, feeling utterly foolish. How could I have spaced out on such an important lesson?

I was so preoccupied with my own thoughts I walked straight into something soft and familiar smelling; fresh grass and air.

"Er, hello Hermione."

I glanced up quickly and blushed. "Oh, sorry! I kind of spaced out...again." I sighed. "What are you doing here, Harry?"

He stuffed his hands into his pockets, a habit of his that I noticed instantly. "To escort you to your next class of course."

I turned crimson and glanced at all the people observing us with great interest. "You don't have to."

"Well it's on my way. It's double potions, Gryffindor and Slytherin," he reminded me as he grasped my right hand, tugging me gently towards the stream of students getting to their next classes.

I nodded as I let him lead the way towards the dungeons. That was when I realized...L&P were going to be in my next class...and then they would see Harry and I walking into Snape's classroom hand in hand..

I untangled our fingers, causing Harry to look over his shoulder curiously. "What's wrong 'Mione?"

'Mione..how adorable. "Well...um.."

He captured me with his gaze, an understanding look flashed across his eyes. "I see." He nodded.

I watched as he disappeared into the mob of bustling students and frowned. I hope he didn't take it the wrong way..I mean, we weren't really together. I didn't exactly answer his question.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

My heart had skipped a beat. "Pardon?"

"Will you...be my girlfriend?" He had repeated, yet not as sure.

I had stared at him, and stared, examining his infamous scar as I stared. And I didn't know what to say even when Draco Malfoy appeared and swept Harry off with him. He had glanced at me, as if trying to read my mind, and he smiled.

And now, it seemed like he took my silence as a yes. Or at least he seemed to think I did not mind his question, which in actual fact, I didn't mind. Perhaps I should consult my two roommates for advice.

"Miss Potter," Lavender practically sneered coldly as she brushed by me.

I sighed. Everyone in Gryffindor seemed rather mad at me for being around a Slytherin. Seamus had shook his head and sighed, "I guess you are part of the Harry Potter fanclub. Wishful dreaming thinking that a girl wouldn't be..." As for the females of Gryffindor...they all just glared while some looked at me in awe. In fact the whole school acted in this annoying manner.

Parvati had gotten over the jealous stage and started acting like Padma, much to Lavender's disappointment who seemed ready to bite my head off. Guess I coudn't ask those two for advice...

Oh this is rather mind-racking. I do want to be with Harry, but wouldn't that upset the whole female population even more? What am I suppose to do now?

Potions class was the usual. I paired up with Neville who seemed to be the only one that didn't seem bothered by the Quidditch ordeal.

"Uh, Hermione, why is our potion orange?"

"It's suppose to be orange," I couldn't keep the impatience from my voice.

"Oh."

I rolled up my sleeves as I dropped some asphodel into the bubbling cauldron. It turned green.

"Uh...why is it green now?"

"I added something wrong," I snapped just as Snape stepped by with his usual sneer.

"Miss Granger. You have added something incorrectly."

"I realized that," I replied, hating the satisfied look on his face.

"Five points will be taken from Gryffindor for your carelessness." I could tell he had been longing to do that eversince September. I frowned in frustration and I noticed that most of the Gryffindors were eyeing me curiously. "Everyone makes mistakes now and then," I muttered, loud enough for them to hear.

Neville fidgeted with a pile of spider legs waiting to be crushed. "Er...Hermione..."

"What?"

"It's ok," he uttered shakily, "you're still the best witch I've ever met."

My frustration melted, only to be replaced with nagging guilt. "Oh Neville, I'm sorry for being so snappish.."

He grinned rather stupidly, "I might be really slow but I can tell something's bugging you..."

I plastered a fake smile on my face. "Yeah...just stress."

And the lesson went on with making hair lengthening potions and testing them on your partner. At the end of the lesson I left the classroom with wavy brown hair down to my ankles.

"Wait up 'Mione."

Him. I stopped in my tracks and spun around, whipping anyone close by with my mass of hair. I pitied Rapunzel.

"If you're asking me for an answer, I'll give one to you by tomorrow morning."

Harry looked clearly amused, his hair had returned to its normal length. Lucky him. "No, take as long as you need."

My shoulders sagged. I didn't know whether to tell him everything that had gone through my head or just put up another act. I still found it hard to believe that he had asked me what he had asked me..

"Are you sure?" I suddenly asked. "I mean, it's me. And then there's you."

"So?" His expression showed confusion.

"Well, I'm just, me." I breathed, feeling like I had just run a lap around the lake. "And you're him! Every girl is dieing to be with you! They all....melt under your gaze! It's not like I'm Miss Popular, or I've been your number one fan and you pity me."

He grinned, grasping my hand once again and leading me off without a word of explantion. "Now what?"

But knowing him, he didn't answer. We walked up spiraling staircases where stone walls were on either side of us and the only direction evident was up. We were going up, a tower, not Gryffindor Tower though. And just as sudden as we had started, we stopped.

On a balcony. We were on a balcony, overlooking the lake, the Forbidden Forest and the moutains beyond. I held in a breath of amazement. He just knows how to amaze a girl doesn't he? "Why are we up here?" I breathed lightly.

"I find it easier to think here, we're up on the South Tower. I don't think many people know of this place since the entrance to it is so hidden," He leaned on the stone railing that surrounded us. "Just you and nature."

I watched the sky; slowly the clouds began to move, the wind blew lightly, and everything seemed right. I sighed, perhaps I was better off telling someone my troubles. Neville would never understand, and Harry...well..my problems centered around him, and to ask him for guidance...well, I suppose I could. "I don't know."

"What don't you know?"

I joined him by the railing, him looking down at the grass below and me just gazing off. "It's hard...for me to decide. It might've been easier if.."

"If the whole school weren't being such a pain in the arse?"

I nodded, "Exactly. It's like they can't accept the fact that a girl is around you..."

"I noticed," He reached into his pocket and brought out..a button. I groaned inwardly as he held it in his palm. "It's rather amusing actually. Watching their reactions." He tossed the button over the railing.

I frowned, "Amusing? Easy for you to say. They're not all flashing insulting buttons at you and tripping you in the corridors or anything of that sort." I didn't know why, but I was fuming and something suddenly...clicked. "So that's why isn't it? That's why you're being so nice to me...pretending that you're interested in me. To watch other people's reaction. Or should I say, get the girls jealous?" I turned to him, and noticed he had a rather strange glint in his eyes as he slowly turned to look at me too.

He didn't reply, making me even more enraged. What was he thinking?! Ha, and he thought I was easy to fool...no, I'm not like Lavender, or Pavati, or any other foolish female in this school. And yet...I was still fooled. Even if it was only for a moment. A day. Fooled in thinking he had meant every word he had fed me. Thinking that...he would actually take interest in me.

"And I thought you might've been different," I murmered. "But you are an arrogant bastard! Pretending to be all...all... cool." I suddenly wanted to smack myself. Cool. Goodness, I sounded very much like a child.

"Get the girls jealous?" He repeated, staring at me with an unreadable expression. He looked eerie then. With his black robes whipping around him from the wind that had suddenly picked up. His eyes so ever greener than usual, his hands just hanging limply at his sides. "Why would I want to get the girls jealous? Why?" He brought his left hand up abruptly- tilting my chin towards him. I could feel his warm breath, sending shivers down my spine. Forcing me to look him in the eye, and somehow it hurt. As if I was trying to look straight into the sun.

"You don't know what you're saying," He let go, turning away from me to look at the forest. "You're confused. You're lost. You're angry. Let it out."

I blinked.

"It helps..when you let your anger out."

I looked away, suddenly feeling like a child, foolish...ashamed. Why did I rant about like an idiot? Oh, for goodness sake's...even me, who didn't know Harry that well, could tell he wasn't like that. Wasn't a person that would want to get the girls jealous..or swooning after him. He didn't need to do that. He...already had them spellbound. I bit my lip, "Sorry."

"You shouldn't apologize for letting out your anger," He said calmly. "I understand."

"...It's just, everyone's being so selfish..." I stuttered, not really knowing where I was getting to. "They're all making such a big deal, over such a small matter..."

"That's why women are frightening."

I raised an eyebrow. "Frightening?"

"Yes. They lash out at each other because of that pesky little thing called jealousy," Harry now had a smirk on his face, still looking afar. "You could be the most mature person on the face of earth, and yet still, jealousy brings the childish behavior out of everyone, doesn't it?"

I pulled my robes closer together as the wind whipped up at my face. "Oh stop being so wise," I felt frustration corse through me, we were getting no where. "It isn't helping."

"What are you feeling then?" He asked.

"Frustrated, angry, stupid.." I listed off without another thought.

"No...I meant, really."

"Really?" I quirked an eyebrow at him. "I'm confused." I confessed. "It's one of those few times for me where I can't find the answer in some book...I can't just look on pg. 245 and expect to find the right answer...."

"Go on."

"No, it's embarrasing," I flushed.

He laughed, a short brief laugh. "That's ok. Just pretend I'm the wall and you're here alone."

I looked away from his composed figure, and looked straight at the wall to my right. "I...I like the idea of being your girlfriend." I spoke to the wall. The real wall. "But there's a part of me that doesn't want to. Because I know what will happen. I've already seen the reaction of everyone when I went on a simple broom ride with you. They're ready to kill." I chuckled. "And if I were to become more than a friend to you...I don't know what chaos that would cause. Perhaps I would be dead by the next morning."

I exhaled, examing every inch on the stone wall, its crevices and the spider webs that had been weaved in-between the cracks of the stone. "This is about you, Hermione." His voice rung in my ears.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I was turning around to face him. He was taller than me..by a head. I don't think I've ever come this close to him, other than the time I was gripping onto him wihle on his Firebolt. "This is about you," He repeated softly, "and what you want."

I furrowed my brow, knowing very well he was right...in a way. But oh so very wrong in another way...if only he knew what it felt like. "I know what it feels like," He added, making me wonder if he could read minds. He certainly seemed the type to do so. "But if you think about it, it's kind of funny."

"How is this funny?" I rolled my eyes.

"Because although I might be the guy that the females are all dieing for, in your words, none of them have asked me out," He chuckled.

"Really?"

"I think you would've known that," He ran one hand through his unruly ebony hair, revealing his scar once again. "I mean, they're all scared. Just like you."

"I'm not scared."

Harry smirked, "Really?"

"Why would I be?" I said rather stubbornly.

"You're scared of everyone's reaction. You're scared that they're all going to turn on you and hate you because you have something they don't," He voiced my thoughts. He was one scary person..

I raised my head, wanting to feel taller and feeling rather small standing so close to him. "Fine. I am scared." I kept my voice steady. "Since you're so smart and all psychic, what do you think my answer's going to be?" I challenged.

Harry Potter smiled, that knowing look on his face again. "Well, you're going to say...yes."

"...Why do you say that?"

"Because, you're Hermione Granger." He said lightly and fingered a lock of my hair gently in his fingers. "And you like to be different...unpredictable...adventurous. That's the real Hermione Granger."

Perhaps I was dreaming, but I didn't really care. So here I was, standing on a balcony with Harry Potter, telling me who I am, and what I'm like, and reading me like an open book.

"I guess I'm not so unpredictable to you then?"

AN: Ugh, this chapter was slightly shorter than the rest. Sorry, but this chapter is kind of like those...transition chapters. If you know what I mean. I needed to stick 'em together by now, and I had to find a good way to do so. Argh, very mind racking. Oh well, this chapter is done and if you understand the gibberish I wrote, then you would've gotten the basic point- they're a couple now, cheers =) Sadly I am not very happy with this chapter, but that's ok =) Life goes on~ Cheers =)

5. Accepting Reality

Disclaimer: Pitiful, I own nothing of the HP world. Pitiful.

Mesmerized Drowning
Chapter Five: Accepting Reality

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes...just be an illusion.

My life at Hogwarts as a carefree determined student was near its end, though at that time I never could have thought so. Now as I reflect on the days I had with him, they were so close to...perfection. I began to doubt the belief that perfection was not possible. People said our relationship was a living example. I believed it.

And now...it's all just the unforgetable past. The past I still hold on to, the memories I wish to keep with me- except those memories. Those memories wake me in my sleep. Those memories will never leave, never stop taunting me.

But no one is to blame.

Not even him.

Just...fate.

Nothing can be changed once it happens. You just have to wake up and hope everything's going to be OK.

That's what I have to do now. Wake up. But it's hard when waking up means accepting reality. That perahps the person you fell in love with would bring you your worst nightmares.

Sometimes the best way to forget is to relive those memories. Understand and accept them.

That's why you're here now, to listen to my story. How I was mesmerized by love's spell and drowned by love's intesity. Help me wake up.

~*~

The next week was blurry, passing so quickly that I was utterly dazed. The October air smelled of smoke and leaves, crisp, alive, and filled with excitement. Every time I took a sniff of it, my heart would flutter as it reminded me of his scent after a Quidditch practice.

I had become Harry Potter's girlfriend. First girlfriend to be exact. For seven days now, and I don't regret. In my eyes, no longer is he the mysterious boy-who-lived, but my boyfriend. Sometimes I have to stop walking and pinch myself. Nope, not a dream. This was real. We were real.

As for everybody else...they thought we were a joke. All the Gryffindors stared as we made our first public appearance together hand in hand upon entering the Great Hall for lunch one afternoon. All the Ravenclaws stared. All the Hufflepuffs and even the Slytherins. The males whistled and cheered, hoping that since Harry Potter was finally taken that the girls would start looking at them. While they cheered, the females sneered. Millicent's buttons were so ever popular that once the whole female population flashed them in unison upon my entrance. But I did not falter, I did not break.

Harry was always there. Catching me when I felt like I would fall. Supporting me when I felt like crumbling. He became my pillar of support and affection. If I was doubtful, he would reassure me.

"Look at them, they hate me," I would suddenly realize when another button flashed before my eyes.

He would squeeze my hand, "It'll be over soon," he'd say soothingly. "Soon their jealousy will fade and they'll look at you in a different light."

That kept me going. Yes, soon they'll all realize how silly they're acting. Soon L&P will start fussing about my hair again. Soon Ginny will come back and tell me of all her latest problems. It was only a matter of time.

So here I am, in the comforting embrace of the library walls. With books and more books aligned on many wooden shelves, surrounding me with knowledge that I was thirsty to gain. And it was then that I learned a bit more about my boyfriend.

"What are you doing 'Mione?"

"I can't seem to find..." I flipped another page of Most Famous Trials of Witch Burning.

"The most famous witch burned during the 14th century?" Harry read off the question from my History of Magic assignment sheet.

I nodded, only half listening as I was determined to find the answer in the book. "It has to be here somewhere..."

"Patricia Rosebury."

I lifted my head, narrowing my eyes ever so slightly. "Pardon?"

"Patricia Rosebury," he repeated, "most famous witch of the 14th century, famous for inventing the Wolfsbane Potion yet sadly burned on the night of July 17th."

I blinked. He shrugged, "If you don't believe me, I do recall it's on page 75 of that book you're holding."

My fingers quickly fumbled through the pages, landing on page 75. I scanned the page, my eyes widening by the second as the words seeped into my brain. "Goodness...you're right!"

Harry didn't seem surprised as he returned to playing with his peacock feathered quill, which he explained he had gotten from Gilderoy Lockhart during the second year.

"How about the 16th century then?" I tested.

He stopped flipping his quill and replied, "Mistress Eliza the IV, whom supposedly was a distant relative of Helga Hufflepuff. Some believed Eliza escaped, which was probably very likely."

I looked at my book and was amazed to see he was correct once again. "Amazing..."

He simply gave me a lop-sided grin as I continued to ask miscellaneous questions out of the blue for an whole hour. And much to my amazement, he knew the answer to each and every single one of them.

Very well then. I had a world famous wizard as a boyfriend, and a genius as a boyfriend too. Splendid.

~*~

The weather was chilly now, the leaves red and yellow, a perfect picture of autumn. Walking on dry leaves, and hearing them crunch under your every step is a rather comforting sound. I tugged my scarf tighter around my neck as I glanced wistfully at Harry who was doing the same thing.

He gave me a small smile and reached his hands towards my scarf, tightening it around my neck for me. "There." He stepped back. "All nice and cozy."

I smiled softly and looked up at the darkening sky, streaked with pink and orange as if someone had spilt a big bucket of multi-coloured paint onto the sky. I breathed out, watching my breath come out in a little puff of smoke. "If only it was snowing, wouldn't it be pretty?"

Harry looked at the sky thoughtfully, and then suddenly crouched down. I tilted my head in confusion. "Harry?"

Before I knew what was happening, Harry popped back up with a handful of leaves in his arms and was tossing it in the air. I gave a yelp of surprise as the leaves rained down on me in flakes of red, orange, and yellow. "What are you doing?"

"Creating snow," Harry replied with a lop-sided grin and threw another bundle of leaves into the air.

I untangled one from my hair and giggled, tossing a bundle in his direction. "You're so silly!"

"Am not," He pouted and tossed another pile right at me.

I fell backwards, landing onto the pile of leaves behind me. My robes and hair caught with dried leaves and dirt, but Harry didn't look any better. I broke into giggles as Harry stood there with a smudge of dirt on his nose and a particulary big leaf stuck right ontop of his head. "What?"

I waved my hand, signaling him to crouch down- and he did so. I plucked the leaf off his head and laughed. "Look at me! I've got leaves stuck in my shoe even! This is going to take a long time to get out..."

Harry simply grinned, "Here, I'll help."

"Thank..." I was cut off as another pile of leaves rained down on me right ontop of my head. I glared at Harry through the raining leaves. "Oooh you're so dead Mr. Potter!!"

He didn't laugh, but stood up and ran in the opposite direction, me following close behind. Of course, he ran much faster than me, but it was still fun to try and catch up with him. Harry slowly realized that I would probably never catch up to him at this rate, and finally slowed down.

I pounced onto his back, bringing leaves and twigs up with me; we both landed on the ground in a heap of robes and leaves. "Owww, I think a twig got stuck in my shoe." Harry complained.

I stuck my tongue out. "Serves you right!" I stood up to brush off my newly decorated robes and blew a tuff of hair away from my face. "You know, I think we better hurry. We're going to miss dinner.."

"That's why we skip the 'cleaning our selves off' part and just go straight to dinner," Harry replied, taking my hand and leading me towards the castle.

"But we can't possibly just go in like this!" I looked at myself from the reflection on the window we were walking by quickly. My hair was in disarray, a couple strands sticking up on end, my robes were wrinkly and leaves were stuck onto me everywhere- in my hair, on my robes, on my tights.

"Why not?" He chuckled and opened the grand doors of the Great Hall.

I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut, but the sudden light from the Great Hall and the number of eyes looking our way made my eyes stay open. I swallowed hard and looked at Harry. He was perfectly calm. "I'll see you later then, 'Mione?" He looked at me with his entracing eyes.

I nodded and he smiled, releasing my hand while striding towards the Slytherin table as if it was ordinary for a student to walk in like a walking pile of leaves. I hastily headed towards Gryffindor table, noticing the many curious looks I was receiving.

"Where did you come from?" Lavender glanced at me from head to toe with a disgusted look on her pretty little face.

I huffed and sat away from her, near Neville who looked curious. "Where did you come from Hermione?"

"Outside," I replied, suddenly feeling awfully hungry.

"Oh." He said bluntly while scooping up a spoonfull of mashed potatoes.

I ran a hand through my jostled hair, untangling the leaves from them and brushing off my robes with my other hand. Neville still looked at me curiously. "You went outside with Harry, didn't you?" He asked, wide-eyed.

I stopped cleaning myself off and looked at him hard. "Yes. Is there something wrong with that?"

Neville shrunk back, "No...no of course not." He dropped his spoon. "Well, actually..."

Perhaps he had finally gotten influenced from the rest of the school and was begining to turn on me too. I sighed, placing my hands on my lap and ready to listen to what Neville was going to say.

"Well, it's not wrong that you're hanging out with him," Neville almost seemed frightened, "but it's just...don't you care?"

"About?"

Neville glanced around him and finally placed his eyes on me. "You know...about what other people think. I mean, it's almost like...you two are together."

I wanted to laugh, but ended up snorting. "We are together."

He fell silent, then glanced feebly up at me. "So it is true? You are together?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes. We've been together for more than a week now."

"Oh."

This was one of the many things I couldn't understand. Why was everyone making such a big deal out of this? Couldn't anyone just mind their own business and life? Or perhaps everyone in this darn school didn't have a life and had to stick their pesky noses into mine...

"Why does everyone care so much about this?" I stabbed my fork into a piece of salad. "I mean, it's not like me being with Harry will effect any of your lives!" I wasn't only talking to Neville now. In fact, I had caught the attention of my whole table which attracted the attention of the other tables.

I didn't care. I had, had enough of their behavior. "So yeah, even after the Quidditch thing, you all are still looking at me as if I was, I don't know! Vermin!" I glanced at Lavender and Parvati particularly. "Even people that I thought were friends..." I shifted my gaze to Ginny now. "They even avoided me. Why? Just because of sheer jealousy?"

Everyone was silent.

"Ok, I know it's just human nature to be jealous, but this is so immature," I continued, my voice steady. "Especially the girls. So it's true- I'm Harry's girlfriend. So what?! It makes you all jealous right? Well, jealousy will get you no where, don't you see? Haven't you realized that all of you are getting no where with your whole 'ignore Hermione Granger' thing? I'm still with Harry." I sucked in a breath.

"All of you," I stated, "being jealous is not working. It's not going to get me sad, or away from Harry, but possibly annoyed. I think the smart thing for all of you to do is just to stop all of this , and stop acting like uncivilized people." I stood up abruptly, causing my fork to clang to the ground. I turned my gaze towards Lavender and Parvati again, who looked like they wanted to crawl under the table and hide. Then I looked towards the Slytherin table, at Millicent Bulstrode who had her mouth agape.

"And just accept reality.." And I left.

~*~

The library was eerily empty, with the window facing the Quidditch pitch which was just a foggy blur through the pelting rain. I hadn't returned to Gryffindor tower yet..I suppose I was in shock at my sudden outburst during dinner. It surprised everyone, and even myself. But I didn't regret it, I was just -shocked-.

Or maybe it was a foolish thing to do. Maybe now everyone even thought worst of me. That I was some crazy lunatic that snapped at everyone...or just Hermione Granger the bookworm. I don't know what they thought...I acted before thinking. Isn't that a bad thing?

I dropped my quill, unable to concentrate on my assignments with so many thoughts running through my head. Oh life was complicated...but I didn't want it to be. I just wanted to get good grades and study for the N.E.W.T.s that were coming up. Well, kind of coming up. To me, they seemed like they were just around the corner.

"...Hermione..."

I rubbed my temples tiredly.

"Hermione?"

I looked over my shoulder, wondering who on earth it would be that was calling my name. It was Ginny Weasley. "Oh...hello Ginny."

She came closer, her red hair seemed even redder in the dim light, and her eyes were wide and clear. She was clutching at her sleeves and looked uneasy, almost as if she were afraid. Why was everyone acting this way anyways? "I..I just wanted to say.."

"...To stay away from Harry?"

She shook her head quickly. "No! No..that's not what I meant.." She sighed. "I wanted to apologize, for my behavior and everyone elses."

I looked at her in shock and amazement. "Apologize? Er.."

"I know, it was a very childish thing to do. Ignoring you, and everything else," She blurted out hurridly. "But I suppose it just...kind of came over all of us. We just..found it hard to swallow that a Gryffindor was with a Slytherin...and especially Harry Potter. I mean, I didn't mind that much...but I suppose I didn't want everyone else to think badly of me, so I followed the flow..." She looked out the window. "I'm sorry."

I blinked, and couldn't help the smile that was spreading on my face. "Apology accepted." I patted the seat next to me. "Let's talk?"

Ginny gave me a small smile before taking the seat, looking slightly nervous but a bit more relaxed. I laughed, "You look like I'm going to pounce on you or something."

"Well, it's just..I'm really sorry!"

I smiled, "It's alright...really. I understand why you did what you did...but, I must've been really odd during dinner..."

"No!" She cried. "You were amazing. Brave too..." She blushed. "It really shook us up, but you got your message through."

"...Ugh, I must be a complete freak," I said through giggles and a frown.

Ginny laughed, "No, I just think everyone's amazed. You should have seen Lav and Parvati afterwards. They were so red...it was really weird."

"Perhaps what I did was a bit too...you know, feisty," I mumbled.

"Oh Hermione! You're a psychic!"

I quirked an eyebrow at her, "What?"

"Seamus and Dean were running around changing those buttons Millicent made," Ginny said through giggles while I groaned, knowing this wasn't going to be good. "So now they say 'Hermione Granger, feisty nerd'." She finally broke into laughter and I groaned again.

"Oh this is so embarrassing," I slumped in my seat, glaring at my blank piece of parchment.

Ginny squeezed my hand, "But it's a good thing! At least those buttons don't say what they use to say, right?"

"...I suppose," I agreed relunctantly. "But still! Couldn't we just not have any buttons at all?"

"Oh that just wouldn't be any fun," Ginny answered with a chuckle. "So, are you going to sit in this library all day and do nothing or are we going to go up to Gryffindor tower and face the lions?"

"The lions?" I stared.

"Well, I mean everyone else," She stood up. "Shall we?"

I glanced from my empty piece of parchment to the eager look on Ginny's face. Well... "Oh, alright then."

~*~

And supposedly, after I had my sudden departure from dinner that day- Dumbledore made an announcement. On Halloween night, there was to be the traditional Halloween feast, and- A Halloween Dance. Of course, everyone was thrilled, but all the females suddenly realized that it was no longer exciting to predict whom Harry Potter was going to go with. Of course it would be Miss Hermione Granger. I rolled my eyes- at least most of the Gryffindors were on speaking terms with me again.

Lavender was looking at me right now, though she must've thought I hadn't realized. Parvati seemed to take it much easier than her, and acted as if nothing had happened and still made a fuss about my bushy hair.

"I really think you should get it straightened," She suggested. "Then it wouldn't be so hard to deal with!"

I shrugged, "I'm use to it."

I looked over at Lavender who quickly looked away. I sighed, maybe I should try mending things up. "So Lavender, I hear that you've got these really pretty earrings."

She stared at me. "Well...so?"

"I don't know," I answered stupidly, "I mean, they must be really pretty. I hear everyone's really jealous of them."

I could see her eyes lighten up at the sound of that. She pranced over towards her night table and opened the drawer, pulling out a small velvet box. "Well, they are really pretty. See?" She opened the lid and a pair of dangly earrings in the shape of stars came into view.

In fact, they were really pretty. I had heard from Parvati that Lavender had gotten it from her mother through owl post. "Oooh, it is really pretty."

"Well of course it is," Lavender said haughtily and snapped the lid shut. "But since when was Miss Bookworm ever interested in jewelry?"

I frowned, "Since now? I was just saying your earrings were nice."

Lavender didn't reply but she hurridly opened her drawer again and dropped the earrings inside, slamming the drawer shut again. I looked at her, slightly amused. "Slow down! It's not like I'm going to steal them.."

She shot her eyes at me. "Or maybe you are thinking of stealing them! Just like how you stole Harry!"

"Stole?" I repeated.

Lavender crossed her arms and looked at Parvati for support. "Right Parvati? I bet she used some...some potion to make Harry fall for her! I mean, out of everyone, why Hermione Granger?!" She fumed.

Parvati opened her jaw and shut it again as she looked from Lavender to me. "Well..you know, Lav, don't take this personally, but Harry never belonged to any of us."

I was surprised that Parvati had not been Lavender's echo. They were usually so...in tune with each other that it was scary. This must've been the first time that I had seen Parvati and Lavender on opposite sides of a story.

"Ok, so what!" Lavender spat. "But she did just prance into our lives and snatch him away! It's...it's not right!"

Parvati stared at her, "Lavender, you're speaking nonsense."

"Well I don't care!" She flopped onto her bed and shot daggers at me through her narrowed eyes. I sighed, maybe Lavender's feelings towards Harry weren't as..shallow as I thought they were.

I walked towards her bed, and asked, "Do you really like him?"

She looked at me through narrowed eyes again, she looked ready to cry. "Maybe yes, maybe no."

"Well..whatever your answer is, I'm sorry ok?" I uttered, suddenly feeling sorry for the girl. "Maybe you do really like him, but I'm sorry, I do too. I hope you can accept it, and we can just be like how we use to be. And if you can't, then...I guess you'll just need time."

Lavender sniffled, not looking at me anymore but at her bedsheets. I stepped back, feeling that I had done my job. "Will she be OK?"

Parvati nodded, "Maybe you should just leave for a second...let her have some space."

I nodded, grabbing my book bag and one quick look at the mirror before stepping out of the room. I forced a smile onto my face before proceeding down the stairs..I didn't know why, but I felt tired. Tired of having to put up with what everyone thought of me, tired of trying to...get everyone to understand me. Maybe I wasn't meant to be understood..or maybe I was only meant to be understood by Harry.

Harry...I felt like seeing him now. He was the only one who didn't expect anything from me, or expect me to act in anyway. He just expected me to be by his side..Harry.

I walked out of the portait hole numbly, not realizing that I wasn't alone.

"Hello 'Mione."

My eyes darted towards the source of the sound, meeting those familiar green gems. I felt happiness wash over me as I almost ran towards him in joy. "Harry.."

Yet he didn't let me finish as he drew me into his embrace. His embrace, always fresh and warm. In his embrace, everything was alright, everything was good. Nothing was wrong. In his embrace, it was OK to be yourself, it was alright to release your emotions.

In his embrace, it was alright if time stopped.

6. Only You

AN: Hmmm some of you have been asking "What's with the beginning of Ch.5??". Well, it's very obvious foreshadowing that I didn't even bother concealing. Hehehe, that is all I will say. Enjoy! By the way, sorry for the slow updates because real life has been busy and April is just a busy month for me =P

Disclaimer: Pitiful, I own nothing of the HP world. Pitiful.

Mesmerized Drowning
Chapter Six: Only You

How long has it been now? Two weeks? Yes, two weeks of perfection with him and I sitting under the naked trees with crunchy red and orange leaves around us. Everyday was fine, as long as he was there. Even if I happened to get in trouble with Snape, as long as I saw him, it was fine. Even if a million or a trillion of Millicent's buttons were flashed in my face, it wouldn't matter, as long as I saw him.

This may sound corny, but to me, he was like my breath of life everyday. You could say, I was hopelessly in love now. Yes, it is rather pitiful, but that's alright, I love him. Never have I felt this way before. It was never this magical, never this surreal.

And yet as deep as we were, he was still a mystery to me.

His eyes, how many times have I looked into them? Uncountable amount of times...and yet everytime I look into them, they always hold something different. A new meaning, a new emotion. And I'd have to figure it out all over again.

He was still Harry Potter though. And now, I've realized that I only know him, as my boyfriend. I've also realized, that it's only me that runs to him with my pain and sorrows. He has never run into my arms, and asked "'Mione, what should I do now? I don't know what to do." As close as I feel with him, even when I'm in the warmth of his embrace, there's still something there.

Something there, blocking me from him.

It's almost like I can only get to one side of him, the outer side of him, while I yearn to know what is inside. He hardly tells me what he feels, if he's happy, or sad. But when he's with me, I like to think that he is happy. And yet I've realized...I can't be too sure about that. Perhaps his smiles are not real, perhaps his blank looks meant something; but I didn't know, I couldn't tell.

Because he wouldn't open up to me.

Sometimes, I think he is opening up to me. Letting the walls crumble around him. But afterwards, I realize that's not it. It was just a fake. It was like he just opened a window for me, to satisfy my yearn of wanting to know him.

The Harry I knew was sweet, caring, a person that listened to me when I wanted to spill my heart out. The person that made everything alright with just a simple kiss on the forehead. But I realized, he knew me. But did I know him?

He knew me. The me that had worries, frustrations. The me that was happy, wanting a bright future. He knew all sides of my story, he knew me because I let him know me. I opened my doors for him, for him to peer in and read me like a book. But he did not. He was still that mysterious boy, even if he was not cloaked in the shadows.

He was still distant in the strangest ways.

He was still something to be discovered.

And I really want to know him.

"There you are, 'Mione. I've been looking for you."

I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. I could feel him. Could feel his presence, and if he stepped into a room with a million people in it, I would still know it was him. "Hello, Harry."

I felt his smooth fingers lace into my wavy hair. His fingers were long, and smooth, perfect Seeker hands. I could feel him shuffling behind me, as he turned my chair around to face him. He smiled lightly, planting a feather light kiss on my nose. "Tomorrow's the Halloween Dance."

"I know," I spoke in a whisper, I didn't know why. Perhaps I was scared that if I spoke too loudly, I would shatter this moment, this specific piece of time.

"I noticed that I haven't asked you formally yet," He said sheepishly, "to go to the dance with me."

The look on his face showed worry, insecurity. That expression was often on his face, but I couldn't understand why. "You don't need to ask."

"Oh, but I do," Harry squeezed my right hand gently. "Just for reassurance. Will you go to the dance with me, Hermione Granger?"

I coudn't conceal my giggles as I nodded, "Of course, you silly child."

"I'm not a child," He muttered.

I laughed as he pouted playfully. These were the times that I felt were what you could call bliss. It was also the times that I felt close with him. The times that I felt I could possibly open the doors to him and look inside.

"Harry..." I began softly.

He looked at me as he crouched down to be eye level with my sitting form. "Hmm?"

"...Let's talk," I suggested casually.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Don't we always?"

I blinked, and suddenly he almost looked scared. "You...is it something bad?" He mumbled.

"No! No...nothing bad," I offered him a reassuring smile as he lifted his gaze to me again. He nodded, "Alright...let's talk."

"I'm Hermione Granger," I blurted out without a thought.

Harry pulled up a chair form behind and sat down, looking at me curiously. "I know that 'Mione...did you think I would forget your name?" He chuckled.

"Well..." I took a breath. "Who are you?" I questioned steadily, never looking away from his eyes that I coudn't read at the moment.

He shuffled his feet around, sinking into the cushioned chair. "I'm....Harry. Harry Potter."

I smiled gently. "I know that Harry. What I mean is...well, what I meant to say is that..I feel as if, I don't know you all that much afterall."

"...What do you mean?" He asked, his eyes widening ever so slightly.

I swallowed, "You know me, right?" He nodded. "And...that's because I..open up to you. I tell you what I feel, if I'm down or up. I tell you about my family, and I tell you about my life..."

He suddenly stood up, his eyes darting about from my face to a random spot in the library, and finally back to me face- my eyes. It was then that I could clearly see an emotion in his blazing eyes. They were wide, they were shining a bright bright green. They looked...scared? Angry? A mix of emotions but they didn't look positive. I shrunk into my chair, suddenly feeling small under his towering height and his wide open eyes.

"You know me Hermione. You know me," He was saying almost desperately.

I bit my lip, "Harry..."

His hands were suddenly enclosed around mine, his smooth fingers suddenly felt hard and stony, his grip was tight. He stared at me now, his eyes suddenly void of emotion. "Would you want to know me? Do you want to know me?" He was speaking very quickly, it was hard to catch onto his words.

"Harry...I.."

He let go of my hands, I let out a breath. He stumbled back a few steps as I tried to regain myself from shock at his sudden behavior. "If you don't know me...no one does." He said shakily, running his hand nervously through his midnight black hair.

I sucked in a breath, my eyes darting frantically from his scar to his eyes. "I'm sorry.." I didn't know why I was apologizing, perhaps it was just instinct. I didn't mean to make him mad, I didn't want to get him mad. I didn't know this would get him mad. "I'm sorry.." I repeated.

He dropped his hands limply to his sides and crouched down again. He tilted my chin up, and suddenly grasped my face towards his and I felt his soft lips pressing down on mine- hard, desperately, as if he was trying to get something from within me. I gasped, kissing him back but at the same time struggling to breathe.

"Hermione," He said in between breaths.

"Mmm hmm," was all I could muster from the sudden forceful contact that we were still in.

"You...want...to know..me?" He had his fingers interlaced with my hair now, my knees digging into his broad chest.

I didn't know how to reply, and all of a sudden he stopped and stood up abruptly. "You can't." He croaked. "You can't."

"...Why?" I started but he brought his fingers to my lips. I fell silent.

"You can't know me," He said, in a strangely quiet tone. "You can't...because I don't even know."

I looked up at him, brought my hands to the shape of his face, my chest heaving up and down steadily. "It's...ok Harry. Everything's ok...forget it..."

"No," He covered my hands with his. They were shaking. "No. I can't forget. I want to know. I want to know who I am, but I don't know."

"Harry..?" I was scared, this wasn't Harry. Wasn't the Harry I thought I knew. The Harry that was composed, never the one to be scared, never the one to be lost. "No, you do know. You're Harry. I was stupid. I was asking a stupid question, of course I know you. I didn't know what I was saying, please..."

"...I'm Harry Potter. That's all I am," He said it as if it was shameful. "Nothing but Harry Potter."

"...What do you mean? You are Harry Potter, the boy who lived, the boy who saved the wizarding world.."

He pulled away, falling down onto the tiled floor of the library. "Is that how you see me? As Harry Potter?" He looked almost bitter, his eyes narrowed.

I was confused, I couldn't understand the emotions that coursed through his eyes. There were so many- confusion, anger, he was lost? But so was I. I was trying to reach him, but he didn't want to be reached. "When you claim to know me, is it just..Harry Potter that you know?" He asked.

I shook my head, "No. I know you as...Harry. My Harry, the Harry that stuck by my side through everything..."

"Really.." He looked dazed, as if he was swimming out of a trance. "Hermione...Hermione..."

I dropped onto my knees, in the same position as him on the ground. If anyone walked in on us now, it would look rather strange, but that didn't matter. "I'm here...right here."

"I'm sorry Hermione," He looked calm now, his chest was heaving up and down at a steady pace. "I...I didn't know what came over me," He laughed dryly. "I don't know." He shook his head. "I was scared, scared that you didin't know me. You're the only one, you know? That has ever seen me, been with me. This is the most I've ever given anyone...do you know that? You're the only one that I've ever let my guard down upon...no one else. No one else deserves the trust I give you, don't you understand?"

"....I...understand."

"Good..." He stood up slowly, sticking out a hand for me to take. I took it and he helped me up. "And if you want more from me, I'm sorry but I might not be able to do that. Not now.." He almost had that bitter look on him again, but it quickly washed away as he tucked a strand of my lose hair behind my ear, his hand brushing the edges of my ear softly. "Remember that, you're the only one that I trust. I trust you."

"...I.."

"Shh..." He brought his hands behind me back, pressing me gently into him as I brought my hands up around him, falling into his embrace. "Everything's alright..you just didn't know that you were special. Didn't know that you were the only one that deserved my trust..." He sounded as if he were reassuring himself, but I was feeling so tired I couldn't think clearly.

I closed my eyes, breathing in his scent as we pulled back to face each other again. "Smile for me?" He tilted his head.

I lifted my head, felt my lips spread into a small smile as he smiled back. "Thank you 'Mione."

"Why?"

"For smiling for me," He stuck his hands into his pockets. "I like to think...that I'm special to you too. That I'm the one you truly think deserves to see your smile..."

"Oh..." I said breathlessly. "You are special....I save all my smiles for you. Only you." I uttered, suddenly dazed but looking into his eyes told me it was the right thing to say. I think.

He grinned, "Only me, 'Mione?"

"Only you.."

~*~

Eversince that event, I was shocked. I felt shocked. I felt....seperated from myself. I didn't feel like myself, I felt like I wasn't making my own choices, walking my own steps. Even if I'm just sitting infront of the mirror in the washroom, I felt like it wasn't me staring back. I didn't know why, but I just felt...different.

And then there was Harry...always Harry in the back of mind. Every corner I turned, I thought of Harry. I thought of saving all my smiles for my Harry. Harry...even if I didn't get him to open up to me, I felt like what had happened...said alot already. Told me that he was insecure, lost...didn't like who he was? Though I didn't understand why he didn't like being thought of as Harry.

Harry Potter, who wouldn't die to be in his shoes? He was famous, he was loved by the wizarding world, yet he was bitter towards that. Why? I didn't know why, but I knew I had to be there for him, to help him smile, to help him find...himself. The person he wanted to be.

So here I sat, infront of the mirror of the Gryffindor girl's washroom, staring lazily into my reflection. The dance was tonight, everyone was running about with dress robes screwn about on the floor and squeals of delight from every room. Yet here I sat, with my school robes still on and a brush in my hand.

There was a knock at the door. "Hermione? Are you still in there?"

"Mm hmm," I replied, running the brush through my tangled hair.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure."

It was Lavender, much to my surprise I had thought the voice belonged to Parvati. I sighed, I was not in the mood to bicker. "Oh, Lavender, what is it now?"

She looked nervously at me from the mirror, and I noticed that she had already changed into pretty turquoise robes with matching earrings that dangled around her ears. Her shiny blonde hair was piled up on her head in a messy bun which gave her an elegant touch. "You look very pretty," I commented, although we still weren't on good terms with each other.

"You do too," she answered.

I laughed, "I haven't changed yet!"

"That's alright," she came closer, her heels clicking. "Need some help?"

I looked at her, surprised. She smiled, her lips a rosy red, "I've been acting very silly for the past few weeks. I'm sorry Hermione, I didn't take it very maturely as I should have."

My lips parted in shock, yet they closed when I couldn't find the right words to say. Lavender simply took the brush out of my hands and ran it through my hair. "So, what are you going to wear?"

I smiled, "I don't know. That's the problem, I'm really messed aren't I?"

She giggled, that familiar Lavender giggle. "Oh, I'm sure we could use some magic," She winked.

I quirked an eyebrow at her as she laughed, "We wouldn't want to disappoint Mr. Potter, would we?"

I laughed along with her, watching as she pulled out her wand. "We're going to make you the prettiest little witch of the night!"

"We?"

"Yes, we!" Parvati appeared behind Lavender, closely followed by a smiling Ginny in emerald green robes that matched her hair perfectly.

I gazed at them in shock, "Are you all serious?"

"Of course we are! Now stand up!" Parvati waved her hands around, her cerulean blue sparkly robes shimmered.

I stood up slowly, watching as they circled me in deep thought. "Oh please, don't add anything with frills."

Ginny waved her wand around me, "How about this?"

My normal black school robes shimmered and suddenly the black faded into a pretty light lavender colour. Lavender placed a finger under her chin, "Hmmm no, that's too...me."

Ginny shrugged, "Fine! Let's see you come up with something else."

Parvati stepped up, and waved her wand lightly. "How about this?'

The lavender shimmered and faded into a deep maroon colour. Ginny stared and shook her head, "No! No!! That just..looks too medieval."

I rolled my eyes, quite liking the colour but found it rather amusing at how my three friends were bickering about. "No, let's try this!" Lavender raised her wand and my robes instantly turned into a China red with white polka-dots. I groaned, "Oh god. I look like I'm wearing Minnie Mouse's skirt."

"What? Who's Minnie Mouse?" Ginny stared.

I waved my hand lightly, "Oh, muggle stuff."

Lavender made a face, "Oops, that went wrong."

I sighed, taking out my own wand. "How about I design my own robes? Alright?"

"Oh but it was getting so fun!" Parvati whined, twirling a bit of her copper brown hair.

Ginny crossed her arms, "Very well, let's leave Ms. Potter alone."

"Ms. Potter?" I repeated.

Lavender laughed as they went out the door. "We get to do your hair though! Alright?"

"Fine," I replied as I closed the door.

Peace at last.

I stared at my image, turning around and inspecting myself. I waved my wand several times over my robes, projecting an image in my mind then waving my wand over them. Yet nothing seemed to please me. Nothing seemed good enough.

Purple made me look too dark. Black was too plain. I liked periwinkle blue, but many of my dress robes were in that colour. I wanted a change.

Finally, I waved my wand over myself without really a thought in particular, and I found myself rather pleased.

I stood in white high heels that were strapped to my feet. I was clad in white shimmering robes made of soft silk with a shawl draped daintly along my arms made of a translucent material. I shifted about, the light caught at the material of my robes and casted different colours along the shiny material. My ears wore dangly earrings that had the shape of a star at the bottom. My neck wore a thin silver chain with a matching shooting star at the centre.

My hair hung loosely around me, not as wavy as before. It looked almost longer...down to my waist in nice straight sheets. I smiled, liking what smiled back at me from the mirror as I stepped out of the washroom.

Lavender stood up from her bed and stared at me while Ginny looked up from a novel she was reading. Parvati simply stared, yet she was the first to find her voice. "Hermione?"

"Hello," I waved, smiling. "What do you think?"

"Perfect," Lavender whispered.

Ginny squinted, "Whoa, what material is that Herms? It looks like you're almost...glowing."

"I don't know," I replied truthfully. "I just...I don't know! Bam, it just appeared." I grinned, pocketing my wand.

"Angelic, really," Lavender added in awe. "Guess we don't have to do your hair." She eyed my straight hair. "You're just missing a halo."

I laughed as Ginny just shook her head. "Oh I can't wait until he sees you like this!"

~*~

"HERMIONE GRANGER? Is that you?" Seamus Finnigan came strolling up to me with Padma Patil hooked around his arm. I had just entered the Great Hall with Ginny. The room had been transformed into a beautiful ballroom with pumpkins and floating bats. The house tables were gone, except one of them with an assortment of different foods along the table, like a buffet.

I laughed, "Yes, it's me."

Padma hit him in the shoulder. "Are you hitting on her? Remember, you're my date." She pouted.

Seamus chuckled, "Of course, dear lady."

Parvati's twin smiled as Dean came up to us. "Hullo there everyone!" He whistled. "Looky here, beautiful young ladies! That's one of the reasons I love dances." He looked from Ginny to me and suddenly asked, "What do you say when you meet an angel?"

Everyone stared at him. Dean started laughing, "Halo! Get it? Halo!" He broke into a fit of laughter again as everyone remained silent and stared at him.

"I'm so glad I'm not his date," Padma commented as she looked at Seamus. "I'm hungry.'

"Well then, let us depart to the buffet table?" He offered his arm for her and she took it daintly, the two sweeping away.

I rolled my eyes lightly as Ginny giggled, "Oooh I wonder where Harry is?"

"..I don't know," I suddenly realized he was no where in sight.

Yet, as if on cue, I felt a tap on my shoulder as I spun around and felt myself falling into the green flecks of his eyes. He looked taller, for some reason, with his hair still a messy mass, yet he was clad in deep forest green dress robes that matched his deep eyes perfectly. I didn't know what he did, but he looked very charming indeed. "You're very beautiful 'Mione..." He said gently.

Ginny giggled from beside me as Harry flicked his eyes towards her. "Ginny Weasley?"

She nodded, surprised that he knew her name. He nodded curtly, "I have heard of you from 'Mione."

I smiled, tugging my shawl closer around myself as Harry took my hand into his. "Would you like to dance?"

I nodded, suddenly red in the cheeks as he swept me off towards the centre of the room where only a few couples were dancing. Yet everything and everyone seemed to stop as we started dancing. Swaying in tune with the gentle music, in time with each other's feet, it was as if we were meant to dance this way. To dance together, and only with each other.

I felt his soft breath on my bare neck, I felt my heart beating evently against my rib cage...and that was when I heard someone clear their throat. It was Justin.

"May I cut in?" He said politely to Harry then glanced at me with a bright smile.

Harry's grip tightened around my waist as he pulled me closer, almost possessively. He didn't reply.

Justin tapped his foot, looking oddly at Harry. "Er...perhaps you didn't hear me but, may I.."

And Harry didn't let him finish for he had took my hand and was beginning to walk away. I looked over my shoulder, at Justin's confused expression, then back at Harry's who's eyes seemed ablaze again.

"Harry...?"

"I don't like him," He muttered fiercely once we were away from the rest of the crowd. "I don't like him." He repeated under his breath.

I looked up at him, "...Harry, it's just Justin."

"I don't like him, I don't like anyone that tries to get too close to you 'Mione..." He said gently, pressing me close to him again. "Don't you understand?"

I gripped tightly at my shawl as if it were my life. "Oh Harry, it's not like I'll fall in love with him!" I joked.

Harry tensed, I felt it under me as he looked at me. "Of course you won't...of course you won't fall in love with him," He mumbled, caressing my cheek.

I nodded gently as he suddenly took something out of his pocket. It was a necklace, on a thin gold chain with a white lily flower in the middle. He reached around my neck, clasping the necklace on. "For you, 'Mione."

"...Thank you," I fingered the pendant thoughtfully in my fingers.

"It was my mother's." He said in a barely audible voice.

"Oh Harry...I don't deserve this then.."

"No, you do," He said quickly. "Much more than me even. It was all my fault...."

"...What?"

"My mother..." His eyes fell. "Nevermind. Just promise me, you won't leave me?"

I could've swore I had seen something no one else had seen. He had opened his doors for a brief second and had closed it as soon as it had opened. I sighed disappointedly, but nodded, "I promise."

"Good...that's good then," He dropped his hand from my cheek. "Because I wouldn't be able to take it if you left me.."

7. Harry's Room

AN: Just a little reminder/warning thing here. I'm not meaning to pop your bubbles or anything but this fic is kind of...strange? As in it's not like..happy happy fluff fluff under the rainbow H/Hr stuff. I'm just warning you that perhaps you might not like what you read from about now on and until the end...eh, I sound like I'm shooing you guys away but no- it's just a little hint thingy that I did warn you so don't come and yell at me saying "What! This is so wrong!" But I will promise this is an H/Hr ending and this is an H/Hr fic =P Hence it is under the H/Hr category. Haha, well that is all I have to say! Hope you like this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of the HP world, the wonderful and talented J.K Rowling does =)

Mesmerized Drowning
Chapter Seven: Harry's Room

Fall is ending, winter is beginning. Another season flown by, another season arrives. It's the middle of November now, so I suppose winter is still in the distance, but it's still coming. I'm going to go back home for the winter holidays. Tell my parents about my new school, my new life, my new boyfriend? I wonder how they'll take it. And of course, I'd get to visit little Anthea too. I wonder how much she's grown since the past few months.

But those things aren't really on my mind. It was still Harry. Always Harry that was on the top of the list of things to think of. Things to figure out. Yes, Harry was very hard to figure out.

So here I am, sitting alone by the lake with the sky a splattered rainbow of red, orange, and pink. My fingers intertwined with the thin gold chain of the necklace Harry had given me. My fingers can feel every curve of a petal, every dent or scratch on the lily flower that hung so daintily on the chain. With this necklace, I yearned to know more. Know more about Lily. About James Potter. About Harry's life.

If only he would let me.

I feel like I'm walking repeatedly into a stone wall, getting no where at all, and once I hit the wall, I bounce back even farther again. But through all this, I still love Harry. I don't know why, but I really love him. I guess that saying is right; when you truly love someone, there are no reasons.

So perhaps you might think it's one of those teenage romances. With the sweet romantic candle-light dinners and the fresh red roses that greet you everytime you open the door. Yet no...it doesn't feel like that at all. My relationship feels surreal. I feel like I'm walking on clouds, or water, something not solid. Sometimes, it feels hard to breath. That's when Harry closes up on me. And yet sometimes I feel like I'm surfacing again- that's when Harry shows me more of him. Let's me see the real Harry.

But those times are so rare, and I drown more than I surface.

And I wonder when I'll completely drown...

~*~

For Muggle Studies, we are studying about muggle art. And strange enough, we are to draw muggle art. Yet I don't really see the difference between muggle art and wizarding art other than the fact that wizarding paintings move. Oh well, I suppose Professor Leo has run out of things to teach us. She really is a bit strange.

I'm standing in front of my canvas thinking that I could be spending time studying for an upcoming Defense Against the Dark Arts test instead of drawing something with 'light', 'perspective', and 'shadows' according to Professor Leo. I think she really likes art, looking at how enthusiastic she is while the rest of the class is rather glum.

"Miss Granger! Miss Granger!"

I snapped my head to attention and looked at her questioningly. "Yes, professor?"

"Why are you just standing there, dear? Pick up your brush," She picked up my brush, "and express yourself!" She placed the brush in my hands, wrapping my fingers around the smooth wooden handle while giving me a ridiculously bright smile.

I managed a feeble smile in return and dipped my brush into a random bottle of paint. It happened to be green. Green as the fresh grass under the rays of the sun. Green as the leaves of the trees...Green as his eyes.

I draw a pair of eyes with black paint and green. The black mixes a bit with the green, causing the eyes to seem...dark. Haunted? No, not really haunted, but mysterious. Just like my Harry. I look at the eyes a bit more before someone peeked over my shoulder.

"Oooh, scary."

It was Lavender. "I'll take that as a compliment," I replied.

"Well, it was a compliment." Lavender stepped back with crossed arms, a wet brush in her hand that was dabbed with red. "Oddly, those eyes remind me of his eyes, don't you think?" She winked casually at me.

I couldn't compress the smile that was forming on my dry lips. I hadn't realized they were so dry, they felt like cracking. "Yeah, it does look like his eyes. Doesn't it?"

"Mmm hmm," She answered.

I turned to look over my shoulder at her canvas. A mop of red meets my eyes. "Ah, a red blob."

She turned crimson and quickly stood in front of her canvas, blocking my sight from it. "Uh, yeah. You see, it's almost Christmas in a way, so I'm just getting into the spirit!" Lavender laughed nervously. "Red and green, right?"

"Right," I secretly thought it looked like a mop of...Weasley hair. Yet I kept that thought to myself and turned gingerly back to stare at my painting that stared back at me.

I dabbed my brush into the bottle of black paint again. One of the handy things of paint brushes bought in the wizarding world is that you don't have to dip it into a bucket of water to clean it off from the last colour you used. It simply just...does it itself.

A stroke to the left...downwards, a bit over there. Hmmm...that looked a bit too neat to be his hair. Yes, another stroke to the right would balance it off.

I stepped back to examine my masterpiece. I had sketched the frame of his face with pencil first and then his hair had been done with a mixture of black paint and white to highlight a few places. I wasn't that talented with paint, but I was happy with my painting so far.

I was contemplating whether or not to add that infamous scar or not when I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Hermione, that's beautiful."

"Thank you, professor," I replied and glanced down at her hand. Hmm..her nails were awfully long and were starting to dig into my shoulder.

"It's very...deep," Professor Leo dropped her hand, I let out a breath. "His eyes...very charming, yet very mysterious, don't you agree?"

"Mmm hmm," I murmered as I sank into the intense gaze of the eyes that I had drawn. I felt a kind of faraway voice calling my name, but I wasn't too sure. It didn't matter did it? Nothing mattered, as long as I could continue staring into those eyes...

"Miss Granger?"

My eyes darted upwards to the curious gaze of Professor Leo. She smiled gently, "Daydreaming?"

"...Um, yes," I answered quite sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I won't do that again."

"It's perfectly alright," She said. "Sometimes you might just get some inspiration within those watery thoughts." She said calmly, showing her nice straight white teeth, a strange look in her glassy hazel eyes. She was probably one of the prettiest professors at Hogwarts, though her nose was a bit too pointy.

"Inspiration? Perhaps..." I replied, placing my brush into the black paint bottle again.

Professor Leo tilted her head, chestnut locks escaping from her lose bun. "Is there something on your mind?"

I blinked, "..No."

She nodded slightly, an unreadable expression on her placid face. "Very well." And she turned to walk off and inspect Lavender's art.

I watched her go, her navy blue robes brushing the ground softly. I wonder what made her ask that..was anything on my mind? I wonder why I had said no. Well, what else could I have said? That I was having a strange relationship with one of the most famous wizards in the wizarding world? No, those weren't things you normally told a teacher...and I wasn't particularily close with Professor Leo.

I sighed, raising my brush to my canvas again. Strange, I felt awfully weird and away from my own body.

Is this what love is suppose to feel like?

~*~

It was one of those quiet Saturday afternoons where you have nothing to do. I had finished all my assignments last week, and I had nothing left to do. The sun was out, but it was still cold. So here I sit in the Great Hall picking at my lunch which only a quarter of has ended in my stomach so far.

"Hermione," Someone whispered.

I looked up from my plate and saw Parvati pointing a finger at the Slytherin table. "Look." She mouthed.

I looked.

And so from there came Pansy Parkinson wearing her school uniform with her skirt hemmed up in an awfully short manner. She had a firey glint in her eyes as she took long strides over, her heels clicking on the cold marble floor. I assumed she was heading towards me.

"Granger," She spat.

And I was correct. I tried a smile, but it failed miserably so I kept an expressionless face. "Hello to you too."

"Oh stop acting so sweet," She pointed a finger right between my eyes. Her fingernails were painted green. Ah, she had Slytherin spirit. "It's been long enough hasn't it?"

"What has?" I asked innocently, gently pushing her finger away from my face.

Pansy's eyes went ablaze as she crouched over the table with narrowed eyes. "Well don't you always know the answer? Smart, intelligent Hermione Granger isn't it? You know what I mean, stop acting."

"Well you could mean alot of things," I replied dryly.

She stepped back and stood in her full height as if she were trying to tower over me. "You and my Harry." She said shrilly.

I struggled to contain my laughter and succeeded by only snorting once. "Your Harry?" I blurted out.

"Yes, my Harry!" She said so loudly that everyone once again turned their attention to us. Why must I always be part of these situations? "At first, I thought perhaps it was a joke. Then two weeks went by, and I thought it was just a fling thing. You know, I thought Harry would just leave you by then, and then he didn't!" She shrieked.

I looked at her with my chin resting in my palm. "Well, too bad for you."

"Ooooh," She had her fists clenched now. "So then I knew it must be you !" She had her finger in my face again. "I knew it must've been all your fault! You must've threatened him!"

"Threaten him?!" I thought this was a bit too ridiculous.

She nodded dumbly. "Yes! Threatened him! How else and why else would he stay by your side!" She looked at me from head to toe, or at least what she could see of me since I was sitting. "Hermione Granger, you're not all that pretty, what does he see in you?" She rolled her eyes. "So yes, then I knew it must've been something you did to him. Threatened him or possibly used a spell!" She exclaimed wide-eyed.

I choked on my sandwich and burst out laughing, causing a bit of ham and cheese to find there way to Pansy's face and hair. "Me threaten him! Use a spell?!" I stood up with a laugh. "You really are shallow Miss Parkinson."

Pansy sneered, "Shallow? Me? What are you then?! Some whore that goes around stealing other people's boyfriends!"

I was thinking up some other remark when someone wrapped their hands around my waist which caused me to nearly jump out of my skin. "Now, now, Pansy. Play nice."

It was Harry. I smiled inwardly. Of course it would be Harry. Didn't he always come to my rescue?

Pansy paled. "Harry! What are you doing?!" She was clearly commenting on the contact we were having.

"I'm sticking up for my girlfriend," He answered plainly and sighed, "I really don't understand you Pansy."

"Of course you don't," She cried in that same shrill voice. "Because you never have time for me!"

Harry unwrapped his arms from my waist and came to stand beside me. I glanced at him. My pillar of support. "Pansy, must you always create such a scene?" Harry smirked. "Draco wouldn't be too happy."

Pansy fell silent very suddenly.

"You should be glad he's not here, wouldn't he be so hurt?" Harry sighed. "And wouldn't he be extremely hurt if he found out that his girlfriend was thinking his best friend was her boyfriend?" He finished with a raised eyebrow. "Did you understand that?"

Pansy's face contorted into a nasty look to a rather lost expression. "Well, you wouldn't tell Draco.." She said shakily. "I mean, you wouldn't do that to your best friend."

Harry tapped his foot lightly on the floor. "Well, I don't know..." He said with a strained look on his face. "I mean, since Draco is my best friend, then wouldn't I tell him that his girlfriend was backstabbing him?"

The Slytherin girl glared, "Ooooh I really don't understand why you're with her, Harry! She's not worth it! I love you! Not her! Since I can't get you, I had to get second best!"

"...So that's what I am to you?"

The cold drawling voice of Draco Malfoy cut through the silence like a knife. Everyone turned towards the doors of the Great Hall, in which Draco Malfoy was leaning on casually with a blank look on his pale and pointy face.

You could hear Pansy suck in a sharp breath of utter surprise, I pitied the girl. "Draco!"

He smirked and stood up straighter, taking long strides across the room towards where we stood. "Pity our relationship couldn't last," He said steadily, his steel grey eyes fixed on Pansy's deep green ones without blinking.

"But Draco honey," She reached towards him with a shaking hand which Draco simply caught between his own hand.

"Don't touch me," He spat and roughly pushed her arm aside. Pansy let out a strangled sob, flashing an angry look at Harry at the same time. "It's all your fault!"

I rolled my eyes, my patience running dry. "Is that all you can say?"

Pansy stomped her foot hard, making me wonder if her heel would snap or not. With that, she turned her head and stomped off without another word and struggling to keep her head high. I shook my head and glanced back at Harry to Draco who still had that blank look on his face.

Harry opened his mouth to speak but Draco held up a hand and smirked, "Don't apologize Potter. Wasn't your fault was it? Parkinson's got problems, that part's clear." He shrugged. "Back to Blaise," He winked and walked off.

I stared while Harry placed both of his wide hands on my shoulder. "Let's go."

I nodded numbly, replaying the events that I just happened in such a short time. "Where are we going?" I asked once we were outside and away from the murmuring crowds.

"I was thinking we could go to my room," He replied lightly.

My stomach gave a lurch. The room. His room. Didn't rooms always mean something? I shook my head. Silly silly thoughts. Bad bad thoughts. I swallowed hard as he turned his head, a soft smile on his face. "Are you alright?"

"Of course," I replied with a meek smile.

We proceeded down the corridors of the dungeon. I had never been to the Slytherin Common Room...but then again, I wouldn't be going there. Harry was a prefect and prefects got their own rooms didn't they?

"We're here," He announced as we stopped in front of a nice flat wall of brick. "It's a bit damp, but the dungeons are always like this."

"Oh," I wished I could say something smarter but at the present moment I couldn't really think.

"Hermione," He spoke.

I thought he was calling me so I turned to look at him curiously, but when the stones shifted away and melted into each other to form an archway, I knew that it was actually the password to his room. I stared. "My name is your password?"

"I guess so," He answered as we entered his room.

Rooms were suppose to tell you something about the person living in it. Well, that's what I had come to learn from the past. Yet if you were just a person walking into this room, you would think the person living here was a depressing bloke.

Of course, the room was green. The curtains were all drawn shut, and the curtains were of a deep forest green. It was rather stuffy, but not as stuffy as Trelawney's classroom (though I've only been up there once when I had a tour of the school). The carpet was (surprise, surprise!) green. The walls were that deep forest green again, so deep it looked black.

There was a fireplace, though no fire flickered. Surrounding the fireplace was a set of lounge chairs, very much like the ones in Gryffindor but they were green with silver snakes crawling up from the legs of the chairs. I didn't know how I could see all this with no light coming from outside, but then I realized there were candles.

Not just one, but many. Dozens of candles aligned on the chestnut bookshelves along the far left wall. A queen sized bed with hanging forest green tapestries was set in between two long windows that stretched from the bottom of the wall to the top (curtains drawn). Two nightstands stood on opposite sides of the bed, with candles once again ontop.

Yet in the centre of the room was a medium sized round table. At first I had thought another big candle sat ontop of it, and yet it was not. I soon came to realize it was actually something of a pot of some sort with wispy smoke coming out from it..seemingly making it glow. This in fact- was a pensieve.

I had read about them in many books but they were said to be very complicated to make. I glanced at Harry curiously but he didn't seem to notice for he was walking up to the table already and drawing another wispy silver strand from his forehead and into the watery depths.

I watched in amazement as he stood back, simply looking into the pensieve. I was curious to know, but knew that it was wrong to ask or take a peek into his deepest thoughts.

"This is my pensieve," He suddenly spoke up.

"I figured that part out," I answered.

Harry sat down on one of the squashy chairs, staring into the empty fireplace. He snapped his fingers and a burst of green flames erupted from the ashes. I jumped slightly, not feeling any warmth coming from the fire.

"Come and sit, 'Mione."

I walked over towards the chairs and sat down on one next to him. Even though I was so much closer to the fire now, I still felt nothing. "Why don't you let some sunlight in?" I asked, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Do you not like it this way?" He asked in a whisper.

I shuddered, not really knowing why. "Well...it's your room. But perhaps some sunlight would do some good."

"Hmm..really?" He snapped his fingers away and the curtains pulled apart.

It made no difference.

No sunlight came streaming into the room. No sunlight came and blinded my eyes. It was still as dark as before. I suddenly realized that his windows didn't face the sun, but the thick woods of the Forbidden Forest. A tall tree grew right outside one of the windows and blocked any ray of light that could find its way there. How depressing..

"Nevermind then," I said.

Harry smiled, "You'll get use to it."

I tucked a strand of lose hair behind my ear, feeling the silence creep up my arms and legs. "Do you love me, 'Mione?" He broke the ice again.

"..Why are you asking me that, Harry?"

"Just a question." He answered, wrapping his fingers around mine.

I felt my head drop to rest on his shoulder. "...I do love you." I felt my voice answer lightly.

He rested his head ontop of mine, a bit of his hair tickling my ear. "I love you too 'Mione."

"Mmm..." I felt him shift beneath me and somehow I found his lips on mine. My lips were still dry, I could feel them brushing roughly on the surface of Harry's lips. His kiss was gentle at first, then all of sudden intense and it was hard to breath. And then he stopped and turned his head to look at the fire again. I caught my breath.

"I don't like Justin."

"I know that.."

"I don't like the Patil twins," Harry murmured into my ear, holding me close to him now. "I don't like the Weasleys. I don't like Longbottom either."

I felt my brow scrunch up in confusion, my face pressed up on his chest. "Then who do you like?"

"Only you 'Mione," He answered, his breath a nice minty smell. "Would you be able to survive in only a world of you and me?"

The question seemed so simple. Like a question a five year old would ask. So naive. So innocent. But it was so hard to answer in this atmosphere. I felt his arms tighten around my body which felt so small now against his muscular frame. "Would you, 'Mione?"

I breathed. "I don't know," I answered truthfully, "it's hard to imagine."

"Of course it is.." He said. "But I can make it possible. Would you like that 'Mione?"

"...Only you and me?'

"Mm hmm," He whispered. "Only you and me...no frustrations...no pain...no hurt when it's just you and me. Wouldn't that be bliss, 'Mione?"

"It'd be so...lonely."

His lips brushed against my forehead. "But you'd get use to it. You're everything important to me. I only need you and I can do anything."

My heart fluttered at his gentle words. Such entracing words that seemed to lace themselves into me. Inside of me. They weren't just simple words, they were spellbounding. They made me float, made my stomach set lose on butterflies.

"But how can it be possible? There's so many more people out there in the world...we can't be the only ones on earth."

"Of course not," He chuckled. "But we can imagine. Imagine a place where there's only me and you. Or..you could stay away from those people."

I narrowed my eyes. "What people?"

"...Oh, Lavender...and Parvati," He answered. "They aren't important. They're nothing but people that are clearly jealous. They'll hurt you 'Mione." His voice dropped softly. My ears tingled.

"Hurt me?" I blinked in confusion. "Well, I know Lav is a bit...jealous but Parvati's alright..."

"They're acting," He murmured in disdain. "Nothing but an act. Someday they'll strike you in the back and you wouldn't even know it...it's always like that. Sometimes I wonder why we make friends. They do nothing but backstab you, or something of that sort. What's the good of it all?"

I shivered at the bitterness in his voice. "But friends are there for you..."

"Only you're here for me, 'Mione.." Harry said. "They're all just wanting something from you...it's never out of just pure kindness. When you have it all, they all suck up to you. When you lose it all, they flee like mice from a cat." He snapped his fingers. "Just like that. And they just leave you to face the danger and when you finally win- they come back expecting you to accept them." He shook his head. "It's a sad world."

I took in his words slowly. Understanding what he meant...but at the same time my own thoughts seemed duller. Unclear. Friends were important weren't they? But Harry was too...what to do now? Was this a decision I had to make? "So to sum it all up.." I began hesitantly. "You want me to drop all my friends?"

"..Are they your friends?" Harry questioned, he had his left hand in my hair now. Running his smooth fingers over my hair. "Once they heard that you were with me, they all ran didn't they? You had to do something extraordinary to get them all back to you, didn't you? Are true friends like that?"

It dawned on me..that this was true. They had all turned on me...all wore Millicent's buttons and flashed it in my face like it was nothing. But Ginny came back...didn't she? But not until I blew up in front of the whole school...my so called "act of bravery". I sucked in a shaky breath and Harry just held me close. "It's alright 'Mione..the truth is harsh..but I'm here for you."

I fell deeper into his embrace, into his arms, and into his scent. Into his aspect of life. I breathed in his air. Breathed in his scent. Everything was Harry. Harry was there for me. And that was enough. Wasn't it?

"I had to go through reality alone.." He said in a dazed tone. "No one was there for me. Those that were there..died. I don't understand it. If it was my fault or not." He seemed to think I understood what he was saying, yet I didn't, but I felt like I should listen. "Everyone sees me as...Harry Potter. No one sees me...as me. I'm like an object. Not a person. People want to know me, want to shake my hand. What ever for? To get something from me. Knowledge. Power. And they never see me as person.."

He said this all softly, yet quickly. "Only you do, 'Mione. Right? You wouldn't use me as a tool, like so many have tried. So what if I defeated Voldemort? It was destiny. My destiny. Was it a choice? Was it a choice to have all this unwanted fame? Fame is nothing but an accessory you wear. Sure, it looks pretty, but in the end, what do you gain from it?"

I listened.

"You know what 'Mione?"

"Hmm?"

"I've never said so much to anyone before.." He dropped his arms and I suddenly felt naked, use to the pressure of his arms around me. He suddenly shoke. I glanced up at him. He looked scared.

"Harry?"

He stood up and crossed the room, towards his pensieve and drew out another thought. "I know it's ok to tell you though, 'Mione. Because you wouldn't turn on me. You're different. You're special..." He muttered with a faraway look in his bright green eyes.

I stood up and joined him by his pensieve, brought my arms around him. He was so mature for his age. Gone through so much in such a short time. His destiny had began when he was an enfant...he had seen things you wouldn't normally see. And he was so insecure...

"You act as if I'd fly away or something," I teased, leaning my cheek against his back. He was tall...a head taller than me.

He didn't turn around but reached for my hands and covered them with his own. "But you won't."

"...Of course I won't." I replied.

And something just came clear in my mind. That I had to stay with Harry. I wanted to wash away the insecurity he had in life. I wanted to bring him the sunlight that he didn't have. I wanted to care and love him. I wanted to be with him from now on and walk with him down the spiraling road of life.

Harry Potter had no day in his life. Only the cloak of night and the darkness it brought, and only the eerie light of the moon that was his source of light.

Yet I hadn't been so sure of anything until now. I was determined to bring him back the sun.

~Coming up in the next ch~
-Justin gets a bit too close with Hermione
-Harry shows another side of himself (oh dear)
-Hermione falls deeper...

8. Misunderstood

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of the HP world, the wonderful and talented J.K Rowling does =)

Mesmerized Drowning
Chapter Eight: Misunderstood

I'm reading a book. That's normal enough, isn't it? But I really shouldn't be reading a book. I should be studying for the N.E.W.T.s before they suddenly pop up and I'll realize that I don't have enough time to study for them. Nonetheless, I'm reading a book.

In Harry's room.

I flipped another page of "Neat Facts- Ever wonder how many hearts a flobberworm has?". This book was one of the many sitting on Harry's many bookshelves. I've spent many afternoons just lounging in his room with a book in my lap and the green flames of the fire to keep me 'warm'.

Yes, Harry was right. You do get use to the darkness.

Harry's room...is my room. Well, he lets me come here whenever I want to. I can read anything I want. I can sit anywhere and on any chair.

But don't go near the pensieve.

Is what he strictly said with this intensity alight in his eyes. Of course, I nodded, but curiousity nagged at me constantly. Perhaps it's just human nature; when you're told not to do something, you want to do it even more. Yet I won't go near his pensieve...as much as my curiousity nagged.

I shut the book, placing it on the coffee table in front of me. My feet crossed the carpeted floor, once again curious, and headed towards the bathroom joined to the room.

The bathroom was green.

Typical.

I glanced into the mirror that covered most of the far left wall. I scrunched up my nose in disproval. My hair seemed like it needed a good wash, as it was looking very stringy and even more bushy by the minute.

"You're not Mr. Potter. Who are you?"

I blinked in surprise at the mirror's sudden question. "I'm Harry's...girlfriend."

"Oh really?" the mirror seemed amused, or was it just my imagination? "You're the first thing he's ever let into his bathroom you know."

"Am I?"

"Indeed you are, Harry's girlfriend."

"Um...call me Hermione," I offered.

"Alright then, Hermione. How did you end up with young Mr. Potter? He doesn't seem to be the type to...get into a relationship." The mirror seemed to laugh. Was it mocking me? I frowned.

"We just met at Hogwarts..." I replied dryly.

"Oh really? That's interesting. You should know...Mr. Potter is very, very-"

The dark mahogany door of the washroom opened abruptly.

The mirror fell silent.

I turned around, meeting bright emerald jewels. "Harry," I acknowledged.

"Talking to the mirror?" He slipped the mirror a side-glance, almost in an accussing sort of way.

I nodded slowly.

He raised an eyebrow. "Did it...say anything?"

I shook my head. "No...it just asked me who I was."

Harry's tense shoulders relaxed as he led me out of the bathroom, back into the darkness of his room. I privately wondered how he didn't trip over anything in the almost complete darkness of the room. This thought led me to wonder if Harry ate alot of carrots. But of course, vitamin A could be absorbed from a number of different foods...what am I saying? Who cares how Harry gets his superb night vision.

I shook my head to rid myself from my mindless thoughts.

He had his fingers around mine as we walked out of his room and back into the dingy halls of the dungeons. Harry gave me a smile before leading me down the hall. "I want to show you the Slytherin common room. Have you been there before?"

"Of course not," I replied, my curiousity perking up as we stopped in front of what seemed like a solid stone wall. I stared at him before he muttered something under his breath that sounded curiously like 'Buttered Chopsticks' but I wasn't too sure.

The stones re-shifted, much like the entrance to Diagon Alley from muggle London. I watched as the damp stones finished shifting, leaving a big enough doorway in the wall for three people to walk in side by side.

"Hullo Harry."

Harry nodded at the dazed looking boy. "Ello Crabbe."

I secretly thought of a reason why the Slytherin entrance was designed to be so wide..I giggled to myself which made Harry peer at me in question. I shook my head lightly, "Just thought of something amusing."

Harry shrugged with an amused expression before waving one arm out as if he were presenting something. "Welcome to Slytherin, 'Mione."

My first thought was that...Gryffindor's common room was much brighter and...cozy. Here, in the ever so green room, it felt cold and damp. I assumed it was because we were in the dungeon part of the castle anyways. I bit my lip. I would be awfully grumpy to wake up in this type of atmosphere every day. No wonder some Slytherins were so foul in moods...but of course, not Harry. Never Harry.

I smiled. "It's...green." I found myself commenting rather stupidly.

The boy-who-lived chuckled, "Yes it is."

"Yeah Granger, it would surely take someone with a brain to figure that out."

I glanced towards the stairs that led to the dormitories and found none other than Pansy Parkinson leaning casually on the railing, her hair in a ridiculous style of side ponytails. She sneered and seemingly jumped down the rest of the stairs and landed with a confident smirk just a few feet away me. "What's a little Gryffindor like you doing here?" She curled a strand of her hair around her index figure, eyeing me with obvious disdain.

Goodness, couldn't this girl do more than just taunt me? I rolled my eyes. "Hello Pansy." I greeted in a lame attempt to be civil.

"Who said a mudblood like you could call me by my firstname?" she spat, her eyes flaring. "Really, it makes me feel dirty to be called by someone like you."

Mudblood. I bit my lip hard. Sure, this habit wasn't a really good one, but it really controlled my temper. Harry seemed to tense once again beside me, a gentle squeeze in my hand told me he was there. I felt my heart flutter.

Pansy seemed to watch this all with a look of disgust. "Harry darling, what are you doing? Standing beside that thing," She pointed lazily at me.

I knew I was turning red, my cheeks were getting warmer by the second. What I really wanted to do was to get my wand out and just do something to get her to shut her mouth up. Harry simply just squeezed my hand again. "Parkinson, sod off."

My anger subsided as the words left Harry's mouth. Why was I even getting angry? I had Harry on my side, wasn't that the whole point that caused Pansy's obvious envy of me? Yet I didn't like being called a mudblood. Something foul...something mean. I was never the most popular little girl back in muggle school. No...Geeky Granger, Goody-Two-Shoes, Teacher's Pet. I grew up with taunts and nicknames.

I wasn't going to put up with it now.

"Stop it Parkinson, I don't see what you're trying to gain from this," I muttered almost darkly.

She placed a hand on her hip in a superior manner and made a sort of tutting noise. "Oooh, is that all you can say Granger?"

"No, but I won't even bother becaues I'd just be wasting my breath," I replied calmly.

Her eyes narrowed dangerously before her eyes darted towards Harry. "I don't see what you see in her. Tell me..." Her eyes darted back to me and looked me from head to toe. "So, she's got a brain...she's got a nice bush for hair. She's got a...unique taste of fashion," She eyed my clothing in disgust. "Nothing else worth liking. Why her, Harry?" She was coming closer now, almost a breath away as I could smell a wift of her perfume that made me sneeze instantly.

Harry let go of my hand, crossed his arms, and stared at Pansy as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Why Hermione?"

"You heard me the first time," Pansy smirked.

He mirrored the smirk. I suppose it was a Slytherin trait. "One, she's...Hermione. Second, she's Hermione. Third reason, she's Hermione.." His voice trailed off as he caught Pansy's gaze again. "Do you get my point Parkinson?"

She looked furious. "But you loved me! I knew you did! Everyone thought I was crazy, but I knew you loved me." her eyes flashed. "Until she came out of no where and just grabbed you away! And your reasons make no sense to me at all!"

Harry held her gaze calmly. "Don't assume things Parkinson, especially don't assume me. My reason for liking...no. Loving, Hermione?" He shook his head. "There is no reason. That's love."

This time I turned red out of embarrassment and flattery.

Pansy glared, as she took one final step closer and was just inches away from my face as she leaned down (she was slightly taller than me, with her high boots) to look at me directly in the eye. Her eyes glinted, the anger evident and causing her already dark green eyes to look darker than ever. "You just watch yourself, mudblood. Just wait and see, you'll be sorry." She spat, standing at her full height again. "You'll regret ever taking my Harry away from me."

I couldn't help but shudder as she turned away and literally stomped off and up the stairs back to the girl's dormitories. I let out a rather shaky breath as Harry grasped my shoulders and turned me to him.

"Don't you let her get to you 'Mione..."

"Don't worry..." I answered, leaning my forehead against his broad chest, sniffing in his musky scent of pine and sweat.

Harry pressed me closer to him, his chin resting on the top of my head as we just stood there in silence, fitting perfectly against each other's frames. It was as if we were two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, finally fitted together to form the perfect picture- our picture.

I sighed in content. Lost in my own thoughts...wondering what he was thinking.

Would it always be this perfect?

Of course it would be...I loved Harry. He loved me. There seemed to be nothing that would change this...nothing interfering us (except for the occasional Pansy). Just a straight road ahead for us.

This was perfection.

~*~

The past few days were normal, if not boring, what with many exams and pop quizzes before the merry season of winter. But of course, exams and quizzes are part of the daily life of school, so this was nothing to be surprised about.

And yet I felt like I was being followed.

Yes, followed.

Perhaps it would just be my silly imagination but every corridor or hallway I walked through, I could hear footsteps trailing ever so distantly behind my own. Of course, you would think that other people would be walking in the same hallway, but even if I'm supposedly alone, I would hear a few steps, then silence, a couple more steps. It was terribly unnerving, and creepy too.

So right now, I'm in this situation as I have been since the past few days. This time, I'm pretty sure I'm alone. Maybe it's Peeves? But...you wouldn't be able to hear a ghost walk. I mean, they floated the last time I checked.

I swallowed calmly, stopping in my tracks as a pair of footsteps fell silent behind me. I looked over my shoulder suspiciously and stared at the suit of armour by the end of the hallway curiously. I narrowed my eyes. Maybe I was just being paranoid, but my logical thinking told me that this mysterious stalker could be Pansy plotting to do something incredibly Slytherin-like to me.

Shaking my thoughts away, I proceeded down the hallway only to hear more footsteps once again following me. Was this person stupid? Didn't they know I could hear them? Foolish foolish Pansy...

I slowed down my pace, the footsteps in the distance falling silent once again. I reached for my wand tucked safely in my robes and continued on my way, listening for the familiar echoing of steps.

Step...

Step...

Step...

I pivoted with my right foot and wiped my wand around with me crying out the first thing I could think of. "Stupefy!"

Thud.

During the process of...um, attacking my stalker, I had closed my eyes perhaps afraid at what I could've done. Yet once the words had slipped out of my mouth, and the dull thudding sound of someone slumping to the ground, I knew it was okay to open my eyes to see what damage I had caused.

Oh dear.

It wasn't Pansy at all. But thank goodness it hadn't been a teacher! I could just see myself losing fifty points for Gryffindor! But no, it wasn't Pansy.

It was Justin Finch-Fletchley, Head boy.

I smacked the palm of my hand to my forehead and shook my head at my utter stupidity and hurried over to his fallen figure. Crouching down, I quickly revived him.

The boy blinked his hazel eyes open and stared up at me with a curious expression. "Oh hello Hermione. What am I doing on the ground?" He seemed rather dazed, but I didn't blame him. My stunning charm must've surprised him.

"Oh erm.." I looked at him sheepishly. "Well, it's a long story. Why don't you get up first?" I offered a hand in which he took.

"Ow, nasty fall wasn't it?" He rubbed his head and winced.

I looked at him guiltily. "Sorry..well, for the past few days I've been thinking someone's been following me...and well, I thought it was somebody else. I suppose I was being overly paranoid and I'm awfully sorry about that...um, fall."

"Oh," he raised an eyebrow and blushed. "Well, you were right actually. Perhaps I wasn't the person you thought I would be?"

"What?" I stared at him in bewilderment. "You mean you are my stalker?" I blushed at how my words had come out. "I mean..."

He chuckled, "I get what you mean Hermione. Did you expect someone else? Potter maybe?" His expression seemed darker at the mention of Harry.

I glanced at him in question but decided not to ask. "Well, actually I thought it might've been a Slytherin girl who has an awful grudge against me. But that's just me being silly. Yet...why would you..?"

Once again he turned ten shades of red before replying, "Uh...well...um. No reason. Actually...no, I remember now!" He grinned and reached into his pocket, pulling out a quill. "You left this during Herbology! I've been meaning to return it to you..."

"Oh!" I glanced at the quill, startled. "I didn't even realize I had lost it! Thanks.." I pocketed the quill and smiled.

Justin tapped his feet thoughtfully, looking around him. I tilted my head. "What are you looking for?"

"Oh, no, nothing. I just never realized.." he trailed off and pointed to the walls, "that the walls were stone here.."

I laughed, "I thought most of the walls were stone."

Justin blushed once again. "Oh. I guess I'm not a very observant person am I? Unlike you, that is.."

I bit my lip. Was it me and my strange imagination and thoughts once again or was the Head boy flirting with me? No, no...just my silly imagination once again...

He tapped his foot against the ground some more before looking about him once again. I couldn't help but notice his strange demeanor and wondered why he was all alert and fidgety. I opened my mouth to ask when all of a sudden I went flying against him.

Wam.

If we had been something squishy we would have went splat right into each other for he had come slamming into me too. It was really weird really, almost as if there was this magnetic pull. Seemingly, we were both magnets and so we were stuck together.

And I must say in a very very very embarrasing position.

I was pressed right up against his chest with his chest pressing right up against...me per-say. When I had finally regained my senses, I stepped back but I realized he stepped back too.

He shook his head. "We're stuck."

I looked at him wide-eyed. "What?! We're stuck? And you're saying it so calmly!" I once again tried pushing off of him, but failed.

Justin sighed, "It's no use to panic is it? What can we do about it? You're the smartest witch of the year, don't you know a spell that can fix this?"

I glared, "If I did, we would've been out of this mess by now." I was frustrated. This was too close for my liking. What would Harry think?

Harry, Harry, Harry. My thoughts now swam with Harry. It would be a nightmare if Harry saw what happened.

But what was that? Was that a giggle? I strained to turn around (was that a glimpse of silvery blonde hair just behind the suit of armour?) when running footsteps caught my ear...they were running in the opposite direction. What? That didn't make sense...if someone had been around, wouldn't they have seen Justin and I in this awkward position and tried to help us?

"Relax Hermione, you're all tense," Justin commented.

I frowned. "Well I see you're clearly enjoying this aren't you?"

He turned beat red. "N..n..not..entirely."

This was not pleasant at all. I groaned in frustration when once again I heard footsteps...coming our way!

I strained to turn my head but the position I was in didn't allow me clear view to see who was coming up from behind. I grumbled, "Turn around will you?"

Justin raised an eyebrow and I could've swore he almost smiled. "I don't think I would want to if I were you." He said in a whisper.

I swallowed and narrowed his eyes. "I don't care, whoever it is. Even if it's Dumbledore, at least he'll get us out of this."

Justin managed a shrug and turned around, allowing me to turn around, and allowing me to see...

Oh dear lord, let this be a nightmare.

"...'Mione?"

My throat seem to go dry, my thoughts were screwn about in my mind, but I could very clearly see who it was. Yes, fate was cruel.

"Harry," I managed to utter and knew at once I had to explain myself. "It's not what you think. See, we're stuck." I attemped to pull away from Justin and..strange enough, it worked.

I stared wildly at the detached Justin who looked at me calmly, and then I stared wildly at Harry who had this unreadable expression on his face that I didn't like at all. "I swear we were stuck a minute ago! Weren't we, Justin?" I shifted my eyes back at the boy.

He simply stared at me, then at Harry. "Sorry." Was all he muttered before walking off.

My eyes stared after him in shock. What was that? I wanted to scream. This didn't make sense at all. I was stuck to Justin, and then...right at the wrong time we became unstuck..

"Harry...I was walking down the hall," I began as he took a few steps closer to me, fixing me with his gleaming eyes, "and I heard footsteps...so I stopped, and looked around...to see who it was...but there was no one so.." I felt like I was rambling on now, but I knew what I was saying. I knew what I was trying to get out, but with Harry advancing in on my like this I was losing my thoughts...my words..

Breathe Hermione. Breathe. "Harry, it wasn't suppose to be like that." I finally stated, and realized I had hit the wall with Harry right in front of me, his breath coming in a steady pace, ruffling a few strands of my hair every now and then.

"Of course it wasn't suppose to be like that," He said in a low tone, leaning one hand against the wall above my head. I felt small now. Petite. Tiny. However small, small could get.

"Of course my 'Mione wasn't suppose to go pinning up to Mr. Goody-goody Hufflepuff like that," Harry said in a almost drawl similiar to Malfoy's. "My 'Mione doesn't do that, does she?"

And yet for some reason he didn't seem like he was saying it in the good way. I tried to steady my breathing, looking up at him with a shaky breath before opening my mouth to defend myself when I was captured by his kiss.

How many times have we kissed? I don't know, I think I've lost count or I hadn't even bothered keeping track in the first place. I was stunned of course, wasn't he angry?

But the soft feather-light kisses I was use to did not meet my lips this time. Sure, it started out light, sweet, and innocent. Then, it rapidly increased in force and passion (or was it lust?), until my head painfully was pressing against the wall, his mouth so forceful against mine that I thought I would break underneath his kiss and simply disappear.

And yet I didn't disappear, though I wasn't so sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

And then I could taste something bittersweet in my mouth. Was it blood? Who's blood? His blood? My blood?

I couldn't tell, I just wanted to breathe.

I even wanted to push back against this monstrous kiss that I was sure even the Dementor's Kiss wasn't that forceful. Yet he was too strong, and pressed onwards when all of a sudden he stepped back and fresh air met my nostrils and mouth and filled my lungs with air. Clean, cool air.

My breath came fast, a trickle of blood. I brushed it away with the sleeve of my robes and tasted the blood in my mouth, from my lips no doubt. I wouldn't be surprised if a bruise would form somewhere near there.

"..Harry?" I uttered, dazed and shocked. Was I scared? I couldn't tell. I was so confused.

"My 'Mione...my sweet, intelligent 'Mione..." He said it almost...menacingly? I shivered.

He gripped my chin, almost tightly between his beautiful fingers. He lifted my chin now, tilting me back, the blood still flowed.

"You know better than to go near someone else...especially someone like Justin...you know how much I dislike him..." his eyes flashed. "And the only reason I do is because he likes you 'Mione. Can't you see?"

"...What...?" I managed to say but he seemed not to hear.

"But of course, you must've known he had an interest in you 'Mione, didn't you? Is this your little game, 'Mione?" he muttered. "Are you playing foolish little girl games with me? Perhaps the game of jealousy? Are you trying to make me jealous 'Mione? Are you?" His grip tightened, I winced.

"Harry...it's.."

"It's hurting isn't it?" he said steadily. "Painful? But this is nothing compared to the pain I have suffered, don't you agree? A little squeeze to the chin is nothing. Nothing at all...a mere sting from a bee."

"I'm not playing games," I found my voice once again.

Harry smiled...no, he smirked. "Oh really now? Well, 'Mione is much too mature for games isn't she? Yes...she's much too smart for games." His nails were digging into my flesh ever so slightly, the blood in my mouth didn't seem too unusual anymore. I swallowed, not minding the taste but minding the fact that I was afraid. "Then what were you trying to do? Play hard to get? Show me that you were wanted by others too and that I should feel lucky to have you?"

I shook my head against his grip. "No." I answered. "It was a mistake." And once again he seemed to not hear...was he deaf now? No...he was merely lost in his own thoughts and his own images on what had happened...his own interpretation of the event. But it was wrong. Why couldn't he comprehend it?

"My 'Mione, I thought you knew better than that..." he sneered, "I already feel lucky to have you. I cherish you, I adore you...I love you, is that not enough?" His voice had gone so soft now, the hairs on my neck standing on end with the tickling brushings of his breath.

"You don't understand," I said much loudly than I had thought I would say it.

He seemed surprised, his grip loosened. My chin was soar, my lip seemed to have stopped bleeding. "I don't understand?" he repeated monotonously. "Oh...what can I not understand? You'll never know...what I do know. Of course I understand what-"

I didn't let him finish. "No Harry. No." I sucked in a breath, standing up and away from the wall. My back ached too. "It was simply a mistake. What I told you before was the truth. He followed me. I mean, he's been following me for the past few days and I stunned him with a spell and then all of a sudden we were stuck." I said this while staring at him. Never leaving his unreadable face.

He fell silent. Perhaps processing my words...

I felt my stomach relax. My shoulders dropped. It was alright now...everything would be back to normal now..

But then it went to fast. So very fast.

I had blinked and before I knew it I was flat against the cold floor, my hair in my face, a tangled mass of brown curls, but that didn't take away the stinging pain in my cheek and the tears threatening to spill. It took me a while to get a grip on things, took me a while to figure out why and how I had gotten to the floor.

And when I had finally managed to understand what had happened, he was down with me. Holding me. His strong warm arms encircling me. Embracing me.

"Oh 'Mione..I'm so sorry," he mumbled softly into my hair, his voice muffled. "Maybe it was just...one of those...wrong place at the wrong time kind of things...don't you agree now, 'Mione?" He brushed a strand of hair away from my now tear-stained face.

He planted a soft kiss on my stinging cheek, and strangely the pain seemed to go away...all away. "Don't cry 'Mione...don't cry."

I felt so tired..so weak. I couldn't understand this at all. One second...it was as if it wasn't Harry...then...all of a sudden my Harry was back. My dear loving Harry...always there, always supporting me.

I looked up at him, those warm pools of green as his eyes, his raven black hair tangled. He looked down at me then, and I knew those eyes. Those were my Harry's eyes. Not that monster's eyes. This was Harry.

This was my Harry.

AN: *ducks the tomatoes and various items being thrown* Gah, I've been fearing to write this chapter ever since the beginning. Afraid of your reactions of course =P But do not worry, things will be explained next chapter. Like why Justin and Hermione ended up in that weird magnetic problem and how Harry found out and everything. Mind you I kind of left a hint but I don't know if you'll be able to piece it together. Please don't scream yet, things will make...more sense I suppose as the story progresses.

I must say this type of relationship does occur in real life...as you all know. Abusive relationships are a major problem and by writing this fic, I just wanted to capture the feeling of being in the situation and how it seems so obvious to outsiders that you would just leave that person wouldn't you? But when you're in that situation, I believe it's much more complicated than choosing "leave" or "stay". Maybe you're just in too deep, maybe you truly believed that you love that person or they might change. And you don't really understand why, but that's love isn't it? It's blind, it's almost scary how love can affect a person's behavior...

Um yes, ok, I will stop rambling now. Haha...hopefully you all can stick with me and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.